[ISSUE DRAFT] Home, Sweet Home

[Tikariot]

First revision:

[Validity] Any nations with no "No Sports" policy.

[Description] After Brancaland just naturalized six @@DEMONYM@@ players, and subsequently mopped the floor with @@NAME@@ at the Football World Cup, a group of so-called 'sports experts' has invaded your office just as you are about to take a bite ouf of a particularly outlandish sandwich.

1. "Our loss against Brancaland was a national embarrassment! With Brancaland allowing athletes to take their citizenship left right and centre, we have to react to allow @@NAME@@ to remain competitive!" yells Coach @@RANDOMNAME@@ after blowing his whistle three times to get your attention. "Change the laws that we can naturalize anybody that could help us win everything!"

[Result] coaches spend more time trying to see who is @@DEMONYM@@ today than coaching.

2. "Give me that!" screams your Minister for Sports, trying to pull the whistle from the coach's lips. "We can't just give out citizenships nilly-willy for any mercenary athlete coming to our lands. Make a law that after five years they can apply for @@DEMONYM@@ citizenship and then are eligible to perform for @@NAME@@."

[Result] athletes carry calendars onto the pitch to see when they are allowed to switch nations.

3. "Hogwash," exclaims a nonagenarian that claims to have been part of the first Olympic Games even though they happened several hundred years ago. "If you want to perform for @@NAME@@ you have to be born in @@NAME@@, your parents have to be born in @@NAME@@ and your grandparents have to be born in @@NAME@@. No, we don't need noone from no other places!"

[Result] signing up for high school tryouts requires a full genealogical survey of the last three generations.

[The Unified Missourtama States]

[Validity] I would think all nations, as most will have sports one way or another.

Wrong! there is actually a No Sports policy.

[Tikariot]

Thanks for letting me know, has been amended.

[Australian rePublic]

Effect for option 1: "Coaches spend more time trying to see who is @@DEMONYM@@ today than coaching" why? If the player is successful, can communicate with the coach, and is nation legally, then who gives a shit what his/her nationality is? Also, isn't the coach the one who came up with this idea in the first place? Also also, wouldn't a coach know who his/her players are? Are you telling that a coach is still trying to figure out who is who after every single game?

[Tikariot]

The effect is that because of athletes being able to change nationality at the drop of a hat the coaches have to check every day who still has the same nationality and who has flipped to a different nation.

[USS Monitor]

The effect is that because of athletes being able to change nationality at the drop of a hat the coaches have to check every day who still has the same nationality and who has flipped to a different nation.

I was able to figure that out from the text.

It's cool to see you stop by the issues forum -- I love all the crossover lately between Sports and Issues -- but I think the story could be fleshed out more.

So Brancaland introduced a new policy. Why are @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ worked up about it? What makes it an urgent issue that requires your immediate attention? Did Brancaland kick the crap out of @@NAME@@ at the World @@ANIMAL@@ball Championships? The coach in option 1 sounds like he is worried about such a thing, but the issue would have more urgency if you were talking about something that is already happening. "We suffered an embarrassing loss!" is a more immediate issue than, "We might lose some games in the future."

If you want to use something from NS Sports canon instead of @@ANIMAL@@ball, that might be an interesting extension of the Sports/Issues synergy that's been going on lately.

Also, effect lines... Think about how effect lines are used within the game. They appear in your national happenings: "Following new legislation in @@NAME@@, blah blah blah."

They also appear in the description on your nation page, like: "The weather report is the prisoners' favourite programme, the government prefers to kill off its enemies by peaceful means, heavily subsidised Monitorian baskets litter the streets of North Carolina, and anyone who sneezes at border crossings is turned away."

That is four different effect lines from four different issues:

the weather report is the prisoners' favourite programme
the government prefers to kill off its enemies by peaceful means
heavily subsidised @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ baskets litter the streets of @@REGION@@
anyone who sneezes at border crossings is turned away

The nation page has code to put them together into a sentence -- capitalizes the first one, adds commas, etc. The effect line is not a sentence by itself. It is a piece of text that gets strung together with other effect lines. It does not need to start with a capital letter, it does not need to end with a period, it needs to be meaningful out of context if people read your nation page without seeing the issue where the effect came from, and it needs to flow decently when it is part of a series. For example, your 3rd effect line could be:

signing up for a high school sports team requires a full genealogical survey of the last three generations

Not too far from what you had -- just a little clearer out of context. If you wanted, you could take it in a slightly less obvious direction like:

children are banned from participating in the school play unless they provide a full genealogical survey of the last three generations

Your effect lines for option 1 and 3 are not too bad, but the effect line on option 2 needs to be replaced with something totally different. It's not meaningful out of context, and there's no humor in it.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

[Description] After Brancaland have announced a change of laws to allow foreign athletes to easily be naturalized, a group of so-called 'sports experts' has invaded your office just as you are about to take a bite ouf of a particularly outlandish sandwich.

To me, the narrative would be more compelling if the issue was being triggered by a top @@DEMONYM@@ athlete becoming a naturalised Brancalandian, rather than a recent change in legislation. It'd feel more personal, and allow for more emotional responses.

[Tikariot]

Finally managed to rework this!


[Validity] Any nations with no "No Sports" policy.

[Description] After Brancaland just naturalized six @@DEMONYM@@ players, and subsequently mopped the floor with @@NAME@@ at the Football World Cup, a group of so-called 'sports experts' has invaded your office just as you are about to take a bite ouf of a particularly outlandish sandwich.

1. "Our loss against Brancaland was a national embarrassment! With Brancaland allowing athletes to take their citizenship left right and centre, we have to react to allow @@NAME@@ to remain competitive!" yells Coach @@RANDOMNAME@@ after blowing his whistle three times to get your attention. "Change the laws that we can naturalize anybody that could help us win everything!"

[Result] coaches spend more time trying to see who is @@DEMONYM@@ today than coaching.

2. "Give me that!" screams your Minister for Sports, trying to pull the whistle from the coach's lips. "We can't just give out citizenships nilly-willy for any mercenary athlete coming to our lands. Make a law that after five years they can apply for @@DEMONYM@@ citizenship and then are eligible to perform for @@NAME@@."

[Result] athletes carry calendars onto the pitch to see when they are allowed to switch nations.

3. "Hogwash," exclaims a nonagenarian that claims to have been part of the first Olympic Games even though they happened several hundred years ago. "If you want to perform for @@NAME@@ you have to be born in @@NAME@@, your parents have to be born in @@NAME@@ and your grandparents have to be born in @@NAME@@. No, we don't need noone from no other places!"

[Result] signing up for high school tryouts requires a full genealogical survey of the last three generations.

[USS Monitor]

Can you edit your most recent draft into the first post of the thread so you don't get people mistakenly commenting on things that you already fixed?

[Tikariot]

Of course, sorry, my bad.