[DRAFT] National scales

[Techolandia]

(This issue was inspired by the fact that the Dorian scale is also called the Russian minor scale.)

Recent cultural studies have revealed that what is widely known as the Moltevinan scale, a musical scale that is among the most commonly-used scales worldwide, was actually used in East Lebatuck centuries before it was first developed elsewhere. The country has therefore appealed to several nations, including yours, the name be changed to better suit the scale's history.

1. "@@LEADER@@, on behalf of all of my nation's people, we ask you to recognize our country's cultural history," requests East Lebatuckese Cultural Ambassador @@RANDOMNAME@@ while handing you transcriptions of several East Lebatuckese traditional songs composed in the scale in question. "I am sure that we are both aware of how a country's cultural reputation can influence how it is viewed. Please allow my nation to receive the positive attitudes that it deserves for creating this scale by officially recognizing it as the Lebatuckese scale. Maybe then we'll be more friendly to your nation."
   Effect: East Lebatuck informs its citizens that the piano was invented in @@NAME@@.
   
2. "How can a frozen wasteland claim to have developed culture‽" exclaims Moltevinan Cultural Ambassador @@RANDOMNAME1@@, spitting out @@HIS1@@ wine. "Proper civilization, including fine culture, was founded on the shores of the Wostan Sea. There is a reason why the common musical scales are named Moltevinan, Merovingian, and Savoilan, not Lebatuckese, Dàguó, and Núi V— however it's pronounced. If this country wants a scale named after it, give it a really dissonant scale that represents its lack of cultural proficiency."
   Effect: Supposedly East Lebatuckese music is popular among children wishing to annoy their parents.
   
3. "I huve done it!" exclaims a wild-haired music professor dashing into your room with a stack of papers held high in one hand. "I huve devised a mefhod of zystematically notating all muzical scales. It vill eliminate ze nezesity of zese petty squabbles between countries. It may make zome names a wee bit longer, but zere vill finally be no more arguments like zis."
   Effect: Musical scales take longer to name than to play.

[Makdon]

This is a pretty unique and well written first draft. Good Job!

East Lebatuck has pointed out that what is widely known as the Moltevinan scale, a musical scale that is among the most commonly-used scales worldwide, was actually used in East Lebatuck centuries before it was first developed elsewhere. It has therefore appealed to the global community that the name be changed to better suit the scale's history, starting with your nation.

This premise, to me, just lacks verisimilitude. It doesn't quite feel like something that the leader needs to care about. Maybe make it clear that East Lebatuck's leader is pressuring you economically or militarily, or that serious protests are going on, though the latter seems less likely. Also, the phrasing could be a bit better, but that should be worked on once you've revised it a bit more.

Breaking down the options, we get something like this:

1. random govt. official wants random and seemingly unimportant thing changed
2. Racist guy wants... who knows what honestly, it's totally unclear.
3. Crazy musician with crazy idea

1 and 2 need major work. 1 just doesn't matter, and that would hopefully be fixed with a change to the whole premise. Additionally, the writing here lacks humor, and feels pretty unnatural. As for 2, it's not an issues option at all! Something has to be proposed, and this has got nothing. That being said, the tone is much better here, and this option simply needs a real point, the rest, though less important, is already there. Option 3, in my opinion, is the highlight of the issue. It's funny and well-written, and has a real point. It's a bit out there, but if the other issues are strengthened, I think it make a fine addition to an otherwise robust issue

All in all, this issue is a good start, but the premise isn't quite there, and some of the issues need major rewrites.

[Australian rePublic]

Option 3- wait, what exactly did he do with the musical scales

[Techolandia]

This is a pretty unique and well written first draft. Good Job!

East Lebatuck has pointed out that what is widely known as the Moltevinan scale, a musical scale that is among the most commonly-used scales worldwide, was actually used in East Lebatuck centuries before it was first developed elsewhere. It has therefore appealed to the global community that the name be changed to better suit the scale's history, starting with your nation.

This premise, to me, just lacks verisimilitude. It doesn't quite feel like something that the leader needs to care about. Maybe make it clear that East Lebatuck's leader is pressuring you economically or militarily, or that serious protests are going on, though the latter seems less likely. Also, the phrasing could be a bit better, but that should be worked on once you've revised it a bit more.

Breaking down the options, we get something like this:

1. random govt. official wants random and seemingly unimportant thing changed
2. Racist guy wants... who knows what honestly, it's totally unclear.
3. Crazy musician with crazy idea

1 and 2 need major work. 1 just doesn't matter, and that would hopefully be fixed with a change to the whole premise. Additionally, the writing here lacks humor, and feels pretty unnatural. As for 2, it's not an issues option at all! Something has to be proposed, and this has got nothing. That being said, the tone is much better here, and this option simply needs a real point, the rest, though less important, is already there. Option 3, in my opinion, is the highlight of the issue. It's funny and well-written, and has a real point. It's a bit out there, but if the other issues are strengthened, I think it make a fine addition to an otherwise robust issue

All in all, this issue is a good start, but the premise isn't quite there, and some of the issues need major rewrites.

Thank you for your feedback. I have made changes designed to address these concerns. Do they work?

Option 3- wait, what exactly did he do with the musical scales

I was trying to go for an idea similar to a mad scientist for humorous effect. The idea is that scale names are replaced with complicated notation.

[Authoritaria-Imperia]

I'm with Makdon in this one. A semantics issue is just that, semantics. I don't think what's going on really matters. As a player, I'd be pretty apathetic about which option to choose, because what you're talking about is a fairly obscure term most people won't use much that a bunch of other countries disagree on the name of. If this were something like a major SI unit name being changed for practical reasons, that would be one thing (although issues may exist on that already). Obscure term changes for another country's culture? I'm not convinced. Sorry. :/

[Techolandia]

I'm with Makdon in this one. A semantics issue is just that, semantics. I don't think what's going on really matters. As a player, I'd be pretty apathetic about which option to choose, because what you're talking about is a fairly obscure term most people won't use much that a bunch of other countries disagree on the name of. If this were something like a major SI unit name being changed for practical reasons, that would be one thing (although issues may exist on that already). Obscure term changes for another country's culture? I'm not convinced. Sorry. :/

Should I try to fix it or move on to my next idea instead?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I think move on, but up to you.