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[DRAFT] Marshalling a Mile-High Problem

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Chan Island
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Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

[DRAFT] Marshalling a Mile-High Problem

Postby Chan Island » Sat May 23, 2020 11:10 am

After an air marshal on a domestic flight pulled a handgun arresting a 6 month old baby for 'auditory terrorism', the nation's fliers, criers and people passing to say hi have all jetting to your office with opinions.

validity: puts police on airplanes

[option] "The problem is that this officer was clearly bored," explains @@RANDOMNAME@@, criminology professor at the University of Somewhere-In-@@NAME@@ over the marshal in question. "And no wonder. Not a single incident has happened on flights since we adopted the air marshal program... because crime on airplanes is very, very rare. My research has shown that withdrawing the air marshals and assigning them to other duties would have a much more substantial impact on public safety. Let airport screenings do the heavy lifting. Air passengers will be fine."
[effect] commercial flights are a lawless wasteland of butter knives and crying babies

[option] "The issue was that he didn't have the mental strength!" cries self-proclaimed @@NAME@@'s best air marshal over his colleague, @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, with an impressive tally of 172 uneventful journeys under his belt. "Not many people know this, but terrorists are masters of disguise. Sometimes they even look like people! Only the most determined, eagle-eyed and dedicated recruits are fit for such a dangerous position."
[effect] the nation's best detectives read murder mysteries on the @@CAPITAL@@ to @@ANIMAL@@ City short-haul.

[option] Before the marshal in question can speak, @@RANDOMNAME@@, the person with the most @@DENONYM@@ Airways frequent flyer miles, butts in, "Obviously we're missing the real problem about him. And that's that it took him so long to get on a flight! And why do we even put cops on the jets when we screen everybody at the airport anyway, taking away my right to carry a vintage 2008 fully auto? Seems simple to me. Get rid of the ground security, and give the air marshal a second clip. Everybody happy!"
[effect] a flight is considered boring without at least 1 shooting

[option] "LET ME SPEAK!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, the officer who caused the incident in the first place, pulling their gun on everybody. "THANK YOU. ...Look, @@LEADER@@, trust me when I say that I acted completely within my rights. That little windbag had been crying for 15 minutes straight. Sure, maybe I acted a bit hastily, but I was on my own in a serious developing situation. Get me some backup - ideally a better conversationalist than that granny from @@CURRENCY@@ Bay- and we'll keep the skies clear.
[effect] thousands of action movie fans have applied to join the 'air cops'
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Australian rePublic
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Sat May 23, 2020 7:11 pm

Can we assume that nation has air marshals?
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Honeydewistania
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Capitalist Paradise

Postby Honeydewistania » Sat May 23, 2020 7:13 pm

I think the validity takes care of that
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Australian rePublic
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Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Sat May 23, 2020 7:16 pm

Can we assume that nation calls them air marshals?
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Honeydewistania
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Capitalist Paradise

Postby Honeydewistania » Sat May 23, 2020 7:18 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:Can we assume that nation calls them air marshals?

I don’t really know. We also assume the police are called the police, but I suppose that isn’t the same.
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Chan Island
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Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Chan Island » Wed Jun 03, 2020 2:03 am

Australian rePublic wrote:Can we assume that nation calls them air marshals?


Air marshals is the only name I really know of, so that's what I'm going with.
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Ko-oren
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Ko-oren » Wed Jun 03, 2020 3:12 am

Sky marshal, air marshal, or flight marshal, apparently. Naming them air marshals is fine.

Option 3 feels a bit contradictory: we know it's a passenger speaking, saying 'why do we even put cops on planes' (assuming he wants the cops to be gone), then switching his point to 'taking away my right to carry' (assuming he wants guns on planes for everyone), only to conclude 'get rid of the ground security and give the air marshal a second clip'. Not only does he want the air cops to stick around, he also isn't adamant on his 'guns for everyone' take.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Capitalizt

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jun 10, 2020 2:16 am

After an air marshal on a domestic flight pulled a handgun arresting a 6 month old baby for 'auditory terrorism', the nation's fliers, criers and people passing to say hi have all jetting to your office with opinions.


Said marshal gets fired and probably prosecuted.

Not really anything here that needs a government decision.

And this bit here...

the nation's fliers, criers and people passing to say hi have all jetting to your office with opinions.


...shows that YOU know that too.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people


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