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[LAST CALL] Commend Morover

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Noahs Second Country
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[LAST CALL] Commend Morover

Postby Noahs Second Country » Thu Sep 17, 2020 4:32 am

I’ve been sitting on this one for a while.

You may notice that this isn’t my typical writing - the intention was to emulate Morover’s distinctive style as a pastiche of sorts. I used adjectives and phrasing from their SC writing to do so. Of course, I did receive approval prior to pursuing this. I may add "Commend Kuriko" as a fourth bullet point under the "Lauding" clause, assuming it passes.

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Commend Morover
A resolution to recognise outstanding achievement by a nation or region.
Category: Commendation
Nominee: Morover


This most grand, impressive, and august Security Council,

Seeing that many nations send their avowed delegations to the hallowed halls of the World Assembly, yet an equitable few truly rise to the level of the delegation sent by Morover,

Understanding that this delegation treats World Assembly legislation as more important than their own national laws, demonstrating the sheer level of dedication they have to creating an inclusive and safe international environment,

Awed by the Morovian delegation’s ability to survive and thrive inside of the Festering Snakepit known as the General Assembly, where they have passed six resolutions, including:
Lauding the Morovian ambassador Gregory Perise, who has spearheaded the development of seven successful and well regarded resolutions presented to this fine and enlightened Security Council body, including but not limited to:
  • SC#297: Condemn Tinfect, which righteously exposed the hypocritical and dangerous practices of Tinfect, whose impact on the General Assembly chamber is incalculable,
  • SC#301: Repeal: "Condemn This Game", accountable for repealing a piece of legislation uncouth enough to bring the disgusting practices of satirical writing upon this noble alignment of nations,
  • SC#305: Condemn Psychotic Dictatorships, responsible for finally condemning a repulsive consolidation of dictatorships, moreover, the Morovian delegation made the decision in this piece to doubt the supposedly fragrant feet belonging to DEAREST LEADER, a wholly dangerous endeavor,
  • SC#328: Commend Kuriko, which served to recognize one of the most well regarded and successful defenders in this chamber's history;
Glad to see that the nation of Morover has used their experience and expertise to assist other delegations as an independent nation, Minister of World Assembly Affairs in The North Pacific, and Deputy Officer of World Assembly Affairs in The Rejected Realms by:
  • Debating the merits of dozens of proposals within the World Assembly’s drafting chambers,
  • Ensuring proper consolidation of regional power in the World Assembly through production of Information for Voter pamphlets in a timely manner,
  • Successfully hosting the Second World Assembly Symposium, where intellectuals from the World Assembly congregated to debate various important contemporary topics to determine the future of this very body;
Thoroughly dismayed that the glorious honor of commendation has not yet been thrust upon such a deserving nation by the well-endowed participants of these Consecrated Corridors,

Hereby Commends Morover.


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Commend Morover
A resolution to recognise outstanding achievement by a nation or region.
Category: Commendation
Nominee: Morover


This most grand, impressive, and august Security Council,

Seeing that many nations send their avowed delegations to the hallowed halls of the World Assembly, yet an equitable few truly rise to the level of the delegation sent by Morover,

Understanding that this delegation treats World Assembly legislation as more important than their own national laws, demonstrating the sheer level of dedication they have to creating an inclusive and safe international environment,

Awed by the Morovian delegation’s ability to survive and thrive inside of the Festering Snakepit known as the General Assembly, where they have passed six resolutions, including:
  • GA#467, responsible for officially recognizing transgender individuals and ensuring affordable hormone therapy for those that consent, making major strides in the treatment and proper care of those who identify as transgender throughout the multiverse,
  • GA#492, which tasked the EPARC with the goal of preventing the spread of disease via improperly sterilized medical instruments, clamping down on bad sanitation practices that may have occurred prior to this piece of legislation,
  • GA#493, which maximizes the accessibility and effectiveness of educational institutions and other functions for deaf individuals,
  • GA#497, responsible for highlighting egregious flaws that managed to slip through the cracks of a formerly passed resolution,
Lauding the Morovian ambassador Gregory Perise, who, despite being banished from the General Assembly for their awful proposals, has spearheaded the development of seven successful and well regarded resolutions presented to this fine and enlightened Security Council body, including but not limited to:
  • SC#297, which righteously exposed the hypocritical and dangerous practices of Tinfect, whose impact on the General Assembly chamber is incalculable,
  • SC#301, accountable for repealing a piece of legislation uncouth enough to bring the disgusting practices of satirical writing upon this noble alignment of nations,
  • SC#305, responsible for finally condemning a repulsive consolidation of dictatorships, moreover, the Morovian delegation made the gutsy decision in this piece to doubt the supposedly fragrant feet belonging to DEAREST LEADER, a wholly dangerous endeavor,
Glad to see that the nation of Morover has used their experience and expertise to assist other delegations as an independent nation, Minister of World Assembly Affairs in The North Pacific, and Deputy Officer of World Assembly Affairs in The Rejected Realms by:
  • Debating the merits of dozens of proposals within the World Assembly’s drafting chambers,
  • Ensuring proper consolidation of regional power in the World Assembly through production of Information for Voter pamphlets in a timely manner,
  • Successfully hosting the World Assembly Symposium, where intellectuals from the World Assembly congregated to debate various important contemporary topics to determine the future of this very body,
Thoroughly dismayed that the glorious honor of commendation has not yet been thrust upon such a deserving nation by the well-endowed participants of these Consecrated Corridors,

Hereby Commends Morover
Last edited by Noahs Second Country on Tue Oct 27, 2020 8:29 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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Callunia
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Postby Callunia » Thu Sep 17, 2020 4:37 am

OK draft; wait fo gensec

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Postby Honeydewistania » Thu Sep 17, 2020 5:06 am

Tentative against - while I have no doubt that Morover is (or will soon be) commendable, I’m not thoroughly convinced from this that they are.

Anyways, a little bit of feedback: (not that it’s super important, since this’ll pass anyway)

1. I’m not sure if 467 officially recognised transgenders since that part was mostly perambulatory, but I’m probably wrong.

2. Put names of the resolutions please. Your 497 clause gives me no clue at all what it’s referring to.

3. The debating and IFV production is barely special, if that’s so I shall soon expect Cretox to receive their commendation.

4. You may want to include a section on them being the Tulafale of Warzone Sanbox (bringing stability to a volatile region etc)
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Thu Sep 17, 2020 5:07 am

First read through is very favourable. Like the writing style and the detail. I’ll get more from a second and third read later.

Nations like Bala Mantre and Herzgevenia (to name but two recent disgraceful appearances in these hallowed halls) should read and learn.
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Noahs Second Country
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Postby Noahs Second Country » Thu Sep 17, 2020 5:39 am

Callunia wrote:OK draft; wait fo gensec

I have no idea what this means.
Tentative against - while I have no doubt that Morover is (or will soon be) commendable, I’m not thoroughly convinced from this that they are.

Anyways, a little bit of feedback: (not that it’s super important, since this’ll pass anyway)

1. I’m not sure if 467 officially recognised transgenders since that part was mostly perambulatory, but I’m probably wrong.

I'll look into this a bit more - GA has never been my strong suit.
2. Put names of the resolutions please. Your 497 clause gives me no clue at all what it’s referring to.

Good idea, will definitely do this in the next draft.
3. The debating and IFV production is barely special, if that’s so I shall soon expect Cretox to receive their commendation.
It may not be "special" but Morover has been a consistent contributor and that should be recognized. Not every point of a resolution has to be a life-changing action, these things build up.
4. You may want to include a section on them being the Tulafale of Warzone Sanbox (bringing stability to a volatile region etc)

I am aware of this and definitely considering tacking on something to the end - if someone could clarify exactly what Morover accomplished (either in this thread, TG, Discord, etc.) that would be much appreciated.
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Postby Honeydewistania » Thu Sep 17, 2020 5:53 am

Also since you excluded Commend Kuriko, change the 7 to a 6.

I am aware of this and definitely considering tacking on something to the end - if someone could clarify exactly what Morover accomplished (either in this thread, TG, Discord, etc.) that would be much appreciated.


You don’t have to put anything, just make up some bullshit like I did about stabilising the region (which is slightly true). I think Tulafale is Head of Government or something.
Last edited by Honeydewistania on Thu Sep 17, 2020 5:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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GA#494 Regulating Desalination
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GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"
GA#507 Repeal "Promotion of Recycling"
GA#511 Ensuring Effectual Recycling
GA#518 Reducing Disease Vectors

SC#315 Commend Vippertooth33
SC#320 Condemn Noahs Second Country
SC#324 Commend The Red Fleet

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Noahs Second Country
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Postby Noahs Second Country » Thu Sep 17, 2020 8:34 am

Honeydewistania wrote:
I am aware of this and definitely considering tacking on something to the end - if someone could clarify exactly what Morover accomplished (either in this thread, TG, Discord, etc.) that would be much appreciated.


You don’t have to put anything, just make up some bullshit like I did about stabilising the region (which is slightly true). I think Tulafale is Head of Government or something.

I'm not going to make something up - resolutions should be factual. At worst, they are a bit embellishing.
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Postby Outer Sparta » Thu Sep 17, 2020 8:38 am

Have you gotten Morover's feedback on this possible commendation?
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Postby Noahs Second Country » Thu Sep 17, 2020 8:50 am

Outer Sparta wrote:Have you gotten Morover's feedback on this possible commendation?

Yes, they approved of it.
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Postby Refuge Isle » Thu Sep 17, 2020 10:56 am

Noahs Second Country wrote:GA#467, responsible for officially recognizing transgender individuals and ensuring affordable hormone therapy for those that consent, making major strides in the treatment and proper care of those who identify as transgender throughout the multiverse,

Strictly speaking, I don't think that transgender people identify as such, so much as the identify as another gender, and are transgender by circumstance.

Noahs Second Country wrote:GA#493, which maximizes the accessibility and effectiveness of educational institutions and other functions for deaf individuals,

"educational institutions and other functions" doesn't make much sense to me. Can this wording be improved?

SC#305, responsible for finally condemning a repulsive consolidation of dictatorships, moreover, the Morovian delegation made the gutsy decision in this piece to doubt the supposedly fragrant feet belonging to DEAREST LEADER, a wholly dangerous endeavor,

"Gutsy" is a weird word use that feels a bit out of place for the WA. Was this intentional?

Overall, I like the draft and would support it, Morover has done a powerful amount of work for the WA and we're all the better for it. Hopefully a commend Kuriko could be added to the SC section for both the achievement and the symmetry.
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Postby Cretox State » Thu Sep 17, 2020 6:26 pm

Support.

Noahs Second Country wrote:This most grand, impressive, and august Security Council,

Seeing that many nations send their avowed delegations to the hallowed halls of the World Assembly, yet an equitable few truly rise to the level of the delegation sent by Morover,

Understanding that this delegation treats World Assembly legislation as more important than their own national laws, demonstrating the sheer level of dedication they have to creating an inclusive and safe international environment,

Awed by the Morovian delegation’s ability to survive and thrive inside of the Festering Snakepit known as the General Assembly, where they have passed six resolutions, including

I like the emulation!

Noahs Second Country wrote:GA#467, responsible for officially recognizing transgender individuals and ensuring affordable hormone therapy for those that consent, making major strides in the treatment and proper care of those who identify as transgender throughout the multiverse

First off, I agree that naming the resolutions in question could be a good change here. Second, maybe just reuse "transgender individuals" the second time instead of saying "identify as transgender"?

On to the fun stuff:

Noahs Second Country wrote:Glad to see that the nation of Morover has used their experience and expertise to assist other delegations as an independent nation, Minister of World Assembly Affairs in The North Pacific, and Deputy Officer of World Assembly Affairs in The Rejected Realms by:
  • Debating the merits of dozens of proposals within the World Assembly’s drafting chambers,
  • Ensuring proper consolidation of regional power in the World Assembly through production of Information for Voter pamphlets in a timely manner,
  • Successfully hosting the World Assembly Symposium, where intellectuals from the World Assembly congregated to debate various important contemporary topics to determine the future of this very body,

Honeydewistania wrote:3. The debating and IFV production is barely special, if that’s so I shall soon expect Cretox to receive their commendation.

Current TNP MoWAA here (these are my personal opinions). So, IFVs are inherently a group effort that is overseen by the Minister. Yes, I did write many of the IFVs used over the past few months. However, it is ultimately the Minister's responsibility to ensure that the functions of the Ministry (such as IFV distribution) are performed in a timely and efficient manner, and the buck stops with the Minister when it comes to that. Morover has done an excellent job of this and performing his role as Minister overall, and that should definitely be recognized. Additionally, being the primary organizer for the Symposium was no small feat. The debating part rounds off the commendation nicely, even if it isn't commendable in itself. The proposal in no way suffers from its inclusion.

My one complaint regarding this proposal is just that it feels... disappointing, I guess? Morover should definitely be commended, and could easily be commended for what's in the proposal right now. However, as I've said multiple times: the circumstances under which Morover became TNP Minister of WAA led to an abridged term for them and did their abilities little justice. I'd be far more supportive if Morover were able to serve out a full term that were able to plan for, and had the opportunity to live up to their full potential in this area.

Obviously, I can't speak on Morover's behalf. However, they do not intend to seek another regional government position in the near future to my knowledge due to RL constraints. Therefore, it is highly unlikely that delaying this commendation will yield additional commend-worthy material other than Commend Kuriko (which should definitely be included when/if it passes IMO).

Refuge Isle wrote:Overall, I like the draft and would support it, Morover has done a powerful amount of work for the WA and we're all the better for it. Hopefully a commend Kuriko could be added to the SC section for both the achievement and the symmetry.

I completely agree.
Last edited by Cretox State on Thu Sep 17, 2020 6:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Tinhampton » Thu Sep 17, 2020 9:19 pm

I'm not complaining about your Moroverian pastiche and I definitely agree with Commending Morover in principle; my main concern is with HOW you present his resolutions:

Commend Morover wrote:[Morover's] delegation treats World Assembly legislation as more important than their own national laws, demonstrating the sheer level of dedication they have to creating an inclusive and safe international environment,

Why shouldn't they?

Commend Morover wrote:GA#467, responsible for officially recognizing transgender individuals [...]

Wasn't that achieved by GA#91, A Convention on Gender (and perhaps GA#457 to a lesser extent)? GA#467 merely asserts in its preamble that "[t]ransgender and gender non-binary people are real."

Commend Morover wrote:GA#492, which tasked the EPARC with the goal of preventing the spread of disease via improperly sterilized medical instruments, clamping down on bad sanitation practices that may have occurred prior to this piece of legislation,

Proper Hygiene... was not the first resolution of its kind to be passed in 2020, let alone the history of the WA: Morover first had to repeal GA#482 before his resolution could be passed.

Commend Morover wrote:GA#493, which maximizes the accessibility and effectiveness of educational institutions and other functions for deaf individuals,

LERDI mostly seems to focus on the establishment of schools for the deaf :P

Commend Morover wrote:the Morovian ambassador Gregory Perise [was] banished from the General Assembly for their awful proposals

Were they? Forgive me, I'm not too well-versed about those incidents :P

Commend Morover wrote:Successfully hosting the World Assembly Symposium

Just the second one?
Last edited by Tinhampton on Thu Sep 17, 2020 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Honeydewistania » Fri Sep 18, 2020 2:23 am

There should be a full stop after 'Hereby commends Morover'
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Retired Regional Military Director of Lazarus
Posts OOC unless marked otherwise.
Ambassador to the WA: Benji Schubert Hepperle
Assistant to the Ambassador: Rekeil Wrigglesworth II
Official Coffee-fetcher and Masseuse: Jonathan Santos de Oliveira

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Biggest acheivement: Spelling
GA#494 Regulating Desalination
GA#498 Ban on Forced Blood Sports
GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"
GA#507 Repeal "Promotion of Recycling"
GA#511 Ensuring Effectual Recycling
GA#518 Reducing Disease Vectors

SC#315 Commend Vippertooth33
SC#320 Condemn Noahs Second Country
SC#324 Commend The Red Fleet

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Postby Noahs Second Country » Fri Sep 18, 2020 2:40 am

Noahs Second Country wrote:GA#467, responsible for officially recognizing transgender individuals and ensuring affordable hormone therapy for those that consent, making major strides in the treatment and proper care of those who identify as transgender throughout the multiverse,

Strictly speaking, I don't think that transgender people identify as such, so much as the identify as another gender, and are transgender by circumstance.

Noahs Second Country wrote:GA#493, which maximizes the accessibility and effectiveness of educational institutions and other functions for deaf individuals,

"educational institutions and other functions" doesn't make much sense to me. Can this wording be improved?

First off, I agree that naming the resolutions in question could be a good change here. Second, maybe just reuse "transgender individuals" the second time instead of saying "identify as transgender"?

Wasn't that achieved by GA#91, A Convention on Gender (and perhaps GA#457 to a lesser extent)? GA#467 merely asserts in its preamble that "[t]ransgender and gender non-binary people are real."
Proper Hygiene... was not the first resolution of its kind to be passed in 2020, let alone the history of the WA: Morover first had to repeal GA#482 before his resolution could be passed.

LERDI mostly seems to focus on the establishment of schools for the deaf :P

Thanks for the input everyone, I'll look through everything and ensure everything is correct there in the next draft, along with expanding the names of the resolutions.
SC#305, responsible for finally condemning a repulsive consolidation of dictatorships, moreover, the Morovian delegation made the gutsy decision in this piece to doubt the supposedly fragrant feet belonging to DEAREST LEADER, a wholly dangerous endeavor,

"Gutsy" is a weird word use that feels a bit out of place for the WA. Was this intentional?

I don't see a particular issue with use of the word "gutsy" - I think it contributes well to the clause as a whole. However, saying both "gutsy" and "wholly dangerous" may be slightly redundant so I'll reevaluate that.
Overall, I like the draft and would support it, Morover has done a powerful amount of work for the WA and we're all the better for it. Hopefully a commend Kuriko could be added to the SC section for both the achievement and the symmetry.

I'll definitely add Commend Kuriko, a fourth SC resolution will make the whole proposal look much better because what truly matters is the a e s t h e t i c.
My one complaint regarding this proposal is just that it feels... disappointing, I guess? Morover should definitely be commended, and could easily be commended for what's in the proposal right now. However, as I've said multiple times: the circumstances under which Morover became TNP Minister of WAA led to an abridged term for them and did their abilities little justice. I'd be far more supportive if Morover were able to serve out a full term that were able to plan for, and had the opportunity to live up to their full potential in this area.

Obviously, I can't speak on Morover's behalf. However, they do not intend to seek another regional government position in the near future to my knowledge due to RL constraints. Therefore, it is highly unlikely that delaying this commendation will yield additional commend-worthy material other than Commend Kuriko (which should definitely be included when/if it passes IMO).

Yeah, this is why I was waiting to actually post the draft. If Morover were to pursue another government position/post a bunch of new drafts right now, it would be worth holding off. However, Morover has expressed their intentions to slow down quite a bit so I feel that this timing is appropriate.
Why shouldn't they?

It's something that one of Morover's factbooks explicitly states - I think it's appropriate to include such a clause, especially since Morover has a tendency to include RP/stats/similar items in their own resolutions.
Were they? Forgive me, I'm not too well-versed about those incidents :P

Just a RP note more than anything. Makes the proposal a bit more personal.
Just the second one?

Oops, as a lover of second things I can't believe I missed the opportunity to note that.
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Postby The Emirate of The Emirate » Mon Sep 21, 2020 2:07 pm

i was thinking of writing this proposal
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Postby Ransium » Mon Sep 21, 2020 8:54 pm

I think you forgot this -> .

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Postby Praeceps » Tue Sep 22, 2020 7:04 pm

I first became a TNP citizen in 2016. Without a doubt, Morover is one of the best, if not the best MoWAAs I have ever seen. That being said, he was only the Minister for a term and it remains to see whether his effects are able to last in the future (so far, they are).

The six resolutions in each chamber (so far) is impressive so this has my support.
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Postby Noahs Second Country » Thu Oct 01, 2020 5:52 am

The appropriate changes have been implemented.
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Postby Honeydewistania » Thu Oct 01, 2020 5:54 am

despite being banished from the General Assembly for their awful proposals

I know this is supposed to be funny, but it seems a little counterproductive to say Morover is good at GA then state that they’ve been banished for being awful at it
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Retired Regional Military Director of Lazarus
Posts OOC unless marked otherwise.
Ambassador to the WA: Benji Schubert Hepperle
Assistant to the Ambassador: Rekeil Wrigglesworth II
Official Coffee-fetcher and Masseuse: Jonathan Santos de Oliveira

The MT Army Warrior
Biggest acheivement: Spelling
GA#494 Regulating Desalination
GA#498 Ban on Forced Blood Sports
GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"
GA#507 Repeal "Promotion of Recycling"
GA#511 Ensuring Effectual Recycling
GA#518 Reducing Disease Vectors

SC#315 Commend Vippertooth33
SC#320 Condemn Noahs Second Country
SC#324 Commend The Red Fleet

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Postby Debussy » Tue Oct 20, 2020 10:51 pm

Honeydewistania wrote:
despite being banished from the General Assembly for their awful proposals

I know this is supposed to be funny, but it seems a little counterproductive to say Morover is good at GA then state that they’ve been banished for being awful at it

Yeah, what?

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Postby Noahs Second Country » Sat Oct 24, 2020 5:33 am

Honeydewistania wrote:
despite being banished from the General Assembly for their awful proposals

I know this is supposed to be funny, but it seems a little counterproductive to say Morover is good at GA then state that they’ve been banished for being awful at it

Removed - the draft will be submitted soon unless any major issues come up.
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Postby Honeydewistania » Sat Oct 24, 2020 6:30 am

Noahs Second Country wrote:This most grand, impressive, and august Security Council,


Firstly, it’s neither one of those three things. Secondly, I knows you’re trying to emulate Morover, but it’s bad enough with only ‘august’, but this is literal overkill. You can do the Morover style after this sentence please.

GA#492: Proper Hygiene For Medical Instruments, which tasked the EPARC with the goal of preventing the spread of disease via improperly sterilized medical instruments, clamping down on bad sanitation practices,

Outside of the GA, no one knows what the EPARC is, so use the full name ‘Epidemic and Pandemic Alert and Response Centre’.

GA#497: Repeal: "Military Identification Tag Act", responsible for highlighting egregious flaws that managed to slip through the cracks of a formerly passed resolution,


I’d recommend you include one of these flaws.

Thoroughly dismayed that the glorious honor of commendation has not yet been thrust upon such a deserving nation by the well-endowed participants of these Consecrated Corridors,


The ‘whining that someone hasn’t been commended yet’ clauses are rather superfluous and I’d prefer if this one didn’t have one.

Overall, I feel like the crux of the resolution should fall on the contributions to regional WA programs, rather than the resolutions themselves, so I feel like they are rather understated in this resolution
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Marxist Germany
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Corporate Bordello

Postby Marxist Germany » Sat Oct 24, 2020 6:33 am

OOC: As much as I thing Morover has been a net positive and a great member of the GA community, I do not think he deserves an SC Commend yet; he has not contributed enough compared to most Commendees, and I would prefer to see more of his future achievements in a resolution. Moreover (haha), I think the proposal looks far too much like a laundry list, perhaps cut down on the lists and integrate them into paragraphs?

Awed by the Morovian delegation’s ability to survive and thrive inside of the Festering Snakepit known as the General Assembly, where they have passed six resolutions, including:

GA#467: Affordable Transgender Hormone Therapy, responsible for ensuring affordable hormone therapy for transgender individuals that consent, making major strides in the treatment and proper care of such individuals throughout the multiverse,
GA#492: Proper Hygiene For Medical Instruments, which tasked the EPARC with the goal of preventing the spread of disease via improperly sterilized medical instruments, clamping down on bad sanitation practices,
GA#493: Language And Education Rights For Deaf Individuals, which maximizes the accessibility and effectiveness of educational institutions for deaf individuals,
GA#497: Repeal: "Military Identification Tag Act", responsible for highlighting egregious flaws that managed to slip through the cracks of a formerly passed resolution,


Into

Awed by the Morovian delegation’s ability to survive and thrive inside of the Festering Snakepit known as the General Assembly, where they have passed six resolutions, including (remove including; the colon is used to denote "which is/are", "and that is" etc.): GA#467, Affordable Transgender Hormone Therapy, responsible for ensuring affordable hormone therapy for transgender individuals that consent, making major strides in the treatment and proper care of such individuals throughout the multiverse; (always use a semicolon in a list with items containing multiple clauses) GA#492, Proper Hygiene For Medical Instruments, which tasked the EPARC with the goal of preventing the spread of disease via improperly sterilized medical instruments; therefore (replace the comma with a semicolon, and optionally, use a conjunction; these two clauses do not flow well otherwise) clamping down on bad sanitation practices; GA#493, Language And Education Rights For Deaf Individuals, which maximizes the accessibility and effectiveness of educational institutions for deaf individuals; and GA#497, Repeal: "Military Identification Tag Act", responsible for highlighting egregious flaws that managed to slip through the cracks of a formerly passed resolution,


I encourage you to apply the punctuation corrections to the other list for consistency.
Last edited by Marxist Germany on Sat Oct 24, 2020 6:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Sat Oct 24, 2020 7:04 am

Marxist Germany wrote:snip

How exactly does consolidating four bitesized chunks of information into one near-identical long paragraph make it any less of a "laundry list?" :P

Still full support on my end
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Noahs Second Country
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Anarchy

Postby Noahs Second Country » Sat Oct 24, 2020 7:16 am

OOC: As much as I thing Morover has been a net positive and a great member of the GA community, I do not think he deserves an SC Commend yet; he has not contributed enough compared to most Commendees, and I would prefer to see more of his future achievements in a resolution.

Morover wrote:
Commend Kuriko was passed 11,552 votes to 2,189.

Thanks everyone! With that, I’m officially retired!
I don't think waiting longer will do much.
Moreover (haha), I think the proposal looks far too much like a laundry list, perhaps cut down on the lists and integrate them into paragraphs?

I don't think that a long paragraph is very easy to read - a list keeps things nice and organized.
Firstly, it’s neither one of those three things. Secondly, I knows you’re trying to emulate Morover, but it’s bad enough with only ‘august’, but this is literal overkill. You can do the Morover style after this sentence please.

I agree with your first point but I think that the 'overkill' is fine and very reflective of Morover's writing, which is the intention of this resolution - see SC305: In the name of all things democratic and free, this most august and well-endowed Security Council,

The GA clause changes have been made.

The ‘whining that someone hasn’t been commended yet’ clauses are rather superfluous and I’d prefer if this one didn’t have one.

Personally I tend to prefer a concluding clause so that the transition to "hereby commend x" isn't so abrupt.
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