The High Life
[desc]Your brother had to rush his two year old to the hospital after returning from a business trip and finding that his wife was too doped up to feed the child while he was gone. Your aides say incidents like this are on the rise across @@NAME@@ due to high drug consumption.
valid if: extremely high drug use
[option]"Hey, raising kids is a lot of work, and you can't blame people if they have a hard time keeping up," says one of your laziest aides. "We just need more social services and government-funded day care to make sure families have the support they need. Can you pass me another doughnut? I've got the munchies."
[effect]children grow up in seedy day cares with drug-addicted staff
[option]"Oh, please! It's not that hard!" says anxious parent @@RANDOMNAME@@, affectionately ruffling @@HIS@@ 6-year-old son's hair and popping a little yellow pill to calm @@HIS@@ nerves. "Parents just need a some training and more drugs to help us through our busy day."
[effect]every parent says life's just much too hard today
[option]"Dude, if you take more of those, you will get an overdose," says local drug dealer @@RANDOMNAME@@ who came to your office hoping to sell you some of @@HIS@@ best quality cocaine. "If @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are so bad at raising kids, then maybe we should just stop doing it. Turn the kids loose in the wild and let them take care of themselves. They'll probably do a better job than we do anyway."
[effect]stray dogs are better parents than @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@
[option]"Is that COCAINE?" bellows your chief of security who has suddenly awakened from a stupor and is now desperately trying to look alert and productive. "Since when do we allow DRUGS in government offices? Arrest that low-life! It's time to clean up the streets! Merge the @@CAPITAL@@ Police into my department and I'll have the city cleaned up in no time!"
[effect]heavily stoned police officers are unsure whether the recent directive to "clean up the streets" means arresting drug dealers or hosing down the sidewalk