[DRAFT] Taking Out the Trash

[Cretox State]

Taking out the Trash

Validity: All.

Description
Ridiculously bumbling, dangerously inept, and surrounded by political heavyweights: your Deputy Minister of Sanitation and Human Infrastructure Technologies has managed to both consistently sabotage your government and be next to impossible for your loyal associates to get rid of. The problem came to a head during a state dinner last night, when he "accidentally" doused you with a glass of vintage jus de pomme.

Option 1
"People love transparency," hisses your Minister of Whispers in an off-the-books meeting. "If you start a massive government transparency and accountability initiative, that'd be the perfect cover to release records that just so happen to show our good friend intentionally sabotaging your administration. Then his buddies are sure to abandon him, and the public will practically be screaming for his resignation."

Effect: government officials who talk in their sleep wake up to find local newspapers calling them insane

Option 2
"The problem with that is that it could expose our own dirty secrets," says your Minister of Integrity, who's rumored to keep a skeleton in his closet for good luck. "The safest way to handle this is if he resigns himself. So that's what we'll do- we'll make his job such a nightmare that he won't want to keep it. Have you ever used superglue before?"

Effect: recent developments in the Sanitation Ministry have left a bad stench in the halls of government

Option 3
"Why don't you just talk to him?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Sanitation and Human Infrastructure Technologies and one of your biggest rivals. "Maybe that potato incident was just an accident. Maybe he didn't mean to burn that important treaty. You won't know unless you sit down and have a candid discussion about your observations. If you don't like what he says, you should do the honest thing and just fire him openly."

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s bodyguards chase down assassins to offer them dinner invitations

Option 4
"It would be such a shame if an unfortunate accident befell the poor Deputy Minister," suggests secret agent Junk Bonds, who was declared dead months ago. "I heard that you're making a big speech at Violetstone National Park in a few weeks. Maybe you could give the speech overlooking the active volcano there. It would be so unfortunate if part of the platform collapsed as he's standing on it, don't you think?"

Effect: government officials are pumiced for poor performance

[Cretox State]

Taking out the Trash

Validity: All.

Description
Your Sanitation Minister's long history of attempting to undermine you came to a head during a state dinner last night, where he "accidentally" doused you with a glass of vintage jus de pomme. However, the Minister's political connections make his removal from office rather difficult.

Option 1
"People love transparency," hisses your Minister of Whispers in an off-the-books meeting. "If you start a massive government transparency and accountability initiative, that'd be the perfect cover to release records that just so happen to show our good friend sabotaging your administration. Then the public will practically be screaming for his resignation."

Effect: government officials who talk in their sleep wake up to find local newspapers calling them insane

Option 2
"The problem with that is that it could expose our own dirty secrets," says your Minister of Integrity, who is rumored to keep a skeleton in his closet for good luck. "The safest way to handle this is if he resigns himself. So that's what we'll do- we'll make his job such a nightmare that he won't want to keep it. Have you ever used superglue before?"

Effect: recent developments in the Sanitation Ministry have left a bad stench in the halls of government

Option 3
"Why don't you just talk to him?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, your biggest rival's personal assistant. "Maybe that potato incident was just an accident. Maybe he didn't mean to burn that press briefing while laughing at you. You won't know unless you just sit down and have a candid discussion about your observations. Open discourse is always better than rumors and conjecture, after all."

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s bodyguards chase down assassins to offer them dinner invitations

Option 4
"It would be such a shame if an unfortunate accident befell the poor Minister," suggests secret agent Junk Bonds, who was declared dead months ago. "I heard that you're making a speech at Violetstone National Park in a few weeks. Maybe you could give the speech overlooking the active volcano there. It would be so unfortunate if a part of the platform collapsed as he's standing on it, don't you think?"

Effect: government officials are pumiced for poor performance

[Daarwyrth]

Sinister, I like it. There is one concern I have though.

The issue premise is different, yet I feel it comes a little close to Issue #913 "Couped Up", which also deals with a minister that you can't agree with. It's true that the setting of 913 is distinct from your issue draft here, but the core of the idea seems to get a little close.

Yet admittedly, I do really like the way this draft is written, and, imo, the overlap is small enough for both to coexist. Just wanted to make you aware of 913

[USS Monitor]

Sinister, I like it. There is one concern I have though.

The issue premise is different, yet I feel it comes a little close to Issue #913 "Couped Up", which also deals with a minister that you can't agree with. It's true that the setting of 913 is distinct from your issue draft here, but the core of the idea seems to get a little close.

Yet admittedly, I do really like the way this draft is written, and, imo, the overlap is small enough for both to coexist. Just wanted to make you aware of 913

I think "your minister was plotting an actual coup" and "your minister is annoying and hard to get rid of" are different enough. If anything, you could continue with this draft, but make it more ambiguous whether the minister is undermining you intentionally or if he is just not the sharpest tool in the shed.

[Sacara]

Hi Cretox! I thoroughly enjoyed this draft after reading through it.

My only concern is the second sentence of the description. It is assumed that @@LEADER@@ has the capacity to do, well, basically anything. I love the premise of the issue, but I don't like the idea of giving the notion that there are things @@LEADER@@ cannot do.

Also, I hate to say it, but I had to google what jus de pomme is.

[Australian rePublic]

Wouldn't a sanitation commissioner be a local government ring? Even in nations with the most centralised government s imaginable, I'd imagine that even they would relegate garbage collection to some lower level of authority rather than the national government. That, unless of coarse, nation is a city state

[Cretox State]

Hi Cretox! I thoroughly enjoyed this draft after reading through it.

My only concern is the second sentence of the description. It is assumed that @@LEADER@@ has the capacity to do, well, basically anything. I love the premise of the issue, but I don't like the idea of giving the notion that there are things @@LEADER@@ cannot do.

Also, I hate to say it, but I had to google what jus de pomme is.

I'm almost a year late, but thanks! I changed the description to say that your underlings are the ones struggling to get rid of him, not necessarily you. The new description plus option 3 should now also imply that the problem isn't so much that you can't get rid of him, just that it may be politically costly for you to do so directly.

I think "your minister was plotting an actual coup" and "your minister is annoying and hard to get rid of" are different enough. If anything, you could continue with this draft, but make it more ambiguous whether the minister is undermining you intentionally or if he is just not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Good point. The new draft should take care of that.

Wouldn't a sanitation commissioner be a local government ring? Even in nations with the most centralised government s imaginable, I'd imagine that even they would relegate garbage collection to some lower level of authority rather than the national government. That, unless of coarse, nation is a city state

Existing issues have more wacky minister positions than I can count, and India has a Ministry of Drinking Water and Sanitation. On the other hand, "Sanitation and Human Infrastructure Technologies" is both more descriptive and makes for a funny acronym.