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[DRAFT] Does Eisnerland Need Cultural Sensitivity?

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Baloo Kingdom
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Authoritarian Democracy

[DRAFT] Does Eisnerland Need Cultural Sensitivity?

Postby Baloo Kingdom » Mon Feb 22, 2021 9:47 am

Hello users of the Got Issues Forum! I bring to you my 4th and latest attempt at writing an issue. The issue is pretty sparse as of now, so please feel free to leave any complaints, comments, concerns, or suggestions in the forum. Thanks!

The Issue:

Draft 5

[title] Does Eisnerland Need Cultural Sensitivity?

[desc] Following the opening of Eisner Entreprises’ Eisnerland, some of the park’s themed attractions have been criticized for being both culturally and racially insensitive, the foremost attraction in the matter being Eisnerland’s Paradise Riverboats. Examples of such racial insensitivity include the ride's gruesome depiction of native Bigtopians as savages and the riverboat pilot's scripted tendencies to crack offensive "Bigwig" puns. While visiting the park the unrest is clear.

[validity] Must have received Issue 818 and allowed Eisnerland to be constructed in some form, must have Capitalism installed

[option]"It’s time for Eisnerland to change for the better," chants @@RANDOMNAME@@, vigorously waving @@HIS@@ 'Bigtopian Lives Matter' sign. "Eisnerland’s Paradise Riverboats are blatantly racist and Walter Eisner knows it! I mean, the attraction literally refers to the natives as ‘Bigwigs’ for Violet’s sake! I demand Eisner Entreprises shut down this horrid attraction permanently unless they can replace it with something I would want to show my children."
[effect]anything short of racial colorblindness is prohibited in the Eisnerland Park

[option]"We apologize for any problems you may have with our attraction," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of the various faceless employees of Eisnerland. "Mr. Eisner does not wish to offend anyone, especially those of Bigtopian background. Please, let us mildly alter the Paradise Riverboats, perhaps eliminate some particularly questionable jokes, and tone down on a couple of the native depictions you deem insensitive. Maybe you could overlook this mishap, and allow us to keep this cherished attraction open. Eisnerland would be happy to accommodate you if choose so."
[effect]suspicious amounts of Quickpasses have been arriving at your doorstep lately

[option]"Alter Paradise Riverboats?! You can’t do that!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, with a slew of Eisnerland pins and memorabilia slung across @@HIS@@ body. "The Paradise Riverboats is a classic and iconic attraction! Altering it would destroy my nostalgia- I mean would be disrespecting Walter Eisner's masterpiece! I implore you to dictate that Eisner cannot change the attraction, in fact, I suggest you seize Eisner Entreprises altogether. That'll set a precedent. @@LEADER@@, don’t let them take away my childhood memories!"
[policy]cancels Capitalism policy, installs Socialism policy
[effect]Eisnerland has proudly been renamed to "@@@LEADER@@land"
Last edited by Baloo Kingdom on Thu Feb 25, 2021 6:05 am, edited 11 times in total.
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Drew Durrnil
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Postby Drew Durrnil » Mon Feb 22, 2021 9:49 am

This is so you lmao
Also its a good draft!
The effect line also shouldn't start with the letter "I".
Last edited by Drew Durrnil on Mon Feb 22, 2021 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Baloo Kingdom
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Postby Baloo Kingdom » Mon Feb 22, 2021 9:52 am

Drew Durrnil wrote:This is so you lmao
Also its a good draft!
The effect line also shouldn't start with the letter "I".

Is it ok if the I is in quotation marks? The "I" is part of the name
In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, I place you under arrest unless you stop reading this. Lutheran, Ohioan, centrist, friend, and adept memer, Baloo has it all.
"I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world."
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Drew Durrnil
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Postby Drew Durrnil » Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:06 am

Baloo Kingdom wrote:
Drew Durrnil wrote:This is so you lmao
Also its a good draft!
The effect line also shouldn't start with the letter "I".

Is it ok if the I is in quotation marks? The "I" is part of the name

I'm not sure so I'll leave that to a more experienced issues author.
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Atheris wrote:0/10. Using this fifth glyph in casual talk is not only inimical, but also shows that human minds act not of individual thoughts but of compulsory will by a dug-in aristocracy.
Atheris wrote:*pulls out anime weapons*
weeaboo mode!
*screams in depression and existential dread*

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Baloo Kingdom
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Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Baloo Kingdom » Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:13 am

Drew Durrnil wrote:
Baloo Kingdom wrote:Is it ok if the I is in quotation marks? The "I" is part of the name

I'm not sure so I'll leave that to a more experienced issues author.

Ok thanks
In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, I place you under arrest unless you stop reading this. Lutheran, Ohioan, centrist, friend, and adept memer, Baloo has it all.
"I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world."
Creator of Infinity Bear and Peargame
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Terrabod
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Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Terrabod » Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:38 am

Baloo Kingdom wrote:
Drew Durrnil wrote:This is so you lmao
Also its a good draft!
The effect line also shouldn't start with the letter "I".

Is it ok if the I is in quotation marks? The "I" is part of the name

Yes, this is fine. I do think "Bigwig" is all one word, though. Oh, and your effect lines should not end with full stops.

But I guess a bigger question is why is Leader involved? In the real life case, didn't Disney just agree to change the ride? So if people aren't happy about a culturally insensitive ride, we know that government involvement isn't necessary to resolve the dispute. I've still included some comments that I hope you find useful, but you might need to reconsider your premise.

Baloo Kingdom wrote:[desc]Following the opening of Eisner Entreprises’ Eisnerland, some of the park’s themed attractions have been criticized for being both culturally and racially insensitive, the foremost attraction in the matter being Eisnerland’s Paradise Riverboats.

Detail, details, details! Humour is in the details, so I think you could add some humour by telling the reader exactly why the rides were "culturally and racially insensitive". I would also limit the controversy to just the ride in question since and that would mean you can focus in on exactly why that ride has been labelled "insensitive".

Baloo Kingdom wrote:[option]"It’s time for Eisnerland to change for the better," chants @@RANDOMNAME@@, vigorously waving their “Bigtopian Lives Matter” sign. "Eisnerland’s Paradise Riverboats are blatantly racist and Walter Eisner knows it! I mean, the attraction literally refers to the natives as ‘Big Wigs’ for Violet’s sake! I demand Eisner Entreprises shut down this horrid attraction until they can replace it with something I would want to show my children."

If you put @@HIS@@ instead of "their" it'll automatically change to "his" or "her" depending on whether @@RANDOMNAME@@ is male or female. I would also put "Bigtopian Lives Matter" in apostrophes ('Bigtoptian Lives Matter') to differentiate it from the speech. Also watch out for curved inverted commas “ and curved apostrophes ’ - these should be replaced with straight inverted commas " and straight apostrophes '.

Baloo Kingdom wrote:[option]"We apologize for any problems you may have with our attraction," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of the various faceless employees of Eisnerland. "Mr. Eisner does not wish to offend anyone, especially those of Bigtopian background. Please, let us mildly alter the Paradise Riverboats, and maybe we can come to an understanding."

Is this just doing the same thing as Option 1? Both are asking you to ensure that the riverboat ride is replaced with something more appropriate.

Baloo Kingdom wrote:[option]"Alter Paradise Riverboats?! You can’t do that!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, with a slew of Eisnerland pins and memorabilia slung across @@HIS@@ body. "The Paradise Riverboats is a classic and iconic attraction! Altering it would destroy my nostalgia- I mean would disrespecting Walter Eisner masterpiece! I implore you @@LEADER@@, don’t let them take away my attraction."

The big issue with this option is that it does the same thing as the dismiss button; essentially Leader chooses to do nothing. There needs to be an alternative dilemma here, not just change the ride or don't change the ride.
- P L E A S ES T A N DB Y -
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Baloo Kingdom
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Postby Baloo Kingdom » Mon Feb 22, 2021 11:04 am

Terrabod wrote:
Yes, this is fine. I do think "Bigwig" is all one word, though. Oh, and your effect lines should not end with full stops.

But I guess a bigger question is why is Leader involved? In the real life case, didn't Disney just agree to change the ride? So if people aren't happy about a culturally insensitive ride, we know that government involvement isn't necessary to resolve the dispute. I've still included some comments that I hope you find useful, but you might need to reconsider your premise.


Detail, details, details! Humour is in the details, so I think you could add some humour by telling the reader exactly why the rides were "culturally and racially insensitive". I would also limit the controversy to just the ride in question since and that would mean you can focus in on exactly why that ride has been labelled "insensitive".


If you put @@HIS@@ instead of "their" it'll automatically change to "his" or "her" depending on whether @@RANDOMNAME@@ is male or female. I would also put "Bigtopian Lives Matter" in apostrophes ('Bigtoptian Lives Matter') to differentiate it from the speech. Also watch out for curved inverted commas “ and curved apostrophes ’ - these should be replaced with straight inverted commas " and straight apostrophes '.


Is this just doing the same thing as Option 1? Both are asking you to ensure that the riverboat ride is replaced with something more appropriate.


The big issue with this option is that it does the same thing as the dismiss button; essentially Leader chooses to do nothing. There needs to be an alternative dilemma here, not just change the ride or don't change the ride.

Thanks for all of the feedback again Terrabod! I've touched up on mostly all of your comments and have made each of the options much more unique than previously. I've altered some of the options to make @@LEADER@@ more involved in the decision. The technical errors have been fixed as well. Your continued support is cherised.
In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, I place you under arrest unless you stop reading this. Lutheran, Ohioan, centrist, friend, and adept memer, Baloo has it all.
"I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world."
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Feb 23, 2021 4:39 am

Who's Walter Eisner? What's Eisner Enterprise?
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Baloo Kingdom
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Postby Baloo Kingdom » Tue Feb 23, 2021 6:22 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Who's Walter Eisner? What's Eisner Enterprise?

See Issue 818, this is a sort of sequel issue. If my issue was accepted, it would only be available to people who have received the issue and chosen one of two options allowing Eisner Enterprises to construct Eisnerland either in the desert or in a more urban area (either way doesn't matter). It seems rather specific, I know.
In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, I place you under arrest unless you stop reading this. Lutheran, Ohioan, centrist, friend, and adept memer, Baloo has it all.
"I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world."
Creator of Infinity Bear and Peargame
Total Coffee Ounces Consumed Since Joining NationStates: 1182 fl oz
Yes, this nation represents most of my beliefs.

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Baloo Kingdom
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Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Baloo Kingdom » Wed Feb 24, 2021 12:14 pm

/bump
Last edited by Baloo Kingdom on Wed Feb 24, 2021 2:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.
In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, I place you under arrest unless you stop reading this. Lutheran, Ohioan, centrist, friend, and adept memer, Baloo has it all.
"I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world."
Creator of Infinity Bear and Peargame
Total Coffee Ounces Consumed Since Joining NationStates: 1182 fl oz
Yes, this nation represents most of my beliefs.

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Terrabod
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Founded: Jan 10, 2018
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Terrabod » Wed Feb 24, 2021 1:14 pm

Baloo Kingdom wrote:/bump

Save your bumping until your draft falls off the front page of Got Issues or has been sitting on the front page for over a week, you scoundrel! It's impolite to rush the commenters here in Got Issues since we give up our free time to help you (when we're able to find the time).
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Baloo Kingdom
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Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Baloo Kingdom » Wed Feb 24, 2021 2:33 pm

Terrabod wrote:
Baloo Kingdom wrote:/bump

Save your bumping until your draft falls off the front page of Got Issues or has been sitting on the front page for over a week, you scoundrel! It's impolite to rush the commenters here in Got Issues since we give up our free time to help you (when we're able to find the time).

My apologies. Even with a year of NS under my belt, I still didn't know that. Won't happen again. The pursuit of knowledge continues.
Last edited by Baloo Kingdom on Wed Feb 24, 2021 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, I place you under arrest unless you stop reading this. Lutheran, Ohioan, centrist, friend, and adept memer, Baloo has it all.
"I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world."
Creator of Infinity Bear and Peargame
Total Coffee Ounces Consumed Since Joining NationStates: 1182 fl oz
Yes, this nation represents most of my beliefs.


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