Blood and Iron
Validity: Has a military.
Description
After a group of defense industry lobbyists and busboys were awarded the @@NAME@@ Grand Medal of Peace, one of the nation's top military honors, the question of whether military decorations are being devalued through over-saturation has become the latest time-wasting dilemma to hit your desk.
Option 1
"Decorations are critical to our military heritage," asserts Rear Admiral @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, having just returned from his latest chest enlargement surgery. "However, I agree that giving out awards for everything under the sun is getting real old real fast. Only top brass should have the authority to issue medals, and only for truly exceptional service."
Effect: top generals award themselves medals for not awarding anyone else medals
Option 2
"Yeah they're critical, so why are we getting rid of 'em?" protests Corporal- no, Private @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose rank is difficult to make out underneath a wall of decorations. "Awards and medals are important for keeping morale up and giving common soldiers a reason to fight. Because let's be real, we ain't in it for the money. Speaking of which, could we get a bit more of that? Thanks. Sir."
Effect: metal detectors have been removed from all military bases
Option 3
"Or we could just eliminate these pointless awards entirely," says journalist @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ puts the finishing touches on @@HIS@@ Bullitzer Prize acceptance speech. "Handing out prizes for defending one's homeland is a symptom of an increasingly materialistic society. After all, shouldn't serving one's country be its own reward?"
Effect: senior military commanders are often mistaken for janitors
