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[Saint Monkey]

Final Day of the Hawaba and Beach Volleyball Season: Winners and Losers

By Leila Chimporanga (1st April 2024)

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After the end of the Hawaba and Beach Volleyball seasons, we go through the winners and losers of the 23/24 season and a roundup of the last set of games this sunday.

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CAUTION: SPOILERS

Beach Volleyball

It was a mighty close final weekend in BVSL1 and 2 as Chongona Beach win 3-2 to win the BVSL2 title. Saint Monkey City BV were the other team to be promoted, but due to playing a tiebreaker in all of their games won, they lost the bonus point and therefore handing the title over to Chongona Beach. Chongona had a tough time too, as in 2 games won they headed into a tiebreaker point winning their three games 9-7 and 10-8. In the last game however, they won 3-1. Saint Monkey City BV won their 3 games by 11-9, 10-9 and 12-10, meaning that they dropped a bonus point, as you need to win one game convincingly to get a bonus point. This seperated the teams by 1 point in the league, as the were drawed going into the last game.

The teams demoted to BVSL2 were Southern Nufalka Atoll BV and Highway Beaches. Southern Nufalka Atoll BV were recently in the Men's Doubles Finals and lost 4-0. Since then they weren't able to get better, and were demoted. Highway Beaches were demoted after finishing last place though, after a truly terrible season for the club. It was the worst season for any team in BVSL1 since 2009. There is a clear reason though, as they went into bankruptcy early on in the season, and had to offload their best players. They also missed 5 games, and although a valiant attempt staying up, it was over for them. However, most fans of the club are just happy the club still exists.

The teams demoted to BVSL3 were Forest Finders, Freechimp East BV and Youinga Laiti Hon BV, after a disappointing season from them. Youinga Laiti Hon BV had already been relegated 1 week ago after they couldn't possibly win to get above the demotion zone. Freechimp East BV lost their game 5-0 putting them in the demotion zone and Forest Finders lost theirs 4-1. The winner of BVSL3 was Fanzone Beach Volleyball, a fan made team after the fall of the Monkey Empireans. They began at the bottom of the Beach Volleyball pyramid, in the non-leagues in 2015. Within 10 years, they've managed to rise to the second tier. Chimp & The City BV finished 2nd, a former winner of BVSL1 in the 20th century, and in 3rd, Chimpangutan Salcha, after being stuck in BVSL3 for 19 years, they've made it to BVSL2 after a fantastic 5-0 win.

As for BVSL1, it was the great Chalutan Blues who made it to the top, after a 3-2 win with a bonus point. This makes Beach Volleyball great Harri-Chimp Power win his 5th title in Beach Volleyball, tying with another legend, Luna Zoe. Luna's team won 3-2 also, but without a Bonus Point, finishing 2nd in BVSL1.

Hawaba

It was Ruby Beach Capanta who won HL2 after a remarkable campaign. They were promoted from HL3 in the 22/23 season and had a unbelievable season to win HL2 and move up into HL1. They won their game 4-2 (3-2, 4-3, 3-4, 2-3, 3-2, 5-3) to win the HL2 trophy. Saint Monkey City Corals were demoted from HL1 after a super close battle with Light City Electrifiers. Light City Electrifiers were also fighting for survival, and managed to win the game a close 5-3 (3-4 3-4 5-3 5-3 2-3 3-2 3-2 6-4).

Orangamonk Climbers put up a great fight to win HL3, after playing Saint Monkey IV HC. They came out the winners, but luckily for Saint Monkey IV HC, they were promoted to, due to a last minute comeback by Chimpic Champions, beating fourth placed Corals HC. Lake Chimpic East HC was also promoted, after an easy win to last placed side, King Crownex.

As for the HL1 winner, it was the Chimpangutan Beachers who won the HL1, after a dissapointing loss in the Hawaba Cup Final, they managed to win the league and get Alejandra Bapo her 5th title, drawing with Chinanidor Hanada for the most HL1 wins in total.

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As the season closes, it gives clubs a chance to regroup and new clubs in leagues ready up for new challenges. We cannot wait for the season to return in June.

[Saint Monkey]

Ş̸̢̰̣̲̪͈̼͉̖̏͑͠o̷̭̾͗̔͂͛̍̈̄̀̒͘͘͠,̵̧̺̞̗̜͈̘̰̥̋̐̒͛͜͝ ̵̺͔͚̈́͛̀̄̑͐͝͝͝A̵̡̢̨̳̥̫̝͎͖̹͓͔̜̩̓̀͌̔͠r̴̘̳̓̐͆̊͝e̴͇̦̞͓̞͚͎͖͌̐̍̒͌͆͝ ̴̧̢̢̥̤̖̮̱͉̬͇̙̰̘̌͋́͐͘͜Ÿ̸̨̦̣ō̷̢̧̻͔̜̖̥̞͖̺̱̣͈̮̗̄́̋̾̈́̎̕ȕ̵̱̯̦̟̤̙̥̔̿̌͌̋̎̋̈́̋̄̇͜͠ ̸̧̛̠̭̤͍̟̖̪̤̪̼͎͙̄́͊̀̀̎͛̄̌̀̾̋r̷̛͈͕̖̅͒̈̌͠͝͠ȩ̵̗̭͚̻̼̝̘̟͆̈́͑͊̋̐͘͘̚ã̶̹͈͆̉͒̾d̷̹̤͖̮̱͓̗͔̦͛̋̎̄̑͘į̷̡̢̠̺̯̰̯͍͔̍̌͋̎ṇ̵̢͎̪͉̔̋̍̈́͆̃̔́̋̏̊͜͠ģ̶̧̛͚̗̭̤̣͓͇̣͎̘̣̩͐͛̍̃̾̆̋͜͠ ̸̰̗̯̠̳̩̖̈́̚ͅt̵̻͕̲̞̞̼̫̻̃͛͆̑̒̅̎h̷̡̛͈̘̬̱̤̪̗̞̰͔̘͐͋͆͌̎́͝͝i̸͍̪̹̳̫̤̝̖̞̺͍͙̰̮̥̅͊̆͒̌̉͌͒͐̾͛̕s̶̗͇̋,̴̼͆̍̐̈́̅̋̚ ̴̨̨̥̮̝̻̘̝̬̗͙̎̒̋̇͗̾̿̊̾͗̈ǐ̸̖̖̖̭͠f̷̰͙̉̾̀̏̒͂̈́̈̈͐͠ ̶̨̨̲̺̞̙͚͓̪̘̙̊͑̂̀̚͜͠͝s̶̛͔͌̒͝ͅŏ̷̢͔̹̬̥̟̀͂̌̾̉͗̇̓̆̈̚ ̸͉̝̞͈̍̈́̅̀̄͊̑́̋̊̍̀͜y̵̞̠̺̩̹̙͕̹̬̭̤͎͌̇̀͑̊̀̀̅̍̿̿̔͝͝o̷̢̧͉͓̺͉̝̺̻͂̒̑̑̾͗̄͘͜ų̶̡̗͍̞̣̫̩̼͇̰̝̥̓̇̀͐͜'̸̨̜̮͍̹͐̓͊͊̓͌̒͒r̴̡͕͔̞̜̙̃̌͗̉̈́͝ȇ̴͇͇͕̺̘̲͚̺̠̞̼̺ͅ ̶̺̱͍̟̣̯̖͔͚̹̌̃ī̴̡̢̛̫̮̺̆̄͋́́̅̓͊̊͗͘̕n̸̡͕̬̱̠̬̪̱͙̘̂̄̇̏̃̒ ̸̡̛͍̯͎̻̝̼̭̜͙̪̱̲̬͋̓̽̈́̀̒͐̔̐̇̍̆̓̀d̶̛͖͚̗̝̩̗̥̓͌̆͗́͗̈́͐́̒̀̚ą̴̰͚̲̹̼̹̖̪̩̩̗̪̑͒͛̿̍̓̽̋ͅn̸̛̻̞̬̪̩̩͍͓͙̳̥̩͍̍͊͐̂̓̂͌̎͘͜ͅḡ̸̰̗̲̝͂̔͜͝ę̴̛̤̣̭̰̞̩̰̹͙̬̖͖͋͒̄́̋̊͛̈́͂͜͠r̷̙̖͊̌

?̸̨̝͔͎̞̣̠͕̼̦̮͎͎̜͗̿̊̉̐͜͝?̸̨̞͖̦͉̠͇̩̦̮̃͑͆̾̾́̍͂͋͛̚͘ͅ?̸̡̢̙͍̻͎͔̖͙̬͈̝̲̟̾̍̽́̄͒͝͝͠(1st April 2024)

?̸̨̝͔͎̞̣̠͕̼̦̮͎͎̜͗̿̊̉̐͜͝?̸̨̞͖̦͉̠͇̩̦̮̃͑͆̾̾́̍͂͋͛̚͘ͅ?̸̡̢̙͍̻͎͔̖͙̬͈̝̲̟̾̍̽́̄͒͝͝͠

Ẇ̴͙͙̩̰͙̪̺̖͌̀͗̀͐̏̆̍́̅h̴̨͚̤̺͓̣́͋ä̷̛͈́̾t̸̡̟̳̙̟͈͕̞̹̱̖͋̓̅͐͜͠͝ͅ ̵̨̖̞̞̹̯̭͔̘̆̇̃͂̽́̂̂̒̐̄̓͘͝h̵̢̛̞̣͕̝̲̀͑̇̀̾́̇͐͂̀ā̵̧͖̤͈͇̼̞̠̬̫̳̙͒̑͛͐͌̏͝p̵̨̱̩̳̺̖̣̀p̷̨̯̖̙̩͔͎̬͙͆̈́̒̆̉̎͘e̶̤͓̫̗͚̯̩̜͉͓̱̘͇̰͋͠ņ̸̡̙̺̟͔̝̙̮̍̂̊̂̾̉̈́̚̕͜ͅͅe̸̬̿͌̀̈̉̈́́͛͛̕̕̚͜͠d̸̙̯̳̩͖̲̬̜͓̄͛͌͑͂̒̓́̈́́̾̒̕̕͠ͅ ̷̲͙͔̺͉̰̳̋̃̐̒̋̐̾̏͊̇͝ḩ̸̨͙̩̖̯̲̠͈͂̏̐͗ͅe̷̡͉̝̞̻̯͔̱͈̖͍̅̀̈́͌̾̽͒͘͜͝͝͝r̷̞͐̄̿̊́ȩ̴͕̙͔̠̼̤̳̪̹̓͗̍̈́̄̅̎̾͑̀͛͘ ̴̪̝͈̏̔̈́ͅȳ̶̥͚̘̩̯̥͎͇̭̞̫̿o̴̺̜͚̿̔̒͒͆͌͛͋̔̄̉̃͘ͅų̶̛͓͍̘̑̽̽̐̈́̓͋̕̚ ̸̢͇̜͓͔̦̽̈́̇̍͜m̷̙͙̟̬̊́̊̆̕͠ͅâ̵̜̠̝̞̖̖̬̥͚͇̖̞̿̇̈̀̊̒̏͜͜y̷̧̛̤̘͎̮̜̟̹̥͈͎͓̥̫̦̌̑̉͐̚͝ ̶̛͔̜̤̂̓̐̾̏̽̾ạ̴̠̫͌̏͒́̒̀͊̒̉̕͠ş̵̺̞͇̮͓̭̜̃̿͊̈͐̊̽k̴̻͇̫͆̾͘,̸̯͕̯͙̻̙̲̘̣̈́ ̶̛̱̹͍̬̬̔͆̒̃͐͗̀͛̌͋͘I̴̪̞̝͗̾̀ ̸̛͚͖͔͈̩̓̂͑̈́̓̌̓̌̄̄͘͝ẗ̸̨̢͖̪͉̖̲͉̘̭̠̟̣̗͚́͌͊͊̆̚͝ḣ̸̡̯͔͙̹̠͎͉̲̦͛̾̓ͅͅî̷̫͈̟̻̗̥̟͙̲͎̣̝͙̲͒̀͑́͗̐̈̏̐̕n̸͈̗̓̂͑̋̏̀̎͘͘͘͝k̶̥͍̆̍͠ ̵̧̢̩̝̻̮̺̻̥̹͊͋̆̿̿́̆̓́͋̇̑̚I̷͚͈̿'̷͕̮̘͕͓̇͜v̵̓̈́̽ͅê̸̢̛̝̬̝͚̲̔͂̇̈́͆̾̀̐͊͘ ̶̡̧̞̤͍̦͈̮͓̱̖͐͘͝͠ͅb̷̨̟̭̺̩̻͍͖̱̜̼̗͋́ͅȩ̵̢̛̼͚̯͔̻͎͎͓̮̽̿̕͘ë̶͇̬̪̺͚̩̬̱̮̬̱͌͑̿̆̊́̇͝n̵̨̢̛̫̼͍̪̜͙͜ͅ ̸̲̱̀̆̈̈́̊̔͌́̔͑͑̉̈̕m̶̛̤̺͈̞̩͔̞̙̹̿̊͐̈́̒̂̒͛͘͘͘̚è̶̢͇̯̼̣̘̭͍̃͜ş̸̨̨̝͍̪̥̝̝̰̬͖̉͑͊̀̎́̓̂̓͊̚ͅs̴̢̧̛͓̫͔̄́̎̽̄̆̄̚͜͝ͅi̵̤̔̈́͆͋̌̓̚͘ͅň̴̡̪̟̬̰̩͎͋͗͌̀̀̀̑̀͛g̸͉͙͔̙̹͍͔̲͑̏̔̆͛ ̷̢̻̪̱̮̱̳̜̯̳̭͕̤͔͕̄̈́̓̏̾̏̓͑̚à̶̩̪̪̙̰̟̮̓͘͜͝ͅr̶̢̧͙͔͚̠̟̻͍͕̐͂̓͂͂͝ͅỡ̶̖̳͓͒̔͛̆̈́͛͆̊͘̕͝ǘ̷̫̜̖̩̬̱̮͕͑̔̄͑͋̊̄̓̚n̸̝̯̐̅̀͛ḑ̶̨̛̥̲̤̪̞͈̯͖͎̬̼̄̎̓̎͗̐͜͠ ̷͓͎̩̈̓̒̌̋̈́͌͝i̵̢̳̮̹̩̦̻͖͖̇͋͗̉̑͂̔̈́̍͊͗ṉ̷͍͙̞͚̮̄̈́̑͂͌͆͒̓̍̒̈́̎͑͌̚ͅ ̶̢̜̳̜̳̬̰̟̲̦̥̩͍̿̀͑t̶̛͓̯̱͕͙̝̼͋̽̂̀̈́̍̄̑̓͊̒̉̓͘h̵̹̺̘̄͊͆̅̃ͅe̸̦̔̎̾̊͌͝ ̵͇̯͕͓͙̟̠͍̰͓̽͐b̸̢̺͍͇̞̮̞̹̟͗̉͆͆́͐̽̉ͅä̴̮͇̮̰̑̐c̷̛͎̖͌̿̅̍̾̈́̀͂k̵̨͓̰͙̲͉̱̯̋̏̀̿͆̌̐̌́͋̏͐ŗ̶̻̹̺̫̰̮̤̱̞̘̻̯͇̮̒̈́̅͋̎̾́́͌͑́̈́͘͝o̶̧̧̭̦̳̖͙̘̜̒͑̒ỏ̸̢̡̧̜̹̤̺͕̭͖̘̪̤̺̈͜͠m̴̢̯̯̞͚̱͌̌͊̌̐͐̈͝š̶̛̻̼̯͚͈

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͓̭̻͙̦͕̰̪̘͖̩̻̙̙̙̪̱͈̯͖̟͚͔̣̥͚̯̲̭̬͓̟̥̣̱̫̱͍̹͕̰̰̱̗͔̘̥͔̤͔͈̟̟̹̰̞̲͉̣̠̰̞̻̞͉̱͇̗̱̤̜̥́̇͐̀̿̅͆̒̊̉̿̾̄̔͐͊̇̓̈̽͛̄̀̍̋̆͛͌̄̀͐͛͊̂̌̓̽̈́̑͂̎̐͒̽̔̓́͛̀̔̈́̈́̇̈́͆͋̓̄́̍̓͒̊́̈̃̏͑͛͌̌͌̂̾̍̍͑͂̋̋̇͌͋͋͗̇̏̍̊́̿̅̐͛̓̀̾̆̂̌̎͗̇͋̉̋̇͑͌̏̇͊̈́̉̈́̚͘͘̕̕̚̚̕͜͜͜͜͝͠͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅą̵̨̨̨̡̧̨̢̢̧̢̧̧̢̧̨̨̡̡̧̛̛̛̛̛̛͔̰̦̝͔̪̠̼̗̪͎̲̬͍̺͉̼̩̙͚̤̳̥͍̙̮͕͕͈̼͈̦̜̫̰̝͚͍̝͈̣̟̺̗̦͔̣̖̯̰̻͍̼͈̖̼͎͕̼̪͙͍̪̮͉̳̥̮͔̳͈̠̣̺̫̬͉͕̣̪̮͎̮̖͉̬͍͈͉̜̫̥͙̰̬͚̖͖̮̭͚͈̟̼̟̦͕͖͙̠̩͎͓̝͉͍͇̞̩̙̗̪̰̼̙̟̥͉͔̹̦̫͔̣͈͖̮̠̜͕̗̫̺̳̠̻̥̠̪̮̬̘̤̳͉̠̯͓͔͖̬͇͚̜̱̘̻̟̰̗͍̜̞̲̭͍̙̱̣̳̲͍͍͍͉̜̫̞̌̍͒͒̇̿̔͆̐͒̇̎̉̌̉̓̑͐͌̈́͛̏̀̌̑̏̇͊̐͂̓̈́̓̃͊̂̾͂͂͑̈́̀̇͋͗͋̇̑̋̽̂̽̈́̂̉̃̈́̀̊͋̀̆̋̈̽́̆̌͒̄̃̓̔̂̅̔̎̓̿̓̓̄͂̊̐̈́͊̃̔̈̍̓͂̆̾̏̌̃̄͊̊͋̋̌͆̽̔̍͗́̋͒̆̀̆́̓̎̅̊͛̄́̈́̄̇͊̅̋̃̄̒͗̐̏̽̅͂͑̄̓͑̈͊̇͂̋̈́̍̈͛̆̉͗̀̉͌̀̀̂͂̍͗̉̃͌̈́̽́̓̇̒͋̃͑̒͊̏͌̎̅͋̀̔́̈́̑̑̉́̒̐̅̓̌͒̐̈́͛̌̓̈́̑̀͊̄̒̀́̐͑̿̒̒̀̈͋̇̃̍̃̓͆̂́̽̓͋̀͒̚̕͘̚̕̕͘̚͘͘̚͘̚̚̚͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅą̷̡̨̡̫͈̹̘͔̖̬̲͔̫͎͔̗͖̠̰̜̣͍͈͕̦̻͉̪͈͖̄̓́̌̑̆̌̈̃̓̐́̽̉̔̓͂̍̈́̀͊̌̀͐̏̇̑̇̋͘̕͝͝ͅh̷̡̨̢̡̧̡̨̡̢̢̢̡̧̧̛̰͙̳̰͕̺̠̠͓̠̬̺͙̜͔̜̹͔̯̝̩̭̥̖̹̼̖̹̱̼̖͕̞͇̼̼̰̫͚͔̗̰͎̲̮͇͕̠̤̖̳̪̣͕̣̭̘̻͔̲͍̪͈̯̹̮͍̫̲̤̱͇̺͚̙͖̥̻͈̲͈͇̺͉̠̲͍͈̯̯̠̻̠̺̯͍̬͚̗̞̥̟̮̞̬̭̮͔͓̟̙̤͖̜͍͙̪̣̼̣̼̬̦͖̫̭̱̟̱̟͙̲̘̯̩͔̰͉̞̦̟̟͍̗͉̗͓͉͎͈̣̥̭̝̰̟͙̦̱̬͔̻̾̍̽͊̈̈̔͛͆̈́͌̀͒̈̔̈́̊̄͂̆͂͆́̄̈͒͆̇̿̒́̓͑̋̏̈́̃̆͆́̍̄͛̈̍͆̂͆̐̋̈̅͂̓͗͑̏̿̑͊̔̓͛̋̑̌̃̽̃͑̅͋̏̏́͆̅͋̀͗͋̇͊͛̓̅̍́̈́̈́̍̈́͐͐͗̀̒̇̄̈́̎̈́̑͒̐͌̌̄́̃̈́̆̇̉͛́̃̈́͑͋͋̈́̚̕̚̚̕͜͜͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͝͠͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅȧ̵̡̧̢̨̧̢̧̨̧̢̢̛̟͓̭͖͉̠̹̠̬̦̞͖̱͙̲͉̥̼̳͓̙̲̼͎̙̘̪͔̗͖̖̜̣̭͍̫̮̟͔̦̭͕̙̪͕̪̖̥̯̱̖̯͈̘̗̩̥̟̙̫̻͖̻̰̗͉̦̩̝͓̱̙͉̬̪̳̘͈̝̲̻̠̯̙̲͇͙̦̹͈̗̳̝̻̮̰͚͔̫̞̬̜͍͇̠̦̗̣̹͎̠̪̲͓̝͉͕̲̘̭̱̤̠͈̹̜͚̗̪͓̠̟̯͉͍̖̪̯͖͚̞͓̪̠͈̬͖̗͓̹̯̥͎̻̜̙͍̜̪̺̯̳͕̹̰̤̦̫̲̙̳̖͉̺̠̖̺̱̦̮̫͇̩̠͇̻̝̜̺͓̣̪̻͑͊̍͊͐̃̈̓̓͒̿͗̓̈́̀̈̿̀͑̌́̊̓̃̑͐̿̈́͑̂͂͛̍͊̾̔̈́̊͆̃̇̓̀͐́̈͐̀̂̇̾͋̉͑̊̓̅̈́͊͑̒͆͊́̋͑̈̀̃̅̚̚̚͜͜͝͝͝͠͠͠ͅa̴̢̨̨̢̬̣̤̺̜͔̞̳̙͉̗̻͙̙̣͈̼͍̗̲̙̹̞̣̩̩̮̫͙̥͕̱̰̥͓̼̱͇͖͎̩̖̟͖͍̪̺͇͇̭̪͚͈̣̪̻͖̺̝̻̹̠͔̟̫͈̪̗̲̖̹̗̺̬̼̲̭͎͈͐̒̋́̾̃̉͌́̓̈́̉̓̐͐̈́̆̋́̂͛̎̄̓̕̚̕͜͜͝͠͝ͅͅͅh̶̡̢̨̧̛̛̛̛̛̛͕͓͕̬͍͇̲̼͇͈͕̪͎͖̬̥͔̳͓̱͔͍̳̲̺̱̺̹̹̖̘̲̰̩͉͙̥̤̱͉͇̯̹͈̖̘͔̻̟͇̝͉͙̠̹̜̱̼̹̣͈͕̪̳̞͖̰̟̗̫̻̺̪̺̤̠͚͕͍̭͍͍̬͖̠̖̱͇̯͈̺͍̬̙̜͎̖̪̝̿̅̈́̒̏̈́̋̋̋̾̿̋̓͗͛͊̎̏̈́̀͑͊͊̅͗̓̔͑̀͑̓̅̐͑̽͛͌̇̋̋̽̐̔͑̇͐̉͛͊̈́̅̑̔̀̄͐̐̒̂̓̂̇͊̄̉͛̎̅̾̓̄́͐͆̓̈́͗́̏̓̅̄͂̉͂͊͊͗͛̓͂͐̃̈́̉͗̄̈̉̌̂̿̀̀̃̓̀́̔̊̎̏̾̆̂̏̅̈͊̓̒̔̽͋͛̅͌̾̈̆͊̒̽̀̆̉̀̎̐͂̀͐̄͂͌͂̐̾̈́͒̾̋̿̍͊̃̑͆̉̄̾̅̐͗̓̃̄͗͊͋̀͊̑̍̍̈́͗̽̋̇́̈̃͘̚̕̕̕͘̕̕͘̕͘̚̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͠͠͠͠͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅ





Happy April Fool's!

[Saint Monkey]

Land Ahoy to ban Private Jets

By Lewis Jamie (5th April 2024)

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Private Jets to be banned on 1st January 2025 in region Land Ahoy after legislation passed in Saint Monkey I Regional Government, following months of talk and pressure to ban these jets.

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Stock image of a plane

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A bill was just passed to Ban Private Jets in Region Land Ahoy, and will be put into effect at the beginning of 2025. This is the first legislation of its kind, and many hope it will improve air traffic in the region, as well as many solving environmental issues. There were talks since December 2023, after a record number of complaints were made to the SMP (Saint Monkey Party) Government in 2023, 98,000. This was due to the increased number of Private Jets in the area and residents in their flight path were getting concerned about the noise it was causing.

For several months now, the SfC (Saints for Conservatism), were holding the legislation, but as complaints from the public rose and rose into 2024, reaching 124,000, SfC finally decided to vote for the bill in the 5th Vote on it, as it would go to a Public vote if they blocked, knowing they'd lose that and that it would be a waste of money to hold it. Regional President Harrison Button said, "This new legislation is important and has many benefits. It will stop hundreds of thousands of residents being distracted by these aircraft flying over it, it'll help the environment, as Private Jets carry 8-20 people rather than 100-400 in Passenger Jets, saving a lot of fuel. We know this has some economic drawbacks as Private Jets pay for the landing fees, however we are not in jeopardy without them."

He also said that other Regions should follow suite, and some have already, with the Andechimps and East Tropchimps following suite. Many regions will not, such as Chimpangutan and Gold Shores, due to the money made with the landing fees. The Crownexes won't either due to the SfC support towards capitalisation rather than a more socialised economy, and support any showing of capitalisation. There have been calls to ban Private Jets, and then provide some funding for FTRM (Fly The Right Monkey) a luxury airline similar to Private Jets, but just holding more passengers, up to 60 a time in larger airliners that can fit 300. "That would be a step forward" says Kingchimp Harris, a resident near Saint Monkey I International Airport.

There will still be a lot of talk on this subject, but it is the end of Private Jets here in Land Ahoy, and possibly the beginning of the end of them, in Saint Monkey as a whole.

[Saint Monkey]

BREAKING: 3 New Tribes Discovered in the Fortre Tribe territory

By John Newchimp (13th April 2024)

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BREAKING: After a routine flyby in the Fortre Tribe, 3 new Tribes have been discovered, says the Tikpa Potana Pinkata (Tribe Protection Agency).

Location of the new Tribes over the Fortre Tribe territory

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Not one, Not two but three new Tribes have been found inside the Fortre Tribe Territory, near village Fortregate. This has now been officially confirmed by the Tikpa Potana Pinkata and the Fortre Tribe have made several reports of unknown Tribespeople walking around the centre of their Tribe. The Saint Monkey Government have encouraged Fortre Tribe to make contact with the unknown Tribes. This could be connected to a Tribesperson in the Fortre Tribe going missing for 4 days now, although many members of the Tribe go out for days at a time in a tradition known as Bankapal (Pronounced Bufktahpal). However, it only lasts 3 days most of the time.

The Tribes were discovered when a helicopter captured pictures of unknown people wearing green and black outfits (Unknown Tribe 1). They were wearing large masks and had a large cannonball type weapon. This was at 7:08am 12th April. This was during a routine scout of the area to make sure the trees are healthy, and no potential trees could cause wildfire, or are suffering from disease. They also check for any illegal loggers and animal smugglers, just like the Chimpanzees found in the Sanada Rainforest caged in 2005. This is rare, but around 100 people get convicted of these crimes every year.

1 hour later, they discovered another set of people, which seemed to be in a strip without any trees, but still with vegetation. This area had trees in the last check, last month. The pilot claimed he saw the Tribespeople climb out of a hole, suggesting a tunnel system. They were unclothed, wearing nothing (Unknown Tribe 2). As they went back to the Helipad, they spotted a fire. So they headed there and discovered another set of people (Unknown Tribe 3) dancing. They wore large flowers and some wore long dresses. The Tikpa Potana Pinkata are getting in touch with other Tribes if they know anything about these new Tribes.

Over the last couple thousand years, Tribal population has decreased rapidly as many moved to civilisation as it was being built, since the 1300s. In the year 1412, it was expected that around 400 tribes existed. Nowadays, there are a recorded number of 42, just over 10% of what there was back then. Before the Tribal war, it was expected that 700 Tribes existed. The Government believe that there are around 6-7 undiscovered Tribes possibly. Now we know that there are at least 45 Tribes in Saint Monkey.

We can also tell these aren't the same Tribes. Every single tribe has a unique culture, and we can tell the differences as the Tribes were wearing different clothes, or none at all, and the dance seen was different to anything recorded. The Tribes may have came from the same place, but definitely are different.

We are still awaiting a reply from the Fortre Tribe, but it is expected that within the next few days we will know more about these new Tribes, which many expects have called "Incredible".

[Equai]

USA-Equai Diplomatic Rift: Cold War Rhetoric Escalates
USA President Wilson calls for WA Security Council and international containment of Equai

The fallout from the recent diplomatic clashes between the United States and Equai [and Romania] after the deserved execution of 15 Iron Brigade members, one of whom was Romanian and two American citizens, by Equaian Liberation Armed Forces deepened this morning, with both nations now standing on the precipice of severed ties and heightened tensions reminiscent of Cold War-era brinkmanship.

The escalation began this morning when the United States, in a bold move, called upon the World Assembly Security Council (WASC) to formally condemn Equai and impose sanctions in response to recent events. In a swift and decisive response, Secretariat of Foreign Affairs retaliated by shuttering its embassies in the US and issuing a stark ultimatum to the American ambassador: vacate Equai within 24 hours or face the revocation of diplomatic immunity which if revoked would charge US Ambassador Christopher H.B. Lincoln with anti-revolutionary sentiment and agitation against the Dictatorship of the Proletariat. United States of America and its Secretary of state Stacy Keller promptly reciprocated, ordering the Equain ambassador Lana Stojković to depart American soil within the same timeframe.

President Wilson of the United States wasted no time in lambasting Equai as a "communist dictatorship with no regard for international order or law." His administration further stoked the flames of tension by announcing plans to reopen the debate on reinstating containment doctrines akin to those employed against the former Soviet Union and promised to lay them in front of World Assembly Security Council. The American Senate echoed these sentiments, warning that Equai's actions could herald a return to Cold War dynamics and urging them to stop being a "rogue state", a catch-all term for any country refusing to bow to American imperialism.

In a pointed rebuttal, President Bella Santorini seized the opportunity to castigate the US, drawing parallels to the 20th century. She argued that just as American hegemony crumbled under the rising power of the USSR post-World War II which led to them "unofficially" declare a Cold War, it is now the Americans who for the very same reasons risk reigniting the Cold War through their aggressive rhetoric and actions. Furthermore, she recalled that executed criminals, two of them who happened to be Americans, were fascist and members of the international fascist order but said that she didn't recall American elite ever mentioning their affiliation when they tried to paint Equai as "rogue". In the same speech directed towards American President Wilson she exclaimed that Equai did what was said in their laws and that "American Constitution and Legal Code only apply to US-of-A". Finishing the speech she called America a "state whose lovers oddly happen to always be fascist".

Secretariat of Foreign Affairs and Secretariat of Defense in a joint statement stated that "we do not like how the situation progresses and will do everything to protect Equai and the Revolution". They continued by saying that "United States of America does not intimidate us and that if they try anything - from a colored revolution to spying to provocations we will consider it a declaration of war". Furthermore stating that "War is the last thing we want. We made a nuclear weapon for exactly this purpose - as a last resort and first line of defense against the imperialism from both West and East. Do not test us. Consider this as our final warning".
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21.04.2024

Author: Kaitlyn C.

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[Saint Monkey]

The Fortre Tribe has made contact with the three recently discovered.

By John Newchimp (18th April 2024)

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The Tikpa Pontana Pinkata have announced that members of the Fortre Tribe are contacting the three tribes.

Location of the new Tribes over the Fortre Tribe territory, also posted in the previous article.

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A follow-up of the events that took place in the Sanada Rainforest, the Fortre Tribe has said they have made contact with the Three Tribes. We do not know too much about this however there is some information on what has gone on. The Government-Tribal spokesperson for the Fortre Tribe Kadan Yuttu, said this in an interview earlier today:

"We have now made contact with all three just discovered Tribes. We have discovered the First Discovered Tribe worships the rocks of Fortre, a formation of rocks out of bounds for Fortre Tribe members, due to the spiritual gods. We managed to make contact to them through lighting a fire, and showing the ancient drawings on the rocks of Fortre, recorded by us before made out of bounds. The Third Tribe finds fire a element of worship, and must have connections to other elements. We are yet to understand all their languages, but believe it has a similar origin to ours, with some words being understood. We are also yet to discuss what a helicopter is or what is past the Sanada Rainforest. We have also located our tribesperson that went missing, and have him safe, back at the Tribe. We do not know how long this will take, but we will take our time, be careful and it seems if they're willing to contact us."

The Government have said that this is an exciting discovery, along with most ecologist and environmentalists, and will be willing for the Fortre Gate Tribe to take their time, so that they can live together side by side. Tourists are being stopped by police in Fortregate to access this area, and any tourists will be turned away and fined.

That is so far all the information know, hopefully soon we can bring an update on this developing story.

[Sarawak Darulhana]

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LATEST NEWS:MUISD SWORN TO FIGHT THE WAHABI TO THE END

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25th April 2024/16 Syawal 1445

MUISD SWORN TO FIGHT THE WAHABI TO THE END
By Nazrul Jefri

SANTUBONG-The Sarawak Islamic Religious Council Darulhana (MUISD) vowed to fight against any radical teachings including Wahhabism that are considered a threat to the peace and security of the country. In a meeting held at the MUISD headquarters in Majma, Kuching, Santubong, the members of MUISD unanimously agreed to take decisive measures to combat Wahhabi teachings which are considered a serious threat to the stability of society. The President of MUISD, Datu Khatib Haji Pengiran Ahmad bin Pengiran Abdul Rahman, in his statement, affirmed the commitment of MUISD in ensuring that Sarawak Darulhana is protected from the threat of extremist teachings that can cause tension and conflict among the community. He stated that the Wahhabi teachings have disturbed the harmony and tolerance between various religions and beliefs which has long been the main strength in Sarawak Darulhana."

With full awareness of the importance of preserving the peace and security of the country, the Islamic Religious Council of Sarawak Darulhana vows to fight Wahhabi teachings to the fullest We will not allow this misleading ideology to develop in the peaceful land of Sarawak

," stressed Dr. Ahmad bin Abdul Rahman. The measures announced by MUISD include increased monitoring of activities related to Wahhabi teachings, the destruction of institutions or premises related to the spread of Wahhabism, increased public awareness of the dangers of radical teachings, and closer cooperation with the authorities to ensure the safety and security of the country is maintained. Reactions to this announcement have been mixed, with some supporting the strict measures taken by MUISD to protect national security, while others voiced concerns about possible abuse and discrimination against certain communities in an effort to combat radical teachings. However, MUISD insists that the measures taken are for the common interest and safety of all Sarawak Darulhana citizens. They also invited all walks of life to fight together against the threat of extremism and maintain the peace and harmony that has long been the main feature of the Sarawak Darulhana community.

PENGIRAN MUDA IBRAHIM ALI OMAR SHAH IV REPLACES ABDUL HALIM AS MINISTER OF DEFENSE
By Habibah Jol

SANTUBONG-The political tension in Sarawak Darulhana ended with the official announcement that His Royal Highness Regent Pengiran Muda Ibrahim Ali Omar Shah IV will replace Datu Panglima Haji Abdul Halim Nuruddin as Minister of National Defense, making him the 3rd Minister of Defense in the country's history. This decision was taken after the National Shura Council and the Sarawak Legislative Assembly, which is the highest consultative body in the country, decided to remove Abdul Halim Nuruddin as the 2nd Minister of Defense following a conspiracy to stage a coup to overthrow the throne of the Ibrahim II Dynasty.

In a statement issued by Istana Darulhana, the Sultan of Sarawak Darulhana, Sultan Tengah Ibrahim Ali Omar Shah III Ibni Almarhum Sultan Tengah Ibrahim Ali Omar Indrashah II, welcomed the election of his son Pengiran Muda Ibrahim Ali Omar Shah IV as the new Minister of Defense. The Sultan expressed his confidence that Pengiran Muda Ibrahim's experience, leadership, and commitment will give a great impetus to the field of national defense.

Pengiran Muda Ibrahim Ali Omar Shah IV, who is the eldest son of the royal family in Sarawak Darulhana who will inherit the throne of the Sultan of Sarawak III has gained wide support from members of the National Shura Council and the Sarawak Legislative Assembly based on the electoral system. He is known for his expertise in the field of security and defense as well as his extensive experience in bilateral and regional cooperation. He is also a key figure in the rise of the defense industry to the point of producing various national brand military assets such as Sadok, Marapati and DHWeapons.

The reaction to Pengiran Muda Ibrahim's election as the new Minister of Defense was positive, with many welcoming this decision as an important step in strengthening the country's defense and addressing current security challenges. Many believe that he will bring the necessary competence and courage to deal with threats from both inside and outside the country.

In addition, Pengiran Muda Ibrahim Ali Omar Shah IV has also expressed his commitment to cooperate with local and international authorities in ensuring the security and sovereignty of Sarawak Darulhana is well preserved. He emphasized that his duty as Minister of Defense is to ensure the safety and well-being of all the people of Sarawak Darulhana. He also promised to strengthen the Sarawak Darulhana defense industry to a level of high prestige and penetrate the global market

With the appointment of Pengiran Muda Ibrahim Ali Omar Shah IV as Minister of Defence, Sarawak Darulhana hopes to enter a new era in the development and security of the country, where cooperation and courage become the mainstay in facing complex and changing challenges at the regional and global level.

GAWAI DAY:THE NATIONAL IMMIGRATION DEPARTMENT IS READY TO FACING BORDER CONGESTION BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES
By Berek Josephppppp

SRI AMAN-The geopolitical tension between the Sarawak Darulhana and the Dayak People's Republic of Sarawak (RRDS) has recently added a significant impact to border security preparations ahead of the Gawai festival, a cultural festival that is highly anticipated by the Dayak people in both countries. The Sarawak Darulhana State Immigration Department is preparing to face the border congestion which is expected to increase with the arrival of visitors from both sides.

The tradition of visiting each other between the residents of Sarawak Darulhana and RRDS during Gawai Day has become a custom passed down from generation to generation. Just like the Aidilfitri festival that saw thousands of people from Brunei enter North Miri through the Sg Tujoh Border Center, so will Gawai later thousands of people from both countries will cross the border to celebrate this festival with family members and friends in the north (Sarawak Darulhana) and south.

However, the increase in border congestion this time is the main concern of the immigration authorities given the growing political tension between the two countries. The controversy that arose following the demand from South Sarawak to secede and destroy North Sarawak has caused the relationship between the two entities to become increasingly tense.

In a statement, the Head of the Sarawak Darulhana Immigration Department, Datu Haji Awang Jemad bin Awang Ismail, underlined that border security and order will be the main priority during the Gawai festival season. He emphasized that his side has increased the level of sensitivity and thoroughness in detecting and dealing with any security threats that may arise during this festive season. For those who want to visit South Sarawak, they should call their family members in South Sarawak and sign a letter to guarantee their safety in South Sarawak at the Entrance. For those who want to enter Sarawak Darulhana, they should go through the Royal Sarawak Darulhana Armed Force Inspection Post for matters safety

In addition, cooperation with local authorities and other security agencies has also been intensified to ensure that border surveillance operations run smoothly and efficiently. The authorities have also increased monitoring capabilities using advanced technology to speed up the process of tracking and verifying the identity of visitors.

Reaction to this border security setup has been a mix of support and concern. Many consider these measures to be proactive measures necessary to ensure the peace and security of all parties, while others express concerns about possible congestion and delays during the entry and exit process at the border.

In the meantime, the residents of Sarawak Darulhana and RRDS are urged to cooperate fully with the authorities and comply with the instructions and procedures that have been set to ensure that the Gawai festival runs smoothly and peacefully. Hopefully, the spirit of tolerance and harmony will continue to overcome the challenges and political tensions that may arise, and the Gawai festival can be celebrated with joy and happiness.

[Diarcesia]

Mundana Forces Navy Conducting Drills Off Giambalaea

GIAMBALAEA - The Mundana Forces Navy is conducting drills with both live and dummy munitions off the coast of Giambalaea. This comes after a period of relative quiet in terms of naval exercises for the navy, which had been focusing more on aerial bombing runs and land-based training scenarios.

The latest exercise was initiated by Navarch Germain Lavoisier, who has taken over command from his predecessor Navarch Jovis Soubise-Pompadour. In a press conference at the fleet's Pronotus Naval HQ, Lavoisier explained that "the purpose behind these exercises is to maintain our readiness for potential combat operations." He also added that while it may seem as though there have not been any recent conflicts involving Mundana Forces ships or sailors, this does not mean they are being neglected.

Navarch Germain Lavoisier taking questions during today's media event (Photo: Charles-Joseph Moulins)

"The world can be an uncertain place," he said. "We must remain vigilant against threats wherever we find them."

Though no specific details were provided about what kind of threat might require such action other than to say they could come from either state actors like the Cybernesa's counterparts or non-state ones like pirates operating outside territorial waters; however one of the more frequent threats that Mundana Forces ships encounter is harassment from rival powers' naval forces. This can range from simple shadowing of Diarcesian ships to more aggressive actions such as buzzings, overflights or simulated attacks with weapons.

Navarch Lavoisier did not provide any specifics about what scenarios are being practiced during these drills, but he assured that they will be "realistic and challenging." He also stated that while no specific enemies were mentioned in the press release for this exercise, it should come as no surprise if Westalian or Yechian vessels show up in a supporting role.

Lavoisier's statements have been met with approval by the retired navarch Soubise-Pompadour and Triarch Hady. The former has praised his successor for taking charge of military matters at an early stage; noting how important it is to maintain good relations between defense establishments across various nations through dialogue rather than confrontation. Meanwhile Madame Hady welcomed his focus on defending international waters against illegal incursions which she believes could lead towards escalation beyond diplomatic solutions sooner than later

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Article by: Sociaphtica López
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[Equai]

Equai-DPRK Solidarity Deepens
Equai and DPRK Announce Historic Military Drill and Treaty in Condemnation of American Imperialism

In a resounding display of solidarity against the recent imperialist machinations of the United States, Equai and the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) have forged an unprecedented agreement, igniting a fervent spirit of cooperation that echoes the ideals of proletarian unity across the globe ion the world dominated by financial and imperial capital.

The heart of this groundbreaking pact lies in a joint military drill slated to take place on the soil of the DPRK, akin to those performed as a provocation in South Korea by the US of A. Under the banner of mutual defense and collective strength, the People's Liberation Armed Forces and Korean People's Army will engage in rigorous training exercises, bolstering their readiness to defend against any encroachment by imperialist aggressors not just on Korean soil but worldwide.

At the core of this alliance is a shared commitment to thwart the insidious designs of American imperialism, which seeks to subjugate sovereign nations under the guise of so-called "democracy" and "freedom", nothing but a buzzwords behind whose the true meaning of imperialist control lays. By joining forces, Equai and the DPRK send a clear and unwavering message to the world: the era of imperialist domination is coming to an end, and the people shall prevail. Moreover, this historic accord extends beyond the realm of military cooperation. In a move that underscores their steadfast dedication to principles of sovereignty and self-determination, Equai and the DPRK have formalized a treaty aimed squarely at countering American imperialism. This treaty, while formal, serves as a bulwark against the relentless tide of imperialist aggression, forging a bond of solidarity that transcends borders and ideologies.

However, in response to this bold display of proletarian solidarity, reactionary forces have attempted to sow discord and division. Romania and North Lege, once ally of Equai who succumbed to the rising tide of reaction in Europe nad became the first Balkan state with openly fascist politician thus acting puppet regime of imperialist powers, have shamelessly colluded to impose draconian measures aimed aEquai. By imposing an all-around ban on traffic originating from Equai, these reactionary regimes seek to undermine the sovereignty and independence of nations that dare to defy imperialist hegemony as well as "unofficially" shake hands with Iron Brigade by further turning its back and going against the Operation Freedom's Hammer. Yet, despite these cowardly acts of aggression, the resolution between Equai and the DPRK remains unshakable. As comrades-in-arms, they stand united against the forces of imperialism and its sister fascism, resolute in their commitment to a world free from exploitation and oppression.

In a poignant reminder of the ongoing struggle against the resurgent evil that never ceased to exist aggression, the recent session of the World Assembly Security Council saw attempts by the United States and Romania to impose sanctions on Equai due to its deservant execution of 15 fascists whom few of them accidentally happen to be of romanian and American descent. Session ended with two stalwart members of the World Assembly Security Council, who wielded their veto power to quash the shameful resolution against our state. This act did not just foiled the sinister ambitions of the United States but showed them that their reign of fear in World Assembly is coming to an end. While those nations might not adhere to the principles of socialism and are still very much capitalist nations their veto votes showed the world that not every capitalist nation is in cahoots with fascists and some are actively working to destroy them.

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05.05.2024

Author: Kaitlyn C.

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[Dyrrhonian Isles]

Article published by Sigma Noosphera Dyrrhonesia

Hostage Rescue Success off Dyrrhonian Coast

RHAMNASIS—In a daring and successful raid, the Special Operations Group of the Mundana Forces has liberated former King Claudius XV Ptolemy Nicholas Philomelus from his pirate captors. Also known as Nicholas the Younger, he is currently in exile after fleeing Kupronikaia due to a revolution that overthrew him.

Sources say that SOG troopers were able to extract Nicholas safely from the pirate flagship despite an intense firefight with the pirate crew. Only a few of the pirates managed to escape after the SOG team destroyed their transport helicopter; they are currently being hunted down by the Mundana Forces Navy and Air Force.

In a radio interview, Nicholas thanked his rescuers for saving him from an "unfortunate situation" and expressed hope that he would be able to return home soon. However, Kupronikaia's new government has already issued arrest warrants against him for various crimes against his people; it is unlikely that they will allow him back into the country without putting him on trial first.

The Diarcesian monarchy also released a statement praising Mundana Forces efforts in fighting piracy off its coast. It said that while Nicholas' fate was ultimately up to Kupronikaia, it hoped that he would receive fair treatment under international law. The Kupronikaian government has issued no comment on the matter.