[SUBMITTED-1/21/21] Of Piqued Pickles and Wounded Watercress

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Inspiration: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Germ ... 4_outbreak

DRAFT 1

[description]When Smalltopia became hit by a puzzling wave of E. coli infections last summer, experts blamed the public health crisis on vegetables imported from @@NAME@@, which culminated in the Smalltopian Ministry of Agriculture's controversial decision to suspend all imports of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ produce until further notice and led many other countries to follow suit. A recent study has revealed, however, that the infections were traceable to the bean sprouts produced at a farm in Smalltopia.

[validity]must have agricultural industry

1. [option]"This is the height of injustice!," cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ farmer, barging into your office with a bundle of freshly-harvested turnips in @@HIS@@ hand and sprinkling dirt on your carpet. "Smalltopian media has been giving us a bad name for months, and our exports basically died out because of this. Look at me, I've had tons of unsold cucumbers rotting in my greenhouses! Smalltopia needs to publicly apologize to our farmers and compensate us for all the revenue we lost; or risk becoming our enemy."

[effect]international law experts dispute whether cucumbers can be the plaintiff in a defamation lawsuit

2. [option]"A half-hearted apology from Smalltopia will hardly help the reputation of our agricultural industry to recover, nor will the compensation cover for ongoing and future losses," mutters @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Propaganda, in dejection; and then @@HIS@@ eyes light up. "But I have an idea! The best way to neutralize the effects of bad publicity is good publicity, so I suggest we start a promotional campaign to show the world how great and nutritious @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ produce is! I am talking about TV ads, celebrity endorsements, flying banners, all that glam and glory that will be irresistible to consumers around the globe. Let us make @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ artichokes the new status symbol!"

[effect]@@CAPITAL@@'s latest tourist attraction is a giant pumpkin carved by a world-famous sculptor

3. [option]"I, for one, think that this affront should not go unpunished," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Underhanded Solutions, with a grim expression. "And unlike my colleague here, I believe the best strategy here would be a counterattack. Why are we glossing over the glaring fact that the E. coli infections originated in SMALLTOPIAN bean sprouts? Clearly, it is the SMALLTOPIAN produce that is not inspected for health risks to an adequate degree. I suggest that we publicize this study and fund similar agricultural studies that expose Smalltopia's poor food safety standards, so the entire world knows about the perils of importing food from them."

[effect]a recent study finds that Smalltopian cucumbers are 96% water

[Trotterdam]

So, wouldn't someone be more interested in compensating @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ farmers for the lost sales, rather than public opinion?

Clearly the scientists and qualified decision-makers have already figured out that there's nothing wrong with @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ produce, and there may or may not be a benefit to a PR campaign to make sure this information spreads to the general public (I mean, wouldn't most people just buy whatever they can find at the supermarket anyway?), but that won't undo several months of backlogged sales.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

So, wouldn't someone be more interested in compensating @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ farmers for the lost sales, rather than public opinion?

Well, that's a great idea. We can definitely add this to the demands from Smalltopia along with an apology

[Trotterdam]

Well, that's a great idea. We can definitely add this to the demands from Smalltopia along with an apology

Now option 2 needs a better explanation why the speaker thinks option 1 is unsatisfactory.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Well, that's a great idea. We can definitely add this to the demands from Smalltopia along with an apology

Now option 2 needs a better explanation why the speaker thinks option 1 is unsatisfactory.

Done?

[Trotterdam]

Done?

Still not sure. I'd assume Smalltopia has already lifted the ban once they figured out we're not to blame, so you need some explanation of why sales are still poor (probably something to do with public perception lagging behind the latest formal studies).

The opening text didn't even say anything at all about our reputation having problems with private customers or with nations other than Smalltopia, just about Smalltopia banning us. The first option does hint a little in this direction, but since that's the option that doesn't try to do anything about it and is content at fixing the problem with Smalltopia specifically, that's the wrong place to put such details.

[Candensia]

As a matter of fact I wrote a draft on a topic at least tangentially similar to this one. It seems not to have passed muster, so if you'd like to pilfer anything from it, please do so.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Done?

The opening text didn't even say anything at all about our reputation having problems with private customers or with nations other than Smalltopia

OK, I mention this in the description now.

Technically, the main adversary here was Smalltopia and it was their public statements that tarnished the reputation of @@DEMONYM@@ food. I think this is why Smalltopia is being held accountable, and is asked to apologize, etc. Bigtopia might have followed in Smalltopia's footsteps, for instance, but it is probably to be hoped that they might change their behavior if the honor of @@DEMONYM@@ produce is restored with pomp and circumstance.

[Baggieland]

I feel that the intro needs a bit of a nod to the fact that the suspension of imports from all these countries is still ongoing, as it is all framed in the past.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

I feel that the intro needs a bit of a nod to the fact that the suspension of imports from all these countries is still ongoing, as it is all framed in the past.

Does it help to say 'until further notice'?

[Baggieland]

Does it help to say 'until further notice'?

Yes, it does.