[DRAFT] Murderously Sweet Suspect

[The Rhein States]

TITLE Muderously Sweet Suspect

VALIDITY Must not ban animal experimentation

DESCRIPTION
Acesulfame Potassium, also known as Ace K, a calorie-free sugar substitute, used in over fifty percent of sweetened products, has been the suspect of carcinogenic deaths. A study, dividing the scientific world, has found that mice given high dosage of Ace K had a higher prevelance of cancer, The head of the @@INITIALS@@ Food and Drug Administration has come to your office to explain the organsations stance on this matter.

OPTION 1 - "This so-called study had several shortcomings." explains @@RANDOMNAME@@, while showing a candy-colored powerpoint presentation, "Randomization flaws *click* poor animal monitoring *click* and an inadequate test duration. We have assessed Ace K ourselfs and, @@LEADER@@, it is completly GRAS so don't worry, it's safe."

EF C4H4KNO4S is consumed more than ever

OPTION 2 - "Better safe than sorry, " replies @@RANDOMNAME@@, from the Center of Science in the Public Interest, embittered, "The @@INITIALS@@FDA deemed Ace K 'generally recognized as safe' without so much as a quick review! Nothing has been proven yet and until proper research has been done we must ban Ace K as sweetener in consumer products."

EF Advantame, Alitame and Aspartame are appetizing alternatives

OPTION 3 - @@RANDOMNAME@@, a ninety-year-old citizen comes shambling into your office, "We had no such problems in the past. Bring back sugar and get rid of those nasty modern inventions."

EF Body fat isn't as artificial as the sweeteners once were

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

To be honest, I'd probably dismiss this issue outright if I received it. There isn't really a political or ideological question being asked in this draft. All I really have to go on are just simple statements that "it's safe" and "it's not safe." If anything, I'd like to see the study so I can decide for myself, but that's obviously beyond the scope of issues generally.

A more appropriate example might be the debate about smoking or drinking, which carry arguments and implications concerning individual action and autonomy (and thus about a political/ideological stance which @@LEADER@@ can take). For instance, @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of @@DENONYM@@ Tobacco Company and noted necromancer, might argue that even if smoking causes lung cancer (and we're not conceding that it does!) it's still up to the individual to decide what they put into their alveoli. And @@RANDOMNAME@@, President of the @@NATION@@ Lung Society and professional busybody, might counter that second-hand smoke is contrary to individual rights, since smokers decide for other people by polluting the air.

Etc., and etc.

It might be difficult coming up with a similar take for an artificial sweetener, since it probably doesn't have second-hand effects like smoking (and drinking, via behavioral effects) does, but hopefully you get the idea. What's the pressing social issue that @@LEADER@@ needs to decide here?

[USS Monitor]

TITLE Muderously Sweet Suspect

VALIDITY Must not ban animal experimentation

DESCRIPTION
Acesulfame Potassium, also known as Ace K, a calorie-free sugar substitute, used in over fifty percent of sweetened products, has been the suspect of carcinogenic deaths. A study, dividing the scientific world, has found that mice given high dosage of Ace K had a higher prevelance of cancer, The head of the @@INITIALS@@ Food and Drug Administration has come to your office to explain the organsations stance on this matter.

This could be stronger. Partly it's what Bot Cleaners said. Partly it's that the FDA explaining their position to you isn't a dilemma. If you already have an FDA and they already have a position, then why does @@LEADER@@ need to be involved?

EF Advantame, Alitame and Aspartame are appetizing alternatives

The effect line makes no sense out of context. If people see it on someone's nation page without seeing the issue it came from, the obvious question is: Alternatives to what?

Also, be careful of abbrevations or formulae like GRAS and C4H4KNO4S that some players will not recognize. Is "GRAS" used internationally or is that specifically American government terminology? You used the acronym before you used the written-out version, and I'm not sure everyone that reads it would know what GRAS means.

[The New California Republic]

TITLE Muderously Sweet Suspect

VALIDITY Must not ban animal experimentation

DESCRIPTION
Acesulfame Potassium, also known as Ace K, a calorie-free sugar substitute, used in over fifty percent of sweetened products, has been the suspect of carcinogenic deaths. A study, dividing the scientific world, has found that mice given high dosage of Ace K had a higher prevelance of cancer, The head of the @@INITIALS@@ Food and Drug Administration has come to your office to explain the organsations stance on this matter.

OPTION 1 - "This so-called study had several shortcomings." explains @@RANDOMNAME@@, while showing a candy-colored powerpoint presentation, "Randomization flaws *click* poor animal monitoring *click* and an inadequate test duration. We have assessed Ace K ourselfs and, @@LEADER@@, it is completly GRAS so don't worry, it's safe."

EF C4H4KNO4S is consumed more than ever

OPTION 2 - "Better safe than sorry, " replies @@RANDOMNAME@@, from the Center of Science in the Public Interest, embittered, "The @@INITIALS@@FDA deemed Ace K 'generally recognized as safe' without so much as a quick review! Nothing has been proven yet and until proper research has been done we must ban Ace K as sweetener in consumer products."

EF Advantame, Alitame and Aspartame are appetizing alternatives

OPTION 3 - @@RANDOMNAME@@, a ninety-year-old citizen comes shambling into your office, "We had no such problems in the past. Bring back sugar and get rid of those nasty modern inventions."

EF Body fat isn't as artificial as the sweeteners once were

I have highlighted some spelling mistakes in red, or the ones that I have noticed anyway.

The effect of option 2 seems to lack punch. Mind you, the same could probably also be said for the effect of option 1.

[Autonomous Cleaner Bot Cleaners]

Is "GRAS" used internationally or is that specifically American government terminology?

Technically, it's an FDA term, but my memory insists that international organizations use, or at least recognize, it too. Whether they do so officially or merely because the FDA is big and influential, my Google-fu cannot seem to determine.

[Trotterdam]

For what it's worth, C₄H₄KNO₄S is just the chemical formula. Anyone who's had high school chemistry should be able to recognize it as a chemical formula, though not necessarily which chemical it stands for. I think we have the technical capability to render the subscripts properly, at least in the issue itself, though I think not in effect lines.

[Australian rePublic]

Options 2 & 3 have the same result

[USS Monitor]

For what it's worth, C₄H₄KNO₄S is just the chemical formula. Anyone who's had high school chemistry should be able to recognize it as a chemical formula, though not necessarily which chemical it stands for. I think we have the technical capability to render the subscripts properly, at least in the issue itself, though I think not in effect lines.

Recognizing it as a chemical formula doesn't give the reader enough info for it to be interesting. It's a bland effect line to start with, and making it harder to understand the meaning just makes it weaker.

[Verdant Haven]

That effect is definitely bland, but I think we could spice it up and add some humor that plays on its obscurity rather than needing other remove it.

Something like "C4H4KNO4S is treated as if it were mere C12H22O11."

Alternately, I could see it used as the final effect as "little Sally is no more 'cause what she thought was H2O was really C4H4KNSO4" (though I don't know how prevalent that rhyme is outside the states).

[USS Monitor]

That effect is definitely bland, but I think we could spice it up and add some humor that plays on its obscurity rather than needing other remove it.

Something like "C4H4KNO4S is treated as if it were mere C12H22O11."

Alternately, I could see it used as the final effect as "little Sally is no more 'cause what she thought was H2O was really C4H4KNSO4" (though I don't know how prevalent that rhyme is outside the states).

I think those still feel forced and it would be better to get the chemical formula out of there. In an issue that was ABOUT chemical formulas or clarity of communication, something like that would work. Here, it's just out of place and trying too hard to be "clever."

[Baggieland]

@@INITIALS@@ Food and Drug Administration

For my nation this would read: B Food and Drug Administration.

The macro you want is either demonymadjective or name.