The Daily Carrot (Comedy)(Slice of Life)(OOC)

[Main Nation Ministry]

The Daily Carrot

Inspired by the movie trailer of the movie genre of Wes Anderson and his love for the New Yorker.
Anderson, please remake Terry Gilliam's Brazil. You will be so perfect for it.

In-Character

In the fine years of the 21th century, the Daily Carrot was there. Among the lines of the New Yorker, the Daily Carrot focuses itself in the near-pitch perfect city of the possibly fictional Anywhere City, United States. The Daily Carrot focuses on the simple and the uncommon. World politics and important events, the fine arts of the highs and lows, stories of the typical, illogical, eccentric, bizarre, insane, incorrect, and the overall ridiculous.

This is your story.

About: So what is the Daily Carrot? The Daily Carrot is an unique comedy and slice of life RP that focuses on your character being a journalist for the fictional magazine of The Daily Carrot. You work in a small and nearly dilapidated building in a "present day" 21th century United States in the city of Anywhere City. Anywhere City is deliberately made to be ambiguous and a surreal mind screw on it's location, though it's attributes is that the city is reminiscent of classical Americana and old town America. For research, I had to call the Anywhere City Tourism Division on what state the city is in (the phone number I managed to get a hold on was found at the bottom of a trash can full of McDonald's Big Mac wrappers), though it was no help. The only information I did get was that it was a step away from upstate New York and on the other side of the city, one can see the Hagia Sophia.

History of the Daily Carrot: The Daily Carrot was founded on the morning of Christmas in 1973, as a Christmas gift by the eccentric and dying Gustav Zissou towards his son, Randy Zissou. The last of Zissou's fortunes, which were due to profiting off from his vineyard and butter making dairy, before it was bulldozed in favor of a Walmart, were inherited to Randy, under the conditions that they would be put to good use. Randy, being the type who wanted to make sure that he still had millions of dollars by having a job that can make sure he still had millions of dollars, decided the best course of action was running his own printed media company.

The mid-70's were a modest point for journalism, since the Vietnam War was ending. Randy Zissou decided to partner with an old friend named Michael Noonan, who runs some oil fields around Anywhere City, with help on developing the company. The Daily Carrot appeared as a main idea, after both Zissou and Noonan were rumored to have gotten high off from a mixture of ketamine, glue, Valium, and Pixy Stixs. Both agreed that the result of this idea was a bad trip. Thus, the Daily Carrot was born.

The first issue focused primarily on the culture of Anywhere City and the arts. Much unusual highlights discussed in the first issue were the obituary of an artist who died during some performance art involving trying to sleep underwater and the story of the exotic toast enthusiasts of the Panama Canal. Zissou was paranoid that the first issue weren't sell well, so he had Noonan send copies overseas across the Pacific and Atlantic as a backup plan, if the magazines weren't selling well. While high sales were in Anywhere City, many people found the Daily Carrot to be too weird, strayed too heavily from mainstream topics around the time, and was commonly mistaken as a gardening magazine.

Zissou later gotten a polite letter from a businessman in Japan, requesting more issues.

And thus business boomed.

Soon, the ironic carrot emblem on the cover of every issue has let readers know that they were reading a fresh copy of the Daily Carrot. While both Zissou and Noonan pretty much retired and managed to use their profits to attempted ways to ascend to a higher plane of existence before dying, the one who helps with the Daily Carrot is the editor in-chief. For the editor in-chief, they are responsible for making sure that the Daily Carrot sells like hotcakes or like grand slams at a Denny's restaurant. They hire journalists, or probably some random guy off the street, since the alternative is fairly cheaper. Plus, a free job is a free job, especially in this type of economic climate. Usually, before an editor in-chief retires or dies, they pick a random individual to fill the role.

And this is where you come in!

Overall Story of the RP: For this RP, the story is set in present-day. The editor in-chief and some of his top journalists have died during a trip to see if the Bermuda Triangle is really cursed. Sadly, it is. Anywhere City is still around, but no money has been bothered to upgrade the Daily Carrot offices. Your offices, where your journalist characters will be working is this image below here.

The whole goal is to produce stories or other information for the Daily Carrot, which is further elaborated in the rules, without having the business go under. A main story arc deals with the new editor in-chief, a middle-aged melancholic man named Francis Smith, who is revealed to be the son of the late recent editor in-chief. He is caught up with the responsibility of managing the Daily Carrot, while dealing with criticisms from the original staff of Smith's nepotistic arrival to the office. While this arc unfolds, your characters are free to interact with one another and create their own story arcs. Maybe romance, maybe your character has an interesting secret (I understand, really. Pickle Rick is such an overrated meme, it's too hard to be honest with it), or maybe something is happening in Anywhere City that is stirring a lot more attention than it should.

Rules:
1. Fun is important. Without fun, the world is a cold and horrible place without a sense of joy. Make sure to have tons of FUN!
2. While any form of comedy is appreciated...well, expect for Scary Movie 2 and 5 and all of the Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer movies, make sure to keep it at a PG-13 level. Black or dark comedy is allowed, but don't go way overboard with it. I know when someone goes overboard when I see it.
3. No godmodding, cheating, or meta-gaming.
4. There are no fact-checkers in this RP, so feel free to have your characters come up with as much lies as they want in this post-truth environment. There! I saw a political joke that's probably going to get dated fast. Can I have that 2 grand now?
5. The type of RP is a sandbox city, however there may be times where things will have to be railroaded, solely to prevent your characters from noclipping into the Backrooms.
6. "Calling in work sick" is another term in the IC for a character that is inactive. If you believe you will be inactive for a heavy amount of time, let me know! Your character wouldn't vanish, but in the IC, other characters will give the explanation that the inactive character is sick, or has a family emergency to attend to. (Or for comedic reasons, they can be at home getting paid while slacking.)
7. Be respectful to other people in the OOC.
8. While I'm aware that some might have Mary Sues or Marty Stu's applied for the sake of comedic effect, for the sake of variation, the standard no Mary Sues and/or Marty Stu's is still enforced.
9. Grammar is still important. Try to be neat as possible.
10. Co-ops may be assigned in the future.
11. Rules and explanation of writing stories or other stuff will be explained below.

What to Do for the Daily Carrot: How does one contribute to an issue of the Daily Carrot? You write stories of what's happening around in Anywhere City and the world, of course! Not just that, while characters can post stories of decent journalism, they can have commentary on events, criticism and reviews, essays, fiction stories, satire, poetry, advertisements and even some images to be in the Daily Carrot. All of this information is given to Smith, where he would most likely not read it and just have it in an issue, regardless of the consquences.

To write a story or article, here are some recommendations:

1. The Traditional Way: You write your article by the traditional sense. You get a headline and who's writing it, then you write paragraphs of information about the topic of the article. Since bias isn't something you should worry about, feel free to decide whether objective or far-sided content is something you should add.

2. Star of the Story Way: You write your article, where you write what happens in their point of view. After having a headline, your character appears in the story RPing their coverage of the event that the article is covering.

Now onwards with the apps! Or the best term is your resumes!

Apps for both of my two characters will appear later, before the IC pops up.

Code: Select all

[box]Name:
Age: (Child Labor is allowed at Daily Carrot. I just let that sink in.)
Sex:
Appearance: (Photo or word description is allowed, however be extremely detailed with word description)
Skills you believe will make you qualified for the workplace:
Previous Employment, N/A if none:
[hr][/hr]
Explain More About Yourself: (AKA your biography)
Requests for your workspace (optional): (Don't piss off the Daily Carrot by using their money to appeal to your selfish needs)
Request for secondary job (optional): (if your character feels bored at their standard job as a journalist, they can apply for a secondary job at the same building. Helps to increase the paycheck)
Preferred Type of Coverage (optional): (Ex: Sports, Politics, Cooking, Arts, Etc.)
Likes and Dislikes (optional):
Running Gags (optional):
Other notes you feel are important for your employer to know (optional)[/box]

Hired Staff of the Daily Carrot:

Francis Smith (OP): Current Editor In-Chief of The Daily Carrot
Jean-Marc Consommer (OP): Food Critic/Journalist
Lechle de la Mazière (Nouveau Quebecois): Paid Intern/Paper Delivery and Salesman
Leo Dice (Silverblade): Managing Editor
DeMarcus Clark (Talchyon): Sports Journalist
Maximillian August Wolfgang Schubert Müller, Count of Schwarzberg-Hinterhausen (Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States): Art Journalist and Reviewer
Isaacarine Domeka Rosenberg (Voxija): Journalist
Daniel "Dutch" Van Dyke (Pax Nerdvana): Outdoors Writer and Journalist
Caroline Digby (Mediama): Journalist/Comic Artist/Secret Agent
Dakota Copperfoot (Free Ward Marchers): Political Journalist and Intern
Finn Bauer (Ovesa): Farming and Outdoors Journalist/Gardener
Conn Spirou (Barapam): Investigative Journalist/Conspiracy Theorist

[Silverblade]

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[Main Nation Ministry]

Hey! I like the idea. Would it be ok if I make my character the Managing Editor? They would also be a political journalist.

That sounds good, however remember that the editor in-chief is in charge of the office.

[Silverblade]

==============

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

Any room for an art reviewer?

[Main Nation Ministry]

Any room for an art reviewer?

Of course!

[Khasinkonia]

I don't know as to if I'll have time to app and rp here, as I'm already stretched a bit this, but I do intend to keep up with this, if not as a writer, as a viewer. Hopefully I can find a way to dedicate time to apping, but if not, consider me an audience

[Nations United for Conquest]

Tempted to fill up the Advice Column and/or the "Good/Bad Week for [blank]" column that I enjoy in a news magazine I'm subscribed too. I currently have hurt my wrist so my writing ability is limited, but this should be a good way to stay creatively active

[Nouveau Quebecois]

So does one have to be a reporter? Can I have a character working as a paid intern?

[Main Nation Ministry]

So does one have to be a reporter? Can I have a character working as a paid intern?

You're allowed to be a paid intern, though your character is still able to write stories for the Daily Carrot.

[Silverblade]

-----------

[Talchyon]

tag. Great idea Main.

[Talchyon]

So OP, am I understanding that The Daily Carrot is like a tabloid, or perhaps a satire magazine?
Also, if I pick a sportswriter, can I make fun of real teams?

[Main Nation Ministry]

So OP, am I understanding that The Daily Carrot is like a tabloid, or perhaps a satire magazine?
Also, if I pick a sportswriter, can I make fun of real teams?

The Daily Carrot is a magazine (pretty much similar to the actual New Yorker) that is meant to reflect the choices your characters make. Depending on the type of content characters make, each issue might end up focusing on one aspect with the same type of content, such as gossip or satire, depending on the amount of the same type of stories put in an issue. So your character can end up trying to make the Daily Carrot be a tabloid or a satire magazine.

And yes, you can be a sportswriter to make fun of the Patriots. gets another grand or two for making fun for the Patriots, "You can stop bribing me now, there are onto us!"

Name: Leo Dice

Age: (Child Labor is allowed at Daily Carrot. I just let that sink in.) 24

Sex: Male

Appearance: (Image)
except more younger looking and a scruffy beard.

Skills you believe will make you qualified for the workplace: Can make what he believes is good lies, Politically biased, and good leadership skills...
Previous Employment, N/A if none: McDonald's, Political Staff.

---

Explain More About Yourself: Leo was born in somewhere street of everywhere city (???). He Grew up in an average life to average parents. At the age of 12, he became an assistant at "The Daily Carrot" working regularly when off from school. As he aged and went through high school. At this time (no need to add, as you can use a comma instead) he also tried working at McDonalds on the side but that quickly ended. Eventually, he became a full reporter and started writing articles about local, state, and national politics. Sometimes he did a variety of articles. Eventually, Leo went to University, Dual majoring in Political Science and Journalism. Soon he thought that these degrees were pretty much pointless and started questioning his life choices.

When Leo graduated he had more time to work on "The Daily Carrot" and he became an editor and not long after that Managing Editor. Leo feels like a Middle-aged worker despite being only 24. It has stressed him and made him a workaholic. Although in recent years he has began cutting back from that which has had interesting results.

Requests for your workspace (optional): Modern Windows 10 Computer, good wifi, private coffee machine, Different colored pens to scrutinize new people's Articles, Managing editor stuff.
Request for secondary job (optional): (if your character feels bored at their standard job as a journalist, they can apply for a secondary job at the same building. Helps to increase the paycheck) None for now.
Preferred Type of Coverage (optional): (Ex: Sports, Politics, Cooking, Arts, Etc.) Politics but sometimes does other things.
Likes and Dislikes (optional):
Running Gags (optional):
Other notes you feel are important for your employer to know (optional)

Applying for Managing Director of "The Daily Carrot"

While the app is good, it's going to need a bit of spit and polish. Grammar needs to be more polished, since there were a lot of mistakes. Also, to avoid some confusion, I ask that it's best to add that Leo is the Managing Director in Notes, since he already in the occuption, around with the fact that he's in no need for a secondary job currently.

I check the app again, when everything is neat and the grammar is all good. So take your time, though.

[Nouveau Quebecois]

Name: Lechle de la Mazière
Age: 17
Sex: Male
Appearance:

Black hair, blue eyes, 1.7m (5'9"), lean build @ 165lbs (75kg).

Skills you believe will make you qualified for the workplace: Diploma from prestigious Academy, bilingual (English & French), studious nature, committed, etc etc.
Previous Employment, N/A if none: Paper Delivery for The Daily Carrot.

---

Explain More About Yourself:

Lechle de la Mazière was born in the Northern-End of 'Anywhere City' to an aristocratic and distant Anglo-French dynastic family. He attended a prestigious and religious school for the top students in the region, but fell out of grace and family coverage when he was caught cheating on semester exams. Thought he retained top marks up until then, he struck a deal with the Headmaster that he would resign from the school on account that one of their best students isn't disgraced for cheating, and in turn the academy could save face from such an embarrassment. De la Mazière, regardless, graduated with his degree from his preppy school, but was kicked off his family plan and barred from inheritance. Moving downtown at the age of 16, de la Mazière made a living residing in a small-town Apartment that was too cold in the winter and too humid in the summer, getting by with oddjobs, from delivering the paper from local media company 'The Daily Carrot', to tutoring local students who attended the much less prestigious downtown schools. Though he's known locally, an aura of mystery and rumour still surround his sudden resignation from the aristocratic side of society.

On his seventeenth birthday, celebrated by no more then his close circle of friends and a stolen bottle of scotch, he received a letter announcing the death of his father, his last parent. Though his final will & testament announced that his possessions would be split evenly between his children, de la Mazière's sister, the much more prestigious and successful Blaise de la Mazière, who married into a corrupt wealthy family young, seized most if not all of their father's possessions and wealth.

Now de la Mazière plans to eventually become a journalist and expose his sister's thievery and the corruption of the family she married into, while coming back to riches and to return to the family plan. His best option came when 'The Daily Carrot' announced it was hiring. Though he didn't meet all requirements for immediate employment, through a temp agency he was hired as a paid intern.

Requests for your workspace: De la Mazière would be lucky to get his own desk. He requests a new bicycle for deliveries anyways.
Request for secondary job: Paper Salesmen or Paper Delivery.
Preferred Type of Coverage: Local News, Arts, Education.
Likes and Dislikes: Cigarettes, alcohol, 'hipster culture', retro music.
Running Gags: here's a theme, I guess?
Other notes you feel are important for your employer to know: Applying as a Paid Intern.

[Silverblade]

---------

[Main Nation Ministry]

I fixed it I think. Btw "Somewhere street" is just meant to be a name for a random street like anywhere City.

Alright, I needed to clear up some confusion, since Anywhere City on your app was listed as Everywhere City.

[Silverblade]

----------

[Main Nation Ministry]

Name: Lechle de la Mazière
Age: 17
Sex: Male
Appearance:

(Image)
Black hair, blue eyes, 1.7m (5'9"), lean build @ 165lbs (75kg).

Skills you believe will make you qualified for the workplace: Diploma from prestigious Academy, bilingual (English & French), studious nature, committed, etc etc.
Previous Employment, N/A if none: Paper Delivery for The Daily Carrot.

---

Explain More About Yourself:

Lechle de la Mazière was born in the Northern-End of 'Anywhere City' to an aristocratic and distant Anglo-French dynastic family. He attended a prestigious and religious school for the top students in the region, but fell out of grace and family coverage when he was caught cheating on semester exams. Thought he retained top marks up until then, he struck a deal with the Headmaster that he would resign from the school on account that one of their best students isn't disgraced for cheating, and in turn the academy could save face from such an embarrassment. De la Mazière, regardless, graduated with his degree from his preppy school, but was kicked off his family plan and barred from inheritance. Moving downtown at the age of 16, de la Mazière made a living residing in a small-town Apartment that was too cold in the winter and too humid in the summer, getting by with oddjobs, from delivering the paper from local media company 'The Daily Carrot', to tutoring local students who attended the much less prestigious downtown schools. Though he's known locally, an aura of mystery and rumour still surround his sudden resignation from the aristocratic side of society.

On his seventeenth birthday, celebrated by no more then his close circle of friends and a stolen bottle of scotch, he received a letter announcing the death of his father, his last parent. Though his final will & testament announced that his possessions would be split evenly between his children, de la Mazière's sister, the much more prestigious and successful Blaise de la Mazière, who married into a corrupt wealthy family young, seized most if not all of their father's possessions and wealth.

Now de la Mazière plans to eventually become a journalist and expose his sister's thievery and the corruption of the family she married into, while coming back to riches and to return to the family plan. His best option came when 'The Daily Carrot' announced it was hiring. Though he didn't meet all requirements for immediate employment, through a temp agency he was hired as a paid intern.

Requests for your workspace: De la Mazière would be lucky to get his own desk. He requests a new bicycle for deliveries anyways.
Request for secondary job: Paper Salesmen or Paper Delivery.
Preferred Type of Coverage: Local News, Arts, Education.
Likes and Dislikes: Cigarettes, alcohol, 'hipster culture', retro music.
Running Gags: here's a theme, I guess?
Other notes you feel are important for your employer to know: Applying as a Paid Intern.

Everything looks good! Just have Lechle not damage the papers while riding his bike. Overall, he's ACCEPTED

oh my bad. I cant edit it anymore now tho. I can copy it if nescceary. Am I accepted?

You should be able to edit your posts. You can copy and edit your app, though.

[Talchyon]

Name: DeMarcus Clark
Age: 28
Sex: Male
Appearance:

Skills you believe will make you qualified for the workplace: An insane amount of NFL trivia knowledge. Some knowledge of basketball, baseball, soccer. Some photography skills. Some writing ability.
Previous Employment: former free safety for the Anywhere City Renegades, a semi-pro football league that never amounted to anything in the wide world of sports. Before that, DeMarcus had worked as a lawn care specialist.

---

Explain More About Yourself: DeMarcus Clark had NFL dreams ever since he could remember. Growing up and watching the greats play, like Peyton Manning and an old Brett Favre, DeMarcus was sure in high school that he would be one of the few, proud, athletes the nation would see on Sunday afternoon tv.

Unfortunately, college recruiting coaches didn't share quite that same vision. Not recruited for any university known for it's football program, or any division-I university in general, DeMarcus went to Anywhere City University, with a football scholarship. He was able to play safety - even saw some decent playing time in varsity games his senior year. Anywhere City University, however, was also not known for it's football program. (The University concentrates on business and education majors).

Still, DeMarcus persisted. He pushed himself, training, making highlight videos of him, testing, all so that he might get a chance to get invited to the NFL combine. Didn't happen. Anywhere City University did have a pro day, though, when scouts from various NFL franchises came to scope out the (meager) talent the school had. There were four team scouts there that day! DeMarcus never got a phone call from any of them.

He went and tried out for the local semi-pro team, the Anywhere City Renegades and was accepted. He played two and a half seasons, before the league ran out of money and folded. Since then, DeMarcus knew he needed a job, and wanted to spend his career in sports journalism so he could spout off NFL facts that his mind never seemed to forget. The Daily Carrot was the only place in town or on the web hiring.

Personally, DeMarcus' parents are still living. He stops in and sees them every so often. A few younger brothers, none of whom made it to the bright lights of the gridiron either. Definitely no wife, because you first need to be dating someone to get to that stage, and DeMarcus still hasn't gotten there yet. So he's single. Lives with a few roommates.

Requests for your workspace (optional): Laptop with internet access and enough storage to save several jpegs and other pics of the games he covers. Charger cord. Gas money. External hard drive. A nicer camera would also be nice, otherwise he's stuck using his personal cell phone's camera.

Request for secondary job (optional): Hey, if no one else is willing, DeMarcus could always try his hand at anything else. Payroll. Maintenance. Guest editing. Info-tech. Just because he has no experience or skill in any of these areas won't stop him from trying.

Preferred Type of Coverage (optional): Sports. However, because Anywhere City's magazine has other subjects, he is (grudgingly) also assigned to cover these things too. Foods, Recipes, Politics, Local Interest, he will be assigned and asked to do side articles regularly just to spread the workload around. (It's just that when he does have to branch out to these other areas of journalistic interest, he will also somehow include some NFL stat in there too).

Likes and Dislikes (optional): I'm going to wait until the RP develops to flesh this out.

Running Gags (optional): He always tries to take pictures of athletes in big game moments, but his pics are either awful shots (the bottom half of a basketball player in a jump shot, for example) or are attempts with him trying to get in the picture as a fanboy with the stars.

Other notes you feel are important for your employer to know (optional):DeMarcus does have a car. A 2005 SUV.

[Silverblade]

------

[Main Nation Ministry]

Name: Leo Dice

Age: (Child Labor is allowed at Daily Carrot. I just let that sink in.) 24

Sex: Male

Appearance: (Image)
except more younger looking and a scruffy beard.

Skills you believe will make you qualified for the workplace: Can make what he believes is good lies, Politically biased, and good leadership skills...
Previous Employment, N/A if none: McDonald's, Political Staff.

---

Explain More About Yourself: Leo was born in somewhere street of anywhere city. He Grew up in an average life to average parents. At the age of 12, he became an assistant at "The Daily Carrot" working regularly when off from school. He went through high school smoothly. At the time, he tried working at McDonald's on the side but that quickly ended. Eventually, he became a full reporter and started writing articles about local, state, and national politics. Sometimes he did a variety of articles. Eventually, Leo went to University, Dual majoring in Political Science and Journalism. Soon he thought that these degrees were pretty much pointless and started questioning his life choices.

When Leo graduated he had more time to work on "The Daily Carrot" and he became an editor and not long after that Managing Editor. Leo feels like a Middle-aged worker despite being only 24. It has stressed him and made him a workaholic. Although in recent years he has begun cutting back from that which has had interesting results.

Requests for your workspace (optional): Modern Windows 10 Computer, good wifi, private coffee machine, Different colored pens to scrutinize new people's Articles, Managing editor stuff.
Request for secondary job (optional): (if your character feels bored at their standard job as a journalist, they can apply for a secondary job at the same building. Helps to increase the paycheck) None for now. (may try to get elected mayor of Everywhere city in some time.)
Preferred Type of Coverage (optional): (Ex: Sports, Politics, Cooking, Arts, Etc.) Politics but sometimes does other things.
Likes and Dislikes (optional):
Running Gags (optional):
Other notes you feel are important for your employer to know (optional)Managing editor of "The Daily Carrot"

While there is still some grammar issues (not misspelling, but random capitalization at certain words), I will still give you the chance to be accepted. However, I will give some helpful advice. Don't rush your posts. Always make sure that you're pleased with the quality of each post, such as doing a quick check of it.

Overall, Leo Dice is ACCEPTED

Name: DeMarcus Clark
Age: 28
Sex: Male
Appearance: (Image)
Skills you believe will make you qualified for the workplace: An insane amount of NFL trivia knowledge. Some knowledge of basketball, baseball, soccer. Some photography skills. Some writing ability.
Previous Employment: former free safety for the Anytown Renegades, a semi-pro football league that never amounted to anything in the wide world of sports. Before that, DeMarcus had worked as a lawn care specialist.

---

Explain More About Yourself: DeMarcus Clark had NFL dreams ever since he could remember. Growing up and watching the greats play, like Peyton Manning and an old Brett Favre, DeMarcus was sure in high school that he would be one of the few, proud, athletes the nation would see on Sunday afternoon tv.

Unfortunately, college recruiting coaches didn't share quite that same vision. Not recruited for any university known for it's football program, or any division-I university in general, DeMarcus went to Anytown University, with a football scholarship. He was able to play safety - even saw some decent playing time in varsity games his senior year. Anytown University, however, was also not known for it's football program. (The University concentrates on business and education majors).

Still, DeMarcus persisted. He pushed himself, training, making highlight videos of him, testing, all so that he might get a chance to get invited to the NFL combine. Didn't happen. Anytown University did have a pro day, though, when scouts from various NFL franchises came to scope out the (meager) talent the school had. There were four team scouts there that day! DeMarcus never got a phone call from any of them.

He went and tried out for the local semi-pro team, the Anytown Renegades and was accepted. He played two and a half seasons, before the league ran out of money and folded. Since then, DeMarcus knew he needed a job, and wanted to spend his career in sports journalism so he could spout off NFL facts that his mind never seemed to forget. The Daily Carrot was the only place in town or on the web hiring.

Personally, DeMarcus' parents are still living. He stops in and sees them every so often. A few younger brothers, none of whom made it to the bright lights of the gridiron either. Definitely no wife, because you first need to be dating someone to get to that stage, and DeMarcus still hasn't gotten there yet. So he's single. Lives with a few roommates.

Requests for your workspace (optional): Laptop with internet access and enough storage to save several jpegs and other pics of the games he covers. Charger cord. Gas money. External hard drive. A nicer camera would also be nice, otherwise he's stuck using his personal cell phone's camera.

Request for secondary job (optional): Hey, if no one else is willing, DeMarcus could always try his hand at anything else. Payroll. Maintenance. Guest editing. Info-tech. Just because he has no experience or skill in any of these areas won't stop him from trying.

Preferred Type of Coverage (optional): Sports. However, because Anytown's magazine has other subjects, he is (grudgingly) also assigned to cover these things too. Foods, Recipes, Politics, Local Interest, he will be assigned and asked to do side articles regularly just to spread the workload around. (It's just that when he does have to branch out to these other areas of journalistic interest, he will also somehow include some NFL stat in there too).

Likes and Dislikes (optional): I'm going to wait until the RP develops to flesh this out.

Running Gags (optional): He always tries to take pictures of athletes in big game moments, but his pics are either awful shots (the bottom half of a basketball player in a jump shot, for example) or are attempts with him trying to get in the picture as a fanboy with the stars.

Other notes you feel are important for your employer to know (optional):DeMarcus does have a car. A 2005 SUV.

While the app is amazing, I'm seeing a lot of Anytown? Did you meant Anywhere City, instead of Anytown?

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

Name: Maximillian August Wolfgang Schubert Müller, Count of Schwarzberg-Hinterhausen
Age: 67
Sex: Male
Appearance:

Skills you believe will make you qualified for the workplace: “Bah! I will let you know, young man, I come from a long line of German aristocracy. Knowledge of art is in my blood, and through my veins courses the wit and vocabulary of Nietsche and Goethe! You can count yourself lucky that I came across your advertisement, and that I am willing to work for you! Bah, I say again! Bah!”
Previous Employment: Various art installations and publications throughout the country, though employment never ends with mutual satisfaction

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Explain More About Yourself: Maximillian August Wolfgang Schubert Müller legally descends from a long line of German aristocracy, tracing its lineage back to the days of Charlemagne. Legally is an extremely important quantifier here, because it is only legally that Max can claim any aristocratic heritage. His father worked as an administrative clerk for a notary’s office in 1940s Germany. When the Third Reich came crashing in all around, and the notary himself had already fled west, Max’ father managed to alter the final will and testament of a noble customer of theirs, who was an officer in the Wehrmacht, inserting himself as one of the beneficiaries. Of course, in the chaos of the war’s end, nobody bothered with these things until it was too late. Indeed, Max’ father inherited the noble title once the nobleman turned up deceased.

Of course, the nobleman’s true family was none too please that some lowly clerk had pilfered even the slightest advantage from them. During the division of the inheritance, they saddled him with no money, but gave him all the things and shits that nobody wanted. Old furniture, cabinets, miscellaneous items, standing clocks, a coat of armour… Anything they did not want they gave to the Müller family. Of course, besides the title, they did not receive any money or estates, so they were forced to store everything in their garage, being too proud to do away with it.

After being set upon gangsters, assassins and other dangerous folks, life became very bleak for the Müller family. When the communists came to power, the Müller family decided to turn tail and run, although they could have just given up their title without problem. In fact, the somewhat poor Müller family had a lot to gain from the socialist takeover of Germany, but they would not have it. They escaped to the least communist country on earth, the good old US of A. There, they had a child, whom they named Maximillian. This is the beginning of his story.

Now, Maximillian was in many ways better than his peers. Or so he thought, at least. Growing up in a poor neighbourhood in New York City, Maximillian always looked down on his non-aristocratic, pauper friends. His parents, so they told him, had elected to live in a poor neighbourhood to teach him a sense of humility in life, so he could strike out on his own. Knowing this, Max tried to show his compatriots that he was superior in most ways. Although he almost never succeeded, he could find evidence of his own aristocratic superiority in almost everything he did. He read a lot of books, mostly history books on his own adopted noble heritage.

This started a trend that would follow Maximillian his whole life: if he had put a tenth of the time he spent being smug into actually reading about the things he claimed to be knowledgeable, he would have been a true expert in many fields if artistry. However, he based his knowledge mainly on his blue blood, and not on any true knowledge. In fact, he did not bother to go to college, since that was in his eyes an institution for those who did not have his own natural intelligence. Instead, he went off into the wide world to regale the world with his own knowledge of all things art.

It took Maximillian a long time to find his first proper, steady job. Many museums did not take him seriously, on account that his CV was mostly blank and filled with references to his ancestors who had been patrons of art. After a year and a half of traveling around and doing all kinds of demeaning peasant work, like waiting tables, Maximillian finally found someone willing to take him on. It was an Italian art auction establishment, which was only too happy to take him on. They provided him not only with a large salary, but also with official credentials. Maximillian was not aware that these private institutions were not allowed to give off these credentials, so he saw nothing wrong with it. For ten years, he worked proudly at the company, which was more like a family than anything else. Every time he valued a piece of art, it would sell exactly at that number, which made Maximillian feel very clever.

One day, however, this all ended. The auction house was busted by police for reasons Maximillian did not quite understand. The words ‘Mafia’ and ‘Money laundering’ were used, but since Maximillian did not know exactly what those things did, he just smiled and claimed innocence. Once again on the street, but now with credentials, the next job was a breeze to find. This time, it was as a curator at a museum in Chicago. It was here that he learnt the language of the art world. At least, he learnt how to say the words, not exactly what they meant. Since the art world is generally very vague, however, he got away with it. He even published a few books on the subject, which were so incoherent and vague that they were seen as visionary and genius by a small portion of the art world. However, various requests of Maximillian to the board for the acquisition of certain pieces were denied because of extraordinary costs, which led him to resign from his post. This was also something that would follow him all his professional life: he would get hired, get angry at some board or manager, and then quit.
Until now, that is. After his latest fight with the board of directors at an art gallery, he wound up applying for a job at the Daily Carrot. His motives are less than selfless, however. He sees the small newspaper as a good way to become his own, after his famous name makes the art column the crowning jewel of the newspaper. Then, he will use it to bring down all those who wronged him in the past by writing nasty things about them. However, that is something for the future.
Requests for your workspace: “Since we stand at the beginning of this here venture, I will be modest in my requests. Having an office with natural daylight and a large wooden desk shall be satisfactory, if I be allowed to bring in some of my own furniture to decorate it! And I shan’t share my office with anyone, sir! My mind requires total isolation! Bah!”
Request for secondary job: Writing a column about anything
Preferred Type of Coverage: Arts
Likes: Culture, art, people who think he sounds clever, people who wrote his book
Dislikes: Actual experts, historians, socialists
Running Gags: Likes to use big words, but always gets them wrong in nuance.
Other notes you feel are important for your employer to know: “I require business cards with my full name and title!”

[Talchyon]

Name: DeMarcus Clark
-snip-

While the app is amazing, I'm seeing a lot of Anytown? Did you meant Anywhere City, instead of Anytown?

Fixed it. Don't know why I thought this was Anytown instead of Anywhere City.

[Pax Nerdvana]

Tag. I'll try to get an app up today or tomorrow.