Haruhi: Okay, future leaders of Cartoonia, we will now wrap up tonight's debate.
Izuku: Tomorrow is primary elections too. Every citizen of Cartoonia and her territories have a week long voting period to count up the votes and include any last minute endorsements from outside sources. Before we go, is there any last remarks you would like to say, maybe your goals for Cartoonia.
Haruhi: We’ll start with you Nigel.
Nigel: Kids of Cartoonia. I promise you a golden age of kid rule over the country and vast empire. An age where children can play and do what they want without the fear of adult tyranny, poverty, illness, and pollution. Adults may be smart, but us kids are smarter. Give me the chair, and I shall make Cartoonia a safe haven for children!
Izuku: Wonderful, Chad?
Chad: We thrive on the success of our military endeavours. Whether it be from victory over the enemy, or new territories gifted by other nations, we will use our resources to combat those who wish to see us undone. Those who wish our sixty-five years of dedication to our freedoms crumble to the ground shall rue the day they mess with us. Elect me and I shall make Cartoons reign above all others.
Haruhi: Cartman?
Cartman: Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a choice. The liberal hippie feminist movement? Or the chance to show off the might of Cartoonia’s forces. Empire makes right and Cartoonians are superior above all. I leave you with a quote by the famous chancellor, Otto Von Bismarck. “The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of speeches and majority decisions but by iron and blood”. And remember friends, Alle begrüßen das neue Cartoon-Imperium!
Izuku: Great! Papa Smurf.
Papa Smurf: I’m not going to say anything because literally everyone has scummed to capitalism, it will ruin us. Ruin us all!
Haruhi: Pearl?
Pearl: Remember friends. We stand by freedom and fight against tyranny, whatever it may be. Gender oppression, bullying, slavery, we shall fight for the freedom for all.
Izuku: Tamaki?
Tamaki: We may be the party of the liberal gentry, but we will grant more freedoms under our party leadership. Free market trade will increase, international relations will strengthen, and our children will be safeguarded.
Haruhi: Jellal?
Jellal: The atrocities of the past shall never happen again as long as I’m in office. There will nevermore be afraid of being abducted and enslaved. No more shall religion be oppressed, and our fight against poverty and illness shall continue. God save Cartoonia!
Izuku: Steven?
Steven: Look. We all have been under the rule of the conservatives for far too long. Maybe it is time for change. End our colonial expansion. End our militaristic government, and end our current supreme leadership.
Haruhi: Avdocha.
Avdocha: Though I have sinned for being here today. I will atone for these sins once I get into the office of the chancellor. We will reclaim our nation’s environment for the great goddess and we will go back to the days of nature, primitive nature. Spear and arrow. We won’t need much though as the great goddess will protect us.
Izuku: Wendy.
Wendy: Men are oppressors and this needs to end.
Cartman: Boo Wendy-
Haruhi: Calm down. Loud?
Loud: Though yes a young man I may be, my ideals and proposals might save Cartoonia from the dangerous ideas the left might bring up. Traditionalism and our cultural heritage is always at the forefront of our minds, and we shall preserve them. Let us be the light for all others to follow. Long live Cartoonia’s ideals. Long live the Supreme Leader! CARTOONS ABOVE ALL FOREVER!
Izuku: Great! And that is all the time we have for tonight. May I wish our candidates the best of luck for the upcoming electoral season. Four will continue on to the second election , and then the top two candidates will head on face to face to ultimatley become Chancellor and Attorney General of Cartoon House.
Haruhi: I’m Haruhi Fujioka
Izuku: And I’m Izuku Midoriya
Haruhi: And on behalf of Tom Tucker, Kent Brockman, and the crew of the National Broadcast Server. We want to wish you all a good night, and remember to vote.
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Time: 9:51 PM
September 8, 2019
Cartoon National Broadcasting Company. Gallagher, Cartoonia
