NATION

PASSWORD

[SUBMITTED] Fares Fair?

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
User avatar
Paffnia
Envoy
 
Posts: 201
Founded: Nov 03, 2010
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

[SUBMITTED] Fares Fair?

Postby Paffnia » Sun Jul 26, 2020 5:03 pm

Fares Fair?
Validity: have public transit

The Issue
A recent audit of transit systems across @@NAME@@ revealed more cobwebs than coins in ticket vending machines, even though trains and buses are as crowded as ever. Worried about falling ticket revenues and rising numbers of fare evaders, your Minister of Transportation has suggested that you rethink transit fare policy, starting by going down into the subway and seeing the problem for yourself.

The Debate
1. "The trains are barely running!" laments a subway driver, leaning out the window as the train releases a worrisome hiss. "I got stuck in the tunnel for an hour yesterday because of a faulty electrical line, but my manager says there's not enough money from fares to fix it. To get transit budgets back on track, we need to raise ticket prices, high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation. Sure, some people still won't pay, but with the extra money from riders who do, this ol' train could finally get a tune-up."
Effect: poor transit riders are thrown under the bus.

2. "Forget raising fares: transit should be free!" yells a teenager who was just arrested by a police officer for attempting to jump over a fare gate. "Everyone has right to get where they need to go—rich people, poor people, people like me who, uh...left their transit pass at home. You have some tax money lying around to cover free fares, right?"
Effect: station agents beg for money on subway platforms.

3. "If you can't pay the fare, don't ride the train," declares Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as @@HE@@ handcuffs the teen. "What we really need is more cops on the system to make sure everyone pays—I'm the only officer on the transit beat! And to stop scofflaws like this one, we've also gotta get new security cameras, impregnable fare gates, heftier fines for fare-evading, and—hey, get back here!"
Effect: commuters pass through barbed-wire gates to get on the subway.

4. "It's not about quantity of tickets but quality," sneers Mr. Ron Opoly, a tycoon who owns all four railroads in a nearby coastal resort city. "It is only proper that the upper crust should travel in manner befitting our wealth and status. My peers and I could be convinced to leave our limos if you added luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to ferries. Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience, and our premium tickets will boost transit budgets, to boot. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.

Fares Fair?
Validity: have public transit

The Issue
A recent audit of transit systems across @@NAME@@ revealed more cobwebs than coins in ticket vending machines, even though trains and buses are as crowded as ever. Worried about falling ticket revenues and rising numbers of fare evaders, your Minister of Transit suggests you rethink transit fare policy, starting by going down into the subway and seeing the problem for yourself.

The Debate
1. "The trains are barely running!" laments a subway driver, leaning out the window as the train releases a worrisome hiss. "I got stuck in the tunnel for an hour yesterday because of a faulty electrical line, but my manager says there's not enough money from fares to fix it. To get transit budgets back on track, we need to raise ticket prices, high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation. Sure, some people still won't pay, but with the extra money from riders who do, I can finally give this ol' train a tune-up."
Effect: poor transit riders are thrown under the bus.

2. "Forget raising fares: transit should be free!" yells a teenager who was just arrested by a police officer for jumping over a fare gate. "Everyone has right to get where they need to go—rich people, poor people, people like me who, uh...left their transit pass at home. You have some tax money lying around to cover free fares, right?"
Effect: station agents beg for money on subway platforms.

3. "If you can't pay the fare, don't ride the train," declares Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as @@HE@@ handcuffs the teen. "What we really need is more cops on the system to make sure everyone pays—I'm the only officer on the transit beat! And to stop scofflaws like this one, we've also gotta get security cameras, impregnable fare gates, heftier fines for fare-evading, and—hey, get back here!"
Effect: commuters pass through barbed-wire gates to get on the subway.

4. "It's not about quantity of tickets but quality," sneers Mr. Ron Opoly, a tycoon who owns all four railroads in a nearby coastal resort city. "It is only proper that the upper crust should travel in manner befitting our wealth and status. We must add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to ferries! Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience, and our premium tickets will boost transit budgets, to boot. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.

5. Pushing through the growing crowd of delayed commuters, tech entrepreneur Allen Musket waves a set of blueprints at you. "The best way to set transit fares is through competition on the private market! My new vacuum tube Hyperpool will out-compete these antiquated trains! It's passed all its safety tests...almost. Once I get the permits to demolish a few buildings and build my system, people will pay for whichever mode they like best."
Effect: vacuum tube transit sucks up money.
Validity: allow private industry

Fares Fair?
Validity: have public transit

The Issue
A news crew recently set up a hidden camera at the entrance to a busy @@CAPITAL@@ subway station and uncovered scores of people ducking under, pushing through, and in one case pole-vaulting over the fare gates without paying. Your Minister of Transit—already upset over dwindling budgets and deteriorating service—angrily shows you the footage and suggests you to go down into the subway to see for yourself.

The Debate
1. "The trains are barely running!" laments a subway driver, leaning out the window as the train releases a worrisome hiss. "I got stuck in the tunnel for an hour yesterday because of a faulty electrical line, but my manager says there's not enough money from fares to fix it. To get transit budgets back on track, we need to raise ticket prices, high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation. Sure, some people still won't pay, but with the extra money from riders who do, I can finally give this ol' train a tune-up."
Effect: poor transit riders are thrown under the bus.

2. "Forget raising fares: transit should be free!" yells a fare-dodging teenager who was just pulled off the train by a police officer. "Everyone has right to get where they need to go—rich people, poor people, people like me who, uh...left their transit pass at home. You have some tax money lying around to cover free fares, right?"
Effect: station agents beg for money on subway platforms.

3. "If you can't pay the fare, don't ride the train," declares Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as @@HE@@ handcuffs the teen. "What we really need is more cops on the system—I'm the only officer on the transit beat! And to stop scofflaws like this one, we've also gotta get security cameras, impregnable fare gates, heftier fines for fare-evading, and—hey, get back here!"
Effect: commuters pass through barbed-wire gates to get on the subway.

4. "It's not about quantity of tickets but quality," sneers Mr. Ron Opoly, a tycoon who owns all four railroads in a nearby coastal resort city. "It is only proper that the upper crust should travel in manner befitting our wealth and status. We must add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to ferries! Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.

5. Pushing through the growing crowd of delayed commuters, tech entrepreneur Allen Musket waves a set of blueprints at you. "The best way to set transit fares is through competition on the private market! My new vacuum tube Hyperpool will out-compete these antiquated trains! It's passed all its safety tests...almost. Once I get the permits to demolish a few buildings and build my system, people will pay for whichever mode they like best."
Effect: vacuum tube transit sucks up money.
Validity: allow private industry

Fares Fair?
Validity: have public transit

The Issue
Across @@NAME@@, public transit systems are falling into disrepair. Lacking the budget to do crucial maintenance, many transit workers are quick to blame the rising numbers of fare evaders. To see the problem for yourself, you go down into the subway station outside the capitol.

The Debate
1. "The trains are barely running!" laments a subway driver, leaning out the window as the train releases a worrisome hiss. "Repairing trains ain't cheap, and we need funds from fares to keep transit budgets on track. In fact, fares need to be high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation."
Effect: poor transit riders are thrown under the bus.

2. "Transit should be free!" yells a fare-dodging teenager who was just pulled off the train by a police officer. "Everyone has right to get where they need to go—rich people, poor people, people like me who,...uh...left their transit pass at home. You have some tax money lying around to cover free fares, right?"
Effect: station agents beg for money on subway platforms.

3. "If you can't pay the fare, don't ride the train," declares Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as @@HE@@ handcuffs the teen. "What we really need is more cops on the system—I'm the only officer on the transit beat! And to stop scofflaws like this one, we've also gotta get security cameras, taller, stronger fare gates, heftier fines for fare-evading, and—hey, get back here!"
Effect: commuters pass through barbed-wire gates to get on the subway.

4. "I've got an idea that will make everyone happy!" exclaims a man in a monocle, as the other delayed commuters on the platform look increasingly unhappy. "You should add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to public ferries. Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.

5. Pushing through the crowd, tech entrepreneur Allen Musket waves a set of blueprints at you. "The best way to set transit fares is through competition on the private market! My new vacuum tube Hyperpool will out-compete these antiquated trains! It's passed all its safety tests...almost. Once I get the permits to demolish a few buildings and build my system, people will pay for whichever mode they like best."
Effect: vacuum tube pods carry passengers twice as fast as subways for ten times the price.
Validity: allow private industry

Fares Fair?
Validity: have public transit

The Issue
Across @@NAME@@, public transit systems are falling into disrepair. Managers of transit agencies are quick to point the finger at rising numbers of fare evaders. To see the problem for yourself, you go down into the subway station outside the capitol.

The Debate
1. "Transit should be free!" yells a teenager who was just pulled off a train by a squad of police for not paying @@HIS_1@@ fare. Struggling under an officer's grip, @@HE_1@@ protests, "Everyone has right to get where they need to go—rich people, poor people, people like me who,...uh...left their transit pass at home. You can find the money to get rid of fares if you—agh, let go of me!"
Effect: station agents beg for money on subway platforms.

2. "The trains are barely running as it is!" object's the subway's driver, leaning out the window as the train lets off a worrisome hiss. "Repairing trains ain't cheap, and we need funds from fares to keep transit budgets on track. In fact, fares need to be high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation."
Effect: poor transit riders are thrown under the bus.

3. "You won't need to raise fares if you let us make sure that every rider pays," declares Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as @@HE_2@@ handcuffs the teen. "What we really need are hefty citations for scofflaws like this one, security cameras to catch them in the act, and taller, stronger fare gates to stop them in the first place. And more transit cops, of course. Like I always say, if you can't pay the fare, don't ride the train."
Effect: commuters pass through barbed-wire gates to get on the subway.

4. "I've got an idea that will make everyone happy!" exclaims a man in a monocle, as the other delayed commuters on the platform look increasingly unhappy. "You should add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to public ferries. Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.

5. Pushing through the crowd, tech entrepreneur Allen Musket waves a set of blueprints at you. "The best way to set transit fares is through competition on the private market! My new vacuum tube Hyperpool will out-compete these antiquated trains! It's passed all its safety tests...almost. Once I get the permits to demolish a few buildings and build my system, people will pay for whichever mode they like best."
Effect: vacuum tube pods carry passengers twice as fast as subways for ten times the price.
Validity: allow private industry

Are Fares Fair?
Validity: have public transit

The Issue
At the entrance to the subway station outside the capitol, you notice a crowd of impatient commuters gathering. Beyond, a squad of police are trying to arrest a teenager they pulled off the train. @@HIS_1@@ crime? Not paying the subway fare.

The Debate
1. "Cut me a break!" yells the teen as @@HE_1@@ struggles under an officer's grip. "I...uh...left my pass at home. Why should I need to pay for transit anyways? Make transit free for everyone! You have some tax money to cover that, right? That way, we can all get where we need without—agh, let go of me!”
Effect: station agents beg for money on subway platforms.

2. "The trains are barely running as it is!" says the subway's driver, leaning out the window as the train lets off a worrisome hiss. "Repairing trains ain't cheap, and we need money from fares to keep our budget on track. In fact, fares need to be high enough to cover the full cost of keeping the system in operation."
Effect: poor transit riders are thrown under the bus.

3. "If you can't pay the fare, don't ride the train," says Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as @@HE_2@@ handcuffs the teen. "What we really need is taller, stronger fare gates and security cameras to catch fare-beaters like this one in the act. And more transit cops, of course."
Effect: commuters pass through barbed-wire gates to get on the subway.

4. "I've got an idea that will make everyone happy!" says a man in a monocle, as the other delayed commuters on the platform look increasingly unhappy. "We should add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to public ferries. Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into in steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.

5. Pushing through the crowd, tech entrepreneur Allen Musket waves a set of blueprints at you. "The best way to set transit fares is through competition on the private market! My new vacuum tube Hyperpool will out-compete these antiquated trains! It's passed all its safety tests...almost. Once I get the permits to demolish a few buildings and build my system, people will pay for whichever mode they like best."
Effect: vacuum tube pods carry passengers twice as fast as subways for ten times the price
Validity: allow private industry
Last edited by Paffnia on Sat Aug 15, 2020 5:37 pm, edited 18 times in total.
Former Delegate of 10000 Islands
Knight of TITO
Denes nad Makedonija


WA Ambassador: Joakim Metyhap
Paffniac Factbook
Author, SC #93: Commend The Featured Region Followers
Commended by SC #276

User avatar
SherpDaWerp
Diplomat
 
Posts: 850
Founded: Mar 02, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Sun Jul 26, 2020 6:10 pm

This issue has the right syntactical structure and grammar, it flows well, there's another Elon Musk reference, it's just that this isn't really @@LEADER@@'s problem.

Someone not paying their fare is a problem for the public transport system and/or law enforcement. Even if you happen across it, it's still not the sort of issue that @@LEADER@@ is burdened with - issues take a very top-down approach to policymaking, letting @@LEADER@@ make the big policy decisions, and letting unmentioned bureaucrats take care of enforcement and logistics.

An issue about fare evasion is probably worthy, it's just that it needs to be more high-level. Maybe heaps of people always just skip the fare, and it's preventing the public transport system from receiving crucial money it needs to function. If you can, I would also try and keep the single-inciting-event aspect - different locations and inciting events are more interesting than the classic "people complain in your office" - but you definitely need to make this more of a policy/society problem than a single someone-is-in-trouble problem.

Also, the title could be just a smidge better - you could drop the "Are" and just have "Fares Fair?", like in the saying "fair's fair".
Last edited by SherpDaWerp on Sun Jul 26, 2020 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Paffnia
Envoy
 
Posts: 201
Founded: Nov 03, 2010
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Paffnia » Sun Jul 26, 2020 8:57 pm

Thanks for the comments! Really helpful. I've redrafted:

Fares Fair?
Validity: have public transit

The Issue
Across @@NAME@@, public transit systems are falling into disrepair. Managers of transit agencies are quick to point the finger at rising numbers of fare evaders. To see the problem for yourself, you go down into the subway station outside the capitol.

The Debate
1. "Transit should be free!" yells a teenager who was just pulled off a train by a squad of police for not paying @@HIS_1@@ fare. Struggling under an officer's grip, @@HE_1@@ protests, "Everyone has right to get where they need to go—rich, poor, people like me who,...uh...left their transit pass at home. You can find the money to get rid of fares if you—agh, let go of me!"
Effect: station agents beg for money on subway platforms.

2. "The trains are barely running as it is!" object's the subway's driver, leaning out the window as the train lets off a worrisome hiss. "Repairing trains ain't cheap, and we need funds from fares to keep transit budgets on track. In fact, fares need to be high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation."
Effect: poor transit riders are thrown under the bus.

3. "You won't need to raise fares if you let us make sure that every rider pays," declares Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as @@HE_2@@ handcuffs the teen. "What we really need are hefty citations for scofflaws like this one, security cameras to catch them in the act, and taller, stronger fare gates to stop them in the first place. And more transit cops, of course. Like I always say, if you can't pay the fare, don't ride the train."
Effect: commuters pass through barbed-wire gates to get on the subway.

4. "I've got an idea that will make everyone happy!" exclaims a man in a monocle, as the other delayed commuters on the platform look increasingly unhappy. "You should add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to public ferries. Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.

5. Pushing through the crowd, tech entrepreneur Allen Musket waves a set of blueprints at you. "The best way to set transit fares is through competition on the private market! My new vacuum tube Hyperpool will out-compete these antiquated trains! It's passed all its safety tests...almost. Once I get the permits to demolish a few buildings and build my system, people will pay for whichever mode they like best."
Effect: vacuum tube pods carry passengers twice as fast as subways for ten times the price.
Validity: allow private industry

SherpDaWerp wrote:An issue about fare evasion is probably worthy, it's just that it needs to be more high-level. Maybe heaps of people always just skip the fare, and it's preventing the public transport system from receiving crucial money it needs to function. If you can, I would also try and keep the single-inciting-event aspect - different locations and inciting events are more interesting than the classic "people complain in your office" - but you definitely need to make this more of a policy/society problem than a single someone-is-in-trouble problem.

I've tried to make the set-up more national in scope and edited the options to be more general policy prescriptions. Hope the third sentence of the opening doesn't impinge on player autonomy; I still wanted to have the action occur in a subway station.

SherpDaWerp wrote:Also, the title could be just a smidge better - you could drop the "Are" and just have "Fares Fair?", like in the saying "fair's fair".

Changed! Thanks for the idea!
Last edited by Paffnia on Sun Jul 26, 2020 8:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Former Delegate of 10000 Islands
Knight of TITO
Denes nad Makedonija


WA Ambassador: Joakim Metyhap
Paffniac Factbook
Author, SC #93: Commend The Featured Region Followers
Commended by SC #276

User avatar
Westinor
Diplomat
 
Posts: 597
Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Sun Jul 26, 2020 9:03 pm

Hm, if fare evaders are already being cracked down on, I don't see how its become so large of a problem that it requires your attention. Also, though it's likely intentional, the cut off on the last sentence of option 1 doesn't really give the player any reason to actually choose it, which is a problem especially since it seems to be a more central option to the issue. Overall, like the writing though!
Authorship - Things I've written!

Stay safe, wear a mask, and have a great day! :)

User avatar
Paffnia
Envoy
 
Posts: 201
Founded: Nov 03, 2010
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Paffnia » Sun Jul 26, 2020 9:11 pm

Westinor wrote:Hm, if fare evaders are already being cracked down on, I don't see how its become so large of a problem that it requires your attention.

Oh good point. Maybe I should add that the teen was unlucky enough to be nabbed by one of the few transit cops, and have the cop be clearer in a request for more back-up?

Westinor wrote:Also, though it's likely intentional, the cut off on the last sentence of option 1 doesn't really give the player any reason to actually choose it, which is a problem especially since it seems to be a more central option to the issue.

Hmm, yeah I took out a line "You have some tax money to cover that, right?" from the first draft, because it conflicts with the issue effect of having station agents beg for money. Suggestions welcomed on how to reword Option 1 while keeping the issue effect.
Last edited by Paffnia on Sun Jul 26, 2020 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Former Delegate of 10000 Islands
Knight of TITO
Denes nad Makedonija


WA Ambassador: Joakim Metyhap
Paffniac Factbook
Author, SC #93: Commend The Featured Region Followers
Commended by SC #276

User avatar
Westinor
Diplomat
 
Posts: 597
Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Sun Jul 26, 2020 9:26 pm

There's a bit of a hiccup in your description, in that transit systems falling into disrepair does not necessarily mean there isn't enough money to sustain them, or at least it isn't necessarily implied. Connecting the first two sentences with a "with" as such,

"...have been falling into disrepair, with managers of transit agencies being quick to point..."

Might help with the implicit accusation. Also, the way I'd frame the issue is by having the managers speak first, since they are the ones to lay the blame. This isn't a must, but it is more commonly used and easier to pull off. You can have the teenager be caught running off the train in the second option, or have them be caught and made an example of in the first, before being given a chance to speak in the second.
Authorship - Things I've written!

Stay safe, wear a mask, and have a great day! :)

User avatar
Daarwyrth
Diplomat
 
Posts: 545
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:26 am

Managers of transit agencies are quick to point the finger at rising numbers of fare evaders.


Consider adding "the" between "at" and "rising", so in other words "point the finger at the rising number of fare evaders".

yells a teenager who was just pulled off a train by a squad of police for not paying @@HIS_1@@ fare


Consider changing this to "yells a fare dodging teen, as @@HE@@ is being pulled off a train by a police squad"

Struggling under an officer's grip, @@HE_1@@ protests,


This can be cut out, I believe.

Everyone has right to get where they need to go


Consider changing it to "Everyone has the right to go where they need".

as the train lets off a worrisome hiss


Swap "lets off" for "releases"

4. "I've got an idea that will make everyone happy!" exclaims a man in a monocle, as the other delayed commuters on the platform look increasingly unhappy. "You should add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to public ferries. Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.


I feel unsure about this option. It's not badly written or anything, but I am wondering whether it is really necessary to include this. Personally, I feel that you could cut this option out and reduce the number of total options to 4, yet the ultimate choice remains yours :)

Overall, I really like the sound of this issue! It needs a few polishes in some places, but it's making great progress already!
The Royal Commonwealth of Daarwyrth

A unified state of constituent duchies, ruled as a centralised executive monarchy, located on the fictional continent of Geldria.

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarport | Government type: Unitary semi-constitutional monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71


User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20948
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:47 am

Option 2- Why is a train driver saying this? Why would they care?
From Greek Ansestry Orthodox Christian
17 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution List of NPC Nations
This account is fictious. Any In-Character posts made by this account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

User avatar
Daarwyrth
Diplomat
 
Posts: 545
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:54 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Option 2- Why is a train driver saying this? Why would they care?


Because if a train breaks down because it was in poor condition, they're likely to get severely injured or even killed? I imagine the driver cares about their health and well-being ;)
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
The Royal Commonwealth of Daarwyrth

A unified state of constituent duchies, ruled as a centralised executive monarchy, located on the fictional continent of Geldria.

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarport | Government type: Unitary semi-constitutional monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71


User avatar
Paffnia
Envoy
 
Posts: 201
Founded: Nov 03, 2010
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Paffnia » Mon Jul 27, 2020 2:59 pm

New draft:

Fares Fair?
Validity: have public transit

The Issue
Across @@NAME@@, public transit systems are falling into disrepair. Lacking the budget to do crucial maintenance, many transit workers are quick to blame the rising numbers of fare evaders. To see the problem for yourself, you go down into the subway station outside the capitol.

The Debate
1. "The trains are barely running!" laments a subway driver, leaning out the window as the train releases a worrisome hiss. "Repairing trains ain't cheap, and we need funds from fares to keep transit budgets on track. In fact, fares need to be high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation."
Effect: poor transit riders are thrown under the bus.

2. "Transit should be free!" yells a fare-dodging teenager who was just pulled off the train by a police officer. "Everyone has right to get where they need to go—rich people, poor people, people like me who,...uh...left their transit pass at home. You have some tax money lying around to cover free fares, right?"
Effect: station agents beg for money on subway platforms.

3. "If you can't pay the fare, don't ride the train," declares Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as @@HE@@ handcuffs the teen. "What we really need is more cops on the system—I'm the only officer on the transit beat! And to stop scofflaws like this one, we've also gotta get security cameras, taller, stronger fare gates, heftier fines for fare-evading, and—hey, get back here!"
Effect: commuters pass through barbed-wire gates to get on the subway.

4. "I've got an idea that will make everyone happy!" exclaims a man in a monocle, as the other delayed commuters on the platform look increasingly unhappy. "You should add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to public ferries. Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.

5. Pushing through the crowd, tech entrepreneur Allen Musket waves a set of blueprints at you. "The best way to set transit fares is through competition on the private market! My new vacuum tube Hyperpool will out-compete these antiquated trains! It's passed all its safety tests...almost. Once I get the permits to demolish a few buildings and build my system, people will pay for whichever mode they like best."
Effect: vacuum tube pods carry passengers twice as fast as subways for ten times the price.
Validity: allow private industry

Paffnia wrote:
Westinor wrote:Hm, if fare evaders are already being cracked down on, I don't see how its become so large of a problem that it requires your attention.

Oh good point. Maybe I should add that the teen was unlucky enough to be nabbed by one of the few transit cops, and have the cop be clearer in a request for more back-up?

Clarified this in Option 3 and made it a single officer in Option 2.

Paffnia wrote:
Westinor wrote:Also, though it's likely intentional, the cut off on the last sentence of option 1 doesn't really give the player any reason to actually choose it, which is a problem especially since it seems to be a more central option to the issue.

Hmm, yeah I took out a line "You have some tax money to cover that, right?" from the first draft, because it conflicts with the issue effect of having station agents beg for money. Suggestions welcomed on how to reword Option 1 while keeping the issue effect.

I restored the line about taxes to pay for it, though now it may clash with the issue effect.

Westinor wrote:There's a bit of a hiccup in your description, in that transit systems falling into disrepair does not necessarily mean there isn't enough money to sustain them, or at least it isn't necessarily implied. Connecting the first two sentences with a "with" as such,

"...have been falling into disrepair, with managers of transit agencies being quick to point..."

Might help with the implicit accusation.

Made this explicit now.

Westinor wrote:Also, the way I'd frame the issue is by having the managers speak first, since they are the ones to lay the blame. This isn't a must, but it is more commonly used and easier to pull off. You can have the teenager be caught running off the train in the second option, or have them be caught and made an example of in the first, before being given a chance to speak in the second.

Reordered. I changed the intro to more general "transit workers" so the driver could offer the first option. But now is Option 1 too repetitive with the opening?

Daarwyrth wrote:
Managers of transit agencies are quick to point the finger at rising numbers of fare evaders.


Consider adding "the" between "at" and "rising", so in other words "point the finger at the rising number of fare evaders".

Done.

Daarwyrth wrote:
yells a teenager who was just pulled off a train by a squad of police for not paying @@HIS_1@@ fare


Consider changing this to "yells a fare dodging teen, as @@HE@@ is being pulled off a train by a police squad"

Done.

Daarwyrth wrote:
Struggling under an officer's grip, @@HE_1@@ protests,


This can be cut out, I believe.

Cut.

Daarwyrth wrote:
as the train lets off a worrisome hiss


Swap "lets off" for "releases"

Done.

Two questions when I was editing:
- Is "The Free Rider Problem" a better issue title?
- Is the last issue effect, "vacuum tube pods carry passengers twice as fast as subways for ten times the price," too expected/to-the-point? Would something like "vacuum tube transit costs a figurative arm and a literal leg" be too much? Other suggestions welcomed.
Former Delegate of 10000 Islands
Knight of TITO
Denes nad Makedonija


WA Ambassador: Joakim Metyhap
Paffniac Factbook
Author, SC #93: Commend The Featured Region Followers
Commended by SC #276

User avatar
SherpDaWerp
Diplomat
 
Posts: 850
Founded: Mar 02, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Mon Jul 27, 2020 6:21 pm

Paffnia wrote:New draft:

Nice. The new premise is a lot more national in scope. If you're still worried about player autonomy in the last sentence, you can replace "you've decided" with "your aides have scheduled", although personally it's quite minor a problem anyway.

Paffnia wrote:Two questions when I was editing:
- Is "The Free Rider Problem" a better issue title?
- Is the last issue effect, "vacuum tube pods carry passengers twice as fast as subways for ten times the price," too expected/to-the-point? Would something like "vacuum tube transit costs a figurative arm and a literal leg" be too much? Other suggestions welcomed.

Titles tend to be best when they're interesting/referential/funny - if there's a reference or joke in "The Free Rider Problem" I'm not seeing it.

The last effect could be a bit better, yes. Your version is good, but I would suggest "the new hyperloop really sucks".
Last edited by SherpDaWerp on Mon Jul 27, 2020 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Ko-oren
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5169
Founded: Nov 26, 2010
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Ko-oren » Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:42 am

"capitol" in the description should be "capital".
"people like me who,...uh...left their transit pass at home" should be "people like me who, uh... left their transit pass at home"

As noted, the 5th effect line can use some work.
Trigramme: KOR - Demonym: Ko-orenite - Population: 27.270.096
Sports Domestic Sports Newswires - RPable People - Info Factbook Storefronts Loro Language Schools - Goliæth Sports Café - Call for bids!
Champions 1x CoH - 1x AOCAF - 1x WBC - 3x World Bowl - 1x IBC - 1x T20 WC - 3x RUWC - 1x RLWC - 1x HWC - 1x Beach Cup
Runners-up 1x AOCAF - 1x WBC - 2x World Bowl - 4x IBC - 1x AOHC - 1x GCF Test Cricket - 2x RUWC - 1x WLC - 1x FHWC
Hosts 1x World Bowl - 1x WCOH - 1x T20 WC - 1x RUWC - 1x FHWC

User avatar
Drasnia
Minister
 
Posts: 2601
Founded: Feb 02, 2012
Anarchy

Postby Drasnia » Tue Jul 28, 2020 10:37 am

SherpDaWerp wrote:Titles tend to be best when they're interesting/referential/funny - if there's a reference or joke in "The Free Rider Problem" I'm not seeing it.

It's an economics thing. My opinion is that it would be too on the nose and obvious to be funny or clever. I actually like Fares Fair?

Paffnia wrote:Across @@NAME@@, public transit systems are falling into disrepair. Lacking the budget to do crucial maintenance, many transit workers are quick to blame the rising number of fare evaders.

I think this is one of those instances where an inciting incident might be better than an observation. Maybe there was a crash due to poor maintenance, or there was a notable breakdown that caused a massive traffic jam. Use your imagination and I think it would make it go from a good premise to a great premise.

Paffnia wrote:In fact, fares need to be high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation."

So this comes across a little awkward to me. I think he's supposed to be advocating for raising ticket prices but he isn't as written. He's more just state fact/opinion without taking an active position in the matter.

Paffnia wrote:4. "I've got an idea that will make everyone happy!" exclaims a man in a monocle, as the other delayed commuters on the platform look increasingly unhappy. "You should add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to public ferries. Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."

I'm not really digging this option. The way he speaks doesn't make me feel like he's actually some rich ponce - at least in the beginning (the end gets a bit better). He need to be more aloof and flowery.

User avatar
Daarwyrth
Diplomat
 
Posts: 545
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Tue Jul 28, 2020 11:30 am

Lacking the budget to do crucial maintenance,

I feel "to perform crucial maintenance" would sound better.

Ko-oren wrote:"capitol" in the description should be "capital".

Not if the building is referenced, as in the Capitol building. From the context of the sentence, I read it as the building, not the capital city itself.

Effect: vacuum tube pods carry passengers twice as fast as subways for ten times the price.

Maybe you could turn this effect line into something like "poor people are rarely known for their punctuality these days"?
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Tue Jul 28, 2020 11:31 am, edited 2 times in total.
The Royal Commonwealth of Daarwyrth

A unified state of constituent duchies, ruled as a centralised executive monarchy, located on the fictional continent of Geldria.

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarport | Government type: Unitary semi-constitutional monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71


User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20948
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:02 pm

Daarwyrth wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Option 2- Why is a train driver saying this? Why would they care?


Because if a train breaks down because it was in poor condition, they're likely to get severely injured or even killed? I imagine the driver cares about their health and well-being ;)

Yea, but why does the driver care about who pays for the service?
From Greek Ansestry Orthodox Christian
17 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution List of NPC Nations
This account is fictious. Any In-Character posts made by this account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

User avatar
Westinor
Diplomat
 
Posts: 597
Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:06 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:
Daarwyrth wrote:
Because if a train breaks down because it was in poor condition, they're likely to get severely injured or even killed? I imagine the driver cares about their health and well-being ;)

Yea, but why does the driver care about who pays for the service?


Their paycheck comes from the fares paid to ride the transport, no? If no one pays for the service, inevitably it affects how much they are paid. Not to mention just the quality of work.
Authorship - Things I've written!

Stay safe, wear a mask, and have a great day! :)

User avatar
Drasnia
Minister
 
Posts: 2601
Founded: Feb 02, 2012
Anarchy

Postby Drasnia » Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:07 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:
Daarwyrth wrote:
Because if a train breaks down because it was in poor condition, they're likely to get severely injured or even killed? I imagine the driver cares about their health and well-being ;)

Yea, but why does the driver care about who pays for the service?

No Fare = No Train. No Train = No Job. No Job = Much Sad.

EDIT: Ninja'd by West.
Last edited by Drasnia on Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Paffnia
Envoy
 
Posts: 201
Founded: Nov 03, 2010
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Paffnia » Tue Jul 28, 2020 8:52 pm

New draft:

Fares Fair?
Validity: have public transit

The Issue
A news crew recently set up a hidden camera at the entrance to a busy @@CAPITAL@@ subway station and uncovered scores of people ducking under, pushing through, and in one case parkouring over the fare gates without paying. Your Minister of Transit—already upset over dwindling budgets and deteriorating service—angrily shows you the footage and suggests you to go down into the subway to see for yourself.

The Debate
1. "The trains are barely running!" laments a subway driver, leaning out the window as the train releases a worrisome hiss. "I got stuck in the tunnel for an hour yesterday because of a faulty electrical line, but my manager says there's not enough money from fares to fix it. To get transit budgets back on track, we need to raise ticket prices, high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation. Sure, some people still won't pay, but with the extra money from riders who do, I can finally give this ol' train a tune-up."
Effect: poor transit riders are thrown under the bus.

2. "Forget raising fares: transit should be free!" yells a fare-dodging teenager who was just pulled off the train by a police officer. "Everyone has right to get where they need to go—rich people, poor people, people like me who, uh...left their transit pass at home. You have some tax money lying around to cover free fares, right?"
Effect: station agents beg for money on subway platforms.

3. "If you can't pay the fare, don't ride the train," declares Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as @@HE@@ handcuffs the teen. "What we really need is more cops on the system—I'm the only officer on the transit beat! And to stop scofflaws like this one, we've also gotta get security cameras, taller, stronger fare gates, heftier fines for fare-evading, and—hey, get back here!"
Effect: commuters pass through barbed-wire gates to get on the subway.

4. "It's not about quantity of tickets but quality," sneers Mr. Ron Opoly, a tycoon who owns all four railroads in a nearby coastal resort city. "It is only proper that the upper crust should travel in manner befitting our wealth and status. We must add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to ferries! Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."
Effect: there are only enough lifeboats for the first-class passengers on public ferries.

5. Pushing through the growing crowd of delayed commuters, tech entrepreneur Allen Musket waves a set of blueprints at you. "The best way to set transit fares is through competition on the private market! My new vacuum tube Hyperpool will out-compete these antiquated trains! It's passed all its safety tests...almost. Once I get the permits to demolish a few buildings and build my system, people will pay for whichever mode they like best."
Effect: vacuum tube transit sucks up money.
Validity: allow private industry

Drasnia wrote:
Paffnia wrote:Across @@NAME@@, public transit systems are falling into disrepair. Lacking the budget to do crucial maintenance, many transit workers are quick to blame the rising number of fare evaders.

I think this is one of those instances where an inciting incident might be better than an observation. Maybe there was a crash due to poor maintenance, or there was a notable breakdown that caused a massive traffic jam. Use your imagination and I think it would make it go from a good premise to a great premise.

I've added a new incident in the intro that I think refocuses the issue on fare evasion first, and then maintenance as a consequence.

SherpDaWerp wrote:If you're still worried about player autonomy in the last sentence, you can replace "you've decided" with "your aides have scheduled", although personally it's quite minor a problem anyway.

Done something like this, though now I'm uncertain if it's worth introducing the Minister of Transit without having them offer one of the options.

Drasnia wrote:
Paffnia wrote:In fact, fares need to be high enough to cover the full cost of keeping systems in operation."

So this comes across a little awkward to me. I think he's supposed to be advocating for raising ticket prices but he isn't as written. He's more just state fact/opinion without taking an active position in the matter.

I've given more reason for the train driver to care and added a clearer ask.

Drasnia wrote:
Paffnia wrote:4. "I've got an idea that will make everyone happy!" exclaims a man in a monocle, as the other delayed commuters on the platform look increasingly unhappy. "You should add luxury train cars to subways, first-class reclining seats to buses, and private cabins to public ferries. Those of us who like to travel in style will gladly pay more for a more refined transit experience. The rest of the teeming masses can pack into steerage like they always have."

I'm not really digging this option. The way he speaks doesn't make me feel like he's actually some rich ponce - at least in the beginning (the end gets a bit better). He need to be more aloof and flowery.

Added a Monopoly reference and made the language more haughty.

SherpDaWerp wrote:The last effect could be a bit better, yes. Your version is good, but I would suggest "the new hyperloop really sucks".

Changed it based on this suggestion.
Last edited by Paffnia on Tue Jul 28, 2020 8:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Former Delegate of 10000 Islands
Knight of TITO
Denes nad Makedonija


WA Ambassador: Joakim Metyhap
Paffniac Factbook
Author, SC #93: Commend The Featured Region Followers
Commended by SC #276

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20948
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Jul 28, 2020 9:23 pm

Westinor wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Yea, but why does the driver care about who pays for the service?


Their paycheck comes from the fares paid to ride the transport, no? If no one pays for the service, inevitably it affects how much they are paid. Not to mention just the quality of work.

Ok. Sorry, I meant to say this. Why would the driver care whether it's paid for by the government or by commuters or both?
From Greek Ansestry Orthodox Christian
17 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution List of NPC Nations
This account is fictious. Any In-Character posts made by this account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

User avatar
Westinor
Diplomat
 
Posts: 597
Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Tue Jul 28, 2020 9:52 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:
Westinor wrote:
Their paycheck comes from the fares paid to ride the transport, no? If no one pays for the service, inevitably it affects how much they are paid. Not to mention just the quality of work.

Ok. Sorry, I meant to say this. Why would the driver care whether it's paid for by the government or by commuters or both?


Again, they likely don't care where the money comes from, so long as they get it. If the commuters don't pay, then there's no funding. The government isn't necessarily going to pay for every fix-up to a failing public transport system, which likely measures its own success by - guess what - profit from fares. Also, the government clearly isn't paying for the fix-ups right now, and so it'd be their obligation to ask you for a solution to that, in this case raising fares.
Authorship - Things I've written!

Stay safe, wear a mask, and have a great day! :)

User avatar
Daarwyrth
Diplomat
 
Posts: 545
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Thu Jul 30, 2020 7:26 am

Westinor wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Ok. Sorry, I meant to say this. Why would the driver care whether it's paid for by the government or by commuters or both?


Again, they likely don't care where the money comes from, so long as they get it. If the commuters don't pay, then there's no funding. The government isn't necessarily going to pay for every fix-up to a failing public transport system, which likely measures its own success by - guess what - profit from fares. Also, the government clearly isn't paying for the fix-ups right now, and so it'd be their obligation to ask you for a solution to that, in this case raising fares.


I agree. I see no problem with the fact that the driver is the speaker of that option.
The Royal Commonwealth of Daarwyrth

A unified state of constituent duchies, ruled as a centralised executive monarchy, located on the fictional continent of Geldria.

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarport | Government type: Unitary semi-constitutional monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71


User avatar
SherpDaWerp
Diplomat
 
Posts: 850
Founded: Mar 02, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Thu Jul 30, 2020 4:34 pm

Paffnia wrote:and in one case parkouring over the fare gates
This did hurt my soul a little bit. There's no official single-word verb form of "parkour", and the most-accepted variant I've heard would be "tracing" (given that a practitioner of parkour is called a "traceur" or "traceuse", from the French "tracer", meaning "to trace"), although even that isn't in incredibly common usage.

I would just say "vaulting over the fare gates", myself.
Last edited by SherpDaWerp on Thu Jul 30, 2020 4:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Paffnia
Envoy
 
Posts: 201
Founded: Nov 03, 2010
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Paffnia » Fri Jul 31, 2020 9:18 am

SherpDaWerp wrote:
Paffnia wrote:and in one case parkouring over the fare gates
This did hurt my soul a little bit. There's no official single-word verb form of "parkour", and the most-accepted variant I've heard would be "tracing" (given that a practitioner of parkour is called a "traceur" or "traceuse", from the French "tracer", meaning "to trace"), although even that isn't in incredibly common usage.

I would just say "vaulting over the fare gates", myself.

Changed to "pole-vaulting."

Also, the language of Option 1 since the latest redraft should make it more reasonable that the driver says it; the driver now has more stake in the matter.
Former Delegate of 10000 Islands
Knight of TITO
Denes nad Makedonija


WA Ambassador: Joakim Metyhap
Paffniac Factbook
Author, SC #93: Commend The Featured Region Followers
Commended by SC #276

User avatar
Minskiev
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1216
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Sat Aug 01, 2020 2:21 pm

I like this issue, but option 3 reads ‘we need security camera, we need taller, we need stronger fare gates’, even though of course taller is just an adjective of fare gates. Not to mention the possibility that these new gates are still skippable.

Perhaps change that to ‘unskippable fare gates’, and I think it’ll look good.
Gentlemen, you cant fight in here. This is the war room.
Rejected Times Staff
Most recent best F7 reply:
NS Stats partially baked, roasted, sautéed, braised, grilled, broiled, poached, and fried by BLYAT
Alastair-Ivan fanfic WIP - read today!

User avatar
Paffnia
Envoy
 
Posts: 201
Founded: Nov 03, 2010
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Paffnia » Sun Aug 02, 2020 10:00 am

Minskiev wrote:I like this issue, but option 3 reads ‘we need security camera, we need taller, we need stronger fare gates’, even though of course taller is just an adjective of fare gates. Not to mention the possibility that these new gates are still skippable.

Perhaps change that to ‘unskippable fare gates’, and I think it’ll look good.

Changed to "impregnable."
Former Delegate of 10000 Islands
Knight of TITO
Denes nad Makedonija


WA Ambassador: Joakim Metyhap
Paffniac Factbook
Author, SC #93: Commend The Featured Region Followers
Commended by SC #276

Next

Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to Got Issues?

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Frieden-und Freudenland

Advertisement

Remove ads