https://news.sky.com/story/historic-cardiff-pub-to-be-rebuilt-at-museum-as-it-was-in-1915-11914232
...and I was amazed that the pub, something I grew up with, is now nothing more than a museum piece.
Also, most of the alcohol related issues already in NS tend to have the pro-alcohol speaker as a drunk who's pissed off his face at 10 o'clock in the morning, so I wanted to do something different to that.
[TITLE] Last Orders Please
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, the last remaining pub in @@CAPITAL@@ city centre has poured its last pint and shut down. The building was demolished and then rebuilt, brick-by-brick, inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. You have been invited to the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly, not metric
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and unwind after a hard day's work. Now it has been reduced to nothing more than a museum piece. @@LEADER@@, please help bring back the pub to our neighbourhoods. Maybe you could slash the taxes on alcohol, so ordinary folk can afford to drink out again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar-nightclub-cafe-resto in @@CAPITAL@@, as the frame of @@HIS@@ glasses flashes lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Young people want music, dance and food with their cocktails. I suggest you ease the regulations on alcohol permits, so more clubs like mine can open up. If those traditionalists want a... what is it they drink... beer? They can buy a tin from the supermarket."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own beer or mix their own cocktails at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, the last remaining pub in @@CAPITAL@@ city centre has poured its last pint and shut down. The building was demolished and then rebuilt, brick-by-brick, inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. You have been invited to the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly, not metric
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and unwind after a hard day's work. Now it has been reduced to nothing more than a museum piece. @@LEADER@@, please help bring back the pub to our neighbourhoods. Maybe you could slash the taxes on alcohol, so ordinary folk can afford to drink out again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar-nightclub-cafe-resto in @@CAPITAL@@, as the frame of @@HIS@@ glasses flashes lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Young people want music, dance and food with their cocktails. I suggest you ease the regulations on alcohol permits, so more clubs like mine can open up. If those traditionalists want a... what is it they drink... beer? They can buy a tin from the supermarket."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own beer or mix their own cocktails at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[TITLE] Last Orders Please
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last pint and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly, not metric
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and unwind after a hard day's work. Because of trendy new bars and high taxes on alcohol, it has been reduced to nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve the remaining pubs in @@NAME@@ by slashing the taxes on alcohol, so ordinary folk can afford to drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar-nightclub-cafe-resto in @@CAPITAL@@, as the frame of @@HIS@@ glasses flashes lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Young people want music, dance and food with their drinks. I suggest you ease the regulations on renovating historic buildings, so that more pubs can be upgraded to clubs like mine."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last pint and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly, not metric
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and unwind after a hard day's work. Because of trendy new bars and high taxes on alcohol, it has been reduced to nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve the remaining pubs in @@NAME@@ by slashing the taxes on alcohol, so ordinary folk can afford to drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar-nightclub-cafe-resto in @@CAPITAL@@, as the frame of @@HIS@@ glasses flashes lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Young people want music, dance and food with their drinks. I suggest you ease the regulations on renovating historic buildings, so that more pubs can be upgraded to clubs like mine."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[TITLE] Last Orders Please
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last drink and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and unwind after a hard day's work. Because of the cost of alcohol and young people's preference for trendy new bars, it has been reduced to nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve the remaining pubs in @@NAME@@ by giving government subsidies to them, so ordinary folk can enjoy a drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar-nightclub-cafe-resto in @@CAPITAL@@, as the frame of @@HIS@@ glasses flashes lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Young people want music, dance and food with their drinks. I suggest you ease the regulations on renovating historic buildings, so that more pubs can be upgraded to clubs like mine."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "Pubs just need to diversify in order to remain competitive," posits @@RANDOMNAME@@, a business analyst, who is here to oversee the museum's exhibits. "The government could offer free business training to the landlords of failing pubs -- help them to modify their establishments to the needs of their local communities. A lot of elderly people nearby? Host bingo nights. Next to a university? Install a library and have a study corner. This way the locals will come pouring back to their local public houses."
[EFFECT] the police often break-up fights between pensioners and students
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last drink and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and unwind after a hard day's work. Because of the cost of alcohol and young people's preference for trendy new bars, it has been reduced to nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve the remaining pubs in @@NAME@@ by giving government subsidies to them, so ordinary folk can enjoy a drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar-nightclub-cafe-resto in @@CAPITAL@@, as the frame of @@HIS@@ glasses flashes lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Young people want music, dance and food with their drinks. I suggest you ease the regulations on renovating historic buildings, so that more pubs can be upgraded to clubs like mine."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "Pubs just need to diversify in order to remain competitive," posits @@RANDOMNAME@@, a business analyst, who is here to oversee the museum's exhibits. "The government could offer free business training to the landlords of failing pubs -- help them to modify their establishments to the needs of their local communities. A lot of elderly people nearby? Host bingo nights. Next to a university? Install a library and have a study corner. This way the locals will come pouring back to their local public houses."
[EFFECT] the police often break-up fights between pensioners and students
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[TITLE] Last Orders Please
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last drink and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and unwind after a hard day's work. Because of the cost of alcohol and young people's preference for trendy new bars, it has been reduced to nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve the remaining pubs in @@NAME@@ by giving government subsidies to them, so ordinary folk can enjoy a drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar & nightclub in @@CAPITAL@@, as the frame of @@HIS@@ glasses flashes lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Pubs must diversify in order to remain competitive. The government needs to offer free business training to the landlords of failing pubs, help them to modify their establishments to the needs of their local communities. A lot of elderly nearby? Host bingo nights. Next to a university? Install a library and have a study corner. City centre location? Offer music and dance. This way the locals will come pouring back to their local public houses."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last drink and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and unwind after a hard day's work. Because of the cost of alcohol and young people's preference for trendy new bars, it has been reduced to nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve the remaining pubs in @@NAME@@ by giving government subsidies to them, so ordinary folk can enjoy a drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar & nightclub in @@CAPITAL@@, as the frame of @@HIS@@ glasses flashes lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Pubs must diversify in order to remain competitive. The government needs to offer free business training to the landlords of failing pubs, help them to modify their establishments to the needs of their local communities. A lot of elderly nearby? Host bingo nights. Next to a university? Install a library and have a study corner. City centre location? Offer music and dance. This way the locals will come pouring back to their local public houses."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[TITLE] Last Orders Please
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last drink and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together after a hard day's work. Because of the cost of alcohol many people just buy their drinks from the supermarket, and now the pub is nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve them by reducing the business rates and make booze as cheap as it is in supermarkets, so ordinary folk can enjoy a drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar & nightclub in @@CAPITAL@@, as @@HIS@@ glasses flash lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Pubs must diversify in order to remain competitive. The government needs to offer free business training to landlords of failing pubs, help them to modify their establishments to the needs of their local communities. A lot of elderly nearby? Host bingo nights. Next to a university? Install a library and have a study corner. City centre location? Offer music and dance. This way the locals will come pouring back to their local public houses."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last drink and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together after a hard day's work. Because of the cost of alcohol many people just buy their drinks from the supermarket, and now the pub is nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve them by reducing the business rates and make booze as cheap as it is in supermarkets, so ordinary folk can enjoy a drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar & nightclub in @@CAPITAL@@, as @@HIS@@ glasses flash lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Pubs must diversify in order to remain competitive. The government needs to offer free business training to landlords of failing pubs, help them to modify their establishments to the needs of their local communities. A lot of elderly nearby? Host bingo nights. Next to a university? Install a library and have a study corner. City centre location? Offer music and dance. This way the locals will come pouring back to their local public houses."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[TITLE] Last Orders Please
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last drink and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and have a civilised chat after a hard day's work. Not having to try and shout over the music that blasts out in all these new bars and clubs. Also, pubs open in the afternoon, providing a friendly place for people to pop into as they go about their lives. But now the pub is becoming nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve them by reducing the business rates, so ordinary folk can enjoy a drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar & nightclub in @@CAPITAL@@, as @@HIS@@ glasses flash lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Pubs must diversify in order to remain competitive. The government needs to offer free business training to landlords of failing pubs, help them to modify their establishments to the needs of their local communities. A lot of elderly nearby? Host bingo nights. Next to a university? Install a library and have a study corner. City centre location? Offer music and dance. This way the locals will come pouring back to their local public houses."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties
[DESCRIPTION] The Village Bells, an iconic pub that has stood in the centre of @@CAPITAL@@ for over a century has poured its last drink and shut down. The building was demolished, brick-by-brick, and then rebuilt inside @@CAPITAL@@ Museum. With the number of pubs closing down at an ever increasing rate across the nation, you have been invited to listen to those in the industry at the unveiling of the museum's latest exhibit.
[VALIDITY] allows alcohol, capitalist, allows elderly
[OPTION] "What a tragedy," exclaims @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the former landlord of the Village Bells, whose 'real ale tastes better warm' t-shirt is adorned with a black armband. "For centuries the pub has been at the heart of @@DEMONYM@@ communities, where average folk can socialise together and have a civilised chat after a hard day's work. Not having to try and shout over the music that blasts out in all these new bars and clubs. Also, pubs open in the afternoon, providing a friendly place for people to pop into as they go about their lives. But now the pub is becoming nothing more than a museum piece. Please help preserve them by reducing the business rates, so ordinary folk can enjoy a drink at their local again."
[EFFECT] babies learn to pub-crawl before they can crawl
[OPTION] "Get with the times," retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of Inside Joy, the newest bar & nightclub in @@CAPITAL@@, as @@HIS@@ glasses flash lurid Day-Glo colours repeatedly. "No one wants to just sit around with a drink and chat with some old-timers about the 'good ol' days'. Pubs must diversify in order to remain competitive. The government needs to offer free business training to landlords of failing pubs, help them to modify their establishments to the needs of their local communities. A lot of elderly nearby? Host bingo nights. Next to a university? Install a library and have a study corner. City centre location? Offer music and dance. This way the locals will come pouring back to their local public houses."
[EFFECT] sunglasses are an essential part of night-time wear
[OPTION] "I have a well-oiled solution for everyone," states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of 'HomeBrewKits4U', as @@HE@@ pours a whole bag of sugar into the tea @@HE@@'s drinking. "The brick-and-mortar establishments in the city centre would be better suited to housing offices, malls, hospitals and places like that. Let everyone brew their own drinks at home. Then no one needs to worry about the kind of drinking spot they frequent, and can enjoy their tipple in the comfort of their own houses. A little government help for my business and I can start turning out those kits for every @@DEMONYMNOUN@@."
[EFFECT] students complain about the noise from their elderly neighbours' parties