Condemn East Borland?

[Heale]

The Following is a draft, with some help from Tinhampton:

UNDERSTANDING that nations have the right to have their own ideals.

FEARFUL, however, that East Borland is manipulating this right to it's extreme.

NOTICING that East Borland's wealth gaps are 1,203rd in the Universe, and the upper class earn their money by crimes that could be considered genocidal.

AWARE, that East Borland has the 7th largest mining industry in the Universe, and with their abolishment of the court system, is almost certianly gained off their lower class as emigration is illegal, and slavery is not.

HORRIFIED, that East Borland's national trade is trading slaves for goods, and torturing them as with making them eat their own kin, as their obesity rates are the 10th highest in the Universe.

REALIZING that this is because of the East Borlandian government accepting 399 in 400 bribes, and having the highest corruption rates in the Universe, and keep a system of the wealthy bribing the government to keep slave labor intact.

Hereby Condemns, The Exalted Supremacy of East Borland

[Heale]

Ik i submitted this to SC, Tinhampton says I should get some critique.
I would like to know how I could do better on this.

[Outer Sparta]

Then why did you submit it to the SC in the first place?

[The New California Republic]

Don't see anything in here that is enough to warrant a condemnation, as plenty of nations in the WA have some really weird policies and stats and yet they don't get condemned.

[Heale]

Don't see anything in here that is enough to warrant a condemnation, as plenty of nations in the WA have some really weird policies and stats and yet they don't get condemned.

Thank you for your critique!

[Praeceps]

What's the point in providing feedback on a submitted proposal?

[Goobergunchia]

What's the point in providing feedback on a submitted proposal?

We must associate ourselves with the remarks of the ambassador from Praeceps. A shame, really, as if nothing else another pair of eyes could have caught the incorrect usage of "it's" in the second preambulatory clause or the inconsistent comma usage following the initial word in each clause.

Madeleine Kofelgas
Deputy Ambassador to the World Assembly
Liberal Unitary Republic of Goobergunchia

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

A nominee that, in terms of being appropriate to condemn, can only be described as mediocre. No support.

[Heale]

A nominee that, in terms of being appropriate to condemn, can only be described as mediocre. No support.

got it.

[Heale]

What's the point in providing feedback on a submitted proposal?

We must associate ourselves with the remarks of the ambassador from Praeceps. A shame, really, as if nothing else another pair of eyes could have caught the incorrect usage of "it's" in the second preambulatory clause or the inconsistent comma usage following the initial word in each clause.

Madeleine Kofelgas
Deputy Ambassador to the World Assembly
Liberal Unitary Republic of Goobergunchia

Ok. remember, I can always resubmit it. I get excited easily. Anyway, yes, I can clear that up. However, I doubt that would lose me any approvals if I were to resubmit it like that.