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Eastern Ukraine Might Join Russia Over COVID-19 Treatment

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Shofercia
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Eastern Ukraine Might Join Russia Over COVID-19 Treatment

Postby Shofercia » Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:51 pm

COVID-19 might soon have another victim - the state of Ukraine. Boldly ranking number one on the Corruption Index, Ukraine's Government failed at a lockdown, and further failed to treat COVID-19, forcing Ukrainians to turn to Russia. President Putin was happy to provide aid, on condition that they hold a Referendum to join Russia. How did Ukrainians get infected you may ask?

https://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2020/03 ... order.html

Thousands of Ukrainians queued in long lines on Friday at the last three border crossings with Poland that remain open to get to their homeland before Ukraine closes its borders due to the coronavirus pandemic. Footage from private broadcaster TVN 24 showed crowds of people, many wearing face masks, waiting outside the railway station in the city of Przemysl to cross the border. "All this doesn't meet the Sanepid (Sanitary Epidemiological Service) or Health Ministry recommendations. The expanded restrictions ban gatherings of more than two people, allow only essential travel, and look what you see behind," the mayor of Przemysl, Wojciech Bakun, said.


Long story short, Ukraine's Government most brilliant, forced thousands of Ukrainians to stand at border crossing, touching each other and not really following the distancing guidelines, before admitting them to Ukraine and letting them carry COVID-19 to their apartment buildings. Here's how not to practice social distancing:

Image


While the country struggled to help, and heavily favored the West over the East, the Russian aid came. Much like Russia's aid to Italy, the initial aid came without preconditions. Soon the local propaganda started: "join Russia, we have medicine!" Local cries for a Referendum began in earnest, and while the Western World watched as the stock market collapsed and rebounded, a strong movement to join Russia began in Eastern Ukraine. Here's a map for those of you wondering where Eastern Ukraine is:

Image


President Putin made the announcement that Russia will consider Eastern Ukraine's application to join the Russian Federation

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Ceyerexia
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Postby Ceyerexia » Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:56 pm

Let Novorossiya do what it wants to. When its the Kurds making blatantly illegal attempts at secession, NSG can't contain their excitement, but when its Russians, everyone here starts screeching.

Ukrainians are Russian peoples anyway.
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Bombadil
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Postby Bombadil » Tue Mar 31, 2020 11:29 pm

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Old Zealand Founder
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Postby Old Zealand Founder » Tue Mar 31, 2020 11:38 pm

I checked news stuff, aside from the border crossing part, this is just an April Fools.
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Bombadil
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Postby Bombadil » Tue Mar 31, 2020 11:42 pm

Old Zealand Founder wrote:I checked news stuff, aside from the border crossing part, this is just an April Fools.


Booooo... ya big spoilsport.. *throws tomatoes*
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Shofercia
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Postby Shofercia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:04 am

Ceyerexia wrote:Let Novorossiya do what it wants to. When its the Kurds making blatantly illegal attempts at secession, NSG can't contain their excitement, but when its Russians, everyone here starts screeching.

Ukrainians are Russian peoples anyway.


This brings up a good point - what makes it ok to secede? Why do East Timor and South Sudan get to do it, but others don't?
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Washington Resistance Army
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Postby Washington Resistance Army » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:05 am

Shofercia wrote:
Ceyerexia wrote:Let Novorossiya do what it wants to. When its the Kurds making blatantly illegal attempts at secession, NSG can't contain their excitement, but when its Russians, everyone here starts screeching.

Ukrainians are Russian peoples anyway.


This brings up a good point - what makes it ok to secede? Why do East Timor and South Sudan get to do it, but others don't?


Actual strong majority support for secession and not, ya know, the Russian Army invading is a good start.
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Purpelia
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Postby Purpelia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:12 am

Shofercia wrote:
Ceyerexia wrote:Let Novorossiya do what it wants to. When its the Kurds making blatantly illegal attempts at secession, NSG can't contain their excitement, but when its Russians, everyone here starts screeching.

Ukrainians are Russian peoples anyway.


This brings up a good point - what makes it ok to secede? Why do East Timor and South Sudan get to do it, but others don't?

If you support the country that is being split apart more than the one getting new territory than it's pure evil and illegal. Otherwise it's a universal human right.

It really is that simple. Politics are a cynical game of power and nothing more. Everything else is just garbage they spew at you through media propaganda so you go along with it.
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The above post contains hyperbole, metaphoric language, embellishment and exaggeration. It may also include badly translated figures of speech and misused idioms. Analyze accordingly.

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Thermodolia
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Postby Thermodolia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:19 am

If the people of eastern Ukraine wish to join a less corrupt nation, then more power to them.

As it stands Italy is probably also going to move into Russian orbit
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Thermodolia
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Postby Thermodolia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:20 am

Washington Resistance Army wrote:
Shofercia wrote:
This brings up a good point - what makes it ok to secede? Why do East Timor and South Sudan get to do it, but others don't?


Actual strong majority support for secession and not, ya know, the Russian Army invading is a good start.

If rumors are true majority support has been reached in parts of eastern Ukraine
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Toxic Masculinia
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Postby Toxic Masculinia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:43 am

COVID-19 is doing more than what most politicians do; closing borders, reducing pollution, it even solves the deadlock of cold conflicts!
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United Muscovite Nations
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Postby United Muscovite Nations » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:59 am

See, this is a good April Fools' Thread. A good OP, in-character, semi-believable, and actual potential for serious discussion. Solid.
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Vetalia
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Postby Vetalia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 11:33 am

Thermodolia wrote:If the people of eastern Ukraine wish to join a less corrupt nation, then more power to them.

As it stands Italy is probably also going to move into Russian orbit


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_5ur61wCw0

Soon...
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Tadreodal
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Postby Tadreodal » Wed Apr 01, 2020 11:38 am

Actually got me to laugh. Nice
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Cekoviu
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Postby Cekoviu » Wed Apr 01, 2020 11:47 am

Правду продолжай говорить, товарищ!
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NgtuZulu
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Postby NgtuZulu » Wed Apr 01, 2020 11:52 am

Ethically the correct move. Khrutchev should never have transferred it from Russia to Ukraine.

But in the end, only Donetsk may actually join.

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Old Zealand Founder
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Postby Old Zealand Founder » Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:59 pm

Bombadil wrote:
Old Zealand Founder wrote:I checked news stuff, aside from the border crossing part, this is just an April Fools.


Booooo... ya big spoilsport.. *throws tomatoes*

*eats tomatoes*

But seriously, I almost thought this was real, because there was quite a strong pro-Russian movement in Ukraine during Euromaidan. Nowadays it's mostly gone, except for maybe Donetsk and Luhansk.
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Last edited by The Rich Port on Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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The Liberated Territories
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Postby The Liberated Territories » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:43 pm

Clever. Putin realizes that he cannot expand Russia traditionally using warfare, so he uses other methods to expand the Russian state.
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Salus Maior
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Postby Salus Maior » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:45 pm

Shofercia wrote:
Ceyerexia wrote:Let Novorossiya do what it wants to. When its the Kurds making blatantly illegal attempts at secession, NSG can't contain their excitement, but when its Russians, everyone here starts screeching.

Ukrainians are Russian peoples anyway.


This brings up a good point - what makes it ok to secede? Why do East Timor and South Sudan get to do it, but others don't?


Whether it's really in the interest of the home country to let them secede, and whether the home country has the leverage to keep them in.
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Thermodolia
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Thermodolia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:47 pm

The Liberated Territories wrote:Clever. Putin realizes that he cannot expand Russia traditionally using warfare, so he uses other methods to expand the Russian state.

It’s also a very clever joke
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The Liberated Territories
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Postby The Liberated Territories » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:50 pm

Thermodolia wrote:
The Liberated Territories wrote:Clever. Putin realizes that he cannot expand Russia traditionally using warfare, so he uses other methods to expand the Russian state.

It’s also a very clever joke


Is it a joke? Nothing in the NY Times seems like its joking. Though it wouldn't be the first time that I failed to read through the lines after quickly examining something.
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Postby Reploid Productions » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:22 pm

There are things to joke about. COVID-19 is not one of them.
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