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[SUBMITTED] A Friend With Weed Is A Friend Indeed?

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Westinor
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[SUBMITTED] A Friend With Weed Is A Friend Indeed?

Postby Westinor » Wed Jul 15, 2020 11:32 am

Hopefully it hits the humor mark without going too far off the reigns :blink: Let me know what you think! Feedback and criticism is always appreciated :p

[title] A Friend With Weed Is A Friend Indeed

[desc] Recent reports have revealed that drug cartels are supplying the poorer citizens in @@NAME@@ with food and supplies, currying favor among the masses and in turn making it much harder for the police to apprehend drug kingpins. Several encounters between locals and law enforcement officials on their way to arrest reported cartel members have escalated into full-on firefights, with nearly two dozen citizens and police officers dead and counting.
[validity] answered 1016.1/2(or however a war on drugs might be tracked, stat-wise or not), low poor incomes, has guns, capitalist

[option] "@@LEADER@@, these are our people," says militant weed manufacturer Ivana Smoke, who is rumored to run half of the black market operations in @@NAME@@. "We provide them with essentials that the government neglects, and in turn they shield us from unlawful prosecution. This war on drugs is getting you nowhere — your own citizens aren't even on your side! Cease this mindless carnage, and divert your security funds to places where they'll really help, like welfare and education. Stick with the disenfranchised and the poor, @@LEADER@@ — we are not the enemy.”
[effect] newly-educated children are awfully blunt with their parents

[option] "Hey! Quick, grab 'im!" orders Police Chief @@RANDOMNAME@@ as several security guards attempt to tackle the kingpin, who disappears in a cloud of strange-smelling smoke. "Gah, we'll get 'em next time! @@LEADER@@, we can't let our glorious @@TYPE@@ be tainted by these ghastly substances — if anything, we need to go harder on these criminals! Give us more funding, more individual autonomy, and allow us to arrest any civilian seen in league with these dastardly thugs! That'll show those high-in-the-sky idiots who's boss."
[effect] it's a crime just to be helped out
(alternative) charity distribution sites are regularly raided by the police

[option] "These people are doing ourrr own work for us!" exclaims your brother in extremely slurred speech as he takes a hit out of an impossibly large bong. "Let themm *hic* keep feeding them or whatever, and—" he doubles over and coughs several times, "We can focus on other stuff like—" he throws up on your shoes, "Tourism, or something. Isn't this a great opportunity to promote our sight-seeing induhstryyy? I'm sure people would looove to feed the pheasants. Or something. Haha!" He passes out on the floor.
[effect] bewildered tourists help drug kingpins hand out food to poor @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@
Last edited by Westinor on Fri Aug 14, 2020 10:15 am, edited 29 times in total.
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Pythaga
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Postby Pythaga » Wed Jul 15, 2020 12:34 pm

I’m really liking the title and the puns.

Effect line 1 calls it an extracurricular class. An extracurricular class is optional. I think replacing ‘extracurricular’ with ‘mandatory’ makes for a better line, and better aligns with what the option states.

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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Wed Jul 15, 2020 12:51 pm

Pythaga wrote:I’m really liking the title and the puns.

Effect line 1 calls it an extracurricular class. An extracurricular class is optional. I think replacing ‘extracurricular’ with ‘mandatory’ makes for a better line, and better aligns with what the option states.


Changed it, thanks! :)
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Wed Jul 15, 2020 9:56 pm

Okay, cleaned it up a bit. The third option might be an eyesore, but I myself can't really tell if the interpretation of "slurred speech" works or not. Comments on that (and the rest of the draft :p ) would be great!
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Ko-oren
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Postby Ko-oren » Thu Jul 16, 2020 4:06 am

"Firefights" in the description means a nation must allow firearms in some capacity. Obviously, if they are banned or not, some criminal groups will get their hands on firearms, but they still shouldn't be common - especially if the common folk join in ("encounters between locals and law enforcement officials [...] have escalated into full-on firefights").

The speech in option 3 gets the point across, I feel.

I'm getting the feeling option 3 allows recreational drug use, as in, that's the point of the option. Am I correct?
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Thu Jul 16, 2020 5:48 am

Why would the guy in option 1 support more welfare? If the government gives welfare to the poor, the mafia loses their support
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Thu Jul 16, 2020 9:39 am

Ko-oren wrote:"Firefights" in the description means a nation must allow firearms in some capacity. Obviously, if they are banned or not, some criminal groups will get their hands on firearms, but they still shouldn't be common - especially if the common folk join in ("encounters between locals and law enforcement officials [...] have escalated into full-on firefights").

The speech in option 3 gets the point across, I feel.

I'm getting the feeling option 3 allows recreational drug use, as in, that's the point of the option. Am I correct?


Got it, edited.

Yep, it's basically letting the drug cartels do whatever they want.
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Thu Jul 16, 2020 9:41 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Why would the guy in option 1 support more welfare? If the government gives welfare to the poor, the mafia loses their support


Well, if the war on drugs ceases (as option 1 is basically trying to do), the cartels don't need "support" since they're a legal operation. If they became legal, the idea is that the government picks up the slack, since they now don't need so many funds in law enforcement, and the drug cartels can do their own thing.

EDIT: would that make this issue need the capitalism validity then, since that would be a private operation?
Last edited by Westinor on Thu Jul 16, 2020 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Thu Jul 16, 2020 1:09 pm

The mafia aren't necessarily in favor of legalizing what they do, either. You can charge a lot more selling illegal stuff on the black market than you could openly selling something that's easier to come by because it's legal.

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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Thu Jul 16, 2020 1:25 pm

Trotterdam wrote:The mafia aren't necessarily in favor of legalizing what they do, either. You can charge a lot more selling illegal stuff on the black market than you could openly selling something that's easier to come by because it's legal.


That's a good point, though I'm sure the cartels aren't very happy about the government trying to shut them down as a result of their practices being illegal. I'll remove the "legalize our practice", and have the first option be more along the lines of "leave us alone and focus on other things".
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Sanctaria
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Postby Sanctaria » Thu Jul 16, 2020 11:52 pm

I'm not going to comment on the rest of the draft, but with regards to the title, you need to add a ? to delineate it as a topic of debate, rather than a declaratory endorsement of drug taking.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Jul 17, 2020 3:06 am

Good issue.

Is the title a deliberate reference to the song Pure Morning by Placebo, or is that coincidental?
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Fri Jul 17, 2020 8:37 am

Sanctaria wrote:I'm not going to comment on the rest of the draft, but with regards to the title, you need to add a ? to delineate it as a topic of debate, rather than a declaratory endorsement of drug taking.


Edited, thanks!

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Good issue.

Is the title a deliberate reference to the song Pure Morning by Placebo, or is that coincidental?


Purely coincidental, though looking at it that’s pretty interesting
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Jul 18, 2020 5:44 am

Trotterdam wrote:The mafia aren't necessarily in favor of legalizing what they do, either. You can charge a lot more selling illegal stuff on the black market than you could openly selling something that's easier to come by because it's legal.

Not necasserily, it depends on what they're selling. If they're selling a black market version of what's already legal (say cigarettes) then the entire business model is based on selling things cheaper to compete against legitimate businesses
Last edited by Australian rePublic on Sat Jul 18, 2020 5:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Pythaga
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Postby Pythaga » Sun Jul 19, 2020 4:56 pm

Description wrote:Recent reports have revealed that drug cartels are supplying the poorer citizens in @@NAME@@ with food and supplies,


What exactly do you mean by supplies? Are they basic living essentials in the same vein as food, or drugs/something else not immediately necessary for survival? Basically, are the cartels just doing the bare minimum to keep folks alive or are they going above and beyond in their offerings?

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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Sun Jul 19, 2020 5:40 pm

Pythaga wrote:
Description wrote:Recent reports have revealed that drug cartels are supplying the poorer citizens in @@NAME@@ with food and supplies,


What exactly do you mean by supplies? Are they basic living essentials in the same vein as food, or drugs/something else not immediately necessary for survival? Basically, are the cartels just doing the bare minimum to keep folks alive or are they going above and beyond in their offerings?


Water, clothes maybe, etc. I don't really know how I'd condense that, so I said supplies.
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Pythaga
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Postby Pythaga » Sun Jul 19, 2020 5:42 pm

Westinor wrote:
Pythaga wrote:
What exactly do you mean by supplies? Are they basic living essentials in the same vein as food, or drugs/something else not immediately necessary for survival? Basically, are the cartels just doing the bare minimum to keep folks alive or are they going above and beyond in their offerings?


Water, clothes maybe, etc. I don't really know how I'd condense that, so I said supplies.


It doesn't especially matter, I was more curious about how much welfare would have to provide to be on par with the cabal if option 2 was chosen.

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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Sun Jul 19, 2020 9:05 pm

Pythaga wrote:
Westinor wrote:
Water, clothes maybe, etc. I don't really know how I'd condense that, so I said supplies.


It doesn't especially matter, I was more curious about how much welfare would have to provide to be on par with the cabal if option 2 was chosen.


Ah, alright. Well then, that then :p
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Thu Jul 23, 2020 11:51 am

Made a few minor edits to the first and second option. Feedback would be appreciated!
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Jul 24, 2020 10:31 am

Effect lines all "pass" but none of them pop. #3 is the best, while #1 and #2 seem like effect lines I'd keep if I couldn't think of anything better, but where I'd really be trying to think of something better.

Don't take this as saying it's bad writing here. As a whole, the issue is strong, though. You're clearly on top of your game right now, and we're only talking the difference between great and wonderful.
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Fri Jul 24, 2020 12:24 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Effect lines all "pass" but none of them pop. #3 is the best, while #1 and #2 seem like effect lines I'd keep if I couldn't think of anything better, but where I'd really be trying to think of something better.

Don't take this as saying it's bad writing here. As a whole, the issue is strong, though. You're clearly on top of your game right now, and we're only talking the difference between great and wonderful.


Okay, I'll get to working on that too! Thanks!
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Sun Jul 26, 2020 7:45 pm

I've updated the effect lines, hopefully they're better than before! I'm going to see if I can find a better one for Op3, but not sure as of right now.
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Sat Aug 01, 2020 2:16 pm

Going to move this up to last call soon, if there aren't any other suggestions!
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Wed Aug 05, 2020 6:13 pm

Er, came up with a new effect line for Op2 - I don't know if it exactly makes sense? Hopefully it's better?
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Pythaga
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Postby Pythaga » Wed Aug 05, 2020 9:31 pm

Westinor wrote:Er, came up with a new effect line for Op2 - I don't know if it exactly makes sense? Hopefully it's better?


It doesn’t really make sense to me, but it could very well be an obvious pop-culture reference I’m missing.

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