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[SUBMITTED - 1/24/2021] One-Banana Problem

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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[SUBMITTED - 1/24/2021] One-Banana Problem

Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sun Jan 17, 2021 9:35 pm

Why not have fun with the way some things are being measured in NS?

[description]According to the statistics, the average @@DEMONYM@@ citizen ingests @@NUMBER OF BANANAS@@ bananas every day. The health benefits of the revered yellow fruit notwithstanding, some people are questioning whether eating so many bananas is a bad idea, after all.

[validity]nations where a person eats over 20 bananas per day on average

1.[option]"Well, we are truly becoming a banana republic, aren't we?" quips @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Health Minister, and chuckles at @@HIS@@ own joke. "Anyways, as much as I applaud our nation's dedication to eating fresh fruit, consuming @@NUMBER OF BANANAS@@ bananas every day can cause a host of health problems; like a dangerously elevated blood sugar level, or in some rare cases, even a potentially lethal potassium overdose. I suggest we subsidize the cultivation of other fruits with lower sugar content like berries or grapefruits so people can diversify their diet."

[effect]oranges and lemons sing all the @@DEMONYM@@ educators

2. [option]"This thing is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" exclaims Gwyneth Stefanos, the ambassador from Ausblic, which incidentally also happens to be a country that exports bananas to @@NAME@@. "Bananas are great! They are sweet, nutritious, and even neatly packaged by Mother Nature herself! You should distribute free bananas to all citizens for a healthy diet!" She goes on to peel a banana and lick it like a popsicle for an uncomfortably long time.

[effect]@@NAME@@ is literally going bananas

3. [option]"Bananas are dangerous!" yells @@RANDOMNAME@@, your perpetually anxiety-ridden secretary, hyperventilating into a brown bag. "Have you never watched cartoons? Whenever someone eats a banana, they drop the peel on the floor; and someone inevitably slips on it, falls on their bum and breaks their hip! Not to mention the glaring fact that bananas are radioactive! And ask any doctor, some people stick this fruit in certain orifices where it doesn't belong and then end up in the ER. We need to ban this fruit for our people's safety!"

[effect]@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ gleefully sing 'Yes, we have no bananas'

4. [option]"Indeed, bananas are dangerous!" enthuses General Belafonte, taking a banana out of his pocket and aiming it at you like a gun. "Which makes me realize, they can also be used as effective weapons against our enemies. Take a 6-foot, 7-foot, 8-foot bunch and drop it on enemy targets, squish them in fruit pulp. Expose them to banana radioactivity. At the end they will regret not having learned self-defense against fresh fruit!"

[effect]enemies hit with banana bombs are called 'banana split' in @@DEMONYM@@ army slang
Last edited by Frieden-und Freudenland on Sun Jan 24, 2021 2:53 pm, edited 12 times in total.
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Lelscrep
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Postby Lelscrep » Sun Jan 17, 2021 10:19 pm

This one is very good! :) I worry that only a few nations who get this issue would actually be aware of their banana consumption, but it's funny on it's own regardless. An idea for another option, if you would like, could be to increase agricultural subsidization directly? Though admittedly, I think three is all an issue like this one needs.

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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sun Jan 17, 2021 10:54 pm

Lelscrep wrote:This one is very good! :) I worry that only a few nations who get this issue would actually be aware of their banana consumption, but it's funny on it's own regardless. An idea for another option, if you would like, could be to increase agricultural subsidization directly? Though admittedly, I think three is all an issue like this one needs.

Haha, thanks! I am not sure if I can (or should) try to push this as a real issue, though. There are a couple of hurdles.

First of all, I don't know if there is a way to directly pull out the exact number of bananas each nation is consuming on average and to reference it in the issue. We would need a piece of code to query the World Census scores of nations, and this is customarily not done backstage, but perhaps there is a way of doing it. (I am investigating this.) If we cannot assign the issue to nations that actually consume 20 or more bananas per day, the whole issue is useless.

Another problem is the contradiction inherent in some options, which may be more problematic. In the crazy NS world, eating bananas may be healthy, but we all know that it wouldn't be feasible or healthy to eat so many bananas in real life.

Now, in real life, an option like Option 1 should actually increase people's health, because it proposes to promote other fruits and decrease the banana-heavy diet. However, in the NS world, increasing health will directly correspond to eating more bananas, causing this option to do precisely the opposite of what it is calling for. :blink:

I am not sure we want that.

But can we have this as a special joke issue for an April Fools prank or something? Meh, maybe. For now, it is just for the giggles. :p

I am glad you liked it!
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Eshialand
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Postby Eshialand » Sun Jan 17, 2021 11:06 pm

I smell an Easter Egg!

Also, what about an option where you harness the radioactivity found in bananas to make nuclear weapons made of bananas? (Fruit-clear weapons?)
Last edited by Eshialand on Sun Jan 17, 2021 11:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Mon Jan 18, 2021 7:03 am

I always assumed that you're not literally eating that many bananas per day, but rather eating food that, according to the World Census bureau's calculations, has equivalent nutritious value to that many standard bananas. Although now I look closely, the unit name doesn't actually say that!

Another weird thing is how the unit measures bananas, but the trophy image depicts an apple.

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Baizou
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Postby Baizou » Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:28 am

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:Now, in real life, an option like Option 1 should actually increase people's health, because it proposes to promote other fruits and decrease the banana-heavy diet. However, in the NS world, increasing health will directly correspond to eating more bananas, causing this option to do precisely the opposite of what it is calling for. :blink:

Perhaps there's a way around that. Lelscrep suggested increasing agricultural subsidies as a possible effect, so what about this: Option 1 doesn't actually change health at all, but it increases agricultural subsidies. That reflects the state's promotion of other fruits and vegetables. It doesn't actually decrease the number of bananas people are apparently eating, but it also avoids getting into the question of "should this make the people healthier or less healthy?"

Ironically, that means Option 2 would make the people healthier if it means increasing the health stat to correspond with making banana consumption even higher... perhaps it could also decrease averageness and increase ideological radicality? XD
Last edited by Baizou on Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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634-86-11
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Postby 634-86-11 » Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:41 am

Baizou wrote:
Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:Now, in real life, an option like Option 1 should actually increase people's health, because it proposes to promote other fruits and decrease the banana-heavy diet. However, in the NS world, increasing health will directly correspond to eating more bananas, causing this option to do precisely the opposite of what it is calling for. :blink:

Perhaps there's a way around that. Lelscrep suggested increasing agricultural subsidies as a possible effect, so what about this: Option 1 doesn't actually change health at all, but it increases agricultural subsidies. That reflects the state's promotion of other fruits and vegetables. It doesn't actually decrease the number of bananas people are apparently eating, but it also avoids getting into the question of "should this make the people healthier or less healthy?"

Ironically, that means Option 2 would make the people healthier if it means increasing the health stat to correspond with making banana consumption even higher... perhaps it could also decrease averageness and increase ideological radicality? XD


I wonder if another possible effect of Option 1 could be increasing environmental beauty and the agricultural sector, since decreasing monoculture can lead to better soil quality and higher yields per year.
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Tue Jan 19, 2021 8:56 pm

Eshialand wrote:I smell an Easter Egg!

Also, what about an option where you harness the radioactivity found in bananas to make nuclear weapons made of bananas? (Fruit-clear weapons?)

Thanks. This is a crazy idea; but since the issue itself is crazy anyway, I see no problem incorporating this suggestion into the issue in some form. That form happens to be Option 4. I ended up squeezing 3 different pop culture references into this option. Can you catch them all? ;)

Baizou wrote:
Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:Now, in real life, an option like Option 1 should actually increase people's health, because it proposes to promote other fruits and decrease the banana-heavy diet. However, in the NS world, increasing health will directly correspond to eating more bananas, causing this option to do precisely the opposite of what it is calling for. :blink:

Perhaps there's a way around that. Lelscrep suggested increasing agricultural subsidies as a possible effect, so what about this: Option 1 doesn't actually change health at all, but it increases agricultural subsidies. That reflects the state's promotion of other fruits and vegetables. It doesn't actually decrease the number of bananas people are apparently eating, but it also avoids getting into the question of "should this make the people healthier or less healthy?"

Ironically, that means Option 2 would make the people healthier if it means increasing the health stat to correspond with making banana consumption even higher... perhaps it could also decrease averageness and increase ideological radicality? XD


These are nice suggestions about how the options could be interpreted. :)
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Fauxia
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Postby Fauxia » Wed Jan 20, 2021 3:54 pm

Eshialand wrote:I smell an Easter Egg!

Also, what about an option where you harness the radioactivity found in bananas to make nuclear weapons made of bananas? (Fruit-clear weapons?)

I like this idea. That way we can get back at the anarcho-capitalist nations that can get 256 with an Easter Egg they aren't eligible for.

On the other hand, I'm not sure the surprise is there anymore...
Last edited by Fauxia on Wed Jan 20, 2021 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sat Jan 23, 2021 4:48 pm

Bump - agriculture subsidies for non-banana fruits proposed in Option 1
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Lelscrep
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Postby Lelscrep » Sat Jan 23, 2021 6:34 pm

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:Bump - agriculture subsidies for non-banana fruits proposed in Option 1

Looking really good now. As others have said, this could become a fun Easter Egg issue. I think if you want this to become an Easter Egg, lean even more into the silliness this issue could entail - otherwise, this is looking great. :)

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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sun Jan 24, 2021 2:54 pm

Lelscrep wrote:
Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:Bump - agriculture subsidies for non-banana fruits proposed in Option 1

Looking really good now. As others have said, this could become a fun Easter Egg issue. I think if you want this to become an Easter Egg, lean even more into the silliness this issue could entail - otherwise, this is looking great. :)

Thank you. I don't know how Easter egg issues work or when was the last time a new Easter egg issue was added to the game. We'll see how things will work, I think this could be a regular issue as well, albeit a slightly crazy one. :p
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Lelscrep
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Postby Lelscrep » Sun Jan 24, 2021 3:22 pm

Good luck!

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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sun Jan 24, 2021 3:28 pm

Lelscrep wrote:Good luck!

Thanks!
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Fauxia
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Postby Fauxia » Sun Jan 24, 2021 3:30 pm

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:
Lelscrep wrote:Looking really good now. As others have said, this could become a fun Easter Egg issue. I think if you want this to become an Easter Egg, lean even more into the silliness this issue could entail - otherwise, this is looking great. :)

Thank you. I don't know how Easter egg issues work or when was the last time a new Easter egg issue was added to the game. We'll see how things will work, I think this could be a regular issue as well, albeit a slightly crazy one. :p

Late November or early December 2018.

I only know that because the last was 1122, and my issue (1124) was published in early December 2018 according to my factbook.
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sun Jan 24, 2021 3:34 pm

Fauxia wrote:
Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:Thank you. I don't know how Easter egg issues work or when was the last time a new Easter egg issue was added to the game. We'll see how things will work, I think this could be a regular issue as well, albeit a slightly crazy one. :p

Late November or early December 2018.

I only know that because the last was 1122, and my issue (1124) was published in early December 2018 according to my factbook.

Ah, thanks. Well, OK, perhaps it could be an Easter egg issue. And you know what? People answering it should get a banana-themed banner! (At any rate, we won't know anything until and unless someone picks up this issue to edit.)
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Baizou
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Postby Baizou » Sun Jan 24, 2021 3:35 pm

Congrats on the submission, and good luck to the issue! Hahah, it'd be a slghtly crazier issue, but I think it's just the right amount of wacky to fit in. I mean, hey, NationStates' serious issues include stuff like fears of a syrup attack and elementary-age kids who hack into the military database. Why not also have denizens eating 20 bananas a day?
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sun Jan 24, 2021 3:44 pm

Baizou wrote:Congrats on the submission, and good luck to the issue! Hahah, it'd be a slghtly crazier issue, but I think it's just the right amount of wacky to fit in. I mean, hey, NationStates' serious issues include stuff like fears of a syrup attack and elementary-age kids who hack into the military database. Why not also have denizens eating 20 bananas a day?

The thing is, there are already plenty of NS nations where this is the case. In my own nation, people eat over 30 bananas per day. :p

This issue is an in-game joke about how NS measures things. According to the NS stats, the health of the population is measured by how many bananas they eat per day. In very healthy nations, that number can really be crazy (like double-digit numbers).
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Eshialand
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Postby Eshialand » Sun Jan 24, 2021 3:45 pm

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:
Fauxia wrote:Late November or early December 2018.

I only know that because the last was 1122, and my issue (1124) was published in early December 2018 according to my factbook.

Ah, thanks. Well, OK, perhaps it could be an Easter egg issue. And you know what? People answering it should get a banana-themed banner! (At any rate, we won't know anything until and unless someone picks up this issue to edit.)

So sorta like Issue 201, which gives the "Avast!" banner?

Honestly, if this isn't an Easter Egg, I can see it drawing a lot of comparisons to Issue 201, which is for all intents and purposes, a pseudo-Easter Egg, what with the buttons to accept each option saying "YARR!" and the button to dismiss saying "ARR, TEH DAVY JONES' LOCKER WITH YE ALL!" (or something to that effect, I don't actually remember what it was exactly...).

Good Luck with the submission!
Last edited by Eshialand on Sun Jan 24, 2021 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Sun Jan 24, 2021 7:06 pm

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:I don't know how Easter egg issues work or when was the last time a new Easter egg issue was added to the game.
You're an issue editor. Isn't knowing how this works supposed to be your job?

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jan 24, 2021 8:06 pm

I missed it :(
Good luck!
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sun Jan 24, 2021 9:23 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:I missed it :(
Good luck!

Nice to see you again! Have you been inactive lately? It was a bit too quiet and, uhm, organized around here. :p

Trotterdam wrote:
Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:I don't know how Easter egg issues work or when was the last time a new Easter egg issue was added to the game.
You're an issue editor. Isn't knowing how this works supposed to be your job?


Not quite. There doesn't seem to be any rules and regulations around Easter egg issues (e.g., No magical gates opening backstage to impart you the secrets of how Easter egg issues are released). I have also never been an active editor when an Easter egg issue made it onto the drawing board, so I have no first-hand experience with them.
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jan 24, 2021 10:59 pm

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:I missed it :(
Good luck!

Nice to see you again! Have you been inactive lately? It was a bit too quiet and, uhm, organized around here. :p

Trotterdam wrote:You're an issue editor. Isn't knowing how this works supposed to be your job?


Not quite. There doesn't seem to be any rules and regulations around Easter egg issues (e.g., No magical gates opening backstage to impart you the secrets of how Easter egg issues are released). I have also never been an active editor when an Easter egg issue made it onto the drawing board, so I have no first-hand experience with them.

I haven't been around GI lately, no
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Fauxia
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Postby Fauxia » Mon Jan 25, 2021 8:40 am

Australian rePublic wrote:
Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:Nice to see you again! Have you been inactive lately? It was a bit too quiet and, uhm, organized around here. :p



Not quite. There doesn't seem to be any rules and regulations around Easter egg issues (e.g., No magical gates opening backstage to impart you the secrets of how Easter egg issues are released). I have also never been an active editor when an Easter egg issue made it onto the drawing board, so I have no first-hand experience with them.

I haven't been around GI lately, no

Well, good to see you back, Aussie :)
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Mon Jan 25, 2021 3:31 pm

After so much banana discussion, I remembered that I had some bananas on top of the fridge, which were a bit overripe and were going to rot if I let them. So I made a banana bread. :p

Encountering lots of banana issues these days, one way or another.
When I write, I don't have an accent.

My issues

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
~Walt Whitman

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