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[DRAFT] Coppers 'Armless Against Wrong'uns

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Merconitonitopia
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Posts: 1685
Founded: Jul 29, 2013
Psychotic Dictatorship

[DRAFT] Coppers 'Armless Against Wrong'uns

Postby Merconitonitopia » Sun Jul 04, 2021 9:33 pm

Title
Coppers 'Armless Against Wrong'uns

The issue
A police raid on a group suspected of illegally keeping firearms quickly turned into a hostage situation when the police—who had no arms of their own—found themselves severely outgunned.

Validity
Firearms banned in the police force

1.
"Look, @@LEADER@@, we made a mistake," says chief of police @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I don't like it, but the fact is that if we want to continue our righteous crusade against the evils of firearms, we need some firepower of our own—if only to give these despicable gun nuts a taste of their own medicine!" @@HE@@ holds @@HIS@@ truncheon like a rifle and pretends to shoot. "BANG BANG BANG BANG! Eat lead, you bastards!"
Outcome
cops celebrate as firearms return to the police force

2.
"No! You can't!" cries hoplophobe @@RANDOMNAME@@, visibly shaking with fear. "N-no g-g-guns, please! They're terrible things! If we want to fight against firearms, it's imperative that we set a good example for our citizens by not using them ourselves. In fact, we ought to get rid of all forms of weaponry in the police force!"
Outcome
the police have their hands tied since cuffs were banned

3.
"WHAT? You're telling me those cowards didn't put up a fight?" spits officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. "Why, if I was in there with my trusty baton, I'd have those thugs on the floor quicker than they could pull a trigger! This incident proves a serious lack of discipline in the police force. We need tougher training and harsh punishments for cowardice. And while we're at it, we'll need to raise recruitment numbers to account for casu—uh, turnover."
Outcome
@@DEMONYM_ADJECTIVE@@ police can kill a man in over 700 ways (and that's just with their bare hands)
Last edited by Merconitonitopia on Tue Jul 13, 2021 3:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Bears Armed
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bears Armed » Mon Jul 05, 2021 1:47 am

In clause 3, shouldn't that be "casu-" rather than "caus-" ?
Last edited by Bears Armed on Mon Jul 05, 2021 1:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Merconitonitopia
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Founded: Jul 29, 2013
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Merconitonitopia » Mon Jul 05, 2021 3:14 am

Bears Armed wrote:In clause 3, shouldn't that be "casu-" rather than "caus-" ?

Aye, it should. Thanks.

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 28, 2021 4:09 am

Interesting premise, though I think it's worth looking at different reasonable approaches.

I'd structure this more as:

1) cops need guns, to deal with criminals with guns.
2) not all cops need guns, just specialised armed response units.
3) cops don't need guns, cops need training in de-escalation and non-violent resolutions.
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Sacara
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Capitalist Paradise

Postby Sacara » Thu Jul 29, 2021 7:42 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I'd structure this more as:

1) cops need guns, to deal with criminals with guns.
2) not all cops need guns, just specialised armed response units.
3) cops don't need guns, cops need training in de-escalation and non-violent resolutions.
I like this format better than the way it is currently written; however, if I were writing this, I would switch options two and three around.
Merconitonitopia wrote:Title
Coppers 'Armless Against Wrong'uns

The issue
A police raid on a group suspected of illegally keeping firearms quickly turned into a hostage situation when the police—who had no arms of their own—found themselves severely outgunned.
I would recommend changing 'keeping' to 'owning', and what about "who had no arms other than the ones attached to their body"? Just me thinking out loud on that one.
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