NATION

PASSWORD

[DRAFT] Oral Traditions

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21620
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

[DRAFT] Oral Traditions

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 14, 2020 5:29 am

Had a failed draft a few months ago that was just too much for many reasons, but it had a good title, so here's the same title with a different issue!

Based around the fact that crazy Americans whiten their teeth. You crazy, you Americans!

DRAFT 2: SOCIALIST VERSION ADDED
TITLE:
Oral Traditions

VALIDITY:
Body modification not banned,

DESCRIPTION:
Home tooth-whitening kits -- based on peroxide bleach -- are trending in @@NAME@@, with people of all ages keen to emulate the snow-white gleam beloved of United Federation movie stars and gameshow hosts.

OPTION 1 - CAPITALIST
"Things have never looked so bright," observes your fashionable Minister for the Interior, who has a blinding smile. "Consumer activity drives economic growth, and we all look great for it. @@LEADER@@, you should get your teeth whitened with one of these kits. People will notice for sure and you'll be promoting a growth industry at zero cost to the Treasury!"

OUTCOME:
tourists always wear sunglasses when visiting @@NAME@@

OPTION 1 - SOCIALIST
"Why should the capitalists be the ones with the best looking teeth?" asks your fashionable Minister for the Interior, who has a blinding smile. "The best way to let the Red Star shine is if our nation has the whitest teeth! @@LEADER@@, you should have the state offer teeth-whitening to all of our people. The future is bright!"

OUTCOME:
tourists always wear sunglasses when visiting @@NAME@@

OPTION 2 - CAPITALIST
"Whitening is a good thing, but these home kits are potentially dangerous!" moans cosmetic dentist Dr. Luke Ingfresh. "For the sake of dental health you should restrict these items to qualified professionals, who can carry out these delicate procedures. Besides, if everyone can afford teeth whitening, then where would the prestige be? Isn't the point of looking good to stand out from the crowd?"

OUTCOME:
wealthy neighbourhoods are noticeably whiter

OPTION 2 - SOCIALIST
"A properly planned economy shouldn't be wasting money on trivialities," snaps Party Sub-director Luke Ingdown. "However, perhaps whitening could be offered as a perk to senior Party members, as an incentive for good performance. If only a few get teeth whitening, then we create prestige, and encourage all to give their best in the service of the state."

OUTCOME:
societal status can be estimated by how badly someone's breath smells like bleach

OPTION 3 - CAPITALIST
"Teeth aren't meant to be white, you know that, right cats?" croons visiting Albionian diplomat and wonky-toothed international man of mystery Ostrich Powers. "Sexy doesn't come from making yourself look like some perfect standard of straight white teeth and perfect hair. Real sexiness comes from confidence, and inner mojo. You should stop people whitening at all, close all the silly bleaching shops down. Yeah, baby! Yeah!"

OUTCOME:
foreigners who take @@DEMONYM@@ lovers often comment on their unforgettable smiles

OPTION 3 - SOCIALIST
"Perhaps it is the case that teeth are not meant to be white?" observes acclaimed novelist Theodore Dusty F. Ski. "Perhaps teeth that are the colour of teeth are intrinsic to our national identity. Maybe even in toothache there is enjoyment -- a contumacious intricacy that we may wail against in secret voluptuous joy. Let this obsession of self-perception be diluted, and let bleaching cease at once, and let us learn self-respect without self-adulation."

OUTCOME:
foreigners who take @@DEMONYM@@ lovers often comment on their unforgettable smiles

OPTION 4
"Why do we always say white is good?" asks eloquent former boxing champion Cassius Ali, holding up his black hands questioningly. "They got White Swan soap, White Cloud tissue paper, White Tornado floor wax. Snow White is white, Santa is white. But the black cat is bad luck. Blackmail is bad. Maybe you got to ask yourself, what's up with your country when you think white teeth are better than teeth-coloured teeth? Maybe start there, with the obsession with whiteness. Maybe talk to the kids, teach them to think differently, to use words differently. Maybe this whole thing is bigger than teeth."

OUTCOME:
dark days are ahead and that's a good thing


DRAFT 1:
TITLE:
Oral Traditions

VALIDITY:
Body modification not banned, Capitalism

DESCRIPTION:
Home tooth-whitening kits -- based on peroxide bleach -- are trending in @@NAME@@, with people of all ages seeking to emulate the snow-white gleam beloved of movie stars and gameshow hosts.

OPTION 1
"Things have never looked so bright," observes your fashionable Minister for the Interior, who has a blinding smile. "Consumer activity drives economic growth, and we all look great for it. @@LEADER@@, you should get your teeth whitened with one of these kits. People will notice for sure and you'll be promoting a growth industry at zero cost to the Treasury!"

OUTCOME:
tourists always wear sunglasses when visiting @@NAME@@

OPTION 2
"Whitening is a good thing, but these home kits are potentially dangerous!" moans cosmetic dentist Dr. Luke Ingfresh. "For the sake of dental health you should restrict these items to qualified professionals, who can carry out these delicate procedures. Besides, if everyone can afford teeth whitening, then where would the prestige be? Isn't the point of looking good to stand out from the crowd?"

OUTCOME:
social status can be estimated by how badly someone's breath smells like bleach

(possible alternate line if we think its okay: wealthy neighbourhoods are noticeably whiter)

OPTION 3
"Teeth aren't meant to be white, you know that, right cats?" croons visiting Albionian diplomat and wonky-toothed international man of mystery Ostrich Powers. "Sexy doesn't come from making yourself look like some perfect standard of straight white teeth and perfect hair. Real sexiness comes from confidence, and inner mojo. You should stop people whitening at all, close all the silly bleaching shops down. Yeah, baby! Yeah!"

OUTCOME:
foreigners who take @@DEMONYM@@ lovers often comment on their unforgettable smiles

OPTION 4
"Why do we always say white is good?" asks eloquent former boxing champion Cassius Ali, holding up his black hands questioningly. "They got White Swan soap, White Cloud tissue paper, White Tornado floor wax. Snow White is white, Santa is white. But the black cat is bad luck. Blackmail is bad. Maybe you got to ask yourself, what's up with your country when you think white teeth are better than teeth-coloured teeth? Maybe start there, with the obsession with whiteness. Maybe talk to the kids, teach them to think differently, to use words differently. Maybe this whole thing is bigger than teeth."

OUTCOME:
dark days are ahead and that's a good thing
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Wed Jul 15, 2020 5:11 am, edited 11 times in total.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

User avatar
Honeydewistania
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1251
Founded: Jun 09, 2017
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Honeydewistania » Tue Jul 14, 2020 5:41 am

Is Albionian British, NSFied?
Honeydewistania

Regional Military Director of Lazarus
Posts OOC unless marked otherwise.
Ambassador to the WA: Benji Hepperle

The MT Army Warrior
Biggest acheivement: Spelling
GA#494 "Regulating Desalination"
GA#498 "Ban on Forced Blood Sports"
GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"

SC#315 "Commend Vippertooth33"

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21620
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 14, 2020 6:01 am

Honeydewistania wrote:Is Albionian British, NSFied?


Yeah, Albionia was added in a recent issue.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Tue Jul 14, 2020 6:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

User avatar
Honeydewistania
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1251
Founded: Jun 09, 2017
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Honeydewistania » Tue Jul 14, 2020 6:02 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
Honeydewistania wrote:Is Albionian British, NSFied?


Yeah, Albionia was added in a recent issue.

Thanks for the clarification.

I think the issue looks good, and effect line two and option four are hilarious. You should include them.
Honeydewistania

Regional Military Director of Lazarus
Posts OOC unless marked otherwise.
Ambassador to the WA: Benji Hepperle

The MT Army Warrior
Biggest acheivement: Spelling
GA#494 "Regulating Desalination"
GA#498 "Ban on Forced Blood Sports"
GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"

SC#315 "Commend Vippertooth33"

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21620
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 14, 2020 6:05 am

Honeydewistania wrote:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
Yeah, Albionia was added in a recent issue.

Thanks for the clarification.

I think the issue looks good, and effect line two and option four are hilarious. You should include them.


I tweaked them already, and did so in draft 1.

For context, effect line 2 before I changed it was "wealthy neighbourhoods are noticeably whiter".

I'll add that back in as an alternate line.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

User avatar
Honeydewistania
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1251
Founded: Jun 09, 2017
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Honeydewistania » Tue Jul 14, 2020 6:08 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
Honeydewistania wrote:Thanks for the clarification.

I think the issue looks good, and effect line two and option four are hilarious. You should include them.


I tweaked them already, and did so in draft 1.

For context, effect line 2 before I changed it was "wealthy neighbourhoods are noticeably whiter".

I'll add that back in as an alternate line.

Yea I was talking about the original effect line :)
Honeydewistania

Regional Military Director of Lazarus
Posts OOC unless marked otherwise.
Ambassador to the WA: Benji Hepperle

The MT Army Warrior
Biggest acheivement: Spelling
GA#494 "Regulating Desalination"
GA#498 "Ban on Forced Blood Sports"
GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"

SC#315 "Commend Vippertooth33"

User avatar
SherpDaWerp
Diplomat
 
Posts: 734
Founded: Mar 02, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Tue Jul 14, 2020 6:18 pm

I feel like the Capitalism validity is a bit unnecessary. Private companies aren't core to the dilemma; it's more about the health aspect of tooth whitening.

An issue about tooth whitening would work just as well in a Socialist nation, so it just seems unnecessary for this issue to cut them out. A rewrite or doppelganger of Option 1 would sidestep this problem entirely.

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21620
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 15, 2020 4:52 am

SherpDaWerp wrote:I feel like the Capitalism validity is a bit unnecessary. Private companies aren't core to the dilemma; it's more about the health aspect of tooth whitening.

An issue about tooth whitening would work just as well in a Socialist nation, so it just seems unnecessary for this issue to cut them out. A rewrite or doppelganger of Option 1 would sidestep this problem entirely.


I strongly considered that, and thought about a option 1 doppelganger.

However, I felt that with a socialist nation the framing becomes very different -- people are less inclined to emulate celebrity fashion, the consumerist drive isn't there, dentists want less work rather than more, and "bleaching shops" probably wouldn't exist.

It's not that you can't have an issue about teeth whitening in a socialist nation, more that the narrative would be entirely different. It'd be more along the lines of:

Premise: Teeth-whitening, beloved of decadent movie stars and pop stars in capitalist nations, is trending in @@NAME@@.
1: Why should the Imperialists have better teeth than us? Offer state-funded whitening to all.
2: Or maybe, whitening should be a reward for good service, for senior Party members only. It will give ambitious young folk something to work towards.
3: Maybe we shouldn't be looking to emulate the capitalists. Good tannin-stained brown teeth are a sign of an honest working class hero. Ban whitening.
4: (same)

I could certainly go that way with doppelgangers for options 1-3, and reframe the issue to be based on the influence of United Federation movie stars though... Hmm.

Will consider it.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21620
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 15, 2020 5:13 am

Okay, yeah, you sold me on it. On playing around with options I had such fun mimicking Dostoevsky that it seemed a shame not to use.

New version up with a parallel but ultimately completely different socialist version.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Wed Jul 15, 2020 5:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

User avatar
Graintfjall
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 131
Founded: Jun 30, 2020
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Graintfjall » Wed Jul 15, 2020 5:20 am

Is the racial stuff really associated with teethwhitening? Skinbleaching, sure. But I've never heard of that association IRL with teethwhitening (if anything, grotesque racial stereotypes tended to portray black people with big white smiles). I'm not sure it's the best fit for this issue, even if I could see it fitting well in an issue on skinbleaching.

My 2 cents as a clueless white dude.
Last edited by Graintfjall on Wed Jul 15, 2020 5:20 am, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8735
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Wed Jul 15, 2020 5:31 am

Graintfjall wrote:Is the racial stuff really associated with teethwhitening?
Only by the kinds of crazy people who find their way into final options of NationStates issues.

There do seem to be real-life people who claim that pretty much any word with "white" or "black" in it is racist. Lately I read about a serious controversy over the use of the word "blacklist".

User avatar
Honeydewistania
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1251
Founded: Jun 09, 2017
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Honeydewistania » Wed Jul 15, 2020 5:33 am

Graintfjall wrote:Is the racial stuff really associated with teethwhitening? Skinbleaching, sure. But I've never heard of that association IRL with teethwhitening (if anything, grotesque racial stereotypes tended to portray black people with big white smiles). I'm not sure it's the best fit for this issue, even if I could see it fitting well in an issue on skinbleaching.

My 2 cents as a clueless white dude.

I think it’s just the usual ‘crazy option’ in issues.
Honeydewistania

Regional Military Director of Lazarus
Posts OOC unless marked otherwise.
Ambassador to the WA: Benji Hepperle

The MT Army Warrior
Biggest acheivement: Spelling
GA#494 "Regulating Desalination"
GA#498 "Ban on Forced Blood Sports"
GA#502 Repeal "Freedom to Seek Medical Care II"

SC#315 "Commend Vippertooth33"

User avatar
Graintfjall
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 131
Founded: Jun 30, 2020
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Graintfjall » Wed Jul 15, 2020 5:47 am

Trotterdam wrote:
Graintfjall wrote:Is the racial stuff really associated with teethwhitening?
Only by the kinds of crazy people who find their way into final options of NationStates issues.

There do seem to be real-life people who claim that pretty much any word with "white" or "black" in it is racist. Lately I read about a serious controversy over the use of the word "blacklist".

Yeah (the debate over tech terms like "master"/"slave", too, might make for a fun issue in their own right); I was just thinking it seems a bit out-of-left-field for this issue.

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21620
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:17 am

Trotterdam wrote:
Graintfjall wrote:Is the racial stuff really associated with teethwhitening?
Only by the kinds of crazy people who find their way into final options of NationStates issues.

There do seem to be real-life people who claim that pretty much any word with "white" or "black" in it is racist. Lately I read about a serious controversy over the use of the word "blacklist".


Eh, positions may vary, but the option is lifted heavily from the famous Mohammed Ali interview, which is often circulated amongst POC as a great and charismatic summary of subconscious colour biases that people have.

As a POC myself, I admit its the option that resonates most with my own position on this. Skin bleaching is a more obvious example, for sure, but attaching it to an issue about teeth-whitening both broadens the conversation, and introduces an element of ridiculousness that makes it gentle (but sympathetic) satire of the position.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

User avatar
Graintfjall
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 131
Founded: Jun 30, 2020
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Graintfjall » Fri Jul 17, 2020 6:03 am

I will, for obvious reasons, defer to your judgment on that, then. :)

I like the effect lines.

User avatar
La xinga
Minister
 
Posts: 2446
Founded: Jul 12, 2019
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby La xinga » Fri Jul 17, 2020 6:06 am

This seems.......similar to that issue where people wanted to stick fluoride into drinking water, but I never got an issue through, and you edited dozens, so you decide.
He created everything, and he was forever and will always be. He is perfect and his word is always true. He will never change his word, and YOU would not be reading this signature if it was not for the Almighty to allow your eyes to see!
Radical religious person. Nothing collided with nothing, the Almighty did everything, and the world is 5780 years old. It's true. Deal with it.
No, please don't argue! I'm innocent!

Yes, we may too, may all of us be innocent.

Unless you're not...

WAMP WAMP!
If you support capitalism, put this in your signature.
Hi, The east pacific!
GLORIOUS AMERICANIUM IMPERIUM!
Creationist, pro-life, straight.
ALL LIVES MATTER!

And Marrabuk said to Lerasi...........

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21620
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Jul 17, 2020 9:18 am

Other than teeth being involved, I'm not really seeing it... Happy to take opinions on it though.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

User avatar
Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8735
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Fri Jul 17, 2020 1:42 pm

Yeah, I don't really see a similarity, except maybe one of the effect lines (which has been noted before to be inaccurate).

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20707
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Jul 18, 2020 5:50 am

Why is leader obligated to the ride the wave one specific product which happens to be trending right now? Will he do this for all products?
From Greek Ansestry Orthodox Christian
17 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution
This account is fictious. Any In-Character posts made by this account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21620
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 21, 2020 6:51 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Why is leader obligated to the ride the wave one specific product which happens to be trending right now? Will he do this for all products?


I see your point. I guess leaders who find the trend beneath their notice could reach for the dismiss button.

I guess my idea why its an Issue is because it represents deeper questions. Just like "Must be a Full Moon" is not just about mooning, but rather its about (dis)respect shown to authority, and how you respond to that. This one's about artificial ideals of beauty, and the culture underlying that.


Trotterdam wrote:Yeah, I don't really see a similarity, except maybe one of the effect lines (which has been noted before to be inaccurate).


Huh, you're right. Though inaccurate in that issue rather than in this one. I'll propose a fix backstage.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Tue Jul 21, 2020 6:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people


Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to Got Issues?

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Advertisement

Remove ads