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NS Arena Bowl VII [rp/roster/scores]

A battle ground for the sportsmen and women of nations worldwide. [In character]
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Golgothastan
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Posts: 1186
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Iron Fist Consumerists

NS Arena Bowl VII [rp/roster/scores]

Postby Golgothastan » Thu Jul 30, 2020 3:12 pm

Welcome to all visiting teams, support staff, accredited media, non-accredited media, fans, and assorted camp followers of the NS Arena Bowl. This tournament’s 7th (or 8th? Golgothastanis have trouble counting that high after a few shots of turnip vodka) edition will be hosted in the nation of Golgothastan. After you have checked your baggage (i.e. checked what of your baggage the thieving little street urchins have made off with), cleared customs (specifically, the custom of consuming clear liquor with every meal, transaction, and minor surgery) and taken the scenic tour of the country’s cultural highlights (many of which you may recognize from the galleries and museums of other richer, but laxer on security, countries) you are invited to make yourselves at home in the locations you’ll be playing in for the next week.

In the absence of any ranked seeding, groups were determined entirely at random through racing 16 distinctively marked ferrets through the headquarters of GolgoSports (OOC: or, more boringly, through RNG).

Group One

Welcome to scenic Heysátan! The bucolic charm of this idyllic rural locale will, OK boys, think that’s enough flowery language to distract them the overpowering smell of horse manure? While staying here, you may enjoy surveying the rolling fields of such diverse crops as turnips, turnips, and turnips, petting the adorable samskeyti as they frolic and play, or taking a stroll through the nearby woods where the smells of wildflowers, fresh pine, and burnt-out meth labs permeate the air. Games will be played at the Slaughterhouse Arena, which used to be used for… let’s just say, don’t get too attached to the adorable samskeyti.

Abanhfleft
Lisander
Silver Beach
Northwest Kalactin

Group Two

Welcome to charming Mílanó! This quaint suburb, which is totally not an immense rolling favela of deprivation, sprawls out from the edge of the capital. [Because breathing in the city's notoriously polluted “air” constitutes a severe health hazard, no teams will be based in Sæglópur itself.] Mílanó is a place where there’s always something going on, whether it’s a game of street soccer, an impromptu party, or a violent carjacking. Usually, it’s the carjacking. Nearly always, the carjacking. Please don’t bring your cars. Games will be played at the Mílanó Municipal Sports Center. Don’t be put off by the ‘traditional’ building style, and don’t worry about the rain hammering down on the rusty corrugated iron roof: by the time the game’s over, the acidity of the rain will have eaten through it.

The Jovannic
Golgothastan
Kohnhead
HUElavia

Group Three

Welcome to beautiful Álafoss! Located in the shadow of Mount Golgothastan, the country’s only significant elevation and source of entertaining local folk traditions that it houses a giant radioactive mole who will one day break free and destroy us all, Álafoss is the hub of winter sports activity in Golgothastan. Or was, when we were located in the Antarctic … since relocated to a tropical rainforest region, the ski run has admittedly seen a bit of a dip in custom, but many horror directors have now taken to the spooooky environment, with twisted vines trailing through abandoned facilities, to film their latest projects as part of the ‘Golgywood’ boom. As such, games will be played in Studio Lot B of the Valtari Studios production lot. Ooh look, a man with a huge knife, they must be filming another great new horror movie! Wow, looks realistic. Wait… Run.

Megistos
Jeckland
Sarzonia
Delaclava

Group Four

Welcome to seaside Fljótavík! The tang of sea-salt, the crashing boom of wave on rock; together, they’re almost enough to block out the terrifying smells and sounds coming from the WhaleCo Global LLC industrial blubber-rendering facilities that dot Fljótavík’s hinterlands. We can recommend dinghy rides, surfing, swimming with dolphins – really, anything to get you off-shore and away from the dying screams is going to be a good idea. Games will be played in the GolgoSports Summer Complex, a purpose-built facility for indoor sports training, such as futsal, indoor field hockey, and competitive seal-clubbing.

Kriegiersien
Sixty-ninE X
Devonta
Terre Septentrionale

Below is the provisional schedule. Cut-offs will occur at 0900 UTC (1000 BST).

Group stage:

2020-08-06: MD1, 1v4, 2v3

2020-08-08: MD2, 4v3, 1v2

2020-08-10: MD3, 3v1, 2v4

2020-08-12: Off day (tournament break, reserved in case a play-in game is needed for quarter-finals)

Knockout stage:

2020-08-14: Quarter-finals

2020-08-16: Semi-finals

2020-08-18: 3PPO, Team of the Tournament announced

2020-08-20: Final

Rosters

You may submit rosters in any format. Please note that this tournament will be taking place entirely within Golgothastan, and therefore no games will be played at national home arenas. Also of note: style modifiers will not be used for this tournament.

Please include an RP permissions box in your roster post, such as the following sample version:

Code: Select all
[u]RP Permissions[/u]
[b]Choose my scorers:[/b]
[b]Godmod scoring events:[/b]
[b]RP injuries to my players:[/b]
[b]Godmod injuries to my players:[/b]
[b]Suspend my players:[/b]
[b]Godmod suspension events[/b]:
[b]Godmod other events:[/b]


A note on COVID-19 and pandemics in general

While some people may want to roleplay their nations reacting to RL or imaginary pandemics, others may wish to avoid that kind of content on NS Sports. As such, I would like to ask that no one introduce any pandemic threat to the host nation. That way no one will be forced to RP a reaction to anything that might be going on in your own home nation, over which every player of course retains total autonomy.

OOC links

Last edited by Golgothastan on Tue Aug 18, 2020 2:00 am, edited 10 times in total.

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Northwest Kalactin
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Postby Northwest Kalactin » Thu Jul 30, 2020 3:26 pm

Kalactanian Arena Football Team
Gold Coast, Northwest Kalactin Sporting Commision
A Kalactanian Official walks into a meeting, probably nothing important, most likely an argument about if they should put 5 strikers on the National Team.

“Guys, we just got a letter, it says we need to submit a match card for the Arena Bowl 6?” The official says.

“The Arena what?” A man asks from nearby

“The Arena Bowl, remember we signed up for it, it is in Golgothastan.”

“Well none of us here know the first thing about the sport, lets pull up a picture of positions.”

“Do we even have an Arena Football League?”

“No, outside of a few semi-pro teams in Coffs.”

“Alright, let’s make a squad boys!”

Quarterback
Paul Wright

Running Back
Daniel Ross
Ed Davis

Offensive Specialist
Earl Collins
Henry White


Offensive Line
Terry Rodriguez
Carlos Murphy
Jerry Smith
Douglas Gonzalez- Tight End Lineman Thing

Arthur Martin

Defensive Line
Joshua Cooper
Timothy Harris
Billy Powell
Arthur Martin

Mike Stewart

Two Way Players That Are Playing the Other Defensive Thing
Paul Wright
Daniel Ross
Ed Davis
Carlos Murphy

Jerry Smith
Douglas Gonzalez


“Hey there we go, we are pretty good at this!”

“Let’s hope we made the roster correct, we wouldn’t want to make mistake at a sport like this.”

“Wait, did we just send a ton of retired NKGFL players to play some other type of football?”

“Yup”

“That’s not gonna end well.”

“Who gives a crap, we only signed up for the free drinks.”
Current Champions of the AO Lacrosse Invitational
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RP population: 23 million
Call me NK
AO4LIFE
I don’t use NS stats
Sporting News Kalactin Website

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Sarzonia
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Posts: 6289
Founded: Mar 22, 2004
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Sarzonia » Thu Jul 30, 2020 3:43 pm

ROLEPLAY PERMISSIONS BOX
Code: Select all
    If my opponent RPs first, I give him permission to:
    [b]Choose my scorers:[/b] Yes
    [b]Godmod scoring events:[/b] Yes
    [b]RP injuries to my players:[/b] No
    [b]Godmod injuries to my players:[/b] No
    [b]Penalize my players or coaches:[/b] Yes
    [b]Eject my players or coaches:[/b] Yes, as long as you do the same for your people
    [b]Godmod other events:[/b] TG me first.


Sarzonia Stars

Head Coach: Chad Embry (37 years old)
Recently retired from a playing career in Delaclava as a well-traveled backup quarterback, Embry brings a conventional style of offense for arena gridball and a reputation as a players' coach. He calls his own offensive plays.

Assistant head coach/defensive coordinator: Skip Donahue (66 years old)
He lost out on the head coaching role to Embry, but they hit it off so well during the run up to the coaching announcement that he readily accepted the defensive coordinator role. He will call all defensive plays and prefers an aggressive defensive scheme.

Special teams coordinator: Thad Regala (43 years old)
Regala punted for 11 years in the Sarzonian outdoor gridball system, then took on an apprenticeship as an assistant coach at various high schools and universities before he became a special teams assistant with Catherina in the Delaclav indoor gridball league.

Quarterbacks coach: Gavin Davis (33 years old)
Davis played in the Sarzonian outdoor league for years, but he's best known as the starting quarterback for Sarzonia's two-time World Bowl champion national gridball team.

Line coach: Joe Agnew (48 years old)
Agnew played five years in the now-defunct Sarzonian gridball league, earning the league's best two-way player honours in 2006.

Running backs/linebackers coach: Cal Pendry (39 years old)
Pendry played linebacker for nine seasons in the outdoor game and began coaching his daughter as a running back for her university gridball team.

Receivers/defensive backs coach: Philip Longley (41 years old)
Longley played wide receiver for 11 years and played three games as a free safety when his outdoor gridball team suffered multiple injuries in its defensive secondary. He served as a defensive backs coach for the Raleigh Knights semipro side in Sarzonia for four years.

ROSTER
Starting Lineup (10 players are listed; one quarterback and one defensive specialist and one kicker)
QB 12 Clark Weston (6-foot-2, 225 pounds), known as a pocket passer with a strong deep arm, he isn't going to gain a lot of yards on the ground, but he can be elusive in the pocket
RB/LB 21 Alvin Pendry (5-foot-8, 195 pounds), small and elusive, he's able to duck under hits and prevent himself from getting the brunt of the most vicious contact.
WR/CB 23 Sylvain Landry (6-foot-1, 200 pounds), great combination of size and speed and great hands make him a terrific all around threat. Still a work in progress as a defensive back.
WR/CB 34 Barry Tomlin (5-foot-9, 182 pounds), absolute burner on offense who's expected to be a shutdown corner on defense.
TE/LB 46 Lawrence Tyler (6-foot-2, 230 pounds), better known as a terrifying linebacker and phenomenal hitter than a tight end, although he's a good possession receiver when needed
OT/DT 60 Asante Daniels (6-foot-5, 329 pounds), great blind side blocker who can take up space on the defensive line and push back most offensive tackles
C/NT 53 Howie Bostic (6-foot-3, 296 pounds), arguably the smartest player on the roster; he calls all the line signals on both sides of the ball
OT/DT 70 Kyle Michaels (6-foot-4, 300 pounds), brilliant pass rusher who's made impressive strides as a blocker on offense.
DS 33 Dylan Geoffrey (6-foot-3, 215 pounds), a ferocious hitter with the coverage ability of a cornerback, he can often resolve matchup problems with bigger, faster receivers if necessary
K: Joe Avant (6-foot-2, 205 pounds), one of the few kickers who works out with and does drills with the team, he can often be seen hanging out with the receivers/defensive backs and can make the occasional special teams tackle

Reserves
QB 10 Ja'relle Gaffney (6-foot-0, 195 pounds), unlike Weston, Gaffney is a scrambler. He does not have the best deep arm, but he's deadly accurate on short to medium throws.
RB/LB 39 John Crowley (6-foot-1, 235 pounds), he often handles the short-yardage role and can bring a powerful running style to spell the fleet Pendry.
OL/DL 63 Reggie Thompson (6-foot-3, 320 pounds), mostly a tackle, but can play center or nose tackle in an emergency
OL/DL 77 Hugh Thomas (6-foot-6, 350 pounds), he's a brick wall and often plays nose tackle on defense and offensive tackle
FB/LB 52 Reed Davis (5-foot-11, 260 pounds), no relation to the quarterbacks coach; known more for being an edge rusher on defense
WR/DB 80 Willie Laws (5-foot-10, 185 pounds), played defensive back in the outdoor game; this is his first time potentially playing offense and it's his first exposure to the indoor game
WR/DB 82 Chris Stallworth (6-foot, 200 pounds), he grew up with the indoor game, and is the best combination of offensive and defensive skillsets on the roster.
DS 34 Kevin Lowery (6-foot-1, 200 pounds), he played strong safety in college and in the outdoor game.
Last edited by Sarzonia on Fri Jul 31, 2020 11:25 am, edited 2 times in total.
World Lacrosse Council President. Member of the FWC and WBC Councils and the WCoH Federation.
World Cup 22; World Baseball Classic 18; Di Bradini Cup 8 (U21 World Cup 29); World Bowl XI & XIV; FHWC 15 & 18; Quidditch World Cup 9; NS World Cup of Masters; World Indoor Soccer Championship I; Aussie Rules Football World Cup I; World Softball Classic I; AOCAF XII & XXIX; 3-time Draggonnii Inviyatii champions; 4-time IBC champions; 5-time WLC winners and Scott Cup champions.
First nation to win NSWC grand slam (Baptism of Fire Cup 3; Cup of Harmony 10; World Cup 22; AOCAF XII and XXIX). NSWC Hall of Fame
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Terre Septentrionale
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Posts: 495
Founded: May 31, 2019
Democratic Socialists

Postby Terre Septentrionale » Thu Jul 30, 2020 4:57 pm

Équipe nationale de football en aréna de Terre Septentrionale
Reprezentacja Nordycki w Arena Futbol
Northern Land National Arena Football Team


Nation Name in French: République de Terre Septentrionale
Nation name in Polish: Rzeczpospolita Polnocna
Nation Name in English: Republic of Northern Land
Short Nation names: Terre Septentrionale / Ziemia Polnocna / Northern Land
Trigramme: RTS
Demonym: Septentrional (plural: Septentrionaux)
Nicknames: Nordiques, Reprezentacja Nordycki, Northmen
Team colors: Green, white and red

History:

Overall record: 4-3

Arena Bowl VI: 4-3 - 4th place (Loss in 3rd place playoffs game)

Staff:

Head Coach	Pierre-Yves Larochelle	48	
OC & QB coach Radosław Gronkowski 54
DC & HB/LB coach Mirosław Kolakowski 47
WR/DB coach Dragomir Petrović 41
OL/DL coach Czeslaw Lukaszewicz 49
ST coach Marie-Denise Noiseux 51


Team captains:

Buck Schwarzer (offense)
Jakub Grzeskowiak (defense)
Alex Gonzalez (both)

The players:

Note: The defensive specialist plays linebacker.

Note: Kaser is more talented than Schwarzer but he was recently released from his outdoor football team and signed with an arena football team. He never played arena football, while Schwarzer plays arena football for at least 5 years.

QB	2	Buck Schwarzer	        25	Port O'Connor Desperados
RB/LB 33 Cédric Plante 27 Ostrzeszow Crusaders
WR/DB 88 Bobby McGee III 24 Rzodkiewnica SaberCats
WR/DB 80 Marie-Lou Louisjeune 25 Express de Jacques-Cartier
WR/DB 25 Matt Salazar 24 Rzodkiewnica SaberCats
OL/DL 57 Alex Gonzalez 27 Port O'Connor Desperados
OL/DL 96 Bo Lumbala 24 Express de Jacques-Cartier
OL/DL 91 Dominique Parker 27 Chiefs de Kamouraska
DS 50 Jakub Grzeskowiak 29 Ostrzeszow Crusaders
K/P 3 Tomislav Bodrožić 22 Prédateurs de Yamaska


QB	15	Jake Kaser	        34	Prédateurs de Yamaska
QB 17 Nate McGovern 23 Ostrzeszow Crusaders
RB/LB 40 Garrett O'Connell 27 Zdzieszowice Bengals
RB/LB 10 Nick Pfizenmayer 25 Loups de Prévost
WR/DB 81 Krzysztof Kaczorowski 34 Rzodkiewnica SaberCats
WR/DB 83 Jamal Henderson 28 Prédateurs de Yamaska
WR/DB 24 Josephine Kruse 28 Loups de Prévost
OL/DL 95 Dom Paolucci 27 Zdzieszowice Bengals
OL/DL 64 Wyatt Mortensen 25 Loups de Prévost
OL/DL 90 Željko Stojanović 23 Prédateurs de Yamaska
DS 52 Tyler Jansen 35 Prédateurs de Yamaska
DS 48 Keionta Reed 30 Chiefs de Kamouraska
K/P 22 James Neely Jr. 27 Ostrzeszow Crusaders


My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my Scorers: Yes
Choose Scoring Events: Yes
Godmod Scoring Events: Yes
RP Injuries to my Players: Yes (I'll choose the severity)
Godmod Injuries to my Players: No
Suspend my players: Yes
Godmod suspension events: Yes
Godmod Other Events: Yes
Nation name: République de Terre Septentrionale | Trigramme: RTS | Capital: Ville Jacques-Cartier | Maps
Ranks: Hockey: 20th | American Football: 12th | Baseball: 17th | Association Football: 29th | Rugby Union: 42nd
Champions:
Runner Up: Cup of Harmony 76, International Baseball Slam XI
3rd Place:
4th Place: Arena Bowl VI
World Cup participations: WC 85 (3rd place in group)

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Kriegiersien
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Posts: 786
Founded: Jul 07, 2010
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Kriegiersien » Sun Aug 02, 2020 6:44 am

Before the Olympics the American Football teams tests their skills in the NS Arena Bowl. The male and female team created a joint Arena Football team.

As always playing in their black Olympic jerseys.
Image


For this sport even with
Image


Head coach:
Tushar Jean-Claude
Levan Hershel

Offensive coordinator:
Kajetán Hinrich
Wassim Beornræd

Defensive coordinator:
Kazimír Thoko
Aravind Rico

Special teams coach:
Conchita Denice
Rehoboam Albin

Quarterback coach:
Frida Ilham
Simona Friðþjófr

Offensive line coach:
Chiyo Susie
Eindriði Davud

Defensive line coach:
Slapdud
Gutjja

Linebacker coach:
Womrikug
Mul

Medical Staff:
Doc Groooom

Cook:
Milli Fatbemme

Image



Player:

Offense

Quarterback:
David Chippendale
Agatha Raisin

Center:
Alexander Alexios
Sera David

Running back:
Jack Roadrunner
Mel Di Brandini

Fullback:
Jack Fat
Dora Dumpling

Wide receiver:
Jack White
Whitey Whiteman
Nils Dobs
Uruk Hai
Hildegard Nuskatmus
Wanya Wide
Christina Conman
Gora Gonzales

Tight end:
Dudagog
Both
Ugak
Dura

Left guard and right guard:
Liam Left
Roger Right
Lila Links
Rwanda Rechts

Left tackle and right tackle:
Dan Droit
Greg Gauche
Dora Droit
Gina Gauche

Defense

Defensive tackle:
Arrgard
Vrukox
Zoghuk
Urgana

Defensive end:
Uzgax
Tubor
Brurkagus
Skarbreakah

Linebacker:
Doomsmasha
Fistslasha
Eadbashah
Strongfang
Zudbrog
Gridrurd
Gritzmogar
Skakgokh
Hrahrblagg
Gloomkleava

Safety:
Fistboila
Fostrorlim Caskbelt
Skarwhackah
Lolulynn Beasttank

Cornerback:
Gostrarlug Merrysunder
Turfuil Barrelgrip
Hewiline Opaltank
Gruzmaerika Coincoat


Many of the teams defense are Orcs and Dwarfs out of 'recent expansions' in Kriegiersien.
Last edited by Kriegiersien on Mon Aug 03, 2020 1:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Golgothastan
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Postby Golgothastan » Mon Aug 03, 2020 9:44 am

AP- Chaotic rioting engulfs Golgothastan, Arena Bowl opening ceremony delayed

The two aren’t related: chaoting rioting had already engulfed Golgothastan.

(OOC: Or in other words, I have pushed the start date back 2 days. MD1 now begins on the 6th, and subsequent games are 2 days later.)

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Sarzonia
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Posts: 6289
Founded: Mar 22, 2004
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Sarzonia » Wed Aug 05, 2020 5:52 am

The seventh edition of the NS Arena Bowl is a different experience for Chad Embry and the Sarzonian national indoor gridball team.

The previous edition saw Sarzonia return to a competition it helped bring to the multiverse, first as The Sarzonian Indoor Gridball Cup, then as the host nation for the first three Arena Bowls themselves. That initial tournament retained the name as The Sarzonian Indoor Gridball Cup officially, though it also became known colloquially as Arena Bowl 0.

As the country withdrew from international sports, other countries picked up the mantle of the Arena Bowl. As Sarzonia returned from an extended absence, they returned to the competition of indoor gridball they helped bring to the multiverse.

During the previous edition, one team emerged as a juggernaut that couldn't be stopped, and could barely be slowed down. St. Kanye dominated the sixth Arena Bowl, winning nearly every match by wide margins. Even host nation and nearly as dominating Abanhfleft lost going away. The Yeezies were dominant, all right, except against one team. Sarzonia.

Before the Yeezies and the Stars battled it out in the semifinals, St. Kanye's closest victory was by 14 points in a quarterfinals contest that would have scared lesser teams. However, Sarzonia were determined to not let the Yeezies intimidate them. They took a halftime lead against St. Kanye, but were forced to come back with backup quarterback Ja'relle Gaffney subbing for an injured Clark Weston. St. Kanye prevailed 36-32 as the Stars held the Yeezies to by far their lowest point total of the competition and the lowest margin of victory.

After the match, several Stars players had looks of "we'll get you back" on their faces. Relegated to the third place playoff, Sarzonia captured the bronze medal easily, but were champing at the bit for another shot at St. Kanye. Unfortunately, however, the country didn't send a team.

Embry said the team didn't care if the Yeezies absence cleared an easier path to a possible title for the Stars. They wanted the best form of revenge against them by defeating the previous edition's champions.

"That has the makings of a great rivalry, something that would benefit the sport," Embry said. "Our guys felt we should've beaten the Yeezies. We wanted to get back at them after such a tough loss."

Now they'll have to do it by striving for their first title without a team that could have been their newest rival. However, the Stars aren't going to be bereft of a potential rival as Delaclava joins Sarzonia, Jeckland, and Megistos in Group 3 in Álafoss. Sarzonia may have minimal history with either Jeckland or Megistos across a variety of sports, but Delaclava plays a major role in Sarzonia's sporting and cultural history.

"We're looking forward to playing them," Weston said. "You want games like that."

The main difference for Embry and company besides the loss of one potential rivalry and the potential rekindling of another is the fact this Stars team has been here before. Weston returns to the starting lineup and takes a team that may well be the favourites with both the champions and finalists from the previous edition having elected not to send teams. However, Embry dismissed that notion.

"We can't believe press clippings," he said. "This is a completely different campaign and we can't afford any missteps."

As for rioting taking place in the host nation, Embry said his team wasn't concerned about it.

"We're just going to take precautions," he said. "We've been near war footing before and it hasn't affected us. No reason why it should now."
Last edited by Sarzonia on Wed Aug 05, 2020 9:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
World Lacrosse Council President. Member of the FWC and WBC Councils and the WCoH Federation.
World Cup 22; World Baseball Classic 18; Di Bradini Cup 8 (U21 World Cup 29); World Bowl XI & XIV; FHWC 15 & 18; Quidditch World Cup 9; NS World Cup of Masters; World Indoor Soccer Championship I; Aussie Rules Football World Cup I; World Softball Classic I; AOCAF XII & XXIX; 3-time Draggonnii Inviyatii champions; 4-time IBC champions; 5-time WLC winners and Scott Cup champions.
First nation to win NSWC grand slam (Baptism of Fire Cup 3; Cup of Harmony 10; World Cup 22; AOCAF XII and XXIX). NSWC Hall of Fame
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Kohnhead
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Posts: 266
Founded: May 29, 2018
Father Knows Best State

Postby Kohnhead » Wed Aug 05, 2020 12:22 pm

Kohnhead Arena Bowl Squad

Nation Name: The Galactic Empire of Kohnhead
Shortened Name: Kohnhead
Nickname: The Brains
Record: 0-0
Team Info: Arena football is not a very played sport in Kohnhead. This is partially because the government made it illegal 15 years ago but recently undid that ban. They don't even have enough players to field a full team so some will have to play on both sides of the ball, and this does include quarterbacks

Head Coach: Janice Alexander (59) (F)

Offensive Coordinator: Tracey Bradshaw (47) (F)

Defensive Coordinator: Ishaan Rivers (72) (M)


Roster

(C) QB 1/LB 1: Ollie Beattie (28) (M)
QB 2/CB 2: Tyron Valencia (24) (M)
RB 1/CB 4: Murphy Carr (22) (M)
RB 2/S 2: Zachery Rodgers (35) (M)
WR 1/CB 1: Connie Rhodes (20) (F)
WR 2/S 1: Braydon Robles (28) (M)
WR 3/CB 2: Nikki Weber (27) (F)
WR 4/ LB 3: Diane Morin (24) (F)
TE 1/DE 1: Eduardo Serrano (29) (M)
TE 2/DE 3: Mindy Hall (45) (F)
OT 1/DT 1: Spencer Hernandez (34) (M)
C 1/ DT 2: Phoebe Ryan (23) (F)
OT 2/DE 2: Linda Cartwright (24) (F)
C 2/ LB 2: Steve Ray (34) (M)
OT 3/ K: Norman Villarreal (17) (M)
DS: Luther Chang (32) (M)

Offensive Starters:
Beattie
Carr
Rhodes
Robles
Serrano
Hernandez
Ryan
Cartwright

Defensive Starters:
Serrano
Cartwright
Hernandez
Beattie
Rhodes
Weber
Robles
Chang


RP Permissions
Choose my scorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y
RP injuries to my players: Y
Godmod injuries to my players: Y
Suspend my players: Y
Godmod suspension events: Y
Godmod other events: Y but not pandemic related
Last edited by Kohnhead on Thu Aug 06, 2020 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Kohnhead

Sporting Achievements
Soccer:
2nd Wonder Cup Champions
48th Di Bradini Cup/69th U21WC 4th place

Tennis:
Outdoor Hard Court Season 6 Steinigestrasse Open Runner Up (Singles)
Clay Court Season 6 Istria Open Semifinals (Singles)
Clay Court Season 6 Mattijana Open Semifinals (Singles)
Clay Court Season 6 Hamilton International Semifinals (Singles)

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Delaclava
Senator
 
Posts: 4404
Founded: Jul 30, 2008
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Delaclava » Wed Aug 05, 2020 1:23 pm

Delaclava national arena football team

The indoor football Phoenixes consist primarily of high-skill collegiates, recent graduates, and semi-pros. While they do not currently play in an active indoor football league, their games are well-suited to this format, and their skill level is such that they all have realistic chances of making a UGL roster in the near future. This team also sees the return of Jaxx Underwood and Kieran Conley, two members of the national gridiron team who hosted and made the Round of 16 in the recently finished World Bowl.

Coach: Buck Clifton, Bishop's

#	Pos.	Name	        Age	Height	Weight	College
10 QB Brad Fritz 23 6-3 180 Ixtlajamo
23 FB/LB Cecil Gusman 24 6-2 195 Velodri
70 LT/LE Ryan Connelly 21 6-4 220 Athens
68 C/NT Rado Gekas 20 6-4 240 Ixtlajamo
79 RT/RE Tyson Veitch 25 6-6 240 Bishop's
19 TE/LB Juan Mackey 22 6-3 200 Skladdul
13 WR/DB Alan Ford 21 6-1 175 Sanders College
7 OS (WR) Ricky Rudolph 20 6-2 185 Lansing State
31 DS (DB) Theo Leonard 23 5-11 170 Sosuk
28 DS (DB) Jaxx Underwood 25 6-1 175 Straka State
5 K Kieran Conley 26 5-10 160 Van der Veil

1 QB Martin Tate 22 6-2 190 San Salvacion
44 FB/LB Michael Mack 20 6-0 205 UR Athens
91 LT/LE Rulon Barkley 24 6-1 245 Ixtlajamo
94 C/NT Brian Tripp 24 6-3 240 Sosuk
97 RT/RE Kelly Cantor 21 6-5 250 Catherina Mountain
49 TE/LB Fedor Vovchanchyn23 5-11 220 St. James
82 WR/DB Vincent Bett 21 6-3 170 Laurelum
86 OS (WR) Calum Knox 22 6-1 170 UB Manchester
32 DS (DB) Jake Holl 21 6-2 175 US Quinniville


RP Permissions
Choose my scorers: Yes
Godmod scoring events: No
RP injuries to my players: No
Godmod injuries to my players: No
Suspend my players: No
Godmod suspension events: No
Godmod other events: No
2x WORLD BOWL CHAMPIONS (13 & 15)
Champions of World Team Tennis Championship 2 and 3, Quidditch World Cup 2, Baptism of Iron 2
2nd: World Bowl 11, World Lacrosse Championships 16, AO Hockey Championship 7, AO Basketball Championship 5
3rd: World Cup of Hockey 16, Di Bradini Cup 15

HOSTS OF WORLD CUP 55, CUP OF HARMONY 44 AND 46, BAPTISM OF FIRE 72; World Bowl 11, 15, and 39; IBC 7; AOCAF 31; etc.

User avatar
Golgothastan
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1186
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Golgothastan » Thu Aug 06, 2020 1:10 am

Arena football is hardly a mainstream sport in Golgothastan, but fortunately the small squad size means it has been popular to scratch together a squad. Arena football is mostly played in cities, at nights, by amateurs. Golgothastan operates under the platoon system: six two-way players, with two specialists on either side of the ball.

Quarterback

Bastían Bjarkansson

The only player on the team with any professional experience, Bastían played Austinite football in college and subsequently has played on several teams, of both Austinite football and arena football, around the world, usually as a back-up. He has a big, if slightly erratic arm, and loves to scramble both broken plays and broken eggs. Team captain.

Offensive specialist

Þorberg Gauason

One of the most offensive people in all Golgothastan, Þorberg is a fishmonger by trade, with excellent hands and the ability to catch almost anything thrown his way. Unfortunately once he has it, he’s not particularly fast, agile, or familiar with basic playing rules.

Iron men

Hásteinn Líamsson
Ottó Heimisson
Gunnsteinn Hallþórsson
Vöggur Snæhólmsson
Árgils Mortansson
Príor Sólimannsson

Construction workers, warehouse hands, artificial inseminators of wild samskeyti … these are the big, hard men whose physiques and temperaments reflect their day jobs, and carry over into doing the physical stuff on the field, whether it’s playing as linemen, tight ends and fullbacks on offense, or linemen, linebackers and safeties on defense, fueled on hearty diets of turnip and extra rations of wodka.

Defensive specialists

Tonni Trúmannsson
Jónatan Eyleifsson

The team’s two player-coaches are stats nerd computer guys, who spend a lot of time when they should be doing network admin on Golgothastan’s creaking internet instead playing fantasy arena football. They’re a bit more competent than the rest of the side, but probably not a physical match for the world’s best.

Kicker

Dissý Sveinmarsdóttir

The youngest member of the team, Dissý has just one job – kicking the ball – which she does pretty well. A college soccer player, she started playing arena football to help pay for school.

RP Permissions
Choose my scorers: Yes, but use Dissý for kicks
Godmod scoring events: Yes
RP injuries to my players: Yes, but I have no subs so no game-ending injuries
Godmod injuries to my players: Yes, as above
Suspend my players: No
Godmod suspension events: No
Godmod other events: Yes, you have more or less total freedom

User avatar
Golgothastan
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1186
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Golgothastan » Thu Aug 06, 2020 2:06 am

Your cutoff comes with a copy of the Sæglópur Sentinel. Here are some of the section highlights:

NEWS - "Riots sweep the streets"

POLITICS - "Parliament burned down (again) by rioters"

TRAVEL - "10 sunny hot-spots: your guide to the best places to riot this summer"

FASHION - "Flame-retardant maxi-dress lets you look fabulous while hurling molotovs"

OPINION - "Point: let's riot" / "Counterpoint: let's riot harder"

BUSINESS - "Lack of foreign direct investment in Golgothastan mystifies economists"




Heysátan Group
Abanhfleft 15–58 Northwest Kalactin
Lisander 65–20 Silver Beach

Heysátan Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Lisander 1 1 0 65 20 +45 1
2 Northwest Kalactin 1 1 0 58 15 +43 1
3 Abanhfleft 1 0 1 15 58 −43 0
4 Silver Beach 1 0 1 20 65 −45 0

Mílanó Group
The Jovannic 50–33 HUElavia
Golgothastan 37–49 Kohnhead

Mílanó Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 The Jovannic 1 1 0 50 33 +17 1
2 Kohnhead 1 1 0 49 37 +12 1
3 Golgothastan 1 0 1 37 49 −12 0
4 HUElavia 1 0 1 33 50 −17 0

Álafoss Group
Megistos 32–62 Delaclava
Jeckland 25–84 Sarzonia

Álafoss Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Sarzonia 1 1 0 84 25 +59 1
2 Delaclava 1 1 0 62 32 +30 1
3 Megistos 1 0 1 32 62 −30 0
4 Jeckland 1 0 1 25 84 −59 0

Fljótavík Group
Kriegiersien 52–53 Terre Septentrionale
Sixty-ninE X 54–51 Devonta

Fljótavík Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Sixty-ninE X 1 1 0 54 51 +3 1
2 Terre Septentrionale 1 1 0 53 52 +1 1
3 Kriegiersien 1 0 1 52 53 −1 0
4 Devonta 1 0 1 51 54 −3 0
Last edited by Golgothastan on Thu Aug 06, 2020 2:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Sarzonia
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6289
Founded: Mar 22, 2004
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Sarzonia » Thu Aug 06, 2020 7:02 am

The team that was the juggernaut of the previous edition of the NS Arena Bowl may not be competing in the current iteration. Nor is the team it demolished in the final. St. Kanye and Free Republics both opted not to send teams after the sixth edition.

Sarzonia coach Chad Embry isn't willing or ready to embrace the role of favourite in the seventh NS Arena Bowl despite his team being the closest to a defending champion any team would be. His Stars won the third place playoff and were the only team to hold St. Kanye to a single-digit margin of victory.

"There's really no favourite here," Embry said in a press conference that was moved due to ongoing rioting in the streets near the team's practice facility. "We don't have the team we expected to have to get through to contend for a title, so everything's wide open."

That may be, but Sarzonia took the first step toward possibly setting themselves up as the favourites with an 84-25 shellacking of Jeckland in the Álafoss Group opener for both teams. Stars quarterback Clark Weston threw seven touchdown passes before sitting out for most of the third quarter and the entire fourth quarter in favour of backup quarterback Ja'relle Gaffney.

"I just wanted to get Ja'relle playing time," Embry said. "We were executing extremely well on both sides of the ball. I couldn't be happier about how well we played." Even though it was only one match, the Stars lead the 16-team field in points scored, 19 more than second place Lisander, and in point differential with 59, 14 points better than Lisander.

That sets the stage for the match all of Cyanea has been anticipating between Sarzonia and Delaclava. The Phoenixes knocked off Megistos 62-32, and now the match between the multi-sport rivals serves as a de facto battle for the group title and the guaranteed stay for at least one more match.

Weston said he expected the Stars and the Phoenixes to qualify out of Álafoss and added that he wouldn't be surprised to face Delaclava in the knockout rounds.

"Jeckland and Megistos might use this as bulletin board material, but I don't fucking care," he said. "Delaclava is a tough out in pretty much everything they play. They're not going to be any different now. If we beat them, we're going to have to earn it."
World Lacrosse Council President. Member of the FWC and WBC Councils and the WCoH Federation.
World Cup 22; World Baseball Classic 18; Di Bradini Cup 8 (U21 World Cup 29); World Bowl XI & XIV; FHWC 15 & 18; Quidditch World Cup 9; NS World Cup of Masters; World Indoor Soccer Championship I; Aussie Rules Football World Cup I; World Softball Classic I; AOCAF XII & XXIX; 3-time Draggonnii Inviyatii champions; 4-time IBC champions; 5-time WLC winners and Scott Cup champions.
First nation to win NSWC grand slam (Baptism of Fire Cup 3; Cup of Harmony 10; World Cup 22; AOCAF XII and XXIX). NSWC Hall of Fame
Top

User avatar
Abanhfleft
Minister
 
Posts: 2419
Founded: May 26, 2008
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Abanhfleft » Thu Aug 06, 2020 8:13 am

Image
DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF ABANHFLEFT
National arena football team


Arena football is not the most popular sport in the Democratic Republic. Far from it, actually. And yet Abanhfleft decided to make a host bid for the Arena Bowl, and surprisingly it was accepted. Now the country has to assemble a team of arena football players to go up against the multiverse's best.

BASIC INFORMATION
Name of nation:
Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft
Demonym: Fleftic
Official history: This is the second time that Abanhfleft will be participating in an Arena Bowl. They had fun the first time around and will look to go even further this time around.
Team colors: Blue, orange, green
Style modifier: +2

OFFENSE
Quarterback: Anuraag Patil (#1, Starter)
Quarterback: Magnus van der Tuuk Adriani (#4)
Running back: Madhavacharta Banahatti (#41, Starter)
Running back: Franco Bayot (#42)
Wide receiver: Aryabhata Patil (#81, Starter)
Wide receiver: Ishwar Navathe (#12, Starter)
Wide receiver: Leonel Lymon (#87)
Wide receiver: Marco Crochet (#83)
Offensive lineman: Christopher Dahl (#66, Starter)
Offensive lineman/Center: Dries op Sonnebeld (#50, Starter)
Offensive lineman: Marlijn Groothalle (#69, Starter)
Offensive lineman/Tight end: Kevin Rikhoff (#75, Starter)

DEFENSE
NOTE:
Arena football teams in Abanhfleft operate under a two-platoon system, meaning that players cannot play on both offense and defense unless an injury substitution is required.
Linebacker: Peter Lorentzen (#67, Starter)
Nose guard: Kai Bakke (#71, Starter)
Linebacker: Diederick Kiewiet (#74, Starter)
Defensive back: Sayana Shree (#21, Starter)
Defensive back: Quincy Seagle (#22, Starter)
Defensive back: Sigurd Handal (#49, Starter)
Defensive back: Andre Sahlberg (#35, Starter)
Defensive back: Eloy Mcquade (#27, Starter)

SPECIAL TEAMS
Kicker: Veer Kumar (#7, Starter)

RP PERMISSIONS
Anything except killing is fine by me.
The Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft
Leader: President Rako Novoire

Territories and dependencies:
Trans-Dniesters (Client state)
Oontaz Dert Li Ng
Copper Cuprum
Trendstart
Economic Left/Right: -1.72
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 0.88
Second place winner in the International Baseball Slam VI
Third place winner in the World Lacrosse Championship XIX
Winner of the Baptism of Iron XVI!
Third place winner in the 33rd Di Bradini Cup!

Third place winner of the International Baseball Slam VIII
Winner of World Lacrosse Championships 22!

I also write stories. Would you like to read my works?

User avatar
Abanhfleft
Minister
 
Posts: 2419
Founded: May 26, 2008
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Abanhfleft » Fri Aug 07, 2020 1:40 am

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independents sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.


Gaelic Gamers
Presents...


Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane


ARENA BOWL VII: HOME ADVANTAGE? WHAT HOME ADVANTAGE?


Image
This guy gets it. He understands.


Let's face it, Abanhfleft did an unexpectedly good job when we hosted the previous Arena Bowl two years previous. We came into that tournament with a team hastily assembled from the best teams of Antarctic Indoor Football, which isn't the top level of arena football in our country, mostly because there is no top level of arena football here in Abanhfleft. Everything related to arena football over here is very much regional, which is why the whole Arena Bowl VI was held only in Fleftic Antarctica or thereabouts. The tournament itself was a rip-roaring success in the end, even if our team did get dicked in the quarterfinals by Sarzonia. Good thing they didn't win the whole thing, but I'm still a bit fuming about the fact that they got third place. But what about that Saint Kanye team though? Dominant from start to finish; only Sarzonia was really able to give them a close fight in the semis. Gave me a right semi too, if you know what I mean.

But that's all in the past. This is the present now. Arena Bowl VII, hosted by Golgothastan. Can't say that I've heard of this country before now, but it appears that they've been around for far longer than Abanhfleft has, so I can just attribute that to the multiverse being its usual sneaky self and hiding countries from each other until it wants them to collide. The field's a little smaller than it was the last time; just 16 nations made it through this time as opposed to the 20 that duked it out in the good old Democratic Republic a couple years back. One of the most notable absentees is the defending champion, Saint Kanye. Man, did they stomp their way to the title on our home soil. Some might say that Jazz Higgs, the wee little half-Yeezie, is more of a good luck charm for the Surge than he was for us. But try telling UC Nukes fans that. There's also talk, over in the Sarzonian camp, that they feel short-changed about the Yeezie non-participation this time around, saying that everyone's been denied the chance of seeing a new rivalry form and develop between these two countries.

Anyway, it's now just 16 countries fighting over 1 championship, 4 groups of 4 which means that there's no more of those pesky little bye days and everyone has a chance to decide their fates, unlike the most recent Copa Rushmori which has my dear Pridnestrovian friend Denis Avtushenko still fuming. Best not talk about it with him for the next few weeks! But enough about that; let's take a little look at our group, Group One (One, not A). There's us, Lisander, Silver Beach, and Northwest Kalactin. Strangely enough, there's no Golgothastan in the first group, because apparently they conducted their draw by letting 16 "distinctively marked" ferrets (their words, not mine) race around their headquarters. Hey, whatever floats your boat, man. Still, couldn't they have just put themselves in Group One and then let 15 ferrets do the racing? Then again, that's just like, my opinion, man.

Oh, and apparently this tournament already got started a few days back. I don't know which is to fault here; Abanhfleft's shitty Internet or that lame excuse of a "coverage" over in Golgothastan, but coverage of the Arena Bowl this time around is decidedly more screwed up than before. Probably because it's still pretty much a niche sport here in Abanhfleft, at least anywhere that's not Fleftic Antarctica or Trendstart. But back to the topic. The tournament's already started, and Abanhfleft have done a boo-boo. We've lost to Northwest Kalactin, and lost by 43 points. 43 goddamn points. I just have no idea how this could be. Anuraag Patil and his Vikrant Vimanas are still the dominant force of Antarctic Indoor Football; they've won two more championships out of two since the Arena Bowl arrived at our shores. So how come they got outclassed and outgunned this time around? Is it the horse shit? How is there so much horse shit in Heysatan without me seeing any horses around at all? What's the difference in smell between horse shit and cow shit anyway? Cows are sacred according to those Hindus, which is why there's not a single square inch of Vikrant (or any other city in the colony for that matter) that isn't covered with cow pats. Is there a subtle difference between horse and cow dung that can cause all sorts of imbalances or whatnot? Am I reaching for explanations for a poor performance like my Cousin Graham? Maybe. All I know is this: with only two games left to play, there's no more room for error if we want to nab a title that the defending champions has gleefully left up for grabs. Somebody's gotta win, and I do hope that this time around, even without the home advantage, it's us. Kevin Rikhoff, Kevin Rikhoff, Kevin Rikhoff....
The Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft
Leader: President Rako Novoire

Territories and dependencies:
Trans-Dniesters (Client state)
Oontaz Dert Li Ng
Copper Cuprum
Trendstart
Economic Left/Right: -1.72
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 0.88
Second place winner in the International Baseball Slam VI
Third place winner in the World Lacrosse Championship XIX
Winner of the Baptism of Iron XVI!
Third place winner in the 33rd Di Bradini Cup!

Third place winner of the International Baseball Slam VIII
Winner of World Lacrosse Championships 22!

I also write stories. Would you like to read my works?

User avatar
Northwest Kalactin
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1776
Founded: Aug 17, 2017
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Northwest Kalactin » Fri Aug 07, 2020 3:50 pm

Gold Coast, 5:00 PM
You walk into another sporting commission meeting...
“So uh.. y’all remember that competition we signed up for 3 months ago, the Arena Bowl?”

“What the fuck is the Arena Bowl? Is that some crappy internet trend or something?”

“No...it is the Arena Football World Championship.”

“Oh that thing. Where is it being hosted in?”

“Golgothastan...”

“The nation that is on fire on a daily basis?”

“Yes, anyways we are actually doing really good in it.”

“How did we do?”

“We won against one of the best teams in the world... by 43 points.”

“43 Points!!! Did we have to pay the referees?”

“No, we are actually pretty good at it!”

“Do you think we can go very far in it?”

“Well, I think we can actually be pretty good at it, if we put some decent money into developing the players.”

“Orrr, we could just pay all the referees to fix the games in our favour, and we don’t even have to go through the hassle of having to develop the players!”

“That’s illegal, you dumbass.”

“Who gives a crap? I hadn’t even heard of this sport until I saw a twii.tur meme about it a few months back.”

“No, all we need to do is develop the players well, and we will have one of the top teams in the world!”

“Will it cost any money to develop the players?”

“Yes, quite a bit, we will need to set up training facilities and help get kids to play the sport.”

“Like, how much is a bit”

“We could probably drop a couple million on it.”

“Your paying for it.”

“Guys, this is serious, if we can drop a bit of money each year into the sport, we will have one of the best teams in the world.”

“Meh, I don’t see it, minority sport anyways.”

Coming next: Random Sporting Commission Dude Tries To Them To Fund More Random Shit
Current Champions of the AO Lacrosse Invitational
World Twenty20 Championship X Champion
RP population: 23 million
Call me NK
AO4LIFE
I don’t use NS stats
Sporting News Kalactin Website

User avatar
Delaclava
Senator
 
Posts: 4404
Founded: Jul 30, 2008
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Delaclava » Sat Aug 08, 2020 12:19 am

DSGN.com

New national fight promotion is founded, announces plans for first champions

A new mixed martial arts promotion, named Action Combat League (ACL), announced its inception today, with the intent of fulfilling demand for an all-encompassing national MMA organization.

The ACL, led by president Brian Burchess and run by commissioner Charlie Downey, will place an emphasis on champions and top contenders of various regional promotions, while becoming the first promotion to explicitly market itself as a true elite fight promotion. "This is an incredibly exciting time for our sport," Burchess said in a televised press conference. "There has long been a history and culture of our sport through many pockets of the country, and we are privileged to partner with DSGN to televise events and bring mixed martial arts to a wider audience."

Mixed martial arts, as well as various combat sports, have long been fringe sports, well outside the mainstream, but a solid foundation remained in sports like boxing, wrestling, and judo thanks to strong performances by various Delaclav athletes at the Olympic Games. In isolation-era Delaclava, the sport became increasingly more popular due to its simplicity of rules and logistics, a greater emphasis on the individual, and a culture that was overall better-suited to communal development and regionalism. Various sporting regulations were also relaxed during that era, allowing combat events to be legitimately organised and commissioned.

The organisation will crown champions in six weight classes in its first year: men's champions at middleweight (185 pounds), welterweight (170), lightweight (155), and featherweight (140), and women's champions at bantamweight (130) and flyweight (115). Each weight class will feature between 32 and 64 fighters in a single-elimination bracket, where fighters will need fight roughly every two months at various events. The season finale will feature the six championship bouts, as well as a handful of other bouts between outstanding fighters of the season. At the end of the season, contender rankings will be created for the purposes of matchmaking for future events.

Further announcements about competition format, promotion and sport rules, and featured athletes will be made in the coming days.
2x WORLD BOWL CHAMPIONS (13 & 15)
Champions of World Team Tennis Championship 2 and 3, Quidditch World Cup 2, Baptism of Iron 2
2nd: World Bowl 11, World Lacrosse Championships 16, AO Hockey Championship 7, AO Basketball Championship 5
3rd: World Cup of Hockey 16, Di Bradini Cup 15

HOSTS OF WORLD CUP 55, CUP OF HARMONY 44 AND 46, BAPTISM OF FIRE 72; World Bowl 11, 15, and 39; IBC 7; AOCAF 31; etc.

User avatar
Golgothastan
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1186
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Golgothastan » Sat Aug 08, 2020 2:08 am

RP cutoff for MD2.

“What’s On?” TV guide to this week’s hottest shows

CrossBark (current affairs): Who is responsible for the latest recession/corruption scandal/industrial disaster/national tragedy? Four people shout at each other.

Downton Crackden (drama): Moving period piece exploring the rich tapestries of Golgothastani history through the eyes of one family of smackheads.

The Young and the Incredibly, Violently Restless (soap opera): This week, Úlftýr deals with the shock revelation of Þjóðhildur’s alien impregnation in this gritty, realistic kitchen-sinker.

The Kaía Rósinkransdóttir Show (N/A): Previously billed as ‘comedy’ but no longer after being sued for being painfully unfunny under the Trade Descriptions Act.

I’m A Golgothastani, Get Me Out Of Here! (reality TV): No, really get me out of here. Please. This country is terrible.

Arena Bowl VII highlights (sports): Highlights from this week’s action and preview of the big game in Álafoss.




Heysátan Group
Northwest Kalactin 77–21 Silver Beach
Abanhfleft 42–23 Lisander

Heysátan Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Northwest Kalactin 2 2 0 135 36 +99 2
2 Lisander 2 1 1 88 62 +26 1
3 Abanhfleft 2 1 1 57 81 −24 1
4 Silver Beach 2 0 2 41 142 −101 0

Mílanó Group
HUElavia 16–87 Kohnhead
The Jovannic 0–62 Golgothastan

Mílanó Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Kohnhead 2 2 0 136 53 +83 2
2 Golgothastan 2 1 1 99 49 +50 1
3 The Jovannic 2 1 1 50 95 −45 1
4 HUElavia 2 0 2 49 137 −88 0

Álafoss Group
Delaclava 37–26 Sarzonia
Megistos 31–46 Jeckland

Álafoss Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Delaclava 2 2 0 99 58 +41 2
2 Sarzonia 2 1 1 110 62 +48 1
3 Jeckland 2 1 1 71 115 −44 1
4 Megistos 2 0 2 63 108 −45 0

Fljótavík Group
Terre Septentrionale 66–48 Devonta
Kriegiersien 59–40 Sixty-ninE X

Fljótavík Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Terre Septentrionale 2 2 0 119 100 +19 2
2 Kriegiersien 2 1 1 111 93 +18 1
3 Sixty-ninE X 2 1 1 94 110 −16 1
4 Devonta 2 0 2 99 120 −21 0
Last edited by Golgothastan on Sat Aug 08, 2020 2:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Kriegiersien
Diplomat
 
Posts: 786
Founded: Jul 07, 2010
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Kriegiersien » Sat Aug 08, 2020 2:10 pm

Image

Devonta again obstacle for Kriegiersien!?

After losing in the IAX against Devonta in Football, now the Kriegiersien American Football team faces the same nation to figure out who reaches the next round in the Arena Bowl.

While for many players, who will play together at the Olympics, a loss would mean more free time before the start into the Olympic American Football tournament, for some players and most of the staff this would mean probably the end of the international career.

"If we win, the team will get a day off from training. If we lose, terrible days will await anyone left", men's Coach Tushar Jean-Claude said, while his female counterpart, Levan Hershel added: "We can't afford a loss here. Not in a sport that is fighting for survival in this nation. Arena Football or every other version."

Flags of Devonta, who were burned after the loss in Soccer, are now getting sold in Kriegiersien like hot cakes.
Image
Last edited by Kriegiersien on Sat Aug 08, 2020 4:01 pm, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
Abanhfleft
Minister
 
Posts: 2419
Founded: May 26, 2008
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Abanhfleft » Sun Aug 09, 2020 6:28 am

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.


Gaelic Gamers
Presents...


Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane


ARENA BOWL VII: CRUNCH TIME AS ALWAYS


Image
My brother from another mother sweating almost as many buckets as I am right now.

As the great gay Irishman wordsmith Graham O'Doherty once said, we've seen this story before. Practically can recite it from memory at this point. Abanhfleft fucked up the start of the group stage. They make up for it in the middle, but then the last matchday rolls around and it turns out that the team needs to win their last game if they want to make it through to the playoffs. Not draw, not lose, win. Add in a good dose of goal difference swing needed as well. The team have been informed of the stakes and are now properly trained and equipped to claim victory in the name of the Democratic Republic. And they go ahead and lose anyway. Tale as old as time and all that fairy tale stuff.

Today, in the seventh edition of the Arena Bowl, we find ourselves once again in quite a similar situation. After shooting ourselves in the foot by losing against Northwest Kalactin, Abanhfleft's hopes and dreams of winning the Arena Bowl in only their second tournament are once again hanging by a thread. Our Armored Arena Revolutionaries have managed to turn that thread into something a little bit thicker than just a single thread with a win over Lisander, but question marks still linger over this entire campaign. A few teams have managed to show some consistency in this little shindig but they're not exactly the teams you'd expect to be consistent. Sarzonia are definitely not the kind of team to go 1-1. Kohnhead isn't exactly the type to be 2-0 at this point either. Terre Septentrionale... nah, I'm biased against those guys. Everyone in the family kinda is anyway, so it's kinda pissing me off that they've got a perfect record so far. Of course, everything can change after matchday three, but are we going to like that change or not?

Our last game is going to be against Silver Beach. Very recent history suggests that Abanhfleft will get an easy win over the team currently propping up Group One (One, not A), but as everyone familiar with the story of Abanhfleft will know, easy wins are never easy for Abanhfleft, and sometimes they're not even wins in the end at all. Taking anything for granted has never worked out well for the nation in blue, orange, and green, which is why any win at all becomes a pleasant surprise. Surprises to be sure, but welcome ones indeed. Viva arena football! Dries op Sonnenbeld, Dries op Sonnenbeld, Dries op Sonnenbeld....
The Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft
Leader: President Rako Novoire

Territories and dependencies:
Trans-Dniesters (Client state)
Oontaz Dert Li Ng
Copper Cuprum
Trendstart
Economic Left/Right: -1.72
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 0.88
Second place winner in the International Baseball Slam VI
Third place winner in the World Lacrosse Championship XIX
Winner of the Baptism of Iron XVI!
Third place winner in the 33rd Di Bradini Cup!

Third place winner of the International Baseball Slam VIII
Winner of World Lacrosse Championships 22!

I also write stories. Would you like to read my works?

User avatar
Golgothastan
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1186
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Golgothastan » Mon Aug 10, 2020 2:06 am

Today's cutoff comes with a free turnip.

Heysátan Group
Lisander 28–82 Northwest Kalactin
Silver Beach 19–115 Abanhfleft

Heysátan Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Northwest Kalactin 3 3 0 217 64 +153 3
2 Abanhfleft 3 2 1 172 100 +72 2
3 Lisander 3 1 2 116 144 −28 1
4 Silver Beach 3 0 3 60 257 −197 0

Mílanó Group
Golgothastan 68–26 HUElavia
Kohnhead 59–24 The Jovannic

Mílanó Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Kohnhead 3 3 0 195 77 +118 3
2 Golgothastan 3 2 1 167 75 +92 2
3 The Jovannic 3 1 2 74 154 −80 1
4 HUElavia 3 0 3 75 205 −130 0

Álafoss Group
Jeckland 47–109 Delaclava
Sarzonia 92–20 Megistos

Álafoss Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Delaclava 3 3 0 208 105 +103 3
2 Sarzonia 3 2 1 202 82 +120 2
3 Jeckland 3 1 2 118 224 −106 1
4 Megistos 3 0 3 83 200 −117 0

Fljótavík Group
Sixty-ninE X 45–104 Terre Septentrionale
Devonta 26–82 Kriegiersien

Fljótavík Group Pld W L PF PA PD Pts
1 Terre Septentrionale 3 3 0 223 145 +78 3
2 Kriegiersien 3 2 1 193 119 +74 2
3 Sixty-ninE X 3 1 2 139 214 −75 1
4 Devonta 3 0 3 125 202 −77 0

(I am not sure why xkoranate produced wonky formatting, but as I believe in posting the output verbatim I haven't corrected it.)

Congratulations to all group stage winners and runners-up, each of whom is entitled to a free turnip, and commiserations to those now returning home, who will do so with a complimentary turnip. (We have a lot of turnips to get rid of.)

The seedings present a slight problem because, somewhat unsurprisingly, on raw seeding every single quarterfinal would be a group stage replay. So we are left with

(1) Northwest Kalactin v (7) Kriegiersien @ Mílanó
(4) Delaclava v (6) Golgothastan @ Heysátan

(2) Terre Septentrionale v (8) Abanhfleft @ Álafoss
(3) Kohnhead v (5) Sarzonia @ Fljótavík

The winners of the Mílanó and Heysátan games, and the Álafoss and Fljótavík games, proceeed to the semifinals. (The losers leave with a mystery prize, can you guess what?)

As a reminder, the next scorination will be four days away, because I had scheduled a break day and no play-in round has proved necessary.
Last edited by Golgothastan on Mon Aug 10, 2020 2:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Kriegiersien
Diplomat
 
Posts: 786
Founded: Jul 07, 2010
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Kriegiersien » Mon Aug 10, 2020 7:10 am

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American Football team misses Opening Ceremony of Olympics after beating Devonta 82-26, but stays in the Arena Bowl. Most players happy at the pool.



Referees of the quarerfinal in Mílanó between Kriegiersien and Northwest Kalactin reported that there had been attempts to bribe them by different unknown shady characters.
"One side wanted to give us mock turtle soup worth millions of dollars if we let Kalactin win, others Turnips worth thousand of shiny things if Kriegiersien wins. Of course we declined because it wasn't tasty."

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Sarzonia
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6289
Founded: Mar 22, 2004
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Sarzonia » Thu Aug 13, 2020 12:40 pm

The Sarzonian national indoor gridball team may have made an expected trip to the knockout rounds of the seventh NS Arena Bowl, but the mood in the team dressing room was best described as irritation. The Stars will not be in as favourites after losing their second group stage match 37-26 against Delaclava. Even their 92-20 shellacking of Megistos did little to alleviate the team's mood.

Coach Chad Embry readily admitted that Delaclava were as good as advertised. The rivalry aspect of yet another Stars vs. Phoenixes matchup was something that several Stars tried to play off publicly, but privately, every Stars player was motivated for their battle against their Cyanea neighbours.

Problem was, the Phoenixes were equally motivated to send a message to the Sarzonians. Embry confided to defensive coordinator Skip Donahue that he sensed the Delaclavs felt the Stars were too big for their knickers.

"They're right," Embry said, starting at the wall in his hotel room the night before that important match. It would be the biggest group stage match this team had ever played, and both Embry and Donahue had trouble getting any sleep.

That feeling of dread turned out to be right as Delaclava dealt Sarzonia its first group stage defeat since they returned to the code of the sport they helped bring to the multiverse. The loss angered the Stars, but it wasn't because they were outclassed by a better team or that they walked into the arena expecting to waltz all over Delaclava.

"That's a damn good team over there," Embry said. "They held us deep in our own end on three straight possessions in the third quarter," all of them led to three 50-yard-plus field goal misses by kicker Joe Avant. "We get one first down on any of those possessions and we potentially turn the game around."

As for the match against Megistos, Sarzonia walked in with a chip on their shoulders and a mission to prove they belonged in the knockout rounds. They won easily, setting up a matchup against third seeded Kohnhead as Arena Bowl organizers sought to avoid a rematch between the Stars and the Phoenixes, at least in the first round.

"It's a match you want to see in the final, or at least in the semifinals," said one fan who sported a bandage over his right eye after ducking yet another riot. "Kohnhead are good. They beat the hosts in what amounts to a true away match, so we shouldn't take them lightly. I don't know if they're as strong a team as Delaclava, though."

Delaclava will take on host nation and sixth seeded Golgothastan in the other match directly affected by tournament organisers' efforts to avoid a Stars-Phoenixes first round match.
Last edited by Sarzonia on Thu Aug 13, 2020 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
World Lacrosse Council President. Member of the FWC and WBC Councils and the WCoH Federation.
World Cup 22; World Baseball Classic 18; Di Bradini Cup 8 (U21 World Cup 29); World Bowl XI & XIV; FHWC 15 & 18; Quidditch World Cup 9; NS World Cup of Masters; World Indoor Soccer Championship I; Aussie Rules Football World Cup I; World Softball Classic I; AOCAF XII & XXIX; 3-time Draggonnii Inviyatii champions; 4-time IBC champions; 5-time WLC winners and Scott Cup champions.
First nation to win NSWC grand slam (Baptism of Fire Cup 3; Cup of Harmony 10; World Cup 22; AOCAF XII and XXIX). NSWC Hall of Fame
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Kohnhead
Envoy
 
Posts: 266
Founded: May 29, 2018
Father Knows Best State

Postby Kohnhead » Thu Aug 13, 2020 1:52 pm

Kohnhead surprisingly goes 3-0 in Arena Bowl

In an unexpected turn of events, Kohnhead has gone 3-0 in Arena Bowl play. A tournament that wasn't even supposed to be televised will know have our quarterfinal match on multiple stations, and the other three quarterfinals games can each be found if you subscribe to KSPN.

Golgothastan 37–49 Kohnhead
In our first match of the tournament we took on the hosts in Golgothastan who were thought to have a good chance at winning the thing in front of their home fans. Considering the lack of popularity Arena Football has in Kohnhead the stands were made of entirely Golgothastan fans (not to say there were too many of them). The big thing in this match was our defense being able to limit the scrambling ability of Bastían Bjarkansson the opposing quarterback. Our strategy was simple they have no subs so hit them extremely illegally and as hard as possible. Despite Bjarkansson wandering over to the wrong sideline at a point he stayed in the game because he had to. We ended up winning by 12 as Ollie Beattie who hadn't played well offensively but who was awesome defensively picked off a pass to seal it. This was definitely an upset victory for us.

HUElavia 16–87 Kohnhead
Our defense held HUElavia to 16 points and the offense exploded for 87 points in a statement win. They were in fact off the scoreboard entirely until the end of the game as our backups (well as many as we could put out there) were playing by the second half. Beattie definitely rebounded offensively in this one and his defense was stellar picking off another pass. We suffered our first injury in this one as Norman Villarreal the kicker and a backup O-lineman went down in an uncomfortable position. Despite being out cold for a couple of hours he fortunately is okay now. We have an emergency kicker in Ollie Beattie the quarterback.

Kohnhead 59–24 The Jovannic
Despite the injury to Villarreal we managed to beat The Jovannic pretty easily to advance to a surprising 3-0. The defense played very well again and while the offense didn't put up almost 90 points they still played quite well. This meant that so far we have scored 195 points while only allowing 77 good for a point differential of +118. We finished the group stage as the three seed because three teams all went undefeated shockingly.

Kohnhead Vs. Sarzonia
We have been drawn against Saarzonia in the quarterfinals. Our Gridiron team has experience against them going 1-1 against the Stars during the most recent World Bowl but in the past they have had very good Gridiron teams. They are a known powerhouse in Arena Football so it is unlucky to draw them in the quarters. We have proven ourselves to be a worthy competitor but can we take the next step and defeat Sarzonia, I'm a little doubtful.
Kohnhead

Sporting Achievements
Soccer:
2nd Wonder Cup Champions
48th Di Bradini Cup/69th U21WC 4th place

Tennis:
Outdoor Hard Court Season 6 Steinigestrasse Open Runner Up (Singles)
Clay Court Season 6 Istria Open Semifinals (Singles)
Clay Court Season 6 Mattijana Open Semifinals (Singles)
Clay Court Season 6 Hamilton International Semifinals (Singles)

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Abanhfleft
Minister
 
Posts: 2419
Founded: May 26, 2008
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Abanhfleft » Fri Aug 14, 2020 12:57 am

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.


Gaelic Gamers
Presents...


Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane


ARENA BOWL VII: THERE'S ONLY TWO WAYS THIS CAN GO NOW


Image
A pink starfish does an eerily accurate representation of the author's reaction
when Abanhfleft dismantled Silver Beach on the magnitude of almost one hundred points, 2029 (colorized)


Remember that lesson in English class where the teacher talked about this poem about some guy who found himself on a fork in the road with two paths leading away? Remember those long hours spent talking about what the author meant when he said taking the road less traveled made all the difference? Yeah, me neither. Don't even know why I decided to start off with this. Just something that struck my mind once and now I can't get it out, at least until I finally wrote it down just this now.

But enough about English poetry lessons for the moment. Abanhfleft, for once, finally managed to turn around their situation and qualify for the playoffs of a tournament despite starting off on the wrong foot. Yes, Abanhfleft managed to turn around a poor situation and turn it into a potential shot at the Arena Bowl trophy. Yes, it's a complete surprise, isn't it? Doesn't it feel weird to see this nation of disappointments finally get their act together and win two games in a row for once? Heh, Cousin Graham wishes he could know the feeling. He's been surrounded by nothing but disappointment ever since we got screwed over again in the Di Bradini Cup, at least according to what he says. Also, the Independents Cup have been another damp squib according to Graham, but if you really want to know more about Abanhfleft's football disappointments, head on over to The Football Fallacies and see what's what. We're gabbing about gridiron here, after all.

So there it is. We're through to the playoffs. Or more accurately, the quarterfinals, because remember, the Arena Bowl's already got a small enough field as it is. We'll be going up against Terre Septentrionale, a nation that we've met a fair few times in other sports before, with mixed results. They look the slight favourites of this matchup given that they swept their group (Group Four, not Group D) and we had to regroup following a loss on opening day. On the other hand, this could play completely into our hands. Terre Sep have the confidence, but that could so easily grow into overconfidence, and they might just underestimate us. That being said, we can't underestimate the Northerners. There's a reason why they were undefeated and we're 2-1 so far. All things considered, our fate in the Arena Bowl is completely in our hands. There's only two places we can go to from this point: onwards into the semifinals, or back home. And I don't care if the road home is the road less traveled; I don't want to go down there. No matter what my English teacher might tell me. Aryabhata Patil, Aryabhata Patil, Aryabhata Patil....
The Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft
Leader: President Rako Novoire

Territories and dependencies:
Trans-Dniesters (Client state)
Oontaz Dert Li Ng
Copper Cuprum
Trendstart
Economic Left/Right: -1.72
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 0.88
Second place winner in the International Baseball Slam VI
Third place winner in the World Lacrosse Championship XIX
Winner of the Baptism of Iron XVI!
Third place winner in the 33rd Di Bradini Cup!

Third place winner of the International Baseball Slam VIII
Winner of World Lacrosse Championships 22!

I also write stories. Would you like to read my works?

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Golgothastan
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1186
Founded: Mar 26, 2005
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Golgothastan » Fri Aug 14, 2020 2:06 am

QF cut-off.

Administrative notices:

  • In the event Golgothastan wins their QF, they will seek a neutral third-party to scorinate their SF/final.
  • In the event Golgothastan loses their QF, there will be widespread rioting.
  • In fairness, this will also apply in the case of a win.
  • The location of the semi-finals/finals will be based on previous matches, to try to give every team a chance of playing in all four locations.
  • This is partly to give everyone a full taste of Golgothastani culture, and partly to reduce the risk of falling into the hands of organ traffickers if any team lingers too long in one location.
  • The Team of the Tournament will be decided by an online poll of Golgothastani voters. Given the notoriously unreliable GolgoTel connections, this is very much a Bad Idea.
  • All teams leaving Golgothastan after the quarter-final stage will be required to go through baggage inspection, to make sure President Bort Chocowitz isn't trying to flee the country hidden in a kit bag.




Heysátan
Delaclava 44–54 Golgothastan

Mílanó
Northwest Kalactin 26–78 Kriegiersien

Álafoss
Terre Septentrionale 16–76 Abanhfleft

Fljótavík
Sarzonia 69–44 Kohnhead


Semi-finals

Kriegiersien v Golgothastan @ Heysátan

Abanhfleft v Sarzonia @ Mílanó

I correctly scorinated and posted the results, but for some reason wrote down Delaclava progressing rather than Golgothastan. This has been corrected.
Last edited by Golgothastan on Fri Aug 14, 2020 3:44 am, edited 3 times in total.

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