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A staging-point for declarations of war and other major diplomatic events. [In character]

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Allanea
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 26061
Founded: Antiquity
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Allanea » Tue Oct 08, 2019 12:47 am

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From: Grand Ambassador Peter Nizhinsky, Speaker-to-Slavers
To: Public Release
Subj: The Ostensible Revolution

I will first of all remind you that Allanea has never claimed a "subservience" to any World Assembly document, nor has it ever subscribed to any clause of any kind of any World Assembly resolution, and it shall continue to never do so. As such we do not agree that the clauses you quoted are "supreme". We have never guaranteed a "subservience" to such a right.

You proceed to then use the term "neoliberal", a word used by pseudo-intellectuals to conflate any and all of their opponents together – classical liberals and theocrats, libertarians and fascists, monarchists and anarcho-capitalists, and so on forever.

But to answer your question: the Free Kingdom stands, now and always, for the rights to life, liberty, and property. You may believe that your revolution is inevitable. We know that historic inevitability is a sham, perpetrated by unwashed Marxists to intimidate their opponents both intellectually and physically into surrendering to the whims of the so-called representatives of the proletariat.

Let us ignore momentarily the many philosophical problems with your statements (you claim capitalism is unconsented – but then a paragraph down the page you mock those laborers that reject your Communist snake-oil). The question, of course, is not even whether capitalism is superior to Maoism. But what is absolutely fascinating that you accuse us of a failure to cooperate.

This is a bizarre response – we have rejected your objective of replacing the government of South Reinkalistan with a Maoist or Communist one, and we have rejected your measures of sanctions because those measures are economically ignorant and would not work even if the objective was improving South Reinkalistan's human rights record rather than worsening it, as is your actual objective.

Conversely, we have proposed several measures that would actually improve the lot of the supposed oppressed proletarians, including opening avenues of diplomacy with South Reinkalistan to improve its policies, as well as welcoming refugees from this country.

The twin questions of all public policy are as opposed to what? and at what costs

Both Allanea and the Pan-Asiatic States clearly have condemned the recent outbursts of violence in South Reinkalistan.

But what you seek to replace the government of South Reinkalistan with is an outburst of revolutionary violence, to be replaced in turn with a dictatorship of the proletariat.

It is not clear why we would consider that to be better (even if elections were held regularly, and the proletarian mass-murder reaffirmed by majority vote) than what exists today. The alternative is clearly far worse, and the cost would be tens of thousands of lives.
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Pan-Asiatic States
Senator
 
Posts: 3882
Founded: Nov 14, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Pan-Asiatic States » Fri Oct 11, 2019 5:08 am

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News | Balita | 通讯
Pan-Asiatic States
Estados Pan-Asyatiko
泛亚洲国家


ENGLISH | INGLES | 英语


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The Rising Threat of One-Nation Conservatism
Pravda Asiatica
October 11th, 2019

In the 19th Century, workers began to demand equal rights and support socialist movements, culminating in events such as the establishment of the Paris Commune in 1871. The capitalist elite were worried for their power, and whilst the Commune was crushed support for the left continued to grow as oppressed workers grew tired of exploitation. However, in recent years, King Alexander Blaken-Kazansky of the "Free" Kingdom of Allanea created a despicable ideology which pretended to appease the poor and downtrodden whilst keeping power firmly in the hands of the elites - One-Nation Conservatism.

One-Nation Conservatism claims to benefit all in society, declaring the belief that people have an obligation to help one another and that the wealthy should aid the poor. In other words it justified the wealthy elite controlling the poorer masses, as they could and would help the poor. Disraeli kept up this foul ruse by supposedly offering better protections to workers, as well as factory and health acts, but this form of conservatism like all the others offers little true power to the workers. One-Nation Conservatives claim to deliver social justice, but like all capitalists, they serve only the privileged few.

But this ideology is dangerous to socialism. In fact, it may be its single most dangerous ideological opponent. One-Nation Conservatism distracts the masses with a few meaningless concessions, making capitalism appear beneficial for poorer citizens too not just the ruling class. All the while private business continues to exploit and abuse the proletariat. The true reason the Allaneans have created this ideology is not, as socialism was, to help the poorer people. Instead it was through fear of social revolution. Through fear that the masses would realise their own power and rise up to expel capitalism. Even today conservatives disguise their crushing policies under the mask of One-Nation, to appear caring and humanitarian whilst exploiting workers at every opportunity in favour of supporting business.

The success of Prime Minister Karam Anagatya in Jaragupta, and President Martha Leyner in Kendor, highlights the danger of accepting capitalism for the masses. These parties, whilst it is true that they do not currently claim to stand by one-nation principles, have pretended to care for the poor with a compassionate message. As has been demonstrated time and time again however, they care only for business and the elite. That is why the socialist world must fight these poisonous ideologies and destroy this ruse. Only socialism truly establishes equality, only socialism truly cares for the people, only socialism is willing to allow the workers any true power in their nation.

Whilst our nations may have seen the true nature of the right, other nations are being blinded by their lies. It is the duty of all socialist nations, through organizations such as the International Socialist Congress and the Socialist Union of Nations Economic Bloc, to expose these lies for what they are.

Long live socialism! May the capitalist oppressors be struck down and eliminated!
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TURTLESHROOM II
Senator
 
Posts: 4131
Founded: Dec 08, 2014
Capitalist Paradise

Postby TURTLESHROOM II » Tue Dec 31, 2019 12:26 pm

{ OOC: The character in this story is based off of Azula from the "Avatar" series and bears a striking, but vastly more homely, resemblance to her. She has the exact same voice as the actual character. }


Frantic typing. Sweat. Fear. Dial tones.

Shouting. Weeping. Mournful songs of the revolution. SKREEE KZZZZ KAAHHHHH DOO-WAH-DOO-WAH-DOO. Dial-up was the only thing being focused on.

"No time to finish! Don't correct it! Who cares if you used the English keyboard!! HIT SEND! HIT SEND NOW!!"

CRASH!!

Code: Select all
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY FOUND US, CHAIRMAN, AND THEY SENT _HER_! WE WERE OUTGUNNED, OUT MANNED. FIRE. EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE. I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH FIRE. HER FIRE.

YOUR GARRISON OF MEN, THERE ARE NO SURVIVORS, WE------


The incomplete message was sent by a Pan-Asian soldier stationed with Sum Ting Wong. He slammed his computer mouse at the last second. Howling and the crackling of a conflagration could be heard in the far distance as the Asian man at the computer stood up. The smoke looking in the windowless room for the exit. Grabbing a nearby gas mask but not yet putting it on, he cried as he watched the door rammed off by its hinges.

The exposed bulbs in the room flickered and went black. it seems the burning elsewhere cut the power. A single firelight could be seen, illuminating... a metal tube? There was only one reason that could be the case.

Oh no. Oh no no no.

The little flame moved and paused for a moment, creating a second fire. This one burnt significantly brighter. It was a hurricane lantern. That was when the first fire went out. Wait. The first fire went out? That wasn't a pilot light?

The lamplight illuminated the weapon. It looked like... was that a firearm? With a tube coming out of it? What was with the industrial dollies?

A calm, cool voice spoke.

"You know, TurtleShroom uses a mixture of flamethrowers. Some imported from the West. Some from the East. You're not the only one into the Orient's aesthetics and arms. Personally, I think the ROK flamethrowers look the coolest, but this baby? She's more fun."

By now, the screaming had stopped. The sound of jackboots faintly tapping on the concrete floor of the logging warehouse was the only noise besides the crackling of flames. A man cannot fight a flamethrower, and the two turtles with machine guns on their backs flanking her proved he was cornered.

"Most flamethrowers shoot a steady stream of fire. The LPO-50 flamethrower? Its compressor is electrically powered by batteries. It shoots three distinct bursts."

The distressed PAS agent was trembling. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a calm whisper right next to his ear.

"One. Two. Three."

A gloved finger deftly glided across his cheek.

Image

The hurricane lamp rose up and illuminated the speaker's face.* A woman of clear Asian descent with thick lips and blood red lipstick was smiling, revealing her crooked grin and buck teeth that barely protruded out of her closed mouth. She apparently took off her gas mask when she entered the room. The reflection of the firelight showed on her heavy, coke bottle glasses.

"Agni Badwell."

He realized his back was to something. A stack of crates boxing him in.

"Ah, so you've heard of me. You fear me."

Again with the gliding of her hands on him. It was almost flirtatious, in a way. By TurtleShroomian standards, she was more developed and attractive than most. In the Pan-Asian States, she was on the opposite end of the scale, bordering on ugly but not quite.
What was the word in English? Homely, that's right.

Her confidence, her calm, pretty, authoritative voice, her graceful and quick movements... these were those of a woman ten times hotter. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it worked. The incongruity between a homely body and face against such an impressive display of Femme Fatale only served to heighten the PAS agent's anxiety. His heart was racing from fear.

Trembling as he was, he still remained strong. Thoughts of the great writings of Mao, Marx, and Pan-Orientalism kept his terror in check. His body was shaking, but not his mind.

His thoughts were broken by that voice. That always calm, smug voice.

"You are a Pan-Asian operative. We both know full well that you will never break. You commies have a lot of disgusting traits and you are even suicidal for your foolish dogma, but that is your virtue. You are loyal to a fault."

"That's why I am going to spare you."

"Sp-spare me?"

As she was speaking, she had removed her gloves, unknowing to him. A tanned, long-fingered hand, tipped by chipped paint of blood red fingernails, suddenly rushed up and grabbed him by the top of his shirt. Agni was not strong enough to lift him, so she pushed upward and slammed him against the crates, getting right in his face.

"The Mongols of Asia and the Mongoloids that invaded TurtleShroom sent messages to people that insulted the Great Khan's diplomats. Even greater is treason, which your putrid state has incited among the men here. These men are dead."

"Your commander? Dead. The native traitors? Dead. Everyone you've served with is dead. Do you hear that, you dirty Marxist? That's right, you hear nothing. Only the sweet sounds of the flame."

The turtles' guns remained fixated on the man from both angles as Agni turned her back. The man with the industrial dollie stepped forward as Agni confidently screwed in the hoses and tanks to her flamethrower.

"You know the best part of manning a flamethrower? By the time the tank is empty, everything's over, even the men are quiet. There's nothing but the crackling of burning thatch."

* SHING! *

What was that sound? It sounded like a sword being unsheathed. Maybe silverware being rubbed.

"You see, commie, it's not the noise that defines a flamethrower. It's the silence. To send a message to your commanders, I cannot abide full silence."

Agni turned back to face the man. Clutched in her right hand was........ a spoon. Not just any spoon. A gorgeous spoon with a pearl handle. Its handle curved upwards and then back down to the end, where the eating part of the spoon stuck out. That part was cupped, and solid gold.

"I have many names, commie. 'Agni the Butcher'. 'Agni the Grill Master'. 'Agni, Daughter of Fire'. 'Agni the Fire Khan', 'Fire Lady Badwell'.... but the one I enjoy most?"

She held the spoon upwards in her fist, holding it to the right of her face. That grin was terrifying. The spoon glimmered in the light.

"'Agni Longspoon.'"

She stepped closer. The man with the industrial dollie reached behind him and pulled out what seemed to be an ice pack from an insulated pocket of his backpack and some medical supplies. He also had a frying pan, reared back.

"We Orientals have unique eyes. Slanted eyes. Your bigoted propaganda says we are a master race, some sort of domineering masters of the earth, fighting back against a great 'imperialist menace'. Yet so many of our people get surgery to change such an unique feature on them. You and I know the truth, and we both think we look great, just as we are."

She smirked.

"-but some of us don't deserve to look good. Now hold still. If you don't, we may not be able to knock you out. You'll see what this spoon is for when you wake up."

That spoon and that face would be the last thing the Pan-Asian "patriot" ever saw. Everything went black.




* = I am a terrible drawer. This is actually one of my better drawings. Also, she is not using the same flamethrower as she is in this story, which is why it has a pilot light.


In case you didn't follow the plot, Azula Agni blinded the PAS soldier. I hope that PAS proper can RP the soldier's stumbling return.
Last edited by TURTLESHROOM II on Sat Jan 04, 2020 2:28 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Jesus loves you and died for you!
World Factbook
First Constitution
Legation Quarter
"NOOKULAR" STOCKPILE: 701,033 fission and dropping, 7 fusion.
CM wrote:Have I reached peak enlightened centrism yet? I'm getting chills just thinking about taking an actual position.

Proctopeo wrote:anarcho-von habsburgism

Lillorainen wrote:"Tengri's balls, [do] boys really never grow up?!"
Nuroblav wrote:On the contrary! Seize the means of ROBOT ARMS!
News ticker (updated 4/6/2024 AD):

As TS adapts to new normal, large flagellant sects remain -|- TurtleShroom forfeits imperial dignity -|- "Skibidi Toilet" creator awarded highest artistic honor for contributions to wholesome family entertainment (obscene gestures cut out)

User avatar
TURTLESHROOM II
Senator
 
Posts: 4131
Founded: Dec 08, 2014
Capitalist Paradise

Postby TURTLESHROOM II » Tue Dec 31, 2019 12:34 pm

Code: Select all
!

The death toll of the TurtleShroomian Civil War is still being assessed. Millions of innocents paid with their lives to fight your ideology.

Never again.

This letter will be hand-delivered by one of your infiltrators along with a gift. I'm sure the contents of it will end the scuffle between our two great nations.

-The Commanding Officer of the TurtleShroomian Flamethrower Corps, acting in independent capacity



Stumbling in with the blinded agent, the Pan-Asian customs agents would find a hay-lined crate containing nine charred, severed heads. Each were harvested after the death of their owners. Six of them would be the agents sent to help the Sum Ting Wong Tong. Three would be the leaders of the Sum Ting Wong Tong itself.

Written on each of their heads in the language of Democratic Koyro, in permanent ink, were the words "DEATH IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO MARXISM".
Jesus loves you and died for you!
World Factbook
First Constitution
Legation Quarter
"NOOKULAR" STOCKPILE: 701,033 fission and dropping, 7 fusion.
CM wrote:Have I reached peak enlightened centrism yet? I'm getting chills just thinking about taking an actual position.

Proctopeo wrote:anarcho-von habsburgism

Lillorainen wrote:"Tengri's balls, [do] boys really never grow up?!"
Nuroblav wrote:On the contrary! Seize the means of ROBOT ARMS!
News ticker (updated 4/6/2024 AD):

As TS adapts to new normal, large flagellant sects remain -|- TurtleShroom forfeits imperial dignity -|- "Skibidi Toilet" creator awarded highest artistic honor for contributions to wholesome family entertainment (obscene gestures cut out)

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Confederate American SU
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 167
Founded: Aug 29, 2019
New York Times Democracy

Postby Confederate American SU » Tue Feb 11, 2020 7:40 pm

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News
Republic of Confederate American States and Syndicates




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Casey F. Pickett, the Captain-General of the Confederate-Continental Citizen Forces, has arrived at Independence Hall to announce his return from retirement. The nation is watching from the web at the balcony of Independence Hall to see what this revolutionary war hero has to say.




Pickett walks out of the balcony, shifting side to side with a swagger and wearing sunglasses along with his blue officer's greatcoat and red dress. A cavalry hat sat atop his fiery red hair, while his slender arms were crossed. It was like he was aping Mussolini.

Suddenly, he began his speech, "Comrades, compatriots, fellow citizens! I am here to make an announcement. An announcement of why I ended my retirement by arriving here." Pickett then corrected himself, "Technically, you never voted me out, but I have a reason why I came here." A shit-eating smirk then grew on his pale, freckled face before...

"Guanyu is a smelly gook with a small penis!" Pickett announced to the world before pinching his index finger and thumb, "It's this size, probably smaller! His wife probably doesn't even feel his pathetic firepower." He then gave a sly smile and wiggled himself in front of the cameras, "Meanwhile, I got the looks, the brains, and all the firepower you can possibly want."

With a big smile, Casey simply said, "That's it. You all can go back home now. Sorry, for wasting your time by pointing out the obvious self-evident truth that the leader of the Pan-Asiatic States is tiny down there. I mean, Filipinos are all puny down there, right?"

"I wasted my time for this shit?!" someone yelled out in the distance.

"Yes," Pickett simply answered, making the crowds laugh. When they finally stopped laughing, the redhead coughed into the microphone, "Nope, not really. I'm actually here to update you, the average citizen, on the military state of affairs. I mean, that's part of my job after all. Specifically, we're going to talk about a certain elephant in the room who has been threatening our free, democratic republic. A certain Pan-Ass- I mean, Pan-Asiatic States."



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The Australian First Party, aligned with the RCAS, is protesting in the streets along with RCAS-influenced labor unions. Sinophobic tendencies are exploited as workers attack Chinese migrants during the protests. The protesters are calling for an Australian Republic, the revocation of gun control, the implementation of direct democracy, and closer relations with the RCAS.
Last edited by Confederate American SU on Tue Feb 11, 2020 7:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
★★========★★
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★No, it is not the South. SU stands for 'States and Unions'. The right acronym is RCAS. Please read the Factbook.★

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Pan-Asiatic States
Senator
 
Posts: 3882
Founded: Nov 14, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Pan-Asiatic States » Sun May 24, 2020 4:35 am

Blacksite Peach Garden
Somewhere in Northeastern China

The facility, an underground complex in a classified location, was a compound owned and run by the AMC - one of the many blacksites where military secrets are spilled and new, sometimes wretched, gadgets are tested. Hundreds of feet below the surface, a man of short stature sits blinded, his uniform scorched and bloodied.

The soldier, alone by the blank-white walls eerily tinted by an emerald green light which flickered every few moments, faced a one-sided glass of interrogational proportion. He sat discombobulated and nervous, sweating profusely. Blood oozed out of his wounds still, while a soaked bandage covered the side of his head. On the other side of the glass, a crowd of MSPS agents in olive-green fatigues whispered among themselves in Mandarin.

Another agent of the MSPS, clad in black, burst into the room where the others had gathered, holding a dossier in one hand. "Gentlemen," he uttered.

"It's done. Everything's here. It's been sent to Neo-Manila," further explained he, waving the dossier.

"What's to be done with him?" asked one of the younger agents in the crowd.

"We can't risk this information going public, nor can word of our incompetencies," responded the black-clad agent. "Go ahead and put a bullet in his brain. Everyone who has lost their lives today died in a training accident. Not a single word of this shall be said here ever again. Now then - do the deed."





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May 24th, 2020
Malacañang Palace

"...the estimated death toll of the TurtleShroomian Civil War is in the tens-of-thousands, but the Sixth Administration refuses to make public comment about its stance on the matter," reports a Korean man in a black coat, with his eyes locked onto an industrial-grade camera and a teleprompter - his mouth towards a handheld microphone.

"Many observers state that this unwillingness to discuss the issue may be an effect of the outspoken criticisms against the Administration in its recent string of provocations against capitalist nations worldwide. Many still await the upcoming statement on what the Pan-Asiatic States' involvement in the Kongsi-Nacrad war may be, and the general public still remains largely disillusioned by this Administration's participation in the invasion of Jaragupta.

Regardless, many of the M.O.T.S we've interviewed today believe that this silence from Federal officials may represent a turning-point in the way that it talks about international conflicts in the future, and if nothing else, has only provoked a thirst from the media to question this Administration's agenda further, rather than quenched it.

We'll update this story as it unfolds. Once again, reporting live from Malacañang Palace, I'm Pok Yo-Han, and this has been a special report Eastern Universal Press. Back to you, studio."





"Mr. Secretary-General," inquired a middle-aged woman in a black plaid skirt and a blazer. "Why do you keep doing this? We already have our hands full."

"I can't turn a blind eye, Katrina. I have to save these people. Those TurtleShroomians... they will stop at nothing. I mean, if they were willing to do this to one of our own people, imagine what they'd be willing to do to one of their own."

It has been half a year since the forward delegation of MSPS agents to the TurtleShroomian communist movement returned with only a single man with no eyes. The government of the People's Federation has had no contact with the underground movement since - its hands and resources busy with an invasion of an island dictatorship, the suppression of anti-war movements all across the country, and the regulation of its booming economy.

"Abra... I don't want a dead husband. You know what the Anglos did to Fernando."

Katrina Nishikino-Abramovich, Undersecretary for Foreign Affairs, leaned over to her husband who was now staring into the distant river, reminiscing an even more distant past.

"Back in the Partisan, it was clear who we were fighting - the Japanese, of course. There was a set command structure, a hierarchy of officers, and land was the measure of victory. These days, you don't know who to trust, nor who has the moral high ground, nor even how to measure whether you're winning or not. Just moves and counter-moves in this great game of nations..."
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