[R] Actionable?

[Lady Victory]

A user misgendered me, possibly deliberately, by calling me "chap" (British slang for a boy/man, if you didn't know):

This thread is a fucking mess.

these things usually are chap.

I then corrected him, assuming he missed that little important bit in my signature:

these things usually are chap.

"She/Her"

I'm not a "chap".

And if he had simply left it alone then and there I could've dropped the issue entirely, but instead he decided to plead innocence:

"She/Her"

I'm not a "chap".

i call people chap regardless of their biological or perceived gender.

But thats a debate that im not allowed to have because i have diseenting views

The excuse seems pretty flimsy. I know for a fact "dude", although often reserved exclusively for men, can be used for anyone regardless of sex or gender, plenty of people do and this is becoming increasingly common. But as far as I know "chap" is very much still a gendered term regardless of how you, personally, utilize it and that this is just his way of being snide (the winking smiley, which seems rather smug, lends credence to this theory IMO). I then called him out on what I believe to have been him just playing dumb:

i call people chap regardless of their biological or perceived gender.

But thats a debate that im not allowed to have because i have diseenting views

I really don't care. "Chap" is not gender-neutral. Don't play coy.

After which, he decided to double-down (again with a smiley which, again, seems smug and mocking):

I really don't care. "Chap" is not gender-neutral. Don't play coy.

nor do i care

I didn't think it was intentional at first but with his other posts coming off as having a condescending/mocking tone I believe he was intentionally misgendering me and IIRC that is against the rules as it constitutes trolling. At the very least it seems like he was baiting me. I've already Foe Listed him, but I'd like to see what a mod thinks about this exchange. I make it no secret I'm a transwoman now and if that upsets some random stranger on the Internet to the point they can't just nod and move along but have to try and sneak in subtle jabs at me and my gender identity then that seems like a them problem. He didn't have to respond to me at all, or call me "chap", but he did and after admitting he doesn't approve of my lifestyle choices it feels like it was intentional from the beginning.

For the record, I would have lodged a report sooner but I was on my phone earlier when this exchange occurred during my lunch break and trying to highlight, copy, and paste with my phone is an uphill battle because it never wants to do any of those things.

As I said: I've already Foe Listed him so this won't happen again in the future but I'd still like a mod to look into this because I do believe it's actionable.

[Uzbekstaland]

You cant expect everyone to call you by your pronouns, especially online, i dont see a reason for a report.


Especially because they didn't call you "Chap" in a gender descriptive way.


Although chap was used to address males by now people use it females and LGBTQ+

[Vrakenalk]

I despise people like that... hope it never happens again, #TransRights

[Laka Strolistandiler]

/notamod
I personally don’t think that misgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.

[Al-Jaqquar]

/notamod

I think we all should stop posting and wait for an actual mod response.

[Lady Victory]

/notamod
I personally don’t think that migsgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.

I distinctly recall being warned for deliberately misgendering another user back when I was more transphobic and before I knew I was trans myself.

So unless the rules have changed or I'm misremembering, deliberately misgendering someone is an offense.

[Santheres]

You cant expect everyone to call you by your pronouns, especially online, i dont see a reason for a report.

Yes you can.

Especially because they didn't call you "Chap" in a gender descriptive way.

She asked them politely not to. Continuing after that is most certainly making a statement to that effect.

Also an obligatory: you are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful

I despise people like that... hope it never happens again, #TransRights

You are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful.

/notamod
I personally don’t think that misgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.

You are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful. You are also wrong.

/notamod

I think we all should stop posting and wait for an actual mod response.

Thank you for trying, however you are not needed to manage the board.

/notamod
I personally don’t think that migsgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.

I distinctly recall being warned for deliberately misgendering another user back when I was more transphobic and before I knew I was trans myself.

So unless the rules have changed or I'm misremembering, deliberately misgendering someone is an offense.

Correct, as such a warning has been applied.

I also would have given them the benefit of the doubt but the insistence that they don't care and that's all that matters makes it rather clear.

[Lady Victory]

You cant expect everyone to call you by your pronouns, especially online, i dont see a reason for a report.

Yes you can.

Especially because they didn't call you "Chap" in a gender descriptive way.

She asked them politely not to. Continuing after that is most certainly making a statement to that effect.

Also an obligatory: you are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful

I despise people like that... hope it never happens again, #TransRights

You are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful.

/notamod
I personally don’t think that misgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.

You are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful. You are also wrong.

/notamod

I think we all should stop posting and wait for an actual mod response.

Thank you for trying, however you are not needed to manage the board.

I distinctly recall being warned for deliberately misgendering another user back when I was more transphobic and before I knew I was trans myself.

So unless the rules have changed or I'm misremembering, deliberately misgendering someone is an offense.

Correct, as such a warning has been applied.

I also would have given them the benefit of the doubt but the insistence that they don't care and that's all that matters makes it rather clear.

Thanks, Santh!

*leaves pizza*