[ON HOLD] The Invisible Enemy

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

[description]A recent study conducted by scientists at @@CAPITAL@@ University has found that many homes across @@NAME@@ have dangerously elevated radon gas levels, even though most people are not aware of this problem. The scientists point out that radon exposure is one of the top causes of lung cancer in @@NAME@@ and demand immediate intervention.

[validity]all

1. [option]"Radon is a naturally occurring radioactive gas emitted from the ground due to breakdown of uranium, and everyone knows we are sitting on large uranium deposits here," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a radioactivity expert from @@CAPITAL@@ University, while holding a portable radon detector that ominously starts beeping as @@HE@@ walks around in your room. "We have only tested a modest sample of homes for this study, but we can extrapolate based on our results that millions of homes in @@NAME@@ must have this problem. The solution is simple. It should be mandatory for every family to have their homes tested for radon, and we should provide the homes with high radon levels with radon mitigation systems. It might cost a bit, but what is more important than public health?"

[effect]conspiracy theorists disassemble government-installed radon detectors in order to find hidden cameras inside

2. [option]"Now, now, let us not be hasty," interjects @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Austerity, as @@HE@@ grabs the kettle and pours more water over the battered tea bag in @@HIS@@ cup that @@HE@@ has been brewing the life out of since early morning. "I have heard that this gas naturally dissipates as it rises, so apartments on higher floors tend to have much lower radon levels compared to ground floor apartments. A cheaper solution would be to require all buildings to leave the lowermost two floors empty and have people live higher up. Regularly ventilating homes would also help, so maybe we should publish an advisory telling people to open their windows more often. This takes care of the problem, in my opinion."

[effect]there is a constant draft in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ homes

3. [option]"This just shows how much unused potential this country has!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of Uranus Uranium Mining Inc., rubbing @@HIS@@ hands and enthusiastically slapping your desk. "We should just do widespread radon testing, evacuate the homes with extraordinary radon levels, and start mining for uranium underneath them. My company will buy the properties from their owners at a reasonable price and help them find accommodation elsewhere. All we need to start digging is permission to do so and a generous subsidy on your part."

[option validity]capitalist

[effect]@@NAME@@ has been nicknamed 'The Land of a 1000 craters'

4. [option]"This just shows how much unused potential this country has!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, the general director of People's United Mining Collective, rubbing @@HIS@@ hands and enthusiastically slapping your desk. "We should just do widespread radon testing, evacuate the homes with extraordinary radon levels, and start mining for uranium underneath them. We can expropriate the properties and help our people find accommodation elsewhere. All we need to start digging is your permission to do so and off we go!"

[option validity]communist

[effect]@@NAME@@ has been nicknamed 'The Land of a 1000 craters'

[Australian rePublic]

I'm not against assuming that nation has uranium deposits, but I am against assuming that they're near capital

[Ko-oren]

I'm not against assuming that nation has uranium deposits, but I am against assuming that they're near capital

It's not necessarily/only assumed that the deposits are near capital, but that they're across the entire nation. I think the extrapolation in Option 1 about millions of homes across @@NAME@@ assumes a little too much about the size of the country (given that deposits are everywhere) and its population (which will have to be millions at least).

From the premise it's not immediately clear that this concerns radon gas so I was a little confused how exactly homes contained radon.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

I'm not against assuming that nation has uranium deposits, but I am against assuming that they're near capital

It's not necessarily/only assumed that the deposits are near capital, but that they're across the entire nation. I think the extrapolation in Option 1 about millions of homes across @@NAME@@ assumes a little too much about the size of the country (given that deposits are everywhere) and its population (which will have to be millions at least).

I think this is not a big problem for verisimilitude, since newly-founded nations in NS start with a population of 5 million anyway. If we assume that the average household size is 3 (it is 2.6 in the US, for comparison), a country of 6 million people (i.e., a typical NS nation on the 2nd day after being founded), will have 2 million households already. I don't know what number you would be comfortable with calling "millions" - but whatever number that is, it will likely be reached within a week or so.

From the premise it's not immediately clear that this concerns radon gas so I was a little confused how exactly homes contained radon.

I changed radon to radon gas in the first sentence of the description. Thank you!

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Bumpty dumpty

[Australian rePublic]

NS population is irrelevant for issues

[Westinor]

[description]A recent study conducted by scientists at @@CAPITAL@@ University has found that many homes across @@NAME@@ have dangerously elevated radon gas levels, even though most people are not aware of this problem. The scientists point out that radon exposure is one of the top causes of lung cancer in @@NAME@@ and demand immediate intervention.

I like this premise, though I've found a few word changes that I would implement-

[description]A recent study conducted by scientists at @@CAPITAL@@ University has found that many homes across @@NAME@@ have dangerously elevated radon gas levels, even though most people are not aware of this problem. despite a majority of the populace being unaware.

The scientists point out (I would say perhaps the scientific community, but I think what you have works fine)

1. [option]"Radon is a naturally occurring radioactive gas emitted from the ground due to breakdown of uranium, and everyone knows we are sitting on large uranium deposits here," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a radioactivity expert from @@CAPITAL@@ University, while holding a portable radon detector that ominously starts beeping as @@HE@@ walks around in your the room. "We have only tested a modest sample (modest amount? or small sample) of homes for this study, but we can extrapolate based on our results that millions of homes in @@NAME@@ must have share this problem. The solution is simple. It should be mandatory for every family to have their homes tested for radon, and we should providethe homes with high radon levels with radon mitigation systems. It might cost a bit, but what is more important than public health?"

Another few nitpicky changes, take what you will

2. [option]"Now, now, let us not be hasty," interjects @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Austerity, as @@HE@@ grabs the (was the kettle here before? If not, a) kettle and pours more water over the battered tea bag in @@HIS@@ cup that @@HE@@ has been brewing the life out of since early morning. "I have heard that this gas naturally dissipates as it rises, so apartments on higher floors tend to have much lower radon levels compared to ground floor apartments. A cheaper solution would be to require all buildings to leave the lowermost two floors empty and have people live higher up. Regularly ventilating homes would also help, so maybe we should publish an advisory telling people to open their windows more often. This takes care of the problem, in my opinion."

Again, one minor change. I like how the proposal in this option is cheaper but in reality not as economically efficient, great job!

Overall, I like this issue a lot! Sorry I don't have much else besides grammar changes to offer right now-but I think it's good!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I'm not keen on the issue, as it doesn't seem to attempt humour or satire at any point. Instead it presents an everyday public health issue and asks if its worth spending money to fix that issue. That's fine for real world governments, but here in NS there's no real downside to ever rising taxes or overspending, so there's not enough conflict in this dilemma to be worth telling a story about.