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[SUBMITTED] Your Highness, You Can Come Out Now

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Daarwyrth
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Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Ex-Nation

[SUBMITTED] Your Highness, You Can Come Out Now

Postby Daarwyrth » Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:47 am

I'd be glad to take people's suggestions there and of course, regarding the whole draft! :)

CURRENT DRAFT:
[Title] Your Highness, You Can Come Out Now

[Validity] Has Monarchy, Has Marriage Equality

[Description] For years, rumour at court had it that the royal family's most prized scion was burdened by a great secret. Yet following the introduction of marriage equality in @@NAME@@, your nation's successor to the throne finally felt confident enough to come out publicly, revealing to secretly have been in a relationship with someone of the same sex for years. Now, the two lovers are asking for permission to marry.

[Option 1a] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the Crown Prince declares, holding his beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Our union will turn the royal family into a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my brothers or their sons next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me, anyway," upon which his lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Effect 1a] it appears royals carry more than blue in their blood after all

[Option 1b] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the Crown Princess declares, holding her beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Our union will turn the royal family into a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my sisters or their daughters next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me, anyway," upon which her lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Effect 1b] it appears royals carry more than blue in their blood after all

[Option 1c] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the royal successor declares, holding @@HIS@@ beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Our union will turn the royal family into a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my siblings or their children next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me, anyway," upon which @@HIS@@ lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Effect 1c] it appears royals carry more than blue in their blood after all

[Option 2] "Alas, but we can't," says elderly Prince @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ with morose solemnity, producing an old tome from inside his dress coat. "See here this line from King Henryk's ancient set of family edicts: 'no monarch of @@NAME@@ shall be wed to one who cannot produce a successor to the throne'. Just ignore the fact that he needed an excuse to end his marriage at the time, so as to be wed to his mistress, ahem. Regardless, as this proposed union cannot produce any offspring naturally, tradition binds us to forbid it. I suggest we quickly find our scion someone of the right gender to marry, so that any heartache may be swiftly forgotten."

[Effect 2] it's difficult not to lose one's head around @@NAME@@'s monarchs

[Option 3] "Traditions can be changed to fit the times, you know," poses the much younger and more modernly oriented Princess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@. "Look to the ancient Romulans, for example. They practiced a system of adoption when it came to succession. If it's imperative that the future monarch of @@NAME@@ is succeeded by their child, I don't see why we simply couldn't let them adopt a family member or someone else they deem suitable as their legal son or daughter. Then there would no longer be any reason to deny a same-sex marriage in our family, no?"

[Effect 3] the already complicated family relations of the royals just became even more complex

[Option 4] "Science to the rescue!" pops up @@RANDOMNAME@@ from behind a curtain, one of @@NAME@@'s leading scientists on stem cell research. "My team and I have discovered a method to manipulate stem cells derived from adult skin, to form male and female reproduction cells, regardless of gender. In other words, we could offer IVF to same-sex couples, without the need for third party donors! All we require is a little bit of healthy funding to develop our preliminary research into viable medical procedures. Given the circumstances, surely we can count on a royal patronage?"
[Validity] Has high Scientific Advancement

[Effect 4] infertility is no longer a valid excuse for monarchs to dispose of their spouses


DRAFT 4:
[Title] Your Highness, You Can Come Out Now

[Validity] Has Monarchy, Has Marriage Equality

[Description] For years, rumour at court had it that the royal family's most prized scion was burdened by a great secret. Yet following the introduction of marriage equality in @@NAME@@, your nation's successor to the throne finally felt confident enough to come out publicly, revealing to secretly have been in a relationship with someone of the same sex for years. Now, the two lovers are asking for permission to marry.

[Option 1a] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the Crown Prince declares, holding his beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Give this union your blessing so that our royal family can become a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my brothers or their sons next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me," upon which his lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Effect 1a] it appears royals carry more than blue in their blood after all

[Option 1b] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the Crown Princess declares, holding her beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Give this union your blessing so that our royal family can become a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my sisters or their daughters next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me," upon which her lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Effect 1b] it appears royals carry more than blue in their blood after all

[Option 1c] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the royal successor declares, holding @@HIS_1@@ beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Give this union your blessing so that our royal family can become a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my siblings or their children next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me," upon which @@HIS_1@@ lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Effect 1c] it appears royals carry more than blue in their blood after all

[Option 2] "Alas, but we can't," says elderly Prince @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ with morose solemnity, producing a dusty, old tome from inside his dress coat. "See here this line from King Henryk's ancient set of family edicts: 'no monarch of @@NAME@@ shall be wed to one who cannot produce a successor to the throne'. Just ignore the fact that he needed an excuse to end his marriage at the time, so as to be wed to his mistress, ahem. Regardless, as this proposed union cannot produce any offspring naturally, tradition binds us to forbid it. I propose we quickly find our scion someone of the right gender to marry, so that any heartache may be swiftly forgotten."

[Effect 2] it's difficult not to lose one's head around @@NAME@@'s monarchs

[Option 3] "Traditions can be changed to fit the times, you know," poses the much younger and more modernly oriented Princess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@. "Look to the ancient Romulans, for example. They practiced a system of adoption when it came to succession. If it's imperative that the future monarch of @@NAME@@ is succeeded by their child, I don't see why we simply couldn't let them adopt a family member or someone else they deem suitable as their legal son or daughter. Then there would no longer be any reason to deny a same-sex marriage in our family, no?"

[Effect 3] the already complicated family relations of the royals just became even more complex

[Option 4] "Science to the rescue!" pops up @@RANDOMNAME@@ from behind a curtain, one of @@NAME@@'s leading scientists on stem cell research. "My team and I have discovered a method to manipulate stem cells derived from adult skin, to form male and female reproduction cells, regardless of gender. In other words, we could offer IVF to same-sex couples, without the need for third party donors! All we require is a little bit of healthy funding to develop our preliminary research into viable medical procedures. Given the circumstances, surely we can count on a royal patronage?"
[Validity] Has high Scientific Advancement

[Effect 4] infertility is no longer a valid excuse for monarchs to dispose of their spouses


DRAFT 3:
[Title] Your Highness, You Can Come Out Now

[Validity] Has Monarchy, Has Marriage Equality

[Description] For years, rumour at court had it that the royal family's most prized scion was burdened by a great secret. Yet after the institution of marriage had been shared with all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, your nation's successor to the throne finally felt confident enough to publicly 'come out', revealing to secretly have been in a relationship with someone of the same-sex for years. Now, the two lovers are asking for permission to marry.

[Option 1a] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the Crown Prince declares, holding his beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Give this union your blessing so our royal family can become a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my brothers or their sons next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me," upon which his lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Effect 1a] it appears royals carry more than blue in their blood after all

[Option 1b] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the Crown Princess declares, holding her beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Give this union your blessing so our royal family can become a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my sisters or their daughters next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me," upon which her lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Effect 1b] it appears royals carry more than blue in their blood after all

[Option 1c] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the royal successor declares, holding @@HIS_1@@ beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Give this union your blessing so our royal family can become a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my siblings or their children next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me," upon which @@HIS_1@@ lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Effect 1c] it appears royals carry more than blue in their blood after all

[Option 2] "Fortunately, we have King Henryk's ancient set of family edicts to protect our bloodline from such indignities," states Prince @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, who has recently been tied up in a scandal about unsavory acquaintances. "'No monarch of @@NAME@@ shall be wed to one who cannot produce a successor to the throne'. Nevermind that he needed an excuse to end his marriage at the time, so as to be wed to his mistress! As these two sodomites cannot produce a child naturally, their heinous union has no right of existence within our family. I say we separate them and find our wayward scion someone more appropriate to marry."

[Effect 2] it's difficult not to lose one's head around @@NAME@@'s monarchs

[Option 3] "Science to the rescue!" pops up @@RANDOMNAME@@ from behind a curtain, one of @@NAME@@'s leading scientists on stem cell research. "My team and I have discovered a method to manipulate stem cells derived from adult skin, to form male and female reproduction cells, regardless of gender. In other words, we could offer IVF to same-sex couples, without the need for third party donors! All we require is a little bit of healthy funding to develop our preliminary research into viable medical procedures. Given the circumstances, surely we can count on a royal patronage?"
[Validity] Has high Scientific Advancement

[Effect 3] infertility is no longer a valid excuse for monarchs to dispose of their spouses


DRAFT 2:
[Title] Your Highness, You Can Come Out Now

[Validity] Has Monarchy, Has Marriage Equality

[Description] After the institution of marriage had been shared with all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, the successor to the @@TYPE@@'s throne finally felt confident enough to publicly 'come out', revealing to secretly have been in a relationship with someone of the same-sex for years. Now, the two lovers are asking for permission to marry.

[Option 1a] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the Crown Prince declares, holding his beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Give this union your blessing so our royal family can become a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my brothers or their sons next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me," upon which his lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Effect 1a] the monarch's cousins furiously try to convince one another that they're gay

[Option 1b] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the Crown Princess declares, holding her beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Give this union your blessing so our royal family can become a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my sisters or their daughters next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me," upon which her lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Effect 1b] the monarch's cousins furiously try to convince one another that they're lesbian

[Option 1c] "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times," the royal successor declares, holding @@HIS_1@@ beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "Give this union your blessing so our royal family can become a beacon of tolerance and equality. And if you're worried about succession, just put one of my siblings or their children next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me," upon which @@HIS_1@@ lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Effect 1c] the monarch's cousins furiously try to convince one another that they're queer

[Option 2] "Fortunately, we have King Henryk's ancient set of family edicts to protect our bloodline from such indignities," states Prince @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, who has recently been tied up in a scandal about unsavory acquaintances. "'No monarch of @@NAME@@ shall be wed to one who cannot produce a successor to the throne'. Nevermind that he needed an excuse to end his marriage at the time, so as to be wed to his mistress! As these two sodomites cannot produce a child naturally, their heinous union has no right of existence in our family. I say we separate them and find our wayward scion someone more appropriate to marry."

[Effect 2] it's difficult not to lose one's head around @@NAME@@'s monarchs

[Option 3] "Ah, but science has the solution!" pops up @@RANDOMNAME@@ from behind a curtain, one of @@NAME@@'s leading scientists on stem cell research. "My team and I have discovered a method to manipulate stem cells derived from adult skin, to form male and female reproduction cells, regardless of gender. In other words, we could offer IVF to same-sex couples, without the need for third party donors! All we require is a little bit of healthy funding to develop our preliminary research into viable medical procedures. Given the circumstances, surely we can count on a royal patronage?"
[Validity] Has high Scientific Advancement

[Effect 3] infertility is no longer a valid excuse for monarchs to dispose of their spouses


DRAFT 1:
[Title] What's Hiding In The Royal Closet?

[Validity] Has Monarchy, Has Marriage Equality

[Description] Quite curiously, the sexual orientation of @@NAME@@'s successor to the throne has always been a topic of incessant speculation. Yet after the institution of marriage had been shared with all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, your royal family's most valued scion felt confident enough to publicly 'come out', revealing to secretly have been in a relationship with someone of the same-sex for years. Now, the two lovers are asking for permission to marry.

[Option 1a] "For too long we have lived under a shroud of falsehoods!" the Crown Prince declares, holding his beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times. Give this union your blessing and let our royal family become a beacon of tolerance and equality! And if the question of heirs concerns you, just put one of my brothers or their sons next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me anyway," upon which his lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Effect 1a] the monarch's cousins furiously try to convince one another that they're gay

[Option 1b] "For too long we have lived under a shroud of falsehoods!" the Crown Princess declares, holding her beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times. Give this union your blessing and let our royal family become a beacon of tolerance and equality! And if the question of heirs concerns you, just put one of my sisters or their daughters next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me anyway," upon which her lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Effect 1b] the monarch's cousins furiously try to convince one another that they're lesbian

[Option 1c] "For too long we have lived under a shroud of falsehoods!" the successor to the throne declares, holding @@HIS_1@@ beloved's hand, who wipes away a carefully choreographed tear. "It's time to show @@REGION@@ that our monarchy moves with the times. Give this union your blessing and let our royal family become a beacon of tolerance and equality! And if the question of heirs concerns you, just put one of my siblings or their children next in line to the throne. They've always cared more for that old thing than they did for me anyway," upon which @@HIS_1@@ lover looks around shiftily.
[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Effect 1c] the monarch's cousins furiously try to convince one another that they're queer

[Option 2] "I've always known there was something off about that fiend," scoffs the elderly Prince @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Fortunately, we have King Henryk's ancient set of family edicts to protect our bloodline from any such indignities. 'No monarch of @@NAME@@ shall be wed to one who cannot produce a successor to the throne'. Just ignore the fact that he needed an excuse to end his marriage at the time, in order to be wed to his mistress, ahem. As these two sodomites cannot produce a child naturally, their heinous union has no right of existence in our family. I say we separate them and find our wayward scion someone more appropriate to marry!"

[Effect 2] it's difficult not to lose one's head around @@NAME@@'s monarchs

[Option 3] "As always, science has the solution!" pops up @@RANDOMNAME@@ from behind a curtain, one of @@NAME@@'s leading scientists on stem cell research. "My team and I have discovered a method to manipulate stem cells derived from adult skin, to form male and female reproduction cells, regardless of gender. In other words, we could offer IVF to same-sex couples, without the need for third party donors! All we require is a little bit of healthy funding to actually develop these methods and to ensure their safety. Given the circumstances, surely we can count on a royal patronage?"
[Validity] Has high Scientific Advancement

[Effect 3] infertility is no longer a valid excuse for monarchs to dispose of their spouses
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Thu Sep 03, 2020 2:12 pm, edited 20 times in total.
The Royal State of Daarwyrth
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Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Capital: Daarsted | Current year: 2022 CE
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Daarwyrth
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Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby Daarwyrth » Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:40 am

As I wasn't entirely satisfied with how the draft looked like after posting it, I have reworked some things and shortened the option lines. I have also thought of a different title that I feel is better than the old one.

I still am unsure about the effect lines 1abc, so I'd be glad to hear people's thoughts about that!
The Royal State of Daarwyrth
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Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Capital: Daarsted | Current year: 2022 CE
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Minskiev
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Left-wing Utopia

Postby Minskiev » Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:44 am

Option 3, it’s @@NAME@@. Happens all the time, don’t worry!

I’m not too sure what the 1abc effect lines...well, mean.

Oh, wait. I get it. Good joke, but not too clear...

Perhaps a clearer one could read:

second-in-lines insist the successor is queer


Something like that.
Last edited by Minskiev on Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Daarwyrth
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Ex-Nation

Postby Daarwyrth » Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:46 am

Minskiev wrote:Option 3, it’s @@NAME@@. Happens all the time, don’t worry!


Ikr? At times it seems so natural to do @@NATION@@ instead of @@NAME@@ xD Fixed it!
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
The Royal State of Daarwyrth
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Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Capital: Daarsted | Current year: 2022 CE
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Minskiev
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Left-wing Utopia

Postby Minskiev » Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:48 am

Ooh, another effect line popped in:

even the royals call their siblings queer


You also only appear to have fixed it in Draft 1.
Last edited by Minskiev on Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Daarwyrth
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Ex-Nation

Postby Daarwyrth » Tue Aug 04, 2020 11:13 am

Minskiev wrote:Ooh, another effect line popped in:

even the royals call their siblings queer


You also only appear to have fixed it in Draft 1.


I indeed only fixed it in draft 1! Scrolled too far down, haha :P

As to the effect line, I like it, but I feel it could be even a little sharper. I'll think about it, but it's a suggestion in the right direction :)
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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Wed Aug 05, 2020 2:01 pm

I have posted a new draft with some tweaks and changes to the draft! I have also finally come up with an effect line for 1abc that I find satisfying :) I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this issue idea!
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Postby Australian rePublic » Wed Aug 05, 2020 2:48 pm

I feel that this would pnly be valid for absolute monarchies. Imagine now Prince Charles asking Boris Johnson who he could marry. It wouldn't happen
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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Wed Aug 05, 2020 2:56 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:I feel that this would pnly be valid for absolute monarchies. Imagine now Prince Charles asking Boris Johnson who he could marry. It wouldn't happen


I disagree. In the Netherlands - a constitutional monarchy - our current King had to ask permission from Parliament to marry the current Queen Maxima, not only because she had a foreign nationality but also because of her father's allegiances. In other words, you could conclude that it was a controversial marriage and required the permission of parliament.

In a similar fashion, there has been not a single gay marriage involving the royal houses. There surely have been closeted kings and queens, but never has a prince, princess or monarch openly married someone of the same sex. As such, this is arguably an equally controversial marriage, that would require the permission of the monarch, the parliament and/or the prime minister, whether the monarchy is absolute or constitutional. It would be an unprecedented occurrence as of yet, which definitely would require a form of permission from a national leader, be they the monarch of not.

Royals in the UK - specifically the first six in line to the throne - do actually need to ask for permission to marry. If the reigning monarch says 'no', then they can ask the Privy Council, unless both houses of Parliament expressed their disapproval of the marriage.
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Wed Aug 05, 2020 3:07 pm, edited 4 times in total.
The Royal State of Daarwyrth
Forest's Minister of Foreign Affairs

Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Capital: Daarsted | Current year: 2022 CE
  • Daarwyrth
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Daarwyrth
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Ex-Nation

Postby Daarwyrth » Wed Aug 12, 2020 3:23 pm

Any new thoughts or comments on this issue draft? :)
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SherpDaWerp
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Benevolent Dictatorship

Postby SherpDaWerp » Sat Aug 15, 2020 3:16 am

Daarwyrth wrote:For years, rumour at court had it that the royal family's most prized scion was burdened by a great secret. Yet after the institution of marriage had been shared with all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, your nation's successor to the throne finally felt confident enough to publicly 'come out', revealing to secretly have been in a relationship with someone of the same-sex for years. Now, the two lovers are asking for permission to marry.
Description seems a tad convoluted. It makes sense, but I reckon it could be made a bit simpler - it's worth catering to the lowest-common-denominator, unless complication is specifically the point of the text (see #987.2).

To give a slightly more concrete example: "Yet after the institution of marriage had been shared with all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@" is a very long-winded way to say "we allowed gay marriage". See if you can tone it down just a couple notches.

Daarwyrth wrote:"'No monarch of @@NAME@@ shall be wed to one who cannot produce a successor to the throne'.
Stylistic preference - even with italics, a double quote immediately followed by a single quote doesn't sit well. It would be better to add some words, even just filler, inbetween to remedy that.
"See here: 'No monarch of @@NAME...


Daarwyrth wrote:two sodomites cannot produce a child naturally
Leaving aside the "bigots are overrated" argument, I'm pretty sure sodomites is specific to gay men, rather than just gay people in general. Not sure what you could replace it with though.
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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Sat Aug 15, 2020 8:16 am

SherpDaWerp wrote:
Daarwyrth wrote:For years, rumour at court had it that the royal family's most prized scion was burdened by a great secret. Yet after the institution of marriage had been shared with all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, your nation's successor to the throne finally felt confident enough to publicly 'come out', revealing to secretly have been in a relationship with someone of the same-sex for years. Now, the two lovers are asking for permission to marry.
Description seems a tad convoluted. It makes sense, but I reckon it could be made a bit simpler - it's worth catering to the lowest-common-denominator, unless complication is specifically the point of the text (see #987.2).

To give a slightly more concrete example: "Yet after the institution of marriage had been shared with all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@" is a very long-winded way to say "we allowed gay marriage". See if you can tone it down just a couple notches.

Daarwyrth wrote:"'No monarch of @@NAME@@ shall be wed to one who cannot produce a successor to the throne'.
Stylistic preference - even with italics, a double quote immediately followed by a single quote doesn't sit well. It would be better to add some words, even just filler, inbetween to remedy that.
"See here: 'No monarch of @@NAME...


Daarwyrth wrote:two sodomites cannot produce a child naturally
Leaving aside the "bigots are overrated" argument, I'm pretty sure sodomites is specific to gay men, rather than just gay people in general. Not sure what you could replace it with though.


I have worked your feedback into the newest draft!

- The premise has been (hopefully) simplified
- The speaker of option 2 is no longer a bigoted cliche
- And on my own initiative I added another option, which I felt would be fitting in this issue

New feedback is again, very welcome :)
The Royal State of Daarwyrth
Forest's Minister of Foreign Affairs

Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Capital: Daarsted | Current year: 2022 CE
  • Daarwyrth
  • Uylensted
  • Kentauria
  • 27 years old male
  • Dutch with Polish roots
  • English literature major
  • Ex-religious gay leftist

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Daarwyrth
Minister
 
Posts: 2416
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Aug 21, 2020 7:42 am

I've put up a new draft with a few minor tweaks! Feedback would be welcome :)
The Royal State of Daarwyrth
Forest's Minister of Foreign Affairs

Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Capital: Daarsted | Current year: 2022 CE
  • Daarwyrth
  • Uylensted
  • Kentauria
  • 27 years old male
  • Dutch with Polish roots
  • English literature major
  • Ex-religious gay leftist

User avatar
Daarwyrth
Minister
 
Posts: 2416
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Aug 28, 2020 8:12 am

Moving this draft to last call! Any final comments and feedback would be welcome, and then somewhere next week I'll be submitting the draft :)
The Royal State of Daarwyrth
Forest's Minister of Foreign Affairs

Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Capital: Daarsted | Current year: 2022 CE
  • Daarwyrth
  • Uylensted
  • Kentauria
  • 27 years old male
  • Dutch with Polish roots
  • English literature major
  • Ex-religious gay leftist

User avatar
Daarwyrth
Minister
 
Posts: 2416
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby Daarwyrth » Thu Sep 03, 2020 2:12 pm

Submitted! Thank you for the comments and feedback :)
The Royal State of Daarwyrth
Forest's Minister of Foreign Affairs

Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Capital: Daarsted | Current year: 2022 CE
  • Daarwyrth
  • Uylensted
  • Kentauria
  • 27 years old male
  • Dutch with Polish roots
  • English literature major
  • Ex-religious gay leftist

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 27167
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Australian rePublic » Thu Sep 03, 2020 3:23 pm

Good Luck
Hard-Core Centrist. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
You don't appreciate the good police officers until you've lived amongst the dregs of society and/or had them as customers
From Greek ancestry Orthodox Christian
Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
I want to commission infrastructure in Australia in real life, if you can help me, please telegram me. I am dead serious


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