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[DRAFT] Deli Worship

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Cretox State
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Posts: 808
Founded: Nov 04, 2015
Liberal Democratic Socialists

[DRAFT] Deli Worship

Postby Cretox State » Mon Aug 10, 2020 3:19 pm

Draft 3: cleanup and bumping.

Deli Worship

Validity: Must have high religiousness, cannot have high intelligence, and cannot be a monarchy.

Description
Today is another glorious day in @@NAME@@- the nation is devout, @@LEADER@@ is in charge, and the sun rises on schedule. However, that last part is being called into question by your ever-ambitious Faith Minister, who has reported receiving a vision that a blood sacrifice must be made to a higher power lest the world plunge into eternal darkness- and you're on the chopping block.

Option 1
"There will be blood on your hands, @@LEADER@@, unless you allow us to cut them off!" booms your Faith Minister, waving a ceremonial dagger at your chest. "To be more clear, it could be your hands, your feet, part of your brain, or something about as painful. My vision wasn't exactly clear on the matter.

Effect: running a country costs an arm and a leg

Validity: Cannot have vegetarianism.
Option 2a
"If they're so vague, why does it have to be @@LEADER@@?!" shrieks one of your most loyal aides, shielding you with a large sheet of butcher paper. "Couldn't we just sacrifice @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@? Or maybe a few secretaries? Maybe we could just find someone of your proportions, and dress them up like you for the sacrifice?"

Effect: body doubles would kill for a different job

Validity: Must have vegetarianism.
Option 2b
"If they're so vague, why does it have to be @@LEADER@@?!" shrieks one of your most loyal aides, shielding you with a large cutting board. "Couldn't we just sacrifice @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@? Or maybe a few secretaries? Maybe we could just find someone of your proportions, and dress them up like you for the sacrifice?"

Effect: body doubles would kill for a different job

Option 3
"Isn't this all getting a bit out of hand?" asks Brancalandian attaché @@RANDOMNAME@@, clutching a bottle of maple syrup for comfort. "I don't mean to accuse the Minister of any dishonesty, but perhaps you shouldn't take one alleged "vision" by one individual as gospel? Especially when your bodily integrity is at stake? Maybe it's time to review other... less savory religious practices as well, while you're at it?

Effect: the government has declared meditation a foolish waste of time

Option 4
"To a higher power, you say?" slurs your brother, smelling faintly of spirits and divine bliss. "If you finally take the leap and just declare yourself a divine monarch, there can be no higher power than yourself! You'll usher in a new age of daily radiance, to boot! I've done it, people! I've solved the prophecy!"

Effect: all loopholes lead to @@LEADER@@ and the quest for more power
Last edited by Cretox State on Thu Mar 04, 2021 9:19 pm, edited 6 times in total.

The North Pacific Vice Delegate
Author: 11 GA + 3 SC resolutions, 4 issues, and a lot of drafts

Killer of Stats
Assume OOC

"above the level of needing to be told how English works" - Candlewhisper Archive
"pure legalese" - Araraukar
"barrel of nonsense" - Tinhampton
"Just hurry up and declare a coup" - Honeydewistania
"a joke with no punchline" - Minskiev
"purge me daddy" - Praeceps
GA 496
GA 503 (1st in category)
GA 504
GA 509 (1st in category)
GA 510
GA 512
GA 520
GA 523
GA 527
GA 529
GA 530
GA 535*

SC 318
SC 331
SC 333

Issue 1427
Issue 1433
Issue 1438
Issue 1444

User avatar
Cretox State
Diplomat
 
Posts: 808
Founded: Nov 04, 2015
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Cretox State » Mon Aug 10, 2020 3:19 pm

Deli Worship

Validity: Must have high religiousness, cannot have high intelligence, and cannot be a monarchy.

Description
Today is another glorious day in @@NAME@@- the nation is devout, @@LEADER@@ is in charge, and the sun rises on schedule. However, that last part is being called into question by several prominent religious authorities and a large segment of the general population, who have interpreted a holy text to mean that a blood sacrifice must be made to a higher power- and you're on the chopping block.

Option 1
"There will be blood on your hands, @@LEADER@@, unless you allow us to cut them off!" booms @@RANDOMNAME@@, Grand High Poobah of The Order of Violet, waving a ceremonial dagger at your chest. "To be more clear, it could be your hands, your feet, part of your brain, or something about as painful. The scriptures are fairly vague, clearly intentionally, and Her Almighty Actually Violet Sun can be lenient in Her judgement."

Effect: running a country costs an arm and a leg

Validity: Cannot have vegetarianism.
Option 2a
"If they're so vague, why does it have to be @@LEADER@@?!" shrieks one of your most loyal aides, shielding you with a large sheet of butcher paper. "Couldn't we just sacrifice @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@? Or maybe a few secretaries? Maybe we could just find someone of your proportions, and dress them up like you for the sacrifice?"

Effect: body doubles would kill for a different job

Validity: Must have vegetarianism.
Option 2b
"If they're so vague, why does it have to be @@LEADER@@?!" shrieks one of your most loyal aides, fighting off the Grand High Poobah with a bamboo stick. "Couldn't we just sacrifice @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@? Or maybe a few secretaries? Maybe we could just find someone of your proportions, and dress them up like you for the sacrifice?"

Effect: body doubles would kill for a different job

Option 3
"Isn't this all getting a bit out of hand?" asks Brancalandian attaché @@RANDOMNAME@@, clutching a bottle of maple syrup for comfort. "I read the text myself, and all it says is that the most powerful individual in the land must sacrifice a part of themselves to a higher power to ensure daily radiance. Deep stuff, but surely it can't be of any material consequence?"

Effect: the government has declared meditation a foolish waste of time

Option 4
"Most powerful individual, you say?" slurs your brother, smelling faintly of spirits and divine bliss. "You're definitely the most powerful individual in the land, and if you finally take the leap and just declare yourself a divine monarch, there can be no higher power than yourself! You'll usher in a new age of daily radiance, to boot! I've done it, people! I've solved the prophecy!"

Effect: all loopholes lead to @@LEADER@@ and the quest for more power


Deli Worship

Validity: Must have high religiousness, cannot have high intelligence, and cannot be a monarchy.

Description
Today is another glorious day in @@NAME@@- the nation is devout, @@LEADER@@ is in charge, and the sun rises on schedule. However, that last part is being called into question by several prominent religious authorities and a large segment of the general population, who have interpreted a holy text to mean that a blood sacrifice must be made to a higher power; that sacrifice being you.

Option 1
"There will be blood on your hands, @@LEADER@@, unless you allow us to cut them off!" booms @@RANDOMNAME@@, Grand High Poobah of The Order of Violet, taking your measurements with a caliper. "To be more clear, it could be your hands, your feet, part of your brain, or something about as painful. The scriptures are pretty vague if I'm being honest, and I'm sure the sun isn't too picky."

Effect: running a country costs an arm and a leg

Option 2
"If they're so vague, why does it have to be @@LEADER@@?!" shrieks one of your most loyal aides, shielding you with a large sheet of butcher paper. "Couldn't we just sacrifice @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@? Or maybe a few secretaries? Maybe we could just find someone of your proportions, and dress them up like you for the sacrifice?"

Effect: body doubles would kill for a different job

Option 3
"Has anyone here actually read the text?" asks infamous religious skeptic @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was turned down for the position of Grand High Poobah. After getting blank stares from everyone in the room, @@HE@@ sighs and continues, "It literally just says that the most powerful individual in the land must give up a part of themselves to a higher power to ensure daily radiance. All this vague religious mumbo jumbo is clearly nothing but a sham, and one we'd best stop humoring."

Effect: the government has declared meditation a foolish waste of time

Option 4
"Most powerful individual, you say?" slurs your brother, smelling faintly of spirits and divine bliss. "You're definitely the most powerful individual in the land, and if you finally take the leap and just declare yourself a divine monarch, there can be no higher power than yourself! You'll usher in a new age of daily radiance, to boot! I've done it, people! I've solved the prophecy!"

Effect: all loopholes lead to @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ quest for more power
Last edited by Cretox State on Thu Mar 04, 2021 9:10 pm, edited 3 times in total.

The North Pacific Vice Delegate
Author: 11 GA + 3 SC resolutions, 4 issues, and a lot of drafts

Killer of Stats
Assume OOC

"above the level of needing to be told how English works" - Candlewhisper Archive
"pure legalese" - Araraukar
"barrel of nonsense" - Tinhampton
"Just hurry up and declare a coup" - Honeydewistania
"a joke with no punchline" - Minskiev
"purge me daddy" - Praeceps
GA 496
GA 503 (1st in category)
GA 504
GA 509 (1st in category)
GA 510
GA 512
GA 520
GA 523
GA 527
GA 529
GA 530
GA 535*

SC 318
SC 331
SC 333

Issue 1427
Issue 1433
Issue 1438
Issue 1444

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Daarwyrth
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Posts: 928
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Mon Aug 10, 2020 3:47 pm

and the sun rises on schedule


For some reason this line really made me chuckle :P

the sun


If the sun is a divine object to these religious folk, shouldn't it be capitalized when spoken of by the Grand High Poobah? Or spoken of in a slightly more reverend manner? Like "his Worshipfulness the Sun" or something along those line.

asks infamous religious skeptic @@RANDOMNAME@@, who was turned down for the position of Grand High Poobah.


This feels a little odd. So, this individual is a religious skeptic, yet they wanted to become Grand High Poobah? Did he have a crisis of faith in between or was he an atheist trying to infiltrate? It creates some questions, I believe, that take away focus from what the option is saying. Also, the paraphrase from the religious text feels a little out of place in its current form, as it doesn't connect too much with the phrase that comes afterwards about the religious mumbo-jumbo. I'd advise you to revise this option a little and make it clearer what is happening in the text, as I feel it is a little lost atm.

all loopholes lead to @@LEADER@@ and @@HIS@@ quest for more power


I'm afraid the @@HIS@@ will have to be removed here, as what if it randomly draws a she when my leader is a he? Unless gender is being tracked in some way for @@LEADER@@ that I was not aware of :P
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Westinor
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Posts: 726
Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Mon Aug 10, 2020 3:54 pm

Daarwyrth wrote:I'm afraid the @@HIS@@ will have to be removed here, as what if it randomly draws a she when my leader is a he? Unless gender is being tracked in some way for @@LEADER@@ that I was not aware of


It's best not to use pronouns when referring to leader, particularly in effect lines. The effect line can easily be just "all loopholes lead to @@LEADER@@'s quest for more power", though there might still be problems with the "'s" behind the macro.
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Cretox State
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Posts: 808
Founded: Nov 04, 2015
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Cretox State » Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:38 pm

Draft 2: Let me know if I've adequately addressed the problems.

The North Pacific Vice Delegate
Author: 11 GA + 3 SC resolutions, 4 issues, and a lot of drafts

Killer of Stats
Assume OOC

"above the level of needing to be told how English works" - Candlewhisper Archive
"pure legalese" - Araraukar
"barrel of nonsense" - Tinhampton
"Just hurry up and declare a coup" - Honeydewistania
"a joke with no punchline" - Minskiev
"purge me daddy" - Praeceps
GA 496
GA 503 (1st in category)
GA 504
GA 509 (1st in category)
GA 510
GA 512
GA 520
GA 523
GA 527
GA 529
GA 530
GA 535*

SC 318
SC 331
SC 333

Issue 1427
Issue 1433
Issue 1438
Issue 1444

User avatar
Pythaga
Envoy
 
Posts: 288
Founded: Mar 31, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Pythaga » Tue Aug 11, 2020 10:51 am

Description wrote:a blood sacrifice must be made to a higher power; that sacrifice being you.


The "that sacrifice being you" part is a little unclear and confusing in my opinion, I'd recommend a change to "and you are on the chopping block" or something in that vein so it's more clear at first glance that @@LEADER@@ is the one to be sacrificed.

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Cretox State
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Posts: 808
Founded: Nov 04, 2015
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Cretox State » Tue Aug 11, 2020 5:33 pm

Pythaga wrote:
Description wrote:a blood sacrifice must be made to a higher power; that sacrifice being you.


The "that sacrifice being you" part is a little unclear and confusing in my opinion, I'd recommend a change to "and you are on the chopping block" or something in that vein so it's more clear at first glance that @@LEADER@@ is the one to be sacrificed.

How about now?

The North Pacific Vice Delegate
Author: 11 GA + 3 SC resolutions, 4 issues, and a lot of drafts

Killer of Stats
Assume OOC

"above the level of needing to be told how English works" - Candlewhisper Archive
"pure legalese" - Araraukar
"barrel of nonsense" - Tinhampton
"Just hurry up and declare a coup" - Honeydewistania
"a joke with no punchline" - Minskiev
"purge me daddy" - Praeceps
GA 496
GA 503 (1st in category)
GA 504
GA 509 (1st in category)
GA 510
GA 512
GA 520
GA 523
GA 527
GA 529
GA 530
GA 535*

SC 318
SC 331
SC 333

Issue 1427
Issue 1433
Issue 1438
Issue 1444

User avatar
Minskiev
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Posts: 1320
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Tue Aug 11, 2020 5:36 pm

I’ve NEVER heard of a body double. I think you mean stunt double?
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SherpDaWerp
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Posts: 1057
Founded: Mar 02, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Tue Aug 11, 2020 5:48 pm

Minskiev wrote:I’ve NEVER heard of a body double. I think you mean stunt double?

Stunt double is typically a film term - stuntspeople who take the place of actors for risky moves.

Body doubles are a thing - their job is somewhat like bodyguards. Body doubles just look like a famous person and follow them around (or appear instead of them) so that any assassination attempt will get the body double instead of the actual person.

In this case, it would be someone who looks like @@LEADER@@ on the chopping block so that people think it's @@LEADER@@, when in fact it's some random less fortunate person that just looks the same.
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Cretox State
Diplomat
 
Posts: 808
Founded: Nov 04, 2015
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Cretox State » Mon Sep 21, 2020 5:28 pm

Bumping this.

The North Pacific Vice Delegate
Author: 11 GA + 3 SC resolutions, 4 issues, and a lot of drafts

Killer of Stats
Assume OOC

"above the level of needing to be told how English works" - Candlewhisper Archive
"pure legalese" - Araraukar
"barrel of nonsense" - Tinhampton
"Just hurry up and declare a coup" - Honeydewistania
"a joke with no punchline" - Minskiev
"purge me daddy" - Praeceps
GA 496
GA 503 (1st in category)
GA 504
GA 509 (1st in category)
GA 510
GA 512
GA 520
GA 523
GA 527
GA 529
GA 530
GA 535*

SC 318
SC 331
SC 333

Issue 1427
Issue 1433
Issue 1438
Issue 1444

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 22291
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Sep 22, 2020 4:29 am

I'd note that most players with high religiousness nations are quite clear about what that religion is. They might not see any reason why they have to listen to the Grand Poobah if Violetism isn't their or their nation's religion.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:58 am

Why is this an issue now, and not, say, 6 months ago? Wouldn't've every leader since the rise of Violtism in nation had to deal with this at some point during their reign? Surely there'd be some guide book on what to do when this arises.

Option 3- In what language did this guy read it in? The English translation might be very different to the original language
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Cretox State
Diplomat
 
Posts: 808
Founded: Nov 04, 2015
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Cretox State » Thu Mar 04, 2021 9:19 pm

Edited and bumped.

The North Pacific Vice Delegate
Author: 11 GA + 3 SC resolutions, 4 issues, and a lot of drafts

Killer of Stats
Assume OOC

"above the level of needing to be told how English works" - Candlewhisper Archive
"pure legalese" - Araraukar
"barrel of nonsense" - Tinhampton
"Just hurry up and declare a coup" - Honeydewistania
"a joke with no punchline" - Minskiev
"purge me daddy" - Praeceps
GA 496
GA 503 (1st in category)
GA 504
GA 509 (1st in category)
GA 510
GA 512
GA 520
GA 523
GA 527
GA 529
GA 530
GA 535*

SC 318
SC 331
SC 333

Issue 1427
Issue 1433
Issue 1438
Issue 1444


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