[SUBMITTED][ISSUE CONTEST ENTRY] Two Sides of a Coin

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

I'm very new to writing issues, but hopefully this one is better than my last one, especially as I think I've found a more unique scenario. It's based on the American 1933 double eagle coin, with many references to it throughout. I had a very hard time making it humorous though, suggestions about that would be greatly appreciated! Making it an issue contest entry because why not? Might get lucky.

Note: current draft was done on a mobile device. If autocorrect has done something stupid, please point it out.

Current draft:

Validity: Picked 343.1

Description:
Following the abolition of the penny, millions of this year's pennies were sent to be melted down as a result. However, an unknown employee working at the @@CAPITAL@@ Mint managed to smuggle several of the coins out of the facility, saving them from destruction and making them extremely rare. Many had worked their way into the hands of collectors before the incident became publicly known.

[Option 1] "We made the change to abolish the penny because it costs nearly twice its value to make!" proclaims mint superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@, quite upset by the theft. "The stolen coins should be seized and returned to the mint so they can be destroyed, like they should've been in the first place." @@HE@@ shuffles through a binder and pulls out a paper with auction records, pointing to a particular sale. "And I think I know where to start looking."

[Effect]: people asking a penny for another's thoughts usually draws the eyes of the Secret Service

[Option 2] Museum donor @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Smith makes @@HIS@@ way to your desk, carrying an odd box. "I agree that they should be recovered, but destroying them makes no cents! These unique coins should be placed in museums alongside @@NAME@@'s other numismatic artifacts. @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ and tourists alike would love to see coins in the nation's museums." @@HE@@ opens the box and takes out an old silver coin from Marche Noir, encapsulated in a plastic slab, then hands it to you.

[Effect]: tourists pay money to see money on display in the nation's museums

[Option 3]: "You can't just take away the coins!" yells shoe designer and collector @@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEMALE@@ Wittman. "I bought one for a huge amount of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@, and the government has no right to take it away! The government should subsidize numismatics by celebrating historic events with special-edition commemorative coins, purchaseable from the @@CAPITAL@@ mint, to turn collecting into a national industry!"

[Effect] @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ are constantly checking their pocket change for rare coins

Fourth draft:

Validity: Picked 343.1 OR 343.3

Description:
Following the abolition of the penny, the millions of pennies minted so far this year were sent to be melted down. However, an unknown mint employee managed to smuggle several of the coins out of the @@CAPITAL@@ mint, saving them from destruction and making the coins very rare. Many worked their way into the hands of collectors before the incident became publicly known.

[Option 1] “We made the change to abolish the penny because it costs nearly twice its value to mint!” proclaims mint inspector @@RANDOMNAME@@, quite upset by the theft. “The stolen coins should be seized and returned to the mint so they can be destroyed, like they should’ve been in the first place.” @@HE@@ shuffles through a binder and pulls out a paper with auction records, pointing to a particular sale. “And I think I know where to start looking.”

[Effect]: the @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ Secret Service is seizing rare pennies

[Option 2]: Museum donor @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Smith makes @@HIS@@ way to your desk, carrying an odd box. “I agree that they should be recovered, but destroying them makes no cents! These unique coins should be placed in museums alongside @@NAME@@’s other numismatic artifacts. @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ and tourists alike would love to see coins in museums.” @@HE@@ opens the box and takes out an old silver coin from Marche Noir, encapsulated in a plastic slab, and hands it to you.

[Effect]: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ can pay money to see money in the nation’s museums.

[Option 3]: “You can’t just take away the coins!” yells shoe designer and collector @@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEMALE@@ Wittman. “I bought one for seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@, and the government has no right to take it away! We should continue making pennies too, they’re a part of our cultural heritage. We could even celebrate historic events with special-edition commemorative coins, purchasable from the @@CAPITAL@@ mint, to turn numismatics into a national industry!”

[Effect]: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ are constantly checking their pocket change for numismatic rarities

[Option 4]: “Whaddaya mean seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@?” groans a grumpy old man sitting outside your office. “That’s noncents! A penny is worth one 100th of a @@CURRENCY@@, who cares when it was made? Mandate that coins are worth what they’re supposed to be worth. This coin is a penny, it’s worth a penny.” The old man gets up and leaves, muttering about how it was in the good ol’ days.

Third draft:

Validity: Picked 343.1 OR 343.3

Description:
Following the abolition of the penny, the millions of pennies minted so far this year were sent to be melted down. However, an unknown mint employee managed to smuggle several of the coins out of the @@CAPITAL@@ mint, saving them from destruction and making the coins very rare. Many worked their way into the hands of collectors before the incident became publicly known.

[Option 1] “We made the change to abolish the penny because it costs nearly twice its value to mint!” proclaims mint inspector @@RANDOMNAME@@, quite upset by the theft. “The stolen coins should be seized and returned to the mint so they can be destroyed, like they should’ve been in the first place.” @@HE@@ then presents a paper with auction records, pointing to a particular sale. “And I think I know where to start looking.”

[Effect]: the @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ Secret Service is seizing rare pennies

[Option 2]: Museum donor @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Smith makes @@HIS@@ way to your desk. “I agree that they should be recovered, but destroying them makes no cents! These unique coins should be placed in museums alongside @@NAME@@’s other numismatic artifacts. @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ and tourists alike would love to see coins in museums.” @@HE@@ hands you an old silver coin from Marche Noir, encapsulated in a plastic slab.

[Effect]: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ can pay money to see money in the nation’s museums.

[Option 3]: “You can’t just take away the coins!” yells shoe designer and collector @@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEMALE@@ Wittman. “I bought one for seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@, and the government has no right to take it away! We should continue making pennies too, they’re a part of our cultural heritage. We could even celebrate historic events with special-edition commemorative coins, purchasable from the @@CAPITAL@@ mint, to turn numismatics into a national industry!”

[Effect]: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ are constantly checking their pocket change for numismatic rarities

[Option 4]: “Whaddaya mean seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@?” groans a grumpy old man sitting outside your office. “That’s noncents! A penny is worth one 100th of a @@CURRENCY@@, who cares when it was made? Mandate that coins are worth what they’re supposed to be worth. This coin is a penny, it’s worth a penny.”

[Effect]: a coin is only worth face value

Second draft:

Validity: Picked 343.1 OR 343.3

Description:
Following the abolition of the penny, the 445,000 pennies minted so far this year were sent to be melted down. However, an unknown mint employee managed to smuggle several of the now very rare coins out of the @@CAPITAL@@ mint. Many worked their way into the hands of collectors before the incident became publicly known.

[Option 1] “These are stolen objects!” proclaims mint inspector @@RANDOMNAME@@, quite upset by the theft. “The stolen coins should be seized and returned to the mint so they can be destroyed, like they should’ve been in the first place.” @@HE@@ then presents a paper with auction records, pointing to a particular sale. “And I think I know where to start looking.”

[Effect]: the @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ Secret Service is seizing rare pennies

[Option 2]: Museum donor @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Smith makes @@HIS@@ way to your desk. “I agree that they should be recovered, but destroying them makes no cents! These unique coins should be placed in museums alongside @@NAME@@’s other numismatic artifacts.” @@HE@@ hands you an old silver coin from Marche Noir, encapsulated in a plastic slab. “@@DENONYMPLURAL@@ and tourists alike would love to see coins in museums.”

[Effect]: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ can pay money to see money in the nation’s museums.

[Option 3]: “You can’t just take away the coins!” yells shoe designer and collector @@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEMALE@@ Wittman. “I bought one for seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@, and the government has no right to take it away! We should continue making pennies too, they’re a part of our cultural heritage. We could even celebrate historic events with special-edition commemorative coins, purchasable from the @@CAPITAL@@ mint, to turn numismatics into a national industry!”

[Effect]: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ are constantly checking their pocket change for numismatic rarities

[Option 4]: “Whaddaya mean seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@?” groans a grumpy old man sitting outside your office. “That’s noncents! A penny is worth one 100th of a @@CURRENCY@@, who cares when it was made? Mandate that coins are worth what they’re supposed to be worth. This coin is a penny, it’s worth a penny.”

[Effect]: a coin is only worth face value

First draft:

Validity: Picked 343.1 OR 343.3

Description:
Following the abolition of the penny, the 445,000 pennies minted so far this year were sent to be melted down. However, an unknown mint employee managed to smuggle several of the now very rare coins out of the @@CAPITAL@@ mint. Many worked their way into the hands of collectors before the incident became publicly known.

[Option 1] “These are stolen objects!” proclaims mint inspector @@RANDOMNAME@@, quite upset by the theft. “The stolen coins should be seized and returned to the mint so they can be destroyed, like they should’ve been in the first place.”

[Effect]: the @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ Secret Service is seizing rare pennies

[Option 2]: Museum donor @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Smith makes @@HIS@@ way to your desk. “I agree that they should be recovered, but why destroy them? These unique coins should be placed in museums alongside @@NAME@@’s other numismatic artifacts.

[Effect]: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ can pay money to see money in the nation’s museums.

[Option 3]: “You can’t just take away the coins!” yells shoe designer and collector @@RANDOMFIRSTNAMEMALE@@ Wietman. “I bought one for seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCY@@s, and the government has no right to take it away! The coins should remain on the open market.”

[Effect]: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ are constantly checking their pocket change for numismatic rarities

[Option 4] “There’s enough of the coins to make everyone happy,” says your Minister of Compromise. “One for the museums, one for the market, and destroy the rest.”

[Effect]: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ are constantly checking their pocket change for numismatic rarities

[Option 5]: “Whaddaya mean seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCY@@s?” groans a grumpy old man. “A penny is worth one 100th of a @@CURRENCY@@, who cares when it was made?”

[Effect]: a coin is only worth face value

References to the 1933 double eagle:

445,000 coins was the mintage of the 1933 double eagle. The museum donor's last name being Smith references that one of the coins is in the hands of the Smithsonian Institution. Wietman is a reference to Weitzman, the last name of the person who owns the only legal 1933 double eagle.

Problems I currently see with the draft:
-Could use more humor
-Are the options at an adequate length?
-Do the options get their points across effectively?

Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated! I want to make this draft the best it can be.

[Ko-oren]

-Lacks humor
-> the options are pretty short. You could insert a few quips here and there that underlines the argument.

-Options 4 and 5 have the same effect line
-> I think that happens sometimes, but you've got plenty of time to think of a different one.

-@@CURRENCY@@s probably isn't the right way to represent the plural form of the currency
-> that's why there is @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@

-Is option 4 necessary?
-> It's not exactly the same as the dismiss button, so there's a place for it. An issue with 5 options is a lot though.

-Is this an issue that would realistically end up on @@LEADER@@'s desk?
-> I think it could, why not? If you want your argument for why this is important to @@LEADER@@ to be stronger, you can always change the description slightly.

[Electrum]

Yeah, there are too many options and they're all pretty short. I recommend just condensing this down to three or four, like an earlier draft I saw on these forums on error stamps.

Option 4 is not necessary. It's basically Option 2 but with a coin for leader, which doesn't seem necessary for an additional option. In saying that, Option 2 doesn't seem necessary either -- if the pennies did have historical importance, I'm sure the government can hand some of the seized coins over in Option 1, or why can't the museum exhibit the pennies from the past?

Option 5 doesn't suggest anything for the @@LEADER@@ to do.

What about another option to remake the penny again? We need a abolish the penny reversal, and it's what the USPS did for a famous rare stamp error.

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

I've made some edits following the feedback. Option 4 has been removed, and the options have been made longer, with more defined purposes. The new option 4 (previously option 5) now asks the leader to mandate that coins are only worth their face value. Option 3 reinstates the penny and better presents itself as the "economy option". Thank you for the feedback!

[Czechostan]

As a coin collector myself, I really like this issue.

Some big things:

As others have pointed out, the options are short. Option 1 ought to have some explanation as to why @@NAME@@ is destroying the pennies. Option 2 ought to explain what's so special about the last 445,000 pennies (or whatever number) that none should be destroyed. And so on.

The options also could use some humor. As a suggestion, you might want to flip the final two lines in your second option. You could have the option end with the museum donor handing @@LEADER@@ a coin, but there's something quirky about coin.

Some nitpicky things:

I get that the 445,000 number is a reference to the double eagle, but for a nation of 17 bil like myself, we'd be minting a lot more than that. So I think you can omit that number from the description.

You make the cents-sense pun twice. I think you can change up your puns. (sorry, I had to)

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

As others have pointed out, the options are short.

I used inspect on a regular issue to better visualize the length of the options, and they seem to be nearly good in length. I'll see about adding another sentence to options 1 and 2. Option 3 is probably long enough, and option 4 could use 2 more sentences (or perhaps a long one).

Option 1 ought to have some explanation as to why @@NAME@@ is destroying the pennies

Added.

Option 2 ought to explain what's so special about the last 445,000 pennies (or whatever number) that none should be destroyed. And so on.

The idea was that all the coins were melted except the ones smuggled out of the mint. I've changed the description a bit to make that more clear.

As a suggestion, you might want to flip the final two lines in your second option. You could have the option end with the museum donor handing @@LEADER@@ a coin, but there's something quirky about coin.

Change has been made.

I get that the 445,000 number is a reference to the double eagle, but for a nation of 17 bil like myself, we'd be minting a lot more than that. So I think you can omit that number from the description.

Very good point. Changed it to millions.

You make the cents-sense pun twice. I think you can change up your puns. (sorry, I had to)

I reused the pun because I had a difficult time finding coin puns that could work in the issue. Added the change pun.

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

Made the options a bit longer, this time adding events outside the dialogue.

[Daarwyrth]

Following the abolition of the penny, the millions of pennies minted so far this year were sent to be melted down.

I feel this could be rephrased to flow a little bit better: "Following the abolition of the penny, millions of minted coins were sent to be melted down as a result."

and making the coins very rare

I'd advise to change this to "and making them very rare" to avoid the repetition of "coin".

it costs nearly twice its value to mint!” proclaims mint inspector

I feel you can remove or swap one of the "mint" for something else, otherwise you get the issue of repetition again.

the @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ Secret Service is seizing rare pennies

This effect line could be a lot sharper I think. How about "people asking a penny for another's thoughts usually draws the eyes of the Secret Service".

but destroying them makes no cents!

Haha, I like this one

@@DENONYMPLURAL@@ can pay money to see money in the nation’s museums.

The thought here is good, but might I suggest rephrasing it as: "tourists pay money to see money on display in the nation's museum"

to turn numismatics

My advice would be to try to find another word here, as you use it in the other option as well, and it comes across a little repetitive this way. Could be just me though.

@@DENONYMPLURAL@@ are constantly checking their pocket change for numismatic rarities

The same goes for the use of "numismatic" here. It's a little repetitive.

[Option 4]: “Whaddaya mean seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@?” groans a grumpy old man sitting outside your office. “That’s noncents! A penny is worth one 100th of a @@CURRENCY@@, who cares when it was made? Mandate that coins are worth what they’re supposed to be worth. This coin is a penny, it’s worth a penny.” The old man gets up and leaves, muttering about how it was in the good ol’ days.

You forgot an effect line for option 4.

Overall, I think this issue has promise and I like the way it is written. It can benefit from a little polishing, so feel free to take over my suggestions good start, looking forward to see where you'll take this draft!

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

Thank you very much for the feedback! All suggested changes have been made.

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

Anyone have any more thoughts on this issue idea? Welcoming all input and constructive criticism.

[Candensia]

This has potential, and I have some comments.

millions of minted coins were cent to be melted down

You use this joke here, and then again in option 2, and then again in option 4. I suggest using the proper "sent" here, and keeping the pun in option 2.

"I bought one for seven-and-a-half million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@, and the government has no right to take it away!

Here's the problem with using a specified amount of @@CURRENCY@@. It isn't constant between nations. For example,

7,500,000 Sierra Leonean Leones = 732.13146 US Dollars

Instead of using specified amounts, use generic terms to descibe the level of investment. But be careful, while a coin collector would obviously seek collectible coins, it seems a bit unrealistic to turn around and have the same speaker advocate for the reintroduction of the penny after spending HUGE amounts of money to acquire one. Try and strike a believable balance.

I don't think option 4 is necessary. The problem isn't that the face value of the penny is changing, it's that they're now a rarity, and their value as collectibles has driven up their price. Regardless of whatever their "mandated price" is, collectors will be willing to spend more to acquire their desired item.

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

Thank you for the suggestions! All suggestions have been made, save one. The idea is that all pennies made this year were melted, except the ones smuggled out, but other pennies still exist. I've changed the description to make that more clear. This idea was initially included until someone recommended it to be reworded. I didn't realize it made option 3 do a 180. Thank you very much for pointing out the problem.

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

Update: made a minor change to the description.

Still looking for feedback.

[Australian rePublic]

Ha? When discounting a denomination of currency there's usually weeks of consultation, which would give collectors plenty of time to collect their coins, not to mention that there would be government departments which would preserve it. Unless this was done in the fling of the moment with only a few hours notice, and if the later is the case, then collectors keeping coins would be the least of your problems. Also, why would the government bloody care if some people choose to collect discontinued coins?

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

The description clearly states that the coins were stolen. That's why the government cares. The issue is based on the story of the 1933 double eagle, read its Wikipedia article or something if you don't understand the issue. Additionally, this site has aliens, microchips, and AI personhood. Certainly reality can be stretched a little?

Still looking for actually helpful feedback that doesn't essentially tell me my issue is stupid.

Issue will be submitted at the end of the Issues Contest.

[Australian rePublic]

The description clearly states that the coins were stolen. That's why the government cares. The issue is based on the story of the 1933 double eagle, read its Wikipedia article or something if you don't understand the issue. Additionally, this site has aliens, microchips, and AI personhood. Certainly reality can be stretched a little?

Still looking for actually helpful feedback that doesn't essentially tell me my issue is stupid.

Issue will be submitted at the end of the Issues Contest.

I realise the coins were stolen. My point still stands- who cares. I'm not saying the issue is stupid, sorry if it came across like that, I'm saying we should have a reason to care about stolen coins written into the description. That doesn't make the issue stupid, that makes the issue needing a reason required in the description

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

I realise the coins were stolen. My point still stands- who cares. I'm not saying the issue is stupid, sorry if it came across like that, I'm saying we should have a reason to care about stolen coins written into the description. That doesn't make the issue stupid, that makes the issue needing a reason required in the description

I understand now. The 1933 double eagle, the coin this was based on, was seized because most private ownership of good was banned: the coin itself was illegal to own. That obviously doesn't work here, so I'll see what I can come up with. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Still looking for all the feedback I can get.

Issue will be submitted towards the end of the Issues Contest.

[Numero Capitan]

There are a few technical points that may be worth considering.

Firstly, I think 'the Mint' is a proper noun that should be capitalized - it is the title of a specific organisation.

You say that an 'unknown mint employee' was responsible for stealing the coins but the Mint wouldn't necessarily be responsible for destroying/recycling coins - particularly as neither 343.1 or 343.3 proposes replacing the pennies with a different coin (which could be minted using the same metals). In fact, 343.3 could likely lead to the total closure of the Mint due to the cancellation of physical currency. There is also a plausibility issue here as Mint's are subject to extremely high levels of security as many are responsible for bullion too (the US Mint has its own police force) and the idea of an employee stealing coins from the Mint itself is very unlikely. It may be better to make this the fault of a private contractor (that might even throw up another issue option too). There's also another repetition issue in the second sentence that could be resolved from a revision that removes the Mint from this scenario.

Option 1 you refer to a mint inspector, works fine in laymen's terms if we want to be really 'on the money' then minted coins are usually inspected by a trial/juror/jurist (UK + Commonwealth) or Commission/Judge/Commissioner (US) or assayer rather than an 'inspector'. You could use another Mint employee (or former employee) such as a Mint superintendent if you want to avoid that extremely nit-picky general point.

[Fauxia]

I feel like the guy who smuggled the pennies should say something about valuable collectors' items, maybe that they can stay without being issued because they in fact will cost less to mint than they will be worth since they are rare? Just a thought, that character seems semi important to the issue but no one really sticks up for him.

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

I've updated the draft to include most of Numero Capitan's suggestions. The second sentence has been reworded to correct the repetition of "mint", and option 3 has been slightly reworded so it doesn't appear to do a 180. Additionally, the validity has been changed to just be triggered by 343.1. As for Fauxia's suggestion, I'm hesitant to add another option, as many people have told me to remove options, plus I feel it will be too similar to option 3. Going to add a poll for how ready the issue is to be submitted.

[The Ankhalic Vaspriot]

There's not much time left in the Issues Contest so I'm moving this to last call. I will submit early provided I do not receive more feedback.