The Issue:
After the successful conclusion of a cabinet meeting, your Finance Minister, @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ pulls you aside and tells you @@HE@@ will be in your office in 5 minutes to discuss a trade deal with a neighboring nation. 5 minutes later, the door opens… and a person you’ve never seen before walks in. They introduce themselves as your new Finance Minister and tell you that the old one has been assassinated.
The Debate:
1. “@@LEADER@@, as your Finance Minister, I would like to tell you that I would approve any increase in the security budget,” says @@RANDOMNAME_2@@, looking around nervously. “I mean, it’s just not safe! My predecessor was assassinated walking up the stairs to come discuss trade, and I don’t know if I can take the stress without additional security. In fact, why not get some extra security for all of your ministers, while you’re at it?”
Effect: @@CAPITAL@@ is ranked as the safest city in the world.
2. “@@RANDOMNAME_2@@ is on the right track,” agrees your Chief of Security, @@RANDOMNAME_3@@. “But you’ll notice, @@HE_2@@ forgot to mention you in @@HIS_2@@ new security plan. As our Glorious Leader, the threat of your assassination is real. In fact, I propose a whole new office, one with no windows and no doors. That way, no terrorist or political opponent can ever dream of assassinating you.”
Effect: no-one has seen @@LEADER@@ emerge from their bank vault in living memory.
3. All of a sudden, your Minister of State, @@RANDOMNAME_4@@, steps out of the shadows and chimes in: “Of course @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ was assassinated on @@HIS_1@@ way up to your office. That’s the way these things have always been. In fact, I’ve only been Minister of State for 3 minutes.” @@HE_4@@ says, pausing to consult @@HIS_4@@ watch. “Between cabinet meetings, and even between issues, your entire cabinet gets replaced, have you ever noticed? Just officially deny all assassinations, it will save our @@TYPE@@ some money.”
Effect: “assassin” has been removed from all @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ dictionaries.
4. Your Aunt Bea steps into your office carrying a tray with your lunch on it. She pauses to remark, “I remember the good old days back in Canfruit, when it was just your cousin, Sheriff Tailor, and his deputy managing things. Why do you even need all of these silly ministers, anyway? After all, you’re so smart, and intelligent, and wise, just like Andrew…” She stares off into the distance, reminiscing about the good old days in Canfruit.
Effect: @@NAME@@’s Ministers have less job security than its janitors.
