Græntfjall Domestic Sports Thread

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Græntfjall Domestic Sports Thread

Postby Graintfjall » Mon Jul 06, 2020 3:08 am

Last edited by Graintfjall on Mon Jul 06, 2020 4:33 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Field hockey

Postby Graintfjall » Mon Jul 06, 2020 3:09 am

   Græntfjall Main Class    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
1 Putzendorf 22 16 5 1 42 13 +29 53
2 Lammedal 22 16 2 4 63 27 +36 50
3 Maigburg 22 15 5 2 72 38 +34 50
4 Kochhavn 22 12 4 6 28 20 +8 40
5 Reschensreppur 22 12 3 7 47 32 +15 39
6 Gramar 22 9 5 8 34 36 −2 32

7 Goesberg 22 7 5 10 24 30 −6 26
8 Notschach 22 5 4 13 14 25 −11 19
9 Molding 22 5 2 15 20 40 −20 17
10 Lohrreith 22 5 2 15 30 52 −22 17

11 Pichika 22 3 7 12 21 39 −18 16
12 Schwakirchen 22 4 2 16 17 60 −43 14

Relegation Play-Offs

Lohrreith 1–0 Ostholm
Pichika 4–0 Paschvík


Putzendorf 1–0 Kochhavn
Lammedal 7–1 Maigburg


Maigburg 1–1 Kochhavn (1–2 AET)


Putzendorf 1–1 Lammedal (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Last edited by Graintfjall on Mon Jul 06, 2020 3:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Water polo

Postby Graintfjall » Mon Jul 06, 2020 3:14 am

Græntfjall Super Cup

First Round

Reschensreppur 10–6 Gunzlach
Voleln 11–8 Laafjörður
Gerstungal 6–7 Haafberg
Mühlrich 16–7 Wimhavn
Gramar 11–5 Kyrkdorf
Hofvinger 8–5 Edlidolz
Frederiksfahrn 8–11 Waltenberg
Þingsnitz 7–6 Ostholm


Reschensreppur 7–13 Voleln
Haafberg 8–8 Mühlrich (9–12 OT)
Gramar 6–7 Hofvinger
Waltenberg 11–1 Þingsnitz


Voleln 4–8 Mühlrich
Hofvinger 9–8 Waltenberg


Mühlrich 8–13 Hofvinger

Græntfjall Championship

  Group A               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Reschensreppur 14 13 0 1 141 85 +56 39
2 Voleln 14 10 1 3 142 96 +46 31
3 Gramar 14 8 2 4 121 104 +17 26
4 Haafberg 14 8 0 6 112 102 +10 24

5 Waltenberg 14 4 3 7 116 131 −15 15
6 Kyrkdorf 14 4 2 8 107 118 −11 14
7 Ostholm 14 2 1 11 102 131 −29 7
8 Frederiksfahrn 14 2 1 11 76 150 −74 7

  Group B               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Mühlrich 14 12 1 1 129 83 +46 37
2 Hofvinger 14 12 1 1 126 88 +38 37
3 Edlidolz 14 8 2 4 135 94 +41 26
4 Laafjörður 14 6 2 6 102 108 −6 20

5 Gunzlach 14 4 3 7 104 118 −14 15
6 Wimhavn 14 2 5 7 93 112 −19 11
7 Gerstungal 14 2 2 10 92 118 −26 8
8 Þingsnitz 14 0 4 10 86 146 −60 4

  Relegation Group      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Waltenberg 14 11 2 1 145 92 +53 35
2 Gunzlach 14 8 1 5 126 108 +18 25
3 Kyrkdorf 14 8 1 5 120 106 +14 25
4 Ostholm 14 6 2 6 116 115 +1 20

5 Frederiksfahrn 14 5 3 6 102 110 −8 18
6 Wimhavn 14 5 2 7 106 114 −8 17
7 Gerstungal 14 4 1 9 98 133 −35 13
8 Þingsnitz 14 2 2 10 83 118 −35 8

  Championship Group    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Mühlrich 14 11 1 2 125 105 +20 34
2 Hofvinger 14 9 2 3 122 99 +23 29
3 Voleln 14 7 2 5 125 118 +7 23
4 Reschensreppur 14 7 0 7 116 115 +1 21

5 Edlidolz 14 6 0 8 114 114 0 18
6 Gramar 14 5 2 7 114 116 −2 17
7 Laafjörður 14 5 0 9 108 129 −21 15
8 Haafberg 14 1 3 10 97 125 −28 6

Placement Matches (best of 5)

Edlidolz 3–1 Haafberg
Gramar 3–1 Laafjörður
Waltenberg 3–0 Ostholm
Gunzlach 2–3 Kyrkdorf
Frederiksfahrn 0–3 Þingsnitz
Wimhavn 1–2 Gerstungal

Semi-Finals (best of 5)

Mühlrich 2–3 Reschensreppur
Hofvinger 3–2 Voleln

Placement Playoffs (best of 3)

Mühlrich 2–0 Voleln
Edlidolz 2–1 Gramar
Haafberg 2–0 Laafjörður
Waltenberg 2–0 Kyrkdorf
Ostholm 2–0 Gunzlach
Þingsnitz 1–2 Gerstungal
Frederiksfahrn 1–2 Wimhavn

Finals (best of 5)

Reschensreppur 1–3 Hofvinger
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Postby Graintfjall » Mon Jul 06, 2020 4:32 am

   Græntfjall Handball League  Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Steinaux 26 18 1 7 726 667 +59 37
2 Haafberg 26 16 3 7 701 645 +56 35

3 Reschensreppur 26 15 3 8 710 653 +57 33
4 Þingsnitz 26 13 5 8 680 669 +11 31
5 Tuldam 26 13 5 8 672 663 +9 31
6 Lengschach 26 14 2 10 680 678 +2 30
7 Lehberg 26 12 3 11 682 652 +30 27
8 Hintersfjörður 26 11 3 12 716 698 +18 25
9 Væggerfried 26 10 4 12 652 667 −15 24
10 Pichika 26 10 4 12 667 683 −16 24
11 Gunzlach 26 10 2 14 658 684 −26 22
12 Diepoldsburg 26 8 1 17 671 730 −59 17
13 Frederiksfahrn 26 7 2 17 657 710 −53 16
14 Molding 26 5 2 19 649 722 −73 12

Finals (best of 3)

Steinaux 2–1 Haafberg

   Græntfjall Handball League II  Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Kirchmegen 26 20 0 6 710 626 +84 40
2 Schudvík 26 18 2 6 739 646 +93 38
3 Griesberg 26 14 7 5 704 646 +58 35
4 Laafjörður 26 15 3 8 683 671 +12 33
5 Gründorf 26 15 0 11 698 683 +15 30
6 Harmersgrunn 26 12 3 11 675 666 +9 27
7 Vildkappel 26 11 3 12 669 715 −46 25
8 Laitwinkl 26 11 1 14 696 690 +6 23
9 Edlidolz 26 10 3 13 676 693 −17 23
10 Lohrreith 26 9 4 13 658 682 −24 22
11 Paschvík 26 8 5 13 655 670 −15 21
12 Bezingen 26 10 1 15 655 687 −32 21
13 Voleln 26 6 2 18 656 724 −68 14
14 Ostholm 26 4 4 18 635 710 −75 12

   Græntfjall Handball League B  Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Järvendorf 26 20 3 3 771 655 +116 43
2 Lammedal 26 16 4 6 731 638 +93 36
3 Schwakirchen 26 17 1 8 726 670 +56 35
4 Hofvinger 26 16 2 8 704 647 +57 34
5 Kochhavn 26 15 2 9 706 687 +19 32
6 Gerstungtal 26 13 4 9 686 673 +13 30
7 Mühlrich 26 14 0 12 695 686 +9 28
8 Folte 26 12 3 11 690 688 +2 27
9 Notschach 26 11 3 12 701 691 +10 25
10 Korsbach 26 9 3 14 647 686 −39 21
11 Estdal 26 7 3 16 652 705 −53 17
12 Nordmarksdorf 26 6 0 20 661 725 −64 12
13 Ilsburg 26 5 2 19 640 747 −107 12
14 Altendalur 26 4 4 18 635 747 −112 12

Græntfjall Handball Cup

First Round

Voleln 23–24 Fliserboding
Altendalur 25–21 Haderhavn
Akurgarten 23–24 Hagejoki
Tromskowitz 29–23 Kuodorf
Gramar 28–29 Goesberg
Gstockmäki 24–25 Kyrkdorf

Second Round

Bezingen 19–22 Lohrreith
Laafjörður 31–29 Altendalur
Folte 24–27 Nordmarksdorf
Griesberg 29–32 Schudvík
Laitwinkl 31–24 Goesberg
Gründorf 24–23 Tromskowitz
Harmersgrunn 29–24 Edlidolz
Kirchmegen 22–20 Hagejoki
Kyrkdorf 21–32 Mühlrich
Schwakirchen 31–32 Kochhavn
Korsbach 23–30 Lammedal
Fliserboding 29–29 Ilsburg (31–33 AET)
Gerstungtal 27–23 Paschvík
Notschach 22–25 Hofvinger
Estdal 35–22 Ostholm
Järvendorf 24–21 Vildkappel

Third Round

Kirchmegen 37–19 Harmersgrunn
Schudvík 29–30 Laitwinkl
Gründorf 24–29 Lammedal
Ilsburg 29–27 Gerstungtal
Lohrreith 23–24 Nordmarksdorf
Estdal 24–33 Laafjörður
Kochhavn 23–35 Järvendorf
Hofvinger 32–21 Mühlrich

Fourth Round

Lammedal 23–33 Pichika
Laafjörður 21–35 Væggerfried
Hofvinger 23–31 Molding
Hintersfjörður 33–28 Laitwinkl
Nordmarksdorf 22–29 Lengschach
Diepoldsburg 25–23 Järvendorf
Gunzlach 25–30 Kirchmegen
Frederiksfahrn 24–24 Ilsburg (28–27 AET)

Fifth Round

Þingsnitz 29–24 Frederiksfahrn
Lehberg 21–29 Pichika
Lengschach 21–33 Tuldam
Diepoldsburg 27–23 Væggerfried
Hintersfjörður 29–22 Molding
Haafberg 28–29 Kirchmegen


Steinaux 29–27 Kirchmegen
Þingsnitz 28–32 Diepoldsburg
Hintersfjörður 27–27 Tuldam (32–33 AET)
Pichika 19–26 Reschensreppur


Steinaux 24–26 Diepoldsburg
Reschensreppur 28–26 Tuldam


Steinaux 23–22 Tuldam


Diepoldsburg 31–22 Reschensreppur
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Postby Graintfjall » Thu Sep 03, 2020 6:39 pm

Græntfjall Premier League team previews


Last season:
  • League: 3rd
  • Cup: 2nd Round
  • International: IFCF Challengers’ Cup 2nd Preliminary Round
  • MVP: Alexander Leonardsson
The Chessmen [and -women, although Altendalur has one of the more conservative fan bases in that regard] are standard bearers for western football, and hold just the tiniest chip on their collective shoulder about perceived slighting by Háttmark sports media who can’t read past ‘2nd’ on the results table. Just a tiny chip, about as tiny as the whale spine that mounts the gates over their home arena, the Florus Stadion.

Unlike some of the multi-sports clubs juggling multiple teams, trying to compete in ice hockey or handball alongside their footballing ambitions, Altendalur have a complete focus on football. Helping to sharpen that focus has been the investment of insurance giant Florus, with a purpose-built new arena and a stats team as they’ve become the first Græntfjaller side to engage with modern ‘soccermetric’ analysis. The team has a loyal fan base who, while not entirely happy with some of these changes, won’t complain so long as the team is competing for a top four spot or at least knocking some spots off the hated Háttmark sides.

Altendalur were the most active side in the recent transfer window and can now field more foreign players than any other Græntfjaller side. They might not exactly be household names, but it’s a sign of a desire not to rest on the laurels of a season in which they finished a point off second place. The biggest transfer move, however, is arguably their failure to hold on to national team goalkeeper Alexander Leonardsson, who has instantly acquired the status of a Judas Iscariot for skipping off to Gunzlach. Working class and traditional, Altendalur ultras will not easily forgive and definitely never forget such betrayal.

Led by Auno Laurinsson, who – still in his 40s and, perhaps more importantly, not part of the Gunzlach–Steinaux rivalry – has been tipped as a future NT manager, for all their innovations and transfers the team is likely to put out a fairly traditional 4–4–2. Leonardsson’s not inconsiderable absence will be felt, but the team has quality players including NT revelations left wing-back Ásgautur Johannesson and right wing Andrin Franklínsson. Their aim will be to challenge for the top spot, or at very least to break up the Háttmark duopoly on the top two.

Manager: Auno Laurinsson

  • Goalkeepers: Thomas Quinnipag [ZWZ], Riccardo Ludvigsson, Rebecca Ludvigsdóttir
  • Defenders: Ásgautur Johannesson, Alessia Akselsdóttir, Norðmann Bertisson, Thorn Tristram [NPH], Tom Ernestisson, Mario Haraldsson, Kimo Arhippasson, Heba Þjálfisdóttir
  • Midfielders: Hanna Nicosdóttir, Ryan Lippe-Berg [ZWZ], Tyler Prentice [KSK], Andrin Franklínsson, Christian Berentsson, Benedikt Nilsson
  • Forwards: Joen Aðalmundursson, Darren Hunt [FVA], Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir, Poul Simonsson


Last season:
  • League: 10th
  • Cup: 2nd Round
  • International: N/A
  • MVP: Justiina Dannysdóttir
Estdal enter the season as the lowest ranked side not to have been relegated, and have just lost by far their best player, no. 10 forward Justiina Dannysdóttir, who’s joined Steinaux to pursue loftier ambitions that just avoiding relegation. They have no national team players, no international players. No hope? Enter Cayo Punta, maverick Farf manager who has promised to shake things up with an attacking philosophy and a more energetic touchline presence than is typical among Græntfjall’s rather staid managers.

One of the few entries in the column of Estdal’s positives is the deep pockets of main sponsor, Skoðar Optik, an industrial conglomerate chiefly notable for manufacturing precision glass instruments. In an act of either shrewd investment or utterly ridiculous optimism, they’re investing to modernize the team’s arena – for the duration of the season, the Ducks will play at the home ground of nearby Oost-Hartburg, whose own relegation fears could mean one stadium plays host to twice the tears come season’s end. The team also has a well-regarded youth complex and more than half the squad are under the age of 24.

Money in the bank and antics on the sideline are all very well, but will it translate to any success on the field? Fabian Lukasson will need to step up – with Justiina Dannysdóttir gone, he’ll need to direct play from an attacking midfield position. Speed is the team’s strength, with wingers Else Sofussdóttir Robin Harrysson tearing up and down the field. Defensively, they look a bit suspect. Álfar Brunosson made some amazing saves last season, and also some hilarious blunders. Their best bet is going to be trying to outscore the opposition quickly before the other team notices they’re just not very good.

Manager: Cayo Punta [FFD]

  • Goalkeepers: Álfar Brunosson, Sumarlína Svangeirsdóttir, Stig Michaelsson
  • Defenders: Trine Matheosdóttir, Spartakus Markusson, Johan Hervinsson, Jalmari Lukasson, Keld Juliansson, Anders Fabiansson, Eduard Endosson
  • Midfielders: Ragierdh Floriansdóttir, Erna Sunesdóttir, Signe Benidiktsdóttir, Hartvig Arthursson, Fabian Lukasson, Sveinbjörn Ogmundsson, Klængur Stefansson
  • Forwards: Nikolai Jalmarisson, Rato Guðmannsson, Robin Harrysson, Else Sofussdóttir, Sigrid Fabiansdóttir


Last season:
  • League: 1st [Division 1]
  • Cup: 1st Round
  • International: IFCF Liga B Champions Trophy 3rd Preliminary Round
  • MVP: Jade Miansdóttir
Fliserboding were so vastly superior in Division 1 this season that it makes it a little difficult to tell how they’ll adapt to the Premier League. The club has deep roots in the southwest, with a small but passionately loyal fan base who insist on throwing cabbages onto the field before games; attempts by sponsor Garðabank, the commercial banking arm of financial services conglomerate Garðasteig, to modernize the club’s image by banning the practice resulted in the company’s headquarters having 50,000 cabbages dumped in the lobby by irate fans. They have since quietly scaled back the policy, and bought a bunch of air freshener.

Playing at the Frei Stadion, a small but suitably modern multi-sport arena chiefly famous (aside from the terrible smell of rotting cabbage) for hosting the first ever sub-4 minute mile run by a Græntfjaller runner. A small plaque commemorates the event, alongside a much larger one celebrating last season’s promotion. They are the only southwestern team in the Premier League, however, and with Þingsnitz languishing in Division 1, their traditional derby is for the moment purely a notional affair.

The Locusts have some good players. Christian Einvarðursson is an experienced goal-keeper, Fabian Nilsson a well-travelled journeyman on his fourth club, Viktor Leonardsson a reliable goal scorer. But the undoubted sensation of the team is midfielder Sara Kristoffersdóttir, who at just 16 earned a national team call-up. It didn’t go entirely successfully – her appearances off the bench were limited, and though her spectacular Goal of the Tournament contender at the Olympics will live long in the memory, her impact otherwise was pretty limited. All the better for Fliserboding, fans mutter, who can probably enjoy her undivided attention for another year or two before a repeat call-up comes.

Kristoffersdóttir can play anywhere, but her preferred position is just in front of a reliable (and, uniquely among GPL teams, all-female) midfield 4 as the chief weapon in a 3 –4–1–2 formation.

Manager: Vidar Samuelesson

  • Goalkeepers: Christian Einvarðursson, Ingibjorg Tuesdóttir, Kellý Urbansdóttir
  • Defenders: Ingeborg Adamsdóttir, Árnína Bensdóttir, Magnþór Dannysson, Fabian Nilsson, Muni Martinsson, Ben Dalmarsson
  • Midfielders: Sara Kristoffersdóttir, Sara Aðalsteinnsdóttir, Jade Miansdóttir, Rebecca Attesdóttir, Raja Arthursdóttir, Göpf Lyngarsson, Kristo Matteosson, Ebba Thorbjørnsdóttir, Sigurbára Erwinsdóttir
  • Forwards: Ketilbjörg Mathiassdóttir, Viktor Leonardsson, Fie Philipsdóttir, Clemens Akusson, Fabio Freddysson


Last season:
  • League: 6th
  • Cup: 1st Round
  • International: N/A
  • MVP: Stina Ebbesdóttir
Dramatic managerial changes were rare in Græntfjaller football, probably because of the lack of stakes in the absence of international competition. With the difference between 4th and a formerly respectable 6th now yawning IFCF-wide, though, Folte gave the boot to Michael Samuelesson and put out the call for an international manager. The process took longer than expected and they ended up being scooped by Molding to become the first club to hire a foreign manager in GPL history, but they got their man all the same, the 41-year old Quang from South Newlandia.

It may be that fear of mid-table mediocrity that has shaken things up, because the Striders were not a bad team last season. They won more than they lost, scored more than they conceded, and ended up furnishing half of the national team’s defensive line, through Ralf Álfarsson and Emeli Vilbertsdóttir. David Jimsson also got a call-up but looked less comfortable at international level and was quietly dropped by the time World Cup qualifying rolled around; Lara Auðunsdóttir excelled for the women’s Olympic team and might make the full national team in time.

The OptiFone Arena is well attended, the team has numerous strong players, and their 5–3–2 system, while outwardly conservative, made good use of their fast wing-backs to exploit the counter-attack against bigger, slower teams. They’re fit and strong. They even have one of the more distinctive kits among a sea of rather less competent offerings that I slaved over for hours in MS Paint so stfu. And yet their record suggests performances slightly less than the sum of their parts. They lack a singular inspirational dynamo to spark off. They’re basically as bland as the answer to “who are the sixth best team in Græntfjall?” would suggest.

Manager: Marius Quang [SNL]

  • Goalkeepers: Arve Timsson, Emmely Aaronsdóttir, Valentin Raphaelsson
  • Defenders: Gregor Olofsson, Arnold Tronsson, Ralf Álfarsson, Emeli Vilbertsdóttir, Friedolin Leonardsson, Gestur Torsteinsson, Stefan Jokulsson, Helene Feykirsdóttir
  • Midfielders: David Jimsson, Samuel Arthursson, Stina Ebbesdóttir, Amelia Ibsdóttir, Johanna Álvgeirsdóttir, Kolbjörg Árgeirsdóttir, Linda Federicosdóttir
  • Forwards: Fredrik Aaronsson, Lara Auðunsdóttir, Herfinnur Fabiansson, Maria Unndórsdóttir


Last season:
  • League: 1st
  • Cup: 1st Round
  • International: IFCF Champions’ League Extra Preliminary Round; IFCF Challengers’ Cup Second Preliminary Round; Copa de Campeones Preliminary Round
  • MVP: Jason Þórhallursson
Gunzlach are a team of superlatives. They are the most expensive, most high profile, most seethingly hated team in the country, outside one little north Háttmark suburb, where they are, quite simply, the best. Amply funded by gauche internet giant Qardinal (god, even the name of their sponsor is annoying), Gunzlach Multi Sports Club have risen from their origins as a working class, fan-owned team of the city’s building trade, to become the closest thing to a footballing one-eyed-man in a country of, relatively speaking, the blind.

The innovative strategy of actually paying players rather than leaning on fond memories of youth club table tennis tournaments to retain prospects has yielded some outstanding results, with Josef Christiansson, Gabríel Svennsson, and Lana Mensdóttir among those lovingly developed by rival clubs then plucked when ripe by Gunzlach scouts. Ironically, then, Jason Þórhallursson, the club’s supreme talent, striker, golden boot winner, and virtual national hero following his Baptism of Fire hat-trick, actually is a home-grown talent, having been brought up in council housing literally within the shadow of the old club ground.

Of course, the team doesn’t play there any more. They now boast the Grand National Arena as their own, a stadium that dwarfs any other on the domestic circuit. And, with their latest domestic acquisition – NT goalkeeper Alexander Leonardsson – on board, they’ve begun filling it with foreign talent, too.

Gunzlach’s ambitions are pretty straightforward. Win, again. Do slightly better than the utter drubbings they experienced in their first taste of IFCF football. Acquire more talent, until every Græntfjaller footballer of note is playing in the red-white-and-black. And, failing all of that, just beat the shit out of Steinaux, and the Gunners will undoubtedly go home happy.

Manager: Lars Hartmannsson

  • Goalkeepers: Alexander Leonardsson, Dagur Mímirsson, Florentina Kjartansdóttir
  • Defenders: Johannes Gilgiansson, Else Svennsdóttir, Matthias Parmesson, Josef Christiansson, Chris Fornisson, Elberg Jimsson, Arinbjörg Björnsdóttir, Mjalldís Bóassdóttir
  • Midfielders: Lana Mensdóttir, Jiraff Wang [JOV], Antoni Savushnikov [SVJ], Jaida Bissette [HAN], Gabríel Svennsson, Grímólfur Viktorsson, Lukas Øivindsson, Marie Lennartsdóttir
  • Forwards: Jason Þórhallursson, Ebbe Leosson, Bianca Henrýsdóttir, Momoko Wakabayashi [HIN]


Last season:
  • League: 4th
  • Cup: QF
  • International: IFCF Challengers’ Cup Extra Preliminary Round
  • MVP: Lyngar Rögnvaldursson
Hofvinger are the most northerly club playing in the GPL, and bring a certain chilly disposition with them as a result. The winds howling around the TQG Langvöllur Arena, the baying wolf calls of the Northern Wolf ultras, and the dense banks of fog typically rolling in from the sea all make Hofvinger just about the least hospitable hosts in the GPL. They travel less well, claiming to dislike warm southern climes, which given mainland Græntfjall’s frigid climate really speaks as much to their inflexibility as anything.

All of which is perhaps just slightly more interesting than the team itself? The introduction of IFCF football to Græntfjall meant something; in Hofvinger’s case, it meant they now had everyone else snapping at their heels. Perhaps typically of a club led by defensively minded Noel Völundursson, their biggest moves in the transfer market were to pick up a new goalkeeper and bring in a defender on loan, completing the trifecta with the late snapping up of defensive midfielder Ketilbjörg Aunosdóttir. By contrast, Lyngar Rögnvaldursson cutting a long figure atop a 4–2–3–1 formation, receives little in the way of offensive support. Aunosdóttir, who tried to find an international team with no takers during the last transfer window, joins on a one-year contract to play alongside Hæming Tronsson and will probably leave – but if Hofvinger can get a good year out of her, it might be worth it.

Their ambitions aren’t title chasing as they just don’t have the offensive ammunition to compete with Gunzlach and Steinaux. Besides, deigning to rough it with the Háttmark sides would offend their icy northern sensibilities. But they received a huge TV ratings boost from their IFCF participation despite being eliminated at literally the first opportunity, and will want to qualify again to keep that money flowing. Beyond that, they’ll want to defend their arena’s reputation as a fortress and freeze, or just bore, any unwary visitors to death.

Manager: Noel Völundursson

  • Goalkeepers: Patrik Thörnqvist [FFD], Livia Bergmundursdóttir, Frederikke Guttisdóttir
  • Defenders: Per Marcsson, Zóphonías Jarlsson, Anaïs Mórisdóttir, Henning Svarthus [SVJ], Anne Davidsdóttir, Casper Josefsson, Marcel Úlftýrsson, Nick Benidiktsson, Elsa Simonsdóttir
  • Midfielders: Hæming Tronsson, David Marcsson, Simone Håvardsson, Valtter Marvinsson, Walo Constantinsson, Ketilbjörg Aunosdóttir, Jørn Martinsson, Dario Þórormursson
  • Forwards: Lyngar Rögnvaldursson, Mæja Allansdóttir, Elis Flemmingsson, Tue Guðlaugursson, Jori Kjellsson


Last season:
  • League: 8th
  • Cup: 1st Round
  • International: N/A
  • MVP: Ketilbjörg Aunosdóttir
The Sabres are something of the also-rans of Háttmark football. Not as glamorous or successful as Gunzlach or Steinaux, they nonetheless have a large following in the capital, collectively gathering around to poke them with a stick and urge them to just do something. Instead, Rakel Alvinsdóttir continued to pursue highly defensive tactics last season, which minimized their losses to the stronger teams but left them wallowing in that dead zone mid-table, with no danger of IFCF qualification. That was enough for their best player, defensive midfielder Ketilbjörg Aunosdóttir, to demand a transfer – and when, slightly embarrassingly for her, no offers came, a release.

Noah Urbansson looks to be a worthy replacement for Aunosdóttir at the heart of the 4–2–3–1 formation Alvinsdóttir rigidly sticks to. The team is fairly young, so there’s still time for them to develop more solid football skills, but last season they were heavily dependent on possession, fitness, and strength, to numb opposition defenses and break them on the counter. They don’t have many options beyond wing–cross–header, though that system has worked well enough for the national team, of which they currently provide no members but have a couple of young talents loitering around the edges.

Korsbach definitely need something to shake them out of their slumber, and rumors that Seltjstein, the auto manufacturer, are losing patience with their investment spiralled after the sponsors refused to consider redevelopment of the Sanktjakobvöllur arena. Either they go the way of their north-of-the-river betters – who barely consider them the same species, let alone rivals – and seriously invest in some more quality, or they will probably slide into relegation danger.

Manager: Rakel Alvinsdóttir

  • Goalkeepers: Michael Matheosson, Vöggur Henrýsson, Kristberg Hafrsson
  • Defenders: Svangeir Jarfisson, Christian Asvardsson, Eir Bjarnfinnursdóttir, Verneri Sandrosson, Ørjan Vífillsson, Raphael Leonhardsson, Svan Viktorsson
  • Midfielders: Freyja Sigurbergursdóttir, Bodil Alexandersdóttir, Katri Simonsdóttir, Noah Urbansson, Sigtryggur Hylursson, Fardhe Aapelisson, Gustav Eduardsson
  • Forwards: Margaux Torkildsdóttir, Greta Fólkisdóttir, Adrian Ísaksson, Fredrik Raunisson, Melina Nicosdóttir


Last season:
  • League: 2nd [Division 1]
  • Cup: Round of 16
  • International: IFCF Liga B Champions Trophy Second Preliminary Round
  • MVP: Natasja Hólmarsdóttir
Maigburg are a team that seems ready made for GPL football, making it surprising this is their first ever trip up to the top flight. A large multi-sports club, they bring the VG Arena, one of the larger stadiums in the country, a loyal fan base who support the Catbears with song and dance, costume and facepainting, and a squad of serviceable players, several of whom wealthier clubs may be watching with interest this season. That’s no guarantee they’ll stay up. Rather humiliatingly, their own sponsors, gambling site Grubby Hands, currently have a prominently listed offer taking advantage of their long odds of avoiding relegation displayed on their home website.

Bjarnveig Lyngarsdóttir oversaw an exciting Division 1 campaign last season that saw them take advantage of late collapse of favorites to go up, Þingsnitz, leapfrogging them and winning all four of their last games to rapturous reception from the Catbear Crowd. Less fortunately, they lost star forward Eiríka Jonathansdóttir to a knee injury that will force her to miss the entire season, and could well end her career. The heartbreaking scenes of her grimacing a smile while hobbling around on crutches during the promotion celebration rally will cast a shadow over this season regardless of results.

With her gone, a more defensive formation may be called for, switching from 4–4–2 to 4–2–3–1 in the absence of a genuine second striker. The Rafaelsson twins, not to be confused with the Raphaelsson twins, are hares up and down the wings, while Natasja Hólmarsdóttir is an exciting young talent in central midfield who has drawn favorable comparisons Amanda Guttisdóttir, except unlike Amanda she actually scores the occasional goal. She’ll need to score more than occasionally if Maigburg are to stay up, but if they manage it, it’ll be the feel-good story of the season. Except, presumably, for whomever is relegated in their place.

Manager: Bjarnveig Lyngarsdóttir

  • Goalkeepers: Elis Elisson, Harry Benediktsson, Matthía Kolskeggursdóttir
  • Defenders: Ernst Mathiasson, Wilhelmina Audunsdóttir, Paulina Philipsdóttir, Reijo Chrisson, Móri Ísidórsson, Benjamin Sebastiansson, Ernst Ejnarsson
  • Midfielders: Móeiður Oliversdóttir, Natasja Hólmarsdóttir, Waltteri Kamilusson, Svanhólm Rafaelsson, Florin Vincentsson, Stefan Rafaelsson, Thorfinna Thorleifsdóttir, Leonard Nicholasson, Skíði Erlingsson
  • Forwards: Josefine Benjaminsdóttir, Adam Petrisson, Stella Thomassdóttir


Last season:
  • League: 7th
  • Cup: 1st Round
  • International: N/A
  • MVP: Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson
50-year old Xander Augustine joined Molding as the first foreign manager in GPL history during the off-season. He inherits a side stacked with defensive talent, including regular NT center back Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson and reserve full-back Karoline Vernerisdóttir, but without the strength in offensive depth to perfectly suit his attacking vision for the club.

The Gold Shrews are one of the oldest clubs in Háttmark, with a celebrated history and more titles than other side. Yet last season they finished a tame 7th, were rarely mentioned in the same breath as Gunzlach and Steinaux, and had their sponsorship deal with Market-Alliance terminated following poor attendance at the Spajoküm Arena, with fans complaining about poor quality refreshments and amenities. Molding is a club creaking at the seams, and the weight of history doesn’t so much seem to be pulling it along, as pulling it down. A new sponsorship deal with builders’ merchants New Home Supplies seemed an unfortunately apt choice for a club in dire need of refurbishment.

A GPL without Molding is unimaginable. And there’s probably no need to imagine that, yet. Augustine may or may not succeed in livening up the team’s pace of play, but there’s enough quality in the starting XI to ensure they’ll get some wins and stay up. Equally hard, though, is imagining them progressing beyond the mid-table towards IFCF places or even reclaiming some of their old glories. That well-stocked trophy cabinet is likely to stay dusty for the foreseeable future.

Manager: Xander Augustine [CMT]

  • Goalkeepers: Kauko Jorgesson, Christian Fabiosson, Reidar Mathiasson
  • Defenders: Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson, Karoline Vernerisdóttir, Vita Benonýsdóttir, Mielikki Marsdóttir, Ørjan Jeffsson, Fredrik Thorleifsson, Viðar Adriansson, Mathias Eltonsson, Ulfar Davidsson
  • Midfielders: Karli Eljasson, Matti Eyðolvursson, Emilio Rafaelsson, Dögg Ymirsdóttir, Damjan Kjartansson, Joonatan Josefsson, Anica Elissdóttir
  • Forwards: Folke Mikaelsson, Emil Theosson, Viktoria Öndesdóttir, Hanne Heikkisdóttir, Adam Ivarsson


Last season:
  • League: 5th
  • Cup: 2nd Round
  • International: N/A
  • MVP: Philip Börkursson
Mühlrich turned out a team featuring six women in the starting XI on the final day of last season. For one of the most conservative clubs in the country, it was an historic moment; one wonders what club chairman Ingvald Hróbjartursson, watching from his box in the Laxenvöllur, thought; his had been the lone vote against permitting female players to first enter the league. Extending a contract to young Eastfield Lodge goalkeeper Zaahid Jeffery seemed almost an act of contrition for the more unfortunate fringes of the Turtle Ultras; at the very least, it made little sense given the outstanding play of Philip Börkursson and presence of more-than-capable Ásdís Hjalmarsdóttir on the bench.

Other foreign signings, bringing in Richard Armada after Love Nilsson went goalless through last season, and offering a loan to Stanimir Kowić as André Raphaelsson moves from a 5–4–1 to a more conventional 4–4–2, made more sense. As did paying out of pocket to retain the services of versatile midfielder Álfar Ásvaldursson, whose contract had expired and whom Steinaux made no secret of pursuing.

The Turtles put together a competent, unflashy season. It was unfortunate that that supposedly historic XI ended up being the ones whose defeat cost them a place in the IFCF. Þorláband, the insurance company, renewed their sponsorship. Season tickets continued to sell out and if the Turtle Ultras remained the rowdiest of fans, at least they remained fans. All of which can’t disguise that Mühlrich have a serious put-up-or-shut-up situation in front of them. They lead the pack of teams chasing IFCF places, and they also lead the pack of teams otherwise destined to swim around the middle of one of the lowest ranked leagues on the planets. One thing that would be a goal – one goal, any goal – from their star striker. Preferably more.

Manager: André Raphaelsson

  • Goalkeepers: Philip Börkursson, Zaahid Jeffery [EFL], Ásdís Hjalmarsdóttir
  • Defenders: Emma Kiliansdóttir, Stanimir Kowić [ZRH], Michelle Matteosdóttir, Aríel Mathiassdóttir, Leni Sigbergursdóttir, Naomi Hagalínsdóttir, Arinbjörn Markusson
  • Midfielders: Guðmann Arentsson, Anja Fardhesdóttir, Álfar Ásvaldursson, Viktor Lucasson, Robin Johannesson, Linnéa Jonassdóttir, Valentin Runesson, Josephine Leonhardsdóttir, Benno Gormursson
  • Forwards: Love Nilsson, Richard Armada [MBT], Hallgeir Noelsson, Åshild Luissdóttir


Last season:
  • League: 9th
  • Cup: Semi-finals
  • International: N/A
  • MVP: Dan Antoninsson
During the off-season, Oost-Hartburg’s beloved mascot of many years, Alyx the Cat, died. It was not close to the worst loss the club would suffer. The team that led the league in scoring yet finished 9th lost the two players most responsible for those goals, striker Dan Antoninsson and left midfielder Matthias Raphaelsson, and were left facing a yawning chasm in their place. Matthias’s twin brother Tragott remains on the right but is not close to his equal, and older brother Astrad is unlikely to even make the match day team. Though four of the team have won some representative selection for either national or Olympic sides, there’s no question that Oost-Hartburg have a huge uphill battle just to avoid relegation.

Sharing their arena this season with Estdal who face a similar plight in the aftermath of Justiina Dannysdóttir’s departure, the PR-1070 Platz could be the site of some rather grim football this season. Not that Oost-Hartburg lack for talent. Kalle Bjørnsson has made his name as the first choice defensive midfield substitute for the national team, but domestically he’s shown a wider range of skills in the center, while Helge Persson is likely to become a national team center back in time. But Dan and Matthias accounted over half of the goals last season directly or indirectly, and it’s difficult to see the likes of Flemming Emiliosson or Auðbjörg Bjørnsdóttir filling that gap.

The Ospreys also face financial difficulties (for which reason they had to let both talents go). Former sponsors Jörlein were shuttered by regulators, and a hastily scrambled deal with credit union Æðífjöðætz has yielded diminished funds (because none of their customers can even spell their fucking name). So there’ll be no late shopping spree: just a hard graft to stay up. Even then, young talents Laurin Asbjørnsson and Elektra Lúthersdóttir might end the season returning the calls of some of those interested clubs prowling around with teeth – and wallets – bared.

Manager: Roosa Aslesdóttir

  • Goalkeepers: Nicholas Siriusson, Ubbi Geirröðursson, Christoffer Rodleivursson
  • Defenders: Helge Persson, Elektra Lúthersdóttir, Michaela Steinvarðursdóttir, Emmy Kársdóttir, Laurin Asbjørnsson, Henrý Mikaelsson, Astrad Raphaelsson
  • Midfielders: Pia Karlsdóttir, Kalle Bjørnsson, Þórhalla Farmansdóttir, Flemming Emiliosson, Tragott Raphaelsson, Arsi Marcsson
  • Forwards: Marcus Linusson, Sigurbjört Tuomassdóttir, Simone Leonhardsdóttir, Ían Jónasson, Auðbjörg Bjørnsdóttir, Kaija Hnefillsdóttir, Adeline Benediktsdóttir


Last season:
  • League: 2nd
  • Cup: 2nd Round
  • International: IFCF Challengers’ Cup Second Round
  • MVP: Bríana Noahsdóttir
Never knowingly boring, Steinaux have had to come up with new and interesting ways to be hated, with Gunzlach absorbing so much of the scorn for their big-spending, Háttmark-centric ways. While the Gunners took the cliché approach of just winning, the Sausages have adopted a more direct route to opprobrium by partnering up with fossil fuels multinational Überolía and announcing plans for a huge new stadium to rival the Grand National Arena, tearing down the historic old Sighof, on the very same day that an Überolía tanker ran aground in Græntfjaller Multinesia. Oops.

So understandably, they’d rather talk about things on the pitch. Steinaux have a strong team, supplemented by Grearish full-back Jasmine Gardener and Squornshelan left winger Helder Geurkink, who will fill in for the injured Hlégestur Snæþórsson and then likely play alongside him in an asymmetric formation once he returns. The real prize is domestic talent Justiina Dannysdóttir, brought in to partner Petter Erlingsson (in the rare moments he’s not doing TV press, it turns out he’s actually pretty good with a ball at his feet, too) up front. Will any of it be worth it?


Steinaux have been trashing their reputation as a working-class club for years, embracing politically-correct fads and then buddying up with polluting oil giants, wrecking relations with their fans by charging exorbitant fees just to match those across town, and in all that time they’ve not come close to overpowering their rivals, Gunzlach. Unashamed spending in pursuit of league glory might turn out to be fruitless. But there’s little doubt they’ll make the IFCF qualifiers, and there perhaps lies their true aim as they seek to become a ‘global brand identity’. Funny, former fans mutter. They used to be a football club.

Manager: Svenn Kristjánsson

  • Goalkeepers: Isac Théosson, Svanbjörg Reidarsdóttir, Sófus Fólkisson
  • Defenders: Jasmine Gardener [GRU], Kilian Martinsson, Hjörleifur Reynarsson, Jostein Damonsson, Öne Svanbergursson, Vigfús Bensson, Elsi Davidsdóttir, Kyrri Marvinsson
  • Midfielders: Hlégestur Snæþórsson, Helen Kjeldsdóttir, Eila Brynjólfursdóttir, Hrærekur Jvarsson, Bríana Noahsdóttir, Nanny Austarsdóttir, Helder Geurkink [SRS]
  • Forwards: Petter Erlingsson, Ásvarður Bergmundursson, Justiina Dannysdóttir, Eyvar Simonsson, Nora Maximiliansdóttir
Last edited by Graintfjall on Fri Sep 04, 2020 4:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Graintfjall » Sun Sep 06, 2020 7:17 am

Molding 1–0 Folte
Oost-Hartburg 1–1 Fliserboding
Maigburg 0–1 Korsbach
Gunzlach 1–0 Altendalur
Mühlrich 1–0 Steinaux
Hofvinger 2–0 Estdal

Let’s get the firsts out of the way.

First name on the scoresheet: Laurin Asbjørnsson after five minutes against Fliserboding (who in a neat bit of mirroring, with five minutes to play would equalize with a corner-to-center-back’s-head connection of their own).

First foreign player to score in GPL history: The Jovannic Empire’s Jiraff Wang. Jason Þórhallursson’s powerful header was brilliantly saved by Thomas Quinnipag but the ball only fell as far as Wang, who wanged it into the net. It’s going to be a really long season if we make that joke every time.

First penalty: Spartakus Markusson’s foul brought Hæming Tronsson to the spot, and he converted with such aplomb that he decided to do it again in the second half, this time the beneficiary of a clumsy Robin Harrysson tackle, to give Hofvinger an admittedly notional lead atop the table after all games had been played.

First ‘goal of the season’ contender: Hanne Heikkisdóttir’s free-kick against Folte, that also made Xander Augustine the first foreign manager to get a win in the GPL.

First howler: Elis Elisson displayed the same skill in goal as his parents showed creativity in naming him when he dropped a regulation Fardhe Aapelisson shot at Margaux Torkildsdóttir’s feet.

First [foreign] player sent off: Zwangzug’s Ryan Lippe-Berg, frustrated as Altendalur’s campaign got off to a rocky start, took a disliking to, and a chunk out of, Chris Fornisson’s ankles.

First upset: Though the Turtles ultras would be offended to think of it as such, Mühlrich beating Steinaux as Robin Johannesson turned in a neat cross from Anja Fardhesdóttir to deal the Sausages an early blow to their title hopes.

Folte 2–2 Estdal
Steinaux 1–1 Hofvinger
Altendalur 2–1 Mühlrich
Korsbach 1–1 Gunzlach
Fliserboding 0–2 Maigburg
Molding 1–0 Oost-Hartburg

Folte and Estdal played out a hugely entertaining, end-to-end draw that both teams could have won or lost in the dying minutes. Altendalur’s first win featured three goals, one of them an injury time winner by left back Ásgautur Johannesson, nine yellow cards, one of them a second for Mühlrich’s Anja Fardhesdóttir, and a missed penalty. Right-back Paulina Philipsdóttir’s swerving 25 yard shot was an astonishing first GPL goal for Maigburg. Korsbach snuck a brave point after Jason Þórhallursson had scored in just the first minute. Did any of that make even the first ten pages of the sport section? Did it bollocks.

Instead, the media unanimously concentrated on the struggles of Steinaux, who’ve taken one point from six in the opening matches. At home to Hofvinger, Petter Erlingsson’s strong header was perfectly directed inside the far post. Pity it was his own net. The own goal cancelled out Justiina Dannysdóttir’s early strike, and for all their offensive firepower they were unable to generate any real chances in the second half. Two matches is too early to write them off for a title chance, but for a team with the most lustrous roster in the league it’s an embarrassing start.

Oost-Hartburg 1–1 Folte
Maigburg 1–0 Molding
Gunzlach 5–1 Fliserboding
Mühlrich 3–0 Korsbach
Hofvinger 0–0 Altendalur
Estdal 0–2 Steinaux

After 80 minutes of tenacious defending, Josefine Benjaminsdóttir gave the Catbears the winner from a corner. Maigburg’s second win was more impressive than their first: as Gunzlach demonstrated in spades, beating Fliserboding isn’t taxing. Sara Kristoffersdóttir had given the visitors an improbable lead with a thunderous strike from the edge of the area, but Momoko Wakabayashi spent the next seventy minutes terrorizing the hapless Locusts, creating goals for Jiraff Wang, Jason Þórhallursson and Ebbe Leosson, and then scoring herself. Þórhallursson’s second completed the rout.

Elsewhere, Richard Armada brought a touch of class to the Laxenvöllur, thrashing the first hat-trick of the season inside 32 minutes. Hlégestur Snæþórsson’s return from injury boosted Steinaux; he was involved in both goals as they finally got a win, his corner deflected in by Vigfús Bensson, and later scoring himself after a classy solo run. Celebrations were muted as earlier Estdal left-back Keld Juliansson had suffered a horrific, no-doubt season-ending, injury, casting something of a pall over proceedings.

Folte 0–0 Steinaux
Altendalur 0–1 Estdal
Korsbach 2–0 Hofvinger
Fliserboding 0–3 Mühlrich
Molding 2–4 Gunzlach
Oost-Hartburg 0–1 Maigburg

Excerpts from radio commentary:

“…long-range effort from Erlingsson – oh, just over the bar! That’s the closest Steinaux have come – and on replay, it wasn’t actually particularly close. They don’t look much like title challengers on the face of tonight’s dreary showing…”

“…Lukasson, still Lukasson, good strength to hold off the tenacious Ernestisson, chips towards the back post, and Anders Fabiansson comes crashing in to score! The debutant, only starting at left-back because of injury to Juliansson, is the unlikely hero in the 85th minute!…”

“…Nicosdóttir tumbles to ground. Penalty! Anna-Liisa Andrisdóttir no hesitation in pointing straight to the spot. No real complaint from Davidsdóttir, hangs her head as she knows she was beaten for the pace there and just stuck out a hopeful leg. Katri Simonsdóttir steps up to take it. Two steps – two-nil! Coolly slotted into the corner, no chance for Thörnqvist…”

“…it’s another penalty! Oh dear, the wheels are really coming off for 10-person Fliserboding. Can Christian Einvarðursson repeat his heroics and try to keep the deficit down to 2? Kristoffersdóttir still arguing the case, she’s a fine young player but needs to be careful here lest she’s booked… which, duly, she is. Still arguing even as Armada lines up his shot! And strikes it home. That was much better taken than the first one. Kristoffersdóttir still jawing away…”

“…Wakabayashi, mesmerizing footwork, Molding haven’t been able to live with her pace. Beautifully weighted pass – Þórhallursson – outrageously nutmegs Ørjan Jeffsson – what a quality goal! Gunzlach finally take the lead. Lovely play from Wakabayashi to set up Þórhallursson for a deserved second, though from the way he snatched the ball out of the net he’s not happy with 3 – 2…”

“…corner swings into the box, Reijo Chrisson flick header, Petrisson! Adam Petrisson stretching at the back post, and it’s hard to say that goal wasn’t coming despite some frenzied defense from Oost-Hartburg…”

Maigburg 2–3 Folte
Gunzlach 3–2 Oost-Hartburg
Mühlrich 0–3 Molding
Hofvinger 5–1 Fliserboding
Estdal 1–0 Korsbach
Steinaux 3–0 Altendalur

After the first month of the season, the table is somehow both shocking and unsurprising. Big gaps at top and bottom – Gunzlach head and shoulders above everyone else, and Fliserboding looking out of their depth – but it’s the performances of Maigburg and Altendalur that will catch the eye, for very different reasons. The Catbears weren’t even the best team in Division 1 last season and yet, but swap around late goals by Johanna Álvgeirsdóttir for Folte and Momoko Wakabayashi for Gunzlach, and they’d be leading the Premier League. (Admittedly, if you swap around all the goals, then Oost-Hartburg would be playing really well…)

Meanwhile the Chessmen are leading the league in precisely one category, red cards – Poul Simonsson the latest offender – and succumbed to a 3 – 0 drubbing at the hands of the Sausages in what no one had expected to be a bottom-of-the-table clash. Petter Erlingsson finally discovered some goal scoring form with a brace to follow Helder Geurkink’s well taken strike. Despite their mid-table position Steinaux’s defense has been excellent, so for them it was just a matter of waiting for their offense to catch up. Altendalur’s problems seem to run deeper, with poor defense and a lack of offensive spark.

   Premier League        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Gunzlach 5 4 1 0 14 6 +8 13
2 Mühlrich 5 3 0 2 8 5 +3 9
3 Maigburg 5 3 0 2 6 4 +2 9
4 Molding 5 3 0 2 7 5 +2 9
5 Hofvinger 5 2 2 1 8 4 +4 8
6 Steinaux 5 2 2 1 6 2 +4 8
7 Korsbach 5 2 1 2 4 5 −1 7
8 Estdal 5 2 1 2 4 6 −2 7
9 Folte 5 1 3 1 6 6 0 6
10 Altendalur 5 1 1 3 2 6 −4 4
11 Oost-Hartburg 5 0 2 3 4 7 −3 2
12 Fliserboding 5 0 1 4 3 16 −13 1
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Postby Graintfjall » Mon Sep 07, 2020 8:51 am

Græntfjall Cup

The Græntfjall Cup has in the past not been taken seriously by leading sides, who have concentrated on the League and sent second or youth XIs to compete. Cup Winners Cup participation has changed all that. With the Cup now a possible secondary route to international club football (and a slice of the international club football TV rights deal) the GPL sides for the first time sat up and took notice. And the first thing they noticed was they no longer approved of the simplistic format of the Cup, which allowed Fliserboding and Mühlrich to draw each other in the first round, while forcing big clubs to play away games at tiny second division stadiums.

Traditionalists complained that League and Cup had always been separate, and the GPL teams couldn’t agree on a format change, falling out over the question of one or two legs or seeded later entries. So for now, no changes were forced through, but it seems certain the format will change next season. This season, the first round saw GPL teams Oost-Hartburg and Fliserboding knocked out in the first round; so poor had their League form between that Oost-Hartburg’s defeat at the hands of second division Lohrreith barely counted as a giant-killing, more a minnow-stomping, while the Locusts as mentioned had faced the tough prospect of Mühlrich. Gunzlach, who opened the season announcing they were going for ‘the double’, nearly had double red cheeks as they stumbled to a regulation time draw against Vildkappel and needed extra time.

Kirchmegen 3–2 Bezingen
Wimhavn 1–1 Tuldam (1–1 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Akurgarten 0–3 Laitwinkl
Oost-Hartburg 0–0 Lohrreith (0–0 AET) (1–3 pen.)
Folte 0–0 Frederiksfahrn (0–0 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Þingsnitz 1–0 Tromskowitz
Haafberg 0–3 Altendalur
Estdal 1–0 Lehberg
Vildkappel 2–2 Gunzlach (2–4 AET)
Kangasdorf 1–2 Mokofen
Wanzschwendt 0–4 Esna
Kuodorf 2–1 Voleln
Haderhavn 5–3 Waltenberg
Pichika 1–1 Hinteram (1–1 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Laafjörður 0–4 Holderberg
Gramar 0–2 Paschvík
Aigsvinger 1–1 Molding (1–2 AET)
Putzendorf 5–4 Ostholm
Korsbach 1–0 Griesberg
Gerstungtal 0–2 Hintersfjörður
Gründorf 3–2 Harmersgrunn
Kyrkdorf 3–4 Lengschach
Maigburg 0–0 Järvendorf (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Reschensreppur 0–1 Hagejoki
Lammedal 1–1 Schwakirchen (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Kochhavn 2–0 Væggerfried
Fliserboding 2–2 Mühlrich (2–4 AET)
Nordmarksdorf 0–2 Edlidolz
Ilsburg 0–2 Hofvinger
Steinaux 1–0 Notschach
Diepoldsburg 3–1 Goesberg
Gstockmäki 0–0 Schudvík (1–0 AET)

Græntfjall Premier League

Folte 0–1 Altendalur
Korsbach 0–1 Steinaux
Fliserboding 2–3 Estdal
Molding 3–2 Hofvinger
Oost-Hartburg 2–2 Mühlrich
Maigburg 0–2 Gunzlach

Miserable unseasonal rain plagued many of the matches the weekend after the first cup break, but the weather didn’t prevent some exciting on-field action. 10-person Steinaux survived Elsi Davidsdóttir’s sending off, while Altendalur gulped down the relief of an away win thanks to Tyler Prentice’s second-half penalty. Else Sofussdóttir celebrated a hat-trick at the Frei Stadion to cap a comeback from 2 – 0 down, although the second goal was later re-awarded as a Ben Dalmarsson own goal by a shadowy cabal known as the Order of Illusory Goals, who reached their decision after meeting in cowled robes to conduct a ritual offering with a ceremonial dagger.

Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson was similarly generous to visitors Hofvinger, but recovered to lead his team to victory in an enthralling game featuring 4 goals in the last half hour. Oost-Hartburg gained a valuable point, and Mühlrich dropped an infuriating two, through Marcus Linusson’s injury time equalizer after the Turtles thought a Richard Armada penalty had won them the see-sawing contest. In fact, the only boring game of the week came courtesy of Gunzlach, who are running away with things at the top and dealt Maigburg a harsh dose of reality with a near-flawless display.

Gunzlach 3–3 Folte
Mühlrich 0–3 Maigburg
Hofvinger 1–0 Oost-Hartburg
Estdal 0–0 Molding
Steinaux 2–2 Fliserboding
Altendalur 3–0 Korsbach

Titles of fan match reports on each game. (For brevity’s sake, and to spare you the ravings of one-eyed ultras about how biased the referee was, the reports themselves have been excised.)

Gunnar’s Gunners: “Terrible Penalty Decision Costs Gunzlach Two Points”

Striding On: “Auðunsdóttir’s Late Stunner Seals Deserving Draw”

Inside The Turtle Shell: “Fans Head For The Exits, So Should Börkursson”

We Are The Catbears, Hear Us Meow-Roar: “Philipsdóttir For National Team? Call-Up Should Beckon For Star Right Back”

The Northern Wolf Pack: “Constantinsson Scores Goal Of The Season? Click Here To Watch!”

OspreyZone: “Wasteful Ospreys Miss Chance For Big Road Win”

Quack Attack: “Punta’s Vision Taking Shape As Ducks Salvage Tough Point”

The Shrewhole: “Cold Shrews! Grim Night Out As Weather, Officials Conspire Against Gold Shrews”

Forever Sizzling: “Brave Comeback Shows The Spirit Of The Sausages (10% Off ‘Spirit Of The Sausages’ Branded Swag!!)”

The Cabbage Patch: “Shambolic Defensive Lapses Cannot Continue”

En Passant: “Checkmate! Aðalmundursson Brace Castles Hapless Sabres”

Sabre Rattling: “Dirty Altendalur’s Bully Boy Tactics: Close-Up Photos Show Johannesson’s Stamp”

Folte 2–2 Korsbach
Fliserboding 0–3 Altendalur
Molding 0–0 Steinaux
Oost-Hartburg 2–2 Estdal
Maigburg 0–0 Hofvinger
Gunzlach 4–1 Mühlrich

Raphael Leonhardsson’s own goal cost Korsbach two points as 9 and 10 in the table slugged out an entertaining(ly bad) match at the OptiFone Arena. Altendalur, struggling for goals from their forwards, decided to get three out of their backs, Tom Ernestisson’s 35 yard screamer the undoubted goal of the round. With the Catbears held to a draw, the Chessmen are now exactly level with them in joint fourth place, necessitating some nervous glances at the regulations by Knattspyrnusamband Græntfjalls officials in case an end-of-season play-off is needed to determine IFCF places.

Molding and Steinaux delighted Gunzlach, who smashed Mühlrich in arrogantly dismissive style; 2 and 3 in the table ground out a goalless draw to drag both further from the Gunners’ heels. But the most intriguing game pitted Oost-Hartburg against Estdal. With both calling the PR-1070 Platz home this season while the Estdal ground is redeveloped, the Ducks showed a distinct lack of gratitude to their hosts by denying the Ospreys their first win thanks to substitute Erna Sunesdóttir’s late goal.

Mühlrich 1–3 Folte
Hofvinger 1–2 Gunzlach
Estdal 3–1 Maigburg
Steinaux 1–0 Oost-Hartburg
Altendalur 1–0 Molding
Korsbach 4–0 Fliserboding

Excerpts from radio commentary:

“…wonderful effort from Álvgeirsdóttir. 25 yards out, dummy to give her space, and a dipping drive. Hmm, they’re showing it on the replays and Börkursson really could have done better. Squirmed out of his hands at the end. The Laxenvöllur crowd very unhappy and chanting for Zaahid Jeffery. They can’t pronounce his name for toffee but they’re certainly making their feelings known on the subject of the #1 jersey…”

“…Tronsson, plays to Marvinsson, who’s in space. Cross comes in, and Lyngar Rögnvaldursson with a driving header! That’s his first goal of the season, but what a moment to break his drought. Squares things up and that could be hugely important as the Northern Wolves restore parity just before the half…”

“…the whistle blows – it is a penalty! A nervous rumble of excitement here at the PR-1070 Platz. Good strength by Jalmarisson to force the foul by Elisson, who’s shown a yellow and will now need to keep out this Fabian Lukasson penalty to preserve the lead. Which he – doesn’t. Smashed in, and Maigburg after starting so strong have surrendered that lead as easily as a G-pop starlet surrendering her virtue, if certain tabloid rumors about Jason Þórhallursson’s off-field activities are to be believed…”


“…fantastic save by Quinnipag, scrambling at full-length to deny Öndesdóttir. Boy, he’s sure earned his stripes, or should that be squares, tonight, and it might make him breathe a little easier if they could stop missing chances at the other end…”

“…and Nicosdóttir is there to smash it in! This is turning into a bit of a rout, I’m afraid. Sad to see. Fliserboding are not without talent, but approximately none of that seems to be found in defense…”

Folte 1–0 Fliserboding
Molding 4–2 Korsbach
Oost-Hartburg 0–2 Altendalur
Maigburg 0–2 Steinaux
Gunzlach 4–1 Estdal
Mühlrich 1–0 Hofvinger

The season isn’t even half way done but it already looks something of a foregone conclusion. Gunzlach’s march to the mountains* continues apace, with three goals in eight minutes sealing Estdal’s fate. Equally, Fliserboding and Oost-Hartburg should start planning for next season in Division 1 as both remain stubbornly winless, clueless, hapless, and generally hopeless.

The most interesting question is likely to be who will finish fourth, with all three foreign-managed clubs competing for the spot, a point that hasn’t gone unnoticed by fans of teams in the bottom half (and the nervous Græntfjaller managers they heckle). At present Molding have a two-point cushion thanks to a 4 – 2 win over Korsbach in what’s patronizingly known as ‘the other Háttmark derby’. Viktoria Öndesdóttir scored three goals, two for the Gold Shrews and one for the Sabres.

Steinaux and Maigburg played out an ill-tempered affair with Kyrri Marvinsson and Benjamin Sebastiansson both sent off; Petter Erlingsson missed a penalty but scored from open play and Hlégestur Snæþórsson sealed things with a vicious shot into the top corner. Hofvinger’s disappointing season continued with a defeat away to Mühlrich.

* From an episode in Græntfjaller history, this phrase would have a similar resonance to ‘march to the sea’ in US history, with Jason Þórhallursson representing General Sherman, the Southern plantations representing assorted soap opera actresses’ panties, and a flaming torch representing – well, I think you get the general idea.

   Premier League        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Gunzlach 10 8 2 0 29 12 +17 26
2 Steinaux 10 5 4 1 12 4 +8 19
3 Altendalur 10 6 1 3 12 6 +6 19
4 Molding 10 5 2 3 14 10 +4 17
5 Estdal 10 4 3 3 13 15 −2 15
6 Folte 10 3 5 2 15 13 +2 14
7 Maigburg 10 4 1 5 10 11 −1 13
8 Mühlrich 10 4 1 5 13 17 −4 13
9 Hofvinger 10 3 3 4 12 10 +2 12
10 Korsbach 10 3 2 5 12 15 −3 11
11 Oost-Hartburg 10 0 4 6 8 15 −7 4
12 Fliserboding 10 0 2 8 7 29 −22 2
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Postby Graintfjall » Tue Sep 08, 2020 8:27 am

Græntfjall Cup

More GPL teams stumbled, with Folte, Molding and Korsbach all losing home games, admittedly to Division 1 opposition. There were two all-GPL encounters, Altendalur and Estdal needing penalties to settle the matter, Hofvinger atoning for an indifferent start to the League season by dispatching Steinaux inside 90 minutes.

Kirchmegen 2–3 Tuldam
Laitwinkl 1–1 Lohrreith (1–1 AET) (2–0 pen.)
Folte 1–2 Þingsnitz
Altendalur 0–0 Estdal (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Gunzlach 3–1 Mokofen
Esna 1–2 Kuodorf
Haderhavn 1–5 Hinteram
Holderberg 0–1 Paschvík
Molding 1–2 Putzendorf
Korsbach 0–0 Hintersfjörður (0–1 AET)
Gründorf 1–3 Lengschach
Maigburg 1–0 Hagejoki
Schwakirchen 2–0 Kochhavn
Mühlrich 1–0 Edlidolz
Hofvinger 3–2 Steinaux
Diepoldsburg 1–0 Gstockmäki

Græntfjall Premier League

Excerpts from the live text feed of the GTV.græ rolling coverage:

KICK-OFF Hello and welcome to our rolling coverage of the weekend’s games. The 11th games all being played simultaneously; this is a trial run, one feels, for the last week of the season when the same thing will happen. Never before in Græntfaller history have games been played concurrently like this, so we can understand KG wanting a test of the system. It does mean only one game is being shown live on GTV – that of course the big game of the week, and perhaps the season, the North Háttmark derby – but don’t worry, you can follow the action from all the games here and view highlights through the GTV app or on the blue button.

1’ GREAT SAVE (Korsbach 0–0 Oost-Hartburg) And we’re straight into the action as Fredrik Raunisson has a blistering shot tipped over by Nicholas Siriusson after just 55 seconds of play.

2’ PENALTY SHOUT (Altendalur 0–0 Maigburg) Darren Hunt goes down, the Chessmen appeal, referee pointing to … a goal-kick. Early drama. Marginal call but would have been tough to award a penalty based on some fairly minimal contact from Móri Ísidórsson, late as he was in the challenge.

9’ GOAL (Altendalur 0–1 Maigburg) Móeiður Oliversdóttir’s cross finds Móri Ísidórsson in an unusually forward position – perhaps it’s better if he stays out of his penalty box if he’s going to tackle like that earlier one. And stays in the Altendalur penalty box if he’s going to head like this!

12’ GOAL (Fliserboding 0–1 Molding) Oh that’s delightful. Hanne Heikkisdóttir lobs Christian Einvarðursson from 20 yards out with an imperious finish. Her play on the left wing has been a continuous highlights reel this season.

17’ GOAL (Hofvinger 1–0 Folte) Lyngar Rögnvaldursson flicks a neat header that puts Valtter Marvinsson in with time and space to pick his shot, which he smartly places past the onrushing Arve Timsson.

30’ GREAT SAVE (Estdal 0 – 0 Mühlrich) Zaahid Jeffery at full stretch to deny Robin Harrysson. First start in #1 for the Eastfield Lodge youngster and that was impressive to reach the curling free-kick.

31’ GOAL (Estdal 1 – 0 Mühlrich) Rato Guðmannsson heads in Robin Harrysson’s corner. Bounced up off a defender so it arrived at a slightly awkward height for him, but he made enough contact to direct it in.

33’ GOAL (Estdal 1 – 1 Mühlrich) Nice run and a beautiful pass from Richard Armada sets up Álfar Ásvaldursson for a simple tap-in as the Turtles respond in just under 90 seconds. Frantic stuff here!

35’ GREAT SAVE (Altendalur 0–1 Maigburg) Thomas Quinnipag with a terrific save, two in fact, blocking Josefine Benjaminsdóttir’s shot with his hands, then the rebound effort with his legs.

35’ GOAL (Korsbach 1–0 Oost-Hartburg) Raunisson had a shot saved earlier but there was no stopping this one! Absolutely blasted in. Some serious swerve on that powerful strike.

38’ PENALTY SHOUT (Korsbach 1–0 Oost-Hartburg) Michael Matheosson is a lucky boy to still be on the pitch after bringing down Arsi Marcsson. Just a booking, but that could have been a red card for a professional foul. Still has the penalty to deal with. Flemming Emiliosson steps up – and Matheosson saves it! A very very lucky boy.

45+2’ GOAL (Estdal 2 – 1 Mühlrich) Another good save from Jeffery but this time the ball fell straight to Nikolai Jalmarisson, who almost got it tangled up in his ankles but managed to scuff it out – and into the net.

59’ GOAL (Korsbach 2–0 Oost-Hartburg) Margaux Torkildsdóttir makes it safe with a second, slotting in an angled shot from 10 yards after rounding two defenders. Oost-Hartburg looking pretty lost here – and it’s not the first time we’ve said that.

64’ GOAL (Altendalur 1–1 Maigburg) Completely against the run of play, Benedikt Nilsson unleashes a stunning shot from 25 yards out on the left wing. The Chessmen are back in this after making heavy weather of the first half.

64’ CLOSE (Steinaux 0 – 0 Gunzlach) Wang drills it into the crossbar! Free-kick curling in and it blazed into the crossbar. Still reverberating from the impact.

67’ CLOSE (Steinaux 0 – 0 Gunzlach) Þórhallursson? No. Off the post. He can’t believe it. After a quiet first half the Gunners are really starting to ratchet things up and you feel a goal is coming.

81’ GOAL (Fliserboding 0–2 Molding) Fliserboding have held out gamely but they’re tiring now and some of those familiar defensive errors creeping in. Not the most threatening cross, should have been dealt with, but Dögg Ymirsdóttir has put it into the back of the net.

84’ GOAL (Estdal 3 – 1 Mühlrich) Erna Sunesdóttir straight into the action as the substitute corrals a nice pass from Rato Guðmannsson and fires home from the edge of the box. The Ducks have put this game in the book now.

87’ GOAL (Fliserboding 0–3 Molding) Adam Ivarsson has ensured the scoreline won’t reflect how well Fliserboding have played in one of their better showings this season. Nothing to it in the build-up, just a momentary lapse, and he was through on goal, curling his shot in off the post.

87’ GREAT SAVE (Altendalur 1–1 Maigburg) If the Chessmen steal a point here they’ll have Quinnipag to thank. Natasja Hólmarsdóttir’s free-kick was curling into the top corner when Quinnipag came flying in like a superhero to touch it wide.

88’ GOAL (Fliserboding 1–3 Molding) Jade Miansdóttir with an immediate response. Sadly this will be a consolation not the start of a great come-back, Fliserboding have been soundly beaten here, but good effort from the defensive midfielder to still be up in a scoring position after putting in some serious miles across the pitch today.

89’ RED CARD (Fliserboding 1–3 Molding) And just after grabbing a late consolation the frustrations of the night pour out as Ben Dalmarsson grabs Ivarsson and hauls him to the ground.

90+3’ GOAL (Steinaux 1 – 0 Gunzlach) Vigfús Bensson is the unlikely hero as a match packed with almost the entire country’s offensive talent is decided by a center-back. Towering leap at a poorly defended corner and thumping header. Had the Gunners switched off? If they were playing for a draw, it’s ended up costing them. The Sausages are going wild!

FULL TIME Raucous end to what had been an overhyped disappointment for 93 minutes. Elsewhere Hofvinger and Korsbach picked up valuable wins. I’m afraid life at the bottom is getting very repetitive for winless Oost-Hartburg and Fliserboding, though. Thanks for following.

Hofvinger 1–0 Folte
Estdal 3–1 Mühlrich
Steinaux 1–0 Gunzlach
Altendalur 1–1 Maigburg
Korsbach 2–0 Oost-Hartburg
Fliserboding 1–3 Molding

   Premier League        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Gunzlach 11 8 2 1 29 13 +16 26
2 Steinaux 11 6 4 1 13 4 +9 22
3 Altendalur 11 6 2 3 13 7 +6 20
4 Molding 11 6 2 3 17 11 +6 20
5 Estdal 11 5 3 3 16 16 0 18
6 Hofvinger 11 4 3 4 13 10 +3 15
7 Folte 11 3 5 3 15 14 +1 14
8 Korsbach 11 4 2 5 14 15 −1 14
9 Maigburg 11 4 2 5 11 12 −1 14
10 Mühlrich 11 4 1 6 14 20 −6 13
11 Oost-Hartburg 11 0 4 7 8 17 −9 4
12 Fliserboding 11 0 2 9 8 32 −24 2
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Postby Graintfjall » Thu Sep 10, 2020 10:16 am

Græntfjall Cup

Altendalur lost a nail-biting match to their western rivals, Þingsnitz (their team nickname ‘the Þings’ is pretty unimaginative, but at least better than ‘the Nits’). Holders Lengschach were knocked out by Maigburg, whose season continues to go from strength to strength; Mühlrich lost on penalties as their season continues to languish in the doldrums. Long time rivals Gunzlach and Hofvinger took a glance at a potential final meet-up and for now concentrated on squeaking by lower ranked sides by 1 – 0 margins.

Tuldam 1–0 Laitwinkl
Þingsnitz 1–0 Altendalur
Gunzlach 1–0 Kuodorf
Hinteram 3–3 Paschvík (4–3 AET)
Putzendorf 1–2 Hintersfjörður
Lengschach 0–0 Maigburg (1–2 AET)
Schwakirchen 1–1 Mühlrich (1–1 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Hofvinger 1–0 Diepoldsburg

Græntfjall Premier League

Folte 1–1 Molding
Fliserboding 1–0 Oost-Hartburg
Korsbach 1–2 Maigburg
Altendalur 3–1 Gunzlach
Steinaux 0–0 Mühlrich
Estdal 0–0 Hofvinger

BREAKING NEWS Fliserboding won a game of football! Sara Kristoffersdóttir carved a path through four defenders and fired home into the bottom corner, and the teenager’s wonder goal was good enough for a 1 – 0 victory over … oh, they were only playing Oost-Hartburg. Never mind, carry on.

No, the real story of the round was Altendalur coming from behind to defeat the slightly more formidable opposition of Gunzlach. Wang had given the Gunners the lead, taking advantage of some poor defending at a corner to head home totally unmarked. But Gunzlach proved poor defensive play wasn’t the exclusive preserve of the hosts as they gifted Ryan Lippe-Berg an easy chance to put his laces through one and blast the Chessmen level at the half. The second half was one way traffic as Joen Aðalmundursson scored twice, finishing a great through-ball from Lippe-Berg with a sharp shot from a tight angle, then bullying a header past Alexander Leonardsson, who should have done better.

And after all that drama, Steinaux were somehow inevitably left fuming as they failed to capitalize on two bad weeks for Gunzlach, they themselves held goalless at home to struggling Mühlrich.

Estdal 0–0 Folte
Hofvinger 0–2 Steinaux
Mühlrich 0–2 Altendalur
Gunzlach 2–2 Korsbach
Maigburg 2–2 Fliserboding
Oost-Hartburg 2–1 Molding

Gunzlach have now taken one point from the last nine as their seemingly unstoppable title charge is…now looking pretty damned stoppable? If anything, the Gunners ought to be celebrating that one point, as they very nearly gave up their undefeated home record to Korsbach, needing a header from (who else) Jason Þórhallursson in the 7th minute of injury time, most of that added after tempers had flared over a challenge on Christian Asvardsson. After the fracas cleared, Noah Urbansson converted the penalty, and Katri Simonsdóttir added a second to send the Gunners faithful into cold sweats.

Scenting blood in the water, Steinaux and Altendalur picked up valuable away wins in tough environments. Petter Erlingsson was inspirational for the Sausages, setting up Jasmine Gardener for her maiden GPL goal as the hugely impressive left back surged onto a sweetly weighted ball and slammed a shot into the top corner, then winning a penalty which Hrærekur Jvarsson converted. The Chessmen found things slightly harder and needed a terrific penalty save from Thomas Quinnipag to keep them in the game before Tom Ernestisson and Darren Hunt scored from corners in the closing minutes.

Elsewhere, Oost-Hartburg decided being the only remaining winless team wasn’t a good look. They were helped by Kauko Jorgesson giving up a silly penalty; Molding could come away muttering they had the best of much of the play and the worst of the officiating, but delirious Osprey fans heard only the final whistle confirming they had at last taken three points. Maigburg and Fliserboding played out an entertaining draw, Estdal and Folte a deeply boring one at second division Diepoldsburg’s ground.

Folte 1–0 Oost-Hartburg
Molding 1–1 Maigburg
Fliserboding 2–1 Gunzlach
Korsbach 2–4 Mühlrich
Altendalur 1–0 Hofvinger
Steinaux 4–2 Estdal

Selection of newspaper headlines reacting to this round’s matches (though most focus on one match in particular). You are not missing any great works of the Grænfjaller language by not having the articles themselves.

Háttmark Horn: “Locusts ravage Gunners’ title hopes!”

Daily Crusader: “The shot heard around the world: how that Kristoffersdóttir goal unfolded”

HB: “SICK SAUSAGES! Shameful Steinaux scum troll Gunzlach fan forum with ‘suicide helpline’ posts”

Freifjölmiðlar: “‘Generational talent’ Kristoffersdóttir must be carefully managed, says Altendalur chairman”

Háttmark Harbinger: “Grand National Arena a fitting stage for Kristoffersdóttir’s magic, says Gunzlach chairwoman”

The Red Giant: “Kristoffersdóttir ‘deserves to play’ in Premier League, says Steinaux chairperson”

The Worker: “SUPER SARA: Fliserboding faithful demand club MUST retain two-goal hero Kristoffersdóttir”

Waltenberg Daily: “Kristoffersdóttir, Heikkisdóttir, Ásvaldursson fantasy players of the week”

Northern Star: “Calls for Völundursson to go grow in volume following capitulation”

Vestrænnblaðið: “Lippe-Berg injury time hero as Chessmen go second”

Index Græntfjalls: “IN PICTURES: Brutal sweatshop where children sew footballs for GPL”

ND: “IN PICTURES: GPL love rat Þórhallursson’s hat-trick of swimsuit models!”

It should be noted that ND’s circulation is substantially larger than that of Index Græntfjalls.

Steinaux 3–0 Folte
Estdal 0–5 Altendalur
Hofvinger 3–0 Korsbach
Mühlrich 2–3 Fliserboding
Gunzlach 4–4 Molding
Maigburg 3–0 Oost-Hartburg

The shockwaves from last week’s results continued to rumble through the league. Fliserboding’s win over Mühlrich was much messier than their glorious upset of Gunzlach – they needed two red cards and an own goal to get over the line – but could prove crucial in their fight to avoid relegation. But the biggest story, of course, involved Gunzlach, who took out some of the frustrations of the previous few weeks by thumping four goals in 32 minutes – then watched their lead dwindle and finally evaporate when Matthias Parmesson headed into his own net five minutes into injury time. For Molding, it was a fairytale; for Gunzlach, also a fairytale, but one of those traditional Græntfjaller fairytales where the children die at the end.

Despite breaking the record for the most goals in a single weekend of GPL football – testament both to the attacking influence of foreign players and coaches, and to some pretty woeful defending – no one managed to score a hat-trick. Momoko Wakabayashi seemed to have given Gunzlach an unassailable lead when her second crashed in, Petter Erlingsson scored twice as Steinaux thrashed Folte, Josefine Benjaminsdóttir grabbed a brace as Maigburg put away Oost-Hartburg, and Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir and Tyler Prentice both double-dipped in the spoils as Altendalur made up their goal difference deficit to Steinaux in a single match (but remained second on head-to-head record, which they will have a chance to put right next week).

Folte 3–0 Maigburg
Oost-Hartburg 0–2 Gunzlach
Molding 0–1 Mühlrich
Fliserboding 0–0 Hofvinger
Korsbach 1–0 Estdal
Altendalur 0–0 Steinaux

Potentially the most significant 0 – 0 draw of the season played out at the Florus Stadion. The Chessmen needed a good save from Thomas Quinnipag, tipping a rocket from Hrærekur Jvarsson onto the bar, and were left ruing a tight offside decision to rule out a Darren Hunt goal, but in truth it was a fairly drab affair in windy, rainy conditions, in which Altendalur failed to display the attacking spirit they needed, and Steinaux were content to take a draw that cemented their head-to-head advantage on the season. All of which made Gunzlach’s first win in a month that much more important, reminding those ahead of them of their presence in the title race.

Fliserboding’s goalless draw at Hofvinger might have been celebrated as a positive result earlier in the season; with Korsbach beating Estdal, now it just served to remind the Locusts of the yawning gap between them and relegation safety. Reijo Chrisson continued Maigburg’s reputation for ill-discipline with a straight red for a brutal foul; Lara Auðunsdóttir converted from the spot and added another in open play to take her season tally to a league-second 8 (just a quick 10 needed to catch up with Jason Þórhallursson, then). After last weekend’s goalfest this was, in truth, a bit of a slow news day; the most exciting game came at the Spajoküm Arena, visitors Mühlrich stealing a late win through a bit of Richard Armada brilliance.

   Premier League        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Steinaux 16 9 6 1 22 6 +16 33
2 Altendalur 16 10 3 3 24 8 +16 33
3 Gunzlach 16 9 4 3 39 24 +15 31
4 Molding 16 6 5 5 24 20 +4 23
5 Folte 16 5 7 4 20 18 +2 22
6 Maigburg 16 6 4 6 19 19 0 22
7 Hofvinger 16 5 5 6 16 13 +3 20
8 Mühlrich 16 6 2 8 21 27 −6 20
9 Estdal 16 5 5 6 18 26 −8 20
10 Korsbach 16 5 3 8 20 26 −6 18
11 Fliserboding 16 3 4 9 16 37 −21 13
12 Oost-Hartburg 16 1 4 11 10 25 −15 7
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Postby Graintfjall » Sat Sep 12, 2020 6:20 pm

Græntfjall Cup

Gunzlach’s League ambitions have taken a turn, but they’re still on course for the Cup. More significant than their 4 – 0 walkover of Hinteram was seeing the two remaining Premier League sides knocked out on the other side of the draw, presenting the Gunners with an easier path.

Tuldam 3–3 Þingsnitz (4–3 AET)
Gunzlach 4–0 Hinteram
Hintersfjörður 2–1 Maigburg
Schwakirchen 1–0 Hofvinger

Græntfjall Premier League

Altendalur 1–0 Folte
Steinaux 3–1 Korsbach
Estdal 3–3 Fliserboding
Hofvinger 0–2 Molding
Mühlrich 3–0 Oost-Hartburg
Gunzlach 2–3 Maigburg

Excerpts from radio commentary:

“…Wolfgangsdóttir, Vilbertsdóttir in to close her down, but the little striker gives her the slip – clever dummy – ghosts past Álfarsson – unleashes a shot. Goal! What a goal! Magnificent! Completely sparks this dull encounter to life with some magic from Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir, who has just made the two best defenders in the country look like club amateurs…”

“…Gustav Eduardsson is completely unmarked! And he looks as surprised as anyone to have scored. I think that was his first touch of the ball. He just came on as a substitute, and something went wrong in the defense there, Steinaux normally so solid. Bit of an argument over the marking, but it won’t change the result. Still, a nice moment for Eduardsson as he scores his first Premier League goal – ah, and that’s lovely, the elder statesman Erlingsson gives him an approving pat on the shoulder…”

“…as we get underway here at the PR-1070 Platz. Good crowd in, helped by the change to more pleasant weather – in fact I wonder if the sun will be a problem later on, creating a very sharp angle across the pitch. There’s a gentle breeze blowing in, and the temperate is a balmy – hold on – they’ve scored! Sara Kristoffersdóttir went haring off down the left flank from the kick-off, and her cross couldn’t have landed any more sweetly for Viktor Leonardsson – but what was Álfar Brunosson doing!?…”

“…just listen to that as Thörnqvist picks the ball out of the net. Boos ring out around the Langvöllur. Not for him, there was nothing he could do about that Heikkisdóttir strike. They’re booing Völundursson. Not a sight, or should that be sound, we’re used to at Græntfjaller arenas, and certainly not the Langvöllur, but with results going this way is it any surprise the Northern Wolves have started baying…”

“…lovely back-heel from Noelsson, Nilsson controls the ball nicely, and hits it on the turn, into the side-netting… oh, the crowd thought that was a goal. The clue should have been Love Nilsson’s name, the striker has scored two goals in two seasons and yet keeps getting picked for the national team…”


Folte 0–2 Gunzlach
Maigburg 0–1 Mühlrich
Oost-Hartburg 0–1 Hofvinger
Molding 1–0 Estdal
Fliserboding 0–1 Steinaux
Korsbach 0–1 Altendalur

Jason Þórhallursson became the first player to score 20 goals in a GPL season, although it wasn’t his statistical achievements on the pitch piling up the column inches as rumors about him and a young female politician made for an entertaining diversion from a dull political debate over land tax reform. His nearest rivals (for the Gold Boot, not for the affections of a certain government minister, so far as we know) are Hanne Heikkisdóttir and Lara Auðunsdóttir, with 16. A combined 16.

I’m doing that thing where I bring up irrelevant statistics and banal personal trivia to distract from the action on the field, because while there have been some 1 – 0 humdingers decided by late goals or replete with end-to-end chances this season, five of them played out this week and every one was a dud. Five first half goals, five second half snoozefests. Not a whiff of a late comeback, controversial off-side, or dodgy penalty, and even a brief invasion of parasitic alien body-snatchers couldn’t enliven a morbid clash between Oost-Hartburg, mathematically alive but realistically as dead as the husks left behind by the marauding extraterrestrial OVERLORDS WHOM WE MUST OBEY OBEY OBEY, and Hofvinger. OBEY OBEY OBEY.

Korsbach 1–0 Folte
Altendalur 1–0 Fliserboding
Steinaux 2–2 Molding
Estdal 5–0 Oost-Hartburg
Hofvinger 3–0 Maigburg
Mühlrich 0–4 Gunzlach

At long last Altendalur got a taste of life at the top of the table, thanks in small part to a goal from Darren Hunt, and in much larger part one from Adam Ivarsson, who fired a late equalizer for Molding. That kept Steinaux to a point, giving the Chessmen a clear two point lead with no worrying about goal difference or head to head, while also tightening the Gold Shrews’ grip on the valuable fourth place position. Gunzlach continued to be predictably unpredictable, cruising to an untroubled 4 – 0 victory after Momoko Wakabayashi’s goal-of-the-season contender and another Jason Þórhallursson triple.

Despite a much higher league-wide scoring tempo than last season, hat-tricks have still been surprisingly hard to come by for people not currently being sued for paternity by three different cadet branches of the same royal family. So it proved for the Ducks, with two apiece for Nikolai Jalmarisson and Rato Guðmannsson, and the Northern Wolves, who shared their three goals out between Hæming Tronsson, Henning Svarthus and Anne Davidsdóttir. Oost-Hartburg have struggled for single goals, never mind three of them; they haven’t scored once in almost two months and, having generously permitted Estdal to play at the PR-1070 Platz this season, found themselves mathematically relegated by them.

Folte 1–0 Mühlrich
Gunzlach 1–0 Hofvinger
Maigburg 2–0 Estdal
Oost-Hartburg 2–3 Steinaux
Molding 1–0 Altendalur
Fliserboding 0–1 Korsbach

Titles of fan match reports on each game. (Not included: fan reports ranging from fawning paeans to middling defenders who happen to play in the right color shirt to savage invectives about talented young forwards who happen to play in the wrong color shirt.)

Striding On: “Big Fred Nods In Late Winner”

Inside The Turtle Shell: “Very Awful Refereeing: Why The Decision Review System Isn’t Enough”

Gunnar’s Gunners: “Superior Gunners Brush Aside Northern Puppies”

The Northern Wolf Pack: “Völundursson Out! Click Here To Sign Petition”

We Are The Catbears, Hear Us Meow-Roar: “How To Build On Successful Season As IFCF Places Still Within Sight”

Quack Attack: “Frustrating Defeat Shows Defensive Issues The Main Problem To Be Fixed”

OspreyZone: “Five-Goal Thriller Sees Ospreys Show The Class That Proves We Belong In The Premier League”

Forever Sizzling: “Commemorate Petter Erlingsson’s Fantastic Winner With This Exclusive Key-Chain!!”

The Shrewhole: “Bold Shrews! Brilliant Performance All But Guarantees IFCF Place Next Season”

En Passant: “Not So Black And White! Late Mikaelsson Goal Throws Title Race Into Chaos!”

The Cabbage Patch: “MUST READ: 6-Year Old Writes Personal Letter Begging Kristoffersdóttir To Stay”

Sabre Rattling: “We’re Staying Up! Star Simonsdóttir Salvages Sabres’ Survival!”

Fliserboding 2–4 Folte
Korsbach 0–1 Molding
Altendalur 1–0 Oost-Hartburg
Steinaux 2–0 Maigburg
Estdal 2–1 Gunzlach
Hofvinger 1–0 Mühlrich

Moving day: a couple of things were decisively settled, and one thing was decisively not. ‘The other Háttmark derby’ was an exciting affair, low on goals but full of chances for both teams: super-sub Folke Mikaelsson’s second late winner in as many games ensured Molding will take the fourth IFCF spot, though celeberations were muted as veteran center back Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson announced after the match that the next game would be his last. Xander Augustine’s ‘molding’ get it of the team to his offensive philosophy has worked pretty well this season. With a little more consistency they could look to be title contenders. Which, weirdly, is also a statement applicable to Gunzlach, who can now finish no higher (nor lower) than third. It’s been a stunning fall from seemingly certain domination since the second half of the season began, though some might point to the ‘real’ Háttmark derby as where the rot began, making next week’s rematch all the tastier. This week, the Gunners blew another lead, kindly donating a penalty and an own goal to make it really easy for the Ducks.

Altendalur remain in the title hunt thanks to Joen Aðalmundursson, who came on as a sub to score a late goal, and Thomas Quinnipag, who had kept them in the game to that point. Hofvinger won’t be returning to the IFCF next season, and manager Noel Völundursson won’t be returning to the TQG Langvöllur Arena next season (which is smart, because if he did, they’d do unmentionable things to his entrails). Speaking of returns, Fliserboding will be returning to Division 1. Sara Kristoffersdóttir? Might not be. The rumors continue to swirl, but if she does leave, the Locusts should try to get enough to be able to afford a giant gold statue of her (or preferably, put the stacks of cash to use buying a much better defense than the one that let in 4 to more than cancel out her 2 wonderful goals against Folte).

All of which means we know just about everything heading into the final week – who’s going to be relegated, who’s going to the IFCF, who’s going to win the Gold Boot and be pictured in flagrante delicto with a Viktorsdóttir’s Leyndardómur model at the awards ceremony – except for the big cahuna. Who will win the Premier League? Join us next week for live coverage of the final games...

   Premier League        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Steinaux 21 13 7 1 33 11 +22 46
2 Altendalur 21 14 3 4 28 9 +19 45
3 Gunzlach 21 12 4 5 49 29 +20 40
4 Molding 21 10 6 5 31 22 +9 36
5 Hofvinger 21 8 5 8 21 16 +5 29
6 Folte 21 7 7 7 25 24 +1 28
7 Maigburg 21 8 4 9 24 27 −3 28
8 Estdal 21 7 6 8 28 33 −5 27
9 Mühlrich 21 8 2 11 25 33 −8 26
10 Korsbach 21 7 3 11 23 31 −8 24
11 Fliserboding 21 3 5 13 21 47 −26 14
12 Oost-Hartburg 21 1 4 16 12 38 −26 7
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Postby Graintfjall » Tue Sep 15, 2020 12:47 pm

Græntfjall Cup

It would be an east-west clash in the Cup final as Hintersfjörður, demoted from the Premier League last season, meet Gunzlach, smarting over the end to their League hopes.

Tuldam 1–3 Gunzlach
Hintersfjörður 1–0 Schwakirchen

Græntfjall Premier League

Excerpts from the live text feed of the GTV.græ rolling coverage:

KICK-OFF Welcome to our coverage of all six final games of the season, being played simultaneously. Reminder of the various permutations that will decide the title. If Steinaux win, that’s it, they’re the champions. But they’re playing arch-rivals Gunzlach, who won’t want to give them anything. If they draw, Altendalur could pass them with a win. If Steinaux lose by four goals or more and Altendalur win or draw, it’s the Chessmen who’ll go top; anything less and Steinaux will be first, with the head-to-head and goal difference advantage. Oh, and some other games are happening.

10’ GREAT SAVE (Maigburg 0–0 Altendalur) Quinnipag goes airborne to deny Paulina Philipsdóttir! She’s hit a few from that sort of distance this season but Quinnipag was equal to it this time. How important could that save be in the context of the championship?

11’ GOAL (Oost-Hartburg 0–1 Korsbach) Svangeir Jarfisson becomes the 14th person to score for Korsbach this season. Leads all teams. Yet no one player with more than 5. Which epitomises, in some ways, Korsbach’s exceptionally unexceptional season. And letting in a soft goal like that definitely epitomises Oost-Hartburg’s season.

18’ GOAL (Folte 0–1 Hofvinger) The Northern Wolves, being overseen by a caretaker manager while they put out the feelers for a replacement, take the lead through a nicely taken shot from Lyngar Rögnvaldursson. Can’t help but feel that if he hadn’t been missing easy chances like that a month ago Völundursson might still have a job.

29’ GOAL (Folte 0–2 Hofvinger) Hæming Tronsson makes it two. Hofvinger look comfortable, Folte look done. Poor clearance landed straight at Tronsson’s feet with time to line up his shot, and he made no mistake.

31’ PENALTY SHOUT (Folte 0–2 Hofvinger) Fredrik Aaronsson clearly feels he was fouled there but no interest from the referee. As it is the ball’s run out for a corner. Still protesting his case. They’re going to check on VAR. Decision is – no penalty.

31’ GOAL (Folte 1–2 Hofvinger) After all that, Lara Auðunsdóttir just scores from open play anyway! The corner was played out to her on the edge of the box and she hit a driving half-volley that smacked in off the underside of the bar. 10th goal of the season for Auðunsdóttir.

31’ CHANCE (Mühlrich 0–0 Estdal) Well doesn’t that just sum up Love Nilsson’s insipid season. Put through on goal and he caresses the ball gently into Álfar Brunosson’s arms.

45+2’ GREAT SAVE (Gunzlach 0–0 Steinaux) On the stroke of half-time, Þórhallursson with a brilliant turn and a sharp shot across his body, acrobatically saved at full stretch by Théosson. Ball caroms into the crowd where it’s snatched up by some Gunzlach fans who are showing their support for Altendalur’s title aspirations with some spectacularly ill-conceived face painting. Not so much the ones in white who are the problem. Still goalless here and at Maigburg. As things stand, the Sausages will be the champions.

53’ DISALLOWED GOAL (Maigburg 0–0 Altendalur) Has Móri Ísidórsson just won Steinaux the title? The Catbear Crowd are going crazy, but the referee, having awarded a goal, is now consulting upstairs. Showing the replay in the ground. It was a good corner, powerfully met by the center-back who’s headed well this season but I don’t think that is going to count. Pretty clearly came off his arm, actually the more replay is shown the more you wonder how it was given in the first place! They show some Steinaux fans on the big screen, looking very nervous. They should relax. What’s the worst that could happen?

54’ GOAL (Gunzlach 1–0 Steinaux) The worst has happened. For Steinaux anyway, the Chessmen will be delirious as the news feeds through. Jason Þórhallursson with a superb header from a Gabríel Svennsson corner to break the deadlock. The Gunners are cheering like they’ve won the title! Wouldn’t they love to piss in Steinaux’s coffee here at the Grand National Arena.

57’ GOAL (Oost-Hartburg 0–2 Korsbach) Bodil Alexandersdóttir has livened things up a bit since coming on as a half-time sub. Rattled the bar, forced a good save – and now a great solo effort, dribbling in from the left wing and a shot across goal. Perhaps intended as a cross? It’s a goal either way.

63’ GOAL (Molding 0–1 Fliserboding) Oh, Fliserboding, how we shall miss your flashes of brilliance next season. Sara Kristoffersdóttir, with a swerving shot through traffic that made it impossible to see until the last minute. This is a richly talented, if slightly impetuous, young woman with a huge future ahead of her. Perhaps not with the Locusts.

69’ GOAL (Molding 1–1 Fliserboding) Oh, Fliserboding, how we shall miss your shambolic defensive inadequacy next season. An hour’s good work undone as Folke Mikaelsson is allowed to walk in unmarked and just place his header wherever he wants. In this case he wants to put it in the back of the net. Wise choice, Folke. Sara Kristoffersdóttir has her head in her hands, can’t watch the replay. Wise choice, Sara.

73’ GOAL (Gunzlach 1–1 Steinaux) That’s huge! Geurkink with an awesome strike that may have just won the league for Steinaux! A draw is all they need so long as Altendalur are all tied up. Oh, but we’re getting another goal alert coming in now…

74’ GOAL (Maigburg 0–1 Altendalur) …advantage Altendalur! Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir cracks the nut after 74 minutes of frustration. Chessmen mob the diminutive striker. All she really did was arrive in the right place at the right time, Andrin Franklínsson’s cross was there for her on a platter to turn in.

76’ GOAL (Gunzlach 1–2 Steinaux) Petter Erlingsson rifles home a winner to break Altendalur hearts! How fitting for the long serving club captain, who’s led them so brilliantly in the wake of the loss of strike partner Justiina Dannysdóttir, to be the one to score here. ‘Give me an S’ rings out. Not sure if they trying to spell ‘Steinaux’ or ‘Sausages’. ‘H’. Oh, it’s the Gunzlach fans, and they’re definitely not spelling either. ‘I’.

79’ GOAL (Gunzlach 2–2 Steinaux) Momoko Wakabayashi collects in the Gunzlach half. Bringing it forward, past a tired challenge. Past two tired challenges. Steinaux playing for the whistle but the whistle isn’t coming for another ten minutes. Still Wakabayashi. Still Wakabayashi! She scores the kind of wonder goal she’s seemed capable of all season! And with that, Steinaux plummet to second place, unless they can snatch a goal in the remaining minutes! Altendalur go top!

86’ SUBSTITUTION (Molding 1–1 Fliserboding) Lovely moment at the Spajoküm Arena as the crowd rise as one to applaud off Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson, who is being replaced by Fredrik Thorleifsson. Final time this veteran will grace the field for Molding. Sara Kristoffersdóttir rolling her eyes and making a ‘get on with it’ motion to the referee. Classy stuff.

90+2’ RED CARD (Mühlrich 0–0 Estdal) Johan Hervinsson brings down Valentin Runesson. He’s already on a booking – and that’s a second yellow. Sent off in the dying minutes of a game that both teams would like to be over. And now the players are tussling, discipline breaking down, this is really very poor.

FULL TIME And it’s confirmed as finally the whistle goes. Gardener looks like she wants to be given a stiff drink. Jvarsson looks like he wants to be given a sick bucket. Erlingsson looks like he wants to be given a blindfold and a cigarette. Þórhallursson and Wakabayashi modestly celebrate what is after all just a draw for Gunzlach. Gunners fans celebrate like they’ve won the World Cup. News filtering through to the VG Arena? Yes, the small band of Chessmen there are going absolutely bananas! Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir being chaired around the field, although perhaps it was Quinnipag whose save proved crucial. Wolfgangsdóttir a bit easier to lift, though. And when they’ve put her down, it will be the trophy they lift:

Altendalur are the champions!

Folte 1–2 Hofvinger
Mühlrich 0–0 Estdal
Gunzlach 2–2 Steinaux
Maigburg 0–1 Altendalur
Oost-Hartburg 0–2 Korsbach
Molding 1–1 Fliserboding

   Premier League        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Altendalur 22 15 3 4 29 9 +20 48
2 Steinaux 22 13 8 1 35 13 +22 47
3 Gunzlach 22 12 5 5 51 31 +20 41
4 Molding 22 10 7 5 32 23 +9 37

5 Hofvinger 22 9 5 8 23 17 +6 32
6 Folte 22 7 7 8 26 26 0 28
7 Maigburg 22 8 4 10 24 28 −4 28
8 Estdal 22 7 7 8 28 33 −5 28
9 Korsbach 22 8 3 11 25 31 −6 27
10 Mühlrich 22 8 3 11 25 33 −8 27
11 Fliserboding 22 3 6 13 22 48 −26 15
12 Oost-Hartburg 22 1 4 17 12 40 −28 7

Join us next time for the Cup Final, final standings of the lower leagues, and the GPL Awards ceremony.
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Postby Graintfjall » Wed Sep 16, 2020 3:07 pm

Lower Leagues

   Division 1            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Hagejoki 30 17 5 8 43 34 +9 56
2 Hinteram 30 16 6 8 49 44 +5 54

3 Lammedal 30 15 6 9 49 43 +6 51
4 Hintersfjörður 30 15 5 10 68 47 +21 50
5 Þingsnitz 30 14 8 8 63 56 +7 50
6 Lengschach 30 14 6 10 47 40 +7 48
7 Kuodorf 30 13 6 11 33 26 +7 45
8 Kyrkdorf 30 12 8 10 77 73 +4 44
9 Kirchmegen 30 12 6 12 54 53 +1 42
10 Reschensreppur 30 12 5 13 45 46 −1 41
11 Mokofen 30 10 7 13 54 54 0 37
12 Kochhavn 30 9 7 14 47 56 −9 34
13 Edlidolz 30 9 5 16 45 56 −11 32
14 Gründorf 30 9 5 16 49 62 −13 32
15 Schwakirchen 30 9 4 17 47 60 −13 31
16 Putzendorf 30 6 7 17 37 57 −20 25

   Division 2A           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Diepoldsburg 26 15 5 6 64 41 +23 50
2 Tromskowitz 26 13 7 6 32 19 +13 46
3 Lehberg 26 12 9 5 38 23 +15 45
4 Notschach 26 12 7 7 42 34 +8 43
5 Tuldam 26 12 6 8 42 32 +10 42
6 Järvendorf 26 11 9 6 34 28 +6 42
7 Paschvík 26 12 5 9 49 42 +7 41
8 Schudvík 26 10 6 10 54 57 −3 36
9 Gerstungtal 26 8 10 8 42 42 0 34
10 Ostholm 26 8 8 10 49 49 0 32
11 Harmersgrunn 26 6 8 12 38 55 −17 26
12 Lohrreith 26 5 10 11 22 31 −9 25
13 Haafberg 26 4 5 17 51 75 −24 17
14 Vildkappel 26 3 7 16 22 51 −29 16

   Division 2B           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Voleln 22 13 4 5 42 23 +19 43
2 Aigsvinger 22 12 5 5 26 13 +13 41
3 Frederiksfahrn 22 10 5 7 20 18 +2 35
4 Esna 22 9 6 7 25 17 +8 33
5 Væggerfried 22 10 3 9 26 30 −4 33
6 Ilsburg 22 9 5 8 26 22 +4 32
7 Nordmarksdorf 22 9 3 10 30 32 −2 30
8 Laitwinkl 22 8 5 9 19 25 −6 29
9 Kangasdorf 22 8 4 10 19 20 −1 28
10 Gstockmäki 22 7 3 12 16 29 −13 24
11 Goesberg 22 6 4 12 19 26 −7 22
12 Haderhavn 22 7 1 14 15 28 −13 22

Græntfjall Cup

Ultimately it wasn’t even close. Gunzlach’s gulf in class over Hintersfjörður was epitomised by having three foreign players score their goals: Momoko Wakabayashi, Antoni Savushnikov, and Jiraff Wang; Hintersfjörður not only didn’t even have three foreign players on their entire game day roster, they didn’t have any. For those hoping for an upset, or just a close match, it was a bit of a disappointment; for Gunzlach, it allowed them to claim a title, even if it was very much not the one they would have chosen at the start of the season.

Gunzlach 3–0 Hintersfjörður

GPL Awards

Statistical Awards

Gold Boot: Jason Þórhallursson (Gunzlach) – 26 goals
Silver Boot: Lara Auðunsdóttir (Folte) – 10 goals
Bronze Boot: Hanne Heikkisdóttir (Molding) – 9 goals

Gold Gloves: Thomas Quinnipag [ZWZ] (Altendalur) – 14 clean-sheets
Silver Gloves: Isac Théosson (Steinaux) – 13 clean-sheets
Bronze Gloves: Patrik Thörnqvist [FFD] (Hofvinger) – 10 clean-sheets

Fair Play Award: Folte – 18 yellow cards, 0 red cards

Technical Awards
Voted on by a technical committee consisting of a weighted membership of pundits, writers, statisticians, sponsors, referees, and miscellaneous KG technical officials, who all get together in a really big room, consider a multitude of important factors, and then give all the awards to Háttmark teams while the Altendalur reps sit in the corner crying.

Manager of the Year: Bjarnveig Lyngarsdóttir (Maigburg)
Auno Laurinsson, who took Altendalur to their first title, and Chromatikan Xander Augustine, who took Molding to their first IFCF, were runners-up to Lyngarsdóttir, who had newly promoted Maigburg in the top half of the table for much of the season.

Most Valuable Player: Jason Þórhallursson (Gunzlach)
Despite Gunzlach’s disastrous choke from the seemingly unassailable heights of the first half of the season, the committee were unanimous on the choice of MVP as the Gunzlach striker broke his own scoring record and displayed a touch that was simply beyond that of anyone else in the league, all at the age of 21. Two Steinaux strikers, Justiina Dannysdóttir and Petter Erlingsson, were runners-up.

Most Outstanding Player: Jason Þórhallursson (Gunzlach)
Awarded for the first time. The committee made this new award redundant by giving it to the same player as the MVP, though based on the runners-up – attacking midfielders Sara Kristoffersdóttir of Fliserboding and Natasja Hólmarsdóttir of Maigburg – the intention for the future seems to be to recognize players who had good individual seasons regardless of their team’s overall record.

Young Player of the Year: Sara Kristoffersdóttir (Fliserboding)
Players are only allowed to win this award once, meaning previous winner Þórhallursson wasn’t eligible; the committee could thus recognize Kristoffersdóttir, who turned 17 during the season and lit up an otherwise dreadful Fliserboding team with some spectacular goals and incredible feats of individual skill. Natasja Hólmarsdóttir and Folte forward Lara Auðunsdóttir were the runners-up.

Defensive Player of the Year: Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson (Molding)
Awarded for the first time. This new award, created because strikers, wingers and attacking midfielders tend to dominate the general awards, didn’t serve to add much positional variety as only center backs ended up getting mentions. It was also the only major award for which a player on the championship side even received a nomination, although Altendalur’s Tom Ernestisson still finished as runner-up to Hjörleifursson in what was seen as something of a retirement present. The other runner-up, Steinaux’s Hjörleifur Reynarsson, was quietly perceived as a more deserving winner.

Foreign Player of the Year: Richard Armada [MBT] (Mühlrich)
Awarded for the first time. A well contested award with many worthwhile names in the running, the committee chose the Mareibatian striker, who didn’t rack up a big individual goal count but showed a lot of skill leading a Mühlrich team that struggled for offensive talent otherwise. Jovannic midfielder Jiraff Wang of Gunzlach finished as runner-up along with Grearish left back Jasmine Gardener of Steinaux. Interestingly, despite the most foreign players and the champions’ title, no Altendalur player featured, reflecting either a good team performance [according to the committee’s reasoning] or a hopeless Háttmark bias [according to Altendalur fans].

Team of the Year:
  • GK: Thomas Quinnipag [ZWZ] (Altendalur)
  • DF: Thorn Tristram [NPH] (Altendalur); Hjörleifur Reynarsson (Steinaux); Ralf Álfarsson (Folte); Jasmine Gardener [GRU] (Steinaux)
  • MF: Bríana Noahsdóttir (Steinaux); Jiraff Wang [JOV] (Gunzlach); Álfar Ásvaldursson (Mühlrich); Helder Geurkink [SRS] (Steinaux)
  • FW: Jason Þórhallursson (Gunzlach); Justiina Dannysdóttir (Steinaux)
The committee had a strict mandate to stick to positional representation, which led to a more ‘realistic’ selection than the fan vote, and, with five foreign players, one that better reflected their true impact on the season. There was still scope for controversy as second-place Steinaux led the selections with five players chosen, ahead of just two from champions Altendalur, which infuriated fans of the Chessmen.

Fan Awards
There were of course hundreds of unofficial awards dished out by everything from serious magazines to clickbait websites in categories that ranged from best goal and best player to best hair and best meme, but the only fan awards officially recognized by the KG were run through the Háttmark Harbinger’s website.

People’s Player of the Year: Jason Þórhallursson (Gunzlach)

Rising Star Award: Sara Kristoffersdóttir (Fliserboding)

Favorite Foreign Player: Momoko Wakabayashi [HIN] (Gunzlach)

People’s Team of the Year:
  • GK: Thomas Quinnipag [ZWZ] (Altendalur)
  • DF: Paulina Philipsdóttir (Maigburg); Tom Ernestisson (Altendalur); Vigfús Bensson (Steinaux); Hjörleifur Reynarsson (Steinaux)
  • MF: Sara Kristoffersdóttir (Fliserboding); Natasja Hólmarsdóttir (Maigburg); Johanna Álvgeirsdóttir (Folte); Hanne Heikkisdóttir (Molding)
  • FW: Jason Þórhallursson (Gunzlach); Momoko Wakabayashi [HIN] (Gunzlach)
Only two foreign players made the cut for the rather one-eyed voting public, who also picked three center backs in defense, and three central midfielders and a forward for their midfield selections. The spread of teams was more evenly represented than the official vote, however.

People’s Moment of the Year: Petter Erlingsson (Steinaux)
Ahead of various goal of the season contenders, Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir’s championship-winning strike, Fliserboding’s upset of Gunzlach, or Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson’s emotional final match, voters chose to honor the veteran striker comforting Estdal defender Keld Juliansson, holding the young man’s hand as medics tended to him after he had fallen to the ground with a freak injury. The somewhat less misty-eyed readers of tabloid ND instead voted as their moment of the year 5’3” Sara Kristoffersdóttir telling 6’8” Ralf Álfarsson to “suck my balls” after he objected to her heavy tackle.

Other Awards

Players’ Player of the Year: Jason Þórhallursson (Gunzlach)
Voted on by all members of the GUPFP.

Managers’ Manager of the Year: Xander Augustine [CMT] (Molding)
Voted on by all GPL managers.

Spirit of the Game Award: Petter Erlingsson (Steinaux)
Voted on by GPL match officials.

Goal of the Season: Jason Þórhallursson (Gunzlach) v Molding
Voted on by GTV viewers, the top ten lacked in imagination, featuring two Hanne Heikkisdóttir free-kicks, two Paulina Philipsdóttir long-range shots, two bits of Sara Kristoffersdóttir magic, and two Momoko Wakabayashi solo efforts, her end-of-season stunner that killed off Steinaux’s championship hopes making it into the top three, perhaps preferred on the basis of context to her objectively more worthy strike against Mühlrich. Second was Altendalur defender Tom Ernestisson’s ridiculous curving shot against Fliserboding, measured at 37 yards from kick to goal. Þórhallursson, though normally more known for efficiency than spectacle, deservedly won for his acrobatic left-footed volley against Molding.

Fantasy Player of the Year: Momoko Wakabayashi [HIN] (Gunzlach)
Given out by the Waltenberg Daily, who run a popular fantasy football competition. Although Þórhallursson scored the most points he also had the highest base price and was thus finally beaten to an award by his teammate; based on a cost-value analysis of players, Wakabayashi was the best buy. Unknown coming into the season, she ended up leading the league in assists (admittedly helped by who she was playing behind); she also picked up 8 goals of her own, had 0 bookings or own goals, and was classed as a striker and thus avoided being penalized by Gunzlach’s poor defensive record. In contrast to the official and fan selections, their team of the year was stacked with six Altendalur players.
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Postby Graintfjall » Sun Oct 25, 2020 9:51 am

New Season

I literally cannot be fucked to do previews so let’s just dive straight into MD1.

Maigburg 0
Hagejoki 1
Uglubathr Simonsson Image (62’)
Benn Nava Image (77’)
Ásgeir Lennartsson Image (84’) Image (84’)

Molding 2
Mathias Kristersson Image (16’)
Michael Arciniega Image (31’)
Kaiden Hunt Image (83’)

Altendalur 2
Ryan Lippe-Berg Image (31’)
Tyler Prentice Image (50’)
Hans Larsson Image (60’) Image (67’)

Folte 1
Simon McCabe Image (73’)
Tom Burton Image (76’)
Ryker Franco Image (80’)

Estdal 0
Rato Guðmannsson Image (90’)
Morgan Slavicka Image (90+1’)

Korsbach 0
Bodil Alexandersdóttir Image (59’)
Gunzlach 3
Liam Hughes Image (22’)
Jade Miansdóttir Image (30’)
Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir Image Image (50’, 58’)

Hinteram 0
Amalie Poulsdóttir Image (18’)
Benoný Ísarrsson Image (55’)
Asbjørn Hervarðursson Image (62’)
Finnlaugur Dansson Image (73’)
Marvin Jokulsson Image (74’)

Mühlrich 1
Âlárî Dírrôùjý Image (8’)
Stanimir Kowić Image (36’)
Naomi Hagalínsdóttir Image (51’)
Álfar Ásvaldursson Image (61’)

Steinaux 5
Li Jing Image (2’)
Hrærekur Jvarsson Image Image Image (28’ pen., 56’ pen., 81’)
Hjörleifur Reynarsson Image (58’)

Hofvinger 0
Marcel Úlftýrsson Image (28’) Image (56’)
Dario Þórormursson Image (49’)
David Marcsson Image (69’)
Nathaniel Auvergne Image (84’)

The season got underway with the earliest ever start to a domestic season in Græntfjall, pushed up in order to accommodate international and IFCF fixtures. The result was small clusters of new foreign signings taking to rock-solid fields in gloves and thermals, and no doubt regretting fervently their decision to sign to play in such a frozen hellscape. The quality of MD1 football perhaps also reflected this, with ill-discipline plaguing several games. Some good teams failed to put on their best showing, while the richer clubs with deeper bench strength ran riot, racking up huge wins against opponents who spent more time gazing forlornly in the direction of the hot showers than they did defending their goals with any great tenacity.

The Friday evening season opener was a pretty dull affair between newly promoted Hagejoki and last season’s success story, Maigburg. The Catbears welcomed back Eiríka Jonathansdóttir after missing all last season injured, but she was rather ineffective and looked short of match fitness, subbed before the hour mark. Ásgeir Lennartsson’s lame toe-poke broke a listless tie, and wasn’t quite worthy of the exuberant celebrations that earned him a booking, presumably for being stupid enough to take off his shirt in conditions cold enough to freeze off his nipples. There’s an image to stay with you for the rest of the season.

Things picked up a little on Saturday. Defending champions Altendalur stuttered, shaken by a poor off-season transfer window. In half an hour they were 2 goals and 1 man down, Ryan Lippe-Berg having had such fun being sent off in the opening game of last season that he decided to repeat the experience here. Michael Arciniega, one of Molding’s several new Chromatik signings under compatriot manager Xander Augustine, thrashed in the free-kick from Lippe-Berg’s awful challenge to make it 2 – 0 after Mathias Kristersson had earlier nodded in his corner. Tyler Prentice and new Zwangzugian signing Hans Larsson managed to pull things back in the second half, but it was far from a commanding beginning to a title defense for the Chessemen, while the Gold Shrews looked very sharp.

Elsewhere, Folte’s army of South Newlandians and Estdal’s army of Farves waged a war of attrition decided by Simon McCabe’s head, though Rato Guðmannsson was incensed to have what should have been a late equalizer ruled out by the most marginal of off-side calls. Gunzlach thrashed Korsbach, who many pundits have tipped as needing to battle to avoid relegation. Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir, who inspired such joy in Altendalur last season with her title-winning goal, inspired teeth-gnashing fury there during the off-season by signing with their hated North Háttmark rivals. Thus far, the eyebrow-raising tactic of replacing the 6’4” Jason Þórhallursson with the 5’0” Wolfgangsdóttir is working out for the Gunners; she scored twice, and the $6.5 million transfer fee received for him looked well spent on a much-improved defense. Âlárî Dírrôùjý’s debut goal was enough for Mühlrich in an ill-tempered affair at Hinteram.

On Sunday, it was time to get down on your knees and pray. If you were a Hofvinger supporter, you were praying “please God, make it stop”. God, apparently, is a Steinaux supporter. The Sausages had been looking for an offensive playmaker and if Li Jing wasn’t the biggest name signing of the off-season, he could be one of the more important ones, looking capable of holding their offense together. He scored within 90 seconds and was involved throughout the game as last season’s runners-up began their campaign to go one better in style. Hrærekur Jvarsson’s hat-trick, typically, involved two penalties and a header from a corner; he barely made a single attacking move from open play. He didn’t need to, as the Northern Wolves sank terribly. A team looking to climb back in the top 4, instead the Northern Wolves just looked about fit to climb into a bathtub with a toaster.

Tables from MD2 onward, as well as the exciting network debut of Footballer’s Wives: Græntfjall.
Last edited by Graintfjall on Sun Oct 25, 2020 4:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Graintfjall » Tue Nov 17, 2020 8:31 am


Estdal 2
Rato Guðmannsson Image (31’)
Milli Filipsson Image (38’)
Sigrid Fabiansdóttir Image (78’) Image (90’)
Eduard Endosson Image (84’)

Korsbach 3
Margaux Torkildsdóttir Image (56’)
Bodil Alexandersdóttir Image (68’)
Melina Nicosdóttir Image (80’) Image (87’)
Tao Beiliang Image (90+4’)

Mühlrich 2
Hrærekur Jvarsson Image (23’ o.g.)
Richard Armada Image (32’) Image (50’)

Steinaux 2
Petter Erlingsson Image (51’)
Ásvarður Bergmundursson Image (60’)

Gunzlach 1
Berthe Saunier Image (78’)
Momoko Wakabayashi Image (81’)
Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir Image (83’)

Hinteram 0
Gunnvaldur Hannessson Image (17’)
Benoný Ísarrsson Image (50’)
Tomislaw Radowić Image (83’)

Hagejoki 0
Ophelia Crider Image (42’)
Benn Nava Image (45+3’)
Sølvi Jimsdóttir Image (87’)

Hofvinger 1
Lyngar Rögnvaldursson Image (27’)
Philip Koszela Image (38’)
Nikolai Jalmarisson Image (65’)
Hæming Tronsson Image (66’)

Maigburg 0
Móri Ísidórsson Image (66’)
Molding 1
Folke Mikaelsson Image (90’)

Altendalur 3
Tyler Prentice Image (14’)
Logan Osborn Image (58’)
Thorn Tristram Image (71’)

Folte 1
Jack Kells Image (43’)
Ralf Álfarsson Image (70’)
Ryker Franco Image (89’)
On Friday, Estdal formally opened their new stadium, the New Skoðarhüb. It was a modest ceremony, with few fireworks. Those were reserved for the game. The Ducks bossed things early on but weren’t able to convert their chances into goals: even Rato Guðmannsson’s eventual score took three attempts to hack in from less than a yard out. The second half exploded into a chaotic end-to-end race-to-the-defensive-bottom, and Tao Beiliang ruined the party by unleashing a 25 yard screamer four minutes deep into a fraught 8 minutes of added time.

Saturday started with a bang in a battle of tradition and innovation. The dour, conservative Turtles manufactured a startling 2 – 0 half-time lead over the flashy, expensive Sausages. But Steinaux’s deep benches told in the second half: after Petter Erlingsson hauled one back, his replacement Ásvarður Bergmundursson netted the equalizer. Cross-town rivals Gunzlach followed Steinaux’s uninspired lead, struggling through 83 scoreless minutes against Hinteram before Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir could latch onto a Momoko Wakabayashi cross. There was concern for Machinists goalkeeper Ásvaldur Ernstsson, who went off after a clash of heads (for which the blameless Berthe Saunier was unfairly booked). The other games both ended with 1 – 0 wins for the visitors, but the two games were played out in starkly different manners. The Harlequins, buoyed by their winning start to the season, proved a challenge for a frustrated Hofvinger. New signing Nikolai Jalmarisson eventually scored the winner for the Northern Wolves to finish a flowing passage of play orchestrated by fellow new arrival Nathaniel Auvergne, but struggling to beat lowly Hagejoki wasn’t the bounce-back Hofvinger wanted. By contrast, Molding were utterly rampant over Maigburg – except when it came to finishing things off. Sófus Fólkisson made save after save, including two penalties. Molding’s quality eventually told when Folke Mikaelsson came off the bench to head in a winner, but it was no good sign for their title aspirations that the Gold Shrews had almost blown three points.

After all that excitement, Altendalur and Folte gave those sleeping off a heavy Saturday night a nice calm, relaxing climb-down on Sunday with the dullest game imaginable. Folte were missing three players with food poisoning and, but for an impetuous counter-attack by right-back Jack Kells, it was very one-sided. The Striders had been talked about as IFCF or even title contenders coming into the season; the gulf between them and the Chessmen quieted that and right quick. All three Altendalur goals came from Tyler Prentice free-kicks: the first directly, the second two off various other parts of the anatomy of Logan Osborn and Thorn Tristram. It meant that two games into the season Gunzlach had already established a clear lead over everyone else, and that the top 4 clubs were exactly as predicted. Exciting gameplay was still producing predictable results.

   Premier League        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Gunzlach 2 2 0 0 4 0 +4 6
2 Steinaux 2 1 1 0 7 2 +5 4
3 Altendalur 2 1 1 0 5 3 +2 4
4 Molding 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
Mühlrich 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
6 Hagejoki 2 1 0 1 1 1 0 3
7 Folte 2 1 0 1 2 3 −1 3
8 Korsbach 2 1 0 1 3 5 −2 3
9 Hofvinger 2 1 0 1 1 5 −4 3
10 Estdal 2 0 0 2 2 4 −2 0
Hinteram 2 0 0 2 0 2 −2 0
Maigburg 2 0 0 2 0 2 −2 0

The new stadium was not the only exciting novelty premiering this week, which also saw a new series of Footballer’s Wives: Græntfjall.

FWG has been a regular feature of GTV’s sports programming. A documentary exploring the impact of the transition from communist-era football to the new professional league on relationships off the field, it was shot in a staid, utilitarian style and presented as an educational work. The initial focus was center back Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson and his two sister-wives (an ancient Græntfjaller practice rejected by the Church, mostly discouraged in wider society, but not entirely illegal). This explains the punctuation in the title, which literally refers to the multiple wives of one single footballer, rather than Footballers’ Wives (and which is totally not a complete typo I only noticed now).

The show did not achieve great popularity during its early seasons: Hjörleifursson, the archetypal “BFG”, was a decent but fundamentally boring man whose interests outside football extended to little but working out and farming goats, while his wives were modest women typical of the “footballer’s wife” stereotype of the late Communist era, hard-working, faithful, and somewhat reserved. It did not make for gripping drama and long stretches of episodes would be taken up with Hjörleifursson lifting weights while his wives performed mundane chores such as baking and dusting. It was less fly-on-the-wall than paint-drying-on-the-wall, one catty reviewer noted.

This season, with Hjörleifursson having now retired (to go off and farm goats, presumably), the series was heavily revamped, to accompany the roll-out of GTV Sports+’s flashy new all-access package. In order to ensure more exciting material made it to air a wider cast of characters was solicited, with a greater variety of relationships showcased: in fact, fewer than half of the main cast are technically “footballer’s wives”. The title was kept for branding purposes and because some of the billboards are really, really tall and changing the logo would need a really, really long ladder.

The new show proved a sensational hit. Modest first-night viewing figures from those no doubt fearing a repeat of the infamous “Mrs and Mrs Hjörleifursson both roll pastry for ninety minutes” cliffhanger episode (spoiler: they made a nice pie) were instantly forgotten as overnight numbers on the web portal soared. It provoked a social media storm. “Trash television”, “the worst of the worst”, “showcasing the lowest dregs of humanity” and “instant garbage” were among the more positive reviews from snooty arts and culture critics. Viewers didn’t care, and the second episode won the night, completely dominating the airwaves.

Episode 1: Meet The New Wives

The first episode introduces a number of new main characters:

Karlína Mummisdóttir, wife of Steinaux striker Petter Erlingsson, generally regarded as the leading player in the country despite never representing the national team. Karlína was a famous model and has enjoyed a happy marriage to Petter: he famously retired himself, before ever being selected, from international duty so as to spend more time with his family. Karlína serves as something of a ‘group mom’ to the other wives and clearly sees herself as primus inter pares in the community of footballers’ wives. Her scenes never really manifest the spectacle the producers are hoping for: she seems genuinely amenable to almost everyone and goes out of her way to make new members of the community welcome. She and her husband appear to have a healthy, loving relationship. Which makes for terrible television. She is heavily featured in promotional materials owing to her fame but accounts for few actual minutes of screen time.

In contrast, Enesa Handanovic makes an immediately screen-grabbing impression. The Mytanar second wife of Steinaux midfielder Hrærekur Jvarsson, her loud outfits and loud personality, and in particular her shrieking animosity to Hrærekur’s ex-wife, model Jóhanna Janniksdóttir, inject exactly the sort of drama the producers were hoping for into the show’s veins. Jóhanna and Enesa’s barbed words to each other, constant tugs for Hrærekur’s attention, and attempts to launch rival fashion brands, fill much of the show’s running time.

Anna-Liisa Filipsdóttir, girlfriend of Steinaux defender Hjörleifur Reynarsson, is his childhood sweetheart who’s followed him on his journey from trundling around club football to becoming a breakout center-back star for the Sausages and winning national team selection. She has the appearance of a traditionally humble country girl, and the demeanor of a Lady Macbeth. She is determined that her husband become the next Steinaux captain and emerge as the national team’s star player. She enjoys giving arch, dramatic monologues in which she lays out her plots for domination and control. Her dull-witted boyfriend, whose ‘Hjörleifurisms’ have become cringe comedy hits in their own right, seems to have relatively little agency in all these plans.

Qiu Chun, girlfriend of recent Steinaux acquisition midfielder Li Jing, is new to the community. Chun is far more reserved than most of the other characters and mostly speaks in Yuezhouese (subtitled for viewers in not always accurate translation). She becomes something of a sleeper hit for her sardonic sense of humor, especially exhibited in cutting remarks about Græntfjaller weather, cuisine and culture, none of which she can plainly stand, and her fellow “wives”, of whom she shares an equally low opinion. Observant viewers are starting to suspect her command of Græntfjaller is better than she lets on, feigning incomprehension in order to extricate herself from awkward situations.

Bjarnfreður Didiersson, boyfriend of Molding center back Mathias Kristersson, is an interior designer (many of his appearances on the show are used to less than subtly pitch his own spin-off, ‘Bjarnfreður in the Bedroom!’, in which he would help couples jazz up their sleeping quarters). Ambitious and scheming, and an utter contrast to his monosyllabic boyfriend, the flamboyant Bjarnfreður divides opinion among viewers. Some are pleased a gay character is being featured given Græntfjall has not always enjoyed the most progressive laws on same-sex relationships; others wish the first gay character didn’t have to be such a flaming stereotype.

Stephanie Gunnersdóttir, wife of Molding right back Karoline Vernerisdóttir, is a graphic designer who clearly absolutely despises football. She has no interest in the game and is frustrated that her partner, who is part of the national team, spends so much time on the road. (Given Græntfjall’s short summer, football was previously not such a time-intensive profession, but the expansion of IFCF and international football has placed significant time demands on those playing at the top level.) She enjoys a frosty relationship with other wives, whom she looks down on. Much like Bjarnfreður, there’s a love-hate divide in the fandom over Stephanie: some see her as a voice of reason, clear-eyed about the negative cultural impact professionalism has had on Græntfjaller football, others see her as unnecessarily shrewish and unsupportive of her wife.

Tanja Matteosdóttir is the wife of Molding center back Fredrik Thorleifsson, who replaced Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson. Tanja thus serves as the most direct contrast between the wives on the original show and the new generation. A flashy young woman with a garish perma-tan and trademark hoop earrings almost large enough to fit a football through, she immediately stands out as a very different kind of wife than those associated with the communist era players. Her simultaneous aspirations for personal wealth independent of her husband and constant reliance on his name to obtain benefits and favors instantly make her a “love to hate” camp hit with viewers.

Kyrri Torbjørnsson is the boyfriend of Maigburg striker Eiríka Jonathansdóttir, who helped the Catbears win promotion to the GPL, only to miss the entirety of their debut season with a knee injury. They fortunately stayed up without her, the club has since signed two foreign strikers, and Eiríka is left feeling insecure about her place in the side and ability to return at full playing level. Kyrri is a supportive rock for her. Critics are divided as to whether the show is bringing a refreshing reversal of gender roles by having a boyfriend doing the emotional labor in supporting his footballer girlfriend – or whether the hunky masseuse Kyrri is just a slab of meat being thrown to the female viewers. Kyrri seems more than willing to play to the latter, constantly encountering situations in which he decides he’d “better pop this off” before ridding himself of his shirt.

The partners of Folte center back pairing Stefan Jokulsson and Ralf Álfarsson, known as the “Folte Towers” for their height and immobility, are both featured on the show. Ralf is at the end of his career, while Stefan is on the rise. Just as Ralf mentors Stefan, so his wife, Cathrine Timsdóttir, attempts to mentor Stefan’s girlfriend, Daniela Torstensdóttir. The two, however, form a far less effective pairing than their significant others, constantly arguing over perceived slights. They are mutually resentful, with Cathrine feeling slighted Daniela’s youthful lack of respect for her status as wife of the country’s de facto national captain, while Daniela envies Cathrine’s wealth and constantly enjoins her boyfriend to seek a bigger contract.

Keilah Ernstsdóttir is the ex-girlfriend of Gunzlach striker Jason Þórhallursson. While the show is mainly watched by women, among male viewers Keilah – a WhoTuber already very mildly famous prior to the show for her workout tutorials – appears to be the main draw, and has featured in steadily more promotional material, somewhat out of proportion to her relevance given she is not actually the wife or girlfriend of any current footballer. Critics have described as “blatant” and “scraping the barrel” the constant shots of her working out in tight exercise gear; one calculated that she spends two minutes of screen time applying sun lotion for every sentence of dialogue she utters. Producers continually tease a potential reunion between her and the country’s most marketable star, who appears utterly uninterested (and is playing in Banija anyway).

All of the above would make for much soapy trash, but the unquestioned breakout star has been Mia Ymirsdóttir, mother of Mühlrich and occasional national team midfielder Álfar Ásvaldursson. The big, brash Mia is an overbearing figure in the life of her son (whose burly appearance and knee-shattering tackles suggest he shouldn’t need much coddling) and plainly resentful of the appearance on the scene of his new wife, Ragnhild Leopoldsdóttir. Mia’s determination to make herself the center of attention as Álfar steadily rises in fame, becoming a national team call-up and winning player of the year nominations, her withering asides about Ragnhild, and her collection of fur coats that have made environmental groups call for boycotts of the show have all made her the new season’s breakout star.
Last edited by Graintfjall on Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:15 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Postby Graintfjall » Sun Nov 22, 2020 3:53 pm


Hofvinger 2
Lyngar Rögnvaldursson Image Image (14’, 45+1’)
Martyn Ceath Image (53’)

Mühlrich 2
Âlárî Dírrôùjý Image (51’)
Friedolin Marcelsson Image (64’)
Benjamin Polanski Image (74’)
Adam Petrisson Image (90’)

Steinaux 1
Petter Erlingsson Image (50’ pen.)
Hrærekur Jvarsson Image (23’)
Jasmine Gardener Image (53’)
Çè Quîrîjá Image (89’)

Gunzlach 0
Raimund Noffke Image (52’)

Molding 2
Karoline Vernerisdóttir Image (30’) Image (60’)
Ophelia Crider Image (52’ o.g.)

Hagejoki 1
Bjarki Floriansson Image (45+2’) Image (59’)
Leo Hólmarsson Image (66’)
Spike Owens Image (89’)
Valentin Ottisson Image (90’)

Korsbach 1
Noruose Nerauro Image (36’)
Melina Nicosdóttir Image (45+2’) Image (81’)
Tylor Carr Image (52’)
Katri Simonsdóttir Image (68’)
Ørjan Vífillsson Image (71’)

Altendalur 4
Ryan Lippe-Berg Image (6’) Image (43’)
Joen Aðalmundursson Image (49’)
Hans Larsson Image (60’)
Thorn Tristram Image (67’)

Hinteram 3
Bryce Jones Image (22’)
Benoný Ísarrsson Image (54’) Image (81’)
Sina Friedolinsdóttir Image (86’)

Estdal 3
Fabian Lukasson Image (9’)
Rato Guðmannsson Image (54’)
Erna Sunesdóttir Image (82’)
Magnus George Image (90+3’)

Folte 0
Stefan Jokulsson Image (63’)
Tom Burton Image (80’)

Maigburg 1
Jake Pole Image (12’)
Eiríka Jonathansdóttir Image (27’)
Arendt Árisson Image (67’)
The Friday night game was a real scrap, with Mühlrich battling back from a 2 – 0 half-time deficit at the TQG Langvöllur Arena. The two teams played with the frenzy of mid-table also-rans, knowing that games like this will decide whether they are permitted to sit at the top table with the ‘big four’ among the IFCF placings, or scrap down at the bottom of the table to avoid relegation. And, in all probability, after all that end the season smack bang in the middle with little or nothing to show for it. Lyngar Rögnvaldursson, out of favor with the national selectors, remains very much in favor with the Northern Wolf ultras, but Mühlrich’s foreign signings Âlárî Dírrôùjý and Benjamin Polanski pulled them back into the game.

The first ‘game of the season’ contender opened things up on Saturday. Last season the North Háttmark derby was the final game of the season, deciding the title. This time it comes just third, but that took none of the sting out of the encounter. The Gunners were keen to inflict a humiliating home defeat on the Sausages at their new Grander International Arena. The Sausages were having none of it, and rock solid defense prevailed for the first half as a frustrated Gunzlach knocked on the door but weren’t able to find the key to this particular metaphor. The second half exploded into dramatic action as Berthe Saunier was judged to have fouled in the area. Normally Hrærekur Jvarsson takes Steinaux’s penalties, but captain Petter Erlingsson was never going to relinquish the ball. He slammed it home in style, and led his team through a rocky second half that saw the Gunners blaze wide, blaze over – and ultimately, burn out.

Molding are quietly growing comfortable among the ‘big four’; hitherto a middling side, their Chromatik-led revival continues, although the lack of goals from their biggest signing, Alicia Gainsbourg, is just starting to rankle. Altendalur continued their strong form, thrashing a dreary Korsbach who would probably be relegation contenders if it weren’t for the travails of Estdal. Speaking of Estdal, they dropped an embarrassing two points to Hinteram. Rumors of dissent at the club over Cayo Punta’s somewhat manic managerial style grow louder; they needed an injury time header from Murphtannian center back Magnus George to avoid a third defeat. After all those goals, Sunday brought a little calm back. Maigburg continue to sweat the poor form of notionally talismanic striker Eiríka Jonathansdóttir; more than one supporter has pointed out they seemed to do fine without her last season. It was her counterpart Jake Pole who got the winner in what counts as an upset, beating potential IFCF contenders Folte at home.
   Premier League        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Steinaux 3 2 1 0 8 2 +6 7
2 Altendalur 3 2 1 0 9 4 +5 7
3 Molding 3 2 1 0 5 3 +2 7
4 Gunzlach 3 2 0 1 4 1 +3 6
5 Mühlrich 3 1 2 0 5 4 +1 5
6 Hofvinger 3 1 1 1 3 7 −4 4
7 Hagejoki 3 1 0 2 2 3 −1 3
8 Maigburg 3 1 0 2 1 2 −1 3
9 Folte 3 1 0 2 2 4 −2 3
10 Korsbach 3 1 0 2 4 9 −5 3
11 Estdal 3 0 1 2 5 7 −2 1
Hinteram 3 0 1 2 3 5 −2 1

Footballer’s Wives: Græntfjall
Episode 2: The New Season Begins

Karlína wants to welcome Chun to the Steinaux community and plans a dinner party. She frets over who to invite: Jóhanna is her oldest friend, but Petter wants her to invite Hrærekur’s new wife, Enesa. The two do not get along at all well. Karlína hits upon the idea of having a buffet, so that different groups can separate into different rooms of the house. Anna-Liisa helps Karlína go food shopping, but the two have trouble deciding what food will be appropriate to serve Chun. Chun tells Jing she does not want to attend the party.

Bjarnfreður is excited because Mathias’s red hot start to the season has the newspapers talking about potential national team selection. He encourages Mathias to fire his agent and hire someone who will work the publicity angle harder, but Mathias is determined to be selected on sporting merit. Bjarnfreður ends up hiring a second agent in secret. Tanja is jealous about all the attention Mathias and (to an extent) Bjarnfreður are getting. She wants Freddie to get a new agent, too. Freddie just wants to play video games. The newspapers print pictures of Mathias and Bjarnfreður attending a jazz festival. “We should do more cultural stuff!” Freddie tries to go along with it and buys two tickets to Weasels On Ice!. Tanja sulks and says she won’t attend.

Stephanie is upset when she finds out about a new competition called the “Pigeon Cup or something birdy like that” that Karoline will be selected for. More time away from her. She is even more upset when she discovers this will be taking place during the off-season. “I don’t get to see you doing summer or winter?” Karoline agrees they can take a holiday away together with “no football at all”.

Eiríka is disconsolate after her poor start to the season sees her lose her starting place in the first XI. Kyrri takes her to the fair to cheer her up and wins a giant stuffed wolf for her in an axe-throwing competition. Eiríka cheers up. Kyrri buys her candy floss but he gets some on his shirt. “Better pop this off.”

Ralf is being slated in the press for his poor form during the Copa Rushmori. The stoical BFG doesn’t seem to mind but it upsets Cathrine, who confides in Daniela that she is worried she will lose respect. Daniela cattily tells the diary room no one respects Cathrine anyway. Cathrine overhears and the two have a big shouting match that ends in them brawling. After watching for a couple of minutes, Ralf asks Stefan if he wants to go play ping-pong.

Keilah stretches her hamstrings.

Álfar has been playing well. Mia tells him he needs to attend more social events to improve his public image. He tells her his friend has a spare ticket to “some sort of musical extravaganza”. Mia approves and “allows” her son to attend. Ragnhild is upset as she and Álfar had plans. She tells him he needs to stand up to his mother more. She chooses which tie he should wear. Mia has already given him a tie to wear. The episode ends on the ‘cliffhanger’ of being picked up in the limo, trying to decide which tie to wear.
Last edited by Graintfjall on Sun Nov 22, 2020 3:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Founded: Jun 30, 2020
Compulsory Consumerist State

Postby Graintfjall » Thu Nov 26, 2020 5:33 am


Hagejoki 1
Bjarki Floriansson Image (33’) Image (90+5’)
Ophelia Crider Image (82’)

Mühlrich 0
Álfar Ásvaldursson Image (86’)
Robin Johannesson Image (90’)

Molding 3
Fredrik Thorleifsson Image (33’)
Ulfar Davidsson Image (73’)
Viktoria Öndesdóttir Image Image (82’, 90’+1)
Mathias Kristersson Image (86’)

Folte 3
Ralf Álfarsson Image (10’)
Mathias Kristersson Image (13’ o.g.)
Abishai Vestal Image (17’) Image (84’)
Johanna Álvgeirsdóttir Image (62’) Image (77’)

Altendalur 1
Darren Hunt Image (16’) Image (72’)
Ryan Lippe-Berg Image (62’)

Hinteram 0
Benoný Ísarrsson Image (74’)
Aleksis Fredesson Image (89’)

Maigburg 1
Arendt Árisson Image (49’)
Móri Ísidórsson Image (78’)

Korsbach 1
Bodil Alexandersdóttir Image (12’) Image (82’)
Noruose Nerauro Image (81’)

Gunzlach 3
Khajab Albani Image (29’)
Jade Miansdóttir Image (42’)
Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir Image (48’)
Tommy Diaz Image (67’)

Hofvinger 2
Hæming Tronsson Image (10’)
Mæja Allansdóttir Image (35’)
Martyn Ceath Image (77’)

Estdal 0
Steinaux 2
Hrærekur Jvarsson Image (32’ pen.) Image (44’)
Petter Erlingsson Image (87’)
After the first month of the season, here’s what each team is worried about.

Altendalur co-lead the league in goals scored, churning out 2.5 a game, yet it’s a sign of how high expectations have become that fans of the Chessmen are still complaining. They’re too reliant on goals from set-pieces, is the general charge. During the offseason, striker Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir defected to Gunzlach, and the fans aren’t too impressed yet by the foreign signings brought in to replace her: Hans Larsson has notched a couple of goals but lacked a clinical finishing touch, while Pedro Roâ has had limited playing time and not been trusted over a full 90 minutes. Darren Hunt, last season’s Flavovovovovovovovian pick-up, continues to be more of a support striker than an out-and-out 9, and homegrown Joen Aðalmundursson has 1 goal in 4 games. It leaves the Chessmen worrying they’re going to be left behind by the teams who’ve invested more heavily in offensive firepower later in the season.

Fans of Estdal might have good cause to roll their eyes at the Chessmen’s travails: Altendalur remain near the top of the league and are competing in IFCF based on last season’s victory. The Ducks, by contrast, are dead last. On the face of it it’s difficult to see what they’ve been doing wrong: in addition to good homegrown players like winger Robin Harrysson and striker Rato Guðmannsson, they brought in some exciting foreign signings such as Brenecian and Farf midfield pair Luis Terregrossa and Morgan Slavicka. They’re playing in a fancy new stadium instead of sharing Oost-Hartburg’s old pile. And yet they just keep losing. Rumors of a changing room incident in which maverick Farf manager Cayo Punta set ablaze the team’s tactical notes halfway through a disappointing 0 – 2 home defeat to Steinaux are only adding, ahem, fuel to the fire of those predicting the Ducks go down this season.

Folte have been rocked by the news that veteran club captain Ralf Álfarsson is to retire at the end of the season. The Folte Towers are crumbling. The pressure on young Stefan Jokulsson to step up and take his place is immense, and NT left back Emeli Vilbertsdóttir is expected to become captain in his stead. The Striders got a little foretaste of life without him this Saturday: after taking a 3 – 0 lead away at Molding, Álfarsson was substituted in the 79th minute. The game finished a draw, to ignite the fears of the fans that without their big center back, the team’s defensive resolve will crumble. On the brighter side, Johanna Álvgeirsdóttir’s form has been excellent, and the bold tactic of simply trying to score more than the opponent rather than hoping the opponent scores less than you might yet bring some faint glimmer of hope.

Gunzlach lost to Steinaux. That’s literally all their fans are worried about.

Hagejoki were expected to struggle to stay up, but find themselves in the top half of the table. Their latest victims were Mühlrich; the Harlequins’ heavily defensive system, employing two defensive midfielders in front of their back four, has been successful in frustrating the fancy foreign signings on offense so far, and so it proved against the Turtles. Meanwhile their ‘route one’ tactics on offense paid off yet again. After booming the ball upfield, they prayed it would somehow bounce off Bjarki Floriansson’s head into the goal. It, somehow, did, and they spent the next hour putting 10 men behind the ball to run out winners. The Harlequins’ fans are delighted, but know such tactics can’t last the whole season long: their main worry is whether the team has enough attacking options to reply should they fall behind early on.

Fellow promoted side Hinteram are doing much worse. Without a win after four games, the Machinists are fretting over, amongst other things: their failure to be more active in the transfer window (they brought in two midfielders but no one to provide a spark up-front); an ankle injury to defensive midfielder Benoný Ísarrsson; and the poor quality of their home stadium, which failed to be awarded any hosting rights during the recent Copa Rushmori. Sponsors IceBank have the funds to help out with the first and third (and can probably spare a króna or two to buy Benoný a Get Well Soon card, too) but are being tight-fisted because of their preoccupation with the, much more successful, ice hockey team, and plans to buy a franchise in the new basketball league. It’s an example of the multi sport club’s limitations, and the Machinists’ football devotees are worried.

Hofvinger fans are complaining about everything, as usual. They’re regarded by everyone else in their league as arrogant. And, on the face of a joint 9th standing with one win in four, with even less cause to be than usual. The Northern Wolves actually gave a fine showing away at Gunzlach, coming close to an upset (not that their fans would consider it such) against one of the most loaded rosters in the league. They twice took the lead, through defensive midfielder Hæming Tronsson, who is proving to play well in a support role behind Nathaniel Auvergne and Martyn Ceath, and new winger Mæja Allansdóttir, who’s been making a case for more playing time with some excellent assists and now turned scorer herself with a stunning strike. But the Gunners’ superior talent told early in the second half with Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir snatching a typical poacher’s goal. Hofvinger competed in the IFCF in the first season Græntfjaller clubs were eligible, but haven’t been back. The Northern Wolf Pack would love to see them climb back to those heights, but for now just winning at home would be enough.

Korsbach were near-unanimous picks to go down this season. Everyone’s logic seemed to be that one of the promoted clubs would outperform and stay up, and Korsbach were worst-of-the-rest. Hagejoki are indeed outperforming, and so fans of the Sabres are now pretty frantic. (Though quick to point out, in reference to Estdal, that they are clearly not worst of the rest.) A 1 – 1 draw with an underwhelming Maigburg side was the kind of game they need to win if they’re to improve. (Though in general, every team would improve a bit if they just won all their games, a bold tactic yet to be realized by Græntfjaller managers.) Korsbach have an excellent midfield; most fans are chiefly worried they lack a sufficiently physical presence up front, Margaux Torkildsdóttir and Melina Nicosdóttir both being slightly built poachers who need a bigger body to draw screens and create chances for them. But they’ll only be able to go shopping for one if they survive the season: relegation will instead see their promising foreign signings flee the club.

Maigburg are 7th and getting used to life in the GPL. Last season’s Cinderella story, this season they’re just in the mix for the middle of the table, which in itself is a sign of how much they’ve progressed. Yet the big worry for the Catbear Crowd is the form of Eiríka Jonathansdóttir. She scored 20 goals in the course of their League 1 promotion campaign, but received a gruesome knee injury. ACL, MCL, PCL, GCL, XCL, ☿CL: all of them twanged like an old elastic band snapping. Unable to play at all last season, she’s been eased back into the starting lineup this season… only to be eased out of it having looked ineffective, a stride short of pace, and just plain lacking. She’s yet to score; the Catbears instead depended on defensive midfielder Arendt Árisson heading home a corner to salvage a draw against Korsbach. All Catbears wish Eiríka Jonathansdóttir the best: it’s just that increasing numbers of them define ‘the best’ as a comfort in her early retirement.

For Molding, the season has started strong. Unbeaten after four games, and fourth in the table – pretty much exactly where almost everyone predicts them finishing. With fourth offering an IFCF, Gold Shrew fans are uncertain whether they should revel in this newfound status as part of the ‘Big Four’, or be concerned that they seem far more than the single point the table literally shows off the pace of the ‘Big Three’. This week they squandered a chance to go top and had to instead scrap for a draw at home to hated rivals Folte. The big concern for fans is the form of star striker Alicia Gainsbourg, the most expensive of their many Chromatik signings. Gainsbourg has looked good, fit and strong with some silky skills. She just hasn’t scored. At all. Lacking that finishing touch, they’ve had to rely on the likes of Mathias Kristersson, who’s proving a major scoring threat at corners (including, unfortunately, to his own goal) and on ‘super sub’ Viktoria Öndesdóttir, who replaced Gainsburg in the last 10 minutes at Folte and immediately showed her how it’s done and then, like all good teachers, repeated the demonstration.

The Turtles Ultras are never happy (unless they’re harassing some new unsuitably ethnic arrival to the neighborhood); the team’s form is largely immaterial. Mühlrich could probably finish anywhere from 4th to 11th this season and people would see it as an entirely expected outcome. Álfar Ásvaldursson has been playing really well, and new Farf signing Âlárî Dírrôùjý looks promising. But striker Richard Armada, last season’s Foreign Player of the Year, is showing signs of slowing down in his old age, and their center back pairing isn’t exactly the envy of other teams (which, given how many Græntfjaller fans judge their teams almost entirely on BFness of their respective BFGs, is serious business). Challenging for an IFCF place seems unlikely this season, so it’s probably about putting on enough of a show to convince the sponsors to spend a little more next season’s transfer window. Please don’t repeat any of this to the Turtles Ultras in person, though, if you value your teeth maintaining close proximity to your jaw.

Which leaves us with Steinaux. First in the league, first in goals scored, first in fewest goals conceded (and thus, mathematically, even firstier in goal difference). Brand new stadium, the biggest and best in the country, that just hosted the Copa Rushmori final and is the centerpiece of the Baptism of Fire bid. Foreign signings Li Jing and Cail Coghlan looking excellent, and, though yet to score, Çè Quîrîjá providing some excitement off the bench. What could they possibly have to worry about? For one thing, they’ll be starting next week’s crunch game against defending champions Altendalur without the services of midfield lynchpin Hrærekur Jvarsson, who scored a penalty against Estdal (then gave one away with a brutally poor challenge, only to see it saved by Isac Théosson as he trudged off down the tunnel). The Sausages should still have enough talent to overcome the Chessmen, at home. Should they fail to do so, their fans – many of whom have been enthusiastic followers of the club for almost twenty minutes – may start to worry that this season will prove another close-run disappointment.

   Premier League        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Steinaux 4 3 1 0 10 2 +8 10
2 Altendalur 4 3 1 0 10 4 +6 10
3 Gunzlach 4 3 0 1 7 3 +4 9
4 Molding 4 2 2 0 8 6 +2 8
5 Hagejoki 4 2 0 2 3 3 0 6
6 Mühlrich 4 1 2 1 5 5 0 5
7 Maigburg 4 1 1 2 2 3 −1 4
8 Folte 4 1 1 2 5 7 −2 4
9 Hofvinger 4 1 1 2 5 10 −5 4
Korsbach 4 1 1 2 5 10 −5 4
11 Hinteram 4 0 1 3 3 6 −3 1
12 Estdal 4 0 1 3 5 9 −4 1
The White Winter Queendom of Græntfjall
Baptism of Fire 73 Champions


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