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[DRAFT] The boys who glowed in the dark

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

[DRAFT] The boys who glowed in the dark

Postby Sanghyeok » Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:36 pm

This was inspired by Jutsa
Original ideal by Jutsa "Issue about a tampering and either stealing or near-successful stealing of uranium for malicious purposes, such as selling to a blacklisted country."
My interpretation: Cesium from medical instruments.
Issue name: The boys who glowed in the dark.
Eligibility: A low level of primitivism, high income inequality

Background: A few days ago, some boys from the slums of @@CAPITAL@@ broke in to an abandoned hospital, taking with them various equipment parts to sell for scrap and make a living. Unfortunately for them, one of those happened to be a cancer treating radiation device, containing high amounts of radioactive and very deadly Cesium-137. Several of them later died from radiation sickness, and the incident has sparked a debate over how to handle radioactive substances in @@NAME@@.

Option A: "We are incredibly lucky it was just a few boys and not some terrorists from Blackacre!" says your Minister of the Interior. "Imagine if it was the bad guys who got their hands on this, and made a dirty bomb. We've got to make sure that all sources of radioactive materials are carefully stored in a safe location, lest the next time result in an even bigger tragedy."
Result: Hospitals are now guarded more heavily than prisons and military bases

Option B: "The only solution is to get rid of all radioactive materials in our country" screams a protester waving an anti-nuclear sign. "This includes medical devices, bombs, smoke detectors, whatever it takes to make our country safe again and free of nuclear devices! We demand total denuclearization, once and for all!"
Result: Even bananas can't be handled in @@NAME@@ without a radiation suit

Option C: "Treating the symptom is fine, but we need to treat the source" remarks your Minister of Welfare, before pulling up a graph showing the nation's income and wealth disparity. "Those boys wouldn't need to risk their lives selling scrap if they had a decent home to live in, and their family had a stable source of food. Give my department more funding, and this problem and many others will be solved."
Result: The country's poverty rate is nearing zero after an expansion of welfare benefits.

Option D: "Hey, I have an idea" remarks a familiar looking dark-masked man who slipped into your office while your back was turned facing your Minister of Welfare. "Why don't we sell this to that fine group o freedom fighters we're funding in the Upper East? They could make things very difficult for that government we hate, and we can get rid of all these health threats. A win-win if you ask me."
Result: The government denies all association with the radiation cloud over Brasilistan
Last edited by Sanghyeok on Sat Sep 26, 2020 8:55 am, edited 3 times in total.

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8967
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:54 pm

Sanghyeok wrote:Background: A few days ago, some boys from the slums of @@CAPITAL@@ broke in to an abandoned hospital, taking with them various hospital electronics that they wanted to sell on the black market. Unfortunately for them, one of those happened to be a cancer treating radiation device, containing high amounts of radioactive and very deadly Cesium-137.
Why is this unfortunate for the thieves? Did they accidentally irradiate themselves?

Also, if a hospital is closing down, wouldn't they want to sell off valuable equipment themselves rather than leaving it lying around?

Sanghyeok wrote:Result: Hundreds of @@DEMONYM@@ die from treatable diseases each year.
This is very similar to the effect line for #413 1.

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Fri Sep 11, 2020 12:54 pm

Trotterdam wrote:
Sanghyeok wrote:Background: A few days ago, some boys from the slums of @@CAPITAL@@ broke in to an abandoned hospital, taking with them various hospital electronics that they wanted to sell on the black market. Unfortunately for them, one of those happened to be a cancer treating radiation device, containing high amounts of radioactive and very deadly Cesium-137.
Why is this unfortunate for the thieves? Did they accidentally irradiate themselves?

Also, if a hospital is closing down, wouldn't they want to sell off valuable equipment themselves rather than leaving it lying around?

Sanghyeok wrote:Result: Hundreds of @@DEMONYM@@ die from treatable diseases each year.
This is very similar to the effect line for #413 1.



It's based off of a real story about slum boys in Brazil. The hospital was closed but for some reason there were certain machines left behind.
Thanks for telling about the effect line. I will fix it.

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Random Country 453632
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 58
Founded: Jun 09, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Random Country 453632 » Sat Sep 12, 2020 12:19 am

Sanghyeok wrote:Background: A few days ago, some teenagers from the slums of @@CAPITAL@@ broke in to an abandoned hospital, taking with them various hospital electronics that they wanted to sell on the black market. Unfortunately for them, one of those happened to be a cancer treating radiation device, containing high amounts of radioactive and very deadly Cesium-137. The incident has sparked a debate over how to handle radioactive substances in @@NATION@@.

Option A: "We are incredibly lucky it was just a few boys and not some terrorists from Maxtopia!" says your Minister of the Interior. "Imagine if it was the bad guys who got their hands on this, and made a dirty bomb. We've got to make sure that all sources of Cesium are carefully stored in a safe location, lest the next time result in a real tragedy."
Result: Hospitals are now guarded more heavily than prisons and military bases
Stats: Safety decreases, government size increases, taxation increases, youth rebelliousness increases


Reason for change: what if other people saw that action and wanted money for themselves? Especially teens.

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-SARS-
Envoy
 
Posts: 247
Founded: May 02, 2020
Tyranny by Majority

Postby -SARS- » Sat Sep 12, 2020 12:23 am

You don't need to put stats. The editors handle those. The issue submission page no longer has a space for suggested stats.
This nation is made with pure 100% all-natural SARS. Non-GMO, gluten-free, and ZERO ADDED SUGAR!

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Sat Sep 12, 2020 5:49 am

-SARS- wrote:You don't need to put stats. The editors handle those. The issue submission page no longer has a space for suggested stats.


Thank you for telling me.

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Random Country 453632
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 58
Founded: Jun 09, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Random Country 453632 » Sun Sep 13, 2020 8:37 pm

-SARS- wrote:You don't need to put stats. The editors handle those. The issue submission page no longer has a space for suggested stats.

that is, unless you're in Advanced View.

User avatar
Jutsa
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5059
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Thu Sep 17, 2020 9:04 pm

Finally glancing at this — sorry it took so long. :blush:

So, yeah, overall, not gonna lie, I kinda like how this is set up; especially if this is based on a real story.
The premise is pretty solid (though it'd be nice if you specified why the cesium was unfortunate for the kids, although there's definitely a slight implication.

The options seem to be "dispose of them properly," "stop using cesium at all", and "curse technology". Not gonna lie, it's kinda amusing,
though I do personally feel like the last one's a bit... well, both waning away from the story and kinda similar to option 2, just an even more extreme version of a radical option.

Besides, what about other solutions? Like, say, just blowing up the abandoned hospital? Or selling off the technology? Or booby-trapping the place?
Or maybe you should congratulate those dumb fools for the sacrifice they made to both environmental safety and entrepreneurial innovation? :rofl:

There's a lot of potential for a third (and maybe even fourth) option, but I feel like two "wind back technology" options isn't quite right. But that's my personal opinion.
Everything else looks pretty good. I'm kinda... interested, as to why an abandoned hospital would have been abandoned and left its technology behind,
but again, if it happened in real life, then there's merit for it. I say keep working on this. :P
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Honeydewistania
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1971
Founded: Jun 09, 2017
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Honeydewistania » Fri Sep 18, 2020 6:53 am

I thought it's spelled caesium
Honeydewistania (Nation mostly does not represent real life views.)

Retired Regional Military Director of Lazarus
Posts OOC unless marked otherwise.
Ambassador to the WA: Benji Schubert Hepperle
Assistant to the Ambassador: Rekeil Wrigglesworth II
Official Coffee-fetcher and Masseuse: Jonathan Santos de Oliveira

The MT Army Warrior
Biggest acheivement: Spelling
GA#494 Regulating Desalination
GA#498 Ban on Forced Blood Sports
GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"
GA#507 Repeal "Promotion of Recycling"
GA#511 Ensuring Effectual Recycling
GA#518 Reducing Disease Vectors

SC#315 Commend Vippertooth33
SC#320 Condemn Noahs Second Country
SC#324 Commend The Red Fleet

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:46 am

Jutsa wrote:Finally glancing at this — sorry it took so long. :blush:

So, yeah, overall, not gonna lie, I kinda like how this is set up; especially if this is based on a real story.
The premise is pretty solid (though it'd be nice if you specified why the cesium was unfortunate for the kids, although there's definitely a slight implication.

The options seem to be "dispose of them properly," "stop using cesium at all", and "curse technology". Not gonna lie, it's kinda amusing,
though I do personally feel like the last one's a bit... well, both waning away from the story and kinda similar to option 2, just an even more extreme version of a radical option.

Besides, what about other solutions? Like, say, just blowing up the abandoned hospital? Or selling off the technology? Or booby-trapping the place?
Or maybe you should congratulate those dumb fools for the sacrifice they made to both environmental safety and entrepreneurial innovation? :rofl:

There's a lot of potential for a third (and maybe even fourth) option, but I feel like two "wind back technology" options isn't quite right. But that's my personal opinion.
Everything else looks pretty good. I'm kinda... interested, as to why an abandoned hospital would have been abandoned and left its technology behind,
but again, if it happened in real life, then there's merit for it. I say keep working on this. :P



Thank you for your feedback! I am still continuing to rewrite the issue (after I finish remaking my factbooks, of course...)
Your advice is really useful.

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:47 am

Honeydewistania wrote:I thought it's spelled caesium


You are correct, that is the official spelling.
I have an odd mix of spelling, where I use both US (Simplified) and UK (Traditional) English.

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Minskiev
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1238
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:49 am

@@NATION@@ —> @@NAME@@
Gentlemen, you cant fight in here. This is the war room.
Rejected Times Staff
Most recent best F7 reply:
NS Stats partially baked, roasted, sautéed, braised, grilled, broiled, poached, and fried by BLYAT
Alastair-Ivan fanfic WIP - read today!

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Honeydewistania
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1971
Founded: Jun 09, 2017
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Honeydewistania » Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:51 am

Make the characters a little more interesting, especially the uncle and the Minister of the Interior. Maybe have the uncle to be smashing a remote control to pieces or something similar
Honeydewistania (Nation mostly does not represent real life views.)

Retired Regional Military Director of Lazarus
Posts OOC unless marked otherwise.
Ambassador to the WA: Benji Schubert Hepperle
Assistant to the Ambassador: Rekeil Wrigglesworth II
Official Coffee-fetcher and Masseuse: Jonathan Santos de Oliveira

The MT Army Warrior
Biggest acheivement: Spelling
GA#494 Regulating Desalination
GA#498 Ban on Forced Blood Sports
GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"
GA#507 Repeal "Promotion of Recycling"
GA#511 Ensuring Effectual Recycling
GA#518 Reducing Disease Vectors

SC#315 Commend Vippertooth33
SC#320 Condemn Noahs Second Country
SC#324 Commend The Red Fleet

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:52 am

Minskiev wrote:@@NATION@@ —> @@NAME@@


Thank you for the advice!

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:53 am

Honeydewistania wrote:Make the characters a little more interesting, especially the uncle and the Minister of the Interior. Maybe have the uncle to be smashing a remote control to pieces or something similar



Hmmm...do you mean like having the uncle smash a fire alarm or something? That will be interesting.

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:54 am

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goi%C3%A2nia_accident

This is what I based it off of, an incident from a book I read.

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Thu Sep 24, 2020 6:10 pm

/bump

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Minskiev
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1238
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Thu Sep 24, 2020 6:17 pm

Not crazy about the title. Yes, they sound alike, but it doesn’t mean anything.
Gentlemen, you cant fight in here. This is the war room.
Rejected Times Staff
Most recent best F7 reply:
NS Stats partially baked, roasted, sautéed, braised, grilled, broiled, poached, and fried by BLYAT
Alastair-Ivan fanfic WIP - read today!

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Thu Sep 24, 2020 6:27 pm

Minskiev wrote:Not crazy about the title. Yes, they sound alike, but it doesn’t mean anything.


I am very bad at creating titles. If you like, please suggest one.

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?

User avatar
Honeydewistania
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1971
Founded: Jun 09, 2017
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Honeydewistania » Fri Sep 25, 2020 1:37 am

Minskiev wrote:Not crazy about the title. Yes, they sound alike, but it doesn’t mean anything.

Not to be rude, but it’s better than the Stake Outs title.
Honeydewistania (Nation mostly does not represent real life views.)

Retired Regional Military Director of Lazarus
Posts OOC unless marked otherwise.
Ambassador to the WA: Benji Schubert Hepperle
Assistant to the Ambassador: Rekeil Wrigglesworth II
Official Coffee-fetcher and Masseuse: Jonathan Santos de Oliveira

The MT Army Warrior
Biggest acheivement: Spelling
GA#494 Regulating Desalination
GA#498 Ban on Forced Blood Sports
GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"
GA#507 Repeal "Promotion of Recycling"
GA#511 Ensuring Effectual Recycling
GA#518 Reducing Disease Vectors

SC#315 Commend Vippertooth33
SC#320 Condemn Noahs Second Country
SC#324 Commend The Red Fleet

User avatar
Minskiev
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1238
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Fri Sep 25, 2020 7:45 am

Honeydewistania wrote:
Minskiev wrote:Not crazy about the title. Yes, they sound alike, but it doesn’t mean anything.

Not to be rude, but it’s better than the Stake Outs title.


I’m fixing that title, you don’t need to remind me that it’s bad. :p
Gentlemen, you cant fight in here. This is the war room.
Rejected Times Staff
Most recent best F7 reply:
NS Stats partially baked, roasted, sautéed, braised, grilled, broiled, poached, and fried by BLYAT
Alastair-Ivan fanfic WIP - read today!

User avatar
Verdant Haven
Diplomat
 
Posts: 650
Founded: Feb 26, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Verdant Haven » Sat Sep 26, 2020 7:31 am

I like this as an issue very much, as the incident it is based off isn't even a one-off... it is something that has happened repeatedly and in multiple countries, with wide-ranging consequences. Medical radiotherapy devices, as well as similar lab equipment, has wandered off as scrap metal (both by theft and unwitting sale) on quite a few occasions. The Goiania, Brazil incident (which I believe you're referencing) is joined by places like Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, Mayapuri, India, and Samut Prakarn, Thailand in having almost this exact scenario play out with widespread consequences, ranging from a dozen or so people exposed to more than 100,000.

Diving in to the draft...

- I wouldn't necessarily drive for a scientific advancement benchmark as a validity - one of the problems that leads to these incidents is a lack of proper safeguards, and in some cases it's because advanced devices are being used in manners that suggest the individuals in question lack advanced scientific understanding. High income inequality makes sense for having the scrappers digging around, but if you want a second validity, I'd probably incline towards excluding nations with particularly high primitivism.

- For the background description, perhaps specify that the boys stole "various equipment" to "sell for scrap" - that's a little more accurate to the occasion than trying to black-market hospital electronics. The actual movement and handling of the equipment isn't what's dangerous with these things - it's when they get broken open by people trying to smash them up for their components. A scrapyard is also something kids from the slums would have access to and understand, whereas the international gray-market in radiotherapy devices probably isn't.

- Option A: Maxtopia has been presented in many ways, but I don't think they're usually described as a major terrorist threat. Blackacre might work better here? I would also be less specific in the minister's reply when it comes to which materials to safeguard. caesium-137 is only one of the problems in this field - there are also issues with cobalt-60, iridium-192, and iodine-131 to name a few. Smoke detectors typically use americium-241. It's also a bit... brutal for the minister to dismiss this as "not a real tragedy" given that multiple children died. Maybe next time might result in "an even bigger tragedy" or the like?

- Option B: This is definitely the extreme response - I would give the speaker more flavor, as they're exceedingly plain right now. WHY do they feel this way? What are they trying to protect? Who do they represent? That sort of stuff. As an aside, it's smoke detectors rather than fire alarms that have the source such a protestor would be flipping out about.

- Option C: This is a second extreme response, and doesn't feel particularly necessary or believable. I would drop it and replace with something else (suggestions below).

- Option D: Good concept - keep working on fleshing out the speaker and the option. Perhaps their speech is a little more circumspect, or they seem familiar from somewhere LEADER doesn't quite remember?

- General suggestion - what it feels like this is missing to me, besides the general polishing that comes with the drafting and editing process, is options that actually reflect realworld responses. There are two things that have generally happened in response to these incidents - intense regulatory action, and widespread medical response. We can assume that medicine is being dealt with, but I think it would be a good look to have a regulatory agency come screaming in here with mountains of paperwork about how to prevent such incidents in the future, and that could end up with a perhaps more entertaining use of the banana reference (bananas are a controlled substance, or needing a countersigned form to purchase, or something like that). At any rate, the guards in Option A address how the kids accessed the device (the problem), but there is nothing addressing why the device was accessible in the first place (the symptom). I think that would be an important option to add to the discussion. If you wanted to flex another option somewhere, probably replacing a different one since 4 is usually plenty, you could have somebody looking at addressing why kids feel the need to raid clinics for scrap metal in the first place - welfare, food assistance, health care provisions, etc.
Last edited by Verdant Haven on Sat Sep 26, 2020 7:34 am, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
Sanghyeok
Minister
 
Posts: 2654
Founded: Dec 29, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Sanghyeok » Sat Sep 26, 2020 8:56 am

Verdant Haven wrote:I like this as an issue very much, as the incident it is based off isn't even a one-off... it is something that has happened repeatedly and in multiple countries, with wide-ranging consequences. Medical radiotherapy devices, as well as similar lab equipment, has wandered off as scrap metal (both by theft and unwitting sale) on quite a few occasions. The Goiania, Brazil incident (which I believe you're referencing) is joined by places like Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, Mayapuri, India, and Samut Prakarn, Thailand in having almost this exact scenario play out with widespread consequences, ranging from a dozen or so people exposed to more than 100,000.

Diving in to the draft...

- I wouldn't necessarily drive for a scientific advancement benchmark as a validity - one of the problems that leads to these incidents is a lack of proper safeguards, and in some cases it's because advanced devices are being used in manners that suggest the individuals in question lack advanced scientific understanding. High income inequality makes sense for having the scrappers digging around, but if you want a second validity, I'd probably incline towards excluding nations with particularly high primitivism.

- For the background description, perhaps specify that the boys stole "various equipment" to "sell for scrap" - that's a little more accurate to the occasion than trying to black-market hospital electronics. The actual movement and handling of the equipment isn't what's dangerous with these things - it's when they get broken open by people trying to smash them up for their components. A scrapyard is also something kids from the slums would have access to and understand, whereas the international gray-market in radiotherapy devices probably isn't.

- Option A: Maxtopia has been presented in many ways, but I don't think they're usually described as a major terrorist threat. Blackacre might work better here? I would also be less specific in the minister's reply when it comes to which materials to safeguard. caesium-137 is only one of the problems in this field - there are also issues with cobalt-60, iridium-192, and iodine-131 to name a few. Smoke detectors typically use americium-241. It's also a bit... brutal for the minister to dismiss this as "not a real tragedy" given that multiple children died. Maybe next time might result in "an even bigger tragedy" or the like?

- Option B: This is definitely the extreme response - I would give the speaker more flavor, as they're exceedingly plain right now. WHY do they feel this way? What are they trying to protect? Who do they represent? That sort of stuff. As an aside, it's smoke detectors rather than fire alarms that have the source such a protestor would be flipping out about.

- Option C: This is a second extreme response, and doesn't feel particularly necessary or believable. I would drop it and replace with something else (suggestions below).

- Option D: Good concept - keep working on fleshing out the speaker and the option. Perhaps their speech is a little more circumspect, or they seem familiar from somewhere LEADER doesn't quite remember?

- General suggestion - what it feels like this is missing to me, besides the general polishing that comes with the drafting and editing process, is options that actually reflect realworld responses. There are two things that have generally happened in response to these incidents - intense regulatory action, and widespread medical response. We can assume that medicine is being dealt with, but I think it would be a good look to have a regulatory agency come screaming in here with mountains of paperwork about how to prevent such incidents in the future, and that could end up with a perhaps more entertaining use of the banana reference (bananas are a controlled substance, or needing a countersigned form to purchase, or something like that). At any rate, the guards in Option A address how the kids accessed the device (the problem), but there is nothing addressing why the device was accessible in the first place (the symptom). I think that would be an important option to add to the discussion. If you wanted to flex another option somewhere, probably replacing a different one since 4 is usually plenty, you could have somebody looking at addressing why kids feel the need to raid clinics for scrap metal in the first place - welfare, food assistance, health care provisions, etc.



Thank you for your feedback, it is very helpful. I have replaced option C to the 'welfare option' you suggested.

サンヒョク社会主義連合連邦
我が祖国は、革命の赤旗を守る!世界の労働者万歳 統一戦線万歳 どんな時も その眩しさ 覚えていた
Chairwoman Oomiya in tea party with Azur Deutschland leaders Julienne and Sylvia | Chairwoman Oomiya to receive delegation from various realms in celebration of 861st Birthday Gala
Mini custard puddings
And fresh poured Darjeeling
Strawberry parfait so sweet and appealing,
Little soft plushies and baths in hot springs
These are a few of my favorite things

I'll be doing a cosplay for a Halloween Party I'm going to. Can you guess what it is?


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