by La Jem » Wed Dec 19, 2018 10:05 am
by Jutsa » Wed Dec 19, 2018 10:26 am
The issue
" this is a travesty of the @@capital@@! " exclaims @@randomname@@ of your antique mirrors " it's quite simple really. The people voted for the whole world of @@name@@'s most sacred toy rayguns. "
"earlier the problem isn’t good. It's a helmet of the law enforcement in @@name@@. we should have heavily armed paramilitary rayguns" says @@randomname@@ while glaring at the tank outside.
I'M DYINGcries your window as he appears seemingly out of nowhere.
by Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Wed Dec 19, 2018 10:33 am
by Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Dec 19, 2018 10:52 am
by Caracasus » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:09 am
by The Free Joy State » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:11 am
by Fecaw » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:12 am
by Evil Dictators Happyland » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:14 am
La Jem wrote:Alright, so, I wrote a little bot for a class that isn't that smart. I thought it would be fun to make it right a few issues, just for fun. So here is the first one! I'll be adding more if you find them as funny as I do. And hopefully, it will get smarter over time. Also, this bot needs a name if it is going to be a thing. Taking suggestions now!
Without further ado, here is the first issue, in all its nonsensical glory.
The issue
" this is a travesty of the @@capital@@! " exclaims @@randomname@@ of your antique mirrors " it's quite simple really. The people voted for the whole world of @@name@@'s most sacred toy rayguns. "
Option 1:
"earlier the problem isn’t good. It's a helmet of the law enforcement in @@name@@. we should have heavily armed paramilitary rayguns" says @@randomname@@ while glaring at the tank outside.
Option 2:
" hey now, civil rights abusers have to worry about the rayguns. It's not just going to be protesting anymore. " advises @@randommalename@@ while slamming itself into the nearest political enemy. " we must teach the children that rayguns are just delaying it. "
Option 3:
"of the law we must clampdown! " cries your window as he appears seemingly out of nowhere. " you know we can not have rayguns! destroy all of them! "
by Greater vakolicci haven » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:15 am
by La Jem » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:15 am
Caracasus wrote:Got to say, didn't read the blurb at the start and wondered whether I was having a stroke.
Edit: Read the blurb. Someone with more authority than me... so pretty much any authority at all really would probably suggest that you do not start new threads should you want to post more of these. I'd also ask you nicely not to as it would clog up the forum and push genuine submissions down or off the page.
by Altion » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:17 am
Rojava Free State wrote:Scorpio Spikal wrote:As long as I can be free when the world ends, no.
Everybody waiting for global warming to kill us, but I ain't no bitch.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna go wake cthulhu up. I got an alarm clock and if that doesn't work I have a trumpet. We're about to get things lit
by La Jem » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:18 am
Evil Dictators Happyland wrote:...Permission to polish this idea and submit it as a serious issue?
by The Free Joy State » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:19 am
La Jem wrote:Caracasus wrote:Got to say, didn't read the blurb at the start and wondered whether I was having a stroke.
Edit: Read the blurb. Someone with more authority than me... so pretty much any authority at all really would probably suggest that you do not start new threads should you want to post more of these. I'd also ask you nicely not to as it would clog up the forum and push genuine submissions down or off the page.
I wasn't going to, just expand the thread! But thanks for the warning!
by Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:20 am
by La Jem » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:21 am
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I'm presuming you've not incorporated any machine learning, as that'd be a seriously impressive feat!
by Pencil Sharpeners 2 » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:24 am
by United States of Natan » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:31 am
Then it's a lie. Everything Fox News says is a lie.
Even true things once said on Fox News become lies.
(Family Guy: Excellence in Broadcasting)
by Greater vakolicci haven » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:39 am
by Evil Dictators Happyland » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:57 am
La Jem wrote:Alright, so, I wrote a little bot for a class that isn't that smart. I thought it would be fun to make it right a few issues, just for fun. So here is the first one! I'll be adding more if you find them as funny as I do. And hopefully, it will get smarter over time. Also, this bot needs a name if it is going to be a thing. Taking suggestions now!
Without further ado, here is the first issue, in all its nonsensical glory.
The issue
" this is a travesty of the @@capital@@! " exclaims @@randomname@@ of your antique mirrors " it's quite simple really. The people voted for the whole world of @@name@@'s most sacred toy rayguns. "
Option 1:
"earlier the problem isn’t good. It's a helmet of the law enforcement in @@name@@. we should have heavily armed paramilitary rayguns" says @@randomname@@ while glaring at the tank outside.
Option 2:
" hey now, civil rights abusers have to worry about the rayguns. It's not just going to be protesting anymore. " advises @@randommalename@@ while slamming itself into the nearest political enemy. " we must teach the children that rayguns are just delaying it. "
Option 3:
"of the law we must clampdown! " cries your window as he appears seemingly out of nowhere. " you know we can not have rayguns! destroy all of them! "
The Issue
After it came to light that the DeathBlaster 9000 - a kind of toy ray gun manufactured by @@RANDOMLASTNAME1@@ Industries - packs enough power to injure people and accidentally start small fires, the people have once again started beating down your door demanding change.
Option 1
"This is a travesty of @@NAME@@!" exclaims concerned parent and purveyor of antique mirrors @@RANDOMNAME2@@. "Just yesterday, my child was playing with one of these aptly-named 'death rays' when the laser reflected off a mirror, nearly blinding their brother and setting a pile of documents on fire! Were it not for the timely intervention of first responders, our house would have burned down. You simply must ban these infernal 'toys' before anyone else gets hurt. And while we're at it, we should ban anything else that can accidentally start fires. Think of the children!"
Result
camping enthusiasts despair as @@NAME@@ cracks down on firestarting materials
Option 2
"@@HE2@@ is obviously missing the point of these things." growls the Chief of Police for @@CAPITAL@@, glaring at an antiquated law enforcement vehicle outside. "We shouldn't let the public have them, yes, but we should also begin mass producing them for the police and the Army. No foreign nation would dare attack us if our troops have death rays, and criminals couldn't turn themselves in fast enough. So what if they can barely scorch paper? It's intimidation that matters."
Result
foreign nations laugh as @@NAME@@'s soldiers are issued laser pointers instead of sidearms
Option 3
"You must understand that banning my products simply isn't going to work, @@LEADER@@." says @@RANDOMNAME1@@, founder and CEO of @@RANDOMLASTNAME1@@ Industries. "The technology is already out there. Instead, we need to train people in the art of defending themselves. Establishing such a program will require commitment and a lot of DeathBlaster 9000s, but if you can supply the former, I can cut you a deal on the latter." @@HE1@@ offers a handshake. "Do we have a deal?"
Result
regularly playing laser tag is mandatory
by Trotterdam » Wed Dec 19, 2018 1:00 pm
by USS Monitor » Wed Dec 19, 2018 1:12 pm
by Nagatar Karumuttu Chettiar » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:23 pm
by Merconitonitopia » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:38 pm
La Jem wrote:"You can't have the technology in the shower! Why would it go on every street sign? " asks @@randomname@@, president of this appalling company. "We need to tell it to get away! "
[Effect]
the nation's street signs must be without help from technology
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