DESCRIPTION:
After tensions between WhoTube Streamers PooDiePoo and WeSeries reached a breaking point, a young @@DEMONYM@@ man threw himself in front of a car "to save his King PooDiePoo". The news has cooked up a storm about the tremendous, and even dangerous amount of influence these "WhoTubers" have in modern @@NAME@@. With all this chaos, your advisors have decided to bring this situation to your knowledge.
I'm struggling to see the link here. How is this saving PooDiePoo? At present I'm reading this more as an issue regarding mental health treatment for the nation's young. Perhaps one of the whotubers saught submissions from their viewers doing really dangerous things to bump their ratings?
OPTION ONE (1) Validity: Nation Not Atheist
After some heated debate, @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Deputy of Religion, tearfully speaks up. "This is terrible... that poor boy. He threw himself in front of a car for no reason other than some 'WhoTube' channel being about to pass this 'PooDiePoo'. This can tell us only one thing; WhoTube is extremely dangerous. Those faithless heathens on WhoTube are corrupting the youth, and are treated like gods for it! Gods! These fanatical and dangerous acts of devotion are blasphemy. Children shouldn't be devoted to these WhoTubers, they should be devoted to the faith! @@LEADER@@, you should subsidize @@FAITH@@ to teach children morality and devotion from a young age, because if they do not know what the faith is, they won't ever escape from the horrific trap that is WhoTube."
OUTCOME: aspiring @@DEMONYM@@ WhoTubers are now considered heresiarchs
Better - but you've got to remember that not everyone knows what the hell this is referencing, or even what these channels are. I feel this would make more sense to us old gits if you were to rescript the opening part so it clearly laid out the contest between the two whotubers and then demonstrated the dangerous power these people have over young people.
OPTION TWO
"I am not sure about this" whispers your rather stout Minister of Tradition. "The problem here isn't who the children are serving or devoted to. That is a matter of choice that we shouldn't infringe upon. But, I do think we could curb this violent behavior by-" he lowers his voice, "banning the internet. I mean think about it, it is such a dangerous tool. It isn't just WhoTube. People use the internet to recruit children into terrorist groups. I mean, we just caught a young boy trying to go off and become a Liliputian rebel. The internet is bad stuff. I say we get rid of it altogether, and let @@NAME@@ take a breath of fresh air!"
OUTCOME: @@DEMONYM@@ Children can often be found secretly trading WhoTube CDs
Why ban the internet when it's one site that's a problem?