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[R] Actionable?

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Lady Victory
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Founded: Apr 27, 2021
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[R] Actionable?

Postby Lady Victory » Thu May 06, 2021 2:54 pm

A user misgendered me, possibly deliberately, by calling me "chap" (British slang for a boy/man, if you didn't know):

The Nippon Teikoku wrote:
Lady Victory wrote:This thread is a fucking mess.

these things usually are chap.


I then corrected him, assuming he missed that little important bit in my signature:

Lady Victory wrote:
The Nippon Teikoku wrote:these things usually are chap.


"She/Her"

I'm not a "chap".


And if he had simply left it alone then and there I could've dropped the issue entirely, but instead he decided to plead innocence:

The Nippon Teikoku wrote:
Lady Victory wrote:
"She/Her"

I'm not a "chap".


i call people chap regardless of their biological or perceived gender.

But thats a debate that im not allowed to have because i have diseenting views ;)


The excuse seems pretty flimsy. I know for a fact "dude", although often reserved exclusively for men, can be used for anyone regardless of sex or gender, plenty of people do and this is becoming increasingly common. But as far as I know "chap" is very much still a gendered term regardless of how you, personally, utilize it and that this is just his way of being snide (the winking smiley, which seems rather smug, lends credence to this theory IMO). I then called him out on what I believe to have been him just playing dumb:

Lady Victory wrote:
The Nippon Teikoku wrote:
i call people chap regardless of their biological or perceived gender.

But thats a debate that im not allowed to have because i have diseenting views ;)


I really don't care. "Chap" is not gender-neutral. Don't play coy.


After which, he decided to double-down (again with a smiley which, again, seems smug and mocking):

The Nippon Teikoku wrote:
Lady Victory wrote:
I really don't care. "Chap" is not gender-neutral. Don't play coy.


nor do i care :)


I didn't think it was intentional at first but with his other posts coming off as having a condescending/mocking tone I believe he was intentionally misgendering me and IIRC that is against the rules as it constitutes trolling. At the very least it seems like he was baiting me. I've already Foe Listed him, but I'd like to see what a mod thinks about this exchange. I make it no secret I'm a transwoman now and if that upsets some random stranger on the Internet to the point they can't just nod and move along but have to try and sneak in subtle jabs at me and my gender identity then that seems like a them problem. He didn't have to respond to me at all, or call me "chap", but he did and after admitting he doesn't approve of my lifestyle choices it feels like it was intentional from the beginning.

For the record, I would have lodged a report sooner but I was on my phone earlier when this exchange occurred during my lunch break and trying to highlight, copy, and paste with my phone is an uphill battle because it never wants to do any of those things.

As I said: I've already Foe Listed him so this won't happen again in the future but I'd still like a mod to look into this because I do believe it's actionable.
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Uzbekstaland
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Founded: Jan 26, 2021
Moralistic Democracy

Postby Uzbekstaland » Thu May 06, 2021 2:58 pm

You cant expect everyone to call you by your pronouns, especially online, i dont see a reason for a report.


Especially because they didn't call you "Chap" in a gender descriptive way.


Although chap was used to address males by now people use it females and LGBTQ+
Last edited by Uzbekstaland on Thu May 06, 2021 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Vrakenalk
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Posts: 13
Founded: Feb 22, 2021
Corporate Police State

Postby Vrakenalk » Thu May 06, 2021 2:58 pm

I despise people like that... hope it never happens again, #TransRights
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Laka Strolistandiler
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Founded: Jul 14, 2018
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Postby Laka Strolistandiler » Thu May 06, 2021 2:59 pm

/notamod
I personally don’t think that misgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.
Last edited by Laka Strolistandiler on Thu May 06, 2021 3:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Al-Jaqquar
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Posts: 2
Founded: May 06, 2021
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Al-Jaqquar » Thu May 06, 2021 3:01 pm

/notamod

I think we all should stop posting and wait for an actual mod response.

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Lady Victory
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Posts: 1042
Founded: Apr 27, 2021
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Lady Victory » Thu May 06, 2021 3:05 pm

Laka Strolistandiler wrote:/notamod
I personally don’t think that migsgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.


I distinctly recall being warned for deliberately misgendering another user back when I was more transphobic and before I knew I was trans myself.

So unless the rules have changed or I'm misremembering, deliberately misgendering someone is an offense.
☆ American Patriot ☆ Civic NationalistDefensive Democrat ☆ Transwoman ☆ Christian ☆
"My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right."


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She/Her - Call me LV
Rojava and Atheris Did Nothing Wrong

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Santheres
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Posts: 2769
Founded: Apr 29, 2005
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Santheres » Thu May 06, 2021 8:53 pm

Uzbekstaland wrote:You cant expect everyone to call you by your pronouns, especially online, i dont see a reason for a report.


Yes you can.

Especially because they didn't call you "Chap" in a gender descriptive way.


She asked them politely not to. Continuing after that is most certainly making a statement to that effect.

Also an obligatory: you are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful


Vrakenalk wrote:I despise people like that... hope it never happens again, #TransRights


You are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful.

Laka Strolistandiler wrote:/notamod
I personally don’t think that misgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.


You are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful. You are also wrong.


Al-Jaqquar wrote:/notamod

I think we all should stop posting and wait for an actual mod response.


Thank you for trying, however you are not needed to manage the board.


Lady Victory wrote:
Laka Strolistandiler wrote:/notamod
I personally don’t think that migsgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.


I distinctly recall being warned for deliberately misgendering another user back when I was more transphobic and before I knew I was trans myself.

So unless the rules have changed or I'm misremembering, deliberately misgendering someone is an offense.


Correct, as such a warning has been applied.

I also would have given them the benefit of the doubt but the insistence that they don't care and that's all that matters makes it rather clear.
Last edited by Santheres on Thu May 06, 2021 8:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Lady Victory
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Posts: 1042
Founded: Apr 27, 2021
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Lady Victory » Fri May 07, 2021 6:54 am

Santheres wrote:
Uzbekstaland wrote:You cant expect everyone to call you by your pronouns, especially online, i dont see a reason for a report.


Yes you can.

Especially because they didn't call you "Chap" in a gender descriptive way.


She asked them politely not to. Continuing after that is most certainly making a statement to that effect.

Also an obligatory: you are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful


Vrakenalk wrote:I despise people like that... hope it never happens again, #TransRights


You are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful.

Laka Strolistandiler wrote:/notamod
I personally don’t think that misgendering someone is an offense. Especially taking into consideration the fact that he basically said he didn’t care about your pronouns.


You are not part of this report, and your opinion is neither wanted nor helpful. You are also wrong.


Al-Jaqquar wrote:/notamod

I think we all should stop posting and wait for an actual mod response.


Thank you for trying, however you are not needed to manage the board.


Lady Victory wrote:
I distinctly recall being warned for deliberately misgendering another user back when I was more transphobic and before I knew I was trans myself.

So unless the rules have changed or I'm misremembering, deliberately misgendering someone is an offense.


Correct, as such a warning has been applied.

I also would have given them the benefit of the doubt but the insistence that they don't care and that's all that matters makes it rather clear.


Thanks, Santh!

*leaves pizza*
☆ American Patriot ☆ Civic NationalistDefensive Democrat ☆ Transwoman ☆ Christian ☆
"My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right."


Metal is For Everyone!
She/Her - Call me LV
Rojava and Atheris Did Nothing Wrong

The User Formerly Known as Trollzyn the Infinite


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