911 what's your not emergency?

[Glorious Freedonia]

Just try to blend in.

911, I balded myself while cutting my hair. All the wig shops are closed and I am allergic to hats.

[Silliy]

skill issue.

911? Yes, there's a weirdly lanky man with no face in my home and I think it's impersonating my friend! I can hear him behind my door, I'm scared!

[0rganization]

Just open the door, sir.

Hello, 911, I'm in this person's home and he's scared.

[Anexora]

Get into his bed and comfort him until the fright stops.
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911, I was just assaulted by a repulsive plate of Sashimi Sushi

[Exwhylia]

Fight back against your aquatic overlords without mercy, we cannot assist you in this battle.

Help! My bird is being too snuggly and I can't get anything done!

[IdontCare]

turn into a dog and chase it away!

help! every time I try to get >1500 on the SAT my brain locks up, fries up, and I can't do anything! It's the one thing preventing me from getting at least a 1500, let alone a 1600!

[Glorious Freedonia]

Quit trying!

911, I cannot do tricks on a scooter anywhere near as well as the guys who make videos about it on YouTube!

[IdontCare]

Let me transfer you to someone who can help. *hangs up*

911, this F7 thread is losing traction, what do we do?!

[Sheizou]

More bots!

911, please help, the wasp I've kept in my room for 8 hours is dying

[New Kiwi Repupirikana]

Bozo, that’s for animal control

911 please help they are playing horrible music at my funeral

[IdontCare]

Alright, I’m sending in a new DJ, and I’m also going to notify the people that you’re being buried alive. If you’re actually dead, say flanksteak. By saying the activation word, you agree to be zapped by the Ghostbusters

911, my hands are high; my feet are low; and I can't stop doing the popsico!

Edit: what was that go noodle video everyone in elementary school saw called again?

Edit 2: spoiler tags

[Pip Plash]

Then do another dance pose.

911, my cobra has started to smash everything in my house!

[IdontCare]

I’m sending in someone who can get the cobra to dance.

911, I can’t stop asking and worrying about the SAT!

[New Crywyzyxycynya]

Oh man. Me too! What do you think you'll get on it? What if you fill out the bubbles wrong so you get all the answers wrong even though you knew all the questions? AAAH!!!

911! I have been fired from my job at the calendar factory! What should I do?

[Vive Salem]

Sit quietly.

911!My hair got burnt by a lawnmower!

[Authancorpmildru]

Including:
Meaning
Specifications
History
Construction sheet
Design

[IdontCare]

Skipping the flag request, we respond to emergencies only here!

_______________________________________________________

Get some bandages and a wig.

Help, the New York City MTA has turned into a tax money black hole when I was riding the bus! (If you know, you know.)

[Glorious Freedonia]

We got you! I called the legislature and they are going to raise everyone's taxes 100% to pay for the MTA. Enjoy having no after tax dollars.

911, My Wife wants to talk to me about her feelings and stuff. Can you put her on mute for me?

[Experina]

I guess you should for a moment, know her a bit, you don't want your relationship to be destroyed, then put her on mute.

911, I can't sleep!!

[Landbang Rkipo Islands]

Come over to the station and ill make you experience endless sleep

911! I can't remember where I put my phone!

[Vive Salem]

Check on the Moon.Might be the work of the aliens again.


911!My dog ate my homework which ate my cereal!

[Barredo]

No way, some random cereal ate my dog today! maybe he was lashing his revenge out on the homework?

911! I was just on my security cams and i see a demented version of my mother with long arms and a distorted face!

[IdontCare]

Now that's something that I'm going to have to send the WA Security Council forces to deal with. Give us three days.

Help, I'm stuck in this glass chamber and this giant robot wants to suffocate me with neurotoxin! (If you know, you definitely know.)

[The Dark Aether]

Throw the robot into space

911 HELP I AM OBSESSING OVER SERIAL DESIGNATION N

[Boainn BEZY]

You put a block of ice on your head and you will feel better due the the ice magic.
_______________________________________________________
911 help there's people trying to teach me life lessons.