[DRAFT] Mandatory Establishment Act

[Snoburg]

A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry
Strength: mild

Believing that a nations natural beauty must be preserved in the interest of humanity.
Knowing that some WA nations attempt to override their states beauty in the interest of industry
The General Assembly
1. Will establish a committee of unincorporated and unbiased individuals
2. Will examine nations and find areas that they deem worth preserving in the interest of the nations ecosystems and natural beauty
3. Will have quarterly investigations on these areas to make sure their ecosystems are still intact
4. Will force the cause of any significantly inhibited to cease before the next quarterly inspection
5. Due to the significant loss of industry and therefore revenue on WA nations, a significant amount of tax dollars will be given back to these nations yearly, to make sure that the economy of these countries is not significantly impaired.

These laws will hopefully allow more natural beauty in our world.

[Frisbeeteria]

4. Will force the cause of any significantly inhibited to cease before the next quarterly inspection

In English, please?

a significant amount of tax dollars will be given back to these nations yearly,

By whom? Money doesn't just appear out of thin air. Somebody pays.

[Snoburg]

4. Will force the cause of any significantly inhibited to cease before the next quarterly inspection

In English, please?

a significant amount of tax dollars will be given back to these nations yearly,

By whom? Money doesn't just appear out of thin air. Somebody pays.

Yeah, didn't notice that spelling mistake, and I'm wprking through the money bit, as a tax raise wouldn't make sense

[Frisbeeteria]

Yeah, didn't notice that spelling mistake

I don't see a spelling mistake. I see a sentence that makes no sense whatsoever. Given that it's probably the most significant actionable line in the entire proposal, you need to clarify what you intend it to mean.

[Kenmoria]

“Comments in red have been placed on the draft.”

A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry
Strength: mild You have the strength, but not the category, and one doesn’t really make sense without the other. Thanks Arakaur, edit applied.

Believing that a nations natural beauty must be preserved in the interest of humanity. All of your clauses are quite bunched together, I strongly recommend adding a line breaks between them to aid comprehension and aesthetics.
Knowing that some WA nations attempt to override their states beauty in the interest of industry
The General Assembly
1. Will establish a committee of unincorporated and unbiased individuals
2. Will examine nations and find areas that they deem worth preserving in the interest of the nations ecosystems and natural beauty There should be an apostrophe in ‘nations’ and you haven’t mentioned what these areas will do, beyond from reviewing a review every quarter.
3. Will have quarterly investigations on these areas to make sure their ecosystems are still intact What will be the result of this? If ecosystems are not intact, what will happen?
4. Will force the cause of any significantly inhibited to cease before the next quarterly inspection This clause does not make any sort of sense, which is particularly problematic as this is the only one with a definitive effect, and proposals require at least one clause with a definitive effect.
5. Due to the significant loss of industry and therefore revenue on WA nations, a significant amount of tax dollars will be given back to these nations yearly, to make sure that the economy of these countries is not significantly impaired. Where will this money come from? One cannot just materialise cash from nowhere, and I’m unsure of the mechanism by which the WA could possibly pay all the thousands of nations within it.

These laws will hopefully allow more natural beauty in our world. They will only do this if the proposal makes complete sense, and line breaks between all your clauses won’t hurt.

[Bears Armed]

OOC
"dollars" is either a Rl reference (and thus illegal) or -- if it refers either to a Roleplay forums concept [such as the NSD or the 'Universal Standard' Dollar] or to the currency of one specific nation -- Meta-gaming (and thus illegal).

[Araraukar]

“Comments in red have been placed on the draft.”

A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry
Strength: mild You have the category, but not the strength, and one doesn’t really make sense without the other.

OOC: I think you mean they have the strength but not the category.