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[SUBMITTED] Bleep off!

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Comfed
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Founded: Apr 09, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

[SUBMITTED] Bleep off!

Postby Comfed » Thu Jul 02, 2020 8:57 am

The issue:

A certain politician has tongues wagging all across @@NAME@@ after @@HE_1@@ very publicly told a protestor to perform a certain bodily function in a very explicit way. Now those furious, shocked, and frankly amused have gathered inside your office to find a solution.

The debate:

"This is an outrage!" cries conservative @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ as @@HE_1@@ brandishes @@HIS@@ wooden cane. "Curse words have no place in @@NAME@@. Ban public insults, if only to keep @@NAME@@ clean!"

Effect: protests have vanished now that public criticism of @@LEADER@@ is banned

"Oh, come on now, I didn't do anything wrong!" pleads member of parliament @@RANDOMNAME@@ wearing a paper bag over @@HIS@@ head. "These hyper conservatives are going too darn far! My life has been ruined by a tiny little mistake! Please, @@LEADER@@, I implore you, couldn’t we just forget it this time? After all, it was just a teensy weensy slip-up. In fact, why don’t we just grant pardons to politicians accused of misconduct? After all, to forgive is divine!”

Effect: the official policy of @@NAME@@ on handling scandals is to turn the other way

"You know what, dudes?" says @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ "cool" @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ while skateboarding over classified military documents, "Politicians are always old geezers, it’s so boring trying to follow politics. @@NAME@@ should have, like, a national holiday dedicated to obscenities.” @@HE_3@@ then skateboards out the window, taking the military documents with him.

Effect: @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ often get nostalgic about the existence of manners

Is this adult? I don’t think so but it’s possible.
Last edited by Comfed on Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:38 am, edited 11 times in total.
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Westinor
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Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Thu Jul 02, 2020 7:14 pm

Your macros are out of wack. You don't need to assign an individual number to every single macro per option, and the "he" in your description should therefore be @@HE_1@@ for the purposes of this draft (there, using the _1 would make sense).

This is an interesting premise, but your characters could definitely use some fine tuning. Though realism isn't necessarily needed in issues, what if the religious conservative worshipped in some way the political process of @@NAME@@ as opposed to just the regular faith? Seeing as how they already refer to the legislative body as "the sacred house of lawmaking", that could be a pretty interesting twist if you pulled it off.

Comfed wrote:would be to close he legislature to visitors,


You've got a typo here, and religious fundamentalists aren't necessarily the only people complaining about swears. The sanctity of language in the legislative is generally kept by most other groups in the populace as well, as far as I can tell.

Your third option has potential but right now the way the option is proposed feels bland. The 'liven things up' argument is fine, but there could be a more nuanced way to say "I think swears are cool". Like, "Politicians are always so dumb and boring - maybe if you made those old geezers insult each other in every session things would liven up and people would care about politics again." A bit wordy, but you get the gist.

Also, just realized this - really, option 1 and 2 do the same thing in effect. I'm not sure if there's much difference between blotting out obscenities and not saying them at all? If the senator in option 2 wants to blot out obscenities and insults, a justification (i.e. their constituents are outraged, they're being heckled everywhere they go) would definitely make the option more coherent.
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SherpDaWerp
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Founded: Mar 02, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Thu Jul 02, 2020 11:22 pm

As well as everything Westinor has said:

Be careful of overlap with #453, which asks similar questions about the conduct of MPs - albeit in a much more extreme manner.

And saying "senator" implies that there is still an upper house present in the @@NAME@@ legislature, so you should change it to "member of parliament".

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Jutsa
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Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Fri Jul 03, 2020 7:59 am

Aw, I was hoping this would be about fudge...

Ah well, it's definitely interesting discussing obscenities' place in politics. :lol:

Definitely a bit different from mooning, and though I see some similarity,
I'm also reminded of #799 which already coexists with it.

I wanna say this is a substantially distinct premise, personally. :)
Last edited by Jutsa on Fri Jul 03, 2020 7:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Comfed
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Founded: Apr 09, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Comfed » Sat Jul 04, 2020 12:46 pm

Westinor wrote:Your macros are out of wack. You don't need to assign an individual number to every single macro per option, and the "he" in your description should therefore be @@HE_1@@ for the purposes of this draft (there, using the _1 would make sense).

This is an interesting premise, but your characters could definitely use some fine tuning. Though realism isn't necessarily needed in issues, what if the religious conservative worshipped in some way the political process of @@NAME@@ as opposed to just the regular faith? Seeing as how they already refer to the legislative body as "the sacred house of lawmaking", that could be a pretty interesting twist if you pulled it off.

Comfed wrote:would be to close he legislature to visitors,


You've got a typo here, and religious fundamentalists aren't necessarily the only people complaining about swears. The sanctity of language in the legislative is generally kept by most other groups in the populace as well, as far as I can tell.

Your third option has potential but right now the way the option is proposed feels bland. The 'liven things up' argument is fine, but there could be a more nuanced way to say "I think swears are cool". Like, "Politicians are always so dumb and boring - maybe if you made those old geezers insult each other in every session things would liven up and people would care about politics again." A bit wordy, but you get the gist.

Also, just realized this - really, option 1 and 2 do the same thing in effect. I'm not sure if there's much difference between blotting out obscenities and not saying them at all? If the senator in option 2 wants to blot out obscenities and insults, a justification (i.e. their constituents are outraged, they're being heckled everywhere they go) would definitely make the option more coherent.

Thank you for the feedback, I believe I have fixed it.
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Australian rePublic
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Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:30 pm

Please the "oh fudge" title for anyone who might wanna write an issue about fudge
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Atheris
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Atheris » Sun Jul 05, 2020 5:47 pm

When I read "Oh, Fudge", I expected an issue about fudge, not about an MP telling another to go perform a certain function that is physically impossible. May want to change the title.
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Comfed
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Founded: Apr 09, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Comfed » Mon Jul 06, 2020 6:37 am

Atheris wrote:When I read "Oh, Fudge", I expected an issue about fudge, not about an MP telling another to go perform a certain function that is physically impossible. May want to change the title.

Alright, alright, I’ll change it.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:28 am

I'd agree that 453 is a strong overlap here, enough to prevent publication at present.

Maybe get the bad language out of parliament and into a public space, like a political rally, or somewhere like that. That might help.
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Atheris
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Atheris » Tue Jul 07, 2020 10:03 am

Minor typo: "Ban insults public" in option 1 should be changed to "Ban public insults". You may also want to make option 1 enact the no dissent policy.
Dollystana wrote:The one nation that you can’t get rid of.
Ceranapis wrote:"Who needs a country when you can write Ace Attorney fan fiction?"
The Galactic Empire unironically did nothing wrong.
Nouveau Quebecois did nothing wrong!
The self-proclaimed Resident Shitposter of NSG.
Ace/aro. Cis he/him. Trans ally.
"To comment is human, to preview, divine." - Godot
Orthodox Preterist Lutheran Christian.
I write AA fanfiction. Fuck you if you judge me.
WA RP nation: Union of Sovereign States and Republics
"What tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

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Comfed
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Posts: 94
Founded: Apr 09, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Comfed » Tue Jul 07, 2020 7:08 pm

Atheris wrote:Minor typo: "Ban insults public" in option 1 should be changed to "Ban public insults". You may also want to make option 1 enact the no dissent policy.

Thanks!
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