[SUBMITTED] The Night Shift

[Jutsa]

I know I have other drafts, but I couldn't get the thought of child self-rearing off of my mind.
Of course, it's a rare policy, so I figured I'd make an issue that instates it. And that reminded me of another policy,
one I've been trying to work on for a good portion of time now...

I could use some help with effect lines and a character for option 3, and as usual, all advice is welcome.
"The Night Shift" is both a reference to parents having to work for their kids and the shift in how night life has changed/should change.
Doesn't have to stay that though

Draft 1.11

Title: The Night Shift
The Issue: The curfew has been great at keeping kids indoors and safe at night. It has been less great for many adults who come home from work looking for some quality time together.
Validity: Curfew

Validity: Marriage is legal
Option 1a: "It's not just that I can't spend a quiet evening at home with my wife anymore," says @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, looking a little blue. "It's the fact my kid's not doing anything! All he does is play games and do academic work — not hanging out with his friends and trying to get a girlfriend like he's supposed to! I beg of you to lift the curfew and let us parents decide what's best for our children."
[effect] parents are relieved when their teenage daughters announce they're pregnant

Validity: Marriage is illegal
Option 1b: "It's not just that I can't spend a quiet evening at home with my girlfriend anymore," says @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, looking a little blue. "It's the fact my kid's not doing anything! All he does is play games and do academic work — not hanging out with his friends and trying to get a girlfriend like he's supposed to! I beg of you to lift the curfew and let us parents decide what's best for our children."
[effect] parents are relieved when their teenage daughters announce they're pregnant

Option 2: "You just want to neglect your kid," says senior police chief and soccer mom @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@. "A child, even becoming an adult, needs not only parental supervision, but parental support. We should put parents on a curfew so they have to spend time with their children. In fact, it'd make everyone's job easier if you enforced the curfew for everyone under the age of seventy-five."
[effect] paramedics bring new meaning to the graveyard shift

Option 3: "Eck! I thought the purpose of keeping kids inside was so they'd leave us grownups alone," states Ms. Joy Freeman. "Know what? I think the curfew's not enough! Children should be thrown into the wilderness to fend for themselves. That'll keep them ragamuffins off my lawn!"
[effect] farms and sprinkler systems are pillaged regularly

Title: The Night Shift
The Issue: The curfew has been great at keeping kids indoors and safe at night. It has been less great for many adults who come home from work looking for some quality time together.
Validity: Curfew

Validity: Marriage is legal
Option 1a: "It's not just that I can't spend a quiet evening at home with my wife anymore," says @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, looking a little blue. "It's the fact my kid's not doing anything! All he does is play games and do academic work — not hanging out with his friends and trying to get a girlfriend like he's supposed to! I beg of you to lift the curfew and let us parents decide what's best for our children."
[effect] parents are relieved when their teenage daughters announce they're pregnant

Validity: Marriage is illegal
Option 1b: "It's not just that I can't spend a quiet evening at home with my girlfriend anymore," says @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, looking a little blue. "It's the fact my kid's not doing anything! All he does is play games and do academic work — not hanging out with his friends and trying to get a girlfriend like he's supposed to! I beg of you to lift the curfew and let us parents decide what's best for our children."
[effect] parents are relieved when their teenage daughters announce they're pregnant

Option 2: "You just want to neglect your kid," says senior police chief and former soccer mom @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@. "A child, even becoming an adult, needs not only parental supervision, but parental support. We should put parents on a curfew so they have to spend time with their children. In fact, it'd make everyone's job easier if you enforced the curfew for everyone under the age of seventy-five."
[effect] paramedics bring new meaning to the graveyard shift

Option 3: "Eck! I thought the purpose of keeping kids inside was so they'd leave us grownups alone," grumbles [I could use some help here, what's a character that hates kids who I can reference?] "Know what? I think the curfew's not enough! Children should be thrown into the wilderness to fend for themselves. That'll keep them ragamuffins off my lawn!"
[effect] farms and sprinkler systems are pillaged regularly

Title: The Night Shift
The Issue: The curfew has been great at keeping kids indoors and safe at night. It has been less great for many adults who come home from work looking for some quality time together.
Validity: Curfew

Validity: Marriage is legal
Option 1a: "It's not just that I can't spend a quiet evening at home with just my wife anymore," says @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, looking a little blue. "It's the fact my kid's not doing anything! All he does is play games and do academic work — not hanging out with his friends and trying to get a girlfriend like he's supposed to! I beg of you to lift the curfew and let us parents decide what's best for our children."
[effect] ???

Validity: Marriage is illegal
Option 1b: "It's not just that I can't spend a quiet evening at home with just my girlfriend anymore," says @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, looking a little blue. "It's the fact my kid's not doing anything! All he does is play games and do academic work — not hanging out with his friends and trying to get a girlfriend like he's supposed to! I beg of you to lift the curfew and let us parents decide what's best for our children."
[effect] ???

Option 2: "You just want to neglect your kid," says soccer mom and police chief @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@. "A child, until they're an adult, needs not only parental supervision, but parental support. We should put parents on a curfew so they have to spend time with their children."
[effect] nannies and night shift workers are now jobless while orphanages are booming

Option 3: "Eck! I thought the purpose of keeping kids inside was so they'd leave us grownups alone," grumbles [I could use some help here, what's a character that hates kids who I can reference?] "Know what? I think the curfew's not enough! Children should be thrown into the wilderness to fend for themselves. That'll keep them ragamuffins off my lawn!"
[effect] farms and sprinkler systems are pillaged regularly

[Australian rePublic]

Option 2- why don't you just take a page from the TV show the Simpsons, with a curfew for anyone under the age of 75

[Jutsa]

Option 2- why don't you just take a page from the TV show the Simpsons, with a curfew for anyone under the age of 75

Thought about doing that. Only reason I didn't was because emergency services probably need to be out at night (particularly cops because of course),
but that as an aside, I may very well still do that.

[USS Monitor]

Option 2- why don't you just take a page from the TV show the Simpsons, with a curfew for anyone under the age of 75

Thought about doing that. Only reason I didn't was because emergency services probably need to be out at night (particularly cops because of course),
but that as an aside, I may very well still do that.

Emergency services could then be run by people over the age of 75 with all the comical problems that would cause due to their failing health.

[Australian rePublic]

Thought about doing that. Only reason I didn't was because emergency services probably need to be out at night (particularly cops because of course),
but that as an aside, I may very well still do that.

Emergency services could then be run by people over the age of 75 with all the comical problems that would cause due to their failing health.

This. Retirement is a thing of the past, due to the demand for octogenerian paramedics

[Jutsa]

Retirement is a thing of the past, due to the demand for octogenerian paramedics

could weave this into the effect line. Yes, I quite like these words coming off of you peoples' finger tips...

[Jutsa]

Updated. Hope the new effect line ain't too brutal; another idea was about paramedics being equipped with oxygen tanks.

[Australian rePublic]

The effect for option 2 doesn't make much sense without context, or even with context. It's fun if you have to explain that they're all octogenarians

[Baggieland]

Suggestion for option 1 effect line:

parents are relieved when their teenage daughters announce their pregnant

[Australian rePublic]

Suggestion for option 1 effect line:

parents are relieved when their teenage daughters announce their pregnant

Is she married?

[Baggieland]

Is she married?

Does it matter?

[Australian rePublic]

Is she married?

Does it matter?

Yes. "I married off at 15 years old at an arranged marriage and she's finally pregnant. Took a while. Glad she's popping the grandkids before her biological clock runs out" is very different to "my 16 y/o who lives me and is supported by me, snuck out with her 16 y/o boyfriend and is now on underage and pregnant." The former, is outdated, mysogenstic bullshit which unfortunately still happens for some stupid reason, but is nonetheless a cause for celebration for those who support it, the later is an unfortunate accident as a result of bad decisions. And none of that even takes rape into account

[Jutsa]

Eh. When it comes to an effect line, it's still pretty eye-catching and humorous without overthinking the context.
I'll certainly think about it.

[Baggieland]

The suggestion is based around parents wanting the curfew to end so their kids can get out from under their feet, leaving the kids free to get up to whatever kids get up to. If the kids come home pregnant, drunk, with tattooes or whatever, then the parents aren't too bothered about it. If you like the suggestion, Jutsa, feel free to play around with it as you feel fit.

[Jutsa]

Yeah, threw that effect line onto option 1a/b. Course, changed "their" to "they're" — or, well, will after posting this. I hope.

Still dunno what to put in option 3's narrative if I may be honest.

[Baggieland]

Course, changed "their" to "they're"

Ooops!

It's not just that I can't spend a quiet evening at home with just my wife anymore

There are just too many 'justs' in here, Jutsa.

[Australian rePublic]

Eh. When it comes to an effect line, it's still pretty eye-catching and humorous without overthinking the context.
I'll certainly think about it.

In the west, thankfully, yes, but not everywhere. In some countries (e.g. Saudi Arabia, where they're gonna raise the minimum marriage age to 15) people would read that and think "yea, this is normal, my married daughter is pregnant". Whilst I would doubt that SA itself would have the freedom of speech to allow its citizens to access NS, people here on NS would undoubtably try to build countries which are similar to Saudi Arabia and thus have the same opinion.

[Jutsa]

Eh, I guess. But all that means is the effect line's not always funny depending on your culture.
If anyone can come up with a better idea, sure beans, but until then I think it's fine.

Also destroyed the second just.

[Jutsa]

Correction: Now I destroyed the second just. In both options.

Jeez, me. Changed one option in the original draft >.>

[Jutsa]

Well, guess I'll throw this into final bump. Got a lot of work to do on a lot of drafts and once again have not the motivation to play around in the drafts.
At least I've got a bit more time though so hopefully it'll come 'round again.

Edit: Oh, right, I didn't bump this before cause I wanted to think of something for option 3's narrative. Still gotta think of someone...
Eh, not-quite-final bump yet then. >.>

[Candlewhisper Archive]

It's a good premise, though it's a bit of an odd situation with this policy, as it's been used for whole population curfews and youth curfews in different places.

Not that that should affect your draft, but it'll be a hell of a mess for whichever editor picks this one up to unsort.

[Jutsa]

Fair. Kinda surprised there isn't a separate child vs. total curfew policy split, but at the same time at what point was it planned there'd need to be a distinction?

[Lelscrep]

If you're set on a reference, maybe work in the Grinch into the name, or Ebenezer Scrooge (I am aware these are both from Christmas media, unsure if that's a big issue).

Alternatively you could go for something ironic like Mr Young or Mr Joy. Your call.

[Jutsa]

Yeah, Scrooge and Grinch were the only two I could think of, but I literally had just used both of those names in my last issue, #1296.

[Lelscrep]

Yeah, Scrooge and Grinch were the only two I could think of, but I literally had just used both of those names in my last issue, #1296.

Ah well that'd make sense, being a Maxxmas issue and all

Maybe try Eeyore (possibly a stretch) or Grumpy (as in from Snow White), other than that I'm blank. Good luck!