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[Draft] Commend Vancouvia

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[Draft] Commend Vancouvia

Postby Titanne » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:09 am

The World Assembly,

Recognizing that Vancouvia's founding and subsequent leadership (which continues to this day) of The Western Isles over 5 years ago cannot go ignored, and that over The Western Isles time in existence, the region peaked at over 830 nations occupying it due to the recruitment and appeals that Vancouvia made for it, a notable feat even for the time.

Highlighting that the nominee has served diligently as the World Assembly Delegate for this region since it's inception, playing a significant role in the voting process on proposals, with nearly 180 endorsements at the nation's peak, an oversized and notable number for a region not focused on international affairs, shaping the vote counts in both the Security Council and The General Assembly, showing the great commitment of Vancouvia to this legislative body, and to their region as well,

More recently, under Vancouvia's leadership, The Western Isles continue to punch above their weight in terms of diplomacy, having secured relationships with significantly larger regions such as The Pacific, 10000 Islands, and Europe. Additionally, the region boasts a status in the Top 25 highest regions for World Assembly Endorsements, and in the Top 30 for influence, again, a significant feat for a region with a smaller population than many of the others pulling in at similar positions on these rankings.

Lauding the active contributions of Vancouvia to the community in The Western Isles, and their commitment to the region, having been an active community member for over 5 years and been a vital part of the cultural initiatives taking place in the region, altogether making it a more enjoyable place for others to be,

Additionally recognizing the effective governing system created by the nominee in The Western Isles, featuring a democratically elected government, and a large and prolific Constitution maintained by Vancouvia, which can serve as an inspiration for other nations and regions seeking to create a firm legal basis for themselves. Additionally noting the vastly fleshed out and detailed mandates, information and legislation created for the nation of Vancouvia itself made available for viewing by foreign nations, again serving as inspiration for their own legal bases,

Making note of the upwards of one thousand nations who have made their home in The Western Isles at some point in time, and the stable and protected environment created by the nominee as the Founder and Delegate of the region that is provided to nations who visit the region at any point over the past five years during which the nominee has run the government and guided the region,

Applauding the contributions of Vancouvia to the World Assembly, having authored five resolutions, including three repeals of flawed previous legislation, all of which indicate their commitment to the body, namely:

-the repeal of [resolution=GA#359]the Sexual Health and Education Act[/resolution], a resolution which had created a flawed and inequitable sexual education curriculum,
-the repeal of [resolution=GA#182]the Renewable Research Commitment Resolution[/resolution], a resolution which attempted to promote clean energy but ultimately failed to do so due to poorly thought out mandates, serving as inspiration for the nominee's still-standing unique resolution,
-the repeal of [resolution=GA#303]the Debris Prevention Resolution[/resolution], a resolution which attempted to reduce debris in orbit, but ultimately failed in it's goal due to vague terminology and execution,

all of which, while well intentioned, did not achieve their goals. Adding these to Vancouvia’s still-standing unique resolution (which served as a form of replacement for the Renewable Research Commitment Resolution.)

-[resolution=GA#357]the Promotion of Clean Energy Act[/resolution], which served as a replacement to the Renewable Research Commitment Resolution, and succeeded in promoting and encouraging the use of clean and renewable energy,

Therefore, noting each of the aforementioned accomplishments, the World Assembly

...hereby commends Vancouvia.




Not quite sure why some of the code broke, but here's a first draft for a commendation of Vancouvia. Any and all feedback would be much appreciated.
Last edited by Titanne on Thu Nov 26, 2020 7:18 am, edited 18 times in total.
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Postby Titanne » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:12 am

The actual imperative clause is messy, so any feedback on that in particular would be great.
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Postby Tinhampton » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:12 am

Titanne wrote:Not quite sure why some of the code broke

Because it only works gameside. Your signature, on the other hand... :P

Titanne wrote:Over it's time onsite

Grammar error + some sort of Rule 4 violation.

Titanne wrote:The actual imperative clause is messy, so any feedback on that in particular would be great.

"...hereby commends [NATION/REGION NAME]" is a typical operative clause.
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Postby Titanne » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:14 am

Tinhampton wrote:
Titanne wrote:Not quite sure why some of the code broke

Because it only works gameside. Your signature, on the other hand... :P

Titanne wrote:Over it's time onsite

Grammar error + some sort of Rule 4 violation.

Titanne wrote:The actual imperative clause is messy, so any feedback on that in particular would be great.

"...hereby commends [NATION/REGION NAME]" is a typical operative clause.

Fixed all three.
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Postby Honeydewistania » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:15 am

No.


Rights of Indigenous Peoples was god awful and honestly tarnishes Vancouvia’s other WA achievements. They also were very persistent with Commend Ponderosa and pissed off a lot of people.

Their NWI should be the crux of this to be honest, and the three GA repeals can be added on, if you want this to have a better chance of passing
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Postby Titanne » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:16 am

Honeydewistania wrote:No.


Rights of Indigenous Peoples was god awful and honestly tarnishes Vancouvia’s other WA achievements. They also were very persistent with Commend Ponderosa and pissed off a lot of people.

Their NWI should be the crux of this to be honest, and the three GA repeals can be added on, if you want this to have a better chance of passing

Alright, noted. The references to the Rights of Indigenous Peoples will be removed and more focus and emphasis will be placed on the NWI.
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Postby Honeydewistania » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:17 am

Also, does Vancouvia want this? (This time)
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:22 am

Well after seeing some of the drek drafted today this is a nice change in quality. True the broken formatting needs fixing but this looks a decent attempt apart from the R4 violation (time onsite).

Couple of points from a first read through - maybe more detail about the GA repeals etc. briefly tell us what they did. Secondly, the clauses about TWI should go first, followed by their work in the GA. Personally I think founding and running a region for that length of time is more commendable than their legislating.

There maybe other stuff to improve that I’ve missed, but I’m sure other regulars will point that out.
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Postby Titanne » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:30 am

Honeydewistania wrote:Also, does Vancouvia want this? (This time)

I'm not positive, although I did see the reasoning for the past refusal being the perceived improper drafting of the original commendation (to which this one has no ties). Also, I've added two extra clauses to the proposal further highlighting the Western Isles.
Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Well after seeing some of the drek drafted today this is a nice change in quality. True the broken formatting needs fixing but this looks a decent attempt apart from the R4 violation (time onsite).

Couple of points from a first read through - maybe more detail about the GA repeals etc. briefly tell us what they did. Secondly, the clauses about TWI should go first, followed by their work in the GA. Personally I think founding and running a region for that length of time is more commendable than their legislating.

There maybe other stuff to improve that I’ve missed, but I’m sure other regulars will point that out.

Great, thank you. I'll reorder it and elaborate on the repeals of the three resolutions.
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Postby Titanne » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:38 am

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Well after seeing some of the drek drafted today this is a nice change in quality. True the broken formatting needs fixing but this looks a decent attempt apart from the R4 violation (time onsite).

Couple of points from a first read through - maybe more detail about the GA repeals etc. briefly tell us what they did. Secondly, the clauses about TWI should go first, followed by their work in the GA. Personally I think founding and running a region for that length of time is more commendable than their legislating.

There maybe other stuff to improve that I’ve missed, but I’m sure other regulars will point that out.

Re-ordered to fit these critiques, as well as edited in a short analysis of each repeal and resolution. Oh, and I did fix the R4 violation.
Last edited by Titanne on Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Titanne » Fri Oct 23, 2020 7:54 am

Updated to fit additional critiques made by Orca and Narwhal, and fixed some other small nitpicky grammar and "flow" errors that I noticed.
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Postby Refuge Isle » Fri Oct 23, 2020 1:13 pm

Titanne wrote:The World Assembly,

Recognizing that Vancouvia's founding of The Western Isles over 5 years ago similarly cannot go ignored.

Can it not? Contributing to region building and creating a community where there previously was none is commendable, but founding a region five years ago is not, necessarily. I understand that this sentence is meant ot be a lead-in, but it still suggests that the act of founding something five years ago is the reason we're taking a look at Vancouvia, instead of their history in total.

Over The Western Isles time in existence, the region peaked at over 830 nations occupying it, a notable feat even for the time, especially given that this peak was early in the history of The Western Isles.

There are, of course, a vast multitude of puppet storage regions out there in modern terms, though. 830 nations would be wedged into about 28th in the world amidst a fist full of jump points and card farming regions. We're also not talking about commending TWI. So I'm much more interested in what Vancouvia did in TWI to make it a popin' place, and not whether that region did well or not outside of Vancouvia's contributions.

The nominee has served diligently as the World Assembly Delegate for this region since it's inception, playing a significant role in the voting process on proposals, with nearly 180 endorsements at the nation's peak, to both the Security Council and The General Assembly, showing the great commitment of Vancouvia to this legislative body, and to their region as well.

It unclear to me if having a lot of endorsements is a commendable action. Certainly voting on resolutions isn't - it's the fuction of a delegate. How were they a leader in this position? How did they advance interest in World Assembly affairs in TWI?

a significant feat for a region relatively young and with a smaller population than many of the others pulling in at similar positions on these rankings.

Is five and a half years young? Discarding places who are very proud to have been around long enough to remember the invention of bronze, nearly six years is quite a while for a UCR that still has people in it. Certainly it's possible to get badges for non-decaying UCR influence in that time. Having 25ish endorsements on a nation for some 2000 days should be enough to get anyone into the top 750-1000 in the world for influence if they just log in once a week.

and the nominee has clearly shown a commitment to the General Assembly of this organization that cannot go unoticed.

This feels like a sentence fragment that lost its home.

and recording the past attempt at commending this nation, and Vancouvia's humbleness in refusing the proposal on the grounds that it was improperly drafted, and impressed by this act of selflessness and respect for the procedure and prestige of this Security Council, this legislative body hereby takes notice of all these accomplishments, and

I'm not immediately sure that noting a commendation of the target was already tried and failed adds anything to the proposal. I also don't personally believe that "the target voted it down because it wasn't good enough" speaks to anything about their selflessness...

Misc: In my opinion, using a region or nation tag is kind of like going "What the heck is going on? I'm talking about this: [*link*]", so probably tagging them when you first mention them (and the operative clause) is good, but subsequent repeat tags of the same region/nation is probably unnecessary.
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Postby Lord Dominator » Fri Oct 23, 2020 2:13 pm

On a general point, I would agree about the use of nation/region tags - use them the once the first time and then never again (except perhaps to relink the nominee in the Commend clause) :p
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Postby Titanne » Fri Oct 23, 2020 2:32 pm

Noted both of these, will address them later tonight. Thank you both! :hug:
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Postby Titanne » Fri Oct 23, 2020 2:55 pm

I believe I have addressed each of the issues raised, but I’m sure there’s something I’ve forgotten or left problematic in my revisions. Any other remaining feedback much appreciated! :p
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Postby Wayneactia » Fri Oct 23, 2020 8:19 pm

Vancouvia, much like Bitley operates under the policy of trying to "buy" resoultions. Given the fact he was in league with Bitely, I highly doubt this has a chance of passing.

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Postby Titanne » Fri Oct 23, 2020 8:28 pm

Wayneactia wrote:Vancouvia, much like Bitley operates under the policy of trying to "buy" resoultions. Given the fact he was in league with Bitely, I highly doubt this has a chance of passing.

Apologies, who's Bitely and what is buying a resolution?
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Postby Wayneactia » Fri Oct 23, 2020 8:32 pm

Titanne wrote:
Wayneactia wrote:Vancouvia, much like Bitley operates under the policy of trying to "buy" resoultions. Given the fact he was in league with Bitely, I highly doubt this has a chance of passing.

Apologies, who's Bitely and what is buying a resolution?

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Postby Honeydewistania » Fri Oct 23, 2020 9:05 pm

Titanne wrote:
Wayneactia wrote:Vancouvia, much like Bitley operates under the policy of trying to "buy" resoultions. Given the fact he was in league with Bitely, I highly doubt this has a chance of passing.

Apologies, who's Bitely and what is buying a resolution?

Really irritating nuisance and buying a res is spending a shit ton of money on stamps to pass sub-par resolutions
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Postby Titanne » Fri Oct 23, 2020 9:22 pm

Honeydewistania wrote:
Titanne wrote:Apologies, who's Bitely and what is buying a resolution?

Really irritating nuisance and buying a res is spending a shit ton of money on stamps to pass sub-par resolutions

Ah. Thanks for the explanation. However, I don't think this association nor this persistence outweighs the other contributions of Vancouvia, particularly in the arena of their region, so I believe there are still plenty of reasons for a commendation.

EDIT: Eeek! Really, WiFi, really?
Last edited by Titanne on Fri Oct 23, 2020 9:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Wayneactia » Fri Oct 23, 2020 9:59 pm

Titanne wrote:
Honeydewistania wrote:Really irritating nuisance and buying a res is spending a shit ton of money on stamps to pass sub-par resolutions

Ah. Thanks for the explanation. However, I don't think this association nor this persistence outweighs the other contributions of Vancouvia, particularly in the arena of their region, so I believe there are still plenty of reasons for a commendation.

EDIT: Eeek! Really, WiFi, really?

Vancouvia rules TWI with an iron fist. Given the fact that he used every tag in the game on that region in order to recruit (including fascist, until he ran the risk of being listed by CAIN), The Western Isles really hasn't achieved anything of note. I will give credit that the whole experiment of keeping EVERYTHING on the site, and not using forums was a ground breaking risk. Now given the widespread use of Discord, it really isn't that uncommon as much.

Hard pass from me. I do think it is well written, but I don't believe the target has done much of anything of note to warrant full recognition by the WA.

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Postby Titanne » Sat Oct 24, 2020 7:11 am

Wayneactia wrote:
Titanne wrote:Ah. Thanks for the explanation. However, I don't think this association nor this persistence outweighs the other contributions of Vancouvia, particularly in the arena of their region, so I believe there are still plenty of reasons for a commendation.

EDIT: Eeek! Really, WiFi, really?

Vancouvia rules TWI with an iron fist. Given the fact that he used every tag in the game on that region in order to recruit (including fascist, until he ran the risk of being listed by CAIN), The Western Isles really hasn't achieved anything of note. I will give credit that the whole experiment of keeping EVERYTHING on the site, and not using forums was a ground breaking risk. Now given the widespread use of Discord, it really isn't that uncommon as much.

Hard pass from me. I do think it is well written, but I don't believe the target has done much of anything of note to warrant full recognition by the WA.

Disappointing, but understandable.
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Postby Titanne » Sun Oct 25, 2020 1:47 pm

Edited for a few more grammatical errors.
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Postby Refuge Isle » Sun Oct 25, 2020 10:46 pm

Titanne wrote:Recognizing that Vancouvia's founding and subsequent leadership (which continues to this day) of The Western Isles over 5 years ago similarly cannot go ignored. Over The Western Isles time in existence, the region peaked at over 830 nations occupying it due to the recruitment and appeals that Vancouvia made for it, a notable feat even for the time, especially given that this peak was early in the history of The Western Isles. The nominee has served diligently as the World Assembly Delegate for this region since it's inception, playing a significant role in the voting process on proposals, with nearly 180 endorsements at the nation's peak, an oversized and notable number for a region not focused on international affairs, shaping the vote counts in both the Security Council and The General Assembly, showing the great commitment of Vancouvia to this legislative body, and to their region as well,


This is a mega-chonker. I would absolutely recommend splitting this in two.

Titanne wrote:Lauding the active contributions of Vancouvia to the community in The Western Isles, and their commitment to the region, having stuck with it for over 5 years and been a vital part of the cultural initiatives taking place in the region, altogether making it a more enjoyable place for others to be,

The phrase "stuck with it" is very strange to me. Can commitment be expressed in another way?

and recording the past attempt at commending this nation, and Vancouvia’s humbleness in refusing the proposal on the grounds that it was improperly drafted, and impressed by this act of respect for the procedure and prestige of this Security Council, this legislative body hereby takes notice of all these accomplishments, and


My opposition to this clause remains, but I assume I will be unable to change your mind about it.
Last edited by Refuge Isle on Sun Oct 25, 2020 10:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Titanne » Mon Oct 26, 2020 6:11 am

Edited to all three points from Refuge Isle.
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