[SUBMITTED] Vouching For Students?

[Westinor]

This issue deals with the idea of school vouchers, where the government sets up a program offering some kids vouchers that can help pay off the tuition funds for private schools.

Thanks to Tinhampton for helping rewrite this! I've made a few minor edits - let me know what you think!

[title]Vouching for Students?
[description]While attending a parent-teacher meeting at a public school in @@NAME@@'s most underfunded school district, you just happened to sit next to one of your most promising legislators, @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. @@HE_1@@ appears to be leafing through The @@ANIMAL@@ City Trombone's latest report on Manamana's school voucher program, where every family with dependents receives a voucher equivalent to the amount of money that would otherwise be spent by the Manamanan government on their children's education, which the parents can then donate to any school of their choice — public or private.
[validity]must be capitalist, must not have already privatized all schools (co-authored by Tinhampton)

[option]"...and it says here that Manamanan private school students score higher on tests than children in other countries, including @@NAME@@!" exclaims @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@ to your right in wonder. "Even the loyal Trombone thinks that our public schools are far too rickety to support everyone; issuing vouchers can help parents send their children to better schools instead of trapping them in the public school system. In the interest of fairness, we should also show parents how much their government would otherwise be spending on their children's education — let them see how much value for money they're really getting, hm?"
[effect]train passengers and top principals alike are urged to "mind the gap"

[option]"If anything, introducing school vouchers is a terrible idea," promptly complains headteacher @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ to your left. "Do you really see every postbox in every home in @@NAME@@ as an opportunity for a private school to poach another bright student? In fact, I am so confident in the quality of our public education - even here - that I believe it would be worthwhile to promote it in other nations instead. Imagine: the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ International School, located on prime real estate by the Taxdodgian Sea and serving hundreds of bright, young children around the world each year!"
[effect]many of the nation's embassies double as secondary schools

[option]As @@RANDOMLASTNAME_2@@ finishes, you are tapped on the shoulder by a man who introduces himself as Lionel Wright. "The past thirty years of my life have been spent building one of the United Federation's most trusted school franchises, and I would be absolutely delighted to expand its educational wing to @@NAME@@," he boasts. "All I request is that you cease government intervention in school policy and competition as to cut down on the average @@DEMONYMNOUN@@'s tax burden - and if students can't meet their school's demanding criteria? Well, that's where my coal mining wing comes in..."
[effect]students who flunk their classes find themselves wearing mining helmets and wielding pickaxes
[FlagChange]"Child Labor" enacted, if not previously in force

[title] Vouching for Students?
[validity] Nations with the Capitalism policy, perhaps low public education

[topic] After another lackluster round of test scores in @@NAME@@, some of your advisors have proposed offering school vouchers for students, which would divert education funding towards providing tuition for students seeking alternative schools of their choice rather than public education funding. The issue has, unsurprisingly, sparked furious debate all throughout schools in @@NAME@@, with several parties seeking to have their say.

[option] “We absolutely must not offer school vouchers!” exclaims public school teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@. “My kids are perfectly fine where they are. Sure, the test results aren’t so great right now, but if you divert just a little bit of funding back towards the education budget, I can finally buy that house with the pool… err, I mean get new supplies for the children!” @@HE@@ fishes a class photo out of his pocket and shoves it in your face. “Please don’t give up on the public education system!”
[result] teachers drive to school in sports cars while their students read out of fifty-year old textbooks

[option] “It’s clear that the public education system is simply insufficient to support all of our children. It’s also unfair that some kids get a great education at private schools, while our kids are abandoned in the public school system!” rants frustrated parent @@RANDOMNAME@@. “We should offer school vouchers, and give our kids a chance!" @@HE@@ slams @@HIS@@ hands on your desk and looks you in the eye. "Please don’t give up on our children’s future!”
[result] children in well-funded private schools learn advanced math while children in underfunded public schools learn to count

[option] “Why not privatise all schools, and allow the free market to determine the quality of schools?”, inquires wealthy CEO and free-market advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@. “No more wastes of taxpayer money on an education system, or school vouchers. Allow any organization to open up schools-this will spark competition, which will inevitably increase the quality of our schools. Over time, you not only relieve the tax burden on @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, but you also offer the best education system one could ask for-one sparked by competition. It's as easy as one plus one-privatize all schools, and create a better education for children everywhere. Not including the poor ones, I suppose, but they could always work in unskilled labor-I’ve been looking for some new employees…”
[result] children who can’t afford school tuition join the labor force.

Draft 3 below! I've added on a few lines on option 1 and 2, as well as the description. More feedback is appreciated!

[title] Vouching for Students?
[validity] Nations with the Capitalism policy.

[topic] A bill has recently been proposed a program offering a select amount of students an opportunity to redeem school vouchers through an application process in @@NAME@@, allowing them to claim free, government-provided funds to attend an alternate school of their choice. Several teachers and parents have invited themselves into your office to discuss the matter.

[option] “We absolutely must not offer school vouchers!" exclaims public school teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@. “My kids are perfectly fine where they are. Sure, the test results aren’t so great right now, but if you divert just a little bit of funding back towards the education budget, I can finally get that new car I’ve always wanted… err, I mean get new supplies for the children!” @@HE@@ fishes a class photo out of his pocket and shoves it in your face. “Please don’t give up on the public education system!”
[result] teachers drive to school in sports cars while their students read out of fifty-year old textbooks.

[option] “It’s clear that the public education system is simply insufficient to support all of our children. It’s also unfair that some kids get a great education at private schools, while our kids are abandoned in the public school system!” rants frustrated parent @@RANDOMNAME@@. “We should offer school vouchers, and give some of our kids a chance! At least this way, we give our kids a chance. Please don’t give up on our children’s future!”
[result] children in well-funded private schools learn advanced math, while children in underfunded public schools learn to count.

[option] “Why not privatise all schools, and allow the free market to determine the quality of schools?”, inquires wealthy CEO and free-market advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@. “If you allow any business or organization to open up schools, you relieve the tax burden on the people that is the public education system, and alternate, privately-funded schools will be compelled to compete with one another, therefore improving the quality of schools and education for all children in @@NAME@@! Not including the poor ones, I suppose, but they could always work in unskilled labor-I’ve been looking for some new employees…”
[result] children who can’t afford school tuition join the labor force.

Draft 2 below! Fixed up and added some wording to option 3, and edited the effect line a bit.

[title] Vouching for Students?
[validity] Nations with the Capitalism policy.

[topic] A bill has recently been proposed offering a select amount of students an opportunity to redeem school vouchers through an application process in @@NAME@@, allowing them to claim free, government-provided funds to attend an alternate school of their choice. Several teachers and parents have invited themselves into your office to discuss the matter.

[option] “We absolutely must not offer school vouchers!” exclaims public school teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@. “My kids are perfectly fine where they are. Sure, the test results aren’t so great right now, but if you divert just a little bit of funding back towards the education budget, I can finally get that new car I’ve always wanted… err, I mean get new supplies for the children!” @@HE@@ fishes a class photo out of his pocket and shoves it in your face. “Please don’t give up on the public education system!”
[result] Teachers drive to school in sports cars while their students read out of fifty-year old textbooks.

[option] “It’s clear that the public education system is simply insufficient to support all of our children. It’s also unfair that some kids get a great education at private schools, while our kids are abandoned in the public school system!” rants frustrated parent @@RANDOMNAME@@. “We should offer school vouchers, and at least give our kids a chance! Please don’t give up on our children’s future!”
[result] Children in well-funded private schools learn advanced math, while children in underfunded public schools learn to count.

[option] “Why not privatise all schools, and allow the free market to decide the quality of schools?” inquires wealthy CEO and free-market advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@. “If you allow any business or organization to open up schools, they’ll be compelled to compete with one another, therefore improving the quality of schools for all children in @@NAME@@! Not including the poor ones, I suppose, but they could always work in unskilled labor-I’ve been looking for some new employees…”
[result] Children who can’t afford private schools join the labor force.

Draft 1 below! (minor grammar and word choice changes, as well as sweeping up some mistakes)

[title] Vouching for Students?
[validity] Nations with capitalism as a policy

[topic] A recent bill has been proposed offering students an opportunity to claim school vouchers through an application process in @@NAME@@, where students could claim free, government-provided funds to attend a private school. Several teachers and parents have invited themselves into your office to discuss the matter.

[option] “We absolutely can not offer school vouchers!” exclaims public school teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@. “My kids are perfectly fine where they are-sure, right now the test results are so great, but if you just divert a little bit of funding back towards the education budget, I can finally get that new car I’ve always wanted… er, I mean get new supplies for the children!” @@HE@@ fishes out a class photo and shoves it in your face. “Please don’t give up on the public education system!”
[result] Teachers drive to school in sports cars while their students read out of fifty-year old textbooks.

[option] “It’s clear that the public education system is simply insufficient to support all our children. It’s also unfair that some kids get a great education at private schools, while our kids are abandoned in the public school system!” rants frustrated parent @@RANDOMNAME@@. “We should offer school vouchers to some kids, and give them a chance! Please don’t give up on our children’s future!”
[result] Children in well-funded private schools learn advanced math, while children in underfunded public schools learn to count.

[option] “Why not privatise all schools, and allow the free market to decide the quality of schools?” inquires wealthy CEO and free-market advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@. “If you allow any business or organization to open up schools, they’ll be compelled to compete with one another, therefore improving the quality of schools for all children in @@NAME@@! Not including the poor ones, I suppose, but they could always work in unskilled labor-I’ve been looking for some new employees…”
[result] Children who can’t afford private schools join the labor force.

[Free Workers Confederacy]

This issue would only be valid for nations that have both a private and public sector.

Also, maybe you could specify what criteria make students eligible to receive vouchers?

[Westinor]

This issue would only be valid for nations that have both a private and public sector.

Also, maybe you could specify what criteria make students eligible to receive vouchers?

Good point! I'll edit that

[Deacarsia]

I like this idea!

[Westinor]

I like this idea!

Thanks, it makes me really happy to hear that! Do you have any suggestions on what I could improve?

[Westinor]

Also, suggestions on the title would be greatly appreciated! It’s not completely final yet, so please feel free to suggest anything!

[Australian rePublic]

If the government is going to attend any school, what would be the point of public schools? Is this an alternative to public schools?

[Westinor]

If the government is going to attend any school, what would be the point of public schools? Is this an alternative to public schools?

So the idea I'm presenting is school vouchers for a select amount of students-in this case, for a select amount who apply, first-come priority. The third option is where the public education system is abolished in favor of independent organizations running alternate schools-I'll try to make that clearer in this next edit.

Made a few edits to word choice-is it clearer now?

[Westinor]

I've done some self editing and word choice using advice you guys have given me, and come up with a third draft! Feel free to give any thoughts or ideas on what I can do to improve this draft-everything so far has been greatly appreciated!

[Australian rePublic]

Could the children of billionaires count as "select number of children"?

[Westinor]

Could the children of billionaires count as "select number of children"?

yep, the system admittedly has flaws-which is why the issue is debated. The children of billionaires assumable already go to private schools as they probably do in real life, and so the issue of school vouchers right now is in offering students, no matter what class, a technical choice to what school they would like to go to as an alternative to public education. To many people, this makes any sort of embracement of school vouchers essentially giving up public education. I suppose to make this all clearer I could separate the first sentence and add that it is a pilot program, which would effectively give reason for the "select" amount of students that can apply to the program, which again, is first-come priority which means anyone can make it in.

[Westinor]

I've created a fourth draft, after looking into the details of the issue a bit more. I've added a few lines in the description, first and second option that sort of clarify the idea that the program is for a select amount of children-please let me know if that isn't clear yet, I'm not exactly sure. Also, I edited another bit of word choice to avoid making the option and effect line in option 1 too similar/repeating a joke, but if anyone feels that the wording or flow of that feels off, please feel free to let me know too-it feels a bit that way to me, so input would be very much appreciated! Lastly, I might be considering this for a contest draft, which is why I've been pushing it a bit. The more comments, the better-I'd really like to get this submitted and in good shape soon, so any comments and criticism are greatly valued! Thank you!

[Westinor]

I've edited the description and first two options to add a bit of story-please let me know if it might be a bit redundant or unneeded!

[Westinor]

I'm going to bump this one up a bit, heh
A bit eager to continue receiving feedback

[Tinhampton]

How eager? For starters, you've gotten the process of how school vouchers are distributed wrong: they are usually given to all families with children (whether below a certain income or regardless of their salary) rather than to individual students who apply for them.

[Westinor]

How eager? For starters, you've gotten the process of how school vouchers are distributed wrong: they are usually given to all families with children (whether below a certain income or regardless of their salary) rather than to individual students who apply for them.

fairly eager
That's a good point-I was thinking, in general, for my issue that I apply school vouchers as a pilot program-but I'm starting to see why that might not be working so well. I'll work on retooling the issue towards vouchers for everyone

Edit: Made the change, though I think I'll work more on it tomorrow. Thanks!

[Westinor]

Gonna bump this back up now that the contest is finished!

[Tinhampton]

Since that's happened, congratulations on winning a free Tinhamptonian Rewrite^TM proposal to make this draft a bit more... fluent, so to speak. As usual, take it or leave it and you may cite Tinhampton as a co-author in the validity line if you think this is good, etc.

[title]Vouching for Students?
[description]While attending a parent-teacher meeting at a public school in @@NAME@@'s most underfunded school district, you just so happen to be sat next to one of your most promising legislators, @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. @@HE_1@@ appears to be leafing through The @@ANIMAL@@ City Trombone's latest report on Manamana's school voucher program, where every family with dependents receives a voucher equivalent to the amount of money that would otherwise be spent by the Manamanan government on their children's education, which the parents can then donate to any school of their choice - public or private.
[validity]must be capitalist, must not have already privatised all schools

[option]"...and it says here that Manamanan private school students score better on many tests than children in most other countries, including @@NAME@@!" exclaims @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@ to your right in wonder. "Even the loyal Trombone thinks that our public schools are now far too rickety to support everyone; issuing vouchers can help parents send their children to better schools while saving money... somehow. In the interest of fairness, we should also tell parents how much their government would otherwise be spending on their children's education - let them see how much value for money they're really getting, won't you?"
[effect]train passengers and top principals alike are urged to "mind the gap"

[option]"If anything, introducing school vouchers will be a terrible idea," promptly complains headteacher @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ to your left. "Do you really see every postbox in every home in @@NAME@@ as an opportunity for a private school to poach another bright student? In fact, I am so confident in the quality of our public education - even here - that I believe it would be worthwhile to promote it in other nations instead. Imagine: the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ International School, located on prime real estate by the Taxdodgian Sea and serving hundreds of children around the world each year!"
[effect]most of the nation's embassies also double up as secondary schools

[option]@@RANDOMLASTNAME_2@@ has barely finished by the time you get tapped on the shoulder by a man who introduces himself as Lionel Wright. "The past thirty years of my life have been spent building one of the United Federation's most trusted school franchises and I would be absolutely delighted to expand its educational wing to @@NAME@@," he boasts. "All I request is that you cut out all government intervention in school policy and competition so you can slice off a bit of the average @@DEMONYMNOUN@@'s tax burden - and if your students can't meet their school's demanding criteria? That's where my coal mining wing comes in..."
[effect]only the least successful students have lights sticking out of their heads
[FlagChange]"Child Labor" enacted, if not previously in force

(Lionel Wright is totally not Leonard Reed, founder of the IRL Foundation for Economic Education ;P)

[Westinor]

Since that's happened, congratulations on winning a free Tinhamptonian Rewrite^TM proposal to make this draft a bit more... fluent, so to speak. As usual, take it or leave it and you may cite Tinhampton as a co-author in the validity line if you think this is good, etc.

[title]Vouching for Students?
[description]While attending a parent-teacher meeting at a public school in @@NAME@@'s most underfunded school district, you just so happen to be sat next to one of your most promising legislators, @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. @@HE_1@@ appears to be leafing through The @@ANIMAL@@ City Trombone's latest report on Manamana's school voucher program, where every family with dependents receives a voucher equivalent to the amount of money that would otherwise be spent by the Manamanan government on their children's education, which the parents can then donate to any school of their choice - public or private.
[validity]must be capitalist, must not have already privatised all schools

[option]"...and it says here that Manamanan private school students score better on many tests than children in most other countries, including @@NAME@@!" exclaims @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@ to your right in wonder. "Even the loyal Trombone thinks that our public schools are now far too rickety to support everyone; issuing vouchers can help parents send their children to better schools while saving money... somehow. In the interest of fairness, we should also tell parents how much their government would otherwise be spending on their children's education - let them see how much value for money they're really getting, won't you?"
[effect]train passengers and top principals alike are urged to "mind the gap"

[option]"If anything, introducing school vouchers will be a terrible idea," promptly complains headteacher @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ to your left. "Do you really see every postbox in every home in @@NAME@@ as an opportunity for a private school to poach another bright student? In fact, I am so confident in the quality of our public education - even here - that I believe it would be worthwhile to promote it in other nations instead. Imagine: the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ International School, located on prime real estate by the Taxdodgian Sea and serving hundreds of children around the world each year!"
[effect]most of the nation's embassies also double up as secondary schools

[option]@@RANDOMLASTNAME_2@@ has barely finished by the time you get tapped on the shoulder by a man who introduces himself as Lionel Wright. "The past thirty years of my life have been spent building one of the United Federation's most trusted school franchises and I would be absolutely delighted to expand its educational wing to @@NAME@@," he boasts. "All I request is that you cut out all government intervention in school policy and competition so you can slice off a bit of the average @@DEMONYMNOUN@@'s tax burden - and if your students can't meet their school's demanding criteria? That's where my coal mining wing comes in..."
[effect]only the least successful students have lights sticking out of their heads
[FlagChange]"Child Labor" enacted, if not previously in force

(Lionel Wright is totally not Leonard Reed, founder of the IRL Foundation for Economic Education ;P)

Thank you so much for this! I've basically incorporated it into my draft/made a few tiny changes to it - let me know what you think! (I'll add you as a co-author, much appreciated!)

[Westinor]

Made some small edits to desc and options 1 and 2 to try and snip a little bit - I like to think that I'm smoothening things out when in reality I'm probably just roughening it up. Oh well. Let me know what you think!

[Westinor]

Going to move this up to last call - let me know if you still have anymore suggestions!

[Westinor]

Going to submit this soon so that I can start moving on to other ideas - any last comments would be appreciated :3

[Westinor]

Submitted! Thank you everyone

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck

[Westinor]

Good Luck

Thanks! :3