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[PASSED] Commend Crushing Our Enemies

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Jakker City
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[PASSED] Commend Crushing Our Enemies

Postby Jakker City » Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:15 pm

This is the second attempt at commending COE. I took the feedback from the previous attempt and tried to rework the draft to align with what others conveyed. Let me know your thoughts!

The Security Council,

Acclaiming Crushing Our Enemies’ years of leadership within NationStates and declaring that this body should not be deterred by the nation's name, but instead focus on their accomplishments,

Remarking that the nominee controls General COE of The North Pacific (TNP); the largest region in NationStates,

Impressed with General COE’s dedication to The North Pacific's security through their involvement in the region’s Security Council; both as a member and as the Vice-Delegate which oversees the council,

Declaring General COE as a leading author of legislative and constitutional reform proposals that have increased the stability and effectiveness of TNP's democratic governance including:
  • The How a Bill Becomes a Law Amendment: Clarified how and when legislation takes effect;
  • The OR Bill: Added language to the regional legal code for consistent handling of citizenship applications;
  • The Oath Reform Bill: Eliminated a formatting barrier for new members applying for citizenship;
  • The Reopen Nominations Fix Bill: Improved voting ballots to allow citizens to both express their preference of candidate as well as whether or not to reopen nominations;
  • The Let's Stop Worrying About Numbers Bill: Added expectations for how constitutional clauses were formatted and allowed Speakers to correct formatting errors in a more streamlined process;
  • The Zombie Preparedness Act: Allowed the region to more efficiently handle zombie emergencies;
Revering their persistence in developing physical copies of the region’s constitution and delivering these documents to 200 fellow nation leaders,

Emphasizing General COE’s efforts in modernizing the operations of the region’s Speakers Office and transforming the position into a significant role that nations actively aspire to by:
  • Adding responsibilities to the Deputy Speakers' role for smoother transitions and to promote the retention of institutional memory;
  • Updating the list of nations that held membership in the Regional Assembly after months of neglect and setting a new standard for the prompt processing of new member applications;

Underscoring the importance of this nation's role in the creation of the Election Commission within The North Pacific, as well as the design of many mottos for governmental offices that increased pride and prestige,

Thanking General COE 's leadership, including being appointed as the first Surgeon General, in developing the regional strategic responses and organizing the distribution of cures to other nations during times in which TNP has faced zombie epidemics,

Illuminating the nominee's 10+ years of military accomplishments, which has included:
  • Developing a rank and promotion system that many regional military groups have adopted and continue to use to this day to help clarify roles and allow new nations to understand how to achieve each rank; which did not simply outline hierarchical positions like others before, but gave new responsibilities and recognition with promotions;
  • Playing a vital role in the foreign policy practices and regional responses of The Black Hawks' Council including the aftermath of the military weapon, Predator, being found to be against international law;
  • Promoting a culture of professionalism and responsibility in The Black Hawks that exists to this day, despite the potential of unsavory nations being drawn to conquering other regions;

Noting that Crushing Our Enemies has made several musical contributions to NationStates including the songs, Moves Like Jakker and Grey Wardens Boogie,

Yielding that while their songs have not won every global song contest competed in, they have earned numerous awards and these songs are known across NationStates,

Concluding that this nominee has devoted much energy towards maximizing the Organization of regional practices for the benefit of so many other nations and should be Esteemed by this body,

Hereby commends Crushing Our Enemies.
Last edited by Ransium on Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:14 pm, edited 35 times in total.

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Kuriko
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Postby Kuriko » Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:38 pm

Jakker City wrote:Praising Crushing Our Enemies’ efforts to develop a culture of professionalism and responsibility in The Black Hawks that exists to this day, despite the potential of unsavory nations being drawn to conquering other regions,

It's not very professional to destroy an innocent community for no reason, and yes I'm talking about Asia. No support as long as you continue to act like helping a raider region that destroys innocent communities for fun is a commendable act. Like I said in the last attempt.
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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:48 pm

Kuriko wrote:
Jakker City wrote:Praising Crushing Our Enemies’ efforts to develop a culture of professionalism and responsibility in The Black Hawks that exists to this day, despite the potential of unsavory nations being drawn to conquering other regions,

It's not very professional to destroy an innocent community for no reason, and yes I'm talking about Asia. No support as long as you continue to act like helping a raider region that destroys innocent communities for fun is a commendable act. Like I said in the last attempt.

The Black Hawks are fully professional (apart from a certain few that are easily removed). Does anybody seriously believe that TBH are, in fact, a bunch of slack amateurs who set forty-minute triggers, occasionally set off from Artificial Space Station and can hardly tell apart a defender target from a raider point? :roll:

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South Reinkalistan
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Postby South Reinkalistan » Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:56 pm

Support.
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Bormiar
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Postby Bormiar » Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:59 pm

In the most radical perspective possible:

Decline of NationStates from The Black Hawks

Image

I wasn't able to draw this, but you can imagine that COE was pushing that slope upwards, just like what you think about defenders.

Creating a non-toxic environment in a video game is not a bad thing.

Edit: TNP used the exact same logic in supporting your commendation, Kuriko, so at least we're consistent. I doubt TNP is a fan of 10KI's foreign affairs (and some of the voters were explicitly against it), but your work in making it less isolationist is something we can support. We don't have to support the organization to support improving the organization (and NationStates by extension). When I wrote the IFV, I made sure to mention FA to calm the dislike for 10KI's FA.
Last edited by Bormiar on Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Kuriko
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Postby Kuriko » Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:03 pm

When someone actively piles in an operation to grief an innocent community, it doesn't make a commendation nominee. COE is currently piling with the nation Adarna Schistaceus, tracked from his last known switcher from tagging Phoenix Solitarius. We should not be commending people for the fact of helping to lead organizations that grief innocent communities, period.

4/21/2020, 12:51:31 PM EDT: Phoenix Solitarius resigned from the World Assembly.

4/21/2020, 12:52:45 PM EDT: Adarna Schistaceus was admitted to the World Assembly.
Last edited by Kuriko on Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Aurum Raider
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Postby Aurum Raider » Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:04 pm

Kuriko wrote:We should not be commending people who helped lead organizations that grief innocent communities, period.

I assume a repeal of Evil Wolf's commendation will be forthcoming, then?
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The Notorious Mad Jack
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Postby The Notorious Mad Jack » Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:06 pm

Full support and if XKI's delegate causes this to fail again I sincerely hope TNP will take similar measures the next time a bunch of TITO backpatting happens. COE's contributions to TNP alone deserve commendation.
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Bormiar
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Postby Bormiar » Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:08 pm

Aurum Raider wrote:
Kuriko wrote:We should not be commending people who helped lead organizations that grief innocent communities, period.

I assume a repeal of Evil Wolf's commendation will be forthcoming, then?

Among others.

See my edit Kuriko.
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Kuriko
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Postby Kuriko » Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:09 pm

The Notorious Mad Jack wrote:Full support and if XKI's delegate causes this to fail again I sincerely hope TNP will take similar measures the next time a bunch of TITO backpatting happens. COE's contributions to TNP alone deserve commendation.

You're right, his TNP contributions deserve commendation. His TBH ones, however, do not.

Aurum Raider wrote:
Kuriko wrote:We should not be commending people who helped lead organizations that grief innocent communities, period.

I assume a repeal of Evil Wolf's commendation will be forthcoming, then?

It's been tried, and unfortunately it has failed. But he wasn't commended for leading a raider region, rather leading Lazarus.
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Visorax
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Postby Visorax » Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:35 pm

I support this.

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Asterguard
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Postby Asterguard » Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:53 pm

Support.
Whats going on here

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Reventus Koth
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Postby Reventus Koth » Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:59 pm

COE and I have butted heads in the past but I'm glad he's back now and I'm ready to welcome him back into active raiding with open arms.

I wholly support this proposal as long as Kuriko is here to play fun police :)
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Lord Dominator
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Postby Lord Dominator » Fri Apr 24, 2020 3:13 pm

Jakker City wrote:Noting that because of this nation’s intentional design, it significantly improved the retention of new nations, ensured the recognition of skilled nations, and ultimately promoted leadership development across militaries,

I am rather unclear about what this clause is supposed to mean.
Complementing that Crushing Our Enemies played a vital role in the foreign policy practices and regional responses of The Black Hawks' Council including the aftermath of the military weapon, Predator, being found to be against international law,

Praising Crushing Our Enemies’ efforts to develop a culture of professionalism and responsibility in The Black Hawks that exists to this day, despite the potential of unsavory nations being drawn to conquering other regions,

Hmm, thought here. What about combining these two clauses into a list (since they speak to the same thing) something like this:
Through foreign policy response and promotion of a professional culture COE:
- Created a regional culture in TBH that excluded those unsavory nations drawn to conquering other regions
- Crafted a response to the revelations that the Predator super-weapon, including policies being put in place to ensure no usage of illegal super-weapons happened again in the future


Obviously a very rough draft of what I'm proposing, but I hope you get the idea.
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Jakker City
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Postby Jakker City » Fri Apr 24, 2020 4:38 pm

Lord Dominator wrote:
Jakker City wrote:Noting that because of this nation’s intentional design, it significantly improved the retention of new nations, ensured the recognition of skilled nations, and ultimately promoted leadership development across militaries,

I am rather unclear about what this clause is supposed to mean.
Complementing that Crushing Our Enemies played a vital role in the foreign policy practices and regional responses of The Black Hawks' Council including the aftermath of the military weapon, Predator, being found to be against international law,

Praising Crushing Our Enemies’ efforts to develop a culture of professionalism and responsibility in The Black Hawks that exists to this day, despite the potential of unsavory nations being drawn to conquering other regions,

Hmm, thought here. What about combining these two clauses into a list (since they speak to the same thing) something like this:
Through foreign policy response and promotion of a professional culture COE:
- Created a regional culture in TBH that excluded those unsavory nations drawn to conquering other regions
- Crafted a response to the revelations that the Predator super-weapon, including policies being put in place to ensure no usage of illegal super-weapons happened again in the future


Obviously a very rough draft of what I'm proposing, but I hope you get the idea.


Thanks for the thoughts. I'll work on clarifying a bit and trying to clean that up.

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Numero Capitan
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Postby Numero Capitan » Fri Apr 24, 2020 5:07 pm

I still don't really feel like I know what a lot of these sentences are trying to refer to:

a leading author of legislative and constitutional reform proposals which has served to ensure that regional practices have remained updated over the years


What does this mean and why is it notable?

Impressed with General COE’s years of dedication to the security of The North Pacific


I don't like the emphasis being placed on 'years of dedication'. If they have contributed positively to the stability and security of TNP, that should be the emphasis. This just reads like they hung around for long enough to be party to the regions own success in maintaining stability.

Appreciating their efforts of developing physical copies of the region’s constitution and delivering these documents to fellow nations,


What is this a reference too, doesn't necessarily need changing but I'd like to understand what it means and why its commendable

Updating the nation list of the regional legislature and setting a new standard for the processing of new member applications,


This feels like a pretty dull sentence, is there a way to sell it better?

Recognizing the nominee’s 10+ years of military accomplishments, which includes developing the rank and promotion system that many regional military groups use to this day,


I asked about this before, who else uses this system? It seems very basic. Also the paragraph that follows it seems to need merging into this one.

Since your last proposal was defeated COE has also abdicated their responsibilities in TNP to become a tag-raider. Not only that but COE has chosen to take a role as a Private, which doesn't really sell their competence and military prowess to me (regardless of the 'should we commend raiders' argument). Others have professionalised TBH in military terms.

Concluding that this nominee has devoted years to maximize the Organization of regional practices for the benefit of their partner nations and should be Esteemed by this body,


If this sentence encapsulates the totality of the proposal, then I really don't think it sells a commendation. I don't feel the proposal as written adequately expresses COE's contributions to the game or gives WA members a fair basis to consider the merit of a commendation (or otherwise).

Rejected proposals should only be returned to the Security Council when they have been seriously reconsidered and this proposal seems very similar (and suffers from the same issues) as the rejected proposal. Sorry that I can't be more positive but I feel like this draft needs a significant rewrite.
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Jakker City
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Postby Jakker City » Fri Apr 24, 2020 6:52 pm

Numero Capitan wrote:
Appreciating their efforts of developing physical copies of the region’s constitution and delivering these documents to fellow nations,


What is this a reference too, doesn't necessarily need changing but I'd like to understand what it means and why its commendable


COE led a project where he along with others made physical mini versions of TNP's constitution and mailed them to citizens. I think that is going above and beyond for the members of the region.

Numero Capitan wrote:
Recognizing the nominee’s 10+ years of military accomplishments, which includes developing the rank and promotion system that many regional military groups use to this day,


I asked about this before, who else uses this system? It seems very basic. Also the paragraph that follows it seems to need merging into this one.


The next clause speaks more to that and COE discusses in detail the importance of what he did in this post: viewtopic.php?p=36694834#p36694834

Numero Capitan wrote:Since your last proposal was defeated COE has also abdicated their responsibilities in TNP to become a tag-raider. Not only that but COE has chosen to take a role as a Private, which doesn't really sell their competence and military prowess to me (regardless of the 'should we commend raiders' argument). Others have professionalised TBH in military terms.


That personal decision has nothing to do with competence or ability. He simply wanted the opportunity to see what it is like to go through the organization now that is much more organized (in many ways thanks to him) than when he was put into leadership positions. I'd argue this speaks to his modesty. As far as I can tell, he also is just doing what he wants. I'd argue most of us who have influence in this game have too much pride to see things from fresh eyes.

As for your other comments, I'll take a look. There's a few writing edits I need to make. From my understanding, the proposal did not pass previously not so much for the writing, but because of the narrative that the proposal was praising COE's raiding history. For anyone who is on the camp of "I'd vote for a commendation of COE if you take out the stuff about TBH," I would encourage you to read over the proposal. I only reference raiding once and the pieces related to TBH do not even convey raiding in a positive light. This proposal does nothing to indirectly praise raiding or TBH.

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Postby Fauxia » Sat Apr 25, 2020 1:09 pm

I think you’ve done a good job separating out the raiding from the commendable stuff. Even as a defender, I will probably support this, as long as it does not take an explicitly pro-raider stance.
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Jakker City
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Postby Jakker City » Sat May 16, 2020 9:48 am

As an update, the draft has been significantly updated with a lot more detail and clarity. It should give a much better idea of the accomplishments. Let me know if you have any questions.

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Postby -Astoria » Sat May 16, 2020 9:51 am

Support.if only because of that title

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Daytime to Night
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Postby Daytime to Night » Sun May 17, 2020 1:21 am

Haven't had a chance to have a proper read through, but as you have only used the TNP acronym once in the text, you might as well just make it the North Pacific ;)
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Jakker City
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Postby Jakker City » Sun May 17, 2020 9:48 am

Daytime to Night wrote:Haven't had a chance to have a proper read through, but as you have only used the TNP acronym once in the text, you might as well just make it the North Pacific ;)


TY, I added more acronyms.

IMO and AFAIK, this proposal is close to submission. LMK, NS.
Last edited by Jakker City on Sun May 17, 2020 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Sun May 17, 2020 10:18 am

Bits! Bobs! Doodahs! Other whatits! It's mostly here...
Jakker City wrote:
The Security Council,

Acclaiming Crushing Our Enemies’ years of leadership within NationStates and declaring that this body should not be deterred by the nation's name, but instead focus on their accomplishments,

Acknowledging that the nominee controls General COE of The North Pacific (TNP); , the largest region in NationStates,

Impressed with General COE’s dedication to the security of The North Pacific TNP's security through their involvement in the region’s Security Council; both as a member and as the Vice-Delegate which oversees the council,

Declaring General COE as a leading author of legislative and constitutional reform proposals that have increased the stability and effectiveness of TNP's democratic governance Such as?,

Applauding their persistence in developing physical copies of the region’s constitution and delivering these documents to 200 fellow national leaders,

Further applauding their commitment to justice and democracy within TNP through multiple terms as Attorney General and Court Justice How did they do so?,

Appreciating General COE’s efforts in modernizing the operations of the region’s Speaker's Office and transforming the position into a significant role that nations actively aspire to by:

  • Prioritizing leadership development the development of regional leadership, through (for instance) like adding responsibilities to the Deputy Speakers' role for smoother transitions and the retention of institutional memory How?,
  • Revamping the nation list of the regional legislature Updating the list of nations that held membership in the Regional Assembly after months of neglect and setting a new standard for the prompt processing of new member applications,

Admiring that during times in which TNP has faced zombie epidemics, General COE has been a leading nation, even serving as the first appointed being appointed as the first Surgeon General, in developing the which entailed the development of regional strategic responses and organizing the distribution of cures the organisation of cure distribution to other nations,

Observing This does not make sense when spoken using the word "Observing." Perhaps find a better operative clause here and word this clause better? General COE as the creator of the Election Commission within The North Pacific, as well as their designing of many mottos for governmental offices that has increased positional pride,

Recognizing that the nominee also has 10+ almost fifteen years of military accomplishments, which has included:

  • Developing the a rank and promotion system that many regional military groups use to this day, have adopted and continue to use to this day to help clarify roles and allow new nations to understand how to achieve each rank; which did not simply outline hierarchical positions like others before, but gave new responsibilities and recognition with promotions,
  • Further noting that the rank system has helped militaries to clarify roles and has provided new nations with an understanding of how to achieve each rank,
  • Playing a vital role in the foreign policy practices and regional responses of The Black Hawks' Council including the aftermath of the military weapon, Predator, being found to be against international law,
  • Developing a culture of professionalism and responsibility in The Black Hawks (No need to link to TBH twice) that exists to this day, despite the potential of unsavory nations being drawn to conquering other regions,

Applauding the musical contributions to NationStates that has have come from Crushing Our Enemies, including the songs, Moves Like Jakker and Grey Wardens Boogie,

Highlighting that the nominee’s musical productions have been submitted in several global song contests and have even won on several some occasions,

Concluding that this nominee has devoted much energy towards maximizing the Organization of regional practices for the benefit of so many other nations and should be Esteemed by this body,

Hereby commends Crushing Our Enemies.
Author: SC#250, SC#251, SC#267, GA#484
Joint author: Issue #1115 (with Turbeaux)
Co-author: GA#491 (by The Greater Soviet North America)
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Jakker City
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Postby Jakker City » Tue May 19, 2020 3:28 pm

The proposal has been updated with suggested edits. I'll see if I can get more detail for the legislative line and the justice line.

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Jakker City
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Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Jakker City » Sun May 24, 2020 6:31 am

I've added even more detail for you cool kids out there. I'll take feedback for another week or so before moving forward.

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