NATION

PASSWORD

[THIRD DRAFT] Military Superpower: Yay or Nay?

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
User avatar
Tepylona
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 13
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

[THIRD DRAFT] Military Superpower: Yay or Nay?

Postby Tepylona » Sat Jun 27, 2020 3:31 pm

Description: Marche Blanche, one of @@NAME@@'s close-knit friends, was invaded by Marche Noire. Marche Blanche has called for @@NAME@@'s military support, but the war will most likely cost thousands of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ lives. Your advisors have met to discuss what to do.

Option 1: "Why, doing this is just a waste of the lives of soldiers!" confesses your distressed Minister of Defense @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Why should we have our military leave our borders for someone else's war, anyway? We should decline the call to arms, and stop giving so much foreign aid for good measure. No reason to support anything but ourselves and our best interests."

Effect Line: @@NAME@@ is often forgotten by other countries

Option 2: "The continued livelihood of our allies *is* our best interests" declaims famed war hero and general @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If we don't get involved in the world, then our nation will fade into obscurity. We should firstly agree to send military support, and then focus the nation towards the defense of our allies and weaker nations. We must work towards global recognition, no matter the cost."

Effect Line: foreign soldiers outnumbered by the enemy hear "@@SLOGAN@@" being shouted by their reinforcements

Option 3: "Pfff! Why do we even need allies, anyway?" smugly remarks @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your advisors who is also a known isolationist. "We don't even need any outside aid, and @@NAME@@ shouldn't have to rely on anyone else for stability or goods. We should have a closed economy, and no foreigners should be allowed to enter the country. That way, nothing and nobody with prevent @@NAME@@ from following it's own interests.

Effect Line: @@NAME@@ has isolated itself from global conflicts
Last edited by Tepylona on Tue Jun 30, 2020 5:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Totalitarianism at it's Finest!

User avatar
Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20716
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jun 28, 2020 4:08 pm

Who's Brancaland fighting against? Where's the war at? Is it a hot war or a cold war? Who started the war? All of these matter when making such a decision
From Greek Ansestry Orthodox Christian
17 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution List of NPC Nations
This account is fictious. Any In-Character posts made by this account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

User avatar
Ko-oren
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5086
Founded: Nov 26, 2010
Democratic Socialists

Postby Ko-oren » Mon Jun 29, 2020 2:15 am

There's a few more details on this war that are needed to make a judgment.

For now, options 1 and 3 are fairly similar. Make sure that as the description develops, these options don't overlap too much. For now, they're different enough.
Trigramme: KOR - Demonym: Ko-orenite - Population: 27.270.096
Sports Domestic Sports Newswires - RPable People - Info Factbook Storefronts Loro Language Schools - Goliæth Sports Café - Call for bids!
Champions 1x CoH - 1x AOCAF - 1x WBC - 3x World Bowl - 1x IBC - 1x T20 WC - 3x RUWC - 1x RLWC - 1x HWC - 1x Beach Cup
Runners-up 1x AOCAF - 1x WBC - 2x World Bowl - 4x IBC - 1x AOHC - 1x GCF Test Cricket - 2x RUWC - 1x WLC - 1x FHWC
Hosts 1x World Bowl - 1x WCOH - 1x T20 WC - 1x RUWC - 1x FHWC

User avatar
Tepylona
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 13
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Tepylona » Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:32 am

Thanks for the advice. I'm about to begin working on the second draft, and I'll try to add more depth to the description.
Totalitarianism at it's Finest!

User avatar
Westinor
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 475
Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:20 pm

Straight off the bat, I'd like to point out it's unlikely for two nations like Brancaland and the United Federation to go to war (seeing as their IRL counterparts are the USA and Canada, though the reason I'm saying this is not because of some North American comradery but rather the fact that major nations tend not to go to war with each other over oil). The basis of oil would be resolved over tariffs, a trade war, I presume, but it's also likely that Brancaland is not the United Federation's only source of oil, and that a nation would probably not be idiotic enough to go to war lacking a good fuel supply for their military. Premise needs some work, and a better choice of conflict would be between perhaps smaller nations on the international scale, or nations constantly at conflict with each other (the Palisades though that conflict is running its course, Marche Noir and Marche Blanche might work well too)
Authorship - Things I've written!

Stay safe, wear a mask, and have a great day! :)

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 21623
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jul 06, 2020 3:26 am

Welcome to the forum.

Your issue, unfortunately, has some flaws which stop it working well.

The title, first of all, is uninspiring and doesn't actually match the premise of the issue. A military superpower is one with the military force or influence necessary to project power on a global scale. The issue you present doesn't relate to that.

Description: Marche Blanche, one of @@NAME@@'s close-knit friends,


This is odd English, colloquially.

One might refer to a "close-knit circle of friends" or a "close-knit group" but not just "close-knit friends", as the adjective refers to relative arrangement / relationship amongst friends, not a category of friends.

was invaded by Marche Noire.


And here we find a statement that needs context.

Without context, how are we meant to make any meaningful decisions?

Marche Blanche has called for @@NAME@@'s military support, but the war will most likely cost thousands of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ lives.


It's just too bland, there's not enough story here

Your advisors have met to discuss what to do.


This is a redundant sentence, that basically just says "This is an issue with options." It can be cut.

I suggest revisiting the core premise and trying to add more to it. Right now it just says "An ally is at war and wants help." That's not a whole issue, you need more. Take a look at issues 808 and 863 for a better idea of ow geopolitical issues can be delivered. That should help you understand how this issue ought to look.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Mon Jul 06, 2020 3:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

User avatar
Qqww
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 5
Founded: May 12, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Qqww » Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:30 am

Tepylona wrote:Description: Marche Blanche, one of @@NAME@@'s close-knit friends, was invaded by Marche Noire. Marche Blanche has called for @@NAME@@'s military support, but the war will most likely cost thousands of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ lives. Your advisors have met to discuss what to do.

Option 1: "Why, doing this is just a waste of the lives of soldiers!" confesses your distressed Minister of Defense @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Why should we have our military leave our borders for someone else's war, anyway? We should decline the call to arms, and stop giving so much foreign aid for good measure. No reason to support anything but ourselves and our best interests."

Effect Line: @@NAME@@ is often forgotten by other countries

Option 2: "The continued livelihood of our allies *is* our best interests" declaims famed war hero and general @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If we don't get more involved in the world, then our nation will fade into obscurity. We should firstly agree to send military support, and then focus the nation towards the defense of our allies and weaker nations. We must work towards global recognition, no matter the cost."

Effect Line: foreign soldiers outnumbered by the enemy hear "@@SLOGAN@@" being shouted by their reinforcements

Option 3: "Pfff! Why do we even need allies, anyway?" smugly remarks @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your advisors who is also a known isolationist. "We don't even need any outside aid, and @@NAME@@ shouldn't have to rely on anyone else for stability or goods. We should have a closed economy, and no foreigners should be allowed to enter the country. That way, nothing and nobody with prevent @@NAME@@ from following it's own interests.

Effect Line: @@NAME@@ has isolated itself from global conflicts


Looks interesting. I can't wait to see the second draft. I hope you will use some tips from this thread.
Last edited by Qqww on Mon Jul 13, 2020 3:04 am, edited 1 time in total.


Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to Got Issues?

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Advertisement

Remove ads