[title]Family Feudalism
[validity] feudalism, allows sexual reproduction
[desc] A feud between the Houses of Wigglebottom and Swigglesutton spiraled out of control when Lord Wigglebottom discovered that one of his serfs was in a relationship with Lord Swigglesutton’s eldest son and heir, and that the serf had even bore a child to him. Understandably upset, he marched to your court with the offending parties in tow, pursuing your thoughts on the matter.
[option] "I demand compensation for this travesty!" bellows Lord Wigglebottom, his large belly shaking from side to side. "This child was born on my land, to a serf on my land! He will be out in the fields once he can carry a basket! If you're born on these fields, you're damn well working on these fields!"
[effect] blue blooded serfs get red faces after working hours under the hot sun
[option] "The child should be mine!" roars the Swigglesutton heir, while gazing at your secretary. "He is my heir, and he ought to be brought up like a gentleman, instead of a lowly yokel. We can school and raise him to be a proper lord. Of course that means his mother can’t see him again, but that’s probably for the best."
[effect] serfs find it hard to pay child support on lords' illegitimate children
[option] "How about a compromise?" inquires your Minister of Compromising, standing in such a way that exactly half of his body is inside the room, and half of it is outside. "For the first six months of a year, he can eat like a king at the Swigglesutton manor. In the next six months, he can slave away at Wigglebottom plantations. In fact, he'll become much more well-rounded that way, since he'll learn new life skills in the fields and manners in the castle. I’m so brilliant, aren’t I?"
[effect] the newly discovered Demeter's Syndrome is halting productivity in @@NAME@@ each half year
[option] "What we ought to do is banish this so called aristocrat!" bellows Duke William Michael Andrew Peter Bartholomew Kieran Mumford Whitehall Blake Sutcliffe-Remington. "This degenerate decided to mingle with the help! Well, let’s see how he likes the common folk when he’s with them forever! Banish anyone from having relationships with those from another level in the system to the bottom tier!"
[effect] politely greeting a peasant is the easiest way to become one
[option] "You guys are no fun at all!" scoffs game show host Steph Barney, admiring his shiny bald head in a nearby mirror. "Just get the two families onto my game show! Winners gets the child, losing team gets dunked into a pool of slime! In fact, all custody disagreements should be solved by game shows! If you’re unable to name a common object in a bathroom, you don’t really deserve to be a parent."
[validity] has television, substantial technology
[effect] parents spin the Wheel or Fortune to determine how many days of visitation they get
While I wait for feedback on my extradition and impersonation issues, I’ve decided to expand on a funny title idea in the Issues Collab Server. Leave comments please!