[SUBMITTED] The Road to Hell

[Baggieland]

Here's leader's niece again!

[TITLE] The Road to Hell

[DESCRIPTION] Your impatient and inattentive niece has, somehow, passed her driving test. With the roads of @@NAME@@ now feeling less safe than ever before, your family has come together over dinner to discuss this matter.

[VALIDITY] allows cars, has prisons

[OPTION] "What idiot passed her?" bemoans your sister. "I drove her to the test centre and saw everything. There was a group of young school children crossing the street, your niece honked them so furiously that they had to run to get across the road. Then, she took off so fast that she drove straight into a brick wall. Yet she still passed her test! Clearly there are a lack of standards from our driving examiners. @@LEADER@@, you must get your advisers to create new standardized testing for our driving examiners and have them renew their licenses every two years. Then there'll be less people like my daughter on the roads."

[EFFECT] bus companies are laughing all the way to the bank

[OPTION] "Mum, that's so not fair!" squeals your niece. "Those school kids were like, deliberately walking slowly – wasting my time on purpose – I have a right to make them move more quickly. And like, what a dumb place to put a wall – right in front of a prison of all places! Anyway, that examiner was like, a really cool guy; it turned out that we went to the same school and we had a really good gossip about Mr. @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, our old Maths teacher. In my examiner's professional opinion, I passed the test, so now I have a license, and don't you do anything to change that."

[EFFECT] a driving license is obtained not by passing a test but by passing a brown envelope

[OPTION] "My little niece has a license now? That's so cool!" exclaims your brother. "Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let's go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, don't bother with any rules of the road – they're so lame!"

[EFFECT] the newest cars come complete with battle armour

[TITLE] The Road to Hell

[DESCRIPTION] Your impatient and inattentive niece has, somehow, passed her driving test. With the roads of @@NAME@@ now feeling less safe than ever before, your family has come together over dinner to discuss this matter.

[VALIDITY] allows cars, has prisons

[OPTION] "What idiot passed her?" bemoans your sister. "I drove her to the test centre and saw everything. Her test had barely begun, when she had to consider a group of young school children crossing the street, your niece honked them so furiously that they had to run to get across the road. Then, she took off so fast that she drove straight into a brick wall. Yet she still passed her test! Clearly there are a lack of standards from our driving examiners. @@LEADER@@, you must get your advisers to create new standardized testing for them and have them renew their examiner licenses every two years. Then there'll be less people like my daughter on the roads."

[EFFECT] bus companies are laughing all the way to the bank

[OPTION] "Mum, that's so not fair!" squeals your niece. "Those school kids were like, deliberately walking slowly – wasting my time on purpose – I have a right to make them move more quickly. And like, what a dumb place to put a wall – right in front of a prison of all places! Anyway, that examiner was like, a really cool guy; it turned out that we went to the same school and we had a really good gossip about Mr. @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, our old Maths teacher. In a driving examiner's opinion, if there are 'other reasons' to pass someone, then their professional judgement must be accepted. I have my license now, fair and square – kind of!"

[EFFECT] a driving license is obtained not by passing a test but by passing a brown envelope

[OPTION] "My little niece has a license now? That's so cool!" exclaims your brother. "Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let's go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, we should tell that sibling of mine that the government should do away with all the rules of the road – they're so lame!"

[EFFECT] the newest cars come complete with battle armour

[TITLE] The Road to Hell

[DESCRIPTION] Your impatient and inattentive niece has, somehow, passed her driving test. With the roads of @@NAME@@ now feeling less safe than ever before, your family has come together over dinner to discuss this matter.

[VALIDITY] allows cars, has prisons

[OPTION] "What idiot passed her?" bemoans your sister. "I drove her to the test centre and saw everything. Her test had barely begun, when she had to consider a group of young school children crossing the street, your niece honked them so furiously that they had to run to get across the road. Then, she took off so fast that she drove straight into a brick wall. Yet she still passed her test! Clearly there are a lack of standards from our driving examiners. @@LEADER@@, you must get your advisers to create new standardized testing for them and have them renew their examiner licenses every two years. Then there'll be less people like my daughter on the roads."

[EFFECT] bus companies are laughing all the way to the bank

[OPTION] "Mum, that's so not fair!" squeals your niece. "Those school kids were like, deliberately walking slowly – wasting my time on purpose – I have a right to make them move more quickly. And like, what a dumb place to put a wall – right in front of a prison of all places! Anyway, that examiner was like, a really cool guy; it turned out that we went to the same school and we had a really good gossip about Mr. @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, our old Maths teacher. In a driving examiner's opinion, if there are 'other reasons' to pass someone, then their professional judgement must be accepted. I have my license now, fair and square – kind of!"

[EFFECT] a driving license is obtained not by passing a test but by passing a brown envelope

[OPTION] "My little niece has a license now? That's so cool!" exclaims your brother. "Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let's go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, we should tell that sibling of mine that the government has way too many rules of the road and need to ease off on most of them!"

[EFFECT] the newest cars come complete with battle armour

[TITLE] The Road to Hell

[DESCRIPTION] Your impatient and inattentive niece has, somehow, passed her driving test. With the roads of @@NAME@@ now feeling less safe than ever before, your family has come together over dinner to discuss this matter.

[VALIDITY] allows cars, has prisons

[OPTION] "What idiot passed her?" bemoans your sister. "I drove her to the test centre and saw everything. Her test had barely begun, when she had to consider a group of young school children crossing the street, your niece honked them so furiously that they had to run to get across the road. Then, she took off so fast that she drove straight into a brick wall. Yet she still passed her test! Clearly there are a lack of standards from our driving examiners. @@LEADER@@, you must get your advisers to create new standardized testing for them and have them renew their examiner licenses every two years. Then there'll be less people like my daughter on the roads."

[EFFECT] bus companies are laughing all the way to the bank

[OPTION] "Mum, that's so not fair!" squeals your niece. "Those school kids were like, deliberately walking slowly – wasting my time on purpose – I have a right to make them move more quickly. And like, what a dumb place to put a wall – right in front of a prison of all places! Anyway, that examiner was like, a really cool guy; it turned out that we went to the same school and we had a really good gossip about Mr. @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, our old Maths teacher. In a driving examiner's opinion, if there are 'other reasons' to pass someone, then their professional judgement must be accepted. I have my license now, fair and square – kind of!"

[EFFECT] a driving license is obtained not by passing a test but by passing a brown envelope

[OPTION] "My little niece has a license now? That's so cool!" exclaims your brother. "Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let's go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, we should tell that sibling of mine that the government should do away with licenses altogether; learning by doing is always the best teacher!"

[EFFECT] the newest cars come complete with battle armour

[Australian rePublic]

Small nitpick of the description, but nonetheless,

The roads of @@NAME@@ aren't unsafe, just the roads of @@CAPITAL@@. But even then, it would depend on how big @@CAPITAL@@ was

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Small nitpick of the description, but nonetheless,

The roads of @@NAME@@ aren't unsafe, just the roads of @@CAPITAL@@. But even then, it would depend on how big @@CAPITAL@@ was

No, the implication of the text is that the roads are now less safe because your niece is driving, not because of the roads themselves. It works fine as it is.

My main concerns here are twofold:

First, it stretched verisimilitude that you could turn up to a driving test in a car that has recently hit a brick wall. I'd make it "almost hit", or make it a collision with something that wouldn't leave a mark, like a bouncy castle.

Second, the final option doesn't actually have any sort of action to it.

[Trotterdam]

First, it stretched verisimilitude that you could turn up to a driving test in a car that has recently hit a brick wall.

I read that as her driving into a wall during the test. Which is just as silly, of course.

[Baggieland]

that you could turn up to a driving test in a car that has recently hit a brick wall. I'd make it "almost hit"

I read that as her driving into a wall during the test. Which is just as silly, of course.

Trotterdam has read my intention correctly, it was during the test. Yes, it's silly, but that's how bad a driver she is - hence the roads of NAME are less safe.

Second, the final option doesn't actually have any sort of action to it.

The second option infers corruption / favouritism. The examiner was happy to pass a terrible driver because they found out that they shared something in common. It suggests that NAME's driving examiners are easily bought / corruptable.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Okay... I thought it was a description of how she drove TO the centre.
If that's how she drove during the test, then the narrative is assuming standards are currently very low, or that the driving license people are corrupt. That's overly assumptive, I think, though option 2 does kind of infer that. I guess we can gate it with appropriate validity checks for corruption levels.

As for the second comment, I was referring to option three.

Second, the final option doesn't actually have any sort of action to it.

As in "my second comment is that the final option doesn't actually have any sort of action to it."

[Australian rePublic]

Small nitpick of the description, but nonetheless,

The roads of @@NAME@@ aren't unsafe, just the roads of @@CAPITAL@@. But even then, it would depend on how big @@CAPITAL@@ was

No, the implication of the text is that the roads are now less safe because your niece is driving, not because of the roads themselves.

Yea, exactly. Nothing wrong with the roads themselves. However, how often would @@LEADER@@'s niece would drive outside of her own city/rural area (unless she goes on a road trip, but how often would that be?). If it was a problem with the roads, then it probably would affect the entire country. (Or at least the state/territory/province)

It works fine as it is.

Fine

My main concerns here are twofold:

First, it stretched verisimilitude that you could turn up to a driving test in a car that has recently hit a brick wall. I'd make it "almost hit", or make it a collision with something that wouldn't leave a mark, like a bouncy castle.

I, like Trott, also read it as though she hit the wall during her test, but, in either case, passing her still seems a little too corrupt

Second, the final option doesn't actually have any sort of action to it.

I disagree. I believe it actively legitimises corruption, where it otherwise wouldn't have been
EDIT: My bad. I thought it said "second option". As for the final option, I feel as though that should be shaped as @@LEADER@@'s relatives being above the law

[Baggieland]

As in "my second comment is that the final option doesn't actually have any sort of action to it."

Um, I thought option 3 was quite clear: ban all rules of the road. Total free-for-all!

how often would @@LEADER@@'s niece would drive outside of her own city/rural area

As often as she wants, she has a license now.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

As in "my second comment is that the final option doesn't actually have any sort of action to it."

Um, I thought option 3 was quite clear: ban all rules of the road. Total free-for-all!

It reads to me as if your brother is talking to his niece, not to you.

"Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let's go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, don't bother with any rules of the road – they're so lame!"

He's telling his niece to ignore the rules of the road, not telling Leader to get rid of all road rules.

[Baggieland]

It reads to me as if your brother is talking to his niece, not to you.

He is talking to his niece.

He's telling his niece to ignore the rules of the road, not telling Leader to get rid of all road rules.

It's an inferred action for LEADER to take.

Anyway, it's clear that this draft isn't as clear to everyone as it is to others. So... 2nd draft is up.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Yep, that's clearer!

Technically, abolishing ALL rules of the road would probably be a new policy, as it would affect any other issues that mention those road rules. Personally, the workload of having to do that would put me off picking up the edit, but don't let that stop you, just something to mention.

[Baggieland]

Technically, abolishing ALL rules of the road would probably be a new policy, as it would affect any other issues that mention those road rules. Personally, the workload of having to do that would put me off picking up the edit, but don't let that stop you, just something to mention.

Fair enough. 'ALL' rules have been replaced. 3rd draft is up.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Looks good to me.

[Trotterdam]

I think option 3 should just abolish the need for drivers' licences. Anyone who owns a car may drive it, no need to waste time with this "tests" or "teaching" stuff.

That lets you technically keep other rules of the road but will make it considerably harder to enforce them...

[Baggieland]

I think option 3 should just abolish the need for drivers' licences. Anyone who owns a car may drive it, no need to waste time with this "tests" or "teaching" stuff.

That lets you technically keep other rules of the road but will make it considerably harder to enforce them...

Not a bad idea that, Trotters. Then option 3 can also be about licenses, like the rest of the issue.

4th draft is up!

[Baggieland]

Bump. Any more comments?

[Trotterdam]

[OPTION] "My little niece has a license now? That's so cool!" exclaims your brother. "Hey girl, leave these squares to finish their dinner by themselves. Let's go for a spin in my car, you can drive, show me how you passed your test! In fact, we should tell that sibling of mine that the government should do away with licenses altogether; learning by doing is always the best teacher!"

While I like the idea behind this option (no surprise there, since it was my suggestion), I find the phrasing awkward, as the last sentence seems to simply be tacked on for the sake of technically proposing a government action, rather than following logically from the rest of the speech.

I would suggest having the reaction to the license be more around "It's about time!" than "That's so cool!", and then build on that.

[Baggieland]

I would suggest having the reaction to the license be more around "It's about time!" than "That's so cool!", and then build on that.

Have to disagree on this bit. Leader's teenage niece has always been portrayed as mid teens, therefore just being old enough to take her first driving test fits. "It's about time" suggests she's been trying for a long time to pass her test. Of course it is possible to fail your test today and take it again tomorrow, but most people don't do that.

I find the phrasing awkward, as the last sentence seems to simply be tacked on for the sake of technically proposing a government action, rather than following logically from the rest of the speech.

I can see how it comes across as a bit contrived. However, this option is rather unique as it has the brother talking directly to the niece. Whereas every other option in NS has the speaker talking directly to Leader. If you can think of a way to rephrase it without disrupting the flow of brother to niece, I will happily consider it. These kind of things always get discussed in the editing room as well.

[Trotterdam]

Leader's teenage niece has always been portrayed as mid teens, therefore just being old enough to take her first driving test fits.

And does my brother believe there should be an age limit on such things? Given his respect for the rules of the road, it wouldn't surprise me if he figures you should be able to drive as soon as you're tall enough to reach the steering wheel.

In real life, there have been instances of children stealing and driving the family car for a short distance without crashing it. (There have also been instances of them doing so with crashing it, of course.)

[Baggieland]

And does my brother believe there should be an age limit on such things? Given his respect for the rules of the road, it wouldn't surprise me if he figures you should be able to drive as soon as you're tall enough to reach the steering wheel.

In real life, there have been instances of children stealing and driving the family car for a short distance without crashing it. (There have also been instances of them doing so with crashing it, of course.)

Psycho brother probably wouldn't have any age limit for driving - a good job he's not Leader!

Thanks for all your input everyone. Submitted.

[Socio Polor]

Good Luck!

[Baggieland]

Thanks y'all!

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck