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Scantily Clad Women? Not in my NFL

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Alvecia
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Scantily Clad Women? Not in my NFL

Postby Alvecia » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:31 am

In the war for the soul of America, the evil secularists are slowly winning ground against the brave holy warriors of god. More recently they gained a major victory in the form of the 2020 Superbowl halftime show.

Enter Coach "Not a Coach" Dave Daubenmire a radio host and Christian activist.

Now for a football enthusiast such as our man Dave, the Superbowl is one of the biggest events of the year.
So imagine his shock when during the halftime show this good christian man found himself watching a decidedly unchristian display of pornographic, wanton female sexuality in the form of Jennifer Lopez and Shakira slutting it up on stage* in front of tens of millions of impressionable Americans.

*not my actual opinion, obviously

Turns out this shameful display must have given Dave some naughty, naughty thoughts. So he claims to plan on suing the NFL for damages done to his chances of Heavenly acceptance.

To the tune of $867 trillion dollars.

https://www.news.com.au/sport/sports-li ... 6d385a2819
https://nypost.com/2020/02/07/minister- ... time-show/

Now for those unaware (such as myself before reading this), the total Global GDP for 2019 is projected by the IMF to be around $86.60 trillion.
But what is material worth next to the worth of a saved soul, am I right?

So I ask you.
Did you find the halftime show to be overtly sinful?
What price would you put on your soul?
Why does America seem to have more prudes per capita than other Western nations?

Personally I'd sell my soul for some nice chocolate cake. I'm not really using it anyway.
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Ifreann
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Postby Ifreann » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:36 am

Eight hundred and sixty seven

TRILLION

dollars.

That is a level of shenanigan for which my body was not prepared.
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The Huskar Social Union
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Postby The Huskar Social Union » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:36 am

Fucker needs to get over himself.
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Dogmeat
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Postby Dogmeat » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:38 am

He doth protest too much, methinks.
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Side 3
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Postby Side 3 » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:44 am

Y'all are gonna feel so stupid when this guy gets his 867 trillion. I for one have already contacted his lawyer in order to get in on this!
Sieg Zeon!

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January 22nd, 0097: Stocks in the Zimmad Corporation have gone down by 5% today, following the military's decision to halt its purchase of the company's latest mobile armor. The unnamed mobile armor has been rumored to have been in development for the past 6 years, and would've been worth roughly $150 million.

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Ifreann
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Ifreann » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:46 am

Side 3 wrote:Y'all are gonna feel so stupid when this guy gets his 867 trillion. I for one have already contacted his lawyer in order to get in on this!

Joke's on you, I've already filed a lawsuit for the damage reading about his lawsuit has done to my soul.
Mistake Not My Current State Of Joshing Gentle Banter For The Awesome And Terrible Majesty Of The Towering Seas Of Snark That Are Themselves The Mere Milquetoast Shallows Fringing My Vast Oceans Of Sarcasm
He/Him

Dangerous this Jack o' Hearts.
With his kiss
the riot
starts

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Tarchuna and Ravenna
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Postby Tarchuna and Ravenna » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:47 am

I admire his moneymaking genius.
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Ethel mermania
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Postby Ethel mermania » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:48 am

I thought jesus forgiven those who legitimately repented their sins?

So even days later he can not repent his lustful desires for some serious Latina spice? I think that is more Dave's issue, it is up to him to reject the demons
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Agarntrop
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Agarntrop » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:49 am

Side 3 wrote:Y'all are gonna feel so stupid when this guy gets his 867 trillion. I for one have already contacted his lawyer in order to get in on this!

Jokes on you, I've filed a lawsuit for $876 quadrillion dollars for the damage to my oxygen supply he does by a) living and b) filing lawsuits.
Last edited by Agarntrop on Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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social constructs are a social construct. facts.

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Chill beats LLC
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Postby Chill beats LLC » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:51 am

he wont be going to hell for lust - just greed
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Alvecia
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Alvecia » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:53 am

Similarly, it appears that the Christian advocacy group 1 Million Moms (Twitter count 4,751 Followers) are very upset about this shocking display, and have asked that people sign their petition.

Take action! And...err...what are we doing?

Oh yeah we're gonna:
let them [the NFL and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell] know how disgusted you are with Super Bowl LIV’s halftime show.


Powerful stuff
Last edited by Alvecia on Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
British
Atheist
IT Support
That there is no exception to the rule "There is an exception to every rule" is the exception that proves the rule.
---
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll stop asking you to catch his fish.
That's not happening
That shouldn't be happening
Why is that happening?
That's why it's happening?
How has this ever worked?

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Agarntrop
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Founded: May 14, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Agarntrop » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:56 am

Alvecia wrote:Similarly, it appears that the Christian advocacy group 1 Million Moms (Twitter count 4,751 Followers) are very upset about this shocking display, and have asked that people sign their petition.

Take action! And...err...what are we doing?

Oh yeah we're gonna:
let them [the NFL and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell] know how disgusted you are with Super Bowl LIV’s halftime show.


Powerful stuff

that website needs to be renamed karens.com
Pro and Anti, Etc.
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Sanabel wrote:Dent we could do each other

Austria-Bohemia-Hungary wrote:When I grow up I shall release rats in a Swiss bank vault genetically engineered to excrete aqua regia. And then I shall laugh. <.>

Rojava Free State wrote:I think the time has come to form the pissed off and angry party
social constructs are a social construct. facts.

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Side 3
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Founded: Jul 07, 2018
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Side 3 » Fri Feb 07, 2020 9:58 am

Ifreann wrote:
Side 3 wrote:Y'all are gonna feel so stupid when this guy gets his 867 trillion. I for one have already contacted his lawyer in order to get in on this!

Joke's on you, I've already filed a lawsuit for the damage reading about his lawsuit has done to my soul.

Agarntrop wrote:Jokes on you, I've filed a lawsuit for $876 quadrillion dollars for the damage to my oxygen supply he does by a) living and b) filing lawsuits.


Psssh, nothin' personnel kid, but I've already filed my counter suit for infinity plus 1 dollars against all of you!
Sieg Zeon!

REDCON-1

ZeoNet Channel 2:

January 22nd, 0097: Stocks in the Zimmad Corporation have gone down by 5% today, following the military's decision to halt its purchase of the company's latest mobile armor. The unnamed mobile armor has been rumored to have been in development for the past 6 years, and would've been worth roughly $150 million.

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Luna Amore
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Benevolent Dictatorship

Postby Luna Amore » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:04 am

Ethel mermania wrote:I thought jesus forgiven those who legitimately repented their sins?

So even days later he can not repent his lustful desires for some serious Latina spice? I think that is more Dave's issue, it is up to him to reject the demons

What sort of loving god would want me to reject Shakira?
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Sycar
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Sycar » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:04 am

I'm a Christian and I don't even think that the half time show was bad. That guy needs to grow a pair and get some thicker skin.
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Agarntrop
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Agarntrop » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:07 am

Side 3 wrote:
Ifreann wrote:Joke's on you, I've already filed a lawsuit for the damage reading about his lawsuit has done to my soul.

Agarntrop wrote:Jokes on you, I've filed a lawsuit for $876 quadrillion dollars for the damage to my oxygen supply he does by a) living and b) filing lawsuits.


Psssh, nothin' personnel kid, but I've already filed my counter suit for infinity plus 1 dollars against all of you!

You want to go down that route then boy? ive increased my demands to infinity cubed.
Pro and Anti, Etc.
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Sanabel wrote:Dent we could do each other

Austria-Bohemia-Hungary wrote:When I grow up I shall release rats in a Swiss bank vault genetically engineered to excrete aqua regia. And then I shall laugh. <.>

Rojava Free State wrote:I think the time has come to form the pissed off and angry party
social constructs are a social construct. facts.

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Genivaria
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Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Genivaria » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:13 am

It's a sad reflection of the lack of maturity of many Americans that this is even a 'controversy'.
Women go out onto the football field every day and dance in far more revealing outfits, they're called cheerleaders.
General Sherman did nothing wrong, fact.
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Furthermore I submit that the People's Republic of China should be destroyed.
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Nuroblav
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Founded: Nov 13, 2019
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Nuroblav » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:13 am

Doesn't Shakira have a pretty high IQ?

Also, $867 trillion? A shame if someone stole it ;)
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Washington Resistance Army
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Father Knows Best State

Postby Washington Resistance Army » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:14 am

Hot take but half time shows haven't been good in years and you should always just go do something else until the game is back on. Controversy solved.

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Genivaria
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Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Genivaria » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:15 am

I think we can agree that this a distraction from the REAL NFL issue, the absurd salaries that players make.
General Sherman did nothing wrong, fact.
Liberal Social Democrat.

Furthermore I submit that the People's Republic of China should be destroyed.
"Democracy is freedom. Communism is tyranny."
"Death is a preferable alternative to Communism!"
Tactical assessment: Red Chinese victory... impossible."
"America will never fall to Communist invasion!"

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Cetacea
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Compulsory Consumerist State

Postby Cetacea » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:15 am

So in the interest of fairness and all american justice has anyone got actual images of these offending Crotch shots so we can review them? (Don’t make me have to google them)

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Saiwania
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Saiwania » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:20 am

No one has the amount asked for and no court is going to award it. This will just cause it to be thrown out as frivolous, assuming it did have merit. Guess it doesn't pay off to be too greedy.
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Alvecia
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Alvecia » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:23 am

Washington Resistance Army wrote:Hot take but half time shows haven't been good in years and you should always just go do something else until the game is back on. Controversy solved.

Or you can go full big brain and just not watch the Superbowl
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Atheist
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That there is no exception to the rule "There is an exception to every rule" is the exception that proves the rule.
---
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll stop asking you to catch his fish.
That's not happening
That shouldn't be happening
Why is that happening?
That's why it's happening?
How has this ever worked?

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Ethel mermania
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Father Knows Best State

Postby Ethel mermania » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:27 am

Luna Amore wrote:
Ethel mermania wrote:I thought jesus forgiven those who legitimately repented their sins?

So even days later he can not repent his lustful desires for some serious Latina spice? I think that is more Dave's issue, it is up to him to reject the demons

What sort of loving god would want me to reject Shakira?

J-lo, sayth the lord, truly hasth abs of steel.
Last edited by Ethel mermania on Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Unstoppable Empire of Doom
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Unstoppable Empire of Doom » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:36 am

Going to hell for greed much?
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