[LAST CALL] Goods Not So Good, Say Consumers

[Lamenia]

A revival of an old idea I had a while ago. Cheers!

#1330: Goods Not So Good, Say Consumers

The Issue
After a little girl tried to open a peanut butter jar and was instead greeted with a rat, protesters have interrupted your lunch of a bread sandwich to talk to you.

The Debate
1. "This is an outrage!" yells @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, The disgusted father of the girl. "@@NAME@@ is better then this. We must preform quality checks on all goods!" He shows you the rat, which is still covered in peanut butter.


Fallout: caviar is the only food allowed by the government

Option 2 validity: Socialist

2. "That man is right in ideals, but wrong in methodology." says John Tall, C.E.O. of foreign store Tallmart. "Socialism is unfeasible. One organization can't do everything in a nation." He seems to conduct a bizarre job interview with the rat.

Fallout: Tallmart is the dominant supermarket chain

Option 3 validity: Socialist

3. "No!" Screeches @@RANDOMNAME@@, your most devoutly socialist advisor. "Quantity, not quality. That's the saying, right? Point is, we need mass production, even if we have to sacrifice quality. I'd rather everyone have mediocre food then a few have good food while the rest starve." @@HE@@ Tries to eat the rat, but is stopped by one of your aides.


Fallout: state provided food is little more then goop

Option 4 validity: Capitalist

4. "Bah!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an anarcho-capitalist entrepreneur. "We should let corporations do their thing. If the people are too dumb to figure out the difference between good and bad, that's their problem." @@HE@@ attempts to persuade the rat to start its own company.


Fallout: people must choose between Jelly and Gunpowder, with no packaging difference

Option 5 validity: Capitalist

5."The father was right, but I suggest something more extreme. Complete government ownership." says @@RANDOMNAME@@, A socialist thinker. "Socialism will allow us to preform checks easily, not to mention keep the people safe from selfish corporations. Glory to the workers!" @@HE@@ puts a small military uniform on the rat, dubbing it comrade whiskers.

Fallout: socialism has been installed

#1330: Government Goods Not So Good, Say Consumers

The Issue
After a little girl tried to open a peanut butter jar and was instead greeted with a rat, the people of @@NAME@@ are incredibly annoyed and questioning if the current economy is doing well with regards to food. In other words: The rat has been let out of the jar.

The Debate
1. "This is an outrage!" cries @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the infamously over-the-top father of the girl. "We citizens work SO HARD, and this is our thanks! I demand that the government do quality checks on all goods distributed! Or else..." He traces his neck with his finger.

Fallout: caviar is the only food allowed by the government

Option 2 validity: Socialist

2. "My friend is right," says John Tall, the C.E.O. of foreign supermarket Tallmart. "Socialist goods are simply intolerable. We need capitalism in @@NAME@@. Simply privatize everything, and your problems will disappear. We'd love a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ branch!"
He lights a cigar.

Fallout: Tallmart is the dominant supermarket chain

Option 3 validity: Socialist

3. "Hah! Dirty capitalist!" proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your most devotedly socialist adviser. "Don't you know what they say? Quantity, not quality. That's what they say, right? But anyway, we NEED socialism, and we NEED mass production! Glory to the workers!" @@HE@@ eats what appears to be state provided...Something.

Fallout: state provided food is little more then goop

Option 4 validity: Capitalist

4. "Heeeeeeeeeey." slurs @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is definitely a real, legit business@@MAN@@ and totally not a drug dealer. "Don't put any regulations on us...businesspeople. It'll be good for the economy! The people can decide what's good and what's not, riiiiiiight? Full capitalism!"
@@HE@@ takes a puff of...a cigar.

Fallout: people must choose between Jelly and Gunpowder, with no packaging difference

Option 5 validity: Capitalist

5."Hey! I have an idea!" proclaims a man dressed in full military uniform, AK47 and all. "Make everything owned by the government. That way, we can preform checks on all resources easily!"

Fallout: socialism has been installed

#1330: Government Goods Not So Good, Say Consumers

Validity :Invalid for capitalist nations. Invalid for nations with high welfare.

The Issue
After a little girl tried to open a peanut butter jar and was instead greeted with a rat, the people of @@NAME@@ are incredibly annoyed and questioning if the government is doing well with regards to food. In other words: The rat has been let out of the jar.

The Debate
1. "This is an outrage!" cries @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the infamously over-the-top father of the girl. "We citizens work SO HARD, and this is our thanks! I demand that the government do quality checks on all goods distributed! Or else..." He traces his neck with his finger.

Fallout: Caviar is the only food given by the government

2. "My friend is right," says John Tall, the C.E.O. of foreign supermarket Tallmart. "Socialist goods are simply intolerable. We need capitalism in @@NAME@@. Simply privatize everything, and your problems will disappear. We'd love a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ branch!"
He lights a cigar.

Fallout: Tallmart is the dominant supermarket chain

3. "Hah! Dirty capitalist!" proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your most devotedly socialist adviser. "Don't you know what they say? Quantity, not quality. That's what they say, right? But anyway, we NEED socialism, and we NEED mass production! Glory to the workers!" @@HE@@ eats what appears to be state provided...Something.

Fallout: State provided food is little more then goop

[Australian rePublic]

Option 2- If you're socialist, how do you have CEOs? I know socialism=/=communism, but still

[Lamenia]

Option 2- If you're socialist, how do you have CEOs? I know socialism=/=communism, but still

It's a foreign CEO.

[Tadreodal]

Don't capitalize the verb right after a quote

[Australian rePublic]

Option 2- If you're socialist, how do you have CEOs? I know socialism=/=communism, but still

It's a foreign CEO.

1. How did a foreign CEO get into your office?
2. Specufy he's a foreigner

[Lamenia]

It's a foreign CEO.

1. How did a foreign CEO get into your office?
2. Specufy he's a foreigner

How did *any* of them get into your office? And it's clarified with "We'd love an examplian branch!", but I guess I may as well.

[Fauxia]

1. You can toggle options, making a capitalist and a socialist variant, so this doesn’t have to just be for socialist nations.

2. The validity should be more stringent. This probably requires high economic freedom and low health.

3. The narrative is a little bit bland right now. “The people are questioning the government” as the last sentence lf the description is kind of meh.

[Lamenia]

1. You can toggle options, making a capitalist and a socialist variant, so this doesn’t have to just be for socialist nations.

2. The validity should be more stringent. This probably requires high economic freedom and low health.

3. The narrative is a little bit bland right now. “The people are questioning the government” as the last sentence lf the description is kind of meh.

1. This issue is totally based around socialism, so
2. Low welfare funding, prob
3. I'll try and fix that.

[Fauxia]

Your description:

After a little girl tried to open a peanut butter jar and was instead greeted with a rat, the people of @@NAME@@ are incredibly annoyed and questioning if the government is doing well with regards to food. In other words: The rat has been let out of the jar.

You stuck the word “government” in, but I really don’t see why you can’t just as well make it private and available for both capitalist and socialist nations. There’s no need for extraneous validity checks.

[Lamenia]

Your description:

After a little girl tried to open a peanut butter jar and was instead greeted with a rat, the people of @@NAME@@ are incredibly annoyed and questioning if the government is doing well with regards to food. In other words: The rat has been let out of the jar.

You stuck the word “government” in, but I really don’t see why you can’t just as well make it private and available for both capitalist and socialist nations. There’s no need for extraneous validity checks.

Ah! I could do that!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

The mental image of a rat in a peanut butter jar is visually evocative, but that's all there is going for this issue. The dilemma itself is too thin, and the premise too vague.

I'd suggest abandoning this one, but saving that mental image for use in another issue.

[Lamenia]

The mental image of a rat in a peanut butter jar is visually evocative, but that's all there is going for this issue. The dilemma itself is too thin, and the premise too vague.

I'd suggest abandoning this one, but saving that mental image for use in another issue.

Eh, I don't think I will. I've put a ton of effort into this, and I can't really just throw this away. That said, this could use a bit of editing to make it less vague. So prepare for the final draft.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Of course, that's your prerogative. And be assured that we'll always give a full read and fair assessment of the final submission before deciding whether or not it works for the game, regardless of any prior advice whether to proceed or not.

[Lamenia]

/bump

[Fauxia]

Don’t bump things when they’re still on the first page. Quite a few of us, including some of the editors, go through threads bottom to top, so you aren’t helping yourself.

I don’t know how much more there is to say.

[Lamenia]

Don’t bump things when they’re still on the first page. Quite a few of us, including some of the editors, go through threads bottom to top, so you aren’t helping yourself.

I don’t know how much more there is to say.

Welp, I'm submitting then.

[Authoritaria-Imperia]

Yeah, I'm happy to give you some guidance if you haven't submitted yet, but if you've already gone ahead then obviously it's too late. For future reference, most issues will got through weeks of editing. This one has been around for five days and it shows.

[Lamenia]

Yeah, I'm happy to give you some guidance if you haven't submitted yet, but if you've already gone ahead then obviously it's too late. For future reference, most issues will got through weeks of editing. This one has been around for five days and it shows.

Lucky for me, I'm lazy and haven't done it! What would you suggest?

[Authoritaria-Imperia]

Well, you've got some strange wording in places… the part about the person being "greeted with a rat", for instance, is just bizarrely phrased, and so the issue doesn't read well in places. I'd go through and flesh out different ways of wording anything that pops out as badly worded. You've got some typos too, so definitely check for them.

And then option 3 — it doesn't do anything. All it says is, "nah, socialism is great, so we as the government aren't go to do anything". You could give it a purpose (add an effect) or drop the option entirely (which will make it a two-option issue for socialist nations, and that may not be what you want).

The second effect line may not work, since effect lines are strung together on the Nation page of the player answering the issue. A reference to "Tallmart" won't make any sense out of context.

Also think about how this issue will look. No one's going to get all five options, after all, because of the validities. And the flow is really strange for a capitalist nation — they get one reasonable, quality-checks option, one no-regulations option (which completely ignores the issue at hand and makes the problem worse), and one socialist option (which only works if the speaker links it to the problem by saying that goods will be better-quality when produced by the government). Your issue kind of goes off the rails and ignores the stimulus after the first two options.

And come to think of it, for capitalist nations, the title makes no sense. Government goods? What government goods? The government doesn't make goods in capitalist nations.

[Lamenia]

Well, you've got some strange wording in places… the part about the person being "greeted with a rat", for instance, is just bizarrely phrased, and so the issue doesn't read well in places. I'd go through and flesh out different ways of wording anything that pops out as badly worded. You've got some typos too, so definitely check for them.

K. Got it.

And then option 3 — it doesn't do anything. All it says is, "nah, socialism is great, so we as the government aren't go to do anything". You could give it a purpose (add an effect) or drop the option entirely (which will make it a two-option issue for socialist nations, and that may not be what you want).

In capitalist nations, it has an obvious effect. In socialist nations, the effect is meant to be "Make more food, but make it not as good.". That said, I could make it more clear.

The second effect line may not work, since effect lines are strung together on the Nation page of the player answering the issue. A reference to "Tallmart" won't make any sense out of context.

Eh, a lot of fallouts don't make sense out of context. For example:
9 hours ago: Following new legislation in Lamenia, rioting during the nation's hosting of ORDER caused one million halmens of property damage.

Also think about how this issue will look. No one's going to get all five options, after all, because of the validities.

I don't see that as a problem.

And the flow is really strange for a capitalist nation — they get one reasonable, quality-checks option, one no-regulations option (which completely ignores the issue at hand and makes the problem worse), and one socialist option (which only works if the speaker links it to the problem by saying that goods will be better-quality when produced by the government). Your issue kind of goes off the rails and ignores the stimulus after the first two options.

Well, the argument for option 2 is "It's their problem if they're to dumb to figure out goods qualities!" But I'll try and fix 3.

And come to think of it, for capitalist nations, the title makes no sense. Government goods? What government goods? The government doesn't make goods in capitalist nations.

Oops! I forget to remove the "Government". Will do!

[Authoritaria-Imperia]

And then option 3 — it doesn't do anything. All it says is, "nah, socialism is great, so we as the government aren't go to do anything". You could give it a purpose (add an effect) or drop the option entirely (which will make it a two-option issue for socialist nations, and that may not be what you want).

In capitalist nations, it has an obvious effect. In socialist nations, the effect is meant to be "Make more food, but make it not as good.". That said, I could make it more clear.

Yes, it has an obvious effect in capitalist nations. But unfortunately you've set the validity so that capitalist nations will never get that option! And the effect in socialist nations still isn't clear to me — maybe that's just me though.

Well, the argument for option 2 is "It's their problem if they're to dumb to figure out goods qualities!" But I'll try and fix 3.

Yeah, what you've added helps by keeping the issue more focused.

[Lamenia]

In capitalist nations, it has an obvious effect. In socialist nations, the effect is meant to be "Make more food, but make it not as good.". That said, I could make it more clear.

Yes, it has an obvious effect in capitalist nations. But unfortunately you've set the validity so that capitalist nations will never get that option! And the effect in socialist nations still isn't clear to me — maybe that's just me though.

Well, the argument for option 2 is "It's their problem if they're to dumb to figure out goods qualities!" But I'll try and fix 3.

Yeah, what you've added helps by keeping the issue more focused.

Noted. Currently editing.

[Lamenia]

Finally got my draft done after accidentally deleting my work.

[Authoritaria-Imperia]

Sorry, but I personally don't think your edits have fixed things. The purpose of option 3 still isn't clear to me.
Also, I get this is humour, but the things ending each option (he tries to eat/hire/etc. the rat) don't really make sense. How would you visually observe that the rat is being, say, hired as a mercenary? Does he say something? You have enough space to add a line spoken to the rat or similar — at present the wording just seems strange.

[Lamenia]

Sorry, but I personally don't think your edits have fixed things. The purpose of option 3 still isn't clear to me.
Also, I get this is humour, but the things ending each option (he tries to eat/hire/etc. the rat) don't really make sense. How would you visually observe that the rat is being, say, hired as a mercenary? Does he say something? You have enough space to add a line spoken to the rat or similar — at present the wording just seems strange.

I'll try to make things clearer.