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[SUBMITTED] Coastline Crabs Causing Commotion

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Westinor
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[SUBMITTED] Coastline Crabs Causing Commotion

Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 15, 2020 10:02 am

[title] Coastline Crabs Causing Commotion

[desc] Recent studies have found that @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ hermit crabs are dying by the hundred-thousands, as they get trapped in plastic waste that they mistake for shells. Worried by the potential ecological consequences of this horrible disaster, several marine scientists have brought this case to your attention.
[validity] low environmental beauty

[option] "This is just horrible!" sobs marine scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ fervently cleans trash off your desk. "Crabs are extremely important to our coasts, and are essential in preserving our marine ecosystems. But when a hermit crab mistakes plastic for a shell and dies, they emit a smell that attracts more crabs to what they believe to be a vacant shell — only to find themselves trapped too! We have to clean up our beaches, if only to stop this deadly cycle and keep these creatures alive!"
[effect] confused hermit crabs are trampled by giddy environmental activists

[option] "We need to do more!" exclaims environmental activist @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ sets fire to your trash can. "Stopping plastic waste from reaching our beaches is the only way to keep our marine habitats pristine and their inhabitants safe. Impose strict no-littering laws on beaches, promote sustainable products like reusable water bottles, and heavily fine people who don't comply." @@HE@@ whisks out a photo of a hermit crab and puts it to @@HIS@@ chest. "This is for you, Crabkins."
[effect] people who litter on the beach are assaulted by environmental activists and fined heavily

[option] "I have no clue why, but for some reason people think these garbage critters are cute!" squeals @@RANDOMNAME@@, owner of the infamous shoreside restaurant The Crispy Crab. "This is the perfect opportunity to promote the tourism industry and make a dime! If your subsidize shop owners and tourist facilities in our coastal cities, people will just be clawing to visit @@NAME@@ to observe these delightful little crabs!"
[effect] @@ANIMAL@@ City's newest tourist attractions have been labeled Trash Crab Cash Grabs


[title] Coastline Crabs Causing Commotion

[desc] Images of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ hermit crabs sheltering in tiny pieces of beach litter like bottle caps have gone viral on the internet. This phenomon has caught the intrigue of people around the world, with tourists flocking to @@NAME@@ to witness this spectacle.
[validity] Has internet, low environmental beauty(or decent environmental beauty, seeing as most beaches tend to have more garbage than available shells for hermit crabs anyway).

[option] "I don't know why, but people are just obsessed with these magnificent little crabs!" excitedly squeals @@RANDOMNAME@@, owner of the infamous restaurant The Crispy Crab as @@HE@@ emerges in a crab costume. "This is the perfect opportunity to promote the tourism industry and make a dime! If you subsidize shop owners and tourist facilities in our city, we'll have loads of people just clawing to visit @ANIMAL@@ City to observe these delightful little critters! Argh, Square-Bob my boy! Where is that little rascal... "
[effect] @@ANIMAL@@ City's newest tourist attractions have been labeled Trash Crab Cash Grabs

[option] "These poor hermit crabs are forced to hide in dirty, toxic litter in order to find shelter!" sobs unemployed marine scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ looks through photos of rather cute-looking crabs. "In the process, they can get trapped and are left to die in the mounds of litter that cover our shores. This is a sign that we must clean up our environment, not bring in more tourists to contribute to the damage! @@LEADER@@, we have to clean our beaches, if only to save these poor creatures!"
[effect] hermit crabs are trampled by giddy environmental activists

[option] "Why can't you just leave them alone?" queries a hermit who lives in the garbage mounds on the beach as he scuttles into your office. "The garbage beach is nature's newest ecosystem, and these trash crabs are its pioneers. Our world is changing with us, so don't waste our time and taxes on some extravagant clean up project. Let nature thrive on its own."
[effect] garbage patches off the coast of @@NAME@@ are teeming with life


[title] Coastline Crabs Causing Commotion

[desc] Recently, pictures of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ hermit crabs using tiny pieces of trash like bottle caps as shelter have arisen on the internet. This phenomon has caught the intrigue of people around the world, with several interest groups touting these "garbage crabs" as a symbol.
[validity] Has internet, low environmental beauty(or decent environmental beauty, seeing as most beaches tend to have more garbage than available shells for hermit crabs anyway).

[option] "These poor hermit crabs are forced to search for pieces of garbage in order to find shelter!" sobs unemployed marine scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ looks through photos of rather cute-looking crabs. "In the process, they get trapped and are left to die in the mounds of litter that cover our shores. @@LEADER@@, we have to clean our beaches, if only to save these poor creatures!"
[effect] hermit crabs are trampled by giddy environmental activists

[option] "Why can't you just leave them alone?" queries a beach hermit as he scuttles into your office. "These magnificent creatures are adapting to our changing world. Don't waste our time and taxes on some extravagant clean up project. Let nature thrive on its own."
[effect] garbage patches off the coast of @@NAME@@ are teeming with life

[option] "This spectacle has captured the attention of future customers everywhere!" excitedly squeals @@RANDOMNAME@@, the mayor of @@ANIMAL@@ City. "This is the perfect opportunity to promote our tourism industry. If you subsidize shop owners and tourist facilities in our city, we'll have loads of people just clawing to visit @ANIMAL@@ City to observe these delightful little critters!"
[effect] @@ANIMAL@@ City's newest tourist attractions have been labeled Trash Crab Cash Grabs
Last edited by Westinor on Sat Jul 11, 2020 6:34 pm, edited 15 times in total.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:45 pm

So while the garbage is bad for a lot of things, I'm not sure it's actually bad for the hermit crabs. Human metals and glass actually make for better armor than the natural shells they'd otherwise use.

Westinor wrote:This phenomena
"Phenomena" is plural, the singular is "phenomenon".

Westinor wrote:[effect] garbage patches off the coast of name are teeming with life
You forgot a macro.

Westinor wrote:[option] "These crabs have gotten everywhere!" shrieks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a local fisherman. "Last night I woke up with some in my hair! I spent two hours in the washing room trying to get them out! I had to set me' self on fire to get them off,"
That sounds like an exceptionally bad way to get rid of crabs.

Also, make sure to use @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ if the character is supposed to be a man.

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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Mon Jun 15, 2020 4:55 pm

Why would anyone choose anything but option 2? The crabs may have actually evolved to become reliant on the garbage
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:30 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Why would anyone choose anything but option 2? The crabs may have actually evolved to become reliant on the garbage
Evolution doesn't happen that fast. Although they might be locally dependent on the garbage, particularly if the same environmental degradation that leaves a bunch of garbage lying around also resulted in a decline in the snail populations that they normally get their shells from, or if the hermit crabs weren't native to that part of the world to begin with before the garbage produced a suitable habitat for them.

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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:17 pm

Fixed the problems, can't believe I let that slip through :p Thank you so much!

So while the garbage is bad for a lot of things, I'm not sure it's actually bad for the hermit crabs. Human metals and glass actually make for better armor than the natural shells they'd otherwise use.


As far as the garbage goes, the pieces of garbage they use for makeshift armor may often contain toxic chemicals that could be potentially harmful, and an abundance of trash can cause hermit crabs in general to get trapped looking for suitable shelter (As seen on the Cocos Islands, though I suppose I could focus on the effects of garbage covering the environment that hermit crabs thrive on as opposed to the garbage used as the hermit crabs shells). <I'll try to edit that in
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:22 pm

Why would anyone choose anything but option 2? The crabs may have actually evolved to become reliant on the garbage


Option one offers cleaning up the beaches with the appeal of saving the hermit crabs. Option three is an attempt to subsidize tourism based on the hermit crab, which is already done in many places. And option four is for people who want to see their beaches set on fire, I suppose. Is it biased towards option two?

That sounds like an exceptionally bad way to get rid of crabs.


I guess so, I wouldn't try that at home.
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Ko-oren
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Postby Ko-oren » Tue Jun 16, 2020 8:05 am

Option 4 is a bit over the top, I can't really see this option in the context of the issue itself. Other than that, I think options 1-3 are balanced and I can see people choosing all three of them where it applies to their nation most.
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Tue Jun 16, 2020 10:08 am

Ko-oren wrote:Option 4 is a bit over the top, I can't really see this option in the context of the issue itself. Other than that, I think options 1-3 are balanced and I can see people choosing all three of them where it applies to their nation most.


That's a good point - I'll remove it. Thanks!
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Pythaga
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Postby Pythaga » Wed Jun 17, 2020 1:24 pm

Westinor wrote:looking for different word choice as opposed to “tourist offers” in effect line 3.
~snip~
[effect] @@ANIMAL@@ City's recent tourist offers have been labeled "The Trash Crab Cash Grab"


I'd suggest the following:
@@ANIMAL@@ City's newest tourist attractions have been labeled Trash Crab Cash Grabs

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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Wed Jun 17, 2020 2:21 pm

Pythaga wrote:
Westinor wrote:looking for different word choice as opposed to “tourist offers” in effect line 3.
~snip~
[effect] @@ANIMAL@@ City's recent tourist offers have been labeled "The Trash Crab Cash Grab"


I'd suggest the following:
@@ANIMAL@@ City's newest tourist attractions have been labeled Trash Crab Cash Grabs


Thanks!
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 22, 2020 9:17 pm

Made a few minor edits to the description and options 1 and 3
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jun 29, 2020 5:20 am

I like the descriptiveness of this issue, but I'm not at all convinced that it's that different from Issue 31. Aesthetic trappings aside, this is essentially just an issue about garbage-strewn beaches. Is there a way to make it stand out more from that premise?
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 29, 2020 10:32 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I like the descriptiveness of this issue, but I'm not at all convinced that it's that different from Issue 31. Aesthetic trappings aside, this is essentially just an issue about garbage-strewn beaches. Is there a way to make it stand out more from that premise?


I've cut down the description to hopefully change the focus to the hermit crabs, and further switched the focus to the potential of these hermit crabs as a spectacle through switching option orders and changing the end of the description (finding that most people find the hermit crabs in litter cute more than as a sign of environmental damage, so). Does this work better?
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Postby Westinor » Wed Jul 01, 2020 9:34 am

Swept through the issue one more time to clean it up, and going to move this up to last call soon. Feedback is continuously appreciated :)
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Postby Westinor » Sun Jul 05, 2020 9:00 pm

Tried to add in a little bit of flair to the first option, heh. Can't believe I didn't see it before :( Suggestions and feedback are appreciated! (especially on how I can improve the first seeing as I clearly do not have a grip on my childhood memories)
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:23 am

I don't know if the premise is clear enough that this isn't a deliberate action by the crabs attempting to adapt, but rather crabs mistaking plastic waste for abandoned shells, crawling in, then getting trapped and dying.

I mean, option 2 kind of mentions this, but it seems like a misrepresentation of the entire real life situation.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:25 am

I somehow doubt that every single piece of plastic waste is an inescapable deathtrap, even if crabs have trouble telling the difference between the ones that are and the ones that aren't.

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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:56 am

Sure, often they'll get out again. I just think its odd to present the issue as being an interesting way in which crabs are changing their behaviours, rather than an environmental disaster that is obliterating hermit crabs.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/plastic-po ... ery%20year.

Rather I'd expect the structure to be more like:

Premise: This ecological disaster is happening.
1: Clean up the beaches.
2: Address plastic waste.
3: (Crazy option) But it's so cute, let's cash in on this with tourism.

Instead, crazy option 3 takes the place of the premise.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Tue Jul 07, 2020 10:45 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Sure, often they'll get out again. I just think its odd to present the issue as being an interesting way in which crabs are changing their behaviours, rather than an environmental disaster that is obliterating hermit crabs.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/plastic-po ... ery%20year.

Rather I'd expect the structure to be more like:

Premise: This ecological disaster is happening.
1: Clean up the beaches.
2: Address plastic waste.
3: (Crazy option) But it's so cute, let's cash in on this with tourism.

Instead, crazy option 3 takes the place of the premise.


I've rewritten to issue to reflect these suggestions. As for not every crab dying, a significant amount still get trapped, enough to potentially damage the coastal environment.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:01 am

Looking good!
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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:26 am

Very nice issue premise, Westinor! It actually reminds me of another draft I had submitted some time ago,
though I have questions as to how alive it still is, alongside how applicable it would be.

Overall, between this and several of your other drafts, I'm pretty confident you'll be a multiple issues author in no time. :)
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 08, 2020 9:34 am

Right! Your first drafts aren't always great, but your last drafts often are, and that's what counts.
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Wed Jul 08, 2020 9:49 am

There's an incredible amount of happiness and quite possibly egotism rushing through me right now :lol:

I'll keep this up for a bit longer, if anyone has any other suggestions! Thanks everybody for the help :)
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Sat Jul 11, 2020 3:43 pm

Submitted! Thank you so much to everyone that helped me on this :lol:
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Australian rePublic
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Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jul 12, 2020 4:35 pm

Good Luck!
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