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[SUBMITTED] A Royal Choice

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Daarwyrth
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Posts: 542
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

[SUBMITTED] A Royal Choice

Postby Daarwyrth » Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:09 pm

This is an issue idea I had been drafting in the past, but never continued it back then. As elective monarchy is still a subject I am interested in - and because I haven't seen any issues specifically about this subject yet, only 1 issue option that's not even really an elective monarchy - I wanted to rewrite the draft idea in the following way :)

CURRENT DRAFT:
[Title] A Royal Choice

[Validity] Must have Monarchy

[Description] A formal, quiet tea service at the Royal Palace became a heated affair after Prince Hansel - the youngest among his thirteen siblings - raised the topic of @@NAME@@ becoming an elective monarchy, in yet another scheme to improve his chances at the throne.

[Option 1a] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry Queen Elza of Orangedelle. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled with members of the nobility and to keep it fair, we can also seat a few commoners in there. Each time a monarch expires or abdicates, the council will choose a new one to represent our nation's identity. Easy, right?"
[Validity] Is Constitutional Monarchy

[Effect 1a] the royals bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Option 1b] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry Queen Elza of Orangedelle. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. Naturally, only the most esteemed members of the nobility would be seated on this august body. Each time a monarch expires or is "invited" off the throne, the council will choose a new one as our absolute ruler. Easy, right?"
[Validity] Is Absolute Monarchy

[Effect 1b] the royals bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Option 2a] The crown prince's cup snaps in his hands. "Now listen here, you detestable worm. It is I who crawled out of Mother's womb first. It is I who won the race to the throne. It is I who has the purest royal bloodline!" he snarls, the corner of his left eye starting to twitch. "Your attempt at subverting the line of succession is abhorrent to me and will not be tolerated. I'll see to it that anyone who dares question the heir's claim to the throne will rue the day they had been born!"
[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Effect 2a] the last shall never be first and the first remain on top

[Option 2b] The crown princess' cup snaps in her hands. "Now listen here, you detestable worm. It is I who crawled out of Mother's womb first. It is I who won the race to the throne. It is I who has the purest royal bloodline!" she snarls, the corner of her left eye starting to twitch. "Your attempt at subverting the line of succession is abhorrent to me and will not be tolerated. I'll see to it that anyone who dares question the heiress' claim to the throne will rue the day they had been born!"
[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Effect 2b] the last shall never be first and the first remain on top

[Option 2c] The current successor to the throne snaps @@HIS_1@@ cup in two. "Now listen here, you detestable worm. It is I who crawled out of Mother's womb first. It is I who won the race to the throne. It is I who has the purest royal bloodline!" @@HE_1@@ snarls, the corner of @@HIS_1@@ left eye starting to twitch. "Your attempt at subverting the line of succession is abhorrent to me and will not be tolerated. I'll see to it that anyone who dares question the successor's claim to the throne will rue the day they had been born!"
[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Effect 2c] the last shall never be first and the first remain on top

[Option 3] "Why elect a candidate from only the monarch's children, when our noble houses have dozens of fine scions to choose from?" asks Duchess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, head of a minor noble family, smelling an opportunity. "Organise a grand assembly of all the nobility and gentry in @@NAME@@ whenever the throne falls empty, and allow anyone of proven noble birth to vote for and become a candidate when a new monarch is to be elected. After all, aren't we all related to one another somehow?"

[Effect 3] everyone's a 'bastard' whenever the throne stands empty

[Option 4] "Electing our monarchs sounds interesting," thoughtfully notes an attendant serving tea. "We just need a system where every @@DEMONYM@@ will get a chance to vote. And while you're at it, allow any citizen - nobleman or commoner - to enter the election as a candidate! Just change a few lines in the laws about the royal family to make its members be more interchangeable. Oh, and it also wouldn't hurt to run a re-election every few years or so, just to make sure the people made the right choice."

[Effect 4] one thing led to another and 'monarch' became a synonym for 'president'


DRAFT 7:
[Title] A Royal Choice

[Validity] Must have Monarchy

[Description] A formal, quiet tea service at the Royal Palace became a heated affair, after Prince Hansel - the youngest among his thirteen siblings - raised the topic of @@NAME@@ becoming an elective monarchy, in yet another scheme to improve his chances at the throne.

[Option 1a] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry Queen Elza of Orangedelle. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled with members of the nobility and to keep it fair, also by a few commoners. Each time a monarch expires or abdicates, the council will choose a new one to represent our nation's identity. Easy, right?"
[Validity] Is Constitutional Monarchy

[Effect 1a] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Option 1b] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry Queen Elza of Orangedelle. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. Naturally, only the most esteemed members of the nobility would be seated on this august body. Each time a monarch expires or is "invited" off the throne, the council will choose a new one as our absolute ruler. Easy, right?"
[Validity] Is Absolute Monarchy

[Effect 1b] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Option 2a] The crown prince's cup snaps in his hands. "Now listen here, you detestable worm, it was I who crawled out of Mother's womb the first. It was I who won the race to the throne. It is I who has the purest royal bloodline!" he snarls, the corner of his left eye starting to twitch. "Your attempt at subverting the line of succession is abhorrent to me and I will not tolerate it. Questioning the heir's claim to the throne should be penalized. Fines, nay, imprisonment or exile, I say!"
[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Effect 2a] the last shall never be first and the first remain on top

[Option 2b] The crown princess' cup snaps in her hands. "Now listen here, you detestable worm, it was I who crawled out of Mother's womb the first. It was I who won the race to the throne. It is I who has the purest royal bloodline!" she snarls, the corner of her left eye starting to twitch. "Your attempt at subverting the line of succession is abhorrent to me and I will not tolerate it. Questioning the heiress' claim to the throne should be penalized. Fines, nay, imprisonment or exile, I say!"
[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Effect 2b] the last shall never be first and the first remain on top

[Option 2c] The current successor to the throne snaps @@HIS_1@@ cup in two. "Now listen here, you detestable worm, it was I who crawled out of Mother's womb the first. It was I who won the race to the throne. It is I who has the purest royal bloodline!" @@HE_1@@ snarls, the corner of @@HIS_1@@ left eye starting to twitch. "Your attempt at subverting the line of succession is abhorrent to me and I will not tolerate it. Questioning the successor's claim to the throne should be penalized. Fines, nay, imprisonment or exile, I say!"
[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Effect 2c] the last shall never be first and the first remain on top

[Option 3] "Why elect a candidate from only the monarch's children, when our noble houses have dozens of fine scions to choose from?" asks Duchess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, head of a minor noble family, smelling an opportunity. "Organise a grand assembly of all the nobility and gentry in @@NAME@@ whenever the throne falls empty, and allow anyone of proven noble birth to vote for and become a candidate when a new monarch is to be elected. After all, aren't we all related to one another somehow?"

[Effect 3] everyone's a 'bastard' whenever the throne stands empty

[Option 4] "Electing our monarchs sounds interesting," thoughtfully says an attendant serving tea. "We just need a system where every @@DEMONYM@@ will get a chance to vote. And while you're at it, allow any citizen - nobleman or commoner - to enter the election as a candidate! Just change a few lines in the laws about the royal family to make its members be more interchangeable. Oh, and it also wouldn't hurt to run a re-election every few years or so, just to make sure the people made the right choice."

[Effect 4] being sworn in instead of crowned left the new monarch rather bemused


DRAFT 6:
[Title] A Royal Choice

[Validity] Must have Monarchy

[Description] A formal, quiet tea service at the Royal Palace became a heated affair, after Prince Hansel - the youngest among his thirteen siblings - raised the topic of @@NAME@@ becoming an elective monarchy, in yet another scheme to improve his chances at the throne.

[Option 1a] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry Queen Elza of Orangedelle. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled with members of the nobility and to keep it fair, also by a few commoners. Each time a monarch expires or abdicates, the council will choose a new one to represent our nation's identity. Easy, right?"
[Validity] Is Constitutional Monarchy

[Effect 1a] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Option 1b] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry Queen Elza of Orangedelle. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. Naturally, only the most esteemed members of the nobility would be seated on this august body. Each time a monarch expires or is "invited" off the throne, the council will choose a new one as our absolute ruler. Easy, right?"
[Validity] Is Absolute Monarchy

[Effect 1b] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Option 2a] The crown prince's cup snaps in his hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" he emphasizes, the corner of his left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"
[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Effect 2a] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Option 2b] The crown princess' cup snaps in her hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" she emphasizes, the corner of her left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"
[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Effect 2b] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Option 2c] The current successor to the throne snaps @@HIS_1@@ cup in two. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" @@HE_1@@ emphasizes, the corner of @@HIS_1@@ left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"
[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Effect 2c] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Option 3] "Why elect a candidate from only the monarch's children, when our noble houses have dozens of fine scions to choose from?" asks Duchess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, head of a minor noble family, smelling an opportunity. "Organise a grand assembly of all the nobility and gentry in @@NAME@@ whenever the throne falls empty, and allow anyone of proven noble birth to vote for and become a candidate when a new monarch is to be elected. After all, aren't we all related to one another somehow?"

[Effect 3] everyone's a 'bastard' whenever the throne stands empty

[Option 4] "Electing monarchs doesn't sound too bad," begins one of the attendants serving tea. "Just allow any @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to vote in the election and hey, why not open up the candidature to any citizen, noble or commoner? It also wouldn't hurt to renew the election every few years or so, to make sure the people made the right choice, you know? And oh! Improve the current lawfully enshrined status of the royals by changing it to 'First Citizens of @@NAME@@'. It'll ehm, bring them closer to the people!"

[Effect 4] being sworn in instead of crowned left the new monarch bemused


DRAFT 5:
[Title] A Royal Choice

[Validity] Must have Monarchy

[Description] A formal, quiet tea service at the Royal Palace became a heated affair, after Prince Hansel - the youngest among his thirteen siblings - raised the topic of @@NAME@@ becoming an elective monarchy, in yet another scheme to improve his chances at the throne.

[Option 1a] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry into kingship. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled by members of the nobility and to keep it fair, also by a few commoners. Each time a monarch expires or abdicates, the council will convene to choose a new one to represent our nation's identity. Easy, right?"
[Validity] Is Constitutional Monarchy

[Effect 1a] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Option 1b] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry into kingship. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. Naturally, only the most esteemed members of the nobility would have a seat on this august body. Each time a monarch expires or is "invited" off the throne, the council will convene to choose a new one as our absolute ruler. Easy, right?"
[Validity] Is Absolute Monarchy

[Effect 1b] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Option 2a] The crown prince's cup snaps in his hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" he emphasizes, the corner of his left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"
[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Effect 2a] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Option 2b] The crown princess' cup snaps in her hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" she emphasizes, the corner of her left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"
[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture or Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Effect 2b] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Option 3] "Why elect a candidate from only the monarch's children, when our noble houses have dozens of fine scions to choose from?" asks Duchess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, head of a minor noble family, smelling an opportunity. "Organise a grand assembly of all the nobility and gentry in @@NAME@@ whenever the throne falls empty and allow anyone of proven noble birth to vote for and become a candidate when a new monarch is to be elected. After all, aren't we all related to one another somehow?"

[Effect 3] everyone's a 'bastard' whenever the throne stands empty

[Option 4] "Why not go further?" poses one of the attendants serving tea, putting down @@HIS@@ tray. "Instead of having only the elites decide everything for us, allow any @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to vote in the election of a new monarch. Not only that, but open up the royal candidature to any citizen - noble or commoner - who feels they'd be able to bear the weight of the crown. Surely the people can't elect anyone more foolish than this lot of powdered puffcakes?"

[Effect 4] even the factory worker down the street can become monarch of @@NAME@@


DRAFT 4:
[Title] A Royal Choice

[Validity] Must have Monarchy

[Description] A formal, quiet tea service at the Royal Palace became a heated affair, after Prince Hansel - the reigning monarch's thirteenth son - raised the topic of @@NAME@@ becoming an elective monarchy, in yet another gambit to improve his chances at the throne.

[Validity] Is Constitutional Monarchy

[Option 1a] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry into kingship. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled by members of the nobility - and to keep it fair by a few commoners. Each time a monarch expires or abdicates, the council will convene to choose a new one to represent our nation's identity. Easy, right?"

[Effect 1a] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Validity] Is Absolute Monarchy

[Option 1b] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry into kingship. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled by the most esteemed members of the nobility. Each time a monarch expires or is "invited" off the throne, the council will convene to choose a new one as our absolute ruler. Easy, right?"

[Effect 1b] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Option 2a] The crown prince's cup snaps in his hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" he emphasizes, the corner of his left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 2a] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Option 2b] The crown princess' cup snaps in her hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" she emphasizes, the corner of her left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 2b] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Option 2c] The current successor to the throne snaps @@HIS_1@@ cup in two. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" @@HE_1@@ emphasizes, the corner of @@HIS_1@@ left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 2c] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Option 3] "Organise an assembly!" exclaims Duchess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, head of a noble family friendly with the royals, smelling an opportunity. "A grand assembly of all the nobility and gentry in @@NAME@@ whenever the throne falls empty. Because why elect a candidate from only the monarch's children, when our noble houses have dozens of fine scions to choose from? Allow anyone of proven noble birth to vote for and become a candidate when a new monarch is to be elected. After all, aren't we all related to another somehow?"

[Effect 3] everyone's a 'bastard' whenever the throne stands empty

[Option 4] "Why not go further?" poses one of the attendants serving tea, putting down @@HIS@@ tray. "Instead of having only the elites decide everything for us, allow any @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to vote in the election of a new monarch. Not only that, but open up the royal candidature to any citizen - noble or commoner - who feels they'd be able to bear the weight of the crown. Surely the people can't elect anyone more foolish than this lot of powdered puffcakes?"

[Effect 4] even the factory worker down the street can become monarch of @@NAME@@


DRAFT 3:
[Title] A Royal Choice

[Validity] Must have Monarchy

[Description] A formal, quiet tea service at the Royal Palace became a heated debate among the royals, after Prince Hansel - the reigning monarch's thirteenth son - raised the topic of @@NAME@@ becoming an elective monarchy, in yet another gambit to improve his chances at the throne.

[Validity] Is Constitutional Monarchy

[Option 1a] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry into kingship. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled by members of the nobility - and to keep it fair by a few commoners. Each time a monarch expires or abdicates, the council will convene to choose a new one to represent our nation's identity. Easy, right?"

[Effect 1a] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Validity] Is Absolute Monarchy

[Option 1b] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry into kingship. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled by the most esteemed members of the nobility. Each time a monarch expires or is "invited" off the throne, the council will convene to choose a new one as our absolute ruler. Easy, right?"

[Effect 1b] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Option 2a] The crown prince's cup snaps in his hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" he emphasizes, the corner of his left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 2a] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Option 2b] The crown princess' cup snaps in her hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" she emphasizes, the corner of her left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 2b] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Option 2c] The current successor to the throne snaps @@HIS_1@@ cup in two. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" @@HE_1@@ emphasizes, the corner of @@HIS_1@@ left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 2c] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Option 3] "Organise an assembly!" exclaims Duchess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, head of a minor noble family, smelling an opportunity here. "A grand assembly of all the nobility and gentry in @@NAME@@ whenever the throne falls empty. Because why elect a candidate from only the monarch's children, when our noble houses have dozens of fine scions to choose from? Allow anyone of proven noble birth to vote for and become a candidate when a new monarch is to be elected. After all, aren't we all related to another somehow?"

[Effect 3] everyone's a 'bastard' whenever the throne stands empty

[Option 4] "Why not go further?" poses one of the attendants serving tea, putting down @@HIS@@ tray. "Instead of having only the elites decide everything for us, allow any @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to vote in the election of a new monarch. Not only that, but open up the royal candidature to any citizen - noble or commoner - who feels they'd be able to bear the weight of the crown. Surely the people can't elect anyone more foolish than this lot of powdered puffcakes?"

[Effect 4] even the factory worker down the street can become monarch of @@NAME@@


DRAFT 2:
[Title] A Royal Choice

[Validity] Must have Monarchy

[Description] A formal, quiet tea service at the Royal Palace became a heated debate among the royals, after Prince Hansel - the reigning monarch's thirteenth son - raised the topic of @@NAME@@ becoming an elective monarchy, in yet another gambit to improve his chances at the throne.

[Validity] Is Constitutional Monarchy

[Option 1a] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry into kingship. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled by members of the nobility - and to keep it fair by a few commoners. Each time a monarch expires or abdicates, the council will convene to choose a new head to wear the crown. Easy, right?"

[Effect 1a] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Validity] Is Absolute Monarchy

[Option 1b] "Hear me out," begins Prince Hansel, having just returned from a failed bid to marry into kingship. "We abolish all existing rules of succession and install a Royal Election Council, which will choose a successor from all of the monarch's children when the time is right. The council can be filled by the most esteemed members of the nobility. Each time a monarch expires or is "invited" off the throne, the council will convene to choose a new head to wear the crown. Easy, right?"

[Effect 1b] the royal children bankrupt themselves currying favour with the Royal Election Council

[Validity] Has Male Primogeniture

[Option 2a] The crown prince's cup snaps in his hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" he emphasizes, the corner of his left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 2a] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Validity] Has Female Primogeniture

[Option 2b] The crown princess' cup snaps in her hands. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" she emphasizes, the corner of her left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 2b] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Validity] Has Absolute Primogeniture

[Option 2c] The current successor to the throne snaps @@HIS_1@@ cup in two. "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" @@HE_1@@ emphasizes, the corner of @@HIS_1@@ left eye starting to twitch. "If others need to meddle in affairs, fine! I'll install a Council of Court Affairs that can vote for court appointments and the like, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 2c] none of the monarch's friends get posts at court anymore

[Option 3] "Let's return to the topic of that Royal Election Council," says Duchess @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, head of another noble house, smelling an opportunity here. "Because why have such a council pick a candidate from only the monarch's children, when we have dozens of noble families with fine scions to choose from! Allow anyone of proven noble birth to become a candidate for the throne when a new monarch is to be elected. After all, aren't we all related to another somehow?"

[Effect 3] everyone's a 'bastard' whenever the throne stands empty

[Option 4] "And why don't we take this idea a step further?" poses one of the attendants serving tea, putting down @@HIS@@ tray. "Instead of having an elitist Royal Election Council, allow any @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to vote in the election of a new monarch. Not only that, but open up the royal candidature to any citizen - noble or commoner - who feels they'd be able to bear the weight of the crown! Surely the people can't elect anyone more foolish than this lot of powdered puffcakes?"

[Effect 4] even the factory worker down the street can become monarch of @@NAME@@


DRAFT 1:
[Title] A Royal Choice

[Validity] Must have Monarchy

[Description] While attending a formal tea service at the Royal Palace with a number of your family members, your niece - in a flagrant breach of protocol - quite tactlessly asked why @@NAME@@ simply doesn't elect its monarchs like republics do with presidents.

[Validity] Must have Male Primogeniture

[Option 1a] The crown prince's cup snaps in his hands. "Now listen here you little sh-, ehm, shameless lady, I've waited for my crown for many years," he emphasizes, the corner of his left eye starting to twitch. "I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the smelly handshakes of all those commoners to be denied my crown! I'll allow my subjects to vote for what kind of uniform I'll wear or where I'll be crowned, or whatever, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 1a] the crown prince reportedly threw a violent fit after seeing his pink bunny coronation onesie

[Validity] Must have Female Primogeniture

[Option 1b] The crown princess' cup snaps in her hands. "Now listen here you little sh-, ehm, shameless lady, I've waited for my crown for many years," she emphasizes, the corner of her left eye starting to twitch. "I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the smelly handshakes of all those commoners to be denied my crown! I'll allow my subjects to vote for what kind of gown I'll wear or where I'll be crowned, or whatever, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 1b] the crown princess reportedly burst into tears after seeing her pink bunny coronation onesie

[Validity] Must have Absolute Primogeniture

[Option 1c] "Now listen here you little sh-, ehm, shameless lady," says the successor to the throne, after @@HIS_1@@ cup snapped in @@HIS_1@@ hands. "I've waited for my crown for many years," @@HE_1@@ emphasizes, the corner of @@HIS_1@@ left eye starting to twitch. "I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the smelly handshakes of all those commoners to be denied my crown! I'll allow my subjects to vote for what kind of attire I'll wear or where I'll be crowned, or whatever, but I will not have you lot vote whether I get the crown!"

[Effect 1c] the new monarch reportedly burned the pink bunny coronation onesie after the ceremony

[Option 2] "I quite like that idea!" says Prince Hansel, the reigning monarch's thirteenth son, whose plan to marry into kingship seems to have horribly failed. "Let's abolish any existing rules of succession and allow the citizens of @@NAME@@ to vote which of the monarch's children they want to ascend the throne when the time has come. Surely nothing can go wrong with such a scheme?"

[Effect 2] the royal family is irreparably torn apart after a fierce election campaign

[Option 3] "No, that won't do!" bursts out one of the attendants, dropping @@HIS_2@@ tray with loud clattering. "If we are to elect our monarchs, we ought to do it right! I have seen these prancing peacocks make a mess of things day-in, day-out and there was nothing I could do! Give commoners like me a chance to wear the crown of @@NAME@@ and open up the royal candidature for any citizen of our nation! Surely the people can't elect anyone more foolish than this lot of powdered puffcakes?"

[Effect 3] thieves no longer have to steal the crown jewels in order to wear them
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Wed Aug 12, 2020 3:03 pm, edited 27 times in total.
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:22 pm

Er, how exactly would an elective monarchy work? Doesn't that just make the monarch a figurehead or just a regular executive political figure?
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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:24 pm

Westinor wrote:Er, how exactly would an elective monarchy work? Doesn't that just make the monarch a figurehead or just a regular executive political figure?


That could be left to the discretion of the player. If their nation is an absolute monarchy, then the election happens for the absolute monarch. The same applies for ceremonial, constitutional or executive constitutional monarchies. It's intentionally left vague so as to hopefully be eligible for all monarchy types :)

In essence, under an elective monarchy a nation would have an elected crowned head of state for life or abdication or deposition.
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The United Monarchy of Daarwyrth

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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:29 pm

Daarwyrth wrote:
Westinor wrote:Er, how exactly would an elective monarchy work? Doesn't that just make the monarch a figurehead or just a regular executive political figure?


That could be left to the discretion of the player. If their nation is an absolute monarchy, then the election happens for the absolute monarch. The same applies for ceremonial, constitutional or executive constitutional monarchies. It's intentionally left vague so as to hopefully be eligible for all monarchy types :)


Huh, that's interesting. Is there any precedent for the monarch being elected?
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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:34 pm

Westinor wrote:
Daarwyrth wrote:
That could be left to the discretion of the player. If their nation is an absolute monarchy, then the election happens for the absolute monarch. The same applies for ceremonial, constitutional or executive constitutional monarchies. It's intentionally left vague so as to hopefully be eligible for all monarchy types :)


Huh, that's interesting. Is there any precedent for the monarch being elected?


As in the real world? There is a list of elective monarchies, the most notable being Vatican City of course. Historically there was Poland-Lithuania, the Stadholder of the Dutch Republic of the 17th century and modern day examples such as Cambodia or Malaysia.

As for NationStates, there is the issue Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow which offers up an approximation of an elective monarchy in Option 3, but not the real thing, I feel.
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The United Monarchy of Daarwyrth

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Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarport | Government type: Unitary absolute monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71


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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Sun Jul 26, 2020 4:38 pm

Daarwyrth wrote:
Westinor wrote:
Huh, that's interesting. Is there any precedent for the monarch being elected?


As in the real world? There is a list of elective monarchies, the most notable being Vatican City of course. Historically there was Poland-Lithuania, the Stadholder of the Dutch Republic of the 17th century and modern day examples such as Cambodia or Malaysia.

As for NationStates, there is the issue Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow which offers up an approximation of an elective monarchy in Option 3, but not the real thing, I feel.


Huh, alright then!
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:24 am

Effect for option 3- who would elect a theif? Also, don't elected monarchs rule for life? How many monarchs would die in one's life time
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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Mon Jul 27, 2020 4:39 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Effect for option 3- who would elect a theif? Also, don't elected monarchs rule for life? How many monarchs would die in one's life time


How do you know if someone is a thief? If they aren't ever caught, then you never know, do you? :P

And yes, monarchs do rule for life, but I don't see why that would pose a problem for an elective monarchy. Upon the monarch's death, there simply will be held an election as to who is meant to succeed them.
The United Monarchy of Daarwyrth

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Mon Jul 27, 2020 7:02 am

After having slept a night over it, I felt dissatisfied with the first draft. As such, I have rewritten it with a slightly altered premise. I have also included a more detailed explanation in the options, as to what an elective monarchy would entail.

At a first glance, it may seem as if there are a lot of options in this issue. Rest assured, that's only because I have included the validities of constitutional and absolute monarchy in the first option and the various primogenitures in option 2.
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Pythaga
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Postby Pythaga » Mon Jul 27, 2020 1:09 pm

Description wrote:raised the topic of @@NAME@@ becoming an elective monarchy, in yet another spiel to improve his chances at the throne.


I don't think that spiel really fits here, as it isn't the rant itself that improves his chances, but the idea behind it. I would recommend replacing it with either bid, gambit, or scheme.

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Mon Jul 27, 2020 1:11 pm

Pythaga wrote:
Description wrote:raised the topic of @@NAME@@ becoming an elective monarchy, in yet another spiel to improve his chances at the throne.


I don't think that spiel really fits here, as it isn't the rant itself that improves his chances, but the idea behind it. I would recommend replacing it with either bid, gambit, or scheme.


'Gambit' sounds fitting in my opinion!
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Ko-oren
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Postby Ko-oren » Tue Jul 28, 2020 8:30 am

I think that the validities for option 1a and 1b could be represented in the option a bit stronger, else there is no reason to keep 1a and 1b separate.

The same more or less goes for option 2a/b/c, where they could all be supplanted by 2c. I get that 'crown prince(ss)' flows a lot better than having 'current successor to the throne' in the text, though.

Option 3 (or 4) isn't/aren't really different from option 1. Option 1 already says "We abolish all existing rules of succession" and "choose a new head to wear the crown" which open up lanes for options 3 and 4 automatically anyway. I get that option 4 has a very different intention, which can be rephrased to make that a bit clearer.
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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Tue Jul 28, 2020 9:12 am

Ko-oren wrote:I think that the validities for option 1a and 1b could be represented in the option a bit stronger, else there is no reason to keep 1a and 1b separate.

The same more or less goes for option 2a/b/c, where they could all be supplanted by 2c. I get that 'crown prince(ss)' flows a lot better than having 'current successor to the throne' in the text, though.

Option 3 (or 4) isn't/aren't really different from option 1. Option 1 already says "We abolish all existing rules of succession" and "choose a new head to wear the crown" which open up lanes for options 3 and 4 automatically anyway. I get that option 4 has a very different intention, which can be rephrased to make that a bit clearer.


Well, the difference in validities of 1a and 1b is subtle, but there. Especially if you look at an issue like #596 where the distinction between absolute and constitutional monarchies is fairly subtle as well, in my opinion.

Also, I feel the validities are a nice touch for people who specifically chose one option or the other in the issues that deal with the topic of primogeniture. It seems appropriate to acknowledge their choice by adding in textual variation :) or at least, I know I'd appreciate that from the issues and would love to see it.

As this issue specifically deals with elective monarchies, I wanted to stick to that topic in the options. As a lot of the monarchy issues have a reversal, I didn't want to include one in this one. On top of that, I have written this issue as a way to (hopefully) flesh out the subject of elective monarchies in the issue base, for as far as I have seen there isn't one that deal with the subject yet. As such, I wanted the player to give various options as to how to organise the elective monarchy. Can only the monarch's children compete? Can all nobles compete? Or is the throne open to be claimed by any citizen of Daarwyrth? The difference between should be impactful, I believe, especially as it determines the nature of the nation's head of state.
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Tue Jul 28, 2020 11:05 am, edited 2 times in total.
The United Monarchy of Daarwyrth

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Tue Jul 28, 2020 11:06 am

Ko-oren wrote:I think that the validities for option 1a and 1b could be represented in the option a bit stronger, else there is no reason to keep 1a and 1b separate.

The same more or less goes for option 2a/b/c, where they could all be supplanted by 2c. I get that 'crown prince(ss)' flows a lot better than having 'current successor to the throne' in the text, though.

Option 3 (or 4) isn't/aren't really different from option 1. Option 1 already says "We abolish all existing rules of succession" and "choose a new head to wear the crown" which open up lanes for options 3 and 4 automatically anyway. I get that option 4 has a very different intention, which can be rephrased to make that a bit clearer.


In light of your commentary I made a few changes to option 3 and tweaked the texts of 1a and 1b a bit to hopefully create more distinction for their validities :) as such, new draft is up!
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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Thu Jul 30, 2020 7:20 am

I put up a new draft with a few little tweaks and changes :)
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Drasnia
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Postby Drasnia » Thu Jul 30, 2020 5:23 pm

All these validities are making it a bit difficult to understand what validity is to what option (is there a way to cut down on the doppelgangers?), but I think I've got it. Apologies if I make a mistake.

Daarwyrth wrote:A formal, quiet tea service at the Royal Palace became a heated affair, after Prince Hansel - the reigning monarch's thirteenth son

So this is a very minor nitpick, but it's bugging me. What I think you're going for is making things a bit ambiguous as some people like to envision themselves as the monarch and some people Prime Minister (or whatever constitutional equivalent). But the descriptor ends up feeling a little awkward. I'd just phrase it as "thirteenth in the line of succession" or "thirteenth in the line to the throne." It would come across a little strange to hear your thirteenth son described as "the reigning monarch's thirteenth son", even if it makes total sense to PM players, y'know?

The council can be filled by members of the nobility - and to keep it fair by a few commoners. Each time a monarch expires or abdicates, the council will convene to choose a new one to represent our nation's identity. Easy, right?"

So there's some weird wording choices in here, I feel. "And to keep it fair by a few commoners" I think means having a few commoners in the council, right? But it doesn't really make grammatical sense to me. I'd think it'd be more like "And to keep it fair, a few commers too." or similar.

Shouldn't expires just be "dies" or "passes away"?

I'm not really getting why that sentence has to change between the two doppelgangers. There has to be a way to make it the same between the two, like "anytime the throne becomes vacant", except better than that lol.

Daarwyrth wrote:whenever the throne falls empty.

Oh hey, you did!

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Thu Jul 30, 2020 5:40 pm

Drasnia wrote:All these validities are making it a bit difficult to understand what validity is to what option (is there a way to cut down on the doppelgangers?), but I think I've got it. Apologies if I make a mistake.

Daarwyrth wrote:A formal, quiet tea service at the Royal Palace became a heated affair, after Prince Hansel - the reigning monarch's thirteenth son

So this is a very minor nitpick, but it's bugging me. What I think you're going for is making things a bit ambiguous as some people like to envision themselves as the monarch and some people Prime Minister (or whatever constitutional equivalent). But the descriptor ends up feeling a little awkward. I'd just phrase it as "thirteenth in the line of succession" or "thirteenth in the line to the throne." It would come across a little strange to hear your thirteenth son described as "the reigning monarch's thirteenth son", even if it makes total sense to PM players, y'know?

The council can be filled by members of the nobility - and to keep it fair by a few commoners. Each time a monarch expires or abdicates, the council will convene to choose a new one to represent our nation's identity. Easy, right?"

So there's some weird wording choices in here, I feel. "And to keep it fair by a few commoners" I think means having a few commoners in the council, right? But it doesn't really make grammatical sense to me. I'd think it'd be more like "And to keep it fair, a few commers too." or similar.

Shouldn't expires just be "dies" or "passes away"?

I'm not really getting why that sentence has to change between the two doppelgangers. There has to be a way to make it the same between the two, like "anytime the throne becomes vacant", except better than that lol.

Daarwyrth wrote:whenever the throne falls empty.

Oh hey, you did!


I suppose I could group the validities together in a way that makes it clearer which belongs to which option. My primary reason for including these validities is so that players can feel their previous choices are reflected in the new issues they receive.

The line "reigning monarch's thirteenth son" was written that way as it's a direct reference to Prince Hans from Frozen :P the line doesn't flow nicely however, so I'll adjust it in the new draft.

The "and to keep it fair by a few commoners" was a continuation of the sentence directly preceding it, but it may indeed appear more elegant if it's made its own sentence.

In this situation the word "dies" feels a little flat. I guess passes away could be an alternative, but expires is shorter and more eloquent, in my opinion :)

The sentence between the doppelgangers changes to reflect Absolute Monarchies and Constitutional Monarchies. I have given the Constitutional one a kinder tone while the Absolute one is dismissive of the commoners, implies overthrowing is a more frequent occurrence with the euphemism "invited off the throne" and of course, the mention of Absolute rule. As I said before, the primary motivation for this is to reflect players' previous choices. As I really appreciate it when issues acknowledge my previous choices when I answer issues, I wanted to include it in this one as well. That's the sole reason why there are so many validities ;)
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A unified state of constituent duchies, ruled by one absolute monarch, located on the fictional continent of Geldria.

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Jul 31, 2020 5:39 am

A new draft is up with several of Drasnia's proposed changes worked into it!

For purposes of readability, I have changed where the validities appear to hopefully clarify which belongs to what option. I have also highlighted them, so that they won't sink away in the text.

I have also changed the line "the reigning monarch's thirteenth son" to "the youngest among his thirteen siblings", so hopefully that sounds better :)

To remove at least one doppelganger option, I have removed 2c, which referred to the crown prince/princess in the most ambiguous way possible, because I believed it fit with the concept of Absolute Primogeniture. I don't know whether it's possible to add an or to the validities section, but technically option 2b could serve as the line for both Female Primogeniture and Absolute Primogeniture. However, I am not entirely convinced about this approach myself and would therefore love to know what people think about this particular change!

As I said in my previous post, the reason why there are multiple doppelgangers and thus validities, is because I believe it would be nice if previous choices made by the player (such as a nation choosing Absolute Monarchy or Female Primogeniture) were to be reflected in the issue/option texts. And in option 2 it's necessary, I'd argue, because if a nation has male primogeniture, it would be odd if there suddenly was a crown princess instead of prince.

Anyway, I am eager to know what people think of the new draft! :)
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Fri Jul 31, 2020 5:41 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Electrum
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Capitalizt

Postby Electrum » Fri Jul 31, 2020 6:20 am

Just a few points - it's a bit weird that you have Prince Hansel coming back from a "failed bid to marry into kingship" - it's unclear whether he's wanting to marry the current heir (which would be gross because they would somehow be related because they're family) or marrying someone else in another land? I think you can just add a few more words to remove the ambiguity there.

Also it's fine to have multiple doppelgangers for genders. Issue 596 on primogeniture has four pairs of options (for a total of 8) depending on whether the monarchy is male or female preference, or whether the monarchy is constitutional/absolute. I don't know if it's a good idea to combine the female-preference and absolute primogeniture options together because there may be different effects (not an editor so don't know whether there is an actual difference or not) that can occur based on the type of monarchy. Although in saying that, you could probably submit that as is and let the editor deal with those complications :P

I'm also a bit unsure about the balance of options - you have:

1. elect from the main family
2. stick to the current system
3. elect from wider nobility
4. elect from anyone

The problem is that three of the four options are basically "do an elective monarchy." I don't think there's much utility or need in having all three of those options being there - the issue becomes uninteresting if three of the options are just variations of each other. For example, Option 4 can be written more ambiguously so that it sounds you're electing a monarch out of anyone, but the real effect is to abolish the monarchy altogether - I mean, a head of state elected by all citizens is basically a presidential system. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for, but that would be one way to expand the choice set to make the issue more interesting.
Last edited by Electrum on Fri Jul 31, 2020 6:22 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Daarwyrth
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Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Jul 31, 2020 7:30 am

Electrum wrote:Just a few points - it's a bit weird that you have Prince Hansel coming back from a "failed bid to marry into kingship" - it's unclear whether he's wanting to marry the current heir (which would be gross because they would somehow be related because they're family) or marrying someone else in another land? I think you can just add a few more words to remove the ambiguity there.


The reference was to how Prince Hans tries to become king by intending to marry Queen Elsa in Frozen, haha. But I realise not everyone will get this reference, so I clarified it up a bit.

Electrum wrote:Also it's fine to have multiple doppelgangers for genders. Issue 596 on primogeniture has four pairs of options (for a total of 8) depending on whether the monarchy is male or female preference, or whether the monarchy is constitutional/absolute. I don't know if it's a good idea to combine the female-preference and absolute primogeniture options together because there may be different effects (not an editor so don't know whether there is an actual difference or not) that can occur based on the type of monarchy. Although in saying that, you could probably submit that as is and let the editor deal with those complications :P


Alright, I have returned the old 2c option in the newest draft! :)

Electrum wrote:I'm also a bit unsure about the balance of options - you have:

1. elect from the main family
2. stick to the current system
3. elect from wider nobility
4. elect from anyone

The problem is that three of the four options are basically "do an elective monarchy." I don't think there's much utility or need in having all three of those options being there - the issue becomes uninteresting if three of the options are just variations of each other. For example, Option 4 can be written more ambiguously so that it sounds you're electing a monarch out of anyone, but the real effect is to abolish the monarchy altogether - I mean, a head of state elected by all citizens is basically a presidential system. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for, but that would be one way to expand the choice set to make the issue more interesting.


A presidential system is not what I was going for initially. Basically the idea was to have the monarch be elected by anyone from anyone. However, I recognise the point you're making and agree with it! I have changed the fourth option in the newest draft and hopefully it is along the lines of what you meant :)
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Westinor
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Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Sat Aug 01, 2020 4:50 pm

Daarwyrth wrote: "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" he emphasizes


There's something I'd like to bring up about this line of logic - one way or another, this is what elected politicians do, whether it's their birthright or not. This isn't an argument a crown prince or heir would make for keeping the throne, but rather something along the lines of "bloodline purity" or some other argument along the lines of "I was born to deserve this". It's safe to assume that those painfully pointless ceremonies and handshakes aren't exclusive to the heir, nor are they exclusive to a non-elective monarchy, so this argument is moot. Try to steer the argument towards what I mentioned before. On a broader note, you don't have to twist the issue structure to conform to normality - there doesn't need to be a compromise here, and the character's flavor would be much spicier if they were just a heartless, power-hungry monarch, though I'm not saying you have to go along with that, just that you don't have to avoid certain areas all of the time.

Also, "emphasizes" feels a bit weak to me. "Snarls" or "growls" might work better.
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Sun Aug 02, 2020 10:58 am

Westinor wrote:
Daarwyrth wrote: "Now listen here, I didn't smile through all those painfully pointless ceremonies or endure the handshakes of all those smelly commoners to be denied my crown!" he emphasizes


There's something I'd like to bring up about this line of logic - one way or another, this is what elected politicians do, whether it's their birthright or not. This isn't an argument a crown prince or heir would make for keeping the throne, but rather something along the lines of "bloodline purity" or some other argument along the lines of "I was born to deserve this". It's safe to assume that those painfully pointless ceremonies and handshakes aren't exclusive to the heir, nor are they exclusive to a non-elective monarchy, so this argument is moot. Try to steer the argument towards what I mentioned before. On a broader note, you don't have to twist the issue structure to conform to normality - there doesn't need to be a compromise here, and the character's flavor would be much spicier if they were just a heartless, power-hungry monarch, though I'm not saying you have to go along with that, just that you don't have to avoid certain areas all of the time.

Also, "emphasizes" feels a bit weak to me. "Snarls" or "growls" might work better.


I have worked your feedback into the newest draft! Hopefully the character of the heir/heiress has more spice, as you said :) do let me know, as I am very interested whether this is what you were counting on!

Also, as Electrum commented, I have tried to make option 4 more ambiguous in its intent to discretely abolish the monarchy. I admit I struggled a little with how to approach it, so I would like to know what people think at the moment. Is the intent still too obvious? Or is it more vague now? If it is still too obvious, would people have suggestions as to how to approach such an option?
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Sun Aug 02, 2020 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
The United Monarchy of Daarwyrth

A unified state of constituent duchies, ruled by one absolute monarch, located on the fictional continent of Geldria.

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarport | Government type: Unitary absolute monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71


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Daarwyrth
Diplomat
 
Posts: 542
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Thu Aug 06, 2020 11:48 am

Any new thoughts or comments? :)
The United Monarchy of Daarwyrth

A unified state of constituent duchies, ruled by one absolute monarch, located on the fictional continent of Geldria.

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarport | Government type: Unitary absolute monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71


User avatar
Daarwyrth
Diplomat
 
Posts: 542
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Mon Aug 10, 2020 11:12 am

Moving this to last call, as I am satisfied with where it is currently at :) any last feedback or comments would be most appreciated though!
The United Monarchy of Daarwyrth

A unified state of constituent duchies, ruled by one absolute monarch, located on the fictional continent of Geldria.

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarport | Government type: Unitary absolute monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71


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Westinor
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Posts: 596
Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Mon Aug 10, 2020 11:29 am

Effect line one feels a bit weak, but could probably work. "The royal children" feels like weird phrasing though, maybe something like "monarchial successors" (that feels weird as I say it too, though). Perhaps if you'd like to change it, I'd suggest something along the lines of "royals spend their entire lives courting the Royal Election Council", and to continue playing off of that you could suggest incompetence as a result of that. So maybe

"monarchs are proficient in wooing the Royal Election Council and nothing else", or you could make a play out of monarchs being literally figureheads.

Daarwyrth wrote:it was I who crawled out of Mother's womb the first


Delete "the". Also, in the next sentence you might want to change "was" to "I", but that's definitely a matter of preference. For consistency, you might want to change them all to "is", but that instead feels weird in the first sentence, but "was" doesn't make sense in the context of the last sentence. In any case, the reason I bring this up is because "was" makes it feel like the speaker is already conceding, and alsosort of ruins it consistence-wise for me. But it's not a huge problem.

Daarwyrth wrote:Questioning the heir's claim to the throne should be penalized. Fines, nay, imprisonment or exile, I say!


This could be stronger. The rest of the character is already in "I will break you in half" mode, so keep it up in the result/action sentences.

Daarwyrth wrote:to me and I will


This feels like strange phrasing and is a bit repetitive. maybe "Your feeble attempt at subverting the line of succession is abhorrent and ___ to me" for clearer phrasing, or simple "Your feeble attempt at subvverting the line of succession will not be tolerated", which will make the next sentence (which is the punishing action sentence) stronger.

Daarwyrth wrote:says


I like "comments" or "notes" here. Style choice :p
Daarwyrth wrote:being sworn in instead of crowned left the new monarch rather bemused


Could be stronger, and assumes that an event has happened. You could play off this effect line's reference to democratic tendencies, but I don't think you should assume the ascension of a new monarch, even if the option advocates for term limits.
Authorship - Things I've written!

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