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Researcher: Falling sperm counts threaten human survival

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What should be done?

Forget climate change and COVID, we need scientists to make better sperm!
5
6%
Colonize Mars
12
13%
Abolish plastic
10
11%
Abolish the obese
4
4%
Encourage Proud Boys to masturbate more often (seriously, it would take the edge off)
20
22%
Clone babies
5
6%
Clone babies, but only girls
2
2%
Build human-like androids
4
4%
Call the Hoff!
10
11%
Nothing, this is the best news I've heard all year
18
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Total votes : 90
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Postauthoritarian America
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Researcher: Falling sperm counts threaten human survival

Postby Postauthoritarian America » Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:15 pm

According to a researcher with the Icahn School of Medicine at New York's Mt. Sinai Hospital, median human sperm counts are projected to fall to zero -- zip -- nada -- by 2045. She points the finger at pthalates and poor health caused by obesity, inter alia.

Personally, this is the best news I've heard since the lockdown. imo the destruction of the human race would finish the farce and make room for a superior form of life on this, the only planet known to be able to support it. Intelligent canines would be my first choice, but I'd settle for cockroaches.

That being said, other options for whipping this sticky situation exist, from intense scientific research to banning plastics and shaming fat people to cloning. Surely we on NSG, uniquely placed as we are to discuss and arrive at solutions to all the world's ills, could come up with the best answer.

Go for it.
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Rusozak
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Postby Rusozak » Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:45 pm

Maybe it's a good thing? We have, what, a couple decades before we have to start manually lowering the global population to survive? The current rate of population growth is unsustainable, and fewer births is a lot better than having to start playing the population lottery.
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Ethel mermania
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Postby Ethel mermania » Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:47 pm

Clearly David Hasselhoff is needed to help increase the virility of all males

Bring back baywatch!

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B o r o v a n
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Postby B o r o v a n » Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:49 pm

So much for capitalism. Is it even possible to make products without phthalates?

Either way humans can still procreate, sperm count will not go to zero, the system always generates some sperm for reproduction it's just that it'll be less. So it'll be less effective and difficult to procreate.
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Borderlands of Rojava
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Postby Borderlands of Rojava » Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:52 pm

Tfw "Children of Men" is actually gonna happen.

So this is how this species goes extinct? Unless some isolated tribes somewhere like the Andaman islands avoided this dark fate.
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Saiwania
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Postby Saiwania » Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:56 pm

Certain medical clinics are able to artificially create sperm from male DNA from what I've heard. If not, it can be collected ahead of time. Pregnancies can still happen, its just that perhaps it'll require the artificial method in a lab, rather than the natural methods which will be unreliable.
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Neanderthaland
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Postby Neanderthaland » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:04 pm

This stork is really delicious guys.
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Kowani
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Postby Kowani » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:06 pm

Seize the means of reproduction!
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Neanderthaland
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Postby Neanderthaland » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:07 pm

Kowani wrote:Seize the means of reproduction!

Don't have to ask me twice.
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Monsone
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Postby Monsone » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:07 pm

I don't think humanity will go extinct because of lower sperm counts. People will simply resort to medical aid in improving their sperm counts, this is something already being done for people who struggle with infertility, and is likely only to get more widespread. And worst comes to worst, assisted reproduction is going to become way, way more common.

All this means that having children is going to be way more expensive.
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Borderlands of Rojava
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Postby Borderlands of Rojava » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:09 pm

This makes me feel so sick. What the actual hell is happening to the world?
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Kiu Ghesik
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Postby Kiu Ghesik » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:12 pm

Image
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The Marlborough
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Postby The Marlborough » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:13 pm

1) This applies to the median Western man. Not globally and certainly doesn't mean there wont be men with healthy sperm counts or even have polyzoospermia within the Western world.
2) It's extrapolating from a previous analysis from nearly a decade ago which the author herself noted is always risky.
Last edited by The Marlborough on Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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ImperialRussia
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Postby ImperialRussia » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:15 pm

Natural sex is the only solution most of these ways to reproduce. These ways to reproduce genetic Mutations that people don’t wish to on their children when they want sperm to inject them selves with.
Last edited by ImperialRussia on Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Picairn
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Postby Picairn » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:16 pm

Tfw you are extrapolating.
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Ethel mermania
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Postby Ethel mermania » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:17 pm

Kowani wrote:Seize the means of reproduction!


Owies
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Atheris
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Postby Atheris » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:19 pm

Seize the means of repro- FUCK, KOWANI MADE THAT JOKE! *kicks trash can*
Last edited by Atheris on Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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The Marlborough
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Postby The Marlborough » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:20 pm

Borderlands of Rojava wrote:This makes me feel so sick. What the actual hell is happening to the world?

Nothing, it's probably not even the first time we've seen fallen sperm counts within societies. In ancient Rome fertility issues were something that plagued the empire for a long time and some of it was probably related to sperm counts I'd reckon.

Not to mention a lot of this can be alleviated to some extent through increasing exercise rates and improved diets.
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ImperialRussia
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Postby ImperialRussia » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:22 pm

Stop smoking and drugs that harm your sperm counts
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Atheris
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Postby Atheris » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:31 pm

ImperialRussia wrote:Stop smoking and drugs that harm your sperm counts

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Reploid Productions
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Postby Reploid Productions » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:34 pm

Kowani wrote:Seize the means of reproduction!

Just wash up when you're done.
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Kowani
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Postby Kowani » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:37 pm

Neanderthaland wrote:
Kowani wrote:Seize the means of reproduction!

Don't have to ask me twice.

I think your people not doing that may have been a problem

Atheris wrote:Seize the means of repro- FUCK, KOWANI MADE THAT JOKE! *kicks trash can*

I’m always 3 steps ahead

Reploid Productions wrote:
Kowani wrote:Seize the means of reproduction!

Just wash up when you're done.

Of course
It’s a pandemic
Do I look like a barbarian?
Sex is great. But have you tried data visualizations of partisan spatial segregation?
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ImperialRussia
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Postby ImperialRussia » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:38 pm

Abolish the orgasm to benefit humanity in a humane matter
Last edited by ImperialRussia on Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Atheris
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Postby Atheris » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:40 pm

Kowani wrote:Do I look like a barbarian?

That rhetorical?
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Valentine Z wrote:✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*a m b i e n c e✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*
Kick cancer's ass for me, Owlograd!
this! just! in! the mods miss spam for 20 minutes again, admins shut down forum for 10; cite "b-b-but we're not full time!!!! we just wittle vowunteews" as legal defense!
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Kowani
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Postby Kowani » Fri Feb 26, 2021 7:41 pm

Atheris wrote:
Kowani wrote:Do I look like a barbarian?

That rhetorical?

Yes
Sex is great. But have you tried data visualizations of partisan spatial segregation?
The National Debt is not debt, but merely the sum total, to the penny, of every untaxed dollar in existence since the start of the nation.
Kowáni's big list of sources, Be Kowáni for a day!
Headline of the day: Chicago Police Officer fatally shoots unarmed 13 year old
“Dale limona, mujer, que no hay en la vida ná, como la pena de ser, ciego en Graná”
the white man still cries when you cut down the lynching trees
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