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[SUBMITTED - 7/5/2020] The Art of Cleaning Dirty Money

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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Democratic Socialists

[SUBMITTED - 7/5/2020] The Art of Cleaning Dirty Money

Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Mon Jun 22, 2020 4:25 pm

[description]A painting by the renowned @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ artist Johnson Bullock was recently sold for 250 million @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ at an auction, breaking a record for the highest price ever paid for an artwork. The buyer, however, was a shady figure who used to be an internationally infamous drug trafficker who forswore crime and took an interest in collecting art; which has raised some eyebrows.

[validity]capitalist

1. [option]"The naivete with which some people approach this incident is driving me crazy," snorts @@RANDOMNAME1@@, an investigative journalist from The @@CAPITAL@@ Herald, spreading some old and musty newspaper clippings on your desk. "Here is @@RANDOMNAME2@@, our drug baron turned art enthusiast, under house arrest for smuggling heroin from Brasilistan. Here is @@HIM2@@ again, supposedly doing charity work in Kawandaland, but instead paying poor peasants to grow hemp for @@HIS2@@ drug trafficking ring. It is estimated that @@HE2@@ made billions of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ in over 30 years of operation, and now @@HE2@@ is obviously purchasing art to launder this dirty money. We cannot allow this to happen. Declare this transaction to be null and void and launch an investigation into this @@MAN2@@'s assets! Other similar transactions with extraordinary amounts of money changing hands should also be scrutinized."

[effect]rich people decorate their walls with their kids' potato prints

2. [option]"Look, I've made some mistakes in the past, but let us let bygones be bygones, shall we?" asks @@RANDOMNAME2@@, gently tapping @@HIS2@@ cigar on an ashtray @@HE2@@ carries around for this specific purpose. "I hope you don't believe the lies of these sensation-seeking media monkeys. Any day they can find a catchy headline is a good day, am I right? Anyway, I paid my dues and have not done any illegal business for 20 years. These days, I just find solace in my grandkids and collecting the exquisite masterpieces of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ artists. You could say that a lot of artists' hard work would go unrecognized and uncompensated if it weren't for people like me. You should absolutely stay out of art sales and let our artists flourish!"

[effect]mobsters on parole have suddenly become abstract art connoisseurs

[option validity]smoking legal

2. [option]"Look, I've made some mistakes in the past, but let us let bygones be bygones, shall we?" asks @@RANDOMNAME2@@, gently tapping @@HIS2@@ unlit cigar on an ashtray @@HE2@@ carries around for this specific purpose. "I hope you don't believe the lies of these sensation-seeking media monkeys. Any day they can find a catchy headline is a good day, am I right? Anyway, I paid my dues and have not done any illegal business for 20 years. These days, I just find solace in my grandkids and collecting the exquisite masterpieces of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ artists. You could say that a lot of artists' hard work would go unrecognized and uncompensated if it weren't for people like me. You should absolutely stay out of art sales and let our artists flourish!"

[effect]mobsters on parole have suddenly become abstract art connoisseurs

[option validity]smoking illegal

3. [option]"Woah, so are you telling me this **** got sold for 250 million bucks? That's insane, man! Wow!" exclaims your nephew, his eyes fixed on the picture of the painting adorning the newspaper story about the auction. "Dude, this is just like random doodles. Like, the guy dipped his brush in a can of paint and splashed it across the canvas or something. Holy Violet! I could do this, too! Why don't we set up a board of aspiring artists or something like that where me and my folks can make paintings for you? And like, you sell them at an auction for millions? We could split the money 50-50 and I am sure it would also help your government budget or something. Capiche?"

[effect]philosophers are concerned with the question of what constitutes art more than ever
Last edited by Frieden-und Freudenland on Sun Jul 05, 2020 3:40 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Jun 22, 2020 4:28 pm

I agree with capitalist only, it’s better.

Also like I said for Jutsa, you should censor the whole word shit instead.
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Mon Jun 22, 2020 4:30 pm

Honeydewistania wrote:I agree with capitalist only, it’s better.

Also like I said for Jutsa, you should censor the whole word shit instead.

What do you mean by censoring the whole word? Replacing it?
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Jun 22, 2020 4:32 pm

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:
Honeydewistania wrote:I agree with capitalist only, it’s better.

Also like I said for Jutsa, you should censor the whole word shit instead.

What do you mean by censoring the whole word? Replacing it?

I mean, use **** instead sh*t. I mean I don’t know if it’s a rule or anything, but I swearing in issues is usually completely censored.
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Mon Jun 22, 2020 4:40 pm

Honeydewistania wrote:
Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:What do you mean by censoring the whole word? Replacing it?

I mean, use **** instead sh*t. I mean I don’t know if it’s a rule or anything, but I swearing in issues is usually completely censored.

OK.
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Jun 23, 2020 8:12 pm

Guy legally makes purchase is not a leader issue. If they suspect money laundering, that's a police issue, not a leader issue
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Drasnia
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Postby Drasnia » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:35 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Guy legally makes purchase is not a leader issue. If they suspect money laundering, that's a police issue, not a leader issue

By that logic, every issue about criminality is a police issue and not a leader issue. It is in the interest of a nation's leader to dictate policy in regards to crime.
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Sun Jun 28, 2020 1:25 pm

bump?
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Australian rePublic
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jun 28, 2020 5:19 pm

Drasnia wrote:
Australian rePublic wrote:Guy legally makes purchase is not a leader issue. If they suspect money laundering, that's a police issue, not a leader issue

By that logic, every issue about criminality is a police issue and not a leader issue. It is in the interest of a nation's leader to dictate policy in regards to crime.

No, you domm't get it. Why does leader care? Why is this a leader issue, rather than a police issue?
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Dangine
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New York Times Democracy

Postby Dangine » Sun Jun 28, 2020 5:44 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Guy legally makes purchase is not a leader issue. If they suspect money laundering, that's a police issue, not a leader issue

I agree, maybe if the ending of the description "which has raised some eyebrows" was replaced with "putting the issue of money laundering into the spotlight", it would make this about money laundering in general.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jun 30, 2020 4:51 am

I drafted nearly the same thing back in 2019:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=462682

You should come back to the editing room, and publish it. :)

In all seriousness though, feel free to proceed with a competing issue on the same topic. I think my issue is better, but then I would, other editors would be free to decide for themselves. Yours would be more likely to be published though I'm sure, from the fact that about 1 in 3 issues in the backstage pile are by me right now. So, go for it!
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Tue Jun 30, 2020 4:54 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Frieden-und Freudenland
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Frieden-und Freudenland » Wed Jul 01, 2020 11:08 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I drafted nearly the same thing back in 2019:

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=462682

You should come back to the editing room, and publish it. :)

In all seriousness though, feel free to proceed with a competing issue on the same topic. I think my issue is better, but then I would, other editors would be free to decide for themselves. Yours would be more likely to be published though I'm sure, from the fact that about 1 in 3 issues in the backstage pile are by me right now. So, go for it!

Thanks, CWA! I'll give it a chance, of course, let it be a fair competition! :)
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Candensia
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Candensia » Wed Jul 01, 2020 11:25 am

Can I ask why the artist's name in the intro is fixed? Just curious.
Last edited by Candensia on Wed Jul 01, 2020 11:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Nazbeth
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New York Times Democracy

Postby Nazbeth » Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:30 pm

Candensia wrote:Can I ask why the artist's name in the intro is fixed? Just curious.


"Johnson Bullock" -- a play on Jackson Pollock.


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