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Watching People Fail Life

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Rojava Free State
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Left-Leaning College State

Watching People Fail Life

Postby Rojava Free State » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:20 pm

So this title is probably gonna catch a lot of eyes, and you're probably all wondering what it is I'm talking about. No, this thread isn't about literally watching someone take their last breath, so if that's your thing, you better make your own thread. This thread is more metaphorical but still kinda literal in its own respect. What I'm talking about is watching someone utterly fail at life and make all the wrong decisions, and because they're not gonna take advice, you're powerless to stop their little personal apocalypse.

So as some of you might know, my one ex girlfriend is a drug addict. Despite everything I tried, nothing worked and we ended up separating and for a couple years I didn't interact with her at all. I didn't know if I would ever see her again, and then one day all the years of anxiety, depression and PTSD came flooding back in with an Instagram post by this one girl I know. In the photo, the girl is on a boat somewhere on the great lakes. Guess who was next to her? So I was shocked and I felt this usual sick feeling wash over me. My ex looks even more decimated as a person than she did in highschool. Indeed, 5 years of addiction can turn a Jon Bon Jovi into a Mick Jagger, and fate wasn't kind to her.

Have any of you ever been unfortunate enough to witness a friend or family member totally ruin their life and pass the point of no return? How did you deal with the stress it caused? Is it wrong to still care even when you know that person not only doesn't care about you anymore but doesn't care about themself either?

I'm sure this topic totally isn't gonna give anyone the feels
Last edited by Rojava Free State on Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property, and sexy brown women

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Half Lebanese, Half Puerto Rican. All american. Not Kurdish at all.

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Farnhamia
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Farnhamia » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:24 pm

Good call on editing the title. ;)
Freedom ... or cake. ~ Ashmoria (RIP)
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And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water ...
"Make yourself at home, Frank. Hit somebody." RIP Don Rickles
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<Sigh> NSG...where even the atheists are Augustinians. ~ The Archregimancy
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RIP Dyakovo

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Nanatsu no Tsuki
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:26 pm

Rojava Free State wrote:So this title is probably gonna catch a lot of eyes, and you're probably all wondering what it is I'm talking about. No, this thread isn't about literally watching someone take their last breath, so if that's your thing, you better make your own thread. This thread is more metaphorical but still kinda literal in its own respect. What I'm talking about is watching someone utterly fail at life and make all the wrong decisions, and because they're not gonna take advice, you're powerless to stop their little personal apocalypse.

So as some of you might know, my one ex girlfriend is a drug addict. Despite everything I tried, nothing worked and we ended up separating and for a couple years I didn't interact with her at all. I didn't know if I would ever see her again, and then one day all the years of anxiety, depression and PTSD came flooding back in with an Instagram post by this one girl I know. In the photo, the girl is on a boat somewhere on the great lakes. Guess who was next to her? So I was shocked and I felt this usual sick feeling wash over me. My ex looks even more decimated as a person than she did in highschool. Indeed, 5 years of addiction can turn a Jon Bon Jovi into a Mick Jagger, and fate wasn't kind to her.

Have any of you ever been unfortunate enough to witness a friend or family member totally ruin their life and pass the point of no return? How did you deal with the stress it caused? Is it wrong to still care even when you know that person not only doesn't care about you anymore but doesn't care about themself either?

I'm sure this topic totally isn't gonna give anyone the feels


Yes. A very good friend from university. It’s hard to watch and even harder to know there’s nothing you can do. Because you can’t live their life and people only change their ways if the really want to and put the effort.

As to how I dealt with it? Well, I don’t think I ever did. He ended up committing suicide. As much as I mourned him in retrospect and as harsh as it will across, that may have been a blessing. He was on a fast track to death, suffering a lot and had no desire to stop. Death was a mercy.

Is it wrong to still care? No. Whatever happened, it was a person that had an effect on your life. Good or bad, in the end, it was someone you loved and you don’t want harm to come to them, not really.
Code name: Ratatouille Strychnine
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Heartless, ''transgendered non-binary kawaii Chan'', & a d*ck.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

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Rojava Free State
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Rojava Free State » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:30 pm

Farnhamia wrote:Good call on editing the title. ;)


Yeah I looked back at it and was like "that's too much"
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property, and sexy brown women

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Half Lebanese, Half Puerto Rican. All american. Not Kurdish at all.

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Rojava Free State
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Rojava Free State » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:31 pm

Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:
Rojava Free State wrote:So this title is probably gonna catch a lot of eyes, and you're probably all wondering what it is I'm talking about. No, this thread isn't about literally watching someone take their last breath, so if that's your thing, you better make your own thread. This thread is more metaphorical but still kinda literal in its own respect. What I'm talking about is watching someone utterly fail at life and make all the wrong decisions, and because they're not gonna take advice, you're powerless to stop their little personal apocalypse.

So as some of you might know, my one ex girlfriend is a drug addict. Despite everything I tried, nothing worked and we ended up separating and for a couple years I didn't interact with her at all. I didn't know if I would ever see her again, and then one day all the years of anxiety, depression and PTSD came flooding back in with an Instagram post by this one girl I know. In the photo, the girl is on a boat somewhere on the great lakes. Guess who was next to her? So I was shocked and I felt this usual sick feeling wash over me. My ex looks even more decimated as a person than she did in highschool. Indeed, 5 years of addiction can turn a Jon Bon Jovi into a Mick Jagger, and fate wasn't kind to her.

Have any of you ever been unfortunate enough to witness a friend or family member totally ruin their life and pass the point of no return? How did you deal with the stress it caused? Is it wrong to still care even when you know that person not only doesn't care about you anymore but doesn't care about themself either?

I'm sure this topic totally isn't gonna give anyone the feels


Yes. A very good friend from university. It’s hard to watch and even harder to know there’s nothing you can do. Because you can’t live their life and people only change their ways if the really want to and put the effort.

As to how I dealt with it? Well, I don’t think I ever did. He ended up committing suicide. As much as I mourned him in retrospect and as harsh as it will across, that may have been a blessing. He was on a fast track to death, suffering a lot and had no desire to stop. Death was a mercy.

Is it wrong to still care? No. Whatever happened, it was a person that had an effect on your life. Good or bad, in the end, it was someone you loved and you don’t want harm to come to them, not really.


The only thing worse than when someone dies is when they go on living to a point that life itself is pain. A person can die inside while still being very physically alive, and that's what really shakes me up
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property, and sexy brown women

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Half Lebanese, Half Puerto Rican. All american. Not Kurdish at all.

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Scomagia
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Founded: Apr 14, 2009
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Scomagia » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:32 pm

I've seen a lot of people fail with drugs, adultery, and generally lack discipline. It's not fun to watch but here's the secret: you don't have to watch. All you can do is try to show them options, see their own folly, and help them strive for improvement. If they won't do any of those things, well that sucks, but your role is over at that point.

Never try to help someone once you realize that person doesn't want to help themselves. It's a waste of time for you and, usually, you enable them to continue being damned fools, to both of your detriment.
[Insert bizarre political diatribe here]
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Nanatsu no Tsuki
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Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:34 pm

Rojava Free State wrote:
Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:
Yes. A very good friend from university. It’s hard to watch and even harder to know there’s nothing you can do. Because you can’t live their life and people only change their ways if the really want to and put the effort.

As to how I dealt with it? Well, I don’t think I ever did. He ended up committing suicide. As much as I mourned him in retrospect and as harsh as it will across, that may have been a blessing. He was on a fast track to death, suffering a lot and had no desire to stop. Death was a mercy.

Is it wrong to still care? No. Whatever happened, it was a person that had an effect on your life. Good or bad, in the end, it was someone you loved and you don’t want harm to come to them, not really.


The only thing worse than when someone dies is when they go on living to a point that life itself is pain. A person can die inside while still being very physically alive, and that's what really shakes me up


Indeed, but there isn’t much you can do unless they really wish to change. The helplessness is what eats at you.
Code name: Ratatouille Strychnine
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Heartless, ''transgendered non-binary kawaii Chan'', & a d*ck.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

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Bombadil
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Postby Bombadil » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:38 pm

I saw the best posters of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the NSG forums at dawn looking for an angry reply,
hotheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly debates to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating the 2nd Amendment..


Howl..
Eldest, that's what I am...Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn...he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless — before the Dark Lord came from Outside..

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Saiwania
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Saiwania » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:38 pm

I ruined my life by never getting a job. And now I'm too old to be a good hire, unless I can make up some spectacular story that'd excuse my lack of a resume. :rofl:

Deep down, I don't want to work if I don't have to. And I find life meaningless for the most part. I perhaps don't have anything I want to be. The only reason for a career or job, is to get enough of an income to survive off of. If I managed to strike it rich, of course I'd quit and try to live off of the proceeds and never contribute to society.

You could simply buy a woman (not in a literal sense) amongst other things, if you're rich enough.

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Ifreann
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Ifreann » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:39 pm

I dunno, how useful are the determinations of third parties in saying a person's life has been failed?
Mistake Not My Current State Of Joshing Gentle Banter For The Awesome And Terrible Majesty Of The Towering Seas Of Snark That Are Themselves The Mere Milquetoast Shallows Fringing My Vast Oceans Of Sarcasm
He/Him

Dangerous this Jack o' Hearts.
With his kiss
the riot
starts

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Rojava Free State
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Rojava Free State » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:43 pm

Ifreann wrote:I dunno, how useful are the determinations of third parties in saying a person's life has been failed?


When they're clearly destroying their health and relationships with others and the grim reaper is just around the corner, that's how you know they failed their whole existence.
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property, and sexy brown women

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Half Lebanese, Half Puerto Rican. All american. Not Kurdish at all.

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Rojava Free State
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Founded: Feb 06, 2018
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Rojava Free State » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:44 pm

Bombadil wrote:I saw the best posters of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the NSG forums at dawn looking for an angry reply,
hotheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly debates to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating the 2nd Amendment..


Howl..


Thank you for your work T.S. Eliot
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property, and sexy brown women

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Half Lebanese, Half Puerto Rican. All american. Not Kurdish at all.

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The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord
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Postby The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:44 pm

Saiwania wrote:I ruined my life by never getting a job. And now I'm too old to be a good hire, unless I can make up some spectacular story that'd excuse my lack of a resume. :rofl:

Deep down, I don't want to work if I don't have to. And I find life meaningless for the most part. I perhaps don't have anything I want to be. The only reason for a career or job, is to get enough of an income to survive off of. If I managed to strike it rich, of course I'd quit and try to live off of the proceeds and never contribute to society.

You could simply buy a woman (not in a literal sense) amongst other things, if you're rich enough.


So you're a... I dunno, hikikomori, perhaps?
< THE HIGH SWAGLORD | 8VALUES | POLITISCALES >
My NS stats are not indicative of my OOC views. NS stats are meant to be rather silly. My OOC political and ideological inspirations are as such:
The Republic, by Plato | Leviathan, by Thomas Hobbes | The Confucian civil service system of imperial China | The "Golden Liberty" elective
monarchy system of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth | The corporatist/technocratic philosophy of Henri de Saint-Simon | The communitarian
ideological framework of the Singaporean People's Action Party | "New Deal"-style societal regimentation | Kantian/Mohist/Stoic philosophy

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Rojava Free State
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Rojava Free State » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:45 pm

Saiwania wrote:I ruined my life by never getting a job. And now I'm too old to be a good hire, unless I can make up some spectacular story that'd excuse my lack of a resume. :rofl:

Deep down, I don't want to work if I don't have to. And I find life meaningless for the most part. I perhaps don't have anything I want to be. The only reason for a career or job, is to get enough of an income to survive off of. If I managed to strike it rich, of course I'd quit and try to live off of the proceeds and never contribute to society.

You could simply buy a woman (not in a literal sense) amongst other things, if you're rich enough.


How did you avoid work for so long?
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property, and sexy brown women

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Half Lebanese, Half Puerto Rican. All american. Not Kurdish at all.

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Scomagia
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Scomagia » Sun Aug 18, 2019 9:51 pm

Ifreann wrote:I dunno, how useful are the determinations of third parties in saying a person's life has been failed?

Usually the people who have really failed will say as much under the right conditions. But I think it's fair for a third party to observe someone they know and say, "X is really not living up to their potential and they're destroying themself".
[Insert bizarre political diatribe here]
MandatoryVirtueSignaling

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Saiwania
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Saiwania » Sun Aug 18, 2019 10:00 pm

Rojava Free State wrote:How did you avoid work for so long?


Family that loves me too much but has failed in all attempts to help me or steer me towards a right path. I'm able and willing to try whatever they suggest for me, but I just keep failing at it. I don't interview or resume well. People pretty much hate me, and in turn I resent them. And there will come a day when I'll truly be on my own, and the only path left is starvation perhaps.

I don't want to go out from such a painful death, but I want to go down fighting in some way metaphorically. It is like a warrior's death in that sense. Where I held on for as long as I could but didn't make it. I'm willing to accept help but I refuse to do any panhandling or begging. I have some basic honor to hold myself to. I have to work for money and can't expect to just be given it realistically speaking. I want to be able to offer value if motivated enough.

But on the other hand, I just really hate how most work is, especially if its team centric. I can't adapt well to how the world is.

The way I see it, I can either become a late bloomer or be a never bloomer. One is that I somehow become appealing enough or entrepreneurial enough to make it, and the other path is remaining lost in life until its too late, never get anywhere fast enough, and of course- die soon after.


Either of those, are acceptable to me because whatever happens will happen. It is meant to be. It must've been my destiny or fate if I naturally gravitate towards a path of failure or if I find some form of success in whatever form this might take. I will only ever go as far as I was meant to go.
Last edited by Saiwania on Sun Aug 18, 2019 10:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Ifreann
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Ifreann » Sun Aug 18, 2019 10:17 pm

Rojava Free State wrote:
Ifreann wrote:I dunno, how useful are the determinations of third parties in saying a person's life has been failed?


When they're clearly destroying their health and relationships with others and the grim reaper is just around the corner, that's how you know they failed their whole existence.

Is that, in fact, clear to us on the outside? And who are we to determine that as a fail state? If I decided that the best use of my life was to maximise my pleasure without directly harming others, who would you be to criticise my ensuing heroin addiction?
Mistake Not My Current State Of Joshing Gentle Banter For The Awesome And Terrible Majesty Of The Towering Seas Of Snark That Are Themselves The Mere Milquetoast Shallows Fringing My Vast Oceans Of Sarcasm
He/Him

Dangerous this Jack o' Hearts.
With his kiss
the riot
starts

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Nanatsu no Tsuki
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Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Sun Aug 18, 2019 10:19 pm

Ifreann wrote:
Rojava Free State wrote:
When they're clearly destroying their health and relationships with others and the grim reaper is just around the corner, that's how you know they failed their whole existence.

Is that, in fact, clear to us on the outside? And who are we to determine that as a fail state? If I decided that the best use of my life was to maximise my pleasure without directly harming others, who would you be to criticise my ensuing heroin addiction?


Your hypothetical heroin addiction can definitely hurt others, your loved ones for example.
Code name: Ratatouille Strychnine
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Heartless, ''transgendered non-binary kawaii Chan'', & a d*ck.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

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Scomagia
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Founded: Apr 14, 2009
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Scomagia » Sun Aug 18, 2019 10:23 pm

Ifreann wrote:
Rojava Free State wrote:
When they're clearly destroying their health and relationships with others and the grim reaper is just around the corner, that's how you know they failed their whole existence.

Is that, in fact, clear to us on the outside? And who are we to determine that as a fail state? If I decided that the best use of my life was to maximise my pleasure without directly harming others, who would you be to criticise my ensuing heroin addiction?

It's actually simple. By not wanting help or to help yourself, you are undeserving of help and, therefore, your heroin addiction is your own problem.
[Insert bizarre political diatribe here]
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New haven america
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Postby New haven america » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:08 am

Hello! Failure of life checking in, where are my homies?
Human of the male variety
Will accept TGs
Char/Axis 2020

That's all folks~

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Cappuccina
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Authoritarian Democracy

Postby Cappuccina » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:25 am

New haven america wrote:Hello! Failure of life checking in, where are my homies?

Here here!
Obligatory Pronouns so you don't oppress me with misgendering: her/she....yay
##################
Economic Left/Right: -5.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 2.46


D'Islami Žumhuria Kapušinu
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~Ni karže a d'Ala!~

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Kowani
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Kowani » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:30 am

I’ve had friends go down the drug path. One of them became a trafficker. I think he’s in Córdoba now. Or maybe Morocco. It wasn’t pleasant.
Narcissistic (Hedonistic) Nihilist. Yes, I am edgy. I know.
Atheist and still proud of it.
Post-Capitalist, Post-Nationalist.
Rights are functionally just privileges society has deemed important.
Prydania wrote:
As a Canadian? I find Americans and their deep, deep distrust of the government to be fundamentally, critically, laughably flawed. I find some aspects of your country completely absurd. The distrust of anything remotely resembling authority is one. The gun problem that stems from that is another.

Seangoli wrote:You are spouting nonsensical drivel with no coherent thought, little logic, and at the end of it all just angry opining at the clouds based on a truly astonishly low level of knowledge or understanding of the subject matter.

0% Capitalism

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Chan Island
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Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Chan Island » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:30 am

It's terrible watching people "fail at life". Usually it's drugs, sometimes a bad act that got caught. You try to help but there's only so much you can do. Breaks my heart every time.
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord
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Founded: Jul 22, 2016
Father Knows Best State

Postby The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:33 am

New haven america wrote:Hello! Failure of life checking in, where are my homies?


Sorry mate, but my life is (overall) the best it's ever been, and my prospects remain bright!
< THE HIGH SWAGLORD | 8VALUES | POLITISCALES >
My NS stats are not indicative of my OOC views. NS stats are meant to be rather silly. My OOC political and ideological inspirations are as such:
The Republic, by Plato | Leviathan, by Thomas Hobbes | The Confucian civil service system of imperial China | The "Golden Liberty" elective
monarchy system of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth | The corporatist/technocratic philosophy of Henri de Saint-Simon | The communitarian
ideological framework of the Singaporean People's Action Party | "New Deal"-style societal regimentation | Kantian/Mohist/Stoic philosophy

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Chan Island
Senator
 
Posts: 3787
Founded: Nov 26, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Chan Island » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:40 am

The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord wrote:
New haven america wrote:Hello! Failure of life checking in, where are my homies?


Sorry mate, but my life is (overall) the best it's ever been, and my prospects remain bright!


Ooooh, look at you. Everyone gather around Mr Success Story here and let's listen to the fireside chat. :p
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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